Transcript
Speaker: In the internet podcast system, Dirty Briefs is represented by two separate yet equally important pugs.
Speaker: Carlton, a silly energetic burst of love, and Kimchi, the embodiment of beauty and zen.
Speaker: These are their stories.
Speaker: Ba-bum!
Speaker: In 2013, Carlton was born into the family of one of the richest drug cartels in Tijuana, Mexico.
Speaker: The 16-room mansion was already a zoo of animalia.
Speaker: Being that this family had their pockets in every Mexican government agency, they were able to buy exotic animals from all over the world.
Speaker: Their estate included 15 horses, eight emus, five Komodo dragons, a giraffe, and three zebras, which many people in the neighborhood speculated were just horses that were painted daily with black and white stripes.
Speaker: No one could prove this or would go after it,
Speaker: But the local paint shop was constantly filling orders for not just gallons, but entire drums of paint that were being shipped directly to the estate.
Speaker: People also heard rumors of a rhinoceros that roamed the farmlands, but surveillance videos have claimed it was simply one of the fatter horses with bad skin and a carrot glued to his forehead.
Speaker: Still.
Speaker: Being that the family was known for beheading anyone that crossed them, no one spoke up about this obvious abnormality.
Speaker: Now, along with these animals, they also had a vast collection of flat-faced dogs, Boston Terriers, bulldogs of both the French and English variety, and of course, pugs.
Speaker: The eldest son and heir to the entire fortune, Juan Pablo, had an obsession with breeding these dogs.
Speaker: A hound or a German shepherd, typical cartel dogs, could smell intruders and be trained to fight.
Speaker: But Juan Pablo did.
Speaker: didn't need soldiers.
Speaker: He had plenty of those.
Speaker: He needed sleepers.
Speaker: Working day and night in his lab, he mixed and matched all sorts of lethargic dog combinations in hopes to create a dog that would rest for 23 hours a day.
Speaker: He needed a calming presence, the antithesis of most of the coke-riddled humans he dealt with on a daily basis.
Speaker: With all of the chaos in his life, he needed peace.
Speaker: And who better to give him that than a dog who wanted nothing more than full-time slumber?
Speaker: In November 2013, one of these pugs gave birth to a batch of seven adorable pugs.
Speaker: Now, if you have ever seen a baby pug, you understand the definition of cute.
Speaker: Their bobbleheads are bigger than the rest of their body.
Speaker: Adorable.
Speaker: Their eyes are bulging out of their skulls.
Speaker: Juan Pablo seemed very pleased with this new litter.
Speaker: Certain he had cracked the formula to create the perfect resting buddy, wrinkled sacks of potatoes that would lay around in the hot sun, not causing any trouble.
Speaker: But,
Speaker: One of them seemed different.
Speaker: While the others came out and immediately laid down beside their mother for milk, one of them charged out in a full sprint.
Speaker: Blind from birth and out of control, it began storming the nursery with furious energy.
Speaker: Unsure on its new pause, it careened in whatever direction its head leaned in, leading its way out of the birthing barn and into the lab next door.
Speaker: With no control whatsoever, it began knocking over beakers and formulas that had been precariously placed all over the countertops.
Speaker: Slipping in all of the liquids that were now strewn across the floor, it hit one puddle that sent him careening straight toward a blowtorch which immediately fell onto its side on the floor.
Speaker: Although the blowtorch wasn't burning, it was turned on and ready for use.
Speaker: And all it took...
Speaker: was one tiny spark from the pilot light to ignite the entire lab.
Speaker: Feeling the heat and realizing the danger, the pug hot-footed it straight out of the lab, which was now completely engulfed in flames.
Speaker: Looking for safety, the pug nestled itself under some large burlap sacks it found outside.
Speaker: What it didn't know, of course...
Speaker: was this was a stockpile of cocaine.
Speaker: Hundreds of kilos that had not yet been shipped out.
Speaker: One sniff was all it took.
Speaker: A tiny sprinkle of booger sugar went directly into its nose, immediately circulating throughout his baby bloodstream, forever energizing him with the speed of a thousand pugs.
Speaker: Like a cannon that has just exploded, he shot off into the night away from the estate.
Speaker: No one knows what happened next.
Speaker: He was found six weeks later, roaming the streets of Tijuana, slurping up shots that spilled off of the outdoor bars.
Speaker: It was there that he was scooped up by a rescue service who then shipped him off to Los Angeles.
Speaker: When he was only 10 weeks old, we adopted him from a former Playboy playmate who had fostered him.
Speaker: And now, 10 years later, he still...
Speaker: Snuggles in our arms, curls up next to us, barks out the window in a constant search for more coke.
Speaker: Now, that's Carlton.
Speaker: But that's only one of our pugs because we have another one.
Speaker: And this one we got from Korea.
Speaker: This is her story.
Speaker: Open scene.
Speaker: A puppy mill in Korea.
Speaker: Hundreds of tiny cages are squeezed into a small corridor.
Speaker: Stacked three and four high with multiple dogs in each cage, there's barely room to breathe, breathe, let alone live with any degree of normalcy.
Speaker: Long, uncut nails scratch at empty bowls of food.
Speaker: Constant barking and whimpers resonate throughout the hallway.
Speaker: Human presence is seldom, at best, as these animals are shown only the most basic amenities.
Speaker: Many of them struggle to stay alive, lingering onto any hope that one day they might be rescued.
Speaker: Suddenly, one of the doors to a cage bursts open.
Speaker: A five-year-old pug saunters through the grated entry.
Speaker: Her stomach hangs low from being overbred, barely floating above the ground beneath.
Speaker: Someone...
Speaker: accidentally left her bolt unlocked.
Speaker: And she knows she only has one opportunity to escape.
Speaker: It's the chance she's been waiting for since she first realized her life would be spent in captivity.
Speaker: Sunshine is as foreign a concept as the ocean.
Speaker: Her only knowledge of the world is inside the cold sterility of this tiled prison.
Speaker: So she goes for it, using all four of her stumpy little legs to carry her to a freedom that may or may not exist.
Speaker: Along the way, she unhitches as many latches as she can.
Speaker: She doesn't have much time, but she knows that she must do all she can to save the others.
Speaker: Our little Harriet Pugman.
Speaker: Thoughts of her babies fill her wrinkled little head, each one being stripped from her the moment they were old enough to be on their own.
Speaker: She was used.
Speaker: nothing more than a pin cushion to pump out baby pugs that would be sold into slavery as well.
Speaker: It pained her with every fiber of her being.
Speaker: But alas, this is the life she was born into.
Speaker: But this is her moment, and she isn't going to let it slip away without a fight.
Speaker: She barrels toward a door that she has never been on the other side of.
Speaker: Of course, she's dreamed of this moment, but even in her greatest visions, she could never know the life that awaited her on the other side.
Speaker: She was close.
Speaker: Herself and 40 other pugs were now hobbling toward the massive entry.
Speaker: The smell of victory and grass and God knows what else was awaiting her on the other side.
Speaker: If only she could make it through!
Speaker: Enter.
Speaker: Kill shelter assassin.
Speaker: He stands, collars and leashes in hand, blocking the doorway.
Speaker: A maniacal laugh escapes his tiny yet sturdy frame.
Speaker: Only on my goal.
Speaker: Not today.
Speaker: He laughs again, shutting the door.
Speaker: The gorgeous, fearless pug turns to the others.
Speaker: So close, she whispers.
Speaker: The disappointment is thick in the air.
Speaker: But suddenly, without warning, the door bursts open.
Speaker: A horde of ninjas wearing fawn-colored furry suits burst through the entryway.
Speaker: The assassin attempts to pull his knife, but it's too late.
Speaker: The ninjas, faster than the bullet train that took them there, have overpowered him.
Speaker: Using his own leashes, they hogtie him, shove him into one of the tiny cages, and close the gate.
Speaker: The whimpers of the animals turn into cries of happiness as all of them are released.
Speaker: Life breathes through them again.
Speaker: The ninja opens the door where they not only see the outside world, but a plane waiting for them.
Speaker: Stunning kittens are their flight attendants, showering them with unlimited wet food and toys, so new they still have the squeakers in them.
Speaker: They are Los Angeles bound, ready to begin their new life.
Speaker: Not as slaves, but as princes and princesses who will be adorned with love and admiration for the rest of their days.
Speaker: Maybe that's not exactly how Carlton and Kim Chi got here, but that's my story that I like to tell because I don't know what happens to a rescue before they come into your life.
Speaker: Sometimes you get a little bit of a story, but other times you don't.
Speaker: And I think the best thing you can do is come up with your own, something fun,
Speaker: something silly, something that gives them a larger than life presence because that's what they bring to you every single day.
Speaker: What do your dogs mean to you?
Speaker: Look at them and think of a backstory that completes everything that you see when you look at them.
Speaker: Thank you very much to Pug Nation here in Los Angeles and Pug Rescue of Korea for bringing these tiny little beautiful first acts into my life.
Speaker: They have forever changed me and made me a better person.
Speaker: And I hope your animals do the same for you.
Speaker: I'll see you next week.
