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The Happy Work Life Map – a conversation with creator Stephen Shortt
12 Plays4 days ago
Focus on understanding and achieving the end goal
Stephen Shortt is a career talent strategist who has developed the Happy Work Life Map.
Stephen is on a mission to make the world a better place, with happy people in fulfilling, rewarding careers! An important part of having a happy career is being happy across every aspect of life.
Stephen explains why he defines happiness in life as being making progress towards purpose – whatever your purpose is for you…
Michael and Stephen explore how happiness is not a single destination or thing – it is a journey that unfolds through key areas in our lives: celebrating achievements, embracing gratitude, building skills and habits, nurturing meaningful connections, and contributing to the world around us.
Stephen explains how he uses the Happy Work Life Map to help people to explore these elements for themselves and what resonates with them.
How we define happiness is as unique as we are. Stephen provides insights into how we can all define what makes us happy.
You will leave this episode feeling empowered to cultivate joy, purpose, and a life that feels both balanced as well as deeply fulfilling and rewarding.
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Transcript
Introduction to Podcast and Guest
00:00:05
Speaker
on zencastr Hello and welcome to Rest and Recreation, the work-life balance podcast from Abysida. I'm your host, Michael Millward, the Managing Director of Abysida.
00:00:18
Speaker
to Today, I am talking to Stephen Short, who is the creator of the Happy Work Life Project. And we're going to be talking about work-life balance.
Zencastr Promotion
00:00:28
Speaker
As the jingle at the start of this podcast says, rest and recreation is made on Zencastr.
00:00:35
Speaker
Because Zencastr makes every stage of the podcast production process, from recording to distribution, so easy. I encourage every podcaster, new or established, to try Zencastr.
00:00:48
Speaker
Use the link in the description to access discounted subscriptions. Now that I have told you how wonderful Zencastr is for making podcasts, we should make one. One that will be well worth listening to, liking, downloading and subscribing to.
00:01:04
Speaker
As with every episode of Rest and Recreation, we will not be telling you what to think, but we are hoping to make you think.
Stephen Short's Mission for Happiness Design
00:01:13
Speaker
Today, my Rest and Recreation guest is Stephen Short.
00:01:17
Speaker
Stephen is the founder of the Happy People Project, which helps individuals and teams live and work happier by design. The MAP or and a um stands for Highlights, Appreciation, Progress, People and Your Contribution, guiding people to make time for what fuels them, not just what fills their calendar.
00:01:40
Speaker
I like all of that, and I'm hoping we're going to find out an awful lot more about it. But Stephen is based in Dublin, the capital of Ireland. And when I go to Ireland, I always make my travel arrangements with the Ultimate Travel Club, because that is where I can get trade prices on hotels, flights, holidays, trains, and all sorts of other travel related purchases.
00:02:05
Speaker
You can as well use the link in the description, which will take you to discounted membership fees. And you can access all of those trade prices as well and save yourself a whole load of money.
00:02:17
Speaker
Now that I have paid some bills, it is time to make an episode of Rest and Recreation and say hello to Mr. Stephen Short. Hello, Stephen. Michael, how are you? good to Good to be here. Thanks for having me.
00:02:29
Speaker
ah It's a great pleasure. Thank you very much for making the time available. I know you're very busy man. We're all going to be very happy today, I'm hoping. I'm looking forward to it. Well, I hope so, yeah. you know One of the things that I've heard about you is that you well you've said that as more people push for four-day work weeks and flexible hours and remote work, we're seeing new challenges emerge for people, which is basically what to do with the time we gain.
00:02:55
Speaker
Rest isn't about doing nothing. It's about doing something meaningful. That is what I was thinking when I decided that we needed to run a podcast called Rest and Recreation and find ways for people to do positive things with their time off work.
00:03:14
Speaker
So I am really looking forward to finding out more about what it is that you do. But before we do that, please could we start by explaining a little bit about how you ended up doing what you do now?
00:03:27
Speaker
Sure. and So i have grown up in two family businesses, so I'm a second generation entrepreneur. started working i mean Started working summers when I was 13, 14.
00:03:38
Speaker
and We had an English language school where we taught English, the foreign language. So I was running summer camps for a while. Then I was doing marketing, doing lots of international travel. Then i bought that business. So i have a whole series on ah family business planning and family business succession planning and things like that.
00:03:55
Speaker
um But sold the language school just before COVID. Now, i didn't know COVID was going to be as deep as it was. I didn't know that COVID was a thing when we were when we were selling it. I've often been accused of having some kind of insider knowledge because the timing was so perfect. Paul always said, if I knew COVID was coming, I wouldn't have just sold the business. I would have bought Bitcoin, Pfizer stock, and PPE companies. So I didn't know it was coming.
00:04:24
Speaker
I've been focusing on the other business, which is psychometrics, career guidance, personality profiling. And the reason that the Happy People Project came about is, so i've I'm on a mission and I've been working quite a bit on my why and what I want to be doing in my life.
00:04:41
Speaker
What I want to do, and ah it's stated everywhere on my LinkedIn, on my website and everything else, that I want to make the world a better place with happy people in fulfilling, rewarding careers. So we focus on the career side of things in our work.
00:04:53
Speaker
But then I spent quite a bit of time looking at the other side of that, the happy people part, because... careers take up a huge part of our lives, but actually if we're in the wrong career or if we're in a career for the wrong reasons. So I wanted to help people to start to think about their life by design.
00:05:12
Speaker
Then as these things often happen, um, the the universe made me look at this in a much deeper way. So about a year, little over a year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with type two diabetes, which is the self-inflicted
Health Challenges and Happiness Framework
00:05:27
Speaker
one. So too many of the nice things and, um,
00:05:32
Speaker
became type 2 diabetic um but in the months and months leading up to it because I didn't know I had the diabetes I was having like massive mood swings the sugar levels were like like a roller coaster and crashing and and everything else and I was in a really not happy place I won't say I was depressed I was really really down but ah there are people who struggle with depression who are in a much deeper place than I was but I was not in a good place and I wasn't in a happy I started doing a bit of reading, started talking to mentors, started really figuring out what can I do? And I started making lists and I started looking at what I wanted and ah in my mid-40s. So like, is this a midlife crisis? what am What's going on with me? um So I started, as I said, I started reading, started talking to people.
00:06:18
Speaker
And I came up with this basic framework and my wife and I actually went through an awful lot of this and created this happy framework because in all of the research, in all of the conversations, the different buckets of what lead people to feeling fulfilled and happy really sit in five distinct but overlapping buckets.
00:06:42
Speaker
For me, understanding what those buckets are. So you you mentioned them at the the top of the podcast. So the first one is highlights. So in if you look forward 20, 30 years, what do you want to look back on as these are the highlights of my life? For some people, it's marriage with kids. For some people, it's business. For some people, it's travel or a mixture of all of these things or anything.
00:07:05
Speaker
What is it that you want in your life? Not... what you think people think you should want or what people think you should want. It's what do you actually want? And this is the this is the crux of it.
00:07:17
Speaker
And understanding and and and and and being honest with yourself about what you actually want as a highlight
Stephen's Framework: Appreciating Experiences
00:07:22
Speaker
in your life. right Then when you're looking forward, you need to look back. because whatever has happened to us in our lives has brought us to this point.
00:07:30
Speaker
So A is for appreciation. So appreciation is obviously for the people who have helped us, for the situations that have helped us, but also for the situations that have taught us hard lessons or difficult things that we've overcome and appreciating what that has given us and what whether that's resilience or and being able to see things from a different perspective, even the difficult things that have happened to us in our life.
00:07:53
Speaker
And the first P is for progress. What do we need to, what skills do we need to develop? What habits do we need to develop? What are the things we want to improve in ourselves? um Partly for our highlights, but also in our world. Like what do we want to do?
00:08:10
Speaker
him Then the second key is people. and We're not on this planet by ourselves. So who are the people? First of all, the people has two ah parts to it. First of all is who are the people that we actually want to spend time with? Because one of the feedback things that I get a lot is when people go through this exercise, they realize the people that are actually important to them are not the people that they're spending most of their time with.
00:08:32
Speaker
So first of all, who are the people that you want to be spending time with? Who are the people that you appreciate spending time with? But the second thing, the second part of the people is who are the people that you admire? You might not know them, or there could be people that you do know, but who are the people you admire?
00:08:49
Speaker
And what is it about them that you admire? Because psychologically, when we admire stuff in other people or traits in other people, it's generally because we want to develop those in ourselves. We want to have those traits ourselves. So that gives us another understanding as to what potential progress we can be making.
00:09:06
Speaker
And then the final bit of why is, again, we're not here to take, ah we're not here and just to be to be
Personal Contributions and Happiness
00:09:15
Speaker
sponges. We're here to be contributors of society. So why is your contribution? What do you want to put out into the world?
00:09:22
Speaker
And again, This for some people is i want to have a business and employ people. For some people, it's I want to make art. For some people, it's I want to make my community better. For some people, it's I want to be able to share ideas on a podcast or a blog.
00:09:36
Speaker
So whatever it is that is appealing to you, understanding. And again, it's what you actually want to contribute, not what you think other people think you should be contributing. Then when we go through all of that exercise, we start to see the golden threads and we start to see the things that are leading us potentially to be happy.
00:09:56
Speaker
And then those things become our purpose. So there's a lot of talk and I have an overarching mission and purpose, but there are lots of little purposes. There's lots of little goals and little things that we want to accomplish in a year, in 10 years, in 30 years or whatever.
00:10:11
Speaker
And if we are able to identify what those purposes are, then happiness comes from making progress towards purpose. So if we're able to identify, see those golden threads that are the things that are linking our happy, what do we want to move towards?
00:10:28
Speaker
And then moving towards that brings us happiness. So what does it feel like for someone to actually go through the happy model? It sounds like it could be quite challenging.
00:10:41
Speaker
um So it's not really we, what I do in workshops and what I do with people is I literally give them three minutes for each one of the sessions and just just constant nonstop writing. Not sentences, not novels, just words, feelings, stuff that pops into your head.
00:10:58
Speaker
The reason for three minutes is in the first 30 seconds, you'll have written down the two or three things that are either top of your mind or they're they're the most common things or the stuff that you might kind of feel this is what people, this is what I should be writing down.
00:11:14
Speaker
But if you constantly write for three minutes, you'll be surprised at what your subconscious throws out. And the reason it's three minutes is because three minutes is too short for your rational brain to kick in and go, oh, that's not feasible or that's not possible or that's not realistic.
00:11:28
Speaker
So that's the the mind dump. the When I do this with teams, I get people to then share their top two or three to be inspired by other people because then other people can add, oh yeah, actually that's something really cool or I hadn't thought of that in that three minutes.
00:11:41
Speaker
And they start to build this list out. So it can be done in a, like I've done it, plenty times with teams and people can do it either for personal happiness or for team productivity happiness or like when they talk about and happy and work so what are the highlights that you want from this project or this career what are the appreciation the people the pro the and your contribution so you can do it on a very granular level for a team and a project or you can do it for your life by design right But you're really getting people to share with you or with colleagues on a team their gut reaction to the question.
00:12:20
Speaker
Yeah. It's like the first reaction might be, well, this is what I'm supposed to say. The second reaction is the real one, but you haven't actually got into the the framework where you can say, well, I better put that down because people will think that's silly or there's no point in doing that because it's never going to work.
00:12:39
Speaker
Correct. ah The other thing that when people write these things down and when people have these things, once once they are able to either articulate even to themselves, People often underestimate people often overestimate what they can do in a year and they completely underestimate what they can do in five.
00:12:57
Speaker
Yes. Yeah, it's very difficult to sort of think, how long will this take? It sounds so simple, but you've really got to wait until your rational brain kicks in, I suppose, to actually analyze all the different issues.
00:13:10
Speaker
and then work out the plan. But what you're talking about, I suppose, is getting yeah something down on a screen on paper that this is what my aim is.
00:13:22
Speaker
This is going to make me happy. How I do it is the second problem. Then the rational part of it is where we bring in the map. yeah So the it's the happy work-life map. So the map is your measurable action plan.
00:13:34
Speaker
So you can have a one-year plan, a five-year plan, a 10-year plan, whatever it is. But then stating what that is, and then your rational brain can kick in because then you have to break it down step by step. Like in order for this to be true, these things have to have been accomplished. So I need to do this.
00:13:49
Speaker
If that seems too big, break that down into tall small steps. So as you're literally just going, well, okay, so I need to learn how to, I need to get more confident. Yeah, you need to learn to eat your elephant one mouthful at a time if you've got a whole list of things. One piece of it, one bite at a time. Absolutely.
00:14:06
Speaker
What part of this process do people find most difficult? Is it the the first part where yeah it's the gut reaction type element? And is it is there a particular question out of those five words that people find most difficult?
00:14:22
Speaker
Or is it the more rational part, which is which is the most challenging? What I've noticed when I'm doing this for teams and I see people who, there's a whole ah slew of people. So there's there's people who who write and write and write And there's other people who only write four or five things, but because they might've thought about that for one, for the highlights, they've only four or five things for the appreciation. They have a lot more things for the people. They have more things, for example.
00:14:48
Speaker
um So it depends on the category for the person. There's another thing that I talk to people and I prime at the beginning of this, the difference between a means goal and an end goal. um And the means goal is how to get to the end goal or the end goal is actually what we want to focus on. So the example I use is you can have somebody
Creating a Measurable Action Plan
00:15:09
Speaker
who's who's bought this massive mansion on the beach.
00:15:13
Speaker
but they're miserable because they have no one to share it with because the house was a means to an end. And the end was to have a space that you can share with loved ones and have parties and dinners and everything else. But in the pursuit of the means, as opposed to the pursuit of the end, they've actually...
00:15:31
Speaker
lost all of those connections. They've lost all of the meaning behind why they wanted that house. And that's why you see people who are so miserable and unhappy who on paper have everything they need. They have the fancy car, they have the house, they have the holidays and everything else. But it's because they those are the memes rather than the...
00:15:49
Speaker
the end goal of what they want to accomplish. So that's what I try to get people to think about. Yes. It reminds me of something that I once heard Oprah Winfrey say on one of her shows is that if you're miserable and you win the lottery, you'll still be miserable. You'll just have more rooms to moan in.
00:16:05
Speaker
Yeah, that's absolutely true. And it's about getting the things, the ingredients of life right. So you're happy and you'll be happy regardless of where you are because you put all these things into place.
00:16:17
Speaker
ah The other thing, people people are invariably happier when they have a clearer sense of where they are and what they want to do. So a map, by the very nature of a map, it's where you want to go, but you also need to understand where you are right now.
00:16:32
Speaker
Because a map is useless if it only has the destination. if he doesn't know where if you don't know where you are in relation to that, it's useless to you. So having that sense of where I am now, where I want to go, and then how do I go about getting there is incredibly important.
00:16:45
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. I'm wondering what type of people are doing this? And and one of the things that keeps on coming into my head is what sort of age range are the people that get most out of this type of process?
00:17:00
Speaker
So I've done it with young adults who are starting out on their career path. I've done it with very seasoned entrepreneurs. I've done it with executives. And I've done it with, on a one-to-one basis, I've done it with, let's say, career changers, people who are unhappy with what they're doing in their late 30s right mid to late 30s um who are kind of feeling a bit yeah that this is not what i want to be doing or this is not i i feel i've made a wrong choice somewhere and how do i go about changing that so it's right across the board then
00:17:33
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, well, I've done it with people right across the board. I don't think I've done it with anybody yet in third age, for example, people who are maybe coming, who are looking to see what they can do with retirement. It sounds like a great, ah yeah, it's a great tool for someone who is thinking about changing something in their life or is going through a process where They've got to change something in their life.
00:17:56
Speaker
And I'm a big fan at the moment of instead of describing you know third life as retirement, to make a positive retirement, it's about reinventing yourself so that you are something.
00:18:10
Speaker
You are someone rather than describing yourself. Well, I used to be person. because Absolutely. Because one of the things that I'm thinking that this is about, it's about creating a person rather than creating a job title.
00:18:25
Speaker
And too many of us go through life thinking of ourselves as our job, our job title, and what that says about us to other people. What you seem to be doing with the Happy People Project, and which I think the part of it that I think is most challenging, is getting people to actually be themselves and yet being themselves, thinking about what they want rather than what other people expect them to want because they went to this school or they've got this number of qualifications or they went to this university. and
00:19:00
Speaker
yeah Or they've they've been on this career path for 10 years. Yes. yeah There are lots of people who find themselves doing jobs, doing careers, because it was always what was expected of them rather than, well, actually, I would really like
Societal Expectations vs Personal Desires
00:19:18
Speaker
to do this.
00:19:18
Speaker
But no one's ever really asked them but what was they really wanted to do. There was an assumption, I suppose, in many ways. but so There's two things that have just jumped into my mind as you're when you're explaining that point of view. a couple of things. So I have... My my parents are in their late 70s, early 80s, and they're still very active.
00:19:40
Speaker
and So we like i have this re I have this real belief that you don't retire because you get old. I think you get old because you retire, because if you don't have a purpose, if you don't have something, and I see it so many times in the parents of my friends, who's ah exactly as you say, they go, well, I used to be a manager in this company, but now I...
00:20:02
Speaker
I'm retired. to anything I don't have a ah purpose. I don't have something to be getting up for every day. And that's when people get really frail and and not having their, they don't have a purpose to make progress towards. And that to me is, is really and fundamental.
00:20:17
Speaker
yeah But when I work with um family businesses and succession planning, I often see the current generation, they they're the ones that have a problem letting go of exactly as you said, that title is, well, I'm the the owner of x Y, and Z, or I'm the founder of X, Y, and z If I don't have that, what is my identity? And that's why they have such a problem letting go and letting the next generation take ah over.
00:20:39
Speaker
And so this is why, i mean, I've always done this kind of thing to try and help people get to the next chapter of their life, whether that's professionally, personally, whatever. um And having that and like clarity around, well, okay, what do I want to do with the next chapter of my life is really important for me.
00:20:58
Speaker
Yes, and but and you can't be happy unless you've decided, worked out, identified what that word, happy, means to you.
00:21:10
Speaker
And you've broken that down into five different um areas that people need to be able to describe for themselves, not for other people. Mm-hmm.
00:21:21
Speaker
Do you ever find people who you're talking working with who find it difficult work out what it is that they were happy about in the past or what would make them happy in the future? Is that ah people so constricted by other people's or societies or what they believe society's expectations of them are?
00:21:45
Speaker
So, yeah, i've I've had sessions where I've seen people writing very little for the highlights bit. um um I mean, I'll try and talk to them, obviously, not publicly call them up in front of the room or anything like that, but trying to talk to them. And there are some people who have, they have a couple of ideas of stuff they want, but it's they feel it's so grandiose that they can't accomplish that.
00:22:09
Speaker
But just the idea of doing that exercise, you can see it in their eyes that it sparked a couple of ideas that they're going to come back to this list after the session or tomorrow or over a cup of tea or something in the next couple of days, because they can see from the energy of the other people in the room that there's more possible for them.
00:22:27
Speaker
um And i I haven't had people that I've seen very often afterwards. It's normally I come and do the session, but um One of the things that I find probably the most gratifying is when people come, and this has happened a couple of times, whether whether it's about people or whether it's about the highlights.
00:22:49
Speaker
And when they get that notion of an end goal versus a means goal, it and they'll they'll tell me privately, it has unlocked a permission in them to actually do something that they want. And that to me is the most gratifying part, but that people are seeing...
00:23:05
Speaker
There's something here that has been unlocked for me. yeah It's something that I actually want as opposed to trying to keep the people around me who don't actually have my best interest at heart to keep them impressed or happy.
00:23:17
Speaker
and And seeing that switch in their brain and that start of that journey for them makes me really happy. Yes. You reminded me of people that we've spoken to on different podcasts who have described needing to make a change in life because they had got not so much into a work role, but they had, I am a parent, I am a father.
00:23:41
Speaker
And now my youngest child is now at university and they live yeah they've got a career and they're financing themselves. They've got their own their own home, all this sort What is my role after that, after have an empty nest?
00:23:59
Speaker
What is the situation that I'm, what am i going to do to make myself happy in between now and when I hopefully can say that I'm a grandfather? so What's going to happen now?
00:24:10
Speaker
And it is, i can see, process that is very useful for people to go through to actually identify, you know, what will make me happy? You know what am I going to look back on and say, yeah, that was a really happy time.
00:24:26
Speaker
And these are the people around me, all this sort of stuff.
00:24:30
Speaker
But it's not an easy process. And I'm thinking that one of the most difficult aspects of it is probably that people part, because I can imagine that people would be sitting down and identifying, actually, yeah i don't spend enough time with that person.
00:24:49
Speaker
that would make Spending more time with those people would make me happy. Too much of my time is being taken by those people. And then you've got that challenge of, I can change myself, but how do I remove the negative people from my
Managing Relationships for Happiness
00:25:06
Speaker
life? How do I get more time with the people that I really want in my life?
00:25:10
Speaker
I imagine that is the most difficult part of this model. So it depends that that depends very much in the relationship with those people. um i mean, if they're family and there's toxicity or there's other stuff, there's a whole slew of other issues that can go along with that. That's absolutely true.
00:25:27
Speaker
But actually, the biggest problem, ah not the biggest problem, and the biggest hurdle that I see people Struggle with. And then when they find that unlock is is that sense of an end goal versus the means goal and giving themselves the permission to think about what they actually want versus what they think they should want.
00:25:48
Speaker
that's That's where I see people struggle with. And when they when they unlock that, that opens so much more for them. Yeah, because it's about releasing yourself from the expectations that you believe you should have, and which have been imposed on you, imprinted on you, rather than what you want as an individual.
00:26:10
Speaker
Absolutely. makes a lot of sense. It makes an awful lot of sense. I have to ask, you know, is there anyone, any type of person who you don't think should get involved with this type of project?
00:26:25
Speaker
i am No, i mean, I think ah you do probably have to have a certain sense of self-awareness and a certain sense of you I mean, you can do this exercise and do nothing with it if you want. mean, you can do this exercise, oh, that's really lovely, and then put it on a shelf and forget about it.
00:26:45
Speaker
um yeah It kind of defeats the purpose of doing the exercise. But even if it puts that seed of actually maybe something is possible, um everybody can do it.
00:26:56
Speaker
The only time where I would... kind of not want somebody in the room is if they were negatively disposed and gone and they're they're kicking in that negativity from the very beginning like oh that'll never work or that's stupid or that's something else because then that affects the other people and the energy in the room i haven't had that i'll be perfectly honest i've i've never had somebody who's been negative about it even if they didn't know what was happening and they kind of went along with it because the I think the potential upside is appealing to people. um
00:27:27
Speaker
So I think everybody could do it and everybody could benefit Kramit. But so long as they're not coming to the process going, oh, this is a load of rubbish and I'm not going to get anything out of it, then obviously that's going to limit everything.
00:27:42
Speaker
Yeah, it's like most things in life. You've got to um have an open mind before you can properly embrace something. But that open mind can open up a lot of opportunities for a very bright future. i really like the model.
00:27:59
Speaker
And yeah, I really like it. And I'm grateful that you've spent the time today explaining more about it. But, you know, Stephen, thank you very much. Really do appreciate your time today. It's been great.
00:28:09
Speaker
My pleasure. Thanks for having me, Michael. Pleasure.
Episode Conclusion and Further Resources
00:28:13
Speaker
I am Michael Millward, the Managing Director of Abbasida. In this episode of Rest and Recreation, I have been having a conversation with Stephen Short, the creator of the Happy People Project.
00:28:25
Speaker
You can find out more about both of us at abbasida.co.uk. There is a link in the description. key part of being happy is being healthy. And that is why at Rest and Recreation, we recommend the health test from York Test, especially the annual health test.
00:28:41
Speaker
The annual health test from York Test provides an assessment of 39 different health markers, including risk factors like cholesterol, diabetes, different vitamin levels and organ function.
00:28:52
Speaker
The annual health test is conducted by an experienced phlebotomist who will complete a full blood draw at your home or workplace. Hospital standard tests are carried out in a UK AS accredited and CQC compliant laboratory.
00:29:06
Speaker
You can access your easy to understand results and guidance to help you make effective lifestyle changes anytime via your secure Personal Wellness Hub account. There is a link and a discount code in the description.
00:29:20
Speaker
I'm sure you will have enjoyed listening to this episode of Rest and Recreation as much as Stephen and I have enjoyed making it. So please give it a like and download it so you can listen anytime, anywhere.
00:29:31
Speaker
To make sure you don't miss out on future episodes, please subscribe. Remember, the aim of all the podcasts produced by Abbasida is not to tell you what to think, but we do hope to have made you think.
00:29:43
Speaker
Until the next episode of Rest and Recreation, thank you for listening and goodbye.