Transcript
Speaker: Hey everyone, it's Garrett. I'm here with Stalen. We are doing something different today. We are previewing our next book that we're reading. This next season with February ah being you know the month that Valentine's Day is celebrated, love being in the air, we thought, hey, let's do a theme centered around the topic of love.
Speaker: And we thought, why not read a marriage book? And Stalen, you recommended and the guys voted and we'll be reading the seven principles for making marriage work by John Gottman and Nan Silver.
Speaker: Yeah, walk us, you know, walk me through. Let's kind of just preview the book on why this stuck out to you that you recommended it to the guys. Yeah, I think all of us really had a desire to, you know, the whole idea of what why we do this each week is so that we can better know each other, but also help each other become better men, better spouses, better, you know,
Speaker: better in a lot of ways. And I think that this was an area that we haven't, you know, dug into in the past for the book club. So we're all really excited to go into this. Um, you know, we're all um married men are trying to become married men.
Speaker: And so I think with that, um, a book like this can be very valuable to yeah, learn, grow, and hopefully find out the ways in which we can work on our marriage, effective marriage, positively understand ourselves a little better, but also hopefully understand our spouse better.
Speaker: Um, Yeah. So I personally first read this book. I think it was like in either 2018 or 2019. Actually, when I picked it back up, it was kind of cool to see a handwritten note in the intro and it was earned the on the front page. ah An older, wiser individual gave it to me.
Speaker: He was a counselor and he said, hey, you should read this book. He was like, it'll... positively affect your marriage in ways that you you can't imagine. And I think i would say it's been i would say it's been fairly true for me. There's a lot of things that i learned from the past um that I still can recall, but I'm really looking forward to getting into it again to kind of revisit some of these ideas.
Speaker: I'm sure I've forgotten a ton, but also to be able to discuss these things with with you all and get a chance to hopefully learn with each other and grow with each other. And yeah. yeah become better husbands.
Speaker: For sure. Yeah, i I had not heard of this book until you introduced it to me. And a short background, some stuff had kind of hit the fan in my own marriage.
Speaker: This is coming up about 18 months ago, actually. And Stalin really just took me under his wing, I would say.
Speaker: and He was like, hey, if you if you want to make things right. You got to this, that and the other, and you need to read these handful of books.
Speaker: And the first book you recommended was this one. And I still since that time, I still tell people that this is the best marriage book I've ever read. Hmm. don't necessarily quote it per se, but I recommend it and I talk a lot about a lot of the things that I've learned and then even, yeah, starting to pick it up as we're getting into it again, already applying some things, you know met with a couple guys.
Speaker: We kind of have a ah small group of guys I meet with every other week and guys are talking about how their marriages are going. And I immediately started giving them advice that was directly from, because it's so practical, it's applicable. Yeah.
Speaker: And, It honestly works. It really does. And, uh, owe it a lot to this book, but more so you stay in for, you know, being so intentional with me and introducing this book to me.
Speaker: So I'm thrilled to be going through it with you this time and the other guys as well. Yeah. Yeah. It'll be cool. I'm, I'm glad to hear that. And thanks for sharing Garrett. Um, to kind of quickly do a quick overview to or preview of the book. So yeah let's do that John Gottman had done and his wife have a love lab in Seattle, which you'll hear us talk about more in coming weeks where basically they did various collected various fidget physiological data with newly married couples.
Speaker: And it's in like an apartment, right? A stage department. Yeah. In an apartment, yeah essentially a lab where they're, having them observing them for just an basically a normal weekend.
Speaker: yeah um And they're observing them deal with conflicts and conversations. And then through this, um he tracks these couples and follows through with who um stays married, who doesn't stay married and develop some pretty ah ah fascinating research about divorce and who stays married.
Speaker: And through that, he's able to then go through the develops the seven principles of what he believes are what make marriages work or that you'll see in healthy, happy, ah lasting marriages. So I hope that I hope the same for all of us in this group and hope for the same for you listening. So I think this is going to be a really good read for us to for us to do.
Speaker: Couldn't agree more. Yeah. I mean, we always say at the end of our podcast episodes to read, reflect and connect. And it is a fun little catchphrase that you, Stalen, created props to you.
Speaker: But I do think actually, actually, I think it was Ruth that and did. Really? Okay, well, there you go. yeah The eighth principle for making marriage work. Give credit to your spouse. And, uh, but yeah, I mean, in all seriousness, the idea behind why we do this is hopefully encouraging people and men, but also women, you know, we closer to half of our listeners are women after all. Um, so it's for both sides of the equation of, you know, reflecting and and connecting more.
Speaker: And so hopefully this, if we can play a small role in encouraging you all with reading this, picking this book up, joining us in the conversation, and then taking some things and applying it to your own relationship and marriage, then that's that's one of the hopes.
Speaker: So excited to get into it. And we look forward to you tuning in over the next seven to eight weeks to read along with the seven principles for making marriage work by John Gottman.
Speaker: We'll see you all next week. But until then, read, reflect and connect.
