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Wingle Yer Fingles w/Smoses
1 Plays3 seconds ago
Today we talk with our pal Smoses about the proper way to scratch your crotch in public. Ya know... important stuff.
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Transcript
00:00:01
Speaker
And there we go. Hang on.
Technical Issues and Playful Banter
00:00:03
Speaker
gotta share the link in the in the other place because no one's gonna fucking love me if I don't. Hang on. I'll always love you.
00:00:12
Speaker
Yeah. there Oh, thanks, buddy. We doing the jive, not jiners. Doing jive, not jiners. I was trying for the listeners at home. we' We're having a discussion and Danny asked Hitch for a word that rhymed with dive.
00:00:24
Speaker
And so it rhymed with five and they said jive. And I try to do a joke of diners, divers drive-ins and dives. And I said, jiners, dive-ins and jives. And Hitch said, well, that's a word that I didn't know I hated until I heard it.
00:00:37
Speaker
And I agree with Hitch 100%. Now you're all caught up. That's where all that came from. Moving on. don't think we went live in time for that. So I think you could have just never said anything. No, but I said it just now on
Roleplay Scenario with Schmortzborg
00:00:51
Speaker
the recorded. Oh, I see. Okay. and i it's internet Adrian, go ahead and do the intro for us.
00:00:57
Speaker
I don't know the intro on the top of my head. What? You listen to the show. and do. Oh, yeah. I'm canceling him. We're going back to just us. It starts with Guten Morgen.
00:01:11
Speaker
Guten Morgen. Guten Abend. Oh, yeah. Can we have the intro in journal? To all people on the binary spectrum. you're you Keep going. And I don't know. Welcome back to welcome back to roleplayers, right? That's right. We're we're we're playing. ah hope you brought your dice. All right. So you all last last we left our heroes, you were in a cave and Danny, your character Smorschborg leg got broken. Good old Schmortzborg broke his leg.
00:01:45
Speaker
and And so you were by yourself. You lost your party. Adrian, we talked off camera.
Audio Troubleshooting
00:01:50
Speaker
Your character, diabolical dude, ah has shown up at the cave seeking to do evil.
00:01:56
Speaker
And you see him a half-elf boy with a broken leg under a table. I'm gonna break his- I've already left me, my wife left me, and now my leg is broken. How can do they get any worse? Or break your leg and or fight throw you in a volcano.
00:02:15
Speaker
Oh no. Danny, we have to stop. ah ah Hitch just jumped in chat and said they can only hear you and not me and Adrian. Oh, that's fine. Is it? I wouldn't say that's fine.
00:02:31
Speaker
Not for our watchers. For our listeners, it's great. As far as I can tell, everything's working swimmingly for me. We're doing great. Give me one sec. Let me find it. How's that? Can hear them now? Can you hear us meow? Meow.
00:02:46
Speaker
hows that can you hear them now
00:02:51
Speaker
you hear us meow Adam says in the chat, random Adam asked a question. He said, can you hear us meow? Um, so yeah, we, so, so diabolical dude, you see a half elf boy laying on the ground and he's, he's writhing in pain.
00:03:07
Speaker
Uh, you can see clearly someone has broke his knees. Uh, one of his knees. His other knee is fine. Um, What do you do? I go there, I break his- I don't know you, and I throw him in a volcano.
00:03:20
Speaker
Oh shit! I just realized how much of an insane person I sound like with that last bit when they couldn't hear you giving the whole- And me just sitting there going... wow
00:03:33
Speaker
Yeah, you know, that's why we're here. I mean, he must have heard things. He's hearing voices in his head. Well, we're back on stream here. Okay, so hey, we're here with Adrian and Danny.
Time Zones and Daylight Savings Discussion
00:03:46
Speaker
Adrian and I were trying to figure out what game we wanted to play because we wanted to spend some time together today.
00:03:51
Speaker
And then at one point I kept checking in and be like, oh, I should see if Danny wants to do a recording. And I was like, Adrian, if like Danny wants to get on soon, do you want to like just do it? And he goes, oh shit, I'm ready and willing. um I couldn't pass up that opportunity. Right. So here we are. Adrian's awake. It is currently, what, almost eight o'clock in your time as we record. Almost 2 p.m. our time.
00:04:14
Speaker
Six hour time difference right now anyway, until Daylight Savings fucks it up for a little while. Or we're or rather backtracking on Daylight Savings fucks it up. um standard, what they call it? Standard daylight time? stan I'll be honest, I can't keep track of the time things anymore. I just look at my phone.
00:04:29
Speaker
that's Right, most cops do that automatically. Yeah. yeah um So anyway, we have a question here.
Reddit's Question: Scratching Groin in Public
00:04:37
Speaker
It's on the screen. It's been on the screen for a while, but for the listeners, you don't know that because you don't have a screen.
00:04:43
Speaker
At least i mean you do, but you don't have our screen. So the question is, are you guys ready to talk about this? Oh yeah, I'm always ready to talk about my itchy groin.
00:04:54
Speaker
Yeah, this is one that like I wanted Adrian on the show to answer because this is something he really specializes in. um Germans have a lot of technology that helps them out with stuff like this.
00:05:06
Speaker
So i'm hoping okay you can help us out.
Technological Solutions for Discreet Scratching
00:05:08
Speaker
So the question is, from, I'm guessing you pronounce it as Amaz, from the No Stupid Questions Reddit, from four minutes ago as of this recording.
00:05:18
Speaker
And they ask, how do I scratch my groin in public without looking weird? I do not want others thinking I am weird. This is a literal question. I have wondered for so long time, for us, for a long time.
00:05:32
Speaker
Do not blame me. And that's the end of the question. So I do not want others I'm weird. That's a literal question. I have wondered for a long time. Do not blame me. I won't blame you because you asked it a question on a no stupid questions Reddit.
00:05:45
Speaker
And right that's the rules. You can't be mad at someone for asking a question there. So Adrian, I'm going to start with you. I know you have a lot of opinions on this. And as German culture is very important around this subject, let's help Amaz out. what How do they scratch discreetly? Yes, tell me all about German going. Germans have a lot of like technology that helps them in everyday life.
00:06:09
Speaker
So you should just go here to Germany, go to a shop and buy like a ball scratcher. You can put it in your pocket and you can control it with your phone. And can control the intervals and then just scratch your balls through the pants.
00:06:25
Speaker
And i already have one in my pants. Adrian sent me one before we started this. So I'm just going to Ah, ah, ah, ah. So you need to make sure. That was a ball scratcher. I put it up my ass. Okay. It's multifunctional. Just don't hit the green button right away. You have to sort you have to put the settings on.
00:06:47
Speaker
And I put it on Freddy Krueger setting. That was not proper. Don't do that. There's also disco mode. If you want to, like, make lights off your pants. oh Oh, they're glowing.
00:07:00
Speaker
Oh, they're blowing. That's a pre-existing condition, actually. Okay, so... Literally burning down there. So you're saying that you have a ball scratch... It's a ball scratcher that works through your phone.
00:07:14
Speaker
What does it look like? What does look like? It's kind of like ah cylindaral cylindrical in shape, and it's kind of like a back scratcher, like something comes out. It comes out. It just like comes out, and it goes through your pants. It just shows like this.
00:07:31
Speaker
it just kind of like does like a little kind and moving finger wiggle for the listeners at home. Right. So imagine your hand is, um, supinate, no pronated.
00:07:43
Speaker
No, supinated. its Then you can't handle it. Right. If your palm is up, that's supinated, right? Yeah. So, cause you're asking for supinated. Um,
00:07:54
Speaker
And then like you wiggle your fingers. ah finger Yeah, your fingers. fingers yup you wiggle your f fingers You wiggle your fingers. ah There's a title idea. Wiggle your fingers. I'm way ahead of you, Danny. I'm already starting.
00:08:10
Speaker
Doing it right now. Wiggle your fingers. Wiggle your fingers. go ah OK, so, Danny, tell us, you know, we've heard the advice from the German man who has this technology as an American who might not have that technology. how but so do we do. Yeah, yeah. No, I got you. And I like to call this the Velcro method.
00:08:37
Speaker
Don't worry, it's not as bad as it sounds. But what you want to do is the Velcro to your balls. Actually, no, i know. Surprisingly. Oh, but it's it's along the same idea.
00:08:49
Speaker
So what you want to do is next time you, you know, groom and you shave down there, leave a bit of stubble, you know, like you do on your face and then you you can go like this to scratch. And then when you need to scratch, you just cricket that problem. You just rub your legs together.
00:09:05
Speaker
You know, people if anybody asks, you just got to pee. But really, you're using that stubble to really scratch everywhere. Oh, that's how I think we should do it. That's a fascinating idea. Yeah.
00:09:19
Speaker
Or, you want a better answer, just go to the fucking bathroom. That takes too much time. That's inconvenient. You go to the bathroom, you scratch what you need to scratch, and you go, okay, that's fine, I only need to wash my hands.
Cultural Attitudes and Hygiene Concerns
00:09:33
Speaker
What is the thing about that? I think it's the American way, why should Why should I have to go all the way to the bathroom? just to like Would you be offended if I scratched my hand? No. No?
00:09:45
Speaker
Right. Would you be offended if I scratched my arm? No. Yes. Like what if I was wearing a short shirt and I scratched my skin? Right. OK, no. Most people aren't going to bat an eye at that. So what if i you know, as long as here's the thing, as long as you're not reaching into your underwear to scratch anything, I don't care. It doesn't offend me at all. If you're digging somewhere to get it like you're scratching over your clothes, you know.
00:10:10
Speaker
But the thing is, is like your hands are the filthiest part of your whole entire body. And those things touch everything. So if I'm like touching my clothes and then I bump up against you in ah in a crowd, now I'm transferring my hand germs onto your clothes, right?
00:10:24
Speaker
Your hands are the filthiest motherfucking thing. I also have another question for Amaz. How often is this an issue that you need to think about it all the time? Because don't know about you guys, but like,
00:10:43
Speaker
They're not like constantly itching. Yeah, you're right about that. It's not like something I need to revolve my life around. Adrian, how often would you say it gets itchy down there?
00:10:57
Speaker
Adrian, how often would you say it gets itchy down there for you? a Yearly, annually. annually 10 times times annually right wow i mean so that's less than one a month exactly wow okay okay but if you say monthly then it's three times Wait, what? Wait, so 10 times in a year, but three times in a month. Right. Yeah, no, I get you. Makes perfect sense. So so there's two, the the space-time continuum splits in two, and if Adrian decides he's going to measure annually how often he gets itchy, his body goes, well, we we have to keep it under 10. But if Adrian starts tracking monthly, they're like, well whoa, whoa, whoa, we got to go up to three times
00:11:52
Speaker
At least once every week and a half. um Wow. Okay. Well, how about you, Adam? You haven't answered the question yet. How would you solve the ball itching problem?
00:12:03
Speaker
You just do it through your pockets. Right. I've always ever just done it through my... You just reach into your fucking pockets. here's Here's a little trick. I'll tell you i tell you right now. Almost always, when I don't know what to do with my hands, but I want to still be like presentable... And when I say presentable, I don't mean like...
00:12:22
Speaker
I don't know, like I'm being judged, but like I'm very aware. I'm trying to be aware of what my body language is around people. So like I don't want to like when I don't know to hands, I used to cross my arms a lot. But then someone once said like that could come off as like I'm irritated or maybe I'm confrontational. So I was like, oh okay I can see what you mean.
00:12:39
Speaker
So if I ever go to do it and I'm aware I'm doing it, what ah what I've learned to do and I've been training myself to do this for years now is I'll put my only just my fingers in my pocket. My thumb will hang out. So because part of it is like if I'm walking with my hands in my pocket all the time and I fall, I want to be able to get my hands out my pocket quick enough to break my fall.
00:12:56
Speaker
So like I don't put my thumb in my pockets. But also makes me look less suspicious of like an authoritative. approach is called pressure Right. it's Like he's like, yeah. So like, you know, I just use my middle finger because it's longer. But now if my thumb disappears into my pockets, I'm either grabbing something or I'm scratching something.
00:13:14
Speaker
yeah like Good to know. right yeah So if we're ever hanging out and you see my hands go like from this to that, something's happening. you know is So like Hitch, if you're watching, you now know the secret.
00:13:31
Speaker
Hitch is never going to look at you the same way. always girl You can also just watch. my body I do try very hard to not... um cross my arms anymore because that's just like ah it was a resting state for me.
00:13:45
Speaker
Like usually if it's like up like um by your chest more, it's a lot more like I'm trying to be intimidating. Usually I just kind of keep them low. It's just like a like a little hug, I guess, to keep my arms from doing something. One of the things I do to be able to cross my arms so without looking like I'm being so standoffish is I'll do like the one cross but then the other one i'm just kind of i'll do that yeah like i'm still listening to you i'm not like closed off i'm just kind of holding my own arm up yeah i'll do that too if i'm like sitting down if i'm like i'll go like just more of like a lean onto that hand instead like yes right indeed of course yeah when your elbow starts to cut when you're like yeah yeah you gotta switch elbows yeah gotta switch elbows or you gotta like kind of
00:14:27
Speaker
maneuver it a bit kind of get like the muscle out of the way do like this one yeah you know like hitch says they're not bothered by the new information so that's good we're still thank god man hitch hitch is like the perfect roommate for you right i get away with too much um So, ah so yeah. So anyway, yeah, through the pockets, like, the like, again, you're scratching through fabric. You're trying to be discreet. I remember in high school, my girlfriend's best friend once I reached back and scratched my ass cheek and she was like, she's like, did you just scratch your butt?
00:15:02
Speaker
And at first I said, no. And then like, wait, yes. Yeah. I was like, because it like, because it's itchy. And she's like, you don't scratch your butt. butt in front of people and was like why though like I'm not reaching down my pants and like fishing you know I'm not fishing for like I don't see the problem that I guess it it depends like if you're going for and this goes for the groin too but if you're just going for like a little quick you know little pinch scratch whatever you know get out of the way you're good it's when you go like
00:15:37
Speaker
bring up the one leg, and you're like, really digging in there! Yeah, it's when you make a show of it. Right. Yeah. I don't know how that's not common knowledge for people to just do.
00:15:51
Speaker
You know, just like, reach through your pockets and scratch your stuff. I mean, common knowledge is pretty limited. And I don't know yeah about you guys, but like I feel like getting air in there is a good way to to stop that, so...
00:16:04
Speaker
I wear boxers, I wear a lot of like baggy sweats. You know, there's air flow in there, it's not getting like swampy in there. You could do that. Just a little fan to blow in there. Yeah, can you imagine you're at fucking Universal Studios and you get an itch and you just buy one of those necklace fans and you just like... The ones with the spritz and you're just... yeah and it's on a hot summer day everybody goes i get it i get it no it makes sense people like fan people oh yeah like a hand fan like so yeah freaking mickey mouse comes out of nowhere
00:16:47
Speaker
let me help you please don't sue us, Disney. Goofy's like, Gors, you're really sch spitzing down there.
00:16:59
Speaker
Like, uh, yeah. Can you, imagine yeah, like the poor man's version is like, if he doesn't have a hand fan, just like ah what I was doing, he just turns, he turns his chin down, just blows down his pants. Oh, yeah.
00:17:13
Speaker
I mean, that's the cure, that's the cure. If have, if you have your shirt tucked in too, you could just kind of like make it into like one long pull on both, make it into like a straw that just goes all that air right down. You go like through here and then down to your groin. Yeah. Get all that air in there.
00:17:30
Speaker
is Or open up the or pull out the pants and then start doing this. get right Yeah, you're grabbing his shirt and pulling it in and out to create like a vacuum, like a fan. um Yeah, and I mean, again, and this is for everybody. This isn't just for people with balls.
00:17:47
Speaker
It's for people with all the things, whatever you've got going on, even if you're a Ken doll down there. The point is, is that, like, you got to scratch it. You just, like, I don't like that there are, like, these weird little rules where, like, I just saw a kid at the grocery store just two days ago, full on hand on the crack of his ass, just going to town. And mom and dad and saying
Humorous Mishaps: Bengay Incident
00:18:09
Speaker
shit.
00:18:10
Speaker
mom Yeah, that one I might have a little problem with, especially if then the kid starts grabbing at groceries. Dude, they're in the fucking produce section. I'm like, well, this is why we wash our stuff when we go home, because there's little little Timmy Scratcher fucking just.
00:18:25
Speaker
This is why I always dip my meat in bleach before I eat it. I dip my meat in bleach to get to stop itching. Don't do that. For legal reasons, I'm going to say this was a joke. Don't do that.
00:18:38
Speaker
Yeah, I did my meat in bleach so the itch goes away. That's how I do it. Yeah, that' exactly. me like i one here's Here's some good advice. If you don't want it to itch down there, don't use Nair. It's true.
00:18:49
Speaker
Don't do that. Do it the old fashioned way. It'll burn. Don't put Bengay. It only gets worse. And listen, here's another pro tip for people who you know have a have a groin, which is everyone. That I know of.
00:19:03
Speaker
If you're wearing shorts especially and you put icy hot or any sort of like muscle relaxant on your legs, be careful of how much room is in your shorts, like the pant leg of your shorts, because those fumes will come up through your pants and cause discomfort in the nether region. I have had that happen. when I put some like Bengay, like, like right around my knee when I injured it, like, but I wore shorts to bed and those fumes just creep up into my pants.
00:19:31
Speaker
Oh my God. It's awful. And what will at first, because it just creeps up on you and you don't know, it felt like a tiny snake just bit my wang. And I was like, ah Oh God, now it's itchy and it burns. i was like, what the fuck?
00:19:47
Speaker
And then like, i was like, Oh my God, this is the same leg that I put the stuff on. no.
00:19:53
Speaker
What's that? That's actually a snake, don't you? Yeah. is That little fish that climbs up your pee hole. Right. Oh, no. Yeah. the The... I think... what think Was it in the Amazon or something? That's giving me dick. I think that's the wingle-fingle fish.
00:20:10
Speaker
All I know is it was in-house. Yeah. Roadhouse. um Roadhouse. Yeah, but I think you have to pee for that thing to work. thank you I think it climbs up- Yeah, was something like that. Yeah, I think it climbs up- Don't pee in rivers, people. You don't know what's going to swim up there. Don't pee in rivers unless you are out of the water.
00:20:27
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, that's fine, then. yeah Don't pee on the third rail. Don't know why pee in rivers. Fish want to swim there. Fish love pee. Yeah, they're fine. They swim in their own shit. fish, they don't love pee.
00:20:41
Speaker
Well, you're not a full-on fish. You don't have gills that I know of. Although those might be coming 2020. I mean, you never looked on my pants. I never looked on your pants, although i've I've seen you in shorts. I haven't seen anything. That's true.
00:20:53
Speaker
Yeah. We've slept in the same bed. We've slept in the same bed. um have a picture of that somewhere. That was the fateful day that i I discovered my new online name, Random Adam. Right. Right.
00:21:08
Speaker
I thought you were about to say that was the day i found out my fetish. That was the day I found the... Young churn man. Yeah. Sleeping with somebody ten years younger than me. That was the day that I found my new groin scratcher. and His name's Smoses. Right. Hey man, everybody needs a job.
00:21:27
Speaker
I call him up and Adrian goes, alright, I'm mailing my hand, and he puts his hand in a mailbox. That's for the first time you've mailed hands before. It's true, we mail hands several times.
00:21:39
Speaker
um But yeah, I think the the long and short this particular answer is just scratch away, dude. Just go for it. Just don't make it into a show. Right. You know? Yeah. Like if you're... Be discreet.
00:21:51
Speaker
Yeah. i think I think in the same rules of like in the men's bathroom where like if you shake it too many times, like you're doing something else. Like, you know, like if you're down there for a good 10 seconds, you're that's probably plenty.
00:22:03
Speaker
If the itch hasn't gone away after that, you have a different problem and you need to go. Yeah. I would say 10 seconds is like the limit. And that's already on the high limit. Yeah, you get you get 10 seconds.
00:22:15
Speaker
Yeah, that's the high limit. That's if you can. Usually for me, it's like a quick just like, oh, where is it? Pinchy, pinchy, pinchy. I'm done. I do the pinch maneuver. You just pinch it.
00:22:26
Speaker
Yeah, Pinscher Maneuver invented by a Robert E. Lee during the German Wars of Madagascar, and like we still use it today. so It's fine. The Geneva Convention did not specify Pinscher Maneuver. Yeah, or the Anime Convention, or the Toy Convention. ah what's the What's the big one? Anthrocon. They are against it. Anthrocon is against it. Gen Con, kind of in the middle. um Yeah, yeah.
00:22:55
Speaker
Gary Gygax and all that. um Okay, next question. We have wait we only hit 23 minutes. We didn't do our 20-minute mark, unfortunately. Oh, look at that. it even What a pity. It even fits.
00:23:08
Speaker
I don't even have to change the window at all. Yeah, I'll be damned. i Holy crap. ah we do Do you want to do the honors of reading the next question, Danny? Oh, sure.
00:23:20
Speaker
So, my friends, for your consideration, I need to know. What is something that was attractive at 18, but is embarrassing at 30? Smosey, for this question, we will pretend you're 30.
00:23:34
Speaker
Why is that? You're closer to 30 than you are 18. Happy
00:23:40
Speaker
so happy birthday! yeah When I was 18? What did you find attractive at 18? Now that you're a bit older, you're like, wow, that's actually really really embarrassing. or no Okay. Yeah.
00:23:53
Speaker
I do have an answer, I think. Oh, you do? I have an answer as well. Well, you got All right, but I'll go last. iin I just thought to think about it. I wouldn't quite say embarrassing, but when I was around 18, I was really into anime, so I found anime goes really attractive.
00:24:12
Speaker
But I did grow out of that. Not that everyone needs to grow out of that, but I grew out of that. Now think to myself, that's not in me anymore. So that's, I guess, what saying for me.
00:24:23
Speaker
When you say anime girls, do you mean like girls on an anime or girls who like are into anime? Girls in anime, not real girls. Real girls are still cool to this day.
00:24:37
Speaker
You know thing about those real girls? You heard here. Real girls are still cool to this day. That's a good, that's a good like t-shirt or a hat to wear. There you go. Real girls are still cool to this day. Real girls are still cool to this day. So shout out to the real girls out there. The real ones. We love you We think you're great. You're still cool. You're still cool.
00:25:02
Speaker
don't want anybody to tell you different. um Right. So like you're saying like, like if you saw like, I'm trying to think about anime girl like um i mean, who's the inner Yasha girl? OK, go May.
00:25:17
Speaker
Kagome. Like you'd be like, I'm really going to be outing myself as a I didn't you watch my Yasha, but yes. OK, so like, okay so you're like, oh, I thought i thought they were hot. Let me think about what girls he he would want to see and in anime. I'm thinking that she was like freezing.
00:25:37
Speaker
Freezing? Freezing. I'm trying to think of the... ah Okay, Free Ren. listen She's pretty cute. I have not because, like I said, I have stopped watching anime like years ago, so I don't really know. Can you watch Cowboy Bebop?
00:25:51
Speaker
i I have watched Cowboy Bebop a bit at CJ's place, but it wasn't really my kind of thing. Okay, i was going to say a lot of people like... Fairytale. But I did watch a certain anime recently called Spy X Family because it's on Netflix. Oh, I love Spy Family.
00:26:07
Speaker
Yeah. That's a fun one. like that. Mel, I watch that one all the time. so so foot That's just like a good, a feel good. Right, right. Yeah. Who was your, who who was an anime girl that you liked when you were 18?
00:26:21
Speaker
Who's an anime girl that I liked when I was 18? When I was 18, I was also into more edgy anime. So but like the main point is more like fan service where you like see like scannily clad anime girls.
00:26:36
Speaker
That's kind of like the whole point of the anime. um And then I watched some like Hyperdimension Neptunia or like High School DxD. Oh, I don't know any of those. Now you see those. I've also watched High School DxD. I can't believe I ever thought that. Again, I've watched it with Umbeluga. Okay. I remember watching one that was...
00:26:57
Speaker
again ive watched it with umbuluga okay i remember watching one that was Find you a girl that likes to watch scantily clad anime girls.
00:27:09
Speaker
Exactly. Then you know she's a keeper. What the fuck is that one called where, like, these different female... They're humanoid, but they're different. They all have powers.
00:27:22
Speaker
Like, they find a master and they essentially battle each other like Pokemon. Magical girls? Maybe, like, the Fates? Oh, the Fates. Yeah, Fate Zero, probably. No, it's not that. There's...
00:27:35
Speaker
I do like the Fates series. There was always one, but there one busty girl, and her top always got ruined. That could be anything. That's all I didn't make. She had to fight every time with one arm over her chest so she didn't show anything, so she's always fighting one arm.
00:27:50
Speaker
No matter ever whatever fight she got in, it was always just her shirt that always got burned. Okay. The girl that had a move called Water Celebration. I can't remember. What was called? What called?
00:28:02
Speaker
Ah, is it Sekiro? No, not Sekiro. Was it Fairy Tail? Sekirei. It's called Sekirei, I think. Sekirei. Hang on. Hang on, look it up. Yes, it's called Sekirei. Okay.
00:28:15
Speaker
Yeah. don't know what it was. Yeah, and they're like... I don't know, there's... He accidentally... He kisses, like, some random... I don't even know how it happens, but I guess, like, kissing is, like, what locks in, like, you as, like, a partnership with these magical women creature people. I don't know what they are, but, like, some top executive dude's like, yes, we're going to do this thing where all these magical girls fight. And it's, like, very kind of one single guy collects a bunch of them, even though they're supposed to kill each other. you know... And then they just kill the... I don't know, it's weird. When you describe...
00:28:47
Speaker
anime just based on like this kind of stuff, I get it. Right. Everyone else, I get it. Yeah. When you describe it like this, I get it. I mean, anime has some great stories, but does also that stuff. There's lot of throughlines of just like, one guy's tougher than everybody else, or all the women are attracted to this one kind of unattractive, goofy dude that otherwise shouldn't be getting all these women. Right. And then there's just the ones that are just really outright, just pervy, and they're there just...
00:29:16
Speaker
i'm got I'm gunslinger girl and I'm going to load my shotgun with my boobs. yeah like Like, it's just, that's what it is. High School DxD. Not High School DxD, School of the Dead. Yeah, I did see High School of the Dead. That was fun.
00:29:29
Speaker
um ah But yeah, that so Age Room was into anime girls. What about you, Danny? ah I would say the attractive at 18 but embarrassing at 30 is like the machismo attitude.
00:29:43
Speaker
Is that machismo was attractive? Not me particularly, but I know younger guys like wanting to fight all the time. you know Being like, if you you know even look at my girl, I'm going to punch you in the face. i'm gonna you know I'll kill you. and ah Getting the show-off-y cars. you know There was always that one kid that in high school, when you could all drive, had like a fancy car or huge truck or something and thought he was hot shit.
00:30:13
Speaker
a lot of, unfortunately, a lot of guys have not grown out of this. Nope. But, yeah, I see, because it's not asking what I think. It's just saying, what's something attractive at 18 but embarrassing at 30?
00:30:27
Speaker
And I think a lot of, you know, guys and girls, to an extent, get into that whole bad boy attitude is very cool, you know, machismo, whatever, like,
00:30:42
Speaker
But then you you grow up, you mature a little bit more and you're like, oh you don't hopefully you're like, wow, that's actually really sad. Or you don't and you... right Not finishing that sentence.
00:30:55
Speaker
Right. It's never something I understood like ever. like No, I was never really a showbodies kind of guy. Or like trying to like... imagine like the view like a woman would have and i'm like like how would anyone like that like i couldn't normally have fights with that well there there was a lot of especially in america um there's a lot of media of women falling for the bad guy or right you know the suave cool dude in a in like a leather jacket comes in and like ruins her relationship with the boring old guy and right
00:31:33
Speaker
you know, shows her a good time and all this stuff. They ride off on motorcycle and whatever. One show, I don't remember remember quite what it was called, and it was, ah there was like some characters in there, they were like early adults or something like that.
00:31:47
Speaker
And there was like this guy and this girl, and they were both kind of like a little awkward. And they were starting to become like a couple. And I'm sitting there thinking to myself, hey, they look like a nice couple.
00:31:58
Speaker
And then like the brother of this guy was like this typical bad boy guy. And like this girl then had like her first time sex with this like bad boy guy And telling like her boyfriend, or you know, he was kind of seemed like a guy i would be good to have your first time with.
00:32:14
Speaker
was like, what the fuck does Serena supposed to mean? Yeah. Yeah. I can fix him. I can now change for him. Yeah. Oh, the I can fix him attitude. Oh my God.
00:32:25
Speaker
No, girl. No. Yeah, it's not your responsibility. Right. Simply not. All right, Adam. We gave you plenty of time to think about it.
00:32:35
Speaker
This one, yeah I thought of one, but like it. I don't know how to like fine tune it, but essentially like. Because I did this and I was attracted to people who did this and there's still part of it that I still have that like, oh, well, they're cool, but like.
00:32:54
Speaker
there's a degree to it where it's not cool. Well, like somebody who is like needlessly and recklessly defiant for sake of just being defiant, you know, like, and I was that guy and I fall into it every now and then we're just like, I'm just, I ask why a lot, but it comes from a place of like, i don't like when someone says that's just what it is. Like, but it doesn't have to be. So like, if you're pushing towards like understanding and trying to make change, but like I've met people now, like who I work with, who,
00:33:24
Speaker
just every step of the way is just has to be a battle. And like, it's just like, it's so exhausting to think like, I was just like, i was oppositional for sake of being oppositional. And it's just like, why did I do that?
00:33:38
Speaker
um It's exhausting. And like, there's times to pick your battles and times to so stand up for people. And like, Say, hey, like this needs to change, you know, and you should because a lot of people are too afraid to speak up about stuff. So you you still should be defiant. It's OK to be a a disruptor, you know, but like chaos for sake of chaos and opposition for sake of opposition is just like not productive. People get hurt.
00:34:06
Speaker
It's more energy expenditure that you need to. And as you get older, you're like, fuck, ain't got time for that. Yeah. What are you talking about? I can't go rage against the machine every day and every night right now. I got shit to do. It's like the difference, but you know, between like somebody who wants to see change and an anarchist who's just right.
Reflection on Youthful Defiance
00:34:25
Speaker
I just want fucking everything to break.
00:34:28
Speaker
Right. It's just like, yeah, just fighting for sake of fighting. Like you were kind of saying it earlier with like the machismo thing. But like, I think to push that a little bit more broad, I think it's just fighting just to fight. yeah You know, like there's just and I have those tendencies to like I still have that kind of childhood trauma response of someone who's like, go do this. I'm like, you better fucking say, please.
00:34:51
Speaker
You know, yeah like i love it like when people tell me to hurry up, I'm like, oh, now it looks like it's going to take longer. Now I can't hurry. Yeah. Right now. God, now I found six other things I have to do. Right. Sucks suck.
00:35:03
Speaker
Right. Manners should still exist even if you have urgency. yeah But also, like if it's Mbeluga telling me to hurry up, yes, honey, you got it. That's why I'll find me ah that's why i'll find me somebody who doesn't do that. like We won't fight all the time and I just – I'm aware of it and I hate that I have it.
00:35:23
Speaker
But like just sometimes I just see it of these just people who – Every step another one that goes along with it is that this is why I was struggling to pick the answer because like there's like two halves to it. We're like the other side. I was like either you're needlessly and recklessly defiant or you're the victim of everything you do. Like you're the victim. Like, oh, I just find any reason to make it about them. Nothing is your fault. Everything is against you. I hate it. Just so exhausting. And like I have a nephew who rides that line, but he's still young. He's 10. He has. oppositional defiant reactive attachment disorder. He's working against a lot of things, but he's also in control of more than he thinks he is.
00:36:03
Speaker
But just nothing is his fault. But I see grown ass adults who still do shit like this. I feel like you see a lot of that on like TikTok. On TikTok, right you see it in our fucking ah presidential administration. Like people who just do not- That couldn't be.
00:36:17
Speaker
No. People who don't really take responsibility. Nothing is their fault. I was just, we were talking before we started about like how airline prices have gone up because Spirit shut down and Spirit was garbage, but they were a competitor that helped keep pricing. They were garbage i was dragging down the prices of everybody else. And so like now people are going to be like- why I just don't understand. People are traveling less and we have less tourism. God, people just need to work harder to afford our tickets. They're fair. You know, just like people who just can't just accept that we fucked up. I did, you know, poor me. We're suffering. We're we're so rich.
00:36:50
Speaker
Or even on the on a more relatable scale, like there are people who like just... whatever their trauma response is, there's a line between like, I get it, but also like fucking do something. You know, we're like, I understand you have problems, but like, you can't just be like, well, poor me.
00:37:06
Speaker
I get an experience off my chest? Please. Sure. especially when it comes to this show, I really try to avoid politics. All right. But look, I'm going to get me right now.
00:37:18
Speaker
At least Adam and i you know, we live in America. We're lefty. Shocker. I know.
00:37:27
Speaker
i would I'm not going to name any names. I assume Smosis is lefty compared to... like i' not to name any names. But I was with two other people at one point.
00:37:42
Speaker
And one of them, they were both ah from the other side of the aisle. One of them said... You know, there was a story the other day about somebody who even with insurance, their thing was like $5,000. Oh, it's terrible. We need to, you know, they need to get rid of insurance companies. And I'm like,
00:38:04
Speaker
okay i'm with you so far that you know that sounds pretty i'm thinking to myself like okay that sounds good the other guy goes uh i know what you mean they're just like stealing from us what we need to do is we need to get rid of all the democrats so we can get rid of them i'm like bitch what are you saying which side do you think has been trying to get rid of them which side wants nationalized health care that doesn't require insurance Right. But that's kind of what I'm saying is like this doesn't fall into It's not that I found that attractive, I should say, like, so because I remember what the question was.
00:38:39
Speaker
It's just like and attractive in a way that like you just kind of it's a thing that you do. Like, you know, you you're attracted to necessarily sexual attraction. It could be I want to be like this kind of attract or that that's just what I fall into. Emulation. a normal Yeah, that's a normal thing to do as an 18 year old. Like, ah, the world is so hard. Rebellious phase.
00:39:00
Speaker
You know, right you're figuring out who you are. It makes sense for you to kind of rebel against the norms to see where you fit in that, that paradigm. But like, as you get older and you realize like, okay, here's the limits, here's what's socially acceptable and why.
00:39:15
Speaker
And just like the energy required to keep up with fighting everything all the time. Right. You start to realize like, ah you know, that's why they have, what's it called? The blunder years. Or like you look at your high school pictures where you At least if you're me, you have straight hair covering your face and you're like, oh, God.
00:39:37
Speaker
It's not uncommon to look back at your old self and be like, what the fuck was I doing? Right. Adam, you're a robot. Oh, no. Am I a robot in the game, too? Oh, no. Smosey's fine. It's just Adam. It's got to be you.
00:39:55
Speaker
Smosey's still human. I don't know. no. You have to show my technology. Oh, man. There you go. No, you're back. okay You know what else I actually have for this one?
00:40:08
Speaker
Based on what we're doing right now? Always having to be perfect. Never being the fool.
00:40:18
Speaker
When you're 18, you need everybody to think you're hot shit. you know you never If somebody calls you out for something, it's like this huge thing. But then by the time you're 30 and you've matured a bit,
00:40:29
Speaker
And you're like, who actually gives a crap? You do things like starting a podcast with your friend and and other friends where you just like talk about scratching your groin and shit and like. And nobody cares cares. Yeah. Yeah. Who cares? Realizing that nobody really cares is huge.
00:40:46
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. You know, and if you... if you want to fight the system, scratch your groin in public. But just, you know... Exactly. I don't know. but Just don't ask somebody to smell your finger after. Yeah.
00:41:01
Speaker
Ask somebody to scratch your groin. Yeah, there you go. True friends scratch each other's groins. Ask a real girl. You heard it from these two. They will do that for each other. Ask a real girl to do it. They're still cool.
00:41:13
Speaker
They're still cool.
00:41:17
Speaker
Your AI girlfriend will not do it. I'm sorry. No. Your AI girlfriend cannot scratch your groin for you. It's not going happen. Not yet. It's one-pound side, yeah. I'm sure somebody will eventually come out with like, oh, here's the arm attachment that can do it, but right now... Wouldn't be surprised. You know guys are going to snap their wangs if that happens.
00:41:37
Speaker
They're going to like... They're going to overestimate how hard they get and just snap it like a cucumber, brother. Most likely, yeah. Yeah. um But yeah, all that to all that to say that, yeah I still find that kind of thing attractive, but like when it's targeted, like where it's just like, you know what, I'm going to help my colleagues unionize. It's like yeah, but oh, you're so hot. you know you know Because at that point, you're not fighting the system for the sake of fighting the system. You're fighting it to help people or- Right, right. You have target. for either side. it's for what you believe in. It's not just like,
00:42:12
Speaker
well, fuck the man keeping us down, you know? Right. But also, fuck the man for keeping us down. But, like, you're doing something about it. Like, yeah the thing is, like, some people rebel in a way that's not productive.
Rebel Without a Cause
00:42:24
Speaker
They just, like, they think rebellion is, like, not putting their shopping carts back. Because, like, that's not helping. That's not hurting the man. That's hurting people who work for man. actually don't what's saying Yeah, I don't. I hate those. Like they think all the driving recklessly on the road is fighting the system. Like, no, you're creating a hostile environment for everyone else. It's not cool to be a rebel without a cause.
00:42:44
Speaker
It's ah it' so not the distilled. I know there's like that edgy side of you that's like, oh, yeah, you know, I'm a rebel without a cause. No, that's all. Yeah, just an asshole.
00:42:57
Speaker
yeah just an asshole Yeah, you're just an you're just a dick. And you know what? You're a piece of shit is what you're being. yeah o and Don't even get me started on what you should do this year. well do you know Do you know about this?
00:43:13
Speaker
I know about this. don't you know us You know our take our tagline? Don't be a piece of shit. Try not to be a piece of shit. Try not to be a piece of shit, yeah. Just try so hard. A rebel without a cause equals a piece of shit this year. Right.
00:43:29
Speaker
but Even if we agree with some of the things you're rebelling against, that doesn't make us friends. you like If you're just causing fires for sake of fires without thinking about how it's going to affect anyone else, like it doesn't matter what your intentions are at that point. You burn down everyone else's home because you thought there might be one creep that lives there. like it just That's not yeah how it works. It just hurts more people than it does.
00:43:52
Speaker
Yeah, you can't hurt the common man in order to scratch the elite and be like, I helped. Yeah, that doesn't. Yeah. When you it's the same as like when generals and presidents and kings send poor people to war to fight a battle they have no fucking stake in. Like if you're out there just being like, oh, I don't care about the casualties as long as I get the result I want. That doesn't make you any better. It makes you know better. And it will just makes things worse for everyone else. So that's, I think, what I was trying to get at. It's like there's a way to do it in a way that I think is still very attractive and very cool. and honorable and admirable, but then there's a way to do it where it's just like, you're a piece of shit. You're just being awful. You're just being absolutely shitty and just quit it.
00:44:36
Speaker
um Just grow the fuck up. And coming from me, you should feel bad that I'm telling you to grow the fuck up. God damn, dude. um but Adrian, any final thoughts? and You were stuck talking about like being like perfect and like not being able to like make mistakes and stuff like that. But I think it's still good if like people try to just like improve themselves. like If you like oh yeah do exercises, really healthy and stuff like that.
00:45:03
Speaker
If you kind of want to do that, then that's, I think, still like attractive. like That's just being good. But like if you like fault everyone for not being the same way, then that's also like very unattractive.
00:45:14
Speaker
Right. I agree with that. Yep. Absolutely. And i think I think seeing your own flaws and being able to accept them is a huge part of growing. Right.
Self-Improvement and Maturity
00:45:21
Speaker
How are you supposed to fix something if you won't acknowledge it's broken? Mm-hmm.
00:45:26
Speaker
Yeah, but there's also people who there's also people who make excuses for that, you know, where they're like, right, exactly. You know, well, I didn't go exercise today because someone cut me off and pissed me off on my way home.
00:45:39
Speaker
It's like, all right, well, cool. I mean, it's fine. Like you can just say I didn't feel like exercising, but you're mad. So then you decide not to exercise this month. Yeah. You know, like it's not everyone else. Oh, God. Yeah. You know, you decided to scratch your groin three times this month instead of... And you're exhausted.
00:45:56
Speaker
Man, oh, God. One, two, four. Do I do it? I'm so tired. Oh, God. I did my my three allotted, but like it's still itchy.
00:46:09
Speaker
Right. Yeah. fuck can i tell you Can I tell you something I used to do? i still do it every now and then, if I'm being totally honest. But if I feel a niche right in the B-hole, right down Main Street, like I'll find the corner of a desk or a table. Yep. I'm going to be watching you like a hawk the next time you come over.
00:46:32
Speaker
If I can find anything that looks like it'll kind of fit the semi-sharp, but not going to like rip my asshole open further. like Something that has edges, I'm just like, oh, I'm just kind of like, yeah, okay, that's better.
00:46:47
Speaker
You're kind of like, you're kind of wizard there, and then suddenly he's like a siren, and then you know, okay, he ripped his ass off. You have to put on this chastity belt that's like made of metal, and nothing can get there.
00:46:59
Speaker
Yeah, my ah my my my brown eye has become a red eye, and I'm sorry. You go to the bathroom, you say like, excuse me, i just, I gotta to go to the bathroom, or whatever. You pull out your secret special scrub daddy.
00:47:13
Speaker
You got to keep it all up in there. You know, if you put them in your shoe as like extra cushion for your the sole of your shoe. Good way to hide that. Yeah. Then you still have it for when you need it. You know, they get out of your shoe.
00:47:27
Speaker
Or better yet, just like, you know, they have the holes for the eyes and the mouth. If you're a guy. Just slip it on, and now it's there. It can be scratching every time you take a step. Yeah.
00:47:38
Speaker
I mean, there's there's ways to get creative. you know of course there's to there's Daddy loves being at your groin. Yeah. so
00:47:48
Speaker
Then there's the groin buffer 5000 from Germany. What about mommy? There is a scrub mommy. Is there mommy? Is there? Yeah. The scrub mommy is the... Is it the same thing but pink?
00:48:00
Speaker
it's this it's It's a different... I just saw those two. One of them is more like a traditional like rougher sponge and the other ones. Scrub Daddy is kind of like one step below steel wall.
00:48:15
Speaker
like it's It's a really coarse sponge. Hang on, I'm going to search it. But it has a happy face etched into it. That makes it so much better, to be honest. honest Yeah, it's so good. it's not Scrub Mommy versus Scrub Daddy. Scrub Mommy is like an angry face. Oh, the Scrub Mommy has two. It's it's just it's soft on one, rough on the other. And then Scrub Daddy is just rough all over. Rough all over. now So you might want to get the Scrub Mommy, so you put the soft end on first and then...
00:48:43
Speaker
rough end. Then you go off the hard end. Right, right. Or the other way around. Work your way up to it Well, it's fine if you just use the scrub daddy. It's going to hurt at first, but you'll get calluses. Right, but you know what? We have people who don't have schlongs. We have people who don't have schlongs who watch this and listen to this show, so we have to be inclusive. Yeah,
00:49:05
Speaker
I don't know what to do in that situation. Velcro. One of those things called a um ah Command strips in your eyes.
00:49:17
Speaker
And so you put both ends together so the Velcro is hidden. And then when you need it, you take the you remove the other Velcro piece. So that way it's just Velcro left.
00:49:28
Speaker
Not even Velcro. It's like a. You know, it's like the little plasticky things that like fla together to make sure you got the sharp end on your legs to give you the scratch, because if you have the the softer end, you're just going to make things even itchier. Right, right, right. So that's how everyone can do it. Like, yeah regardless of gender, put that stuff on your legs or in your undies, you know, or if you want.
00:49:49
Speaker
I just thought of another answer. If you want like a good socially acceptable reason to scratch in there. Just go outside, grab a whole bunch of poison ivy leaves, and just get rubbing.
00:50:01
Speaker
No one will judge you. Nobody will judge you if you have to scratch afterwards. Nope. That makes sense, yeah. Yeah. yeah Or get like a cool stick, especially like a bouncy stick.
00:50:13
Speaker
You know? Shove that up your pant leg or down. um um um Adrian, you know a thing or two about bouncy sticks. Right. There's an Instagram account called Official Stick Reviews. So all you need to do is pull up your phone, grab a stick, pretend that you're following for this channel, and just put it in your pants to scratch. Oh, that's a stellar idea, Adrian. It's a great idea. You're filming content.
00:50:35
Speaker
Oh, I didn't realize stick met in my pants. Oh, sorry. I didn't realize just how big and... Good feeling the stick was. I was trying to film it. I feel the whole stick in the and you put it down there.
00:50:49
Speaker
Yeah. ah You know, and I think... Or or you can get said stick... The stick like six inches. Like a curvy one that's almost like whip shape. You put it down, like yeah almost like you're a ninja turtle. like you know You put it down the back of your shirt, down on the back of your pants, comes down through where the B.A. is. Like fucking drain snake. Yeah, and then you just like...
00:51:12
Speaker
ah ah You know, you kind of pull it like lawnmower. Now you're just flossing. Right. You kind of, ah-ha. Especially pop into balls. whatever Whatever, your groin in general can go along. It can be your groin, your taint, your beehole all at once.
00:51:29
Speaker
You pull it out like you're starting a lawnmower, like, know? You can sell those.
00:51:38
Speaker
Oh, but what I'm saying is, though, you have to go out prepared like you have to you know, you have to know that you get itchy down there. Otherwise, you know, any of these other solutions we proposed are good.
00:51:51
Speaker
Oh, um so what do I find? I guess baby powder. Baby powder is actually really good. If you want like an actual answer, you could throw some baby powder in there. baby a baby Baby powder causes shrinkage. That's why it's called baby powder. so like You have to be okay with that. You have be okay with some potential shrinkage or tightening down there. take some steroids so that you know the the balls to to penis ratio don't get messed up.
00:52:14
Speaker
And if you don't have balls to penis, then you know like again, it could cause some tightness or some... like discomfort, itchiness. um You know what else works?
00:52:28
Speaker
Ghost, pepper, ah hot sauce. On your balls? Anywhere in the groin. um' not This is for anybody who is human. The itching will be the like least of your problems, agree. You won't think about itching at all. That's fair.
00:52:45
Speaker
Or finally, if you don't want to put anything in the region, cause discomfort somewhere else, then you won't think about it. I was about to say that too. You only feel like the worst pain.
00:52:58
Speaker
It's the same thing with itching. Like you, whatever's most uncomfortable for you is what you're going to feel over everything else. So if you're itchy in the pants, make yourself inflamed elsewhere.
00:53:10
Speaker
Ghost pepper is in the mouth. lane Ghost pepper is a wild word to use. Ghost pepper's in your eyes. Get ghost pepper powder and just knuckle deep. Yeah. Right. Snort it right off of... think Yeah. so are we pronoun bottom ah promise me I promise you won't think about having an itchy groin ever again. um You'll have other problems.
00:53:33
Speaker
um I learned that from that with some side effects. Yeah, it does. It does. You know, but what remedy doesn't, you know? I know, dude. All of them.
00:53:46
Speaker
It's always fantastic to me when I'm watching a commercial and they're like, take this pill in order to, like, get rid of gas and bloating. Side effects include diarrhea bad enough it might kill you. Dehydration. Seizures. Like... I think I'll just live with feeling like Gassi for a bit. Oh, my God.
00:54:10
Speaker
i was just at a toy convention recently, and this guy makes these like. He kind of repurposes old action figures and kind of gives them new names and stuff, and he made one called Uzempic, and it's like this ooze monster, and it says side effects may include There's so many on here, so I'm not going to read them all.
00:54:33
Speaker
But one of them is Finkleheaps, Reptile Dysfunction, New Genes. That's a K-pop group. Dingleberries, More Than One Donkey. dingleberries, no.
00:54:50
Speaker
There's so much in here. Daddy Issues, Zipper Dick, Coffin Flops, Chummy Leons, and much, much more. Oh my god. And like, that's what I hear when those like all a sudden guy goes, side effects may include. but a little but Right there. Okay. Yeah.
00:55:08
Speaker
Okay. Maybe I don't want to take. oze Maybe I'm good. Yeah. Maybe I don't. Maybe I'm fine to just do a couple extra sit ups before I take a look, Ryan. I can, I can tell you from experience that those side effects can be awful.
00:55:21
Speaker
Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so yeah, I think, I think we've handily answered both questions.
Attraction and Emotional Maturity
00:55:29
Speaker
Um, Adrian, before we wrap up, I would just like for you to tell us what is something that you find attractive now at 27 that you didn't find attractive?
00:55:40
Speaker
You know, that you thought you found attractive at 18. Attractive now. What's attractive to you? ah Um, what do y'all think? Jived up.
00:55:51
Speaker
I guess we're coming back to like the perfectionism. Not really being perfect, but like striving to become a better person. That I do find a time for. Self-improvement. Right.
00:56:02
Speaker
Good for you. Self-improvement is very ran sexy. Right. Yeah. Good job, 27-year-old Adrian. Good job, me. Look at this again when you're 30 and tell us what you think. Danny, at what do you find? the attractive Thanks, man. the grace.
00:56:26
Speaker
what do i find it attractive at thirty i Plus eight. You're 30. No, plus six. Plus seven. No, I said I was saying 27 plus. You're 35 or 36? I am 36. Okay, so it would be 27 plus nine. Nine.
00:56:47
Speaker
I was hoping you wouldn't catch that.
00:56:52
Speaker
ah Oh, man. That's a... it's like I have to say probably the um Not being afraid to to look like a fool is probably the biggest one. Right. That was good answer. You're to laugh at yourself or to just another. Yeah. Another great example was um we watched Pagemaster. i don't know if you guys saw that. Yep.
00:57:14
Speaker
The old movie. I used to watch that all the time as a kid. So Mbeluga had a field day because when we watched that, the whole movie, I was like, I remember that one. I remember that book.
00:57:27
Speaker
That's the pirate book. Or we had ice cream and Mbeluga laughed at me because I've never used an ice cream cone. I always got milkshakes. You're removing my mind. Yeah. So me and Mbeluga got ice cream and, you know, she's just eating the ice cream and I've got chocolate all down my arm. I'm like, how the hell do you do this?
00:57:50
Speaker
Right. Finding joy in those moments instead of being like, butthurt about it because you looked like a silly fool. Right. that's how you live a happy life yeah just be who cares she finds it adorable a i would too yeah it's adorable even i have to say it was adorable eating ice cream is hard dude just get a milkshake my gosh milkshake that's tasty though yeah that's a real man's yeah i do love milkshakes well i always had very sensitive teeth so i couldn't eat same cream
00:58:29
Speaker
Yeah, now you sense a dime. It's like still hurts a little bit, but I could do it. I'll still get the milkshake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. don't know how you add like. My- what am I- I'm a ass. At thirty-eight?
00:58:44
Speaker
No, seven? At thirty-seven, I'm nice asses. cost seven Nice ass! Ooh. Ooh. Fucking ooh. With some legs attached to it? Oh oh shit! you know Wait, wait, you want an ass with legs? With legs. How many legs?
00:59:01
Speaker
At least one. If two. At one! I'm not doing it frankly. I'm cool with it. You heard it here, folks. First, Adam hates double amputees.
00:59:13
Speaker
Right. No, I said at least. I mean, mean, it depends. I mean, the ass is still there, but like if there's an ass there, but like, you know, only because like I'm an active guy, but like, you um but now um I think it's something that like I didn't realize was so important to me, especially.
00:59:32
Speaker
And this isn't even just in the opposite gender or like whatever you're attracted to romantically. This is just like people in general. It's like you got to be fucking a silly goose. You got to be funny.
00:59:43
Speaker
Like you have to be like it's not even so much being able to look like a fool, but that's part of it. But just like you're full. You just like humor. You have to be funny. You have to be able on to laugh at yourself. laugh at, you know, what's going on, laugh at a situation, come up with jokes quickly, be witty.
00:59:58
Speaker
Like, those are all things that just like get you through like tough times or even just make a ah better nice time better. um So like, I'm just like, man, that person's really at That's another thing that's, you know, something attractive at 18 is like purely looks.
01:00:14
Speaker
It's very, you know, when you're going out with girls in high school and stuff, it's very shallow. It's very It's very much who you find attractive. But when you hit like 30, it becomes a lot more about and what can you emotionally bring to the table? Yeah, like what how do we click emotionally? Do you make me laugh?
01:00:33
Speaker
Do I make you laugh? To the point where like looks get your foot in the door, sure. I'm not going to say they're completely unnecessary.
01:00:45
Speaker
But it is so much more than that. you know, when you're dating somebody and looking for something more real. Yeah, I don't think I'd have been and I would have been able to date any of the beautiful people I've dated if they I'm like, I don't think I'm an ugly dude, but I definitely feel like there are people who are hotter than I am. And I've gotten some people who like, man, you are fucking out of my league, dog. So like, you know, and almost always they're just like, you're really fucking funny, man.
01:01:12
Speaker
And I actually also learning to just like cut shit out of your life that's dragging you down oh yeah like negative finally getting to that point where i was like you know what i haven't talked to this person in like five months they haven't talked to me and every time we do i do try and like initiate a conversation it just ends up with me being angry fuck it i don't need them fucker yeah fuck them but not like the sexy way just the bad way the bad way
01:01:44
Speaker
yeah That's very freeing when you finally are like, you know what I'm just going to dump everything that I don't like. that You realize like I don't need to keep friendships alive if they're not working for me. It's a two-way street. It ain't working.
01:01:59
Speaker
Sorry, bud, but you got to go. needed to learn that in my early 20s. You what? also needed to learn that lesson in my early 20s. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:02:11
Speaker
can i Can I tell you guys one last thing that I find attractive? No. At 37? You guys. I find you pretty attractive as well. Adrian and Danny are two hotties with a body that get real naughty.
01:02:27
Speaker
And you don't even know if I'm wearing pants. I don't know. and i I'm definitely not. And here's the thing. Whether you are or whether you aren't, I'm still in there like swimwear, baby. Yeah. I mean, if I'm not, you can't because there's nothing to be in.
01:02:40
Speaker
I'm ready to- there's Oh, there's something to be already. There's definitely a prison pocket to go into. There are places to go. I'll be like that fish in the Amazon. you It's very tiny. I can fit anywhere. Yeah. i can You would be surprised. I'm like a straw cleaner, baby. You know what felt really good was finally ah this interview I had yesterday was the first interview I ever had remote.
01:03:03
Speaker
And I absolutely did. Yes, I absolutely did the stereotypical. I had on like a button time shirt and everything. Yeah. But I was wearing like sweats and just barefoot underneath. Like I could get used to that. That was fine. I think most people do it that. Yeah.
01:03:21
Speaker
Can you imagine if someone's like, hey, let's see the whole fit. Can you stand up for a second? Well, did you see there was a there was a video of somebody doing a ah an interview call laying down?
01:03:33
Speaker
Okay. No, I didn't see that. did you You didn't see that one? I guess it was like trying to block whatever's behind him or whatever, but he was doing the whole thing laying down pretending he was still sitting up.
01:03:44
Speaker
And he went to take a drink of water and it didn't work the way you would expect it to because he's laying down. So the interviewer's like, are you are you laying down? Can you take another drink of water right now? And the guy's just like... That's hilarious.
01:04:03
Speaker
Honestly, like where I'm working, if they said, hey, let's see your whole fit, that would have like, cool, man. yeah I like it. Hey, where'd you get that shirt that says blue? yeah right Yeah, honestly. um Speaking of which, go to the Fun Installer Network Etsy store.
01:04:18
Speaker
If you want was about to go to the Snowflake Corium Etsy store. Yeah. And go to the Smoses Smoses Emporium Etsy store. There's no one else on there named Smoses. You'll find it. That's Moses with an S at the beginning and at the end.
01:04:30
Speaker
um Not Moses or Moe's. And if you like my voice, I'm on Fiverr. He's on Fiverr. I guarantee I'll say things for you.
01:04:41
Speaker
He'll say things. I'll do it in funny voices. I'll do it in regular voices. I don't care. That's true. um We got to put those things on our website. I've been lazy. I'll do it eventually. Look at us. We're also like, and you know, entrepreneurial.
01:04:56
Speaker
We are also entrepreneurial. That's what makes us attractive at 30. Yeah. Right. Yeah. No, my finances are definitely. Everything is going so swimmingly. would you Would you like to pay for our dinner?
01:05:10
Speaker
um Yeah, go ahead. Danny, go ahead and you know say the nice things that you say to the people and to Adrian, of course. You got it, Robot Adam. I still understood what you said. So thank you all so very much for watching and listening. We really do appreciate you. It is.
01:05:27
Speaker
Thank you. It is a dream come true every time. to do this. That's why I say it every time, even if you're sick of hearing it too bad. i going to say it anyway.
01:05:37
Speaker
Smosis, thank you so very much for joining us today. I'm glad we were able to just kind of swing this real quick. This was awesome. Always great to have you around. Always great to have you on the show.
01:05:50
Speaker
Check out findsellersnetwork.biz Smosis Emporium uh don't be a piece of shit this year just don't just right just don't do it adrianne adrian adrian can you teach us how to say try not to be a piece of shit this year in german of course i'm surprised we got that far trihenric sh sit yeah know then i'm surprised we got that far ah Did you say scheisse? Sei kein stück scheisse dieses Jahr.
01:06:24
Speaker
Sei hentuk scheisse. Nope. No, sorry. Can I do it? Right. You didn't probably. Sei hentuk scheisse? Yeah. Sei hentuk scheisse?
01:06:35
Speaker
Right, I know scheisse is shit. All right, well, you know what? We're to sign off with Adrian saying it. So Adrian, loud and loud. Tell everybody to try not to be a piece of shit this year.
01:06:47
Speaker
Everybody... Say kein Stück scheiße dieses Jahr. What he said. Exactly.