Transcript
Speaker: If you really enjoy listening to Bad Movies, Worst People, just so you know, we do have Patreon. We have two different tiers. That's right. Patreon.com slash worst people. have a $3 tier. We get early access to Han Took Shots First, our Star Wars podcast. You get a monthly newsletter. You get archived episodes that are no longer available on the main feed. Plus, you get our monthly mental health episode. Which we need.
Speaker: And we do. And there's also $5 tier where you get all of that content. Plus you get ad free episodes from the main feed and you get access to latch key vids, which is our recap show about forgotten or never known television shows from the nineties like cop rock.
Speaker: too soon man it was just too early it's a beautiful thing it is a beautiful thing so check out patreon.com slash worst people help support this crazy endeavor thank you you thank you that stupid ford money it's not american made this tractor's never giving me a day of trouble you know why american made bullshit that tractor is giving you all sorts of trouble mostly when you're too drunk to drive a tractor right And because it's 84, drinking and driving wasn't as nearly, like they're they're some places didn't have DUI laws, like small towns like this. So yeah no when he gets into his tractor and try and drive, like Phoebe Cates, like, damn, you are really, really drunk. Maybe you should walk. I think on any other, like i think three beers less, she'd be like, yeah, go ahead and drive home. He does it all the time.
Speaker: The tractor knows the way home. um But so there's chaos in the streets. This is when we get the tragic story about Santa Dad. Coming this summer to Hallmark, June 8th, Santa Dad.
Speaker: After the the story, they go back out and the chaos has subsided and she's like, where the fuck they all go? And he's like, well, the sun's coming up soon. So they probably went somewhere dark. The movies. The movie theater, which is, again, i read it it's something in the trivia. I don't remember how they worded it. I would have known because I know this is the same set. But somebody worded it as like, this movie theater saw tragedy again in 1985 because it's the one that ah Doc Brown, where they when he went Marty goes back to the future and he takes the car and then the whole front of the theater gets lit on fire.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. Oh. Sorry, I checked out for a little bit because in my head I was thinking about writing a stocked by my doctor Christmas movie where he's dressing up as Santa Claus to attract younger women. And the imaginary imaginary version of him is um ah dressed like an elf drinking eggnog the whole time. It's called stocking stuffed by my doctor.
Speaker: Oh, I love it. But he's trying to stuff things he's trying to stuff things in their stockings, not the ones that are hanging over the... ah Stockings aren't going be the only thing hung over the fire this summer.
Speaker: June 8th. What are the gremlins doing in there? They're watching Snow White. And they love it. Oh my god. They're eating this theater out of house and home and at one point Stripe gets up and goes across the street to candy. yeah because they eat also he's he's looking for can food they're looking for well He's looking for more food and he's hanging out he's like yums?
Speaker: Need that yum-yums. I do like there all the gremlins start singing along with the hi-ho, but then even mag ah Gizmo in the backpacks like... well but um for I'm like, how do you they like once how do you know this?
Speaker: yeah they wrote it sent you they're fucking psychic It was a much darker version before Disney got used to it. Got i got a hold of it. So it was actually like the Seven Dwarfs were eating the Snow White. Snow White was more than one person. It was any dark-haired girl they kidnapped.
Speaker: they There you go. Hi-ho. oh It's all dark. She was the original she was the original goth girlfriend. Yeah. Snow White skin, black hair.
Speaker: Yep. Seven boyfriends. Bunch of fucking gooners, as the kids call them. Billy has a good idea, but me being who I am as a person, I was like, well, don't blow up the movie theater. Because he's like, where's the boiler room? And I was like, you can do something better. You monster. Take him to the library. Burn that down.
Speaker: Derek's having him fucking bomb the blood bank instead. if we lure him to the blood bank, okay, there is a um the baby the newborn baby ward, actually, we could rig with explosives. If we get him out of the theater and into the hospital where all the newborns are.
Speaker: Well, if we get Chow Yun-Fat and Jean-Claude Van Damme, they'll save all the babies before the explosions, so it'll be fine. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Ezra Miller might try and show up. Don't let him. But he disconnects the gas line and lights a rag on fire as like a fuse. They all take off.
Speaker: And here goes the fucking movie theater exploding. You get a bunch of burning gremlin puppets from Derek. Yeah, very sad. um But right before they leave, like as they're running, the movie shuts off and they see the shadows of Billy and Kate. So they're chasing them out. But they lock the door. Big bada boom. Take out this whole fucking movie theater.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like I was like, damn, dude, this is I know this is a back lot thing. I think you just blew this up. And then these guys come in on Monday, the carpenters that work for Universal come in. They're like, dude, come on. bull Bullshit. They have 10 more on the shelf in the back. Like we're tired of blowing these like you guys blow em up all the time. Can I just make you like a 12 pack, a 12 pack of movie theaters? You do you want a 12 pack of movie theater sets? I got you. They they build another one, and then ah Robert Zemeckis shows up with fire, and they're like, you know what?
Speaker: Forget it. We're not building another one. i think Actually, I read that the backlot burned down after back to the right after Back to the Future 2. Oh, shit. This backlot. I'm sure they rebuilt the exact same thing. but I was going to say, they definitely rebuilt something, because I've been on that backlot tour since Back to the Future 2. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, me too, because I was not old enough for back to be there during Back to the Future. Hey, guys, I don't want to sound needy here. I'm needy. But we have a Patreon at patreon.com. And I know times are hard right now. Real hard for me.
Speaker: inflation's up no you can't afford your groceries can't eat we're not we're not begging i'm begging we're not pleading i'm pleading we're not down on our knees oh boy i mean my my knees hurt they've been on that on so long but we do kind of need the money i need the money bad we need new equipment it new equipment we need to do remote podcasts for all of you wouldn't mind eating we need to have video i wouldn't mind eating uh we need more drinks food sounds good So please check out patreon.com slash worst people. Please check us out. You get a bonus episode every month and we're going more content coming for you. I'll send you pictures.
Speaker: ah Thank you guys. Thank you so much. Please give me more. Patreon.com. I'm being held hostage here. Slash worst people. I don't pay my way out of here. They're going to kill me.
