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For Those who suck at Setting Goals image

For Those who suck at Setting Goals

Dirty Briefs with Alex Hooper
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73 Plays1 year ago

Are you terrible at writing down what you want to achieve? Me too! I shut down and clam up when I have to hold myself accountable. Here's a few tricks I've picked up so I don't claw out my own eyeballs every time I think about goals. It's a new year. What a time to practice what we preach.

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Find Alex:

Website: https://www.hoopercomedy.com/

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https://twitter.com/hooperhairpuff

https://www.facebook.com/alex.hooper.334/

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Transcript

Introduction and Reflection on Podcasting

00:00:01
Speaker
Big week, everybody, and I will get to why in just a couple of minutes.
00:00:08
Speaker
But first, welcome back to Dirty Briefs, episode 51.
00:00:13
Speaker
Yeah, we're almost at a whole year of this podcast.
00:00:18
Speaker
Have you listened to all of them?
00:00:19
Speaker
Some of them?
00:00:21
Speaker
None of them?
00:00:22
Speaker
Whatever it is, I am so glad you're here.
00:00:24
Speaker
My name's Alex Hooper, and...

Struggles with Goal Setting

00:00:27
Speaker
It is the second week of 2024, and because of that, I want to talk about goal setting.
00:00:36
Speaker
Something I suck at.
00:00:39
Speaker
Yes, I am admitting it.
00:00:41
Speaker
I am being vulnerable.
00:00:43
Speaker
I am terrible at setting goals.
00:00:45
Speaker
In fact, a few days ago, I sat down with my wife to talk about what I wanted to accomplish in 2024.
00:00:55
Speaker
And the first thing I said was, well, I want to be the best comedian I can be.
00:01:01
Speaker
And she said, well, that's not specific enough.
00:01:04
Speaker
And I said, okay, I want to sell out comedy clubs all over the country.
00:01:10
Speaker
And she said, okay, well, how are you going to do that?

Realization and Need for Specific Goals

00:01:14
Speaker
And then I said, well, I also want to write a book.
00:01:18
Speaker
And she said, is that the most important thing that you want to accomplish this year?
00:01:24
Speaker
So basically...
00:01:27
Speaker
goal that I had, she had a response to that, I will just let you know, made me shut down, want to run away, want to crawl into the deepest parts of myself and just go to sleep.
00:01:44
Speaker
I struggle with this because anytime...
00:01:49
Speaker
somebody asked me about my goals and about specificity, I don't really know what to say because I don't know how to do that.
00:01:58
Speaker
I admit for years, I have been throwing spaghetti against the wall, hoping it sticks, but not even cooking it.
00:02:07
Speaker
I'm working hard, but not working smart.
00:02:12
Speaker
And I
00:02:13
Speaker
I want to get out of my own stubborn ways.
00:02:16
Speaker
I want to change my habits and I know I can.
00:02:20
Speaker
It's that feeling I get when I'm doing something new and scary, when I know it's going to take work and I just want to pack up all my shit and just dig myself out of it and just shut down.

Understanding SMART Goals

00:02:34
Speaker
But I can't do that.
00:02:36
Speaker
I understand that my goals are too vague and that is a pitfall that a lot of people fall into because how do you accomplish a goal if you can't even say how you're going to get to the goal?
00:02:52
Speaker
A friend of mine just taught me about an acronym for goal setting.
00:02:56
Speaker
And it's SMART.
00:02:58
Speaker
S-M-A-R-T.
00:03:00
Speaker
S, specific.
00:03:03
Speaker
M, measurable.
00:03:05
Speaker
A, attainable.
00:03:07
Speaker
R, relevant.
00:03:08
Speaker
T, time bound.
00:03:12
Speaker
Specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time bound.
00:03:16
Speaker
SMART.
00:03:17
Speaker
And that's when I realized, wow, none of what I just said
00:03:21
Speaker
can fit into any of those categories.
00:03:24
Speaker
Except for attainable, like a couple of them, maybe, but I need to figure out how I'm going to do that.

Daily Practices for Goal Achievement

00:03:32
Speaker
So, what I'm doing each day is I'm whittling them down.
00:03:38
Speaker
I realize that
00:03:40
Speaker
Maybe I don't have a specific goal or actions to get there.
00:03:45
Speaker
But when I'm in my meditations, when I'm doing my morning pages, one of the things I'm doing is I'm writing down little things that I can do each day.
00:03:55
Speaker
I journal every day.
00:03:56
Speaker
Last year, I journaled over 300 pages.
00:03:58
Speaker
That was a great thing.
00:04:00
Speaker
So this year I said, great.
00:04:01
Speaker
Let's journal at least another 300 pages.
00:04:04
Speaker
That's one goal.
00:04:05
Speaker
But at the bottom of each page, what I'm doing is I'm saying, okay, well, what do you need to do today?
00:04:10
Speaker
Oh, I want to sell out my show at the improv.
00:04:13
Speaker
So I'm going to text 25 people individually with personalized messages, telling them that it's happening because they're not always going to see what it is on social media.
00:04:23
Speaker
What else do I need to do?
00:04:24
Speaker
Oh, I'm going to text 25 people.
00:04:26
Speaker
I need to contact my producer and director about the special taping next week to make sure there's nothing else I can do in that regard.
00:04:34
Speaker
What else do I need to do?
00:04:36
Speaker
I need to film and upload a dirty brief.
00:04:38
Speaker
I need to edit a standup clip.
00:04:40
Speaker
These are all little things that I can do.
00:04:44
Speaker
And as I check each one off the list, it makes me feel a little bit better.
00:04:50
Speaker
And hopefully, slowly but surely, by doing this,
00:04:55
Speaker
it will lead to my goals being smart, specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time bound.

Impact of Small Decisions

00:05:07
Speaker
With every action I make, I try to think to myself, is this nudging me closer to what I want, to the life I want to live?
00:05:20
Speaker
A few years ago, you know I love self-help books.
00:05:23
Speaker
I read a self-help book that I really, really, it spoke to me.
00:05:30
Speaker
It was called The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson.
00:05:33
Speaker
And essentially, the concept behind The Slight Edge is that with every decision we make, we are either ticking up or ticking down.
00:05:41
Speaker
And at the beginning of a timeline, the people that are ticking up with every single choice they make and the people that are ticking down, you don't really notice anything.
00:05:50
Speaker
They're both staying here.
00:05:51
Speaker
But eventually, the people that are making good decisions are going to start going this way.
00:05:57
Speaker
The people who are not making good decisions are going to start going this way.
00:05:59
Speaker
that way.
00:06:00
Speaker
And so eventually what starts as an even plane is going to get bigger and bigger and bigger in the gap.
00:06:08
Speaker
So what I'm trying to tell myself and what I urge you to tell yourself with every decision you make, is this getting me closer to my goal?

Balancing Goals with Leisure

00:06:19
Speaker
Now, that doesn't mean you can't fuck off.
00:06:21
Speaker
That doesn't mean you can't eat a giant hamburger instead of a salad.
00:06:25
Speaker
It doesn't mean you can't go to the movies instead of writing up a business proposal.
00:06:30
Speaker
You can do those things.
00:06:31
Speaker
You need to do those things.
00:06:33
Speaker
Sometimes you got to give yourself a break.
00:06:35
Speaker
But overall, are the decisions you're making getting you closer to what you want?
00:06:44
Speaker
Maybe I don't have a clear goal.
00:06:46
Speaker
Maybe you don't.
00:06:47
Speaker
But one thing I'm asking myself every day, am I a little bit better than I was yesterday?
00:06:53
Speaker
Am I taking the time to take care of my body, my mind, my soul?
00:06:59
Speaker
Am I doing things that push me out of my comfort zone?
00:07:05
Speaker
I feel like last year was my recovery year.
00:07:08
Speaker
I was all about bouncing back.
00:07:10
Speaker
Well, this year is about leaping forward.
00:07:12
Speaker
That's what I named my journal, Leap Forward.
00:07:14
Speaker
And when I had this conversation with my wife,
00:07:17
Speaker
I got scared because suddenly I was like, am I just floating and waiting for things to happen to me?
00:07:25
Speaker
Am I thinking about all a magical, am I magically thinking, waiting for someone else to give me the opportunity because I've worked so hard over the years.
00:07:36
Speaker
I've been so nice to people.
00:07:38
Speaker
Won't my talent shine through?
00:07:40
Speaker
Why won't people validate me?
00:07:43
Speaker
Please.
00:07:45
Speaker
That's not going to get me anywhere.
00:07:47
Speaker
Action is what will get me somewhere.
00:07:49
Speaker
Little tiny things.
00:07:52
Speaker
Doing this podcast is an action that I have taken for almost a full year.
00:08:00
Speaker
And the fact that you're here listening to it shows that it's working.
00:08:04
Speaker
It's allowing me to do something.
00:08:07
Speaker
It's forcing me to be creative, to create it, release it, stop giving a fuck.
00:08:15
Speaker
Is this getting me closer to what I want?
00:08:20
Speaker
I hope so.
00:08:23
Speaker
I think it is.
00:08:24
Speaker
Slowly but surely, every little step I take.

Commitment to Self-Improvement

00:08:32
Speaker
Whether it's going for a walk instead of laying on the couch or
00:08:37
Speaker
Doing a few pushups every single day.
00:08:40
Speaker
Choosing to listen to my sets in my stand-up every single day so I can prepare myself, so I can write new jokes, so I can refine what I'm doing, so I can be the best version of myself.
00:08:53
Speaker
Because I know you feel the same way.
00:08:57
Speaker
You want to be the best version of yourself.
00:08:59
Speaker
It's easy to be a piece of shit.
00:09:02
Speaker
I know.
00:09:03
Speaker
We fall into these habits and it's so fucking simple because it demands that we just crawl deeper into the hole.
00:09:15
Speaker
But get a little uncomfortable.
00:09:17
Speaker
Surprise yourself because that's what's going to make you feel better.
00:09:20
Speaker
And if you write down a couple things every day and then you do them and you can check them off the list, you're going to feel a lot better.

Career Milestones Announcement

00:09:30
Speaker
Now, this is a big week, everybody.
00:09:34
Speaker
This week, I am taping my special at the Bijou Theater in Bridgeport, Connecticut.
00:09:40
Speaker
January 12th, Friday.
00:09:41
Speaker
Two shows, a 7 and a 9.30.
00:09:46
Speaker
So, tickets are available.
00:09:48
Speaker
Please go get them.
00:09:50
Speaker
We're going to fill that place up.
00:09:51
Speaker
This is big, everybody.
00:09:53
Speaker
This is a huge moment for me.
00:09:56
Speaker
This is me trying to tick up in the right direction.
00:09:59
Speaker
This is going to propel me to that next level.
00:10:02
Speaker
Also, this Wednesday, January 10th, McGubbies in Baltimore.
00:10:06
Speaker
That's my final performance before I tape the special.
00:10:09
Speaker
And that's my hometown.
00:10:10
Speaker
So I expect to sell really well there.
00:10:13
Speaker
And I'm excited to play this new club.
00:10:15
Speaker
One of my goals this year, play five new clubs.
00:10:17
Speaker
Well, that's one right there.

Closing Motivation and Personal Growth

00:10:20
Speaker
I've never played in Connecticut.
00:10:22
Speaker
There's another state checked off my list.
00:10:24
Speaker
These are things that are adding to my soul.
00:10:29
Speaker
What are you going to do for yourself?
00:10:32
Speaker
It is a new year and you can decide which way you want to go.
00:10:37
Speaker
Tick up or tick down.
00:10:42
Speaker
One way you will ascend.
00:10:44
Speaker
The other way you're eventually going to crash.
00:10:46
Speaker
So make that choice, everybody.
00:10:49
Speaker
Gosh, I'm so happy to be here with you.
00:10:51
Speaker
Thanks for listening.
00:10:53
Speaker
I love you.