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From Secret Service to Giving Circle – a conversation with Lauren Fernandez
9 Plays22 hours ago
A woman reflects humorously and insightfully on the coping strategies that helped her deal with the challenges of working in a male-dominated environment.
Southern debutantes like Lauren Lusby Fernandez are not supposed to want a career in law enforcement, nevertheless she joined the US Secret Service.
In her book Talkback Barbie Lauren describes the lessons others can learn from her experience.
In this episode of Rest and Recreation, the work life balance podcast from Abeceder Lauren and host Michael Millward discuss
· The experiences that inspired the book
· The lessons others can learn from her experience
· How the desire to serve led Lauren to launch giving circle.
· The challenges of setting- up and running a not-for-profit
This episode of Rest and Recreation will inspire you to think about how you might contribute to your community.
You can find more information about both Lauren and Michael at ABECEDER.co.uk
Audience Offers – listings include links that may create a small commission for Rest and Recreation
Buy Talkback Barbie – the Secret Service edition on Amazon
Rest and Recreation is made on Zencastr, because creating podcasts on Zencastr is so easy, you can as well by visiting Zencastr and using our offer code ABECEDER.
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Being a Guest
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Rest and Recreation' Podcast
00:00:05
Speaker
made on Zencastr. Hello and welcome to Rest and Recreation, the work-life balance podcast from Abbasida. I am your host, Michael Millward, the Managing Director of Abusida.
Meet Lauren Fernandez: Life as a Secret Service Agent
00:00:19
Speaker
Today, i am going to be meeting former US Secret Service agent, Talkback Barbie. We will be discussing life in the Secret Service, as well as what Talkback Barbie, or rather, Lauren Fernandez, as she's also known, is doing now.
00:00:36
Speaker
As the jingle at the start of this podcast says, Rest and Recreation is made on Zencastr, the all-in-one podcasting platform that really does make every stage of the podcasting production process so easy.
00:00:51
Speaker
If you would like to try podcasting using Zencastr, visit zencastr.com and use my offer code, Abbasida. All the details are in the description. Now that I have told you how wonderful Zencast is for making podcasts, we should make one.
00:01:08
Speaker
One that will be well worth listening to, liking, downloading and subscribing to. As with every episode of Rest and Recreation, we will not be telling you what to think, but we are hoping to make you think.
Insights into 'Talk Back Barbie' Book
00:01:23
Speaker
Today's Rest and Recreation guest is Talkback Barbie, who is better known as Lauren Fernandez. Hi. Thank you for having me. It's not your turn yet. Oh, sorry. I still have wonderful things to say about you. oh my goodness. But I think you may have given us a clue as to why you were called Talk Back Barbie there. That's right. Yeah. Lauren is the author of Talk Back Barbie, the Secret Service Edition.
00:01:47
Speaker
And we will be finding out more about that book as we call as we talk. Lauren is based near Atlanta in Georgia, USA. I've not visited, but if I do, I will make my travel arrangements at the Ultimate Travel Club because that is where I can access trade prices on flights, hotels, trains, holidays, and all sorts of other travel-related purchases.
00:02:10
Speaker
You can also access those trade prices on travel by joining the Ultimate Travel Club. There is a discounted link in the description. Now that I've paid some bills, it is time to make an episode of Rest and Recreation and say, it's your turn now, Lauren. Hello.
00:02:26
Speaker
hi Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.
Challenges and Changes in the Secret Service
00:02:30
Speaker
I'm very happy to have you. Please tell me a little bit about who Lauren Fernandez is. I worked for the Secret Service for almost two years.
00:02:38
Speaker
I wrote a book about my experience working for the Secret Service. I am not your typical Secret Service officer by any means. You worked that one out already. Yeah, exactly. I am blonde hair, blue eyed. I'm a Southern debutante, born and raised in Georgia.
00:02:53
Speaker
I never had any police background or anything like that, but my dream was to become an FBI agent. But I knew I couldn't get into the FBI right out of college. So I applied to the Secret Service and the NSA, which is the National Security Agency.
00:03:08
Speaker
I got into the Secret Service. I had to prove myself again and again. i had a lot of discrimination when i came in. i was in situations where probably it was say unethical.
00:03:22
Speaker
They would put me against the largest guy in the classroom to wrestle against when everyone else was paired with someone of similar stature. i just had to show them that even though you are a blonde debutante that you can do whatever you set your mind to. And ah that's what I did. And the book is all about my hilarious stories, my journey, how I went from just being me, which is ah big talker and a Southern debutante, you know, being in heels and jewelry to working for the secret service.
00:03:53
Speaker
It sounds as if you went through that whole experience with a smile on your face. I did. What I discovered was it truly changed me as a person. I went in not knowing much about what I would have to encounter.
00:04:05
Speaker
Once I got there, i was pounded in the face multiple times because you're learning self-defense tactics. My wrists were torn and bruised from handcuffing techniques over and over.
00:04:16
Speaker
My legs wanted to fall off from running at 5 a.m. m every morning. ah My fingers were blistered from shooting guns hundreds of thousands of rounds a day. i had to really dig down deep. I had to discover Who I was inside and was I going to be a failure and be what everyone else thought I was supposed to be, which was to not work for the Secret Service because they thought I wasn't cut out for that job?
00:04:39
Speaker
Or did I have to look down deep inside and say, hey, I'm going to do what everybody says I can't do? I chose to dig down deep and prove to everybody that I could do it even when they told me I couldn't. I know what the Secret Service is, but can you just explain?
00:04:54
Speaker
Because there's the CIA, there's the FBI, there's the National Security and the Secret Service. What is the specific role of the Secret Service? So the Secret Service specific role is to protect the dignitaries and the president of the United States.
00:05:07
Speaker
I was uniformed to vision and then there are agents. So agents are the ones you see in suits. that travel all around the country, the world. But Uniformed Division does that as well. We go and we will clear spots for where, you know, if the president's going to go speak, we'll go up there a week ahead of time and clear the venue.
00:05:25
Speaker
Make sure that it's safe for the president. Make sure that there's no line of sight for somebody to come in. and take them out. You'll do stuff like that. I was stationed at the White House. You can sign up to travel or not to travel, so you can have a choice, but you could also be stationed at the vice president residency.
00:05:41
Speaker
But to be able to work in the White House every single day was an opportunity that I just think every day that I was able to do that. It was so unique. And I really enjoyed it. And i enjoyed I enjoy now sharing my experience, but also all my stories about what happened when I was there and just how the funny undercover kind of stories that go on that nobody thinks goes behind the scenes at the White House.
00:06:05
Speaker
You're not going to get me into trouble, are you? No, no, no. Everything is unclassified and i have there are no hidden secrets here at all. No. Okay, good. What is it like to actually be someone who works in the White House every day?
00:06:20
Speaker
i enjoyed it at first, but I am a very high energy, spunky, person. I felt like when I was at the White House, that was constrained because you are in a box or you're on a footbeat or you're manning a post and then you rotate and do that all day, every day.
00:06:39
Speaker
They can cancel your days off at a drop of a hat. They can make you stay four hours over They just call you in. So your your social life is really strained. And I was young at the time.
00:06:50
Speaker
I was right out of college. So I was 22, 23. That made it a little bit more miserable. I felt like I wanted some excitement. And every time there was excitement, like a fence jumper or something like that, I was always on the other side of the White House.
00:07:02
Speaker
So I never got to participate in all the fun and all the, you know, enjoyment of pulling your weapon out on a fence jumper. i was always on the other side of the White House where I heard everything on the radio. and all the excitement going on. And I'm like, what's going on? You've got to call me and tell me what's going on.
00:07:17
Speaker
so you needed a little bit more excitement than sitting and watching a screen all day. Yes. i felt like I needed just more interaction. I needed to use my brain more, you because you're opening and closing gates, you're doing all this stuff. and And the job is the career is extremely important.
00:07:34
Speaker
We have to have those people to protect the president. you It's a non-negotiable. But for me and my personality, as you'll read in my book, I just wasn't cut out for this position. like My personality was just too rambunctious, I think. And i I'm more of a people lover, I guess. And when you're in that position, you have to question everybody.
00:07:55
Speaker
When someone comes up and has a question for you, when there's a tourist taking a picture of you, you have to question everything. And you have to think negatively pretty much about everybody because you're you're in protection mode.
00:08:08
Speaker
And that's just not how my brain works. And so I had a very hard time doing that. That's why I make fun of myself and talk about all the hilarious stories in my book about it. But if you're in a job that isn't suited to your personality, you can very quickly work out that it it isn't right for you and you you move on to something else.
00:08:25
Speaker
That's exactly right. And that's what I eventually ended up doing. I needed something that worked with me. And I feel like when you find something that you pair well with, like you being a podcaster, you're so good at this and you're so good at talking to people and relating to people.
00:08:40
Speaker
When you find that, you just, you can't compare the happiness, the way you work hard, the way you focus on that career path and what you're doing is so important. And you work, you're a totally different worker when you do that.
00:08:53
Speaker
You, you just worked at, with a totally different mindset when you absolutely love what you're doing. I told you before we started that I've been looking forward to this all afternoon. Me too.
00:09:05
Speaker
There's almost a film in Talk Back Barbie. Who would play you Talk Back Barbie the movie? Right now. I'm currently writing and working with some people to really try to pull together either Netflix or Amazon Prime, whoever wants to take it on.
00:09:22
Speaker
and I have about almost four episodes written out. A funny, hilarious, family-friendly TV show. Great. I don't know if who would play me I need to figure that out, don't I? Because back then i was in my 20s, so I needed to be a young actress. I've always said, because the feel of the show has Legally Blonde and Elle Woods, Reese Witherspoon was the main actress.
00:09:47
Speaker
So I was kind of thinking her daughter would be a really good person to ask to play me. I know that they are regular listeners to Rest in Recreation. Listen, I absolutely love them. i love her Sunshine brand. She started with it's ah basically promoting books.
00:10:04
Speaker
I have a whole letter saying why my book would be for perfect for Sunshine. So she hears this, she can get in touch with me. We'll see what we can do. But you talk about doing things now.
00:10:16
Speaker
What is it that you're focusing on now?
Launching Bloom North: Supporting Nonprofits
00:10:18
Speaker
Yeah, so my sister and I just launched Giving Circle called Bloom North in the Milton, Alpharetta, Johns Creek, Cumming area of Georgia.
00:10:28
Speaker
They have an original branch, Bloom Atlanta, which is in the Buckhead area. who Elizabeth Burdett is the one who started that. She came up with the whole idea. this was her baby for 10 years before she launched this.
00:10:41
Speaker
And my sister and I sat down with her when we went to a couple of her ah her gatherings and we just discovered the heart and the soul of this giving circle. And we were like, well we can't come to Buckhead for all these events. How are we going to start something in our area?
00:10:56
Speaker
So she worked with us to launch Bloom North What is a giving circle? Bloom is a woman-centered giving circle that helps one non-profit per year collectively. So what we do is we collectively gather our resources, we volunteer with this non-profit per year, and it's it's a tax deduction as well because of it we your money goes to North Greater Community Foundation.
00:11:21
Speaker
So the money goes there, but the giving circle is women pulling their collective resources together to help nonprofits. The reason we say collectively is because we do that together and we feel like you can have a really huge impact on nonprofits when you pull your resources together.
00:11:39
Speaker
So it'd be great if I could give a thousand dollars to a nonprofit, but when you can pull women together and get 60, 70, $80,000 to donate to a nonprofit, that's life-changing. These nonprofits don't see checks like that all the time.
00:11:52
Speaker
And we're also trying to focus on local nonprofits to really have an impact on our local community. I'm wondering about how many nonprofit organizations there must be in your local community. So there are a lot, but we focus on only nonprofits that deal with women and children.
00:12:08
Speaker
So we kind of narrowed it down a little bit and we, it has to deal with women and children because like you said, there are so many nonprofits in our area. It is very hard to pull or shrink that list.
00:12:20
Speaker
So our council will get together and we will shrink our list to the top three that we vote on. And then our members, once you become a member, you are able to vote on your choice for that. We will partner with that year. And the the one that gets the most votes, we will partner with that year.
00:12:38
Speaker
When you say people become members, what sort of people can become members? Unfortunately, only women, but it does not matter your age. It does not matter anything. So we only, it's only women.
00:12:49
Speaker
It does not matter age. Teenagers can become members. Elderly women can become members. It's just whoever wants to get involved in their community. That's all. And it's $50 a year to be a, to be a member. So a dollar a week, basically. Yep.
00:13:01
Speaker
Right. How many women are there in the area that you want to serve? Oh my gosh. I mean, I'd like to serve everybody. Right. I imagine we set up a not-for-profit to support other not-for-profits and you talk about venues. Yes.
00:13:13
Speaker
The last thing you really want to be doing is is spending money on those venues. Right. So what are you doing to promote the benefits of supporting the Giving Circle to venues, traders, all sorts of different organisations?
00:13:27
Speaker
are there Are there benefits for the the profit sector to support your efforts? hundred percent So you can come in as an in-kind member, basically, where we will pay for your $50 membership.
00:13:41
Speaker
If you do do a sponsorship, you will automatically become a member. Also, we will allow you to promote your product, your venue, your company, whatever it might be, whoever is sponsoring us, we will allow them to promote that with a table if they want to give away...
00:13:59
Speaker
goodie bags to all of the attendees at the event. If they want to do ah put together a couple of raffles prizes with their logo on it, we will work that out with them and figure out what benefits them the best.
00:14:12
Speaker
And they are more than welcome to use this as a promotional event as well. So it's the philanthropic model in many ways. If you have a dollar a week, or if you can provide something that is a quick equal or more than a dollar a week, like a venue for a function or resources to encourage people to attend events and make donations,
00:14:35
Speaker
then this is an opportunity for you to do something philanthropic, which also may have advantages from a tax perspective. So you can write off what you are donating against tax, all that sort of stuff.
00:14:47
Speaker
Yes, you can. Right. Okay. Can I be cynical for a moment? Of course. Okay. Okay. know, you talked about being a Southern debutante and all these sorts things. And one of the one of the dangers might be that, you know, people see this as Southern debutantes getting together, know, having their Long Island teas and all those sorts of things and and putting some money in to a pot and then going back to their luxury homes, et cetera, et cetera.
00:15:15
Speaker
right but What sort of opportunities are there for people who, beyond the money that they donate, beyond the social activities that they get involved in, what opportunities are there for people to actually really get involved in physically being present in the support of a not-for-profit organization, actually getting their hands dirty?
00:15:37
Speaker
Yeah, that is an awesome question. We are working on a joint shared calendar, with all of the volunteer opportunities with our past partners.
00:15:48
Speaker
So Bloom Atlanta has been around for three years. This is going on their fourth year. So they have three different nonprofits that they've partnered with. And we have been reaching out with them to them to get everything that they need for the year volunteer opportunities.
00:16:02
Speaker
So they one of the organization, nonprofit has 5K that they're putting on in September, that we are going to pull our resources together and get people in our area and and Atlanta to volunteer for.
00:16:15
Speaker
We also have spring volunteer opportunities. Basically, whatever the nonprofit needs, just because you partner with us for one year doesn't mean our partnership ends after that one year.
00:16:26
Speaker
Our partnership is... ah For a lifetime. We will partner together with this nonprofit. We will do whatever they need volunteer wise. We're right now we're in the middle of collecting newborn to five toddler five T clothing right now.
00:16:42
Speaker
We are we're constantly getting our members engaged to help. We also really have been focusing on. Getting our children involved.
00:16:53
Speaker
So most of us have kids and that's been one of the biggest complaints is my kids do not know how to volunteer. My kids do not know how to help other people. How can I get involved? And that's what we've been we've been talking to these nonprofits about.
00:17:06
Speaker
Where are some opportunities where we can bring our children to get engaged? So right now we have scheduled a time this summer where we are going to pack book bags with school supplies. So we have we have sent out the link where everyone can purchase school supplies. So if they are not able to volunteer, they can purchase school supplies.
00:17:23
Speaker
And then if you are able to volunteer, you're we are having people meet in person to pack the book bags for. families in need. They need school supplies for the starting August school year. right We also, I mentioned, the 5K, we're doing that.
00:17:37
Speaker
We also are going have a clothing sorting drive, meaning once we gather up all the clothing donations, we are going to get together and have a sorting party and sort the sizes and help them organize all of the the clothes so that they can take them to the prisons for the nonprofit.
00:17:53
Speaker
That sounds risky because if you're in, it'd be like in a shop and you'll be going like, oh, somewhat, I like that. Yeah, stuffing it in your pocket, right? No. Well, maybe sort of going like, well, how much would this be if it was in a shop?
00:18:07
Speaker
And then there's a check and and money changes hands, those sorts of things. I know. But, you know, 2025 is not one of the most, how should we say, you people are struggling, aren't they? yes i not Yes, they are. That's been one of the challenges. We can all want to do something to help other people, but sometimes we can find ourselves being the person who needs the help.
00:18:31
Speaker
No, I totally agree. And we are seeing that. there you know There is a struggle going on right now. And that's why it's not just monetary that we need. We need hands on deck. We need people volunteering their time.
00:18:44
Speaker
It's not always about money. It's about getting people together in the community to serve in the best way that you can serve. How can you serve If it is money and volunteering with your hands on deck, that's great.
00:18:55
Speaker
We need more people like that. But it's not always about that. It's about, hey, I can only give my time right now. Then that is fine. You can give your time. it is And, you know, we just want people to gather together and know that we are here to support each other. So when you are in need, let's say, let's say you go through a bad moment in your life or you go through a situation where you you need help, that you know that you can come to us and we can help you.
00:19:21
Speaker
That sounds great.
Volunteering: A Pathway for Job-Seekers
00:19:22
Speaker
And with my HR professionals hat on, I would just like to say that if you find yourself and without a job, you've been laid off, no fault of your own, you're looking for work.
00:19:33
Speaker
If you volunteer, it's like having a job. You have somebody's depending upon you to be in a specific place at a specific time to do a specific role.
00:19:44
Speaker
And they rely upon you for doing that. That's really great. That that gives you a big buzz. But the other thing is that when you sit in an interview and or even on your CV, resume, a application, whatever it is, if you can say that during the time when you were laid off, you did volunteering, that gives an interviewer something to talk about with you in the interview other than work And also demonstrates that you are not a self person. You are thinking, yep, you know, it's I'm in a bad way at the moment, being laid off, haven't got a job, but there's always someone else worse off than you.
00:20:26
Speaker
And it shows huge, huge, big ticks in an application when you see that and you're recruiting people. Yeah, no, I totally agree. ah Just having that servant heart and that servant attitude, I just think is important in this day and age. Just knowing that we are there for one another, especially in such a small community. We are a small community here in Alfreda area. And just knowing that you have somebody you can count on or an organization that you can go to, it just, it means a lot. But my my heart and what sold me on Bloom was when I saw
00:21:01
Speaker
the impact that all these women had on the nonprofit. yeah the we we We have eliminated a lot of hoops that nonprofits have to go through. They sometimes have to fill out pages and pages of applications to just for a $5,000 application.
00:21:17
Speaker
ah donation. And we have eliminated all those hoops. Our donation, when when the nonprofit that partners with us that year gets it, there are no hoops. They can use it to pay off debt for the nonprofit. They can use it for the women and children that they're supporting. They can use it for paying their bills, whatever it is, they can use that money for. And in a lot of places have stipulations on that.
00:21:40
Speaker
That's really hard for a nonprofit to know that you have all this other stuff debt that you need to get rid of and you can't use any of the money for yes So that's been something that our nonprofits have absolutely loved and have begged us, don't ever change that about Bloom.
00:21:53
Speaker
Good for you. yeah but I think that there are lots of people, most people, everyone probably, who wants to do something to help their fellow human beings. And it can be very difficult to sort, well, what do i I want to help, but how can I help?
00:22:08
Speaker
I think what you're doing is providing a framework that allows at least the female members of our communities to actually do something and get involved.
Lessons from Bloom North's Journey
00:22:17
Speaker
So maybe there'll be some men listening to this as well who'll be thinking along the same sort of lines. so But I think it's really great what it is that you're doing.
00:22:25
Speaker
But I have to ask, you know you've been setting this up for the past year. um What are the things that if you were going to do it again, you would avoid doing? What lessons have you learned? I've actually learned a lot of lessons. This has been way harder than I ever thought. I thought launching a ah branch when it's already been created would be so easy, but you have to understand that when you launch a branch,
00:22:46
Speaker
a new branch you're in a new area you're working with new people and new types of people and what i discovered was that not all areas are the same tried to pick the right people for council people just weren't in the right time of their life to be able to handle the meetings and and what we were requiring so that was a challenge so during fight picking our council i discovered hey i think we need bylaws And I think we need bylaws because I think we need to let our council potential counsel know this these are your requirements.
00:23:18
Speaker
This is what your is expected of you. Can you sustain this in your busy time of life with your children and full full-time job and all that kind of stuff? So we've just discovered things along the way about what each community needs. And we also have put together a different survey where we can ask current members, hey, are you interested in becoming a council member? what is what Why are you interested in this?
00:23:41
Speaker
Basically, get the heart of the matter first and go from there to be able to pick the people whose heart is truly in. what Bloom is all about and what we are doing. So we've just, we've had to backtrack a little bit, but we've been able to put it together.
00:23:57
Speaker
Everything's been running pretty smoothly, so I cannot complain about that, but it is a lot of learning and it's a lot of questions that you have to constantly be asking yourself, you know, what if, what what if we do this? Should we do this? Should we change this?
00:24:09
Speaker
And A lot of times they the times answer is no, let's just keep it the way it is for right now. And, you know, if we keep growing and getting so much bigger, then maybe we look at something else.
00:24:20
Speaker
But for right now, everything seems to be flowing and working pretty well. Brilliant. Yes. So lots of work, lots of learning, and I hope lots of fun as well. Yeah, it has been, it's been a lot of fun. Once you get to the stress of planning, setting up, doing the event, the excitement of seeing new members and the excitement of seeing people, how excited they are at each event, how much they're learning about Bloom and how much they learn about the nonprofits, it's Because we take videos of the nonprofits that we vote on that year. So people get to really get to dive deep into these nonprofits and find out what they're really about.
00:24:53
Speaker
And people's hearts just melt. And they didn't know what they didn't know, right? They didn't know about this nonprofit. They didn't know that this was out there. And it's just been such an experience watching these women come together and work together to really want to help another organization.
Connecting with Bloom North and Bloom Atlanta
00:25:09
Speaker
Okay. So if there are people who are interested in getting getting involved, what is the website that they need to go to?
00:25:16
Speaker
Yeah. So for Bloom North, the website is allbloom.org. And that's where you can find both of our branches. You can find Bloom Atlanta branch and the Bloom North branch.
00:25:27
Speaker
And they are both on the website and all the information is there to to join or to just learn more. Lauren, thank you very much. It's been great.
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:25:35
Speaker
First talking to a secret service agent and then the founder of Bloom North. It's brilliant.
00:25:41
Speaker
I do appreciate your time today. Thank you very much. Thank you for having me. This has been an amazing chat. I've really enjoyed it. Good, so have I am Michael Millward, the Managing Director of Abbasida.
00:25:52
Speaker
In this episode of Rest and Recreation, I have been having a conversation with Lauren Fernandez, author of Talk Back Barbie, the Secret Service Edition. You can find out more about both of us at abbasida.co.uk. There is a link in the description, along with a link to Bloom as well.
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Speaker
You can access your easy to understand results and guidance to help you make effective lifestyle changes anytime via your secure personal wellness hub account. There is a link and a discount code in the description.
00:27:07
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I'm sure you will have enjoyed listening to this episode of Rest and Recreation as much as Lauren as I have enjoyed making it. So please give it a like and download it so that you can listen anytime, anywhere.
00:27:19
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To make sure you don't miss out on future episodes, please subscribe. Remember, the aim of all the podcasts produced by Abusida is not to tell you what to think, but we do hope to have made you think.
00:27:32
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Until the next episode of Rest and Recreation, thank you for listening and goodbye.