Transcript
Speaker: Hello everyone, and welcome back to Dirty Briefs.
Speaker: The world is screaming right now.
Speaker: Everyone seems to be in a rage.
Speaker: And I think what is most needed is some deep-rooted healing.
Speaker: And the best way I find to de-stress, to heal, to relieve anxiety...
Speaker: is to meditate.
Speaker: So I'm going to hit you with a healing meditation.
Speaker: I will warn you now, this will completely relax you and take away all of the anxiety that has been building up inside.
Speaker: So if you are driving, please pull over to the side of the road because we're about to go very deep.
Speaker: Marianas Trench, deep.
Speaker: 48-year-old porn star, deep.
Speaker: So make sure you're in a comfortable setting.
Speaker: Sit down, lay down.
Speaker: This is your time to open your heart.
Speaker: Here we go.
Speaker: Begin by closing your eyes.
Speaker: Your mind and body are one.
Speaker: Technically, they are too, because they are different words.
Speaker: But they are connected, they are tethered by nerves and muscles and blood and other stuff.
Speaker: So relax.
Speaker: Focus on an area where you feel pain.
Speaker: Now put yourself in a happy place.
Speaker: Maybe it's a beach.
Speaker: Or a lake.
Speaker: Or your grandmother's sex dungeon that you accidentally found when you were seven years old.
Speaker: Whatever it is, wherever it is, transport yourself there.
Speaker: Visualize the space.
Speaker: Feel the air.
Speaker: Smell the leather from the whips.
Speaker: Put the ball gag in your mouth.
Speaker: Remember, it's familiar taste.
Speaker: Deep breath.
Speaker: Think about your stress.
Speaker: What's causing it?
Speaker: Money?
Speaker: Relationships?
Speaker: Diane from work eating your sandwich in the employee fridge and then claiming she didn't see your name written on the bag even though it was in all caps and you wrote it with a sharpie?
Speaker: Come on, Diane!
Speaker: Let that drift away.
Speaker: Inhale deeply through your nose...
Speaker: directly into the part of your body that hurts the most.
Speaker: Allow the pain to redistribute itself, to break down into a million tiny pieces.
Speaker: Break it down with another huge exhale.
Speaker: Push it away.
Speaker: Now watch that pain particles enter the air, flying away from you, directly into
Speaker: into Diane's stupid little mouth.
Speaker: Watch those pain particles fly past her lipstick-stained teeth.
Speaker: Take that, Diane.
Speaker: Take all my sickness.
Speaker: Take all my pain.
Speaker: Never, ever touch my sandwich again.
Speaker: Now take a moment and reconnect with your own body.
Speaker: Feel the ground beneath you.
Speaker: Feel the energy in your fingers and toes.
Speaker: Enjoy the solace.
Speaker: And when you're ready, open your eyes.
Speaker: Welcome.
Speaker: You may choose now to sit quietly for a few minutes, or if you were driving a car, please open your eyes.
Speaker: Notice that people have been honking at you.
Speaker: You probably caused a few accidents, but I want to hit you with another meditation later this week.
Speaker: So there will be a bonus episode, everyone.
Speaker: Another meditation coming out in just a couple of days.
Speaker: So please send this to someone who may need to de-stress as well, because all of us can use a moment of peace.
Speaker: I love you all.
Speaker: Have a beautiful day.
