Transcript
Speaker: Hi and welcome to another episode of the Glam Reaper podcast.
Speaker: I'm your host Jennifer Muldeny aka the Glam Reaper herself.
Speaker: On today's episode we are meeting with another fellow female like-minded girl lady that's working in the funeral industry right here in New York City.
Speaker: She's based in Brooklyn and I'm going to let her tell her side of the story.
Speaker: Let's take it away.
Speaker: Hi everybody and welcome to another episode of the Glam Reaper podcast.
Speaker: I'm your host Jennifer Muldenny aka the Glam Reaper herself and today's guest is a New York native.
Speaker: Well as in she's here in New York she's wreaking havoc on the funeral scene in a funeral home called Sparrow and I'm super excited to talk to my new guest Erica.
Speaker: So Erica welcome to the Glam Reaper podcast.
Speaker: How are you?
Speaker: Thank you for having me.
Speaker: I'm doing well.
Speaker: Good.
Speaker: So I want to hear all about Sparrow.
Speaker: We are going to take a little trip to it either this week or next to investigate and get some nice pictures and footage.
Speaker: But tell me what's so different about your funeral home in comparison to any other funeral home?
Speaker: I think the first thing is the space and what the space looks like.
Speaker: From the outside, it doesn't look like a funeral home.
Speaker: I made a conscious effort to update it in a way that feels warm and cozy and inviting.
Speaker: So there's no carpeting.
Speaker: It's hardwood floors.
Speaker: We have a lot of light in, we have two celebration rooms and one of the rooms we put in windows that had actually been there before.
Speaker: We just put them back in.
Speaker: And then the other room we put in skylight so that there's natural light coming in.
Speaker: And then the way that we deal with our clients is very, if you are a family working with us, you can
Speaker: The funeral director for Sparrow is one of the most empathetic humans I've ever met in my whole life.
Speaker: So we really are full service and you feel seen and heard and...
Speaker: You know, at Sparrow, we believe our doors are open for everybody.
Speaker: And it's not one size fits all.
Speaker: It's what's comfortable for you and your family and your traditions and your rituals, whatever that means, whether from the traditional to the unique.
Speaker: And then we also have a street facing retail shop, which is filled with all sorts of things from urns, vessels to blankets.
Speaker: So it's really a shop that sells things that are comforting.
Speaker: For those grieving and then just for the rest of people who are not grieving, but want some comforting for themselves.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And what initiated this for you?
Speaker: So through the years, I've had a lot of my peers die starting when I was in high school.
Speaker: So my first experience with death was not a grandparent, which I think is usually the case for most people, but it was my friends.
Speaker: And it wasn't until I was a little bit older out of high school that I'm still having, unfortunately, friends die and going to these funerals that were in, that just didn't feel like they truly celebrated the person who had died.
Speaker: And I've been through the years I've been apologized to by several families that they knew that this wasn't what so-and-so would have wanted, but they didn't know what else to do by three families, actually.
Speaker: And I just always felt like, why?
Speaker: Like, why does it have to be like that?
Speaker: Why can't it be different?
Speaker: Can I ask, because it's a similar trajectory for myself, can I ask for you, what was so wrong or didn't represent the person for you?
Speaker: Everything felt very rote, right?
Speaker: So very steeped in traditions that aren't mine, certainly.
Speaker: But like, it wasn't even that they were religious, because I have no issue with that.
Speaker: It's that there was no place, it felt like there was no place to even insert
Speaker: part of who this person really was, right?
Speaker: So you would go into a funeral home that had bad carpeting and it smelled weird and kind of strange people working there.
Speaker: And we're already... The Igors of the world.
Speaker: I did an interest post on Instagram where I took Igor from the Addams family and put a picture of him and then a picture of me from a photo shoot I'd done, which I was in like a red dress, you know, a little bit of cleavage showing, leg showing, and I was roaring, laughing.
Speaker: And it was like,
Speaker: you know, old funeral versus new.
Speaker: And it was like, what's wrong with the right, which was me.
Speaker: What was wrong with that right picture?
Speaker: Like, wouldn't you prefer to meet that when, you know?
Speaker: And the interesting thing is, is that with Sparrow, you know, we've been open now for, I guess, almost four months and we've done everything.
Speaker: We've done a lot of traditional viewings and funerals and every single family has,
Speaker: has said to us how happy they are to be in our space, that they're in the middle of grieving.
Speaker: And as you know, like grieving takes all sorts of forms.
Speaker: Like you can be crying one minute and laughing hysterically the next, but they're doing all of it in a space that's beautiful and makes them feel good.
Speaker: So like it doesn't, it's not this other layer of
Speaker: Sadness isn't the right word, but sort of depressing, like a depressing environment on top of a situation that's already incredibly difficult for families.
Speaker: But so for me, you know, I have a friend who died a few years ago and she'd been sick for a long time.
Speaker: And I use her funeral as a positive example.
Speaker: She participated in planning it and it was religious.
Speaker: It was in a church with a priest who she happened to know.
Speaker: But I sat in that funeral and I felt like she was with us because every single poem that was read, passage from the Bible that was read, every hymn felt like her.
Speaker: And so to me that was, and then it was over.
Speaker: We had like a New Orleans brass band led us to Speedy Romeo Pizza in Brooklyn.
Speaker: And that's where we all gathered afterwards.
Speaker: But it really, even though, you know, it was in a traditional setting, she was able to, you know, direct it in a way that you really felt like she was present.
Speaker: So like, that's kind of what I'm talking about.
Speaker: Like, it doesn't have to be something that's so untraditional or so unique, but it's like, you know, being thoughtful about what people are reading.
Speaker: So you feel like that it's representing them.
Speaker: And then
Speaker: You know, her husband is in the music industry and she loved music.
Speaker: So there was someone there singing songs that weren't traditional church songs on top of the other stuff that was happening.
Speaker: But again, it's just like sort of infusing a personality into what's going on.
Speaker: So you're a big fan of pre-planning like myself.
Speaker: Yes, I think it's incredibly important.
Speaker: And again, from my experience, and I've now seen it at Sparrow, because unfortunately we've had a few cases where people have died sooner than we would like.
Speaker: And what in my personal life and then now my professional life, what I see is when somebody is young and at an age where you don't expect them to go, and especially if it's suddenly gone,
Speaker: the family has no idea what to do, like none.
Speaker: And you watch the pressure that they feel to get it right, to do the right thing, you know, arguing over cremation versus burial versus whatever.
Speaker: And I just feel like, you know, part of what we're working on at Sparrow is some planning tools that are much more superficial that just sort of leave a roadmap of like, God forbid something happened to me before I'm 90.
Speaker: you know, I would like to be cremated or I'd like, you know, these 20 people to definitely be there or I don't want anything or, you know, whatever it is, because I feel like even, again, in my personal experience with the families who apologized to me saying they knew that that wasn't what their loved one would have wanted, they didn't do anything wrong, right?
Speaker: And just imagine that on top of the grief, the feeling in the moment, the guilt or the pressure or whatever they feel,
Speaker: that are they getting it right?
Speaker: And like, so I think if we can get younger people to start thinking about stuff like that and talking about it and planning a little bit, we started, we've only had one, but we're going to plan another one for April.
Speaker: We call them the D parties and it's like death, dying and dessert.
Speaker: And we had a group of, a small group of people who were like 21 to 30 ish, 32.
Speaker: come and do almost mood boards for what they wanted and a little slide show.
Speaker: And they were all apprehensive to come because they don't want to think, you know, they're in the prime of it, right?
Speaker: They don't want to think about death and dying.
Speaker: And it was fantastic.
Speaker: They were so engaged.
Speaker: They were so excited.
Speaker: You know, one woman who's about 26 left and she's like, now I know what I want, a cardboard box and tons of flowers.
Speaker: And like, you know, her sister was there too.
Speaker: So like, it just opened up that conversation.
Speaker: Another woman was like, I'm going to be a diamond.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: Like, she was so excited to be, see, she could be a diamond.
Speaker: Another guy was like, wow, like I really, I didn't understand why we were coming here.
Speaker: His girlfriend dragged him and he goes, this has been amazing.
Speaker: Now I know I need to change stuff.
Speaker: some of the conversations I'm having with my father.
Speaker: Like it just, once you get people in a setting and they see it's not so scary, it almost becomes fun because it's, I don't want to equate the two, but it's almost like planning a wedding in a way.
Speaker: It absolutely is.
Speaker: And it's actually one of the concepts I've tried to sort of spin in terms of pre-planning and pre-need and
Speaker: you know, all these terms that are thrown around the funeral industry.
Speaker: It's like, to me, you know, I know as a nearly 40 year old woman, I would much rather plan a party than I would plan my funeral.
Speaker: Like it just sounds terrible.
Speaker: So that's the way I'm like, well, if you just spin it like that, like, so the appendices of my first book, it's like, yeah, fill out all this information.
Speaker: You don't have to hand any money to anybody.
Speaker: You just have to fill out all this information, all your digital stuff, you know,
Speaker: put it in a secure place if you've got a safe or something like that or leave it with you know your solicitor or your lawyer or whatever that might be over here and just make sure that it's it's somewhere safe or leave it with an extra kin but have that information and just make even if you just make a simple decision as burial cremation or as I like to say because there's so many you know options out there now is burial cremation or in my case I have ticked the third box which is the most environmentally friendly option available at the time
Speaker: because that's just evolving right that's the way of putting it yes yes yes for sure because that could be anything and it depends on what state you live in right exactly exactly so you know but it's you'll have to what's the date of the next d party i will tell you soon it's going to be in april we have not set the date
Speaker: Okay, perfect.
Speaker: Well, when you have the date set, let me know.
Speaker: I will attend if I'm in the country or in the state, which with me, I don't ever know.
Speaker: And equally, we will put the dates out for all of our fans and followers to maybe join you in Brooklyn.
Speaker: In Brooklyn, yeah.
Speaker: Very good.
Speaker: So what is the plans for the future, Erica?
Speaker: Is it to have a Sparrow number two?
Speaker: Is it to expand the current location, multiple locations, different states maybe?
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: So the plan for sparrow is 15 sparrows in five years, but across the country.
Speaker: So we're looking, we're starting to look in Florida now.
Speaker: The third one is might be closer to home and then definitely then Los Angeles.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You know, but most like kind of major to mid-sized cities is sort of what we're looking at.
Speaker: And is it copying the exact Sparrow or will you change it slightly for each city?
Speaker: I mean, I think that we're not a chain, right?
Speaker: So I think that it will evolve depending on where we are.
Speaker: But I think that the root and the core of what Sparrow is will remain and sort of the look and the brand.
Speaker: I mean, I hate to say branding.
Speaker: So just the overall feel of it will be the same.
Speaker: But, you know, just like our color scheme might be a little different in Florida than it would be in New York City, than it would be in L.A.
Speaker: But I think.
Speaker: kind of at the heart of what Sparrow represents and how we're structured as a company will be the same wherever we are.
Speaker: And lastly, you've only been open four months, so you're only babies still, but do you have a favourite or some service that sticks out the most to you, even within those four months that you can share with the listeners?
Speaker: That's a good question.
Speaker: one or could be one that something went a bit crazy with and you were like oh what do we do just we haven't had any anything's gone crazy no dramas no dramas thank god I mean there's plenty of drama within the moment but no like big drama yeah I think that I'm gonna say favorites probably not quite the right word but gratitude that we were able to work with this family I'll use that term
Speaker: It's a family who lost a son to suicide that we had at the beginning of the year.
Speaker: And there were two boys.
Speaker: So the brother who is still alive, it turns out that he is an old friend of a good friend of mine.
Speaker: They were roommates and he and I have a lot of people in common.
Speaker: And I don't, I didn't know anybody, you know, I didn't know the brother that whatever, but I feel like being able to help a family that is very closely associated with my circle felt really, really positive and good.
Speaker: And so I'll say that, but I've so far, I've loved every family that we've worked with, to be honest.
Speaker: It's been an amazing, you know, I don't work directly with the families.
Speaker: I have to be really clear about that because I'm not a licensed funeral director.
Speaker: Lily and Tiffany, who are funeral directors, do.
Speaker: But I still get to meet them and, you know, obviously interact with them a little bit.
Speaker: But we've just had really lovely families and they run the gamut, which has been exciting also.
Speaker: Like we're not servicing just one sort of family.
Speaker: It's really exciting.
Speaker: everything.
Speaker: We're diverse in every sense of that word.
Speaker: So that feels good.
Speaker: We've had, you know, we're also really trying to work with families who maybe can't afford our service or what our services normally would be.
Speaker: And that feels really good to be able to support families in a time of need like that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I just, so far I'm, I'm thrilled.
Speaker: Like I'm really, it's everything and more, way more than I had imagined, but all positive, like really positive.
Speaker: Well, that's amazing.
Speaker: And it's an amazing note to end on.
Speaker: I think everybody should check out your website and everybody should check out the space if they can.
Speaker: I love this.
Speaker: I am here for it.
Speaker: Women-driven businesses in general, but, you know, just innovation in this space.
Speaker: is just desperately needed.
Speaker: It's such an antiquated industry.
Speaker: It's, you know, it's bonkers.
Speaker: And there are just so many exciting things happening.
Speaker: So I'm really excited for you.
Speaker: And we'll check in and maybe towards the end of the year and have you back on again, Erica, and see how you're getting on and how world domination is working out for you, or at least US domination for the next five years.
Speaker: I would love that.
Speaker: I would love that.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Perfect.
Speaker: Well, thank you so much for coming on the Glam Reaper.
Speaker: And we will talk to you again soon.
Speaker: Thank you for having me.
Speaker: So that was this week's episode.
Speaker: That is Sparrow, the funeral home.
Speaker: And we are off to Vegas shortly.
Speaker: So hopefully film some content there for you.
Speaker: We're at a funeral convention, as is the norm.
Speaker: I know people find that a little odd.
Speaker: But yeah, hopefully we will get you to tune in to another episode of the Glamour Podcast.
Speaker: We'll talk to you soon.
Speaker: Bye bye.
