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Creating Parent and Child Micro-Moments of Joy and Memories
12 Plays8 days ago
Creating Parent and Child Micro-Moments of Joy and Memories – a conversation with author Bitsy Kemper.
With over twenty books published Bitsy Kemper is a prolific children’s author. In her latest book, her first for grown-ups, Bitsy has created a five minute a day devotional journal to help mothers create micro moments of joy and happiness.
Mommy & Me Micro-Moments: A 5-Minute a Day Devotional Journal.
In this episode of the Abeceder work life balance podcast Rest and Recreation, Bitsy explains to host Michael Millward the advantages of creating micro parent child moments.
Bitsy explains the importance of being present and focused when communicating with a child, who is experiencing for the first time, what we as grown-ups take for granted.
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You can find out more about both Michael Millward, and Bitsy Kemper at Abeceder.co.uk .
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Being a Guest
If you would like to be a guest on Rest and Recreation, please contact us using the link at Abeceder.co.uk.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Rest and Recreation' and Zencastr
00:00:05
Speaker
Made on Zencaster. Hello and welcome to Rest and Recreation, the Work-Life Balance podcast from Abecedah. I'm your host, Michael Millward, the Managing Director of Abecedah. As the jingle at the start of this podcast says, Rest and Recreation is Made on Zencaster.
00:00:25
Speaker
Zencaster is the all-in-one podcasting platform on which you can make your podcast in one place and then distribute it to many places, all of the major platforms like Spotify, Apple, Amazon and Google. It really does make making content so easy. If you would like to try podcasting using Zencaster,
00:00:50
Speaker
Visit zencaster dot.com forward slash pricing and use my offer code ABACEDA. All the details are in the description. Now that I have told you how wonderful Zencaster is for making podcasts, we should make one. One that will be well worth listening to, liking, downloading and subscribing to.
00:01:13
Speaker
As with every episode of Rest and Recreation, we won't be telling you what to think, but we are hoping to make you think.
Introducing Bitsy Kemper and Name Origins
00:01:22
Speaker
Today's Rest and Recreation guest is Bitsy Kemper, a somewhat prolific author of children's books, and also the author of a new book called Mommy and Me, Micro Moments, a five minute a day devotional journal.
00:01:41
Speaker
Now, Bitsy is from Sacramento in California, United States of America. Now, I'm really pleased to be able to say that I've been to California, but not to Sacramento. It is the capital of California. So if I do decide to go to Sacramento, I will be sure to arrange my travel at the Ultimate Travel Club.
00:02:02
Speaker
because the Ultimate Travel Club gives me access to trade prices on flights and hotels, package deals, and all sorts of other travel essentials. There is a link and a membership discount code in the description. Now. Hello, Bitsy. Hello, Michael.
00:02:21
Speaker
How is California today? Well, you know, we have a rare, rainy day. You don't hear that very often. Well, you're talking to someone who's in Yorkshire in the United Kingdom at the moment. We are expecting a big storm over the next couple of days. Lots of strong winds and lots of rain, so I'm a little bit envious of you now in Sacramento, California. Yeah, the the rain is more of a like tiny little sneeze. It's not real. It's not a full on rain. Okay, please. Could we start by you telling us a little bit about Bitsy Kemper? Sure. Well, emphasis on Bitsy, I can tell you a funny story as to why, why I'm called. Please. So my real name is Elizabeth. I was the youngest of five kids in five years.
00:03:05
Speaker
And my brothers and sisters had a tough time saying Elizabeth, so they called me Little Bit, and that evolved into Bitsy. So you were called Little Bit because you were the youngest? Yes, I was the youngest, and I was pretty small at the time as well. I was a lot smaller than they were. Good things come in small packages there, don't they?
00:03:25
Speaker
yeah But I need to tell you why I was named Elizabeth. Please. Yes. Funny story that your listeners I think would appreciate the week that I was born. Queen Elizabeth came to the United States and she was all over the papers and news and everywhere you turn. That's what people were talking about. And when My sister had heard that I was born, that it was a girl. It just so happened that the newspaper that was closest to us, to her, um it said, Queen Elizabeth, she's here. And my sister told all my relatives, that that's, that's my sister. Look, that's my sister. thou Because she just decided I was newsworthy, I guess. And so my dad said, my sister told so many people that my name was Elizabeth.
00:04:14
Speaker
that it was easier for them to name me Elizabeth than to retell everybody what my name is.
00:04:23
Speaker
that That's a really good story. The other thing, though, is you've explained that you're called Bitsy because your siblings had difficulty pronouncing Elizabeth. And of course, the late Queen Elizabeth II is known in her family by the name Lillibet because she herself had difficulty saying her name Elizabeth. So her grandfather, King George, started calling her Lillibet and it stuck.
00:04:52
Speaker
And so there's, there's more than one similarity. It's a very small connected world. Yes. Wow. That's something.
Transition from Marketing to Children's Books
00:04:59
Speaker
Yeah. I'm talking to someone very special.
00:05:04
Speaker
yeah So how did you, yeah how did you get into writing children's books? Well, my background is corporate marketing. I left the corporate world after my second child. And then on stroller walks with my third child.
00:05:20
Speaker
I've read so many children's books by then to the kids as they're going to sleep, that I started writing them in my head at the time. Just, I would challenge myself to come up with one more verse because I was doing it in rhyme. And, you know, i'm like yeah he was a baby. He was an infant. he He couldn't judge me if the words didn't rhyme. So I feel like that was the the first book that I wrote. It was in my head. It's not published, but since since then I have 21 books out and pretty soon I'll have 23 children's books out. Nice. So that's, you truly are quite prolific in the children's book department. And of course you're the mother of, is it three or four people? I have three kids, four if you count my husband.
00:06:11
Speaker
Because he disagrees with you on that. Yeah, he does not find that as funny as I do. So you've written 23 children's books and then you sort of like almost turn from poacher to gamekeeper or gamekeeper to poacher and you write a book for their parents instead. Yeah. So I like to say I'm writing a book for grownups as opposed to writing an adult book because that sounds kind of sassy when you say I'm writing an adult book. um So this is my, this is my very first book for grownups. It's written for the mom to be read and there's activities to do with the child.
00:06:49
Speaker
You've called it mommy and me, micro moments, five minutes a day devotional journey. So many words in there. In this context, what is a micro moment?
The Importance of 'Micro Moments'
00:07:01
Speaker
A micro moment is a term that I just came up with. I'm sure other people use it for other reasons, but I refer to a micro moment as a snapshot in time that you would otherwise forget or you would not even notice.
00:07:19
Speaker
but because you're present and aware, it becomes a little bit more important. Like the difference between saying time for bed versus looking your child in the eye and saying time for bed. You know, it's just, you know, you're when you're present with your child, your family, your coworker, there's such a difference. I mean, if a mom tucks their child in bed and is reading a bookstore child's book to them before they go to bed. But the mom's mind is on her agenda, her laundry, her the file she has to send before midnight. And, you know, the child is aware of that. The child senses that the mom isn't fully present.
00:08:05
Speaker
Yes, I live on a road that has primary schools at the other end. And very often, as I'm sort of like around in the front of the house, getting ready to go to work, whatever, I will see parents walking their child to the school, which is great, you know, it's great exercise in the start of the day, all this stuff. And sometimes you see them again, at the end of the day, picking a child up from school. Sometimes you will see someone who's an adult who's on their mobile phone,
00:08:34
Speaker
looking as if they're checking emails or text messages or something. And the child is walking behind them, dragging their school bag. following rather than actually engaging with their parents. And because their parent isn't engaging with them, they're focused on work. That's the sort of thing that you mean, isn't it? It's like, if you are going to walk your child to school, then walk your child to school. Yes, be present. yeah If you are going to spend time with them, spend time with them. In my team at Abecedah, we're HR professionals, but we have a rule that somebody can, and it has happened,
00:09:14
Speaker
the member of the team has been in their car parked up outside their child's primary school, been on the phone with me and then said, but I just need to interrupt you now because my daughter's getting in the car. So I need to focus on finding out what sort of day she has had at school. I'll catch up with you again tomorrow. And that's it. And that is, that is 100% perfect as far as I'm concerned. That's an amazing thing to hear, isn't it?
00:09:42
Speaker
Yeah, it's just that child does not need to know about work because that child has had a day at school and just asking them about that day makes that day the focus and so much more important. yes and and So yeah, if you continue that conversation, the child knows that they aren't the priority. Yes, they know that Yes. And that then means that that child is going to take longer to get from the school gate to your car because there'll be something else that would might be the priority. And yet when that child arrives with you, you make them that priority. You're present. And I now understand a little bit more about what a micro moment is. The pickup in that example, the child will feel like the adult is picking them up as a chore.
00:10:29
Speaker
as opposed to looking forward to seeing the child at the end of the day. Yes. And it's the looking forward to seeing them, making sure this is as big a time in my day as it is in yours. Right. I understand yeah the micro moment is being present for that person and focusing on what it is that you are doing with that child.
00:10:51
Speaker
not allowing yourself to be distracted from them. Are these things that you have to create or are they things that you have to recognize as they're happening? And I suppose you've already answered that. It's it's both, isn't it? You can recognize them as they happen, but you can you also have to consciously try and create them as well. Right. Yeah. And it's simple things like a child picking. I mean, the whole reason I came up with the idea for the book is I hate throwing my neighbors under the bus for this, but their child had picked up a leaf and was trying to show it to us, but the grownups were talking. And meanwhile, my teens are in their room. You know, I hadn't seen them for two days. And I thought, ah, this window of time where a leaf is so exciting to the child to just dismiss it and say the grownups are talking yes like that that. That could have been a micro moment that could have she could have knelt down, looked at the leaf and said, wow, what do you want to tell me about it? And anything. She could have given herself the grace of five seconds to look the eyele child in the eye and make them seen. Yes. And so sadly, we just miss it. I mean, I'm not perfect. I don't do I'm not doing this all day long. I don't have a microphone from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed. But there's just something to be said about being present.
00:12:15
Speaker
ah difference. So you can create them. Being present, it's also when we talk about oh the child's first step, their first word, but it's also recognizing that the things that we as grown-ups, I'm going to use grown-ups because that's your phrase rather than yours, grown-ups as grown-ups We've forgotten what it's like to do something for the first time. It's a novelty, more than a novelty, so it's a wonderment to a child to had to hold a leaf that the other day was on the tree and it's fallen down.
00:12:53
Speaker
There's so much to be learned in the fact that leaf is right touchable. Whereas a couple of days ago, it wasn't. Yes. A mom's going to write down, you know, when you lost her first tooth or, you know, the first day of school, those kinds of questions. And those will be documented. But what about all those other tiny micro moments? Like I said, with the leaf, I mean, that that has the opportunity to be a lasting memory. Yes. For both of them. Yes. Listening to you talk, I'm reminding of how very often people can spend a lot of money on gifts for children. The gift has a lifespan, it's forgotten. But when you spend time with a child, they remember those experiences. Yes. It's the time that you spend with a child that is important to that child. And that can be a whole day out doing something special.
00:13:43
Speaker
Or it can be, like you say, these micro moments that last minutes will actually show the child that they are important. And the experience yes that they are having of life is important iss as important to you as it is to them. Yes. Yes. And you know, it doesn't have
Bitsy's Devotional Journal for Mothers
00:14:00
Speaker
to be five minutes. I mean, my book, I have it broken down into five minutes a night or five minutes a day, whenever you choose to do it.
00:14:06
Speaker
But you can just take literally five seconds and make a difference. Yeah. I'm thinking as a teenager, the fact that the child knows that you are interested in them who means that you're more likely to have more constructive conversations when they are in their destructive stage. And you might have done. Right. I mean, you can be on the phone sometimes.
00:14:30
Speaker
ah But you should acknowledge to the child, I'll be right off. yeah I mean, it's like the difference. If you meet someone for lunch and they're on their phone when they arrive and they put the phone next to their water glass.
00:14:45
Speaker
as opposed to putting it it in their pocket, their, their purse, whatever. Right. I mean, you that that sends a message. That's saying, you know what, I'm with you only because I am in between yeah what I really want to do, yeah what I need to be doing. Yes. It makes a lot of sense. Yes. I understand that. You've also used in the title of the book, the word devotional and that's a big word. In some ways it's quite a scary word. So yeah why did you decide to call it a devotional journal?
00:15:14
Speaker
So devotionals are um really a genre of books, and they're kind of standard, if you will, meaning they all have a very similar form format, where there will be a Bible verse, some kind of a prayer, like an editorial, if you will, about it, and there might be a closing prayer or something.
00:15:37
Speaker
So what I've done is I've taken that format and given it a twist where the action after the Bible quote relates to it in some way. Like there's one where you have your you child do an outline of their hand and in the book, so it's really a ah ah journal, a devotional journal, then you do your hand over it and that relates back to being held in the palm of your hand. Yeah, there's a lot of opportunities to bring things back and there's opportunities to completely ignore the Bible verse if you want to and just do the fun activities with your kid. Yeah. So, so this isn't, although you've used Bible quotations within the book because it's a devotional journal, it isn't a book simply for people who would classify themselves as Christian. It is something that could be used by any anyone regardless of their faith or no faith. Yeah. I first had my friend read it.
00:16:37
Speaker
she so She called me up. She said that she and her brother, she's an adult, right? she Her brother was visiting and she said they were laughing so hard doing it with each other that she said she can't wait for her teens to come back from school because she's going to do it with them. So there's plenty of ways to adapt the book to what you want to do. It's really supposed to be fun. Yes. Yes. That sounds great. So who do you expect is going to buy the book, and who do you think will use the book? Because it's not a textbook, it's a devotional journal, so it's not a book that you read, it's a book that you use. But are the people who are going to buy it different than the people who are going to use it? Is this a book that will be gifted? Yeah, that's a very very good question. Like, I originally wrote it for moms, but a mom will be a buyer of the book,
00:17:28
Speaker
but it's probably gonna be more grandmothers buying it for their daughter who just had a child or maybe ah an aunt giving it to their sister to do with their child. So it's it's a book that will be bought by mothers to give to other people, other women who are about to become mothers. Yes, yeah. I think it's there's gonna be a ah larger percentage of people buying it that are getting it for someone else to enjoy, to appreciate. We've mentioned a couple of times during our conversation that children grow up and they become teenagers. And there's a little bit of devilment in me. I can picture a scene, it's like rounded dinner tables, teenagers being like the teenager. The mother will say, shall we have a look at our micro moments book, our journal?
00:18:21
Speaker
Or the the truculent teenager is there, so they brought his first girlfriend home to meet his parents and this sort of stuff.
00:18:31
Speaker
Shall we share the journal of him growing up? Yeah, let's show them. I mean, some of them are filling the blanks where you're asking the child, like, what's your favorite color? What's your favorite TV show? What's your favorite song? Because when you're an adult, or when you're a teen, you don't remember which TV shows you watched or songs you sang. What's your favorite outfit to wear? I mean, I asked moms to write it in the child's own words.
00:19:01
Speaker
and I mean, think of how funny that would be reading aloud. Okay. You said your favorite outfit is end. I quote dragon pants with, you know,
00:19:13
Speaker
Pokemon hat. i don't I'm remembering that my own mother has pictures of me as a three-year-old in a homemade batman costume and trying to slide down the pole that was holding up the yeah washing line.
00:19:33
Speaker
I'm just admitted to it. I have just admitted to it. Please post it. Please post that picture. ah but The amazing thing is i was I was as cute then as I am now. Oh, of course you are. But you've written 23 books for children. You've then moved on to writing a book for grownups. What was the difference between those two genres? I would say, especially coming from the corporate world, I found the children's book industry to be
00:20:10
Speaker
almost suspiciously welcoming because in the computer world, right, if I have the the the microchip to be put in a laptop, it's either going to be my my chip or somebody else's chip. So we're always in competition where what's different in the children's book industry is if I write a picture book and they're is a Rest and Recreation podcast book ah for children.
The Children's Book Industry vs. Corporate Marketing
00:20:42
Speaker
If your book sells, then my book has the better odds of selling because that means picture books are selling and people don't buy just one book. The fact that they're buying books is a good sign. So I was and was very excited to see how welcoming fellow children's book writers are.
00:21:04
Speaker
and I think I'm finding just a little bit of the competition and in the grown up world because let's say if it's a devotional, right? You want to do a devotional over the summer because you have some spare time. You're probably just going to buy one. So there is a little bit of competition there.
00:21:24
Speaker
I think you might find that people will buy on the basis that a parent would bring the book out later in a child's life and look at it and laugh and smile and cry with the child as they get older. um I think some parents will probably buy a journal for each child. Oh, yes. and for In this sake, oh I would love for parents to do that because it would be so fun to hear the differences in the answers from, you know, someone who's five versus someone who's eight. like ah Jumping between genres is something that you help other authors to do, isn't it? Because you've, as well as being an author, you coach other authors and you have a successful program that gets authors from concept to manuscript in 31 days. Please, could you you tell us a little bit about that program? Okay, so that's the 31 days is a little bit, is slightly different. The 31 days is to get the author to
00:22:22
Speaker
Publicize themselves a little bit better to what's called an author platform in social media So the 31 days is there something that you do every day? That's similarly to the micro moments. That's small that should have a big return in the end children's book writers don't like to think of themselves as a salesperson or they don't like to look at their book as a product but it is yes So, you know, it's hard for authors to say, buy this because what you're saying is like me, right? Because your book is very personal. So it's it's challenging it's challenging for most authors to push their own book confidently. But right you don't buy it you don't write a book, so nobody will buy it. That's true.
00:23:15
Speaker
Right? know But then I do help other separately from that. I do help other writers if they have ideas like taking their idea and putting it into a book or making their book better.
00:23:27
Speaker
Yes. There's obviously been a lot of learning that has happened in the process of writing 23 books for children and now one book for grownups. I'm sure there will be more books for grownups as well, but for the moment, let's see.
Conclusion and Farewell
00:23:43
Speaker
Thank you very much for telling us about your book, Mommy and Me, Micro Moments, a five minute a day devotional journal. It's been very interesting and I really appreciate your time. Thank you very much.
00:23:55
Speaker
Thank you for letting me share with your listeners about the important concept of micro moments. Yes, I agree with you. Thank you. I am Michael Millward, managing director of Abecedah. In this episode of Rest and Recreation, I have been having a conversation with Bitzi Kemper, a somewhat prolific author of children's books and of Mommy and Me Micro Moments, a five minute a day devotional journal for grownups.
00:24:23
Speaker
You can find out more about both of us at abbacida.co.uk. There is a link in the description. The description also includes links to all of Bitsy's books. That description, just like Bitsy's books, is well worth reading. I must remember to thank the team at matchmaker dot.fm for introducing me to Bitsy Kemper.
00:24:43
Speaker
If you are a podcaster looking for interesting guests, or if like Bitsy, you have something very interesting to say, matchmaker dot.fm is where matches of great hosts and great guests are made.
00:24:56
Speaker
There is a link to matchmaker dot.fm and an offer code in the description. If you have liked this episode of Rest in Recreation, please give it a like and download it so that you can listen anytime, anywhere. To make sure you don't miss out on future episodes, please subscribe.
00:25:13
Speaker
Remember, the aim of all the podcasts produced by Apocita is not to tell you what to think, but we do hope to make you think. For today, all that remains for me to say is until the next episode of Rest and Recreation. Thank you for listening and goodbye.