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Ep 185: Bad Memories, Worse People - Special Trivia & Clip Show
5 Plays2 hours ago
Jack threw together a little trivia game for Derrick and Whitney, quizzing us on past episodes using the worst reviews of various episodes that he could find on Letterboxd and IMDb. See if we can remember what we even watched and have some laughs together on this trip down memory lane! Immediately following the trivia, we have a special clip show including unused stingers, favorite jokes, and Jack's special edition of the ramblings of a madman!
Find our exclusive merch in our new webstore at shop.badmoviesworsepeople.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Trivia Quiz
00:00:00
Speaker
Well, we've got some ramblings of a madman. I hope you like ramblings of a madman. We've also got some trivia in there. No, we had done with the trivia, not the ramblings. Never mind. Well, the ramblings happen later. We're not starting over. But I'm but i'm a madman. Jack put together a trivia thing for us because we like to do something different during the December offseason, the season break, as it were.
00:00:20
Speaker
ah So Jack tried to quiz Whitney and I on our knowledge of movies we had already talked about. I already forgot who won. The reason I did it is because I couldn't remember the movies. And i'm like, well, if I'm doing the trivia, I have a cheat sheet. Well, we did not do great, but we have a little trivia here for you. So check that out. But after the trivia, there is a a musical break because I play an outro, but it's going to go right into a a clip show slash outtakes reel, as it were. of just things that have been cut, stingers that may have been used or ended up never being used, or just certain clips that I really liked. And also... a little glimpse behind the curtain. The ramblings of a madman. Ramblings of a madman, for sure. While Whitney and I were out of town... i was out of my mind. We were out of continent. Yeah, Jack ah jumped on and just recorded a whole list of impersonations and stuff.
Negative Reviews Movie Game
00:01:11
Speaker
It's great. There might have been some caveats involved.
00:01:13
Speaker
There were, you definitely talk about it. i definitely was very happy to watch this when we came back. So stay tuned after the trivia because there's another little run of just cut clips and trivia and not trivia, sorry, ramblings, madman ramblings. don't touch that dial or I'll touch you.
00:01:33
Speaker
Welcome back, worst people. We are joined today with the people that are always here and we thought something fun I am going to read really bad negative reviews about movies that we've had on the podcast, and we're going to see if Derek and Whitney can guess what they are. Feel free to play along.
00:01:50
Speaker
I'm Jack. I'm Derek. I'm Whitney. And this is Bad Movies, Worst People.
00:02:28
Speaker
I am 100% taking pictures of my cat watching our intro. I will send them to you. She's sitting and excited right here in front of the monitor just staring at it when there's explosions and karate kicks. You can tell she's my cat. Oh, my God. She really does love that wheel, too.
00:02:47
Speaker
Oh, she loves that. She was on it off and on last night. Yes.
Continued Movie Review Games
00:02:51
Speaker
All right. So this is just something we kind of thought would be fun. And I didn't think about this, but these might not be all movies that Whitney was on, but they're all movies that are on our podcast. So yes, especially those early days where Derek watched them three times.
00:03:06
Speaker
Right. So wait are they are they all ones you were on? Ooh, let me look real quick. Hold on. Are we going way back into the arc? No, I think there are ones that I am all on. Um, let me look.
00:03:23
Speaker
Yeah, I'm on all these. There's only one I'm looking at that might not have Whitney, but, um, let's get it started guys. I went to letterbox and IMDB. I went back and forth. I went with whatever's funnier.
00:03:36
Speaker
Here's number one. A fascinating documentary about the choices a popular young American teenager must face to maintain her status. Insightful look at the harrowing economic and social realities that high school girls navigate daily while being constantly objectified by predatory young men. Wait, what? We're so supposed to identify with him?
00:04:02
Speaker
ah God. Hold on. If you need more, let me know. By the way, if a character or sorry, if an actress, actor or actress's name appears, I will bleep.
00:04:16
Speaker
Okay. Just if you hear me go bleep, that's because it said person's name. Well, husband already got it. I can't think of it. Go for it.
00:04:27
Speaker
That's what I was thinking. Welcome to the dollhouse. But it didn't sound right. This film is about a douchebag nerd who takes advantage of a desperate young woman in an unfortunate situation. Oh, b likeling bling, blingk blin bling, bling, bling.
00:04:42
Speaker
Can't buy me love. Can't buy me love. One for Whitney. do we have a scoreboard? don't need whiteboard. Can we just make noises? i mean, it's fine. you can it You're competing against yourself, really.
00:04:53
Speaker
I went to write Cant and I wrote a G. So I don't think I'm on writing capacity today. Oh, no. We're keeping score, P.S. See, I wrote g good buys me Oh, Richard Cant buys you love. I would watch that. This one has two reviews. Score one for wife person. Yep.
00:05:15
Speaker
Oh. This one has two reviews because I'm afraid you're not going to get it in the first one. So we we will opt for two for a pretty stacked cast. This movie is aggressive is aggressive. Nineties mediocrity to a fault. Even our Lord and zombie savior. Rob can't save us from this tedium.
00:05:34
Speaker
Oh, well.
00:05:38
Speaker
Do you want the second review? go for it. mom um my you I have an idea, but go ahead. This movie was kind of boring, but I respect it for including men in crop tops.
00:05:52
Speaker
Also, wasn't expecting the police brutality commentary. No, it's not what i thought. Bling, bling,
Movie Trivia and Impersonations
00:05:58
Speaker
bling, bling. ah Pain and gain? Negative.
00:06:03
Speaker
Oh! ah wait tilll wait tilll Wait till husband person answers Jesus Christ um If only I remembered the movies we watched Alright, Mediocrity to a fault Stats cast And crop tops Oh, stat cast this person This person says the cast is stacked Close your eyes, Derek
00:06:31
Speaker
No Because I wasn't on that one
00:06:35
Speaker
um I was going to say Sphere. No. There's any crop tops in Sphere. Hold on. I think I picked bad ones because so far you guys No. Hold on. We just have bad memories. Let me think again. Bad memories, worse people. Can I hear you say it again? Here's the second review. This movie was kind of boring, but I respect it for including men in crop tops. Also, wasn't expecting the police brutality commentary. The first review says...
00:07:05
Speaker
For a pretty stacked cast, this movie is aggressive 90s mediocrity to a fault. Even our lord and zombie savior, Rob, can't save us from this tedium. Oh, well. airheads. Did you just get it? Oh, airheads. Because you heard the Rob zombie. The first time around, I was like, zombie savior Rob? Who's a Rob that's doing special effects that we've talked about? That was Steve Buscemi. So one to one, by the way.
00:07:29
Speaker
You guys are each sitting at one point.
00:07:34
Speaker
It took too long to get that, I'm very disappointed. Oh, did you give that to him? No, I got it. he said Once he said, our Lord and zombie Savior, I i re-read that first one. I yelled it first.
00:07:45
Speaker
Ding, ding. so Go back to the tape. here's a one You do it. You're the fucking editor. right So bad that I actually had to pause it several times because I was losing my attention too often due to this being so generically boring. 20 minutes in the last thing keeping this interesting is the blatant Mad Max ripoff. That is this in combination with the trashy yet explosive production design.
00:08:14
Speaker
Can't keep you onto this and you start hoping this is the end by giving short shrift. It takes a full 135 minutes to finish. Besides that, blank doesn't early in...
00:08:32
Speaker
Sorry, this guy's got a really bad spelling. Besides that, ke ah Blank Blank does it in early imitation of Mark Wahlberg. Waterworld? No, I mean Postman. it is like Oh, it's Waterworld, yeah. yeah What did you have on your board? Cherry 2000? I can see why you'd say that. No, I want the writing.
00:08:52
Speaker
o and Because I want you both just hold up the same time. It doesn't matter. well People who are listening listening can't see the writing, we'll have to say it too. Alright. Oh, that's true. Okay. who It was really hard to pay attention to this movie. Not only did it fail to engage me, it also gave me a headache whenever I looked at the screen. Blank does, however, steal the show by being the horniest character in film history. The blank is a female.
00:09:22
Speaker
Me. Bling, blinging bling, bling, bling, bling. Or whatever noise you want to make, like, ba-ooga. A-ooga. That's me. Batman Forever?
00:09:32
Speaker
is Batman Forever, Derek. Bing, bing, bing. All right, so we're- Well fucking played. Two You said a female was the horniest character ever, and I knew exactly what movie was. All right, this next one. Do you want the long or the short- Excuse me. The short is going to be, I think, the giveaway. Let's try the long one. Start with the long one. That's what going to say anyways. I like a long game anyway.
00:09:58
Speaker
I know you do, Playgirl. One hesitates to go too much into describing what transpires in the plot on the grounds that this is surely best experienced as a wave of gonzo, nutsoid shocks.
00:10:11
Speaker
At the same time, it's just so much movie... That urges you say, you guys point to plot X and then plot point y Three ninjas? No.
00:10:28
Speaker
In call of you if nothing else there's a certain development involving a former world lead Sorry, there's a certain development Involving a former world leader that is in the moment the most fucking gobsmacking thing you have ever seen in a movie by the time the rest of the movie has unspooled ah There has been so many more gobsmacking things that the first thing waste and the first thing is waste on hard rock zombies Yeah, that was like ah are you ready for the short one?
00:10:58
Speaker
Yeah. Neat. It's all downhill after Hitler fucks a werewolf. Correct. I thought that would have given it way too much away. All right.
00:11:15
Speaker
Hold on. Two star review. cause Cause is heard.
00:11:22
Speaker
Look at that poor. It's like I'm a bartender or something. Look at that poor. She's fucking filthy poor. Man, how come they don't say filthy poor? Filthy rich is a thing.
00:11:34
Speaker
Filthy poor is just poor, right? That's why. Yeah. and and Yeah. It's just just got it. Dirty poor people. Filthy rich is like Adam Sandler. We can be rich and look disgusting.
00:11:46
Speaker
Did I tell you about? Oh, I shouldn't say it on the air on the air. Shouldn't say it on the line. Never mind. All right, for it. little two-star review on this one. Shrug. After 40 slumberous minutes of Law & Order in old New York, there's one really solid set piece involving a porn theater, a cop car, and a motorcycle. Ding, ding. Later...
00:12:09
Speaker
You're a Ooga. Ooga. Ooga ding ding. Shakedown. Shakedown it is. um I was like, yeah, there's not enough funny to keep reading, so I won't.
00:12:20
Speaker
If there's more funny to keep reading, I will. This should be. This is this a two review. This is a one review. It's just kind of short. yeah If you don't get it from this one, i have a thing to say.
00:12:35
Speaker
right.
00:12:38
Speaker
My favorite thing in this film was that the VHS tape of the King Kong Lives is a MacGuffin in the final act. Not a good one, but surely a unique one. Oh, fuck.
00:12:53
Speaker
Bad memories, worse people, because de i can see Derek's wheels fucking turning, and he's not quite there. I remember King Kong Lives being in a movie. I don't remember what movie it was. Do you want...
00:13:07
Speaker
A quote from the movie. We recorded this An impersonation or a Jack Petty delirium. Jack Petty delirium. That s sex machine broke.
00:13:19
Speaker
Oh, blabli bling, bling, bling, bling. Painting game. Painting game. Nope. and same Same thing. You're thinking about the right person with the wrong movie. You got it. I'm going to let you go because you got it. You know what it is.
00:13:34
Speaker
It's the other Marky Mark movie. Oh, the big hit. Oh, that's right. You got it. I'm not taking the. Okay, since you got the other point, taking We can call it a push. You know, well, you she knew what it was. She just yelled the wrong movie. Yeah.
00:13:47
Speaker
I do that a lot, guys. If you ever listen to our podcast, I say weird shit. thought that would be a good one shit because i really i wanted to see which one of you remembered the King Kong. I thought i thought Derek was going to get that instant. was there because I was like, yeah, someone had to return King Kong Lives, but I couldn't think of who or why or when. think Hit was like, what, two years ago? Isn't that we were going to do ah the Golden Showers collab with my bar? Yeah, we're still going to it one day. at Golden Showers collab. We've got to find a new name.
00:14:14
Speaker
It was what? good taste the golden year Taste the Golden Spray. all the Good beer, worse people. I like Taste the Golden Spray. ring matches my shirt today. All right.
00:14:27
Speaker
Joke's on you. It's a moo moo. and the Joke's on us. Indeed. This boy has a severe case of movie asthma. Maybe the worst. Bling, bling, bling, bling, bling. Side kicks, motherfucker.
00:14:42
Speaker
Maybe the worst I've seen in all my years as a medical professional. I haven't seen an Asian woman fetishized like this since my dad downloaded Tinder. The Purple Rose of Cairo for school shooters. Very much a fake 30 rock movie. Sidekicks.
00:14:58
Speaker
I really just wanted to read it for that. I haven't seen an Asian woman fetishized like this since my dad downloaded Tinder. That's great. Good work, sir. i applaud you, gentlemen.
00:15:10
Speaker
We're tied again. Grr. Show me your grr face. Here's a short one that won't give it away unless you're just a fucking stud.
00:15:21
Speaker
Two-star review. Kind of funny that more or less kind of funny that more or less half of this movie takes place in an office and a fairground.
00:15:35
Speaker
We never did Zombieland. Think about why it's funny that something would take place in an office in a fairground. It's not the best descriptor. Ding, ding, ding. I mean, Ooga.
00:15:47
Speaker
he might know. We did Bad movie or bad Memories, Worst People already. Come on. Passenger 57. Passenger 57. Oh, yeah. i had a longer one, but I thought that was the the better review because, yeah.
00:16:02
Speaker
All right. We got a one star here.
00:16:06
Speaker
Oh, this guy's cheeky. Cheeky little bitch. Oops, nothing. Hey, movie, you forgot to put anything in this one. Most basic broad action movie that isn't even distinct from standard-ish of the direct-to-DVD action market, save for having a larger special effects budget for splosions. Besides that, it's just cookie cutter. Wow, the perfect fighting machine, but ah, they missed their humanity. What would happen? It doesn't do anything interesting. oh It's just mostly boring.
00:16:42
Speaker
I don't write fast. This isn't going to be legible. Universal soldier. Correct. ah uga Universal. I will go. Indeed. My friend.
00:16:54
Speaker
All
00:16:57
Speaker
all right. This one might be fairly easy. We'll see. This is. I don't know. He's kicking my butt, guys. That's six to four. I'm not kicking your butt. There's five. Not at all. Yeah, not at all. In this film, the main character, a kid, commits murder, manslaughter, jaywalking, petty theft, falsely alerting police officers to a crime, obstruction of justice, bringing a bomb through airport security. Blink, blink, blink.
00:17:21
Speaker
Bling, bling, bling, bling, bling. I can't write it down. And I don't remember the name of it. can say But it's the... I don't know how many points I can give you. He has the imaginary friend that is also his dad.
00:17:34
Speaker
And It's not his dad. But, like yeah, the guy who plays his dad is his imaginary friend. That's the. Oh, OK. okay OK. I mean, Derek, how many points do you want get her? OK.
00:17:48
Speaker
She knew what she was talking about. Whitney gets points. I know, but if she couldn't come up with a name, i don't know how many points I can give her. If this was a more serious game. Do I get just a half a star? No, you get a full star.
00:18:01
Speaker
If this was like more serious or there was anything at stake or i wanted to sleep on the couch and involuntarily, um I'd say no points. You'd never slept on the couch. I award you no points. If I didn't like blowjobs, um I award you no points and may God have mercy on yourself.
Trivia Conclusion and Reflections
00:18:20
Speaker
Simple, incorrect, and fine. You've never slept on the couch. You've slept in that chair. was going to say, bullshit, he slept on my couch. Yeah. Sitting up. I sleep on couches all the time. All right, here we sleep sitting up all the Two-star review.
00:18:34
Speaker
Super dumb. Sorry, it's just that's just anyone in these movies we ever covered.
00:18:42
Speaker
Super dumb the kind that ultimately is too stupid for its own good as a whole film But it also has its moments of schlocky brilliance. There's a lot of so there's a lot of rooty-tootie shooty and big freaking monsters destroying Chicago towards the end blingk blingklingklingk blingk voice swing Blink 98 incorrect No, that's New York bling wuga incorrect no that's but haooga Bling a Wooga. Go ahead. i just wrote God. woga here
00:19:14
Speaker
This is how I wrote it. Rampage. Rampage is correct. It goes actually pretty deep into how it's like, oh, cool. It's another Dwayne Johnson in the in the jungle movie. Also, I'll take two tickets.
00:19:27
Speaker
So this person knows. They're like, hey, this is really bad, but also it has some rooty tootie shooty monster movies and Dwayne the fucking Rock Johnson.
00:19:39
Speaker
Can't be that, guys. Would you have done the name as blank the blank blank? Just throw the one blank because otherwise it's like, oh, blank the blank blank blank blank. blank I thought I would have been like, oh, Gene the fucking man Hackman. Got it. The great Max von Sydow?
00:20:02
Speaker
That's a little two-star review for y'all. This minor cult film oscillates somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle of Blade Runner, Mad Max Beyond the Thunderdome, and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Blank is likable, but I don't like the male lead blank at all. Some very effective location shooting in Nevada.
00:20:21
Speaker
If that doesn't do it, I have one more review from them.
00:20:26
Speaker
I'm like attack from killer. Oh, cherry 2000. Oh, I hated that one. I know. so you should remember it more. No, I pushed it out of my head. It was the, uh, I started getting it really early on and it took me a while. Even though I already wrote that for a different fucking movie, it took me a minute to, uh, formulate it in my skull brain.
00:20:48
Speaker
I had to put movies in that were good and bad, or that we liked and didn't like, right? i can't just make them all lovable or hateable. Well, you know how she really hated Cherry 2000, and we had to rent it or buy it on Amazon to watch it? You own a 4K now?
00:21:02
Speaker
Blu-ray. Fuck yeah. I'm on my way. I actually, i didn't like it that much. when it's It's one of those things. We watched it. I thought it was meh. We talked about it and it elevated the movie for me because that's what that movie needs. You need to watch it with people. You need to bullshit about it.
00:21:20
Speaker
I think she would like it more now. She's been conditioned. I do, too. Oh, is that what you guys are going to make me do one year is redo that? Do I have to choose between Miami Connection and Cherry 2000? No, we already did Miami Connection. We'll do both. Oh, yeah. No, Derek's right.
00:21:34
Speaker
We already redid Miami Connection. Mama, take a gummy and watch it. We'll have a good time. Okay. All right. You got All right, hold Somebody's got to proofread so there's not an actress name that I like gave away that Kevin Costner one with Waterworld. like You said Kevin. It could have been Kevin Blart. All you said was Kev. Kevin Blart?
00:21:51
Speaker
You know, Paul, Kevin, Paul Blart, Kevin James. We haven't done a Kevin. We haven't done Kevin James. But also you said Kev and I was like, fucking who's Kevin? They're after Masheed.
00:22:01
Speaker
you know We've done no less than at least two Kevin Costner movies. And I was like, who the fuck's Kevin? We went and saw Horizon in theaters together and I'm like, who the fuck's Kevin? I made you, or sorry, I'd rather let you watch Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves.
00:22:18
Speaker
Let you. This is true. I agree with you, sir. What the actual fuck did I watch? I mean, this movie just consistently came across as creepy, weird, cringy, and downright uncomfortable.
00:22:30
Speaker
And it definitely wasn't saved by the action scenes because that was all dumb with them spinning around Bling, bling, bling, bling.
00:22:39
Speaker
Nope. Empire Vance. She really wants one to be Vance. I'll give you a clue. Nothing's that on Hold on. Camera's spinning around in circles. I'll admit I had pretty low expectations going into this, but I was definitely out from the opening credits. Those felt like they lasted 10 minutes.
00:22:56
Speaker
Also, the name of the director blank. I'm genuinely curious what that's about.
00:23:03
Speaker
Whitney, because you got one wrong, you can't buzz in again until Derek goes. Right. Right. But I just put one down in case. That's okay. That's okay. i just i heard you buzzing in.
00:23:16
Speaker
oh I wasn't buzzing. uh just because of the the confusing director's name this is my guess i don't think it's right cat woman it is 100 correct ah what the fuck did i actually watch also i want you to go on letterboxd and look up the five star reviews for cat woman because they get it how many did you do i didn't do one of them i was looking through it today okay So you're looking through the five star reviews. There's 48 accounts that only have one review and they're all Catwoman and they're all just variations upon Ginger or something. oh My name is Al go rhythm and I would like to review Catwoman.
00:23:56
Speaker
um By the way, so normally when you go to Letterboxd, Derek knows how this how this works probably. I can rate you can review of sorry You can search by ratings, like one star, two star. Catwoman sat at a 1.6 average, so i was like, well, I don't need to fucking...
00:24:17
Speaker
Filter that out. So the five stars, this is the only movie that I looked at that had five star reviews because every other movie we did, I i did that little fucking, you know, search thing filter.
00:24:30
Speaker
So you're telling me I've forgotten a lot of the movies, but you're telling me nobody gave like I mean, I didn't. But you're telling no one gave like airheads a five star. No, no, no, no, no. Because there's enough five stars of those. I didn't look at them.
00:24:42
Speaker
Oh, okay. Catwoman had so few five stars that didn't filter them out. I was like, I can just read past them. The five-star review people are my people though, because they got it. They're like the editing alone was going to make you want to fucking laugh.
00:24:56
Speaker
They understood. They watched the right movie. they They watched it the right way. All right. And this is the final one. What's the score right now? Five, nine to five. So this one's worth five points.
00:25:22
Speaker
The worst movie I have ever watched. So many great token characters with the creepiest police officers I've ever seen. Unprecedented horribleness.
00:25:36
Speaker
I know this one. I have one other review and it's just one line and it says the horniest movie I've ever seen.
00:25:48
Speaker
ah du Creepy police and horniness. I mean, it could be anything.
00:25:58
Speaker
um I can give clues because ah these are. Here's the part. Can i have an actor?
00:26:07
Speaker
No. An initials?
00:26:12
Speaker
You know what? I will give you an actor. But I'm not going to give you. hold on. I've not given you main actor. The thing is, with these reviews, I want you to know, I actually did work on this because you had to filter out the ones that say, like, Sister Act is such a fun movie. You know I Like, not that we did Sister Act. Yeah. So many these reviews are straight up, like, the thing I didn't like about Escape from l L.A. is when he was surfing and Kurt Russell. And so it's like I had to try and find ones that were fun enough and vague enough. And I hope it shows that I tried, guys.
Future Podcast Plans and Tangents
00:26:46
Speaker
It does. No, I want to do this every year now. Remember for a little while I tried finding like one star and five star letterbox reviews that were entertaining. I gave up because I was like, this is a lot of work. It's it's something.
00:26:57
Speaker
All right. You want the actor? An actor, please. He's an actor. He's definitely not top billed and he's a repeat customer. Terry Kaiser. OK. Oh, um is this.
00:27:12
Speaker
Can you say it again? Can you.
00:27:16
Speaker
I certainly can. Whitney. Thank you for asking. The worst movie I have ever watched. So many great token characters with the creepiest police officers I have ever seen. Unprecedented horribleness.
00:27:33
Speaker
Terry Kaiser's probably, i would say, like, oh kaiser throw third, fourth build on this. Oh, bling, bling, bling, bling. bling I'm not going to write it down. For people that don't know, listening, or watching, Terry Kaiser is the titular Bernie in Weekend at Bernie's.
00:27:49
Speaker
Is it Tammy and the T-Rex Tanny and the Teenage T-Rex? I'm going to accept both answers because we don't know if it was Tammy or Tanny. Did you write that down?
00:28:02
Speaker
no You were thinking to Halloween, weren't you? I honestly wrote Halloween 3 down. The reason I picked Terry Kaiser as an actor, because if I would have said Denise Richards or Paul Walker, you would have known, right? Yes. Yeah. And then the next the next person that's a name. I also wanted to do a quote from the sheriff that is, um it's one of them testicular standoffs.
00:28:24
Speaker
See that? I would have gotten that. I was so close. As soon as she yelled blinging bling bling, awooga, whatever, i was I got it too. And I was like fuck. She's just faster blinging than I am at a wooing. Yeah. Well, you know what? What was your score? Nine. Next next time. ah Ten. yeah Next time we will get maybe buzzers or something.
00:28:47
Speaker
Patreon members, if you want this to be funner, tell your friends to give us their money. Take their money and give it to us. I don't care. Yeah, start a new account and just be like, there you go I'm stealing $3 a month from my friend. Thank you very much for joining us on this endeavor. And golf clap all around for people listening.
00:29:05
Speaker
Thank you, everybody, for listening. Hold I'm writing. She's writing. Keep it going, Derek. Keep it going. Keep it coming. Keep it coming. Edit this. Edit this. Here we go. Edit this. I got an Oedipus Rex. Rex and little Reximus.
00:29:18
Speaker
Oh. Thanks for playing. Thanks for playing, guys. Yeah, we'll do more of this. I got some things in the hopper. I like these fun little things. And, yeah, if you have ideas, let us know. Maybe we can have more people on here at some point. The Bleep, I mean, Classy Alcoholic and Bleep are both able to video podcast with us.
00:29:40
Speaker
Yeah, and it would be funny because then when we're testing how much they actually listen because they claim they do. Ooh, god yeah Also, if I know the class is going to be on here, I'm just going to make every review seem like it's Wesley Snipes and not be.
00:29:54
Speaker
Oh, my God. You hear that, Classy? So, yeah, thanks for playing, guys. um You get a purple square and Derek gets a gold heart. But purple scares squares win today.
00:30:08
Speaker
Purple square, bitches. You should have just said I get nothing. get Nothing. Nothing. Thank you. Good day, sir.
00:30:51
Speaker
You sound, well, on my end, you sound good. Okay, good. don't know how On my end, you always sound good. Yeah. Yeah, You sound good when you're in his end. Yeah, wait. ah I know I'd love to forget all the painful things that have happened to me, but unfortunately, I keep replaying them in my head like some clip show from a bad sitcom too lazy to come up with a fresh story. Oh, there's my face. Oh, you're in so much trouble now.
00:31:21
Speaker
All right, so hold on.
00:31:31
Speaker
This is what happens when Derek and Whitney leave me alone. end up going a little cuckoo bananas. like I'm wearing sunglasses because I don't want you to see my pupils.
Star Wars Impersonations
00:31:44
Speaker
But what I thought would be a fun thing to do, i have Boba Fett helmet. full of impersonations that I like doing. I'm not sure if they're good, but I like doing them.
00:31:58
Speaker
And then I have a phone with quotes from Star Wars. So we'll kind of get like this audition
00:32:07
Speaker
thing going where we'll just see what happens. How does everybody feel? Good? Awesome.
00:32:16
Speaker
Alright, so, number one. Let's see what fucking name we've got. Sorry for cursing. You have to blimp that out, don't you, Dirk? Doreen. Keanu Reeves. We have Keanu Reeves, and he is going to be reading some Obi-Wan.
00:32:32
Speaker
In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. You will never see a more wretched hive of villainy and scum. These are not the droids you're looking for.
00:32:44
Speaker
Whoa. all right all right keanu reeves first one out i feel comfortable can you tell i know just our whole thing here is just is the yoda hanging out with grogu is that what that is okay yeah holding boba fett's blaster just in case somebody gets out of line i love it he's because he's got your he's got your six but also just in case somebody does get out of line No, fuck you!
00:33:10
Speaker
Can I you? Ritney. I'm going to get you with the baseball bat. Okay, I'll go away now.
00:33:20
Speaker
You're going to be so terrifying. Ritney! Does he have a braid in the back? Yes! That's ridiculous. I'm going to turn this into a Padawan, by the way. I'm just going paint the fucking baseball bat blue and put some robes It's still on the screen.
00:33:36
Speaker
ah ah The first ginger Padawan. we saw a ginger Jedi in Acolyte. He had to be a Padawan. You don't just get hired as a master. I mean, you don't know what his references were. It's true. That's true. with The Jedi order was flawed. That's it for another podcast.
00:33:58
Speaker
I'm not going to tell you who I'm doing. you can just kind of guess. But, uh, Um, help me. Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.
00:34:09
Speaker
You fought for my father in the clone wars. Aren't you a little short to be a storm trooper? Fine then. I'll solve the problem myself.
00:34:23
Speaker
Okay. All right. Just moving right along. God, you are loving this, aren't you? I can tell. It feels good. The funny thing is there's a really good chance this is not recording and I am just rambling to a madman that's me if it's not recording or if it is recording solid gold uh oh all right i don't know if i should tell you who i'm doing or not but we are gonna go down to a quote here uh this weapon weapon of a jedi knight not a clumsy or random blaster it's an elegant weapon for more civilized age
00:35:02
Speaker
I mean, Mark Wahlberg, we're going to have to bring him back a little because I don't know what it. Here we go. ah Oh, Mos Eisley Spaceport. You'll never find a more wretched hive of villainy and scum. Much like where i'm from, Boston.
00:35:14
Speaker
I mean, Alderaan. I mean, Coruscant. Bro, I suggest new strategy. I too, let the Wookiee win. It's not my best Marky Mark, but you get what you get.
00:35:27
Speaker
Yeah, like you might flip the bus and like maybe half of you die. The airplane, you all die. i live How did we lose all of Lynyrd Skynyrd? Or how did we lose Buddy Holly? I think they have original.
00:35:40
Speaker
Lynyrd Skynyrd? No, I think 10 out of 20 of them lived. If Conair taught me anything... It's at least 18 guitar players. The ones who wrote the songs died.
00:35:51
Speaker
and ah And then we got what Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper, and... Yeah, Richie Valens. Richie Valens. His name is not La bambas pronoun pronouned name is la Bamba. lo diamond philip His name is... Diamond Phillips. Phillips.
00:36:09
Speaker
His name was Lou Diamond Phillips. Lou Diamond Phillips had bitch tits. He didn't. I'm just doing the Fight Club thing. He's going to kick your ass. Yeah, I'd let him. I find your lack of faith disturbing.
00:36:25
Speaker
uh switching up characters the same actor hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blast to your side kid don't get cocky kid
00:36:40
Speaker
that's no moon it's a space station
00:36:46
Speaker
She goes down to identify the body and we have the creepiest fucking morgue attendant, whatever guy. This isn't going to be easy. Your sister's dead. o well on wait She's going to take the blanket off. Wait, wait, let me do it. This is almost exactly his delivery except for without inflection.
00:37:07
Speaker
Yeah. ah If you could do Vincent Price without emotion. I don't think I can. It's not possible. possible It's not possible. yeah He made it possible. Because Vincent Price didn't do that. But that's how this guy is. he If you need tissues, they're over there. i need one.
00:37:21
Speaker
I'm going to need a few. I'm wearing my white underwear. You're not crying. I know. Why do you think we all wear white pants? I'm not crying from the eyes you can see. i think she likes me, but she's playing it cool. Oh, yeah.
00:37:36
Speaker
o ah She's a dead ringer for my mommy. Hold on. Quick liquid break.
00:37:50
Speaker
But she unreal unveils her sister. i have sex with dead bodies.
00:37:57
Speaker
Who has had her eyes removed? She said she had eyes for me, so I took them. These actually weren't gouged out. like This is the one where the stingray just killed her, and the guy's like, ooh, look at those.
00:38:11
Speaker
Those would be great for my collection. I don't know. It's the first case where they cut off her nipples, and they made them eye patch-sized little cutouts. I don't know why. He also, did he did some butt play.
00:38:23
Speaker
First time ever. That stingray's up to it again. This one is different from all the It's getting worse. He must have just been here. I'm rock hard. Stingray came in, gave me a boner and left. He's that good, guys.
00:38:35
Speaker
My God.
00:38:39
Speaker
Oh, no, he's jizzing the trash can. Don't test it. I already did. Stingray's tired. He's going to go take a nap in the mortuary. Don't look in one of these drawers. at He left a used condom in the trash can, but the outside's dry.
00:38:54
Speaker
ah he was jerking off in a condom. I got it. You didn't have to. I took it much worse. He had sex with a dead body. No, I, a thousand percent. He wouldn't want to get any of those ST deaths. oh my I wonder. Sexually transmitted death. yeah How long does syphilis last? ah Don't look at me. Can you get STDs from having sex with a dead body? I hope so. That's what I want to know. I really hope so. That's the headline of this episode when I post this fucking reel on YouTube.
00:39:23
Speaker
I'm terrified to find out. Can you get a STD? Is that why they're doing it? Because they don't want an STD? Or they have an STD? Is that why? Who's doing it? Necrophiliacs. They would not have a name for it people didn't do it. Duh, necrophiliacs, dude.
00:39:39
Speaker
So. Well, this leads to a much larger question. Are necrophiliacs wearing condoms? We'll find out next week. When we have a guest on the podcast. So like ah so many questions. necrophiliacs have an STD? And they're like, this is the only way I can have safe sex because it's not transmitted. So they're doing it for the good of. the Hold on. yeah Hold on. No, your wife is humanizing the necrophiliac. Like, I'm such a good person. i have to fuck a dead body so I don't get anybody else infected with my sickness. That's entirely possible. Oh, fuck. Humanitarian the year. he went around cemeteries banging. He didn't get anybody pregnant. He didn't get anybody in CDs. Morgs.
00:40:18
Speaker
This guy went to cemeteries. He likes them a little bit older. I like them dry. I like to use my own lube. Anyway, back to the original question. Is this your sister? I like to make new orify. Oh,
00:40:35
Speaker
Did your sister always have that cum stain around her mouth? It's weird. ah Speaking of all of this, we have the most emotional scene of the movie. good luck Good luck talking about that. Here's the good thing. I did these way earlier. I had this idea, so I actually have no idea who I'm pulling out now. Like, I forgot to put Steve Zahn in there.
00:40:57
Speaker
This one. Oh, all right. Let's what we got here. ah Who's the more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him?
00:41:09
Speaker
You know what saying? You don't need to see his identification. These are not the droids you're looking for. You see what I was going for there, I took a little autistic talent to it, and I thought maybe I'd play him a little more cooler. He's a little bit like, if these are the droids you're looking for, I might fight you. It's a little more intimidating.
00:41:31
Speaker
Do you see Les Claypool in front of you now? Yes. Is he in this room here with Les Claypool's always next to me. Yeah, he's right there. Sitting on a giant throne made of frogs. Just playing bizarre-ass music, playing his little wham-ola thing. Your schizophrenia sounds amazing. Yeah, I constantly have wham-ola playing in the background of my head. that's Let us more sec, you go down on me in a movie theater. Hey, you're welcome.
00:41:57
Speaker
You got her?
00:42:00
Speaker
She's here right now. She's here right now, and here are two movie tickets. um It's Shetner's List. See what you can do with that. Cool. It's still a lot. It's more set. It'll work. All she's got to do is do that. Somebody yodel singing at me.
00:42:15
Speaker
don't think she yodels. Yeah, she does a little bit of a yodel. That's more Jewel. Well, yeah. Anyway. That's like a Kermit singing. Who will save your soul?
00:42:27
Speaker
So these the bad guys are... as you tell more Who will save your soul? These are my hands, my own. didn't know George Lucas was a lady singer from the I wrote that in my journal, then I wrote a song about it. These aren't my hands, they are my own.
00:42:44
Speaker
Who am I along?
00:42:48
Speaker
God, I hope this is going well. I need the worst fucking feedback we've ever had for Han took shots first. Liquid break.
00:42:59
Speaker
no Talk in your microphone. I'm talking in my microphone. But like, like you're actually talking. It's like I'm talking. no don't move, you fucking idiot. You have to hold the arm gesture. Look how my hands are out like I don't know what you're talking about. Sometimes you get a point like you're making a fucking point, Derek.
00:43:15
Speaker
ah You've never looked like that before. you have not once ever looked like that. That's not true. I did just now. i don't think so. Did you see it? no All right.
00:43:28
Speaker
Case closed. It's a stupid one to do right after Sly Stone because it's just a deeper version that gets pooped on less. I'm going into it though. Fairly.
00:43:45
Speaker
It's a spaceship that made castle world in less than 12 posseks. Because I'm double clutching. Fairly.
00:43:54
Speaker
Hmm.
00:43:58
Speaker
I have a very bad feeling about this. We're going to scrap Vin Diesel. I should have done Vin Diesel right after Sly Stone. It's a fucking rookie mistake. We're gonna try to do some Gary Busey in Star Wars. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can ever possibly imagine.
00:44:17
Speaker
The teeth will be with you and always with you. It's not impossible. I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home. They're no bigger than two meters. ah
00:44:29
Speaker
Stop it! You've got to get me this and do something else with your life. God damn it. I love you to death, but knock it off. You know, Lance Hendrickson, I saw an interview with him about this movie, and he was getting way up there in years, so it didn't start out about this movie at all. Oh, we're going to lose him soon. very sad. He was just talking about how he started acting and stuff, which is actually really interesting. But he said something about... Was trying to act normal and not like the devil? No, I guess he, like...
00:44:57
Speaker
got He like got off a ship but He was working on boats Much like Jean-Claude Van Damme this movie Don't forget to pay your dues And he like got off some ship And there was people doing some performance and like ah like Some kind of Shakespeare thing or something And the guy was like You look right, you want to act? And he's like, sure, you're paying, right? And then like from there he just kind of kept going Where is he from? we i'm going to say he's from Connecticut. I don't know if he he wasn't coming here from somewhere. He's just working on boats.
00:45:24
Speaker
We need to start writing the Lance Hendrickson biopic because he has to play him. Even him is like 10 years old. We'll be Lance. Just put a backwards hat on him. Yeah. Hello, fellow youth. I'm going to skin you with a knife dipped in shit.
00:45:39
Speaker
Use the force, Luke. Laugh it up, fuzzball.
00:45:47
Speaker
Why you stuck up half-witted scruffy looking nerf herder.
00:45:54
Speaker
right, I'm doing pretty well. Was that 10? Do I have 10 here? oh no, there's je more. Oh my God. You guys thought you were done with me. No, I have emotion. just bury them deep but like under the bong resin. You cram them into boxes. whiy I compartmentalize my emotions, and most of them are hungry, horny, thirsty, sober. don't think those are emotions. No? think those are states of being. What am I doing?
00:46:20
Speaker
I have emotions. I've been high. I've been sober. I'm okay. I'm a little hungry. Kind of horny. Looking for Third Street? Calm down.
00:46:30
Speaker
You're on Third Street and you're having a pizza in your hand. ah I got find a good line for this one, guys.
00:46:44
Speaker
Never tell me the odds. oh Now we're moving on to Yoda. Same actor. Oh, great warrior. Wars not make one great.
00:46:56
Speaker
Oh, you like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life.
00:47:06
Speaker
Adventure, excitement, enjoy, craves, not these things. You will be. You will be. Ray Romano, kind of like Yoda.
00:47:18
Speaker
Hi-ho. Hi-ho. Hi-ho. Boobies. Boobies. was candy.
00:47:31
Speaker
Just got a very deep voice. What'd you say about my voice, bitch? Hey, what you talking about? kager k It's oh Let's see here.
00:47:46
Speaker
Now we're going to do i like Alec Baldwin as Darth Vader, which is not too far off. If you only knew power of the dark side, Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father, Luke Skywalker.
00:47:57
Speaker
He told me enough. He told me you killed him. Darth Vader. No, I'm your father. Which is why to call you a fat little piggy. think that was him, right?
00:48:09
Speaker
Bob from Bookman's here. I lost it from a year ago when we were talking about it. It's not a very known accent. Bob from Bookman's. Our impersonation. It's it's Ross Perot.
00:48:21
Speaker
it's It's a bit Ross Perot. Are you a ghost jerking off on me? I'm Bob from Bookman's. Check out previous episode. Insert here. You don't remember that one? Death magic. Yeah, i know. I was saying you could insert the number of the episode.
00:48:40
Speaker
are we having fun? Do you know why the hipster burnt his mouth on the soup? He ate it before it was cool. man i meant my aunt marl why For more jokes like this, tune into Jack's other podcast, Things Your Dad Says. oh I've got lots of those. Dude, you guys you guys gotta check out the how flat and around this rock is. This is my backyard. Look it.
00:49:05
Speaker
Look at that. Fucking round. Fucking flat. This... is the best thing that's happened to me this year.
00:49:17
Speaker
Sound check, check, one, two, one, two. Okay, now sound check. I just did. Does that work? Sure. This podcast hasn't left the station and it is off the rails.
00:49:35
Speaker
Here's the new plan. It's the same thing we just did. some of these have to be, one of these has to be fun to the other and one has to be recording. This one says recording. The other one said recording. God, I hope we're recording. dude is It's already bad enough before my pupils are giant saucer-sized to try and figure out this contraption.
00:49:58
Speaker
I have a 0% orgasm delivery to your husband. I don't think that's correct. Not that you know of. That I know of. We got to talk off camera here, dude. I got a question. Don't worry. you There's no cameras. Yeah. All right. Let's talk now. We're going to pull a name from Boba Fett's head. And I got a random quote generator. This might be funnier. This might be less funny.
00:50:23
Speaker
Let's find out. Hi, Kyle Gabe.
00:50:28
Speaker
all right the first name we pull is mark walberg oh i gave him the character oh bro don't call me a mindless philosopher you overweight glob of grease not bad at c-3po
00:50:46
Speaker
who oh now you will pay the price for your lack of vision i'm the emperor you're gonna pay a price for lack of vision bro circle is complete All right. Mark Wahlberg gets two.
00:50:59
Speaker
I hope you're not picking up her breathing on the mic. It's fine. I'll just say it's you. Amber started talking about the mouth and two hands. I couldn't stop fucking panting, dude. And we killed Derek. it Looks like I'm single. and That was the last thing he ever said. This is ill-prepared, as you can tell. I'm very sorry we're professionals.
00:51:28
Speaker
um way to get
00:51:31
Speaker
The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the force, Pilgrim. Let's do another one. I suggest a new strategy, r two Let the Wookiee win. All right.
00:51:50
Speaker
Oh, have one more. Jerry Bob. That was our fish. Exactly. That's just a fish. That was just for you. Jerry Bob. That poor little fish. He had him for three years.
00:52:02
Speaker
Fucking fair beta that lived for three years. yeah never du I've heard that you're second one now. The bleeps have one. They were like this is this these like, these fish lived six months. And it was years.
00:52:14
Speaker
Yeah, that guy made it three years in like three different fish tanks. That's crazy. That doesn't happen. No. And he thought I killed him. And I was like, no, he was belly up, babe. make I'm pretty sure she was jealous because I loved him so much. Yeah. did and she She took a little piece of floss and dropped it in there and got him from behind.
00:52:34
Speaker
Derek was so sad he put on some finona He thought flushed him for no reason. he was like, are you sure he was dead? I was like, I swear he was dead. i dropped him in the bowl. yeah He tried to get out, but that doesn't mean he's not dead. um But so then the the two goons. Don't tell Derek, but I think we should get him an actual fish for his birthday. Okay, we'll call it Finn Savage.
00:52:55
Speaker
That's too much work. Boy meets Finn. Boy meets Finn. There we Oh, we're getting you another fish. don't like that shit. Also, I ain't cleaning that fish tank. i'm I did that for three years.
00:53:07
Speaker
yeah We don't have to put rocks at it. All right, fine. We'll get you a rodent. We'll call John Hamster.
00:53:16
Speaker
Candy will hate that because we'll put it in ball. All right, We'll get you a rat. We'll call it Rat You, Lillard. want a rat. I want a snake. I want all of these fucking things. And he's like, no.
00:53:28
Speaker
But if we did get a hamster and we put the hamster in the little ball that the hamster balls can roll around the house, Candy would have a fucking coronary. It would be trapped in the living room all the time. It's a sunken living room. It is a second. So the goons break into the house and like Tommy hears them. Get you bird called Birdie Sanders.
00:53:48
Speaker
Go on, sorry. Fuck birds. No birds in my house. I am here again to ask you for more bird feed. I think everyone should have the same amount of bird feed no matter what the size of the bird is. I'm just saying. Okay. 1% of 1% is 1%.
00:54:01
Speaker
ah No birds in my fucking house. Birds are best. Oh, Silverfish. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:54:09
Speaker
Actor activist? Actor activist. Actor activist. and active fish ron silver Actor Actor fish, Ron Silverfish.
00:54:22
Speaker
And then liquid break.
00:54:30
Speaker
She is going to motorboat a whole Tupperware full of potato salad. Brumski. Never tell me the odds. Never tell me odds. never tell me the eyes Don't get cocky, kid.
00:54:44
Speaker
You haven't heard the Millennium Falcon made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs. If you round down.
00:54:51
Speaker
If you round down. I haven't lost it. I'm fine.
00:54:57
Speaker
Your ego is writing checks that your table can't cash. Exactly. your table's writing checks that you're... No, tables can't write checks. You're being dumb. Boy, in conversation. Anyway, Luke, we're going have company. Get the glass table out.
00:55:11
Speaker
I know how to greet a crowd. Feel the glass bottom boat, don't know what I'm saying. Cans of chili.
00:55:19
Speaker
Truly wonderful, the mother of a child is. Man, sliced on his Yoda would be just fucking awful. He's already hard to understand. Then you start having to speak backwards and what have you.
00:55:31
Speaker
Did you know you could make your fart turn into a burp? That's a smart fart. Took the elevator out. It did. And then you don't shart when you burp. Exactly. You might burp, though. True. I'm vomiting. Would you rather shart or burp? Burp. Burp. Yeah, I don't know. I don't want to taste that shart. I can rinse my beard. can change my pants. Yeah, well, I'm not home. No, you're date, asshole, at a bar with a nice lady. If I'm in a public place, I'd rather verp. That's what we're talking about. I'm at home. doesn't matter. You can shit your pants at home. You would still rather- Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Right? Are you saying that you would rather be laying on your bed or sitting your couch and shit yourself a little bit, have to change your underwear and do an extra wipe instead of just go to the bathroom and wipe your fucking face? I don't have to taste it. If you do it right, you do. I love taking another shower. That's great. Fair enough.
00:56:24
Speaker
ah fuck And you need one. Are we recording right now? even yeah We are, and that's definitely going to fall somewhere into a stingray. I like doing this one. This is my favorite impersonation. This is what we got here.
00:56:37
Speaker
The Jedi uses a force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
00:56:45
Speaker
The circle is now complete. When I left you, i was but the learner. Now I'm the master.
00:56:53
Speaker
right. He's on. I like him. I don't know why i did the Doug theme song as a dog.
00:57:05
Speaker
I do want to see this, but like, this is a short quote. I want see Gary Busey as the emperor. so like, it would be like, i will make it legal. I am the Senate. No, no, no. Never heard the tragedy of Dark Plague is the wise.
00:57:20
Speaker
There are some pathways the Jedi's won't teach you to unnatural. Much like having chicken teeth, the teeth of a chicken save money by not going to the dentist.
00:57:30
Speaker
Soft fingers means for buttery hands, if you know what I mean.
00:57:36
Speaker
you gotta to go to a dark place to do Gary Busey. Cynthia Rothrock. Chun-Li is the character's name in Bloodsport. Was he the janitor? That was like the one killing everybody? No, that's Neil Flynn. No, that was killing everybody? different scrub show altogether.
00:57:53
Speaker
want to say it was the janitor. In one movies I was watching? Yeah. I think he might have been posing as in one of the martial law movies. He was like the janitor. Not martial law, Tiger Claws. Sorry. Yes, Tiger Claws. Your brain chooses to pay attention at the weirdest times. Yeah, I don't remember. think he was pretending to be a janitor. But anyway, which one's the one with him? Is that Kickboxer?
00:58:13
Speaker
Bloodsport. Bloodsport. Okay. and So then they're equal because Kickboxer has the the glass knuckles thing, but Bloodsport has that guy. Yes. Who is insane. Because Kickboxer has a guy in Thai face.
00:58:26
Speaker
Oh, okay. They put prosthetics on him. He's ah he's an African-American French guy. ah His brother is... Because they couldn't find any Thai actors. His brother... Okay, hold on real quick. You can cut all this because it's tangential. He is in Lionheart, the enemy from Kickboxer.
00:58:41
Speaker
is one of the guys in Lionheart, Mustafa, that tries to get him back. yeah I remember that guy. His brother plays Attila, yes the big fucker that like... In that other movie. The guy with the the curly hair. like Almost like ah if Andre the Giant had like a curly ponytail. yeah Yeah, put that on a fucking Photoshop. That's the guy who's in that last Kumite movie. And he's also the bad guy in Motherfucking Quest. Yeah. Yeah, got it. Anyway...
00:59:11
Speaker
That'll probably all be cut because it's so tangential. Let's see who we got next here. Let's see who we've got. Boba Fett, come on down. You're going to be being played by ray Romano. not going to be Boba Fett, though. It will be Ray Romano. Let's see here.
00:59:29
Speaker
Oh, so this is how Liberty dies with thunderous applause.
Closing Remarks and Final Impersonations
00:59:35
Speaker
Oh, Anakin, you're killing me.
00:59:40
Speaker
ah He's no good to me, Dad. That is Boba Fett. Before destroying my family, my father has it. I have it.
00:59:52
Speaker
My sister has it. My brother is tall. You have that power, too. Deborah. Because we do get Barry doing his nunchuck demonstration. Where he goes into a fantasy attack. His Numa Numa chucks. He looks good at first. I think he's got good. He's doing fine. I would smack myself with these head to tail. But then they cut to Daydream number eight or nine at this point, and it's him as the white ninja, because obviously they had to have a way to cover Barry's face. Which still think sequence, kid.
01:00:22
Speaker
I still think so. i don't i Here's to you, sequence kid. Yeah. But dude, whoever is doing this shit is impressive. Very much so. I mean, i know it's being cut like it's a movie, so you don't it's not a one-take kind of thing. They cut multiple angles. But this dude is rocking it with these nunchucks. It's not not impressive.
01:00:40
Speaker
like It's better than I can do. It's definitely definite not impressive it's definitely an Asian stuntman, though. Because see a close-up. It's his face. You can see his eyes through the mask. He's got darker skin than Barry. He has...
01:00:54
Speaker
Once again, Mrs. TBS doesn't care. She's not an HD, so she doesn't care. No one's going to notice, dearie. The owner of TBS, which would Rebecca TBS. Rebecca TBS. Rebecca TBS. I was going to say HBO, because that's where I watch lot of movies. Oh, it's Mrs. TBS. Oh, HBO. That's Reginald HBO. Reginald HBO? We don't put these kinds of movies on. His middle name is Home. His last name is Box Office. So it's Reginald Home Box Office. And Rebecca TBS is a totally bossy slut. Don't kink shame. She likes dick. I love Dick. Yeah, that too. And that.
01:01:32
Speaker
And here's the thing. When he's doing this thing and he's like, the nunchucks do hit him a few times and stuff, right Because that's what they do. you flip under your arm and stuff. If I know anything about ninjas, and I don't, ok they don't wear muscle pads. Because this dude has the rippedest muscle pads in this movie. This is not the same costume from the first scene. Because it's more defined muscle pads. Are we sure it's just not his? Also, you know... These look like muscle-shaped things filled with pillows. Are we going with, like, George Clooney nipples? The clouples? No, this unlike the bat suit, this didn't add nipples. It added like a ball imprint. You could definitely see this mammal toe. You did. um so But also, what I know about ninjas is from cinema and anime, you don't wear white unless you're in snow. Yeah. That's it. Well, you know, fire go. This is standing out beautifully. You know what? Fun little thing.
01:02:25
Speaker
I mentioned the movie New York Ninja to you, I believe. Vinegar Syndrome like produced the movie because it was forgotten movie from the 80s, whatever. Oh, they redo the voices. Yeah, they had people do voiceovers. They had to make up a whole script. We'll get to it when we get to it, but they definitely tried to get a hold of the director, and he was just like, yeah, good luck with that, and just didn't say anything to them. um That ninja wears white. Okay. But it's also all shot during the daytime because lights cost money. Miami Connection. We have the head ninja wearing white, and guess what? He stands out. Yeah. Just saying, guys.
01:02:55
Speaker
But ah so then we get to, well, real quick, just a side thing. Chuck Norris does meet Bo Bridges, and Bo Bridges is like, you know, I've heard a lot about you. Yeah. Because that my son is insane. um So my kid's kind of psycho and won't shut up about you. hey you know, I've heard a lot about you.
01:03:10
Speaker
I'm pretty sure my son's going to grow up gay. I feel like he said. It's fine. Because he's got a really weird attraction. know what? I think Bo Bridges would be okay with his. I think he'd be fine. Bo Bridges is a decent dad. He's just busy. And I like the actor a lot, by the way. We didn't talk about Bo Bridges much this episode. No, we didn't. Because he's not in it much. When he is, he's just kind of too busy to be doing anything else. Yeah, and that's kind of the point. He's single parenting. Yeah, exactly. But i just in general, I just want to say I like Bo Bridges. I do want to say i think his his line was, i feel like I know you with how much my son talks about you. yeah And Chuck Norris just backs out of this movie. Chuck Norris is like, I'm not having a seat right there. Never mind. You know what? No, I'm not having a seat. I'm going to go have a seat. On an airplane. Oh, yep.
01:03:52
Speaker
And these blast points, too accurate for sound people. Only Imperial Stupor, Storm 2, only Imperial Stupors are this precise. Yeah. Exactly.
01:04:05
Speaker
No reward is worth this.
01:04:09
Speaker
Counter Reeves, Han Solo, your thoughts. Yeah, we know we've dealt I don't need to drink his pee to be in his squad, do I? I'm not going to do this one right now because he should be safe for last because I'm pretty sure this says Vin Diesel and he's just... Who wrote Vin Diesel?
01:04:28
Speaker
Yeah, Vin Diesel. He's going to get one quote. I'm really upset that I wrote that. Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating a That's Sly Stone.
01:04:39
Speaker
Fairly. Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating... Nope. We're going leave it. Christopher Walken for the win here. Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the dark side.
01:04:56
Speaker
We've done that one there. We've done this one too. i think we're going to get repeats now. Sir, it's quite possible this asteroid is not entirely stable. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.
01:05:12
Speaker
right, well, thanks for dealing with me, guys. um We'll see if this recorded. i really kind roomed for that it didn't.
01:05:53
Speaker
right, well, that was fun.