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Gaslight Your Junk
17 Plays21 days ago
How can we make ourselves less aroused and craving more porn and sexual activity? well, you just gaslight your junk!
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Transcript
Podcast Kickoff & Banter
00:00:00
Speaker
A recording is on. Now let's see if the stream doesn't crash. boy. 87. 87. Don't Kevin. Don't heaven. too easy. Don't ask Kevin. 87.
00:00:15
Speaker
um don't ask kevin don don't say haven that's too easy don't ask kevin eighty seven So what rhymes with seven aside from 11 and Kevin and have 11 Kevin heaven.
00:00:36
Speaker
Real. Devin. Relevant.
00:00:49
Speaker
don't know. I can't think of any other words that rhyme with seven. All right, that's fine. Don't ask Kevin. Yeah, it was. Don't ask Kevin. Don't ask that.
00:01:02
Speaker
Screw that guy. Screw the area. Perfect. I was going to make like a Kevin can wait thing, but i was like, oh, no. Eighty seven.
00:01:16
Speaker
Oh, it's crazy. I can't. know Anyway, good. And I can't say the greeting yet. No, don't do the greeting yet. We're not ready yet.
Therapy & Work Preferences Discussion
00:01:26
Speaker
fuck well hey listeners i just want to say yeah sorry you're listening to us get set up i really had to wait because there was a lot of issues and so we've been here for like 22 and a half minutes just really trying to crank out this whole stream thing it gets complicated sometimes um but i want you all to know that um
00:01:49
Speaker
You know, I recently changed therapist providers and it's the same therapist, but with a different provider. Oh, yeah.
00:02:02
Speaker
Apparently, my old one is closing down and everybody transferred and then one person transferred to a place that uses the same portal as them. So, you know, there's ways to continue. You know, therapy is great when you don't have to leave your house.
00:02:14
Speaker
I love it. It's wonderful. But don't use better help. That's how I feel about working, too. Oh, I I'm I prefer I'm a very much ah I'd rather go in, but like have the flexibility if I need to stay home kind of guy.
00:02:29
Speaker
Yeah. Rather than stay home and like dread being called in. I never get anything done. I'm fine with it. I would never get anything done, but you're starting new job. You can't do your job from home.
00:02:43
Speaker
No, that's why it's not going to be my permanent job. Probably. I shouldn't say that on this. Why is that so important to work from home? and's I'm just a homebody, man. That's what I like.
00:02:55
Speaker
yeah I love the freedom it gives me. I concentrate so much better when there's not noise all around me. But but you' there's going to be a lot more activity for you, right? It's not just. Yeah, this is like.
00:03:07
Speaker
bit more physical this yeah couldn't be done so but it's also not my kind of job i i like to put in perspective the other job i had a chance at would have been just keying numbers in at home all day and my plan was to do that with my lap my personal laptop next to me just playing like youtube videos and music and stuff and just chilling for eight hours a day just, you know, typing away on stuff while I watch YouTube or look at my phone or whatever, you know, still pay attention to what I'm doing. But.
00:03:43
Speaker
I just I'm much more relaxed at home. Can't you just put on some headphones and then do your job at work? I don't know. I'll tell you after my first day. Yeah. t Well, take it. Take some earbuds with you just in case if they're like, all right, we're going to give you some.
00:03:58
Speaker
You know, fly around time, you know, get acquainted as it is, I'm already ah dressing up more than some people there because when I went for an interview i saw the gambit from like suits down to sweats and i I asked my new manager what I have to wear and he said business casual so I'm like dang it no sweats at work no you look good in business cash oh I look great yeah nice but it also means I have to dress up
00:04:34
Speaker
I mean, look, man, I like my sweats and T-shirt look. What can I say? Yeah, like dress dress up is up from sweats. Like you're not actually like wearing a full suit and you know, I know.
Official Start & Syllable Debate
00:04:47
Speaker
Do we want to go live live? We're on the screen. I thought I was going to go ahead. Do it. All right.
00:04:55
Speaker
Goodness, here we are. Here we are. We're we're finally. Oh, God, have the question. I have the question. I love. OK, there we go. We're good. What the fuck did just say? I had the question shoving.
00:05:09
Speaker
ah
00:05:12
Speaker
We just said maybe we should hide the question until we're actually ready to answer it. I didn't know which one they were picking. The first thing I did will show the question. Okay, so we're going to do this one. Okay.
00:05:23
Speaker
We can use those other ones for other questions because I think they're also good. Yeah, we'll we'll keep it down to like a modest 30 to 40 minutes today, I think. We'll give it a try. yeah You know what?
00:05:35
Speaker
It'll be fine. um But anyway, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening. Ladies, gentlemen, non-binary folks of universes known and unknown, this is, that's our Q, our TOQ for short? It's the same amount of syllables, I guess.
00:05:49
Speaker
TOQ. TOQ is for short. No, because technically that would be two syllables. No, it's two words combined into one, but it's one syllable.
00:06:01
Speaker
No, it's not because two so two consonants next to each other splits a syllable. So it'd be that. I'm sorry. That did you just say our cue? Yes. If you have two consonants together, that's what the syllable you think that is do syllable. Or is it?
00:06:18
Speaker
that That's one. That's no, you're right. like Can we start over I don't sound like an idiot? ah You know, though, i definitely can hear an argument for the word our, though, because it's three letters or even four at a time. And is I honestly couldn't tell you the truthfully. Is it our or is it our like how tire technically could just be one syllable, say tire, but tiger we to act as if there's a Y in that word. Yeah. Or like adding an art of forward.
00:06:57
Speaker
Right, exactly. Yeah. People do weird things with with words. Is our two... so Now I'm questioning my own grasp on the English language. The word our can have one or two syllables depending on your dialect and how quickly you are speaking.
00:07:11
Speaker
So that didn't fucking help. It's either. doesn't. Yeah, okay. So it could be whatever. Good. Dictionaries typically list it as a one-syllable word. Okay. i would I would say, like... By the rules of how syllables work, it would be a one syllable word. Yeah, I usually pronounce it more so regularly anyway, like the A like A-R-E. But oh, you are like, that's our cue.
00:07:35
Speaker
But like, I definitely see a like a whereas i I actually say it more our that's our well no, I guess I don't. That's our never mind. You know, bad. Oh, man, it's going to be one of those days. How many syllables is Q? Look, i just that I just went to have dinner at my in-laws. right It was a very nice day. We ate outside.
00:08:03
Speaker
My brain is shut off. I'm tired. like i was so relaxed. It was so nice. Sorry. No, it's fine. Now you're putting me on the spot and asking me all these really hard questions like syllables.
00:08:20
Speaker
Syllables. Three. Three. Yeah. Sorry, gang. There's an S at the end. It's four. syllab Shut up. but I'm sorry. You know, why don't we jump right into the question today? Like, just look like, get in there. Oh, we don't have one. oh I don't see anything there. I know.
00:08:40
Speaker
We're actually answering the question early. Biddy, bibbidi, bobbidi, boo. Also, Hitch sends their regards there. I want you to show yourself. Bam! They are in the middle of the woods with a friend right now, hiking. So they send them regards. Oh, that's cool. Have fun, Hitch. Yeah.
00:08:56
Speaker
um So is the question ready? Do you want to question is ready? OK, I must be on a little bit more of a delay. I don't see it anyway. But anyway, listeners, here we
Listener's Question on Porn Addiction
00:09:06
Speaker
go. We have it now.
00:09:07
Speaker
So the question is from the No Stupid Questions Reddit from Discipline53, which is kind of ironic considering the question. um I was thinking that. too So they say, how can I stop watching porn?
00:09:20
Speaker
It's been almost two weeks and my mind keeps telling me to watch it. What should I do? Help me. So quick and easy question. Danny, do you have thoughts on this one? Do you need to let it marinate? my my first thought is it's just one of those things where you have to rewire your brain.
00:09:43
Speaker
If I'm assuming this person watches a lot of porn to get to this point in two weeks. Well, Or have to watch a lot in order for two weeks to be such a long break that it's all they can think about.
00:09:58
Speaker
oh Oh, I misunderstood. i thought it was like I've been watching for porn for two weeks and I can't help keep watching it. But you're saying it's been two weeks since I've watched it and I'm having trouble not watching it.
00:10:09
Speaker
How can I stop watching porn? It's been almost two weeks and my mind keeps telling me to watch it. Are we thinking it's more so... I thought it was they they haven't watched any for two weeks and now they're like their brain is craving.
00:10:22
Speaker
Oh, maybe you might be right. Maybe that's what it is. All right. Let's just go off. Let's go off with it's been two weeks. OK. OK. So it's been two weeks since they watched it, which means they're already doing a fairly good job.
00:10:34
Speaker
Right. ah It's not even November. So that's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like it's just one of those things where you have to rewire your brain. You just can't give in. You have to.
00:10:46
Speaker
Break the habit. You know, if not watching porn for two weeks is this hard for you, you've built quite the habit of watching it. Sure. Which in which case kind of like, you know, eating with sugar and all of that, you need to cut it out ah or at least greatly reduce it to the point where your body is no longer so used to it.
00:11:12
Speaker
ah finding something else to pass the time would be ah very helpful, you know, maybe, and staying away from things that would remind you of porn. So like, I hate to say it, but probably can't play many video games with like overly sexualized characters, things like that could be a problem watching, you know, TV shows with same thing, overly sexualized characters and and stuff.
00:11:39
Speaker
Maybe find a good book that isn't, super romantic and you know kind of smutty and stuff like that uh read the bible read read the bible it's famous for not wanting people to watch porn it's i think it's in like the first couple of pages yeah i'm pretty sure that that's like rule number one no porn yeah it was like in the beginning there was porn but god said hey don't
00:12:09
Speaker
You doubt shalt not choke thy chicken. Yeah. Thine chicken. Yeah. Shout trade to thine chickens or now daughter. um Yeah, I would say the biggest thing that would be just find something to help fill that void.
00:12:26
Speaker
And anytime you find yourself not that void. no Anytime you find yourself really craving porn, just be like, all right, I really like, you know, I really want to watch porn. I'm going to go out and go for a walk.
00:12:43
Speaker
You know, something to help take your mind off of it that you force yourself to do whenever you're having a real rough moment. Yeah. Eventually your brain will rewire. And instead of constantly wanting to watch porn, you'll kind of Pavlov yourself into wanting to go for walks.
00:13:01
Speaker
I mean, that's a good way to like mind fuck yourself. I love motherfucking myself. No, no, don't do that. Avoid words like void and words like avoid that had the word void in it.
00:13:15
Speaker
just don't so use words at set Just don't use words. use words. Yeah, just be mute for a month. Take a vow of silence. And you'll be good. Yeah. I think that's it.
00:13:26
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. All right, everybody, thank you. has been a dream come true. Yeah, I'd recommend ah grabbing... You know, we we mentioned last episode or episode before last like Velcro in your underwear. You know, it's like scratch.
00:13:43
Speaker
But instead, like put it in a place where like if you get aroused, regardless of your gender, put it in a place where like if simulation is happening, you go, oh, wow, that hurts. OK. Oh, no. That's my reminder that that that Thor doesn't want me to do this right now. i mean to You know, here's what you do you you lower the ceiling fan.
00:14:03
Speaker
to right above the couch, you lay down on the couch, take your pants off, your underwear off. And then you you sit there and you try not to think about porn, because if you do.
00:14:16
Speaker
You you'll know it. Right. But that's for our friends who have have penises. That's fair. Well, what if what if you're a person who doesn't then like what do you you know? We have to find something that like helps everybody. Right. Or at least like can is within reach. So, you know, Velcro can be put anywhere. You take all your toys and you pour hot sauce on it. There you go. Yeah. Some cayenne pepper as well. Yeah.
00:14:42
Speaker
You'll know when you when you screw up. Yeah. And if you touch your eyes accidentally when you're getting all this stuff, then you might blind yourself and you can't watch it. and Which you deserve for touching your eyes, you sick, disgusting freak.
00:14:55
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. um do Rule number one, doubt shalt not let thine eyes. i we used to watch this TV show that came on Adult Swim called Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
00:15:08
Speaker
And there was a character on there that was like this thing that grew from like old moldy food under the bed or something. And his name was Old Drippy is what one of the characters called him.
00:15:21
Speaker
and he's this ah He was this real soft-spoken, very kind character that they all took advantage of. Um, and, but one of the things he said that I never forgot was he says, and remember every everyone, idle hands are on the genitals.
00:15:38
Speaker
if you charge up And I think about that a lot. We're just like, if you don't know what to do with your hands, if you're not working, if you're not using them for a game, if you're not, you know, like expressing yourself, if whatever that may be, you know, like, what do you do with your hands? You know? It's like, no, that's, that's absolutely true. It's like, they say the,
00:15:58
Speaker
you know, idle hands or the devil's play things like that's what he uses to get off, man. He looks at pictures of your unused hands, sticks them up his butt and stuff every time you're freaky.
00:16:09
Speaker
Every time you watch porn and find yourself to completion, Satan keeps a scoreboard and says, oh, well that person definitely has to come to hell because I'm getting it when they get it. And so like if they're doing it a lot, like you're pretty much setting yourself up for like the slide down to hell.
00:16:28
Speaker
You know what? I never understood. What? And I think this comes from ah Dante's Inferno with the different layers of hell. Sure. There was like a. Lust.
00:16:42
Speaker
Layer that was like. all ah basically always like a torture orgy. Sure. What if you were into that? What if you were lustful and like, ah you know, took advantage of people and all that, but you were into that. So like now you're just in heaven, I guess.
00:17:01
Speaker
Right. I guess you could perceive that. Oh, I didn't know this is what heaven would be like. It's a little bloodier than I remember. But hey, that's cool. But I could get into that. Right. Like, don't know you into one of the demons outside the cage poking everybody.
00:17:15
Speaker
Yeah. Like, I don't know if they give you an orientation for like, hey, we've decided you go to this circle. Like, do they tell you that you're in hell or Hades or whatever it is that they call it? Or is it just you arrive? I think you just get sorted and then thrown into whichever hell you want Like laundry bin.
00:17:32
Speaker
Yeah. Like a self sort machine. Right. Well, I think. If that's the case, I would imagine that if someone there is good at their job, they would be like, except for you, you have to go to, I don't know, the employment orientation. yeah You have to go to the DMV instead.
00:17:55
Speaker
Oh, God. that No, throw me in. Throw me in the crazy sex orgy, please. thank yeah You have to go to the DMV and never move forward line.
00:18:06
Speaker
and don't want to go to the hell DMV. You have to stand next to somebody else listening to porn, but it's porn of genders you are not attracted to and um and of people like... It's all just animal porn. like the Yeah, it's on you yeah crap and it's all It's Mango Mussolini getting you know um corked by a pineapple and you just have to like listen to it.
00:18:29
Speaker
Like there's your eyes and make you watch it. Yeah, there's something that like they'll just like if someone's good at their job, like, no, no, no, no no you can't like this. no way. No, no, no, no, no. Excuse me. You're not supposed to have fun here. Yeah, yeah, that's kind of my thing. And today's my first day and you're really, yeah, no fun. um I will say, though, to to to help with this question, like.
00:18:55
Speaker
Like a lot of times. People who are homebodies who, you know, like, like Danny here, who like, don't leave the house all that often and don't really have lot. They wear like really loose fitting clothing. So it's easy to kind of get in there and work and work around.
00:19:18
Speaker
um Danny keeps raising his hand as I say things.
00:19:23
Speaker
um you know, like sweats or like they're, you know, they have access to a computer in any regular time, you know, like that, that's just setting yourself up. Like you need to, like, you need to put yourself farther between or farther away from the thing that gives you that access.
00:19:43
Speaker
You know, most people watch it on their computers. I imagine there are probably some people that watch it on their phones. um But yeah, but if you have it on your if you have if you watch on your computer, put distance between you and your computer to go find something that keeps you active. Go find something that keeps your your mind and your body engaged in something productive other than other than reproductive.
00:20:05
Speaker
I agree. Yeah, he says all the way back there. Yeah, put your put distance between yourself and you and the computer and and the devil's play things. Yeah. Now you can't reach the mouse, you know, now you can't reach the keyboards to type in, you know, and then horn.
00:20:23
Speaker
Yeah. And make sure that when you do it, you open all windows that can like like if you have a laptop, especially take that laptop to a place where there's a lot of window coverage.
00:20:34
Speaker
You know, just like that way, everyone can always see you always. And you're just like, oh, and now I'm self-conscious because I don't want the neighbors to see me, you know.
00:20:46
Speaker
Choking vine chicken. Yeah. yeah Or, you know, or, you know, other things that are grotesque. Now, Adam, just to to cover our bases.
00:20:58
Speaker
Yeah. How are you reading the question? How am I reading the question? Because because like you read it differently than I did. Yeah, I think your interpretation is the correct one. I read it just very quickly and assumed it was like, I've been watching porn nonstop for the past two weeks and I can't help but keep watching it. How do I stop? I see. Do we want to answer that question too?
Advice on Overcoming Addictions
00:21:20
Speaker
Just to make sure we get...
00:21:22
Speaker
I mean, there's probably other there yeah there's probably people out there who have like, I can't like, it's not like, oh, I've been trying to take a, like I've taken a break and I'm relapsing versus I don't know how to stop, which is like a similar. I think we should answer that question too. That sounds important.
00:21:38
Speaker
And yeah clearly all the people give a crap what we think. So. Right. Well, I still stand by do it like open all the windows, turn on all the lights. leave your door open, like just things that would just make you feel shame for doing it. You know, cover your hands. Basically kink shame yourself. Kink shame yourself.
00:22:00
Speaker
Constantly. um Constantly judge yourself. Constantly judge yourself. Feel bad about yourself. ah Really, you know, find another way to punish yourself. you know, have like go find some BDSM stuff. Go do some self-flaggregate. Flat flag. flag Essentially flog yourself with a flogger.
00:22:22
Speaker
Flagellation. No. Flagellation. Self-flagellation. Self-flagellation town sounds too sexy, though. You can't say that. It sounds farty. It sounds farty.
00:22:35
Speaker
But I think the answer very similar. Like, if you have that kind of addiction... Stupid episode. It's probably because you need to do something else. You need to get away from, like, not to get too morbid, but, like, if you're somebody who is depressed, right? Right.
00:22:53
Speaker
A lot of recommendations from people who practice, um you know, QPR and things like that is put distance between you and the things that can harm you. Right. So this is one of those things where like if you know that you are prone to spending a lot of time on your computer watching pornography or whatever it may be that you're into, then you have to put distance between you and that thing so you can't do it.
00:23:16
Speaker
You have to find something else that fulfills your brain. not saying it's easy, especially if you do have an actual addiction, but like you have to, the part of it is just putting distance between you and the thing that you are struggling to let go of.
00:23:29
Speaker
Cause you can't hold onto it if it ain't there. yeah um Honestly, look into like, not going to, but look into some of the steps that AA uses.
00:23:39
Speaker
All, you know, most addictions, no matter what it is, work off the same, parts of the brain and kind of work off the same triggers. ah So look up, you know, what are some of the tips that that people with problems drinking do when they go to AA? What are some of the exercises that they take? You know, things like don't go to bars, don't go to those websites, find something else to fill that urge, get a hobby, something like that. yeah You can get somebody to put like good place to start.
00:24:14
Speaker
You could get somebody to put a blocker on your computer that like only they know the password for that can block out certain keywords. um You know, there's ways to turn on like child protection so that you can't see anything explicit.
00:24:29
Speaker
Yeah. And then have somebody else be the one that has the password so you can't. Same thing with your phone. Yep. But honestly, I think something that ah people are often missing is community. I think and like we've talked about this in recent episodes, but like if you don't have someone to connect to, if you don't have people to speak to or like a lot of times people who have these kind of addictions are unemployed.
00:24:52
Speaker
ah you know, because of whatever reason, whether it's like some sort of hardship, illness, just because the job market's bad, whatever have you, maybe all of those things. Like when you have a lot of extra time and not a lot of human interaction, like you are like, what do I do to pass the time? And like, that's how those things start.
00:25:08
Speaker
So like finding something that is fulfilling in a way that like, still scratches that itch of like, I need to do something. You'll, you'll find fulfillment mentally as opposed to trying to find it physically.
00:25:19
Speaker
um So like that's, you know, finding community is it's and it's not always easy to do that, but that's also a thing to do like find a hobby that involves other people volunteering. I'll keep saying it to the cows come home, man. Volunteering is free.
00:25:35
Speaker
new knows they're home And you meet people. You say the cows are home. Yeah. They just came home. many cows?
00:25:47
Speaker
Well, there's three, but four left. There's three, but four left? Yeah, I don't know where the fourth one went. Only three came home.
00:25:59
Speaker
Fourth one left. how many so three cows just walked into your house? Mm-hmm. They came home. Yeah. Wow. um many Were there always three? No, there were four. Before? Before?
00:26:13
Speaker
They were beef whores. They would be they or beef
00:26:19
Speaker
That's what all cows are. It's a bunch of beef whores. What is this episode? I don't know, man. we have I'm tired. I'm loopy and my brain is clearly not working. Yeah, it's a pretty chill episode today. go on Yeah, I think at the end of the day,
00:26:35
Speaker
If you want to get over porn addiction, get addicted to something else. i don't love that advice. or you know like some like suit of effect Get some Robituss in. I'm liking this advice lesson.
00:26:51
Speaker
I hear skydiving is fun. Go do that. um you know go go volunteer at a Go volunteer at an animal shelter. You'll meet so many fun little critters.
00:27:04
Speaker
Yeah. Go volunteer in animal shelter. And then when you're done like petting the bunnies, like, you know, sneak some Robitussin, you know, behind the less again. no and no, not that last bit. You can Robo trip in and you won't. No, let's not do that.
00:27:17
Speaker
No, the volunteer is good. Let's go back to that. Yeah. Volunteerism is something that like will really help you. Connect to your community, connect to the things that you like, so volunteer at places that you enjoy.
00:27:31
Speaker
Feel like animals go to do go to an animal shelter. You might even meet somebody else who shares your interests. You might get into a relationship and stuff, you know, might just find some new friends.
00:27:43
Speaker
Yeah. People outside of. ah This addiction of yours that you can use to help take your mind off of it.
00:27:53
Speaker
Or if you have any buddies that like you can trust, you can tell them, hey, I'm having a hard time, like not. doing this shit like I need you to just run interference and like not let me kick in my door call me talk about like grandma like whatever it is you have to do just like ruin the mood you know put a put a picture of somebody in my room at random times yeah you know go go visit you know coming to come hang out you know or or I think maybe the
00:28:28
Speaker
easiest thing is to just print out some pictures of people and things that you just really, you know, put a picture of Jesus up right above your, your, your monitor.
00:28:39
Speaker
I got it. No, I know what you do. And this is like an actual scientific thing. ah A lot of places that leave like unattended ah items to, to buy, you know, like street vendors and stuff. They'll put a picture of eyes.
00:28:58
Speaker
Somewhere there, because even if it's just a picture of a pair of eyes, it gives you that feeling that you're being watched and makes you not want to do anything socially unacceptable.
00:29:10
Speaker
So just print out a picture of eyes and like hang it on the wall opposite you. And I guarantee you next time you try and choke thine chicken. you will see those that pair of eyes out of the corner of your eye and be like, oh, now I feel weird and like like I'm being watched. Yeah, it's not.
00:29:30
Speaker
And it has to be a real picture because you can click away from a digital one. You have to print it out. Oh, yeah, no. I actually get a picture of the eyes so you can't just get rid of them. Just put a picture of someone staring at you like on the front. Yeah, here. like Yeah, like take a screenshot ah from the stream of Danny just like staring down the lens at you. I'll even...
00:29:51
Speaker
You don't want to be disappointed. No, um'm I'm so disappointed. I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed. you don't want to disappointed. You want to look excited to see them like, hey, you know, how um like about this one?
00:30:03
Speaker
No, you don't want to laugh at them. Danny's now covering his mouth. I don't want to laugh. No, you want them to be excited to see you. You want them to be like, oh, I don't want to disappoint this person because they care about me.
00:30:14
Speaker
There you go. Like, just like a big wave. Like, hey, you know, i so you know, that way, like they're like, i love that man. He's such a nice guy. I should call him instead of, you know, watch this 15th video. Call me porn.
00:30:27
Speaker
You know, like we'll discuss things like porn. I mean, video games. Yeah. um I think. Ultimately, you have to just find something that that upsets you so you can't perform.
00:30:43
Speaker
Like. Even like when I'm in the mood and I have two monitors here, like if I'm watching like Rhett and Link on Good Mythical Morning and they're on screen and I pause it and I'm like, i'll usually just have to close it. Like I can't, I know I can't. If I, even though I know that they can't see me for realsies, my brain goes, ah, man, I can't let Rhett and Link see this. Yeah, you can't have...
00:31:05
Speaker
You can't. You just can't have anything looking at you. I can't have that at all. And if other people watching is your thing, it's very rare for someone wanting to be watched by like a parent or a guardian or like their grandmother or somebody that they worship.
00:31:21
Speaker
So put the picture of your God up there, put a picture of your mom, your dad, your grandma, your aunt, whatever the fuck it is. Me, Danny, um you know, and then just like, you're like, okay, even if regardless of the face they're making, like if you feel like the eyes are like right on you, it really does change something.
00:31:39
Speaker
It does. It really does. Even if you know they're fake, it doesn't matter. You know, there's like paintings that they often show, like in haunted houses where like as you walk past, it looks like the eyes are following you. You got to get something like that, where the eyes just like lock on to wherever it is that you walk or like there's like an illusion that like it does that because then you're. Yeah, yeah i know I know how to make those.
00:31:59
Speaker
I can make you one of them. Yeah, I mean, there's probably some place you can get those already, probably at your local party city, maybe. I don't know. Yeah, they're pretty easy to make. Really? How do you make it? What are they made of?
00:32:12
Speaker
So it's just a picture, piece paper, picture, right? You cut out the eyes. You put another piece of paper behind the eyes with like quarter inch behind it or so.
00:32:27
Speaker
And that's where you draw like the pupils so that when you're looking at it, the the angle changes. You draw the pupils where? On the paper behind the picture.
00:32:39
Speaker
with like a little gap between them so that there's room for the angle to change when you're looking at it from different sides. i don't know what you're talking about, but that sounds like so something that could be science or physics or whatever. that I'm pretty sure that's how you're supposed to do that.
00:32:57
Speaker
I don't know. You seem really confident, but I couldn't tell if you were gaslighting me. So wanted to see if you could. I was if I was gaslighting you, I'm gaslighting myself, too. As all friends should.
00:33:09
Speaker
Gaslight your friends. 2026. Your friends and yourself. 2026. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. gas Gaslight your penis.
00:33:20
Speaker
Into saying we already did this. Thinking porn is bad. No, just gaslight your penis and think we already did it. Like we did it already. You're already trained. You're already done. yeah
00:33:33
Speaker
I've given all I can, Captain. ah Yeah, you've you've you've done it. You like you you did it, little guy. you know, um I think that's it. Gaslight your junk.
00:33:45
Speaker
Like, just convince your genitalia that you've already done the thing. And they're like, oh, at least we found our title. Gaslight your junk.
00:33:57
Speaker
Great minds, Danny. I just wrote that down. on my yeah that's It's got title written all over it. Guess let your junk 2026. Like you just got to. Sometimes you just got to lie to yourself. Sometimes you got to lie to yourself. I do it all the time.
00:34:12
Speaker
I do it all the time. um Yeah, I think we answered the question pretty, pretty well. I think it did well. I think this was yeah this was a good one. Yeah. Yeah, and we're right around 34 minutes, at least on the Zencaster recording.
00:34:28
Speaker
yeah Several minutes of that was us just farting around trying to set up the stream. So... Do you want to try and get one quickie in, or are you good? Get a quickie in? Oh, get a quickie question in or something, or are you good?
00:34:42
Speaker
I mean, we can if you want. I closed off the other questions. um I'm good with either, bruh. How you feeling? Um... You know what? Let's do the one with the fireflies real quick.
00:34:56
Speaker
All right. Hang on one second, peeps. So I did find this other question about fireflies that I thought. um Would be a fun one to do, so I had sent Danny three different questions earlier to choose from.
00:35:10
Speaker
just wanted to say that I like that Adam's shirt matches his sheets. Right. You see that? Right. Yeah.
00:35:22
Speaker
this I'm wearing my sheets. Oh, sheets. For those who didn't hear, Mbeluga said that she likes that my shirt matches my sheets.
00:35:34
Speaker
That's like a little like mini blanket that I put as like a decoration on top of my comforter. And it's been that way for as long as I can remember I don't remember where I got it from, but I only use it as just a thing to decorate my bed.
00:35:49
Speaker
um
00:35:52
Speaker
And if I'm ever getting freaky with a girl in there, I remove that because I don't want to get dirty. Yeah. No, no priorities. I understand. Right. So it's a it's got the but like the OG like yellow and black Batman symbol on it. And I'm wearing a shirt that also has that on. it ah OK, we've got our next question. Thank you for noticing Beluga.
00:36:14
Speaker
Thank you for watching the stream. um
00:36:20
Speaker
Next question is from Acrobatic Toes, which is a great name. And they say, what happens when fireflies fart? My three year old asked me this while putting him to bed. And I said, we'll talk about it tomorrow.
00:36:34
Speaker
So if there are any firefly fart experts out there, I would be very grateful. that Five hours ago. ah So if we put this, episode if they watch this stream tonight, they can make it their answer. They may get their answer before their kid gets up in the morning.
00:36:50
Speaker
Yeah. So although it's if it was five hours ago, which as of this recording, it's nine o'clock now, which means it was four o'clock then. So they must be like in another country.
00:37:05
Speaker
Like otherwise, who puts their kid to bed at 4 p.m.? I mean, there are only three. it could be. I guess. Yeah, four is a little early. Yeah. um So we got so hopefully they'll see this because it's morning in some places now.
00:37:21
Speaker
um So, Danny, what do you think happens when a firefly farts?
Fireflies Farting – A Humorous Inquiry
00:37:29
Speaker
I don't think there's any actual fire involved in a firefly, unfortunately. So what I think is would happen if a firefly were to fart, I think the fluorescent like gas would just kind of like...
00:37:46
Speaker
but You'd just see like a little smoke. Like a little... Like a little glowy smoke. A little tuft of like colored smoke coming out of backyard.
00:37:58
Speaker
We're almost at a tongue twister here. if a fire fly If a firefly... If a firefly farted fluorescent farts... Farts.
00:38:09
Speaker
How many pickle peppers peanut butter pick? Yeah. kind of thing like What could that be? If a firefly farts fluorescent farts... listen Fairly fucking far. I don't know. but Anyway, so you think it would just make like a little smoke stream of. I do. I think it would just be a little like when you watch people fart on like infrared cameras.
00:38:32
Speaker
Yeah. Just see the little gas kind of. i think it would be like that, but everybody would see because it's glowing. Hmm. You know, from what I remember, ah you many moons ago in seventh or eighth grade,
00:38:49
Speaker
I did a science report on fireflies and by science report, I mean, I found something on the internet on dial up and printed out like seven pages and stapled it together with my opening statement and called it my report and somehow didn't get a failing grade.
00:39:05
Speaker
That's more work than people do in reports today. Yeah. That's just how lazy I'd like forgot. I had to do it and I just downloaded it and stapled it. And I was like, okay, see kids back in our day, this is all the work you had to do to be lazy.
00:39:17
Speaker
Yeah, I didn't. I thought I was going to get in so much trouble, but I didn't get called out for it. But if I recall from that report, I'm pretty sure that what makes their like little like little chemicals in their backside light up is when they take in air from their ass, essentially.
00:39:37
Speaker
So when oxygen goes inside of that, like something ignites in there and that's what makes like that glow. I don't remember what it's called, like what that what like is they have that lights up um like a body. think it's an enzyme. But I think it's when they take in oxygen.
00:39:54
Speaker
So it's like ah it's like they they're not farting. They're like breathing through their ass. And that is like what makes their butt glow. Pretty sure I've seen a video of somebody doing that.
00:40:06
Speaker
Breathing into their ass. Yeah. Hmm. And then they're ass glowing. I'll have to ask that porn person. Yeah, reach out and see if he knows, if they know. um Yeah. Okay. So yeah you think they already kind of do it?
00:40:20
Speaker
I think it's like an an inward fart. Like they suck it in. So it must come out their front if they're sucking it in. Oh, I don't like that. Maybe they to I don't know if I'd want to burp my fart air.
00:40:34
Speaker
Yeah, maybe they use it to slow down. If they're flying too fast, they let out like a front fart. Oh, kind of like a plane landing. Yeah, and it just like slows them down. can see that. Yeah, now I'm curious. I feel like I'm right. What makes a firefly's butt glow?
00:40:54
Speaker
They light up to attract mates and ward off predators. Yeah, yeah, whatever. um I want to know how it happens. They have specialized cells that contain a compound called luciferin.
00:41:08
Speaker
when oxygen is introduced to the abdomen, it mixes with luciferin and luciferous in a presence of ATP, energy-storing molecules. So, yeah ah den they tri phphate yes. yes.
00:41:21
Speaker
So they, um yeah what you use to make energy when you work out and eat food and stuff. um So if you, so yeah, so when oxygen goes into their abdomen, their ass lights up. So I imagine it must come out the other side.
00:41:42
Speaker
A fart is mostly methane, right? Uh, crystal methane. Yeah. Crystal methane. I thought so. So what if it made like their butts glow a different color?
00:41:57
Speaker
What if like they breathe in and it glows like a yellowish green, but when they breathe out, it's like blue or red. That'd be fun. That'd be cool.
00:42:07
Speaker
That'd be pretty cool. Yeah. It'd be like those, um, those different like sparklers that you can get to change colors like as it burns down. Yeah, yeah that'd be pretty sick. Pretty sick.
00:42:20
Speaker
But what if what if when they fart, that's what turns it off?
00:42:25
Speaker
OK, so they inhale to to turn it on and then exhale again to turn it off. Right. like Yeah, they fart to turn. That's why, like, if you're trying to catch them at night, like when they they fart to turn it off, you're like, oh, no, there's giants trying to catch me.
00:42:37
Speaker
And like, you can't see them in the night because like maybe that's the speed boost then. Like you were saying before, they use it to slow down. Maybe they actually use it to speed up. And it it would explain why they never leave the light on.
00:42:51
Speaker
It's always like kind of quick flashes. Maybe some of them have a longer fart than others, but you know none of them are flying around fully fluorescent all night.
00:43:03
Speaker
Well, now i have to look this up. Do fireflies fart? Yes, fireflies pass gas, according to the shitty AI response. Amazing. Let's see.
00:43:14
Speaker
This is what AI was built for. It says, just like and many other insects, they harbor microbes in their guts that break down food, releasing harmless and odorless gases like hydrogen and methane as a byproduct.
00:43:28
Speaker
However, there's a popular myth that their glowing ability acts like a reverse fart. This stems from the fact that fireflies, which are actually beetles, require oxygen to create their signature glow. When people used to believe they'd taken in oxygen through their rear ends, they actually inhale it through tiny tubes along their bodies called tracheoles.
00:43:47
Speaker
her I refuse. Yeah, I don't believe that. i believe they breathe through their butt, but they still part. So either way, I'm going to say that what happens like when a firefly farts is the lights go off.
00:44:00
Speaker
m I think big science is lying to us. Fireflies breathe through their ass in lights it up, out turns it off. You heard it here first, folks.
00:44:12
Speaker
We've cracked the case. We've solved it Yeah, I think we did it. I think that's it. um Follow up question for you then, Danny. OK.
00:44:24
Speaker
If someone said. They could grant you the ability to like every time that you breathed in, your ass would glow, would you do it? Absolutely.
00:44:36
Speaker
And what color do you hope that your ass would glow? A nice, bright blue. A bright, a nice sky blue. Wow, that's like a super. So like at night you would be like a blue flashlight in the dark.
00:44:49
Speaker
I mean, how well, when I say a bright blue, I mean like a lighter blue, like sky blue. But how bright are we talking like the blue on our background? I want it to be like that. Maybe a little brighter, than that little lighter. Right. Wow.
00:45:04
Speaker
But like how bright, you know, how many lumens are coming off my ass? How many lumens from this human? How many lumens from my... How many human lumens will it be? Yeah, how many human lumens are coming from my ass?
00:45:20
Speaker
How many human... That's a sentence probably no one's ever spoke. Oh no, now now we have a second thing for the title. What will we do? many human lumens are coming from my ass?
00:45:32
Speaker
Um... Yeah. um Like if it's not super, super duper bright. I mean, I sleep in pants. I have under my guy. I imagine it's probably just kind of looks like there's a science experiment going on under the blanket. Yeah, I think unless you're really bare ass in it, no one's really going like notice that much unless you're wearing like light colored pants to bed or something. But if ever I'm stuck in a situation where I'm like in a dark room.
00:46:00
Speaker
I got you guys. yeah
00:46:04
Speaker
Right. like Wow. Maybe the lumens depend on how big of a breath you take. Okay. ah That's not good because I breathe very heavy when I sleep. apparently so Yeah, because I'm thinking like if you
00:46:19
Speaker
yeah because I imagine a a firefly isn't going like It's just like doing like a normal breathing like you and I have been this whole episode. But like if you're taking like a huge huge breath to hold then I imagine you could probably have it on for a little while as long as you kept the oxygen in your body.
00:46:39
Speaker
So in that case, I guess the bigger the breath, the brighter the lumen. Right. The bigger the breath, the more human lumens. Yeah, the bigger the breath, the more human lumens. Yeah. All right. How about you? would you you?
00:46:53
Speaker
Would I have a glowing ass?
00:46:57
Speaker
I don't know if i if I would ask if I could have something else. Uh, no, sorry, it's this of nothing. But if it's a glowing ass, I think it'd be kind of nice, like, if I don't want to... I'm the shittiest genie ever. I can only grant one wish, and this is that wish. I was cursed to only be able to grant the wish of... well, not even really a wish, just the curse, really, of the glowing ass.
00:47:22
Speaker
Congrats, you found me. I will grant you one wish. Up up up. No, you don't get to choose the wish. Yeah, that's the that's the joke. It's if you wanted your ass to glow. It's like you just have to tell me, do you want the wish?
00:47:35
Speaker
And then you you say yes. i give yeah I can't tell you what it is at a time. Yeah. But I promise you'll love it. yeah It's going to be incredible. What do you know about fireflies? Alakazam.
00:47:49
Speaker
Like ah if I were to do it, I would definitely wouldn't want something bright. um Like ah one of my favorite colors is orange, but I don't know if I would want an orange glowing ass.
00:48:01
Speaker
Oh, that would be great. Like if you're you were, know, walking down the street in the middle of the night, it's a car. See you. Nice, big orange ass light. Or like if my car was dead and I couldn't put on my four ways, I could just like breathe in and out, like on the side of the road. like it to to indicate that I'm in emergency.
00:48:25
Speaker
um but Yeah, I'd probably do that, but something that doesn't glow too bright. like I would want it to be more like nightlight-ish and not... Okay. Yeah, so that way, even if I took a deep breath in, it wouldn't bad. What do you think would happen when you farted?
00:48:42
Speaker
I think the same thing with Fireflies. It goes out. Yeah, it would go out, yeah. So like I think like the moment you start taking a shit, like unless you're focusing on taking a huge breath while you do it, it's just black in there.
Bodily Functions & Anatomy Humor
00:48:55
Speaker
Well, I think... I think it wouldn't just go out. It would be kind of like... You know how when you have like an ember or a small flame that you're trying to to light into like a bigger fire, you breathe on it to get more air into it and lighten it a bit?
00:49:11
Speaker
Right. I think it would be like that. During the actual fart, as the air is passing over, a lot more oxygen is going to be getting there. And I think... So during the fart, you're going to get...
00:49:24
Speaker
much stronger human lumens, but then it'll go dark after. i mean, maybe. i mean, the science is still out, so anything's possible this point. If you have a glowing ass, let us know what happens when you fart.
00:49:38
Speaker
It's very important for science. Follow up, follow up question, because just thought of it as I was talking. Have you ever breathed in while pooping?
00:49:49
Speaker
Like, can you breathe while in the process of shitting? And I don't mean sitting on the toilet waiting to shit. I mean, as it's coming out, as it's coming out, as you are pushing it out, can one breathe in? Because I was just trying to like mirror, like, could I? Because I'm going like, huh and like all the air is coming out or stopping when I'm pushing.
00:50:09
Speaker
So like, can I go? can, but I have to like think about it. Like, yeah, like that's contracting muscles that like work against each other. cause I'm like, I don't know if I can push. I don't know if you.
00:50:24
Speaker
yeah Like you couldn't breathe in while farting, even like, I don't think you can. Like, I think you have. I think it's like sneezing with your mouth with your eyes open. rather Yeah. You just can't do it. i don't think I don't know if it's possible for the average human to breathe in while farting or shitting.
00:50:47
Speaker
He goes to Google. Yeah, absolutely. Can you breathe? Well, yeah can you inhale while farting?
00:50:58
Speaker
Yeah. Or can you inhale while in the act of shitting? Like, I feel like it would take a lot of inhale concentration and body shitting. Uh,
00:51:10
Speaker
What's the word I'm looking for? Like should I poop on inhale or exhale? No.
00:51:16
Speaker
Yes, you can and should inhale while having a bowel movement. Right. But in the act of it happening, you can inhale while like how to poop like a unicorn.
00:51:27
Speaker
ah That doesn't help me. I already know how to do that. Don't hold your breath. What to do when you poo. Don't strain. Yeah, I know. you're like Today I learned you can't breathe while pooping. Here it is. Today I learned you can't breathe while pooping because your epiglottis closes and you use the air pressure in your lungs to push out the waste.
00:51:50
Speaker
who's But is that from just like a thread? It's from Reddit. It's a day I learned. But it is citing the ivyroseco.uk. Okay.
00:52:02
Speaker
Ivy Rose. his historical It's a holistic medicine thing. Oh, don't know how much I believe that, but it's not telling me to use a crystal to poop better. It's just saying you can't breathe while pooping. So I'm inclined to.
00:52:17
Speaker
Give it the benefit of the doubt. Yeah, I'm curious, because, yeah, and that's what I was just saying. I was trying to like. make a mock about like, could I like push out while I was breathing in and I could feel like it's almost like when what's that phenomenon where like you can't.
00:52:37
Speaker
What's that thing where like if you plug your nose, you can't.
00:52:42
Speaker
Whistle? No, it's not whistle. If you plug your nose, you can't.
00:52:48
Speaker
I don't know. There's something if you either plug your nose or you put your tongue to the roof of your mouth, like there's something that you can't do. If you plug your nose, you can't hum. You can't hum. Right. If you plug your nose, you can't hum.
00:53:00
Speaker
Like I'm wondering if it's kind of like that or like there's something that closes off like that person said, because like, I don't know if I can push and breathe at the same time. Like I can, but it's hard. I have to like really put my core into it, I guess, because I don't have the air to do it.
00:53:17
Speaker
Right. Like I imagine it's the same when like a woman is giving birth, like they tell her to breathe to like get ready. But then when it's pushed, like she's not going, you know, like she's I mean, they do have they do have Mm hmm.
00:53:33
Speaker
Mm hmm. do have a diagram here.
00:53:39
Speaker
aha The parasympathetic pathways and the sigmoid colon, ye the rectum, the internal sphincter. Right, the sigmoid colon. Yeah, the external sphincter. Sigmoid colon was the one that did all those like daddy experiments, right?
00:53:53
Speaker
Yes, I'm pretty sure. um Yeah. Fecies are expelled from the anus. Write this down. When feces are expelled from the anus...
00:54:07
Speaker
No, no, that that's ah it's a fact for today. Write that down. We've learned that feces are expelled from the anus. No, we know that. We did. That's your butthole.
00:54:19
Speaker
That's the anus. Isn't now where babies come from? That's also where babies come from. They can do both. it
00:54:29
Speaker
Babies are little shit, so. It's multi-acided. It can do both.
00:54:37
Speaker
Don't be an asshat, be an asset. Oh, God. Yeah. So i I think what we're learning today is you can't breathe in and shit out at the same time. yeah At least you can't breathe in and push it out. Like as it's on the way and you've gotten the train started, it's probably fine. But like, I think I might go get my doctorate and endocrinology. I think I'm ready.
00:55:01
Speaker
You think you're ready after looking at that at that? I think. How hard could it be? I dare you that once we wrap up this call to ask your wife if she is able to like, do you think you can do it right now? You want me to do it right now?
00:55:17
Speaker
Is she in the room? No, but I can call her. She's in the next room over. Sure. Yeah. Call her over real quick. I want to know if she knows if she what her if she knows if she thinks she can do Well, first, first, let's wait five seconds and see if she comes if she's still watching the stream.
00:55:32
Speaker
Give it a second. Yeah. See if she just gets to this point. If not, I will. I'll call her over. You can't give me a bet like this. Of course, I'm going to do it.
00:55:44
Speaker
Beluga, honey. ah knee Honey. Honey. Honey,
00:55:54
Speaker
honey i need you. This was supposed to be a quickie and I just knew. i am calling you, honey. Do you think you are able to. At the same time.
00:56:08
Speaker
Inhale while pooping. Like, not while you're waiting for it, but at the moment... And have to push it out. Yeah, at that moment, when now everything is flowing, do you think you're able to breathe in and out?
00:56:24
Speaker
Or even breathe in and fart at the same time. You do. You think you're... Oh, yeah, it was inhale. Are you able to inhale while pooping or farting?
00:56:34
Speaker
Like, in the process of pushing it.
00:56:40
Speaker
I'm having tummy issues, so I'll let you know in a little while. Okay, get back to me. Yeah, yeah. No, this is good. This is an experiment. We've we've set our control now. We do the experiment. Yeah.
00:56:52
Speaker
Send her the diagram walk out of her phone. feel really bad. Try not to need me. I will try not to need you, honey. I'm sorry. it's
00:57:06
Speaker
So, yeah, on that brown note, that is it's hard get back to us. You know, if ah you're able to breathe in, I'm to thinking about that. Like, ah I'm going to try to like really the moment if I want to like you push up try it to like, I'm just going practice it with farting. Like if I if I feel some gas that I can push out, can I push and breathe in at the same time? I don't think I can.
00:57:29
Speaker
The thing is, if you do that, you're just becoming like a wind tunnel. It's just going in and then back out. I would love to be able to do that. That's true. That would be cool. Imagine if you could do that to just make like the everlasting fart.
00:57:43
Speaker
Yeah, that would be sick. This is something I don't think I've shared with any adult friends in my life. But when I was a kid, a young teenage boy, maybe a little bit preteen.
00:57:57
Speaker
I could position my, maybe I told you this, I can't remember now. I was able to position myself in such a way That my ass would be up in the air. I would practically be doing kind of like I don't know what you call those things where like when you lay on your back and then like you kind of like shoot your legs up in the air and you're kind of just like standing on your shoulders a little bit. You ever do that? Yeah.
00:58:15
Speaker
No, I'm not that. used to do that all the time. But there was times where like I would do that, but it's like bend my knees and hold my legs and I could fire farts up into the air and I could fart nonstop.
00:58:30
Speaker
Cause like you could hear it. I could suck air back into my ass and keep. Oh God, you were one of them. I learned how to do it. And you have to have your position, your body in the right position to essentially inhale through your ass like a firefly does.
00:58:45
Speaker
And or at least like allegedly what we think a firefly does. And i heard it here, folks. To Adam is a firefly. I could infinitely fart if I was in that position. And it was a very weird feeling to feel this cold air going into my warm ass just for me to fire it back out.
00:59:06
Speaker
And i i haven't tried it since I was a boy, but I'm like, I wonder if I can still do that. um But that's a true story about Adam that not a lot of people know. And it's, you know, it's probably you why I'm single.
00:59:18
Speaker
I don't think that's why. think life just isn't fair. You think life isn't fair? I think life is just not fair.
00:59:29
Speaker
There is no reason you should be single. This alone should get the girl swooning. Yes, because... Hey, baby, watch this. When I was 11 years old, I could just infinitely breathe through my ass and fart.
00:59:45
Speaker
Nonstop. Um... And I think I stopped at one point because I think my dad like heard me doing it a bunch of times. And he's like, what the hell is going on up there?
00:59:56
Speaker
you love the idea of you just in your room doing this. Yeah, i I would do it. Then eventually my little brother would come out and he would be laughing. Then my sister would come out and she'd be laughing. And then I just want to see how long I can go.
01:00:08
Speaker
at one point, my dad just heard it. And he thought we were making noises with like our mouths and our hands and stuff like that. So he's like, fucking quit it. Like, that's disgusting. Quit doing that stuff. And then like, I guess it started to stink real bad. And he was like, what? Like, it stinks upstairs. Like, like, what are you doing?
Childhood Fart Stories & Closing Thoughts
01:00:24
Speaker
And he realized that like I like was just farting a bunch. and He's like, I don't know how you're doing that, but you need to quit it because like like we can smell it downstairs.
01:00:35
Speaker
when And I was like, oh, my God, I thought I was just farting out like clean air that I was breathing in through my ass this whole time. and thought I was filtering it. Since you shared, I will return the favor.
01:00:48
Speaker
This was a couple of years ago. i was talking to my sister-in-law and Mbeluga was there. And somehow the idea of farting in your sleep came up. And my sister-in-law goes, well, yeah, everybody farts in this in their sleep. It's something everybody does.
01:01:05
Speaker
And I said, no, I don't do that. And my sister-in-law takes one look at me and she's like, bullshit, you don't do that. And Mbeluga has my back and says, no, he absolutely doesn't do that.
01:01:18
Speaker
And she asked us how well, like, how did I know I don't do it? And I was like, because I wake up, my stomach hurts until I let rip like a good 15 second long fart. And then all that pressure is gone. I'm like, there's no way I could do that if I was farting my sleep.
01:01:36
Speaker
And Umbaluga's right next to me like, yeah, that's that's how we know. Yeah.
01:01:44
Speaker
You just have like all this pent up just bubble. It's just all, it's like every morning I can feel it when I wake up and then as I'm doing my morning pee and I let everything loosen, it's just like a good 15 minutes.
01:01:57
Speaker
You're like a big whoopee cushion. Ah. That's incredible. I love that. It's so good. Feels great every morning. I love that for you, man. You know what? I pretty sure they really like.
01:02:11
Speaker
hope that doesn't turn into something in your sleep like, you know, like, like, I don't know, blows out your asshole or some shit. Yeah, that would suck But man, it really feels good to get that pressure out of there. Oh, I bet you could probably like you should could probably like.
01:02:32
Speaker
what's so What am I trying to think of? Like, with the right kind of sphincter control, you could, like, play different notes when you're doing that. True. Yeah. I do have a habit of cutting them a little bit, so they usually end like a... gentlemen I about, like...
01:02:47
Speaker
like bee bee bee be be bran breey bree blae bee be but
01:02:55
Speaker
Anyway, this episode has gone shitty enough. Thank you, acrobatic toes, for this wonderful question. i hope that this helped you to educate your child on what happens when fireflies fart.
01:03:07
Speaker
Yeah, feel free to teach them all the scientific discoveries we discussed here today. Yeah, you know, ask your kid, do you think that you can inhale and fart while farting? Yeah, I challenge them.
01:03:19
Speaker
Yeah. All right, everybody. Listen, if you're somebody who thinks that you can inhale while pushing out a fart, please let us know. love We'd love to watch you. Please send us a video FundanceLartersNetwork.biz.
01:03:32
Speaker
We'll check it out. Maybe post it on our website for other people to see. um and And of course, if you have any questions, you can go to FundanceLartersNetwork.biz. You can go to our YouTube channel or you can come to our stream and drop something in there.
01:03:46
Speaker
Eventually, maybe we advertise our stream when we get our shit together. But right now well just doing it in for right now. Our shit is everywhere and we're not inhaling while we do it. Yeah. Maybe. May your fireflies always be farting.
01:03:58
Speaker
um And yeah, Danny, is a dream come true for you? This is you know what? Especially tonight has been a dream come true. This is this is what I live for is talking about farting and shitting. You know, we talked about growing older but not growing up this.
01:04:15
Speaker
Yeah, this is the definition of that. And I can't wait to go to my new job on Monday and tell them all about today's conversation. really hope you do. I hope you really. absolutely will not. I do not have the dadim gene that allows that without getting fired for some kind of harassment.
01:04:35
Speaker
No, you just say, hey, listen to this episode of the podcast. Get back to me. Oh, I know it kind of sounds like me. I swear it's not me. Yeah, yeah. I don't even know that guy. Yeah, it's it's Gany, Darren T. Totally different. Yeah, that's sorry. Gany is I hate that guy. He's such a yeah, he's such a he's so shitty, so weird. He shits and farts all the time, all the time. i do think that.
01:05:00
Speaker
um You know, we we learned something. We learned something today. We did. You know, this is what we can mark this as an educational episode. Yeah, because we went show up on people's feeds on their education. We went from educating people on how to potentially stop watching porn so much to learning about how fireflies work and then learning that the human body probably can't do two of these functions at once.
01:05:25
Speaker
Yeah. Remember when we answered a semi-serious question? That was this episode. It was the same episode. it was the same episode. You could cut this episode of like 35 minutes and have a radically different episode for the next one.
01:05:37
Speaker
We could absolutely do that. yeah I'm not gonna, but you know, that just require editing. We're not doing that. To show you how multifaceted our, our team is, you know, that's how, that's the breadth of what we can talk about. You know, our team, we can, the team, you and mean we're a team. Okay.
01:05:54
Speaker
Yeah. it was like, do we have a team? Yeah. Yeah. yeah Also, folks, please check out our Etsy shop. fun If you go to Etsy.com slash Fun and Sellers Network, I just added all of the days of the week shirts on there.
01:06:10
Speaker
Somebody did just buy a shirt. I got a notification that we got our first actual sale. I don't know who did it. I'm assuming it's someone from the network. So whoever you are, thank you for buying one. I don't know what you bought.
01:06:21
Speaker
um But we have the days of the week shirts up there. We have bucket, which was like demanded very recently that we put up there. So there's a few colors for bucket. And we also have what color is this shirt?
01:06:34
Speaker
So if you want to pick your favorite color, it says what color the shirt is. And people I can tell you, at least with the demo shirts we've worn around work, people seem to really think those are funny. And so it's a great conversation. haven't wrong yet. Yeah. So check those out if there's any things that you want to see, please let us know. And that is at etsy.com slash fun installers network.
01:06:54
Speaker
um And I think that is about it. So Danny, is there anything else that you want to say or plug your Fiverr? I would love to. Yeah. If you want to hear more of my sexy voice and you will actually want it to say things you want it to say, ah check me out at Fiverr at Danny Guarantee.
01:07:09
Speaker
It might be Danny underscore guarantee. Just try both of them. I don't remember which it is. You know, if you send me a link ahead of time, I can I can put it in the show notes. God, that requires work. Or if you can put it in the the chat right now, that way it's also there in the VOD, you know? Yeah, I'll i'll get it to tea you for next episode. Yeah.
01:07:28
Speaker
Uh, this is in fact absolutely a dream come true. Oh, if you want to hear me say things, uh, and get little dark, you know, a little spicy, uh, I will be doing some excerpts for MJ hollows books for the, God, what's it called? All the human voices only.
01:07:52
Speaker
sounds right. Uh, on, Instagram. So look out for that. That is MJ hollows books or the creative mafia is the group I'm doing it with.
01:08:03
Speaker
So check that out. Like the reels, you know, they're, they're doing the narration.
01:08:11
Speaker
They're showing all the different narrators. They're giving them their own little videos. Mine has not come up yet, but keep an eye out. You might see me there.
01:08:21
Speaker
I think that's it for me. Like, yeah. Thank you all for listening. We really appreciate it. Yeah, you heard the man. gotta listen to the things. Thank you for supporting us. Thanks for listening to the episode. for those you are still hanging around, that's really cool. um Yeah, I think that's about it. So, ah till next time, may your fireflies always be farting and take care your mind, take care your heart. Most importantly, please take care of that little sphincter of yours because, you know.
01:08:49
Speaker
You really don't want it to prolapse. Yeah, you don't want the prolapse because then, oh, We talked about shit and fart this entire episode. Don't be a piece of shit this year. And don't be a piece of shit this year. We almost forgot. We almost missed it, but don't worry. We got it.
01:09:07
Speaker
We got it. Try, don't be a dick and please try not to be a piece of shit this year. It's so important. That was scary. I was scared. My ass was puckered, man. And you know what? Let me tell you, before we wrap up, I have been trying to say that even on my videos on Instagram now, just because I really believe it. Even outside of this episode, I want everyone to know, try not to be a piece of shit this year.
01:09:30
Speaker
So follow random atom on Instagram if you want to yeah see the things. While you're checking out Danny Guarantee, The Creative Mafia, MJ Hollow, also follow random atom. Also follow your heart.
01:09:42
Speaker
And take care of your mind and your heart and each other and body and your body and your ass. And be careful maybe just bring it down to one porn night um a week and um see how you do. Either way, gaslight your junk, folks. We'll see you next time. Gaslight your junk.