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Volvap's Fart
16 Plays17 days ago
Why do we apologize and walk all weird after somebody mops the floor? Let's explore that, shall we?
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Transcript
Introduction and Technical Setup
00:00:00
Speaker
I spelled guacamole right. Guacamole is a hard word. G-U-A-C-A-M-O-L-E. Guacamole. Guaca?
00:00:11
Speaker
Guacamole. I think it's guacamole. Yeah, I think it's guacamole. I think that's what it is. Yeah, I'm just going to say yes, that's what it is. Cool. Confirm and go live.
00:00:23
Speaker
Cool. All right. Listen, to for the listeners, we are going live with video in my shadowy room. I'm waiting to see if we're alive. Oh, my God. The people. They could see elsewhere on the Internet.
00:00:35
Speaker
I haven't seen it. I have our YouTube channel up. I haven't seen it yet, though. Why do I have to sign into chat separately? Now he has to sign a chat separately. Oh, and it took the question. oh my God.
00:00:47
Speaker
What is this? doing it So listen, for the people who are listening at home. Danny is currently working through making our video go live. A mental breakdown. Well, that too. We are streaming...
00:01:03
Speaker
This show, are we live right now? Yeah, oh yeah. No, they they can. Oh, okay. Well, I can do the. The good people can hear you. Do the greeting while you. I still don't see us though. i'm trying to see. Is on? No. All right. Hang on one sec. Let me see. Is it on videos?
00:01:17
Speaker
Am I dumb? and i know he's like Anyway, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, ladies, gentlemen,
Meet the Hosts: Danny and Adam
00:01:23
Speaker
non-binary folks. If universe is known and unknown, this is, that's our cue on video. Oh, I see us now, I think. You see it?
00:01:29
Speaker
Oh, shit. Oh my God. I'm never going to get used to that. It's so colorful, though. Look how colorful we are. Damn. say look i I did my bestest. um So, yeah, where we take your cues and we turn them into A's because that's what we do.
00:01:44
Speaker
Even if you what do i usually say? Good morning, good afternoon and good evening, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and people up, down, all around inside and outside the gender binary. My name is Danny Guarantee, joined by my friend Adam, who has stage fright, apparently.
00:01:58
Speaker
Say hi, Adam. Do I have stage fright? Am I hiding? I don't know. You're just skipping your lines and such. What's going on? I'm trying to focus on something else now. You know what? I'm just going to make that smaller so I don't get distracted by it. I'm just going to cover it up so I can only see the chat.
Video Streaming and Live Experience
00:02:14
Speaker
That way, if someone happens to join in, which I don't know, because we here's the thing, listeners, we didn't really advertise that we're doing it like this. We're just trying to make it means that way we can capture the video in a fun way. if somebody happens to join at some point, great. And if they don't, then fine. We have the VOD.
00:02:29
Speaker
Anyway, i mean, we also just thought since we're doing YouTube, now we have actual video and we can get questions live. Yeah, because we're we're as if anybody cares what we think.
00:02:41
Speaker
It's going to happen eventually. OK, so, hey, listeners, just in case, you know, that's what's happening. So I'm not going to cut any of this out. Just skip like two minutes ahead. Next video. If you if you don't care. I'm sorry. Next audio.
00:02:55
Speaker
Don't worry. We're not leaving you in the dust. um So, yeah, Danny, first of all, it's how let's just talk through. For the listeners, i don't want to spend too much time acknowledging the video because like I feel bad for those who are listening who don't see it. But just so that they can get an idea, what is it like for you to see me while we're doing the call? We don't even on personal calls really do a lot of video calls.
00:03:19
Speaker
No, um we do a lot of gaming together and stuff, but we we usually just keep it to voice calls. Really, the only time we've seen each seen each other is in person.
Room Descriptions and Personal Items
00:03:29
Speaker
ah Yeah, we don't in video. This is my first time seeing your room.
00:03:33
Speaker
Oh, yeah. i was going to say, that's my bed. but I've never seen your room before. That's where the deed is done. That's where the magic happens. like My sleep. Yeah, I sleep back there. For those of you who are listening, i there's an elephant blanket. There's a white one that Hitch gave me when it was really cold in here.
00:03:49
Speaker
ah So it's probably kind of hard to see, it stands out against the rest of my dark themed bed. But I have a Batman um blanket atop it because I've had it for many years and it just makes me hold on to my childlike whimsy.
00:04:02
Speaker
Yeah. Welcome to my my weird little room. i like it. Yeah. and Up until now, I had no idea you have a pop filter. You didn't. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It gets in the way a lot when I'm on calls. I don't know how to move it out of the way. So that way it's not like super present. But um and Danny has a bookshelf behind. I have a bookshelf with a lot of books that make me look very smart.
00:04:26
Speaker
But if you take a real close look, you'll see that a lot of them are young adult novels that my wife owns. except for the Stormlight ones. Those are mine. You know what? Something i I'm glad that we talked about this because my I always feel so inadequate when I talk to like when i'm on video calls with other people, especially people i work with, because almost every human being has a bookshelf behind their wherever their desk is, their place of work.
00:04:55
Speaker
And I'm just like, am I the only motherfucker that doesn't have like a full on like bookshelf? Like they're just like, hey, look at how cool I am. yeah We even got like the knickknacks you could see on the top shelf right behind me. We got an M and a D.
00:05:08
Speaker
For Danny Guarantee and Mbeluga. Oh, I thought that meant Dungeon Master because it just says DM on it. Oh, actually, it could be that, too, because this is where all of that magic happens. I even have dice within reaching distance at all times.
00:05:22
Speaker
Oops. my dicece ah i usually Oh, they're over there, too. Yeah.
Discussion on Apologizing for Wet Floors
00:05:27
Speaker
They're in an old jewelry box. Well, hey, how do you feel about getting into and more the question, which has been on the video screen for people who are here watching the video later?
00:05:39
Speaker
Yeah. We should have like a big reveal or something, but you know. Look, we'll figure it out. we're We're still learning, guys, but we promise you to do videos. This is TOQ. Oh, no. If you want to interrupt from now on, you got to come camera. You're going to be on video now. You got to be on camera now.
00:05:53
Speaker
I just heard oops and wanted to make sure you didn't like spill any anything. No, I just threw any dice on the floor. but Also, you might want to watch these dice. I touched them. Oh, shit. actually
00:06:05
Speaker
I can't even help but be on the show. I have what's called Wil Wheaton syndrome. Any dice I touch roll below five. You have red shirts. i have red shirt syndrome.
00:06:17
Speaker
ah Yeah. So now Beluga wants to come and do some cheating chat. She's got to come and get ready. She's got to get on on camera. Baby, baby. Here we go. Um, okay. So this question, I'm going to pull it up in front of me as well. Yes. Uh, so as Adam was saying before, sorry to interrupt, uh, for those who are listening as a podcast, don't worry. Uh, besides us maybe calling out chat or, you know, saying like, Ooh, look at this every once in a while, things will not change for you. We'll keep it as audio friendly as we can. Uh, but we do have the question on the stream. So,
00:06:54
Speaker
People can see it if it's a longer question, because I know some of them have had like whole paragraphs that I've read out. Now you can read along. So yeah. Hooray. In order to celebrate the ease of access, we decided to pick ah like one sentence question. Sorry. Yeah. Two sentence question. And there's a lot going on with this one. I'm very excited to do it. So I'm reading it right now and it's from the no stupid questions thread.
00:07:18
Speaker
18 days ago it was posted and it's by user T girls keep winning, which is a great name. Yeah. And then they are a top 1% poster. I don't know what that means, but I feel like we got celebrity status from whomever this person is. Damn. What does top 1% poster mean? Like they get a lot of like reviews or upvotes or something on their, uh, on their posts.
00:07:42
Speaker
I don't know. It's also, I'm looking at the comments right now and at least three of them are from the top 1% commenters because their responses are highlighted.
00:07:53
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Isn't that fascinating? or questions I guess they keep posts of of questions and stuff. I don't know. Yeah, I don't i don't know. But they I don't know if it's upvotes or – I know you get like some sort of score on Reddit or something.
00:08:06
Speaker
But this is the first time I've really noticed the top one. I believe it's called Reddit Carba. You get Carba, but it's not how many upvotes and downvotes you get. Gotcha. Somebody who's been around since the Narwhal Bacon's at midnight.
00:08:20
Speaker
I've been around for that too, but I wasn't on Reddit. Like I was afraid of it at the time. And so I just didn't like hang out there. I was worried that I'd become some sort of like internet chud that like didn't leave his house. So like I, my Reddit started out as just video game stuff.
00:08:35
Speaker
And then for a little while, it got a little too into reality, you know, political and stuff. And i was like, you know what? This is just making me sad. So now it's mostly just silly bird stuff. Now you're a 4chan man.
00:08:49
Speaker
Oh God. so Okay. So the question is, yes, I'm a janitor. Why do people always apologize for walking on the floor? I've just mopped.
00:09:01
Speaker
Easy, straightforward question. I was just thinking about this today at work, as I do every day after our maintenance person mops to the floor. So, Danny, why do people apologize? I am absolutely one of those.
00:09:17
Speaker
um Or at the very least, i will feel like I have to. It's the same kind of feeling I would get, I think, if I were to walk through wet concrete. but That's a little bit different. It it it is.
00:09:31
Speaker
But it gives me the same kind of, I just ruined something you you worked hard to do. You know, you just clean that floor. And now I'm getting my dirty shoes all in the clean floor on the clean water.
00:09:45
Speaker
or on the clean floor in the clean water. I'm getting my dirt on the water. you get better yeah i just i feel like, you know, it's kind of like if somebody were to mow the lawn.
00:10:00
Speaker
get all those nice, beautiful stripes on the lawn. And then you just come and start like kicking the grass or like rubbing on the grass so that it it starts looking all willy nilly.
00:10:14
Speaker
You didn't hurt their lawn at all, but man, I would feel so bad if I did that by accident. Yeah, I mean, I ah have you ever done like the awkward like you're just trying to take as few steps as possible or you leap or you do like these ballerina steps to like step on as little of the wet floor as you can. Yes, I will. I will like.
00:10:37
Speaker
As if I were golfing and trying to read the green, I'll like get real low so i can see the light bounce off the the liquid and see where it dried already. feeling i got to step there. I can make it jumped there.
00:10:50
Speaker
It's like playing a platformer. I'm like, OK, I got right about the area and then I especially all the dry spots. I especially do it if if I know the person is still there.
00:11:01
Speaker
Because i want you see though I want them to see that I feel bad about I'm like, oh, whoa. I'll like, as I'm doing it, I'll like look to them and be like, i' sorry, I'm sorry. And they're like, fuck, dude, don't care. yeah like look got' what i'm mopped i' so i got what I'm paid to do. done.
00:11:20
Speaker
Yeah, I just got to the point where I started asking the gal who does it ah where I work. I'm just like, is it cool? And she's just like, i don't care. I'm like, OK, cool, because I used to do that when I was new at the at the at the food bank. And then one day she was just like, man, I don't care. i already did it. The sign's up.
00:11:37
Speaker
She's like, walk in at your own risk. I don't care. I'm going mopping it again tomorrow. Tangent, but related. hmm. At my old workplace.
00:11:51
Speaker
the cleaning people would clean the bathrooms during working hours. who So, you know not that strange, whatever. But there was this strange dissonance with me or like a dichotomy of what I was doing. Because, man, if.
00:12:10
Speaker
We talked about this at the start of TOQ. where people are trying to be quiet when they take a shit. Yeah. So having like, we had a cleaning woman.
00:12:22
Speaker
So she would open the door a crack and yell in, is anybody in here? Right. And then you're stuck in this situation of like, I'm trying to take a stealthy shit. I'm trying not to make any noise.
00:12:33
Speaker
But now I have to be like, I'm here. yeah Sorry. i don't mean to to waste your time. i'm pooping. I'm pooping.
00:12:46
Speaker
Just something about this reminded me of that. Well, it's... I think it's arguably better to like, yeah, someone's in here. Like, okay, I'll come back. Versus just like, you stay quiet and then they find you and then they have to go clean your stall.
00:13:00
Speaker
I have not had that happen. You have your headphones in and you're like, huh? like we wo what What are you talking about? I think that'd be way worse. I've only ever had that happen to me once at my current place, but she yells in real life. She goes, cleaning.
00:13:15
Speaker
And then you just go, yeah I'm here. Oh, no, we we had it every day at my old place. And they were the exact opposite. They would crack open the door be like, cleaning anybody here?
00:13:26
Speaker
Like real soft, real quiet. No, no. Okay. Like she just like, she i wait I've even had it where multiple people are in the bathroom. And everybody's waiting for someone to say yes.
00:13:39
Speaker
So there's like three guys at the bathroom and nobody is saying, yeah, there's people here. They're going to know. The moment they bring, it's going to be more awkward for you if you let them bring in the cleaning buckets and the cleaning cart and then they have to take it back out. One of the things I do to be nice is if I know somebody else is in there, even after I leave, I will tell the cleaning person on my way out, be like, hey, just so know, there's one more person still in there.
00:14:04
Speaker
I know they didn't answer when you asked. Yeah. I know they're there. For some yeah reason. They're like, oh, thank God Danny answered for us. He's like, no, i answered for me. i am i am for the people.
00:14:16
Speaker
I understand that the people need. That's it's like when I know there's a few people in the bathroom, but only one person I can see has sat down in the stall to do some business. And so even though i usually don't use it, I'll use the ah the air dryer just to like give them like some like fire noise. That way, like if they need to fire some off real quick, you know, like this is like.
00:14:39
Speaker
I'm just like, i hope you're doing it. because i' Go ahead, man. This is your chance. This is your chance to just fire the whole thing. you know just Fire the full salvo before I go. um Because, yeah, sometimes it it feels weird cause you're just like, oh, man, like I don't want to blow it up.
00:14:55
Speaker
I admire the confidence. ah Again, I can't speak to the the women's bathroom, but I admire the confidence of anyone who goes into the men's bathroom and they're just like, fuck it. And they just, they just rip it. Like it's like, and what? That's what it's for. That's what you should just be able to go into the bathroom and shit freely. Yeah. If there's one place where it should be okay to like fart real loud.
00:15:16
Speaker
Yeah. That's the one place. Yeah. That's the one place. Just, yeah. Like I said, shit free or die hard, man. I think like that's what you should be doing. But like I can't I haven't gotten to that like emotional growth yet to just like I don't care. I have faith in you.
00:15:32
Speaker
And people always know it's me because the one thing I don't like is like there's like a crack like right through like where the door latches to the stall. They're like, somebody really wants to see who's in there. They can see who's in there.
00:15:44
Speaker
And so I usually take off my over shirt or my jacket and I whip it up over that way. It's also another hint because some people just don't pay the fuck attention that the door shut. So like.
00:15:55
Speaker
I hang my shirt up over there, that way it knows someone's in there. You're making a lot of weird faces. Sorry. I'm sorry. that The question's gone. The question disappeared.
00:16:06
Speaker
The question is gone. what happened to the question? I don't know how delayed it is on. ah You know, I try to catch up. I think I'm like a few minutes behind. What happened here?
00:16:20
Speaker
don't know. I don't know what you think you're seeing. um Anyway, yeah. So do you ever do that? You would just throw your jacket or your over shirt or something over top of the stall?
00:16:31
Speaker
So people. oh Yeah, I have absolutely done that. um We just cough a lot. So I have a bit of a problem. ah Kind of like a... What was it? Pavlov's bell?
00:16:46
Speaker
Kind of like a reverse Pavlov's bell when it comes to me farting. yeah I know. Reverse Pavlov's bell when it comes to me farting.
00:16:59
Speaker
Okay. Hear me out. Pavlov's toot. So I... just pavlov I love a good fart, man. I do. And I'm not afraid to admit it.
00:17:12
Speaker
yep And because of that, I always love to wait until it's really quiet to let one rip. I want maximum impact, right?
00:17:23
Speaker
Sure. And that has kind of led to me Pavloving myself to not being able to fart during loud noises. During loud noises? there are times where I've like been in serious situations and i'm like man I've really got a fart you know and I have this golden opportunity to make a loud noise and fart during the noise and I will not be able to until the noise is done and it gets quiet and then suddenly the fart happens yeah what I can't if I try and do like the cough fart thing i will cough and then fart right after i just I can't it's like a family guy's game it was like yeah
00:18:04
Speaker
yeah Except badly. I can't do it. Okay, so of Pavlov's spelled backwards is Volvap. Yeah, I Volvapped myself, which sounds real dirty.
00:18:20
Speaker
you don't have You don't have Pavlov's spell, you have Volvapped. I Volvapped. Yeah, I Volvapped my farts. it was Don't be like me. Don't be like Danny. Don't Volvapped my farts. walked so you can run.
00:18:33
Speaker
I fart so you can shit. but
00:18:38
Speaker
That's not what I thought this episode was going to be, but I'm glad we got here. No, no, this is good. This is prime TOQ. i Yeah. Although to get back to the original question, though, I do think.
00:18:51
Speaker
I do appreciate when people do it because like. I think it's almost never about your safety. It's almost always about the courtesy of being like, ah, man, I'm messing up this thing. So think just really funny that the wet floor signs up there. You're like more likely to fall by walking on it than you are to offend the person who just did it. I think the only time that it's offensive is if you do it.
00:19:17
Speaker
Like at home, like because we're thinking like at your business, right, your place of employment. We're like, when it's at home and someone just mops the fucking floor and then you walk all over it and leave footprints everywhere, they're like, you son of a bitch. Yeah, i would say that. Or if you like follow right behind them as they're mopping.
00:19:32
Speaker
Yeah. Like literally mop and then step. Yeah. That's a dick move. I definitely had just like, don't go in the kitchen. I just mop. You have to give it 10 minutes. Or we'd have to walk out with like,
00:19:44
Speaker
you know, the old like you you walk with like almost like you're on a skateboard with it you're a towel on both feet. Like, you oh, yeah yeah. So you like towel of a surfboard and you just like walk across to try it.
00:19:57
Speaker
That's some good shit. As of we used, they're like, if you're going to do it you have to get a towel. like But I can't. I'm in the living room and the towels aren't any your towels are over there. Oh, and I'm like, well, here you go. Or here's a couple of here's a couple of wash rags. Use those as little skate, little roller skates. And, you know, so like if that's how if we had to go out into that room,
00:20:14
Speaker
That was the requisite was like, you have to wear something on your feet or walk with something on your feet that dries it. Otherwise you're ruining my floor. It was always, you're ruining my floors. Don't ruin my floors. That's I always, I just walk on it. We mopped like less than a week ago. We've mopped the bathroom and I was like, I did it. And I um i just finished up and i'm like.
00:20:36
Speaker
Buckets on the other side of the bathroom. Guess I'm walking going across the floor. Well, who i mean What does Mbeluga say?
00:20:48
Speaker
Or are you the one that mops? She doesn't care. um usually Are you a mopper? That's kind of the one we we split 50-50. She does most of the vacuuming.
00:21:00
Speaker
If it's like a bigger floor, i'm usually the one to do like the the real mopping. She'll grab like the Swiffer thing and do like spot cleans.
00:21:11
Speaker
Not even in the wet jet, but like the the disposable wipes that you can like flip on to almost like a little squeegee. And she'll just do like a quick. But then when we're doing like an actual deep clean, I'll be the one to go in and and really mop.
00:21:26
Speaker
Gotcha. um
00:21:30
Speaker
i I discovered that I can enjoy mopping if ah my former roommate introduced me to like that mop or like in this in the other half of the bucket, there's like a an insert that's lives inside it. Like the the pulley thing to like drain. Yeah. Like, well, well, yeah, it's like a pedal and you keep pressing the pedal after you dip the mop in the bucket or they in the water. Then you put it in this like little spinny basket and it like super dries it. That way you don't just slosh and water all over. Oh, that's pretty cool.
00:22:00
Speaker
So it cleans. much faster or it dries much faster because you're using less water on the floor. um Or if you're cleaning up a mess and you have to use to dry a mop, you put it in there and then you press the pedal and it dries it uh that is a tolerable way for me to mop that like i don't feel as bad because it dries so quickly but the one thing that i can't do danny my biggest fail constantly is i always mop myself into a corner every time mop myself into a doorway or something where i'm like i don't know what to do now i just mop the floor yeah and now i'm stuck on the only dry spot on the floor i was so proud of myself when i did the bathroom because i didn't do that
00:22:41
Speaker
I have mopped it perfectly. So I was standing right outside the room when I did that final push. Sure. And then I saw the bucket on the other side of the room. and I was like, well, yeah fuck. Never mind, I guess.
00:22:52
Speaker
Yeah, the bathroom is pretty easy for me because like it's like usually there isn't a second exit in the bathroom. But it's when I have to go around the rest of the house where there's more hardwood or something to do.
00:23:03
Speaker
And I'm just like, well, I've really ruined because like I need to dump this over there. But I'm over here it's 10 bulls over there. Like what? am Like what? but's It's like one of those puzzles where you have to like press every tile without ah crossing yourself at all. Yeah, I am just at this point. I'm just like, you know what?
00:23:27
Speaker
I'm just going to just lay it on my back and just scooch my body and just dry it and then be done, which I have done several times. we have When I used to work at a ballpark in the in the back doing the concessions, every time I had this one manager, she would make me mop at the end of the night.
00:23:51
Speaker
And I was younger. i was like 16 or so. So you don't care as much about the money back then. You just want to go home at the end of the day. Sure. It's your time that you value. Right.
00:24:02
Speaker
And it would be like me and and three other guys, three other workers. And she'd be like, okay, you know, you three can go home. Dan, you have to mop.
00:24:14
Speaker
I used to get so upset about it. I was like, every time. Why is it always me that has to mop? So one day I asked her, was like, why do you always make me mom? What did I do to you? Why do you not like me?
00:24:25
Speaker
And she's like, Dan, you're an idiot. I do like you. That's why I want you to be the one to stay here while I'm here. i was like, man, that instantly turned the whole thing around.
00:24:39
Speaker
was like, oh, well, then I got your back. Wow. I was going to say, I thought she was going to, I thought she was going to, I don't like those other guys. I want them to leave. And I want to hang out with you.
00:24:52
Speaker
Cause you're the coolest of the guys. like I thought she was going to be like, well, you always mop yourself into a corner. It's just funny to watch. It's really funny. You know, like watching a hamster stuck in a maze. Like, you know, let's just see how he gets out of this. You do the same mistake every time. It's like, you don't learn.
00:25:09
Speaker
Yeah, that's how I assumed that that that story was going to go. But that's a nice. No, no. I love throwing a good curveball in there. Yeah. um So I think so. like So to the question, then.
00:25:23
Speaker
Let's just give a final answer for it. So they ask why is it is it just guilt? Do we feel bad? Is that what it is? We just feel bad that we want to. I feel I feel bad because I feel like I'm.
00:25:37
Speaker
undoing the work you just did. I'm getting my, you know, you when you mop, it's to get the dirt from people's shoes off the floor. But then as immediately after you're done mopping, I'm walking through and adding dirt back to the floor. It feels like I'm ruining something you just did.
00:25:56
Speaker
I know that's not the case. The right half gets it. The left half is like, no, no. Or is it you said earlier, one of the working titles I've chosen, which is dirt on clean water. Oh, thanks. I just I hate getting the dirt from my feet on their clean water.
00:26:15
Speaker
yeah On the clean water. It's the water I care about. It's only going to last for a while before it evaporates. The floor isn't going anywhere, but that water... It has a short life commodity. Yeah. yeah Don't waste a lot of it.
00:26:28
Speaker
This economy? You got to stretch that water. um Yeah, I think that's it. I think i think if it's at home – It's a different story. You have to talk to the person. Although ill talk to the person if it's at work.
00:26:44
Speaker
Like I said, our maintenance person just like, man, I don't care. I did because I'm supposed to when I was done. I do it the same thing tomorrow. I don't care. But for other people, it's like, I'm only going to mop once this week. And now you just made it look like ass already. And like no one else's I'm not paying anybody to do this. This is for me.
00:26:58
Speaker
So, yeah, you know, thinking about how I would react. I'm like, I wouldn't care. If I just mopped and then somebody walked through it. In fact, it's more dangerous. What we were saying before, trying to like dance and jump and, you know, finagle your way through. That's more dangerous than just walking through the damn thing.
00:27:16
Speaker
Or just put, but I think the golden rule should be depending on the size of the, of the room, the room and our rooms that you are mopping, you should have ah a ratio, a good ratio of rugs that you lay back down after you've mopped it.
00:27:38
Speaker
So that way, passers by can platform their way. Yeah. from Where they need to go. And the rugs will help pick up any dirt from their shoes before they get to the floor. Yeah. And like a welcome mat.
00:27:51
Speaker
And the rugs preserve the clean water underneath it longer.
00:27:58
Speaker
What is preserving the, what are you, what are you, what is, what are you disgusted about? Mold. You rug, mold can't stick to rugs. That's why they're called rugs.
00:28:09
Speaker
That's not. it What you talking about? What does that even mean? Mold can't stick to rugs. That's why they're called rugs. Rugs can't have, what do you mean? I've never seen a moldy rug in my life. What are you talking about?
00:28:24
Speaker
Rugs are made to not, rugs are made. But okay. the Rugs are the anti mold. What do you mean? They're called rugs because of that.
00:28:35
Speaker
What does the word rug have anything to do with that? rug is it's yeah it's like short for a rugged, like it's meant to last. And, you know and so water mold can't stick to a rug.
00:28:51
Speaker
Right. Rug means like, ah, you can't. You know, yeah water mold wishes. That's what mug means. All right. Thank you all so very much for watching. Listening.
00:29:03
Speaker
Rug means. I'm glad to know that our first stream is broken. My brain so completely. It means rugged use. Yet.
00:29:15
Speaker
sloppy, right? Like, like it doesn't you can do. Yeah, it's rugged use gets sloppy. It's rugged usage gets sloppy. There's no.
00:29:31
Speaker
I'm just saying I've never seen mold stick to a rug, and there's a reason is because rug is the opposite of mold.
00:29:39
Speaker
I've never seen it in my life. Never. I can't argue with the with logic. with Have you ever seen mold on a rug? I haven't. I've seen mold under rugs.
00:29:52
Speaker
No way. But it's not on the rug. No, but you said it it covers the water and preserves it. It preserves the clean water longer.
00:30:05
Speaker
But the mold's not going to get under there. It's a rug. Nothing gets under a rug unless you're sweeping something under it to hide it. That's well, maybe I'm doing that with the ball.
00:30:16
Speaker
Well, if the mold was already there and you swept it under the rug, that's different. It didn't form under there. You put it there. Right. but But then the mold immediately dies because the rug is the anti mold.
00:30:33
Speaker
I it's the same reason why I don't wash my sheets, right? You just throw them away once you've made them really gross and then you buy a new set. You don't wash sheets. That's crazy. What a waste of water. What a waste of clean water that you could put under your rugs instead. ever heard of self-cleaning underwear?
00:30:51
Speaker
Because you're giving you're giving self-cleaning underwear right now. No, I haven't heard of self-cleaning underwear. I just you just wear them until they wear out and then you set them on fire. yes It was a thing I read about where there was so ah silver, I believe, inside of this underwear, like the strands of silver in the the weave of the underwear. And the idea was that it was antibacterial.
00:31:16
Speaker
So basically you never had to change or clean your underwear because it would sterilize your gooch, I guess. Huh.
00:31:28
Speaker
I might need a fact checking on that one, but like you're giving strong self-cleaning underwear vibes. That'd be awesome, though. It would be. I wonder why it never took off.
00:31:42
Speaker
Well, because you have to factor in for leakage. What if there's leaks? Or if someone doesn't wipe? Do you think maybe they're not machine washable, too, because of the silver? maybe uh or maybe it caused some sort of shortage for like werewolf hunters and we had to give it back they're like hey you're really good into business yeah but like what about streakers and such what about what you know streakers people who leave the streaks in their in their in their gutchies like there's a whole community of men and probably some women who don't wipe their ass dude yeah no
00:32:19
Speaker
Right. I've been over this. We know ah go of this podcast was wipe your ass. Yeah. So I just you know what happens if you don't wipe your ass.
00:32:32
Speaker
You become ah piece of shit this year. Good segue, Danny. Thank you. You live as that you you become become the piece of shit.
00:32:42
Speaker
you You become the dingleberry. You are become what you smell of. Yeah, and trust me, people smell it. People will know eventually, and no one's ever going to want to put their face down there, that's for sure.
00:32:57
Speaker
Nobody's to land on that moon. No one's going to land on that moon. I was just about to say that. No one's going to land on that moon. This fucking cat. Shut up, I'm recording a podcast. i can't even hear the cat. I wouldn't have even known if he hadn't said anything.
00:33:09
Speaker
Oh, you don't hear that? No. well Well, get back in here. Come i want to go Come here then, and get on camera so that people will watch. I was going to say, I'd love to put her on camera, but the moment I approach her, she's going to run because she thinks I'm going to feed her.
00:33:23
Speaker
And it's not your food time yet. shit I'm going to see. She's going to run downstairs. I know it. Come here. I hope we get to see the cat. Maybe we'll meet Hitch too at some point. That'd be cool.
00:33:35
Speaker
ah For those who can't see anything. Oh! Oh my god, he's got the cat! For the video watchers. This is Dionysus. Look at the cat! Oh, he does not want to be here. She wants to go get... He does not want to be in your arms at all.
00:33:51
Speaker
Don't eat his ear. I eat her ear all the time. She's a jerk. Now you're trapped in here! and There's no escape now!
00:34:03
Speaker
Just put your fingers, your paws... under the Oh, Jesus Christ. Just get out
00:34:10
Speaker
out. That's the fucking cat. It's always disrupting my day. Anyway, such a couple more like was it was a gray cat. Her name is Dionysus. She is a real shithead and she's had a lot of problems with thinking she needs to eat more than she should be eating. And so even after she eats, she just bothers everybody.
00:34:29
Speaker
So I've become the disciplinarian of the house. Uncle Adam corrects her now. she is very cute she is cute and she's pretty and she's very soft but she's also an asshole as um as our cats yeah um oh before we wrap up with being a piece of shit this year i wanted to do a little call out to one of our listeners and one of our friends um Danny, do you remember when I told that story some time ago about the show the snow shoveling and the parking, the car and everything? Yes.
00:35:05
Speaker
And the gar the wonderful Garcia family across the street. um Well, one of our listeners reached out to me at one point and through like a similar incident through like some other relations of ours,
00:35:20
Speaker
they were also having a similar but issue of like, I feel mad, but I don't know why I'm mad. And I feel like I need to gear up to do a fight or something like that. And then...
00:35:32
Speaker
they heard that story that you and I were chit chatting about and they were like, Oh, Hey, maybe that's what's going on with me. And then eventually they reached out to me to kind of talk about that because I was, I was the party that they thought they were mad at, which was really fun to learn. Oh, that's interesting. It was like, it was just like a misunderstanding of just, know, things that were going on and, and stuff like that.
00:35:52
Speaker
And so like, you know, I just didn't feel right. And I was trying to figure out what to do about it. And then I heard that and i was like, maybe that's me. So anyway, i just want to just, I don't know. I don't want to get too deep into the weeds because that's their story just to, to, to share.
00:36:03
Speaker
But, um, I just thought that was really nice to hear that. Like when you, when you have those, ah those moments of realization that like, wow, I think I'm the asshole, you know, like or like am I the baddie?
00:36:21
Speaker
Right. Am I the am I the am I the am what was the other one? Am I the angel um that like it's nice. I had the reason why wanted to bring it up was not to first of all, to thank them for letting me know, but that like, oh, hey, this was the thing that kind of helped me realize that I was also going through this.
00:36:39
Speaker
But i after we had that conversation, it popped back up into my head the other day when I was pretending to work. And I was sitting there just kind of like zoning out. And i had an interesting ah message. So in in in addition to not being a piece of shit this year, I had the realization that the reason why that was so difficult for me to even accept after the fact Was because i was having a hard time just admitting that I fucked up in the first place.
00:37:10
Speaker
Or I was having a hard time swallowing my pride of being like, okay, clearly I was in the wrong here. Or what was worse was i always felt, there's a lot of people who probably feel this way, that I thought I was above those feelings. thought I was like, I already know I'm emotionally mature.
00:37:25
Speaker
Like I understand how these things happen, but like, you don't realize sometimes that like before you realize it's happening, you're already living in it. And like, you're, you're like, it took me days and to exhaust myself to realize what I was doing and to be humbled almost immediately after.
00:37:41
Speaker
um So, like, i just it just it was a very humbling feeling. And so, like, I just want to be like, in lieu of not being a piece of shit, not in lieu, in addition to being a piece, not, no, not being a piece of shit. In addition to maybe not being a B. Yeah, maybe don't be in a. Let me it again.
00:37:58
Speaker
Don't be a piece of shit this year. And also. There you go. Don't be afraid to admit when you fuck up. It takes a lot of strength to do that. And also recognize that you are not above certain feelings.
00:38:12
Speaker
And that is what I think a lot of people will use to lash out at others because like they probably know they're wrong, but they push it to someone else and they're mean or they. get violent or something. There's a lot of strength. And I'm not just saying this about me, but like, you know, I had to hear from other people to even recognize it.
00:38:29
Speaker
But there's power in being like, oh, I really goofed up on that one or, oh, I'm not above that. But like now that I'm aware that it happened, I can look out for it next time. And it's it's a lot harder to see and a lot easier of a trap to fall into than you realize. Like oh yeah everybody likes to say, ah you were saying, like I'm above that. I, I can recognize when this is happening, but the one thing with anything mental is you're always gonna, you're almost always going to think it's normal because that's just how you're thinking.
00:39:05
Speaker
So like, it's hard just if, You have even an inkling. Just take a second, take a step back and and see. Am I the asshole? ah Did I mess up? Whatever. Try and take that real honest look because it is Don't just take it for granted. Like, oh, I would know if it was me. You know, I'm I'm really good at that self-reflection stuff.
00:39:28
Speaker
Yeah, it's a big, it's a kick in the pants when that happens. And I was just thinking about it again recently because just that conversation, sometimes things just like creep back up in my head. And like, man, that really was a weird time. And I'm so glad that they brought that up because it was really helpful for me to reminisce on it again and be like, okay, have I been doing that?
00:39:46
Speaker
oh Oh, and this was other thing I wanted to remember was That just what you were saying, like you think you're above it. I know. I was just like, I'm not an asshole. Like I know, I know when I'm getting revved up and I know when I need to like calm down or go take a walk. And sometimes I do, but other times stuff like that, like I said, in the story, it was a lot of other things that were adding up.
00:40:07
Speaker
that I didn't realize were kind of really what the problem was. And this was just the thing I was expelling it on. um But it was having Hitch around, having a friend who was watching it.
00:40:19
Speaker
And it took me to sit down with him and be like, okay, I know you've just been kind of like agreeing with me because I've been angry. But like, what have I been like the past couple of days? You know, and like, just let that, just having an external person.
00:40:30
Speaker
Be like, you know what, just give it to me straight. Like, you know, be honest with me. And then if you do that, open the floor up, you have to just take it not be not be defensive. Like, what have I been looking like to you? What has it been sounding like to you? Because hearing them finally say like, you know what, I just, it didn't seem like that big of a deal. So I just want to let you just vent it out.
00:40:48
Speaker
that like now that we're talking about it, yeah, I was really confused as to why this was such a big deal for you. And I was like, thank you for saying that. Cause I was just like really having a crisis. yeah Sometimes you really, you just need another pair of eyes or something to put things into perspective. Like it's your, you know, you're the main character of your own story. Something that seems giant to you from the outside where you can get a better look at the whole picture is like, dude, it's really not that important. It just feels like it. Cause it's,
00:41:18
Speaker
such a big part of your life, if that makes sense. Yeah. what Yeah. It's really the perspective is different because you often can't address a problem when you're Like part of it. Have you ever, you ever think about the original Mario brothers video game where you play it as a side scrolling platformer, but if you're just, but the game is so much different when you play it from behind Mario's back, you see a lot more things you interact with so much more of the world. then other games are different. When you see it top down, you see more of the world. Probably you see behind your character when in real life, you wouldn't see behind you at all.
00:41:49
Speaker
Right. So like there's just these different perspectives. like, it's easier to problem solve when you have, when you can zoom out, to the issue, right? Like even the side scroller, you can see behind Mario if something's back there coming back at you or otherwise he doesn't have eyes in the back of his head. How does he know to jump right now? um You know, so yeah, having those perspectives and someone that you trust to just be like, hey man,
00:42:11
Speaker
Now that you're a little bit more calm, can we talk about that? But also if you want to work on your own emotional development, be like, I've been really angry. I should talk to somebody now that like, I'm cool. Have I been an asshole? Like, you know, don't don't tell me what I want to hear. Like, give it to me straight, you know, because you don't need somebody like a yes man. Like you mentioned like AI and stuff like that. yeah, no, that's the worst thing we can do.
00:42:33
Speaker
One of the most valuable things you can have in your in your social network is someone who will just call you on your bullshit or at least let you know once you're in a moment. Yeah. and And don't take it personally. If somebody says, yeah, you've been kind of a dick lately. Like that's not them making fun of you. That's not them telling you you are a dick. It just them saying like, yeah, for whatever reason, you've been acting kind of like a dick lately. And this is me trying to tell you to stop you from making it worse.
00:43:03
Speaker
Right. You know, that this is me helping. And then you take that feedback and you say, OK, maybe I won't be a piece of shit this year. Right. You've been playing the part of a piece of shit, but that doesn't mean you are a piece of shit. and Right. Well, it's the same thing with like making a silly mistake or doing something stupid. That doesn't mean you are stupid.
00:43:22
Speaker
It means you had a stupid moment. You did one thing that is stupid or silly or an asshole move. It happens. Everybody makes mistakes. Half the time, you might even think you're doing something good until the consequences show up. In hindsight, it's 2020.
00:43:38
Speaker
It just is what it is. You're going to make mistakes. You're going hurt people. It's how you handle it when you find out that really that's what I would judge. Right.
00:43:49
Speaker
If you find out you hurt somebody and you're like, well, I got mine. Fuck you. You're dick. If you hurt somebody and when you find out, you're like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't. That was never my intention. i didn't plan for this.
00:44:03
Speaker
You're not a dick. You did something that was a dick move, but you're not a dick. And it happened. That's that's how you determine if you're a piece of shit or if you're just acting like one. You know, it's OK to go without auditioning. It's OK to act like.
00:44:18
Speaker
to to make piece of shit mistakes every once in a while. But maybe this year, don't be one. Just don't be a piece of shit. Yeah, it's OK to accidentally dip your toe in the shit lake. It's it happens even to me.
00:44:32
Speaker
And I'm right. If you see an ad online that says, hey, kid, you would click this box to be a piece of shit. Oh, yeah. yeah Oh, don't do that. Don't do don't click the box.
00:44:46
Speaker
Don't go on Indeed.com. Don't go on LinkedIn and apply be a piece of shit this year. Right? you You don't want to do... Oh, no, Danny. I'm getting real desperate.
00:45:00
Speaker
Getting paid to be a piece of shit, it even works. It would be awful. Unless you're an actor. <unk> Like, you're really good at it. we We record these...
00:45:11
Speaker
Generally on Fridays and on Thursdays, Mbeluga and I stream D&D. And in our current D&D campaign, my character is a piece of shit.
00:45:23
Speaker
He is. I hate him as a person. joe knows You chose that line. know. Well, because I don't want to always play as, you know, me or the nice guy or funny, silly guy.
00:45:37
Speaker
I like to change it up. And this has happened more than once where I purposely had like talked to our DM and said, Hey, can we, can my character leave and I make a new one? Or like if my character happens to get into death defying instance, don't fudge the roles and make up stuff to save them. Let them die. Because honestly, I hate them and I want to play someone else.
00:46:00
Speaker
Luckily I found a good middle ground with this character, but yeah, I, I hate him. He is, He's a piece of shit and I would not want to hang out with him ever. Will there be a redemption arc? We don't know.
00:46:13
Speaker
Maybe someday. Maybe someday or maybe he's just, hey, maybe he's just a piece of shit. Maybe I'm just a piece of shit this year, but next year, maybe not. This is where I'm getting my shit out. You know? Yeah.
00:46:26
Speaker
He's my toilet. that That's where my shit goes. Yeah.
00:46:31
Speaker
And you can be as loud and free as you want be. I as disgusting as I want. Shit free or die hard in your tableto tabletop role playing game. Born to shit, forced to wipe.
00:46:42
Speaker
Right. um Well, having said that, everybody, thank you so much for listening and watching if you're watching the VOD afterwards. um Maybe we'll get more participation on the, you know, again, we don't advertise that we're doing it. We're doing it more so just to capture the video and a really easy way to upload to our channel.
00:47:01
Speaker
But that would be fun. Plus, editing takes them along and we butre I barely edit this show anyway. So like there doesn't we wanted to see each other. you when you're so for those of you who are listening, go check out the VOD if you want to see what we look like or if you just want to see the cat ah find the hour mark or when the marker time slot, what the fuck is called.
00:47:21
Speaker
Uh, when a timestamp, timestamp, timestamp, that's where to tell Like it was like 40 minutes in. So like, you know, look 40 ish minutes and you'll see the, you'll see a cat. It'll be obvious. She's there. She's cute.
00:47:32
Speaker
Everybody likes a cat, right? yeah Go see the cat. Yeah. I love, I love. There's your title. Look at the cat. There's a cat. look yeah look Look at the cat. look at the cat to the listeners who can't look at the cat. yeah My current working titles Volvap's Fart and Like Dirt on Clean Water.
00:47:50
Speaker
um That's the two but that i have right now. And I can't decide which title want to go. Oh, God. I'll let you decide. That's what I have so far. I really like Volvap's Fart.
00:48:06
Speaker
Volvap's Fart.
00:48:11
Speaker
My book goes to Volvap's fart. What's Pavlov's vote backwards? Volvap. That should be your next D&D character. Play Volvap. Volvap? Yeah. Yes, my name is Volvap Fart.
00:48:22
Speaker
And you're just trying to train people with farts? Every time you hear a fart, your mouth waters? Because that's when you feed people. How did you know? Every time I hear a fart, man, I drool. It's crazy. Whenever you think you hear someone sneaking up behind you, you must fart.
00:48:41
Speaker
Mm hmm. There's there's a character arc there. um I can. Hey, everybody. Thanks for listening. Before we wrap up, ah you know, with our experiment and our eight. There's our 80th episode, by the way. I don't know if we saw that. But the 80th episode of the podcast. Damn.
00:48:57
Speaker
Yeah. So, hey, ah that's cool. And ah so, Danny, would you like to say the things that you like to say? I would love to.
00:49:08
Speaker
Hey, everybody. I'm Danny and you can see me now. And I wanted to thank you all so much for listening or watching or both, whatever floats your boat. I don't give a shit. You can go both ways. It's fine. i Yeah, I'm fine with that. There's no judgment here. Uh, but thank you for checking us out. We want to know your feedback based on, you know, if you do check out the VOD, if you like the layout, is there something you think we could change or should change? Did you like it better when we were just disembodied voices and you didn't see our ugly mugs? Too bad. I like it.
00:49:41
Speaker
um But yeah, i we appreciate you so much for listening. ah We do this just to bring smiles to the world and little spread a little happiness. We think this will be a good next step for that.
00:49:54
Speaker
And we just wanted to tell you that we love you.
00:49:59
Speaker
Do we? Yes, I do. We they we don't care what Adam says. I love you. I forgot. My name says dad. I'm up. there Oh, that's right. You're dad. I'm sorry. I don't care what dad um says. I still don't know where the apostrophe should go in dad. But like i I have it after the dad. i don't think it's great. feeling like That's all right.
00:50:20
Speaker
Because my name is Adam. So I never know if the apostrophe should go after the D. Well, I guess it always does. But after the first, it does go after the D. Yeah. if Go after the D. That's what we say right here in Syracuse. Go after the D no matter what you're into.
00:50:34
Speaker
That makes me want to say to Adam.
00:50:39
Speaker
Like you're Adam. No, just Adam. The apostrophe takes the place of the other letters and you just say it in a row. Adam. When I hear when I have an apostrophe in the middle of the word, i kind of want to break it up just a little bit. So it's like it would be Adam for me, like.
00:50:57
Speaker
O'Connor or. Well, O'Connor's different because like there's. The O is. Or like D'Angelo.
00:51:08
Speaker
D'Angelo. You wouldn't say D'Angelo. You would say D'Angelo. I've never seen D'Angelo. It's always been like D-I or D-E-Angelo. no I mean, I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. Let us know in the comments. Should it be D-A-D apostrophe A-M or D-A-P-O-S-H-H-I-O?
00:51:26
Speaker
Or should we take the apostrophe out and then just say datum? Just say datum. Just say datum. Let us know what you think. There is a right answer and it's what you see right here. But, you know...
00:51:38
Speaker
Let us know. Listen, reach out to us on FundusLargeNetwork.biz. Send us a message. Let us know. Or you can leave comments on the YouTube and let us know what you think, ah how datum should be spelled. I'm really trying to lean into it this year.
00:51:54
Speaker
you haven't gotten unk yet, so I'm going for datum. You got unk once already. yeah way Yeah, by a stranger, but I'm hoping to get more unk going on. I'm hoping to just get people I know. just I don't know if unk is good anymore.
00:52:06
Speaker
I don't know if I can call you Unk as an Unk myself.
00:52:11
Speaker
I don't know if he carries the weight that way. Yeah, we could be Unks from other Monks. Unks from other Monks?
00:52:23
Speaker
Uncle from another Monkle? Uncle from another Uncle.
00:52:32
Speaker
And we have a late entry to the title competition. Jesus Christ. I can't, I can't fill up my notebook with more titles. I'm not going to use. I only have this little thing right here.
00:52:44
Speaker
Um, anyway, listen, everybody, thank you for listening. like Thank you for watching. Thank you for being here. And, before we wrap up, just, you know, to do the thing, if you want to review the show,
00:52:58
Speaker
ah do it on whatever your podcast listening of choice app is. Some of them let you do that. Now you can go to pod chaser.com and find TOQ and leave reviews on your favorite episodes. um Or if nothing else, if you could just tell somebody like, Hey, if you want to chill podcast, it lasts between 20 minutes and maybe an hour and 20 minutes, depending on how much of a role the boys get on.
00:53:21
Speaker
This would be great for a road trip. If you want to watch Danny Ogle, his wife and his wife's girlfriend off camera, You can do that too. so Danny, I wish I had that as a still. You need to take a screenshot of your face.
00:53:38
Speaker
That's like a meme worthy, like just like thing. right Anyway, from the bottom of my heart to the top of yours, take care of your mind, take care of your hearts.
00:53:48
Speaker
And most importantly, take care of each other and we'll see you all next time. Goodbye.