Transcript
Speaker: It's winter, everybody, and it is getting cold.
Speaker: But it will never be as cold outside as you are cold to yourself.
Speaker: Even if you are the chillest person in the world, you're still going to chill your soul with crushing self-doubt.
Speaker: Ooh.
Speaker: No one's an immune.
Speaker: And that's what we're talking about this week on Dirty Briefs, everyone.
Speaker: Because last night, I sold out the Hollywood Improv Lab, which was a big moment for me.
Speaker: I was running my special, and I did everything I could to sell this thing out.
Speaker: I texted friends.
Speaker: I shared it a bunch of times.
Speaker: I was adamant to get
Speaker: pack this club.
Speaker: And I did.
Speaker: And because of that, the show was stupendous.
Speaker: I was in a flow state.
Speaker: I was just shucking and jiving and just cruising from one bit to the next, cohesion at a maximum.
Speaker: And it made me so ready to film this special.
Speaker: But with any big project coming up, anxiety,
Speaker: is sure to creep in.
Speaker: That little voice is going to say, is this good enough?
Speaker: Because I think it sucks.
Speaker: Because you suck.
Speaker: Self-doubt is a scab.
Speaker: No matter how many times you pick it, it always grows back.
Speaker: But that's because we aren't supposed to tear off that hardened, crusty mess.
Speaker: We're supposed to let it heal.
Speaker: But if you're like me, you can't help but pick at a scab any time it comes up.
Speaker: And the truth is, I knew this voice was going to come in telling me, Alex, this special isn't good enough.
Speaker: You could work harder on it.
Speaker: The material just isn't there.
Speaker: But I knew this was going to happen.
Speaker: I knew it.
Speaker: And honestly, if that little voice didn't start screaming at me, I would be more concerned.
Speaker: Because I don't know how you operate, but I look at nerves as a good thing.
Speaker: Nerves transmute into positive energy.
Speaker: That's how I become electric on stage.
Speaker: The negativity and the nerves are what drive me to perform at my highest level.
Speaker: I don't ever want to become comfortable before I walk on stage.
Speaker: I want to be sitting in the corner looking at my notes going, God, this is going to be terrible.
Speaker: No one's going to like it.
Speaker: Once again, I am a fraud and everyone's going to know it.
Speaker: That's how I know I'm about to step on stage and do something amazing.
Speaker: Because all that feeling inside, the second I get up there, the fear turns into this energy that
Speaker: that then I push out of me onto the crowd and I can see it hit every individual person.
Speaker: And suddenly we are all in this bubble together.
Speaker: We are all coalescing into something more for that moment.
Speaker: That's why I like nerves.
Speaker: They are the kerosene that lights me on fire so I can burn as brightly as possible.
Speaker: And no, that's not why my eczema is always flared up.
Speaker: At least I don't think so.
Speaker: but I like big moments.
Speaker: I really like them.
Speaker: I try to tell myself this is when I should truly enjoy it.
Speaker: I remember standing and 2017, I did roast battle season two on comedy central.
Speaker: And I was waiting for the doors to open up, to walk onto that stage to battle.
Speaker: And I remember telling myself, Alex, I'm,
Speaker: This is what it's all for, for moments like this, for moments when you have worked so hard and the validation is coming.
Speaker: And now the cameras are on, the crowd is on fire.
Speaker: Everyone's ready for you to come out there and do what you do best.
Speaker: And I told myself, just smile and enjoy the moment.
Speaker: And I did.
Speaker: That's what I do every single time.
Speaker: Past evidence proves I will rise up.
Speaker: You want to crush self-doubt?
Speaker: Look at past evidence.
Speaker: Look at all the times you've been successful.
Speaker: There are so many occurrences where you have gone beyond yourself and gone past what you thought you could accomplish, but you did it.
Speaker: You did it.
Speaker: And look at those moments.
Speaker: This is a week because I'm doing something so large that I've been thinking about for a while.
Speaker: Filming a special that's going to be released to a mass audience.
Speaker: And I don't know where it's going to be released yet.
Speaker: That will come in time.
Speaker: But I need to surround myself with people who support me.
Speaker: I don't want to compare myself to others.
Speaker: I've been watching a lot of specials to try to see what I like and what I don't so I can put all the best parts into mine.
Speaker: But I'm not comparing myself.
Speaker: You can't because you're the only one that's you and you're the best you.
Speaker: You're also the worst you, but let's focus on the fact that you're the best you.
Speaker: Confidence.
Speaker: It's not arrogance.
Speaker: It's confidence.
Speaker: And there is a huge difference because arrogance means you are into yourself and that you think you are absolutely better than everybody.
Speaker: That's not what I am.
Speaker: And I know that's not what you are, but confidence tells you yes, yes.
Speaker: I'm ready for this.
Speaker: I have done the work to get on, get out there and show people what I'm made of.
Speaker: Now, I feel very ready.
Speaker: I do.
Speaker: I've been all around the country.
Speaker: In 2023, working on my recovery, but at the same time working on putting together this material and forming it into a cohesive hour that is emotional, vulnerable, resilient, creative, unique, but most of all, hilarious.
Speaker: Last night.
Speaker: I was just in that state and I realized this is definitely the hour that I want to put out.
Speaker: So even though I'm going to have those moments of, Oh, but you could still make this better.
Speaker: You, what if you did this?
Speaker: What if you did this?
Speaker: What if you just waited a little bit longer?
Speaker: Well, sure, but that could last forever.
Speaker: And what do I say?
Speaker: Everybody create it, release it.
Speaker: Stop giving a fuck.
Speaker: That's what I need to tell myself because I know a special like this, a project like this will carry me to the next big moment.
Speaker: It will show people who I am at my core.
Speaker: It will show people not only the comedian I am, not only the artist I am, but the human.
Speaker: I am because there's so much love in this special.
Speaker: And I think that's important in a standup special is I'm touching on societal points and I'm touching on your emotions and I'm obviously pressing your giggle button, smash, smash, smash, like, and subscribe.
Speaker: But most of all, I'm showing you the love that is inherent inside of me that I have learned to collect from everybody around me.
Speaker: And that includes you who are listening to this.
Speaker: Now, by the time you hear this episode, the special's been filmed.
Speaker: And I can tell you right now, I'm a few days away, but I know I crushed it.
Speaker: I was in my element up there.
Speaker: I'm going to walk.
Speaker: I walked out onto that stage confident as can be, and I delivered exactly the comedy that I wanted to.
Speaker: And when I walked off stage,
Speaker: Took a deep breath, deep gratitude for everything in my life, for my health, for my family, for my wife, for my friends, for the environment that we live in, for the crowd that was out there, for everything.
Speaker: I'm still here and I have a lot more to say.
Speaker: And when this special comes out, I can't wait for you all to see it.
Speaker: I really can't.
Speaker: This is going to be cool.
Speaker: It's going to be really cool.
Speaker: And I'm sure you're working on a project right now.
Speaker: I'm sure there's something that you want to achieve.
Speaker: And when that little voice comes in, that devil on your shoulder that tells you you're not good enough, crush it up, snort it back inside you and transmute it into something positive.
Speaker: because that self-doubt is always going to be there.
Speaker: But how you rise above it is your choice.
Speaker: That is up to you.
Speaker: And just know it's possible.
Speaker: You're enough and you deserve to be proud of what you're doing.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: I can't believe this.
Speaker: I mean, it feels crazy that I'm at this moment, but
Speaker: I worked hard to be here.
Speaker: I deserve it.
Speaker: So go follow me on social media.
Speaker: If you're not already doing that, share a clip of mine that helps so much.
Speaker: I'm trying to build that following because it is important to a lot of clubs out there and a lot of the industry.
Speaker: And I think this special is going to break the mold and this is going to be what really shows people that I'm worth paying attention to.
Speaker: But I'm
Speaker: Got to do it for me.
Speaker: I'm doing it because I know this comedy will be an escape for everyone that sees it.
Speaker: And thank you for being here.
Speaker: Genuinely thank you for being here.
Speaker: I'm going to add a lot more shows to my schedule soon.
Speaker: I just feel good.
Speaker: I feel really good, everybody.
Speaker: I love you so much and I hope you find a way to smile as hard as you can today.
Speaker: I'll see you next week.
