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7. Body Wisdom: Birth Control Through a Mother-Daughter Lens
17 Plays1 year ago
In this heartfelt and informative episode of "Spiraling Together: A Mother-Daughter Healing Journey," we delve into the intimate and often complex topic of birth control.
Join us as we share our personal stories and experiences with birth control, exploring the emotional and physical aspects of our journeys. We also discuss the alarming news of harmful chemicals found in period products, shedding light on the importance of being informed and making conscious choices for our bodies.
Tune in for an eye-opening conversation filled with wisdom, love, and empowerment.
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Disclaimer: The content of this podcast is based on our personal lived experiences and is for informational and inspirational purposes only. We are not medical professionals, and the advice and insights shared should not be taken as medical or psychological advice. Please consult with a qualified healthcare provider for any medical or psychological concerns you may have.
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Transcript
Introduction and Mission Statement
00:00:05
Speaker
Aloha, friends. Welcome to Spiraling Together, a mother-daughter healing journey. I'm the daughter Chloe, and I'm the mother Valerie. Our mission is to create a safe, nurturing space where mothers and daughters can begin a journey of healing and empowerment together. Through heartfelt conversations, shared experiences, and our personal insights, we aim to foster deeper connections, strengthen bonds, and inspire growth.
Community Engagement
00:00:34
Speaker
Before we dive into today's conversation, we want to take a moment to express our heartfelt thanks to all of you who are tuning in. Your willingness to expand and grow with us inspires us each day, and we are honored to have you as part of our community.
Episode Topic Introduction: Body Wisdom
00:00:51
Speaker
If you haven't already, please check out our links below and follow us on your favorite platforms so you never miss an episode. Let's get ready to unravel the spiral. Together.
00:01:04
Speaker
All right, everybody, welcome back to Spiraling Together. This is episode seven, whoo, I believe. I think I'm saying that correctly. um We kind of are switching gears from what we said we were going to do last week. I know last week we ended the episode saying that we were going to record another episode about vulnerability. um But we felt something was a little bit more pressing this week to talk about.
Vulnerability in Mother-Daughter Relationships
00:01:32
Speaker
um And so the title of this week's episode is actually Body Wisdom, Birth Control Through a Mother-Daughter Lens. Yes. So speaking about vulnerability real quick,
00:01:45
Speaker
What we're going to be sharing during this episode is vulnerability, because we're going to share our personal stories about what we have experienced with birth control, the conversations that we've had. And vulnerability really shows that we are all human and we share similar experiences even though sometimes you don't know what other people are going through. It's having conversations like this that show you're not alone. Right. And that's a lot of what we want to show everybody and talk about is mostly about ourselves because of course we do have disclaimers in our captions like
00:02:31
Speaker
We're not saying that everything we believe is 100% correct and you have to believe it, but these are things that have happened to us and have changed who we are. And we just want to express that we know this happens to other people and sometimes this is stuff that nobody talks about. Right.
Open Communication and Trust
00:02:50
Speaker
And also creating the vulnerability within your relationship with your mother and daughter. I feel that you've come to me so many times and shared things that I felt honored that you shared with me, you know, as my daughter and you've come and you've told me things that I was like,
00:03:13
Speaker
A lot of people wouldn't be comfortable talking to their moms and being vulnerable and and sharing. So maybe us talking today can help inspire you to trust in your mother or daughter or someone else and share something vulnerable. Of course, especially if
00:03:37
Speaker
You know, you think that your parents are people you can't tell things. I do know a lot of my friends are like, I can never talk to my mom or my dad about that. Anybody that's, you know, a generation above or whatever. um But if you wanted to, you could just know that Some people can and maybe take some motivation from that or even if you don't want to jump out and tell your parents some crazy stuff, you can just talk to them about the fact that you want to have a closer relationship with them and you want them to be a friend and not just mom or dad.
00:04:18
Speaker
And if you're a mom and you want to let your daughter know that it's okay for her to share things with you because you've experienced them too, that's something that I feel like I did. As you were growing up, I would tell you real life things that happened to me and because I knew that you were going to be faced with them too. I can't be blind and act like you're not going to have things come up in high school or anything else. So I was like, you are always okay to come to me and tell me what's going on. I'm not going to shame you or make you think that anything that you talk to me about is is a taboo subject, because it's not. Because if you can't come to me, who are you going to go to? Exactly.
00:05:09
Speaker
I do think that sorry oh no that's cut you off i do think that's a major thing that kids don't feel safe telling their parents this stuff that happens to them while they're growing up because they just think they're going to get in trouble. But in reality, more than half the time, your parents have probably done the exact same thing or maybe worse. Exactly. So I would, yeah, when I know that when you told me things, even before I would experience them, but you knew it was going to happen, it just made me feel safer knowing that
00:05:51
Speaker
you know you were like, this was my experience, you have a choice to make, and that's up to you, but this is you know my opinion, and that helped a lot. I'm glad. it's It gives you the ability to know what you're going into and the consequences you could face, potentially. Right. Yeah. So hearing it from your parents is way different than going off and doing whatever with whoever and not knowing what's going to happen. Yeah.
Concerns About Birth Control
00:06:29
Speaker
So maybe we could just jump on into this topic then today yeah about the birth control. Do you want to start us off? Well,
00:06:45
Speaker
We could start off by saying, um, I guess the, one of the main reasons we think this is a more pressing subject to talk about right now is because of all the studies that came out about tampons that have lead and other metals in them. Yeah. Yeah. And since that's circulate circulating right now so much, it's very, difficult when you can see that a product that is so widely used can be so harmful. And when you're on a journey of healing and awakening, you're going to start seeing more and more that the things that we thought were normal and the things that we thought were safe are actually not.
00:07:44
Speaker
Harmful. They are harmful. Yeah. And birth control. Okay. That is okay. So we're just going to come out and talk about this. I'm a mother who supports my daughter's decisions, whatever they are. I do not want to instill any of my fears in her. And when she came to me and said that she, you were originally on birth control. You started on birth control. You can talk yeah about that. Cause that's your experience. this up broke Yeah.
00:08:19
Speaker
So for me personally, I was a late bloomer compared to all my friends. Like I have an autoimmune disorder. I also did gymnastics. Those are factors that can go into that. But regardless of. that matter, doesn't really matter anyways. But all of my friends that already had their periods before me had already jumped onto birth control, whether that meant they were sexually active or not. um And so once I got mine, I was you know i started getting cramps and my periods were really irregular. I do remember that. Those were two things that I was like,
00:09:01
Speaker
oh This sucks like I don't want this anymore because I don't even know what's gonna happen Whatever um And all my friends are like, yeah, I'm on birth control. You should just do it, you know It's gonna make your periods regular it usually helps with cramps and I was like, okay cool So I told you and I got on birth control Yeah. And at that time I didn't know what I know now about birth control because I had also used birth control when I was young younger as well because I had irregular periods and acne and it was just the thing you did to make sure that you didn't get pregnant. And now fast forward until
00:09:46
Speaker
How long ago was it that you came to me and to get off? Yes. Yes. Um, hmm. Maybe a year and a half or two years now. I think. Yeah, it was about that time. Well, and the reasoning was because I found out that I had cysts on my ovaries, which I had always had like bad period cramps my whole life, but eventually
00:10:18
Speaker
these cramps were excruciating. Like I genuinely couldn't take it anymore. I like to say my pain tolerance is high. Like I have tattoos and stuff. And I'm like, that's not the end of the world. But sometimes period cramps are that bad, like worse than that. But it came to a point where I was like, this isn't even normal anymore. So I remember going to the doctor because my cramps were so bad. They did a bunch of tests on me, couldn't figure anything out. And then they had to do an ultrasound on me. They still didn't find anything. So then they had to.
00:10:56
Speaker
take that camera thing it was and look. Really awkward experience, but then they found cysts on my ovaries. And um I also remember I was so mad at that male doctor. I was what, 20? And he was talking to me like an eight year old with this analogy of like chocolate chips on my ovaries for some reason I was really confused but um I knew what he was saying but I was like why are you talking to me like I'm 12 um but yeah and then I just decided to get off of birth control because I was like obviously that this isn't right this probably wouldn't be happening and I had also realized like
00:11:48
Speaker
I didn't have my period for that long before I just jumped into birth control. And I think that's how it is for a lot of girls. When you first get your period and things aren't great, you're like, oh, let me just get birth control because it's supposed to fix everything. Right. And as a mother, knowing that you're sexually active, a lot of mothers are like, oh my gosh, there's just that fear of you could get pregnant, so just get on birth control so that we don't have to deal with that. But when you really start looking at the effects of birth control, I also had cysts on my ovary and I had complications. The birth control pills stop a woman from her normal hormone cycle
00:12:39
Speaker
And so a lot of times you get stuck in instead of having the normal natural cycle of feeling like you have yeah a spring, a summer, a winter, a fall, every month having the normal energetic highs and then the lows, you just stay at this one level. And so you always kind of feel bad. I mean you don't have those really great spikes of energy that you need from the hormones and a lot of women and girls will be on birth control and they'll start just they'll feel that way and so they'll think something's wrong with them and then unfortunately they get on antidepressants
00:13:24
Speaker
And so it's like not only are you now taking birth control that's affecting you hormonally and doing so much damage, it it really does damage to your body. Then you're on antidepressants. So then you're stuck. And this is an epidemic that you can do more research on yourself. Yeah. yeah And I also wanted to say on top of like flat lining your hormone because it makes it the same, um sometimes birth control takes away your period altogether and you don't even bleed, which is like, what? That doesn't even make sense. That's so not natural. And another thing like that you were saying about how it kind of like,
00:14:16
Speaker
It makes you sad and upset and you're just constantly not yourself. I've heard so many girls say like when they're on birth control or they change what birth control they're taking, it turns them into a completely different person and they don't even know who they are anymore. Yeah, so. I mean, one of my friends, she stopped birth control, too, because I know for her emotionally, it that was what was like taking the biggest toll on her.
Understanding Natural Cycles
00:14:49
Speaker
and yeah And she's feeling better now that she's off birth control. And I know that it can seem scary, but let's talk a little bit about what you do if you are sexually active so that you can make sure that you do not get pregnant. So what do you do, sweetheart? Well, I think The easiest thing to do really is do research because believe it or not, you can't always get pregnant. There's certain times on your cycle where it's literally not even possible. And I didn't even know that until like a couple of years ago because we grow up with this idea that, you know,
00:15:39
Speaker
if you're gonna get pregnant, it like everyone thinks you're gonna get pregnant if you start having sex. But in reality, the sex ed classes we have, they don't teach us anything except be on birth control or wear a condom, don't get an STD. right It doesn't go into depth about anything. And if you're not doing the research yourself, you really don't know. You don't know what to do. You don't know how your body is working. And as a woman, you really are cut off from something that truly is sacred. Your cycle is sacred, but we've really been cut off from that. And especially with birth control pills and with other types of contraceptives that have taken us away from what we're really meant to do as women.
00:16:36
Speaker
So doing some research and and learning how your body truly works and the different hormones that you have in your body and the different phases that there are. Yeah, I do wanna say, I think the easiest way to track your period is with an app because we're on our phones all the time, right? Everybody picks up their phone at least once a day. and um Will you include that app that you just downloaded maybe? Yeah, I was gonna bring that up. Oh, I really like it. There is an app called Stardust, which is, I used to use a different app that was like,
00:17:15
Speaker
you you would have to pay to do extra whatever but this one you can get a ah free year trial if you just have seven friends And I just looked it up on Reddit and I made seven friends and so I have a year-long trial. um But it's way better than any app I've used. It tells you what phase in your cycle you're in. You can even add your partner in it and you can ask your partner to get you things if you want.
00:17:47
Speaker
um and it also tells your partner what you're going through and then you can, I don't know, it's just so much better than anything. Which I think so important also that your partner does know where you are in your cycle because we're not all that, every month we're the same and I remember right before I would get my moon cycle or my period I would just have you know get angry and all of a sudden I would not I would just be like there's nothing that he can do right and I would be mean and angry and yell at him or whatever and then I would just be like what is wrong with me and then he would be like
00:18:37
Speaker
Oh my God. But if everybody is aware of where you are on your cycle, it does make life easier. And there are, so there's this book, it's called the ah Blood Book. And I can also link this book. But there's a section that is, literally directed towards the men in your life and kind of tells them what a woman is experiencing during these different seasons or cycles in the month. And it's very helpful to know. It's helpful to be in tune with what you're truly experiencing and what the people around you are experiencing. Not an excuse for you to be mean, but just to know that
00:19:23
Speaker
No, we really are emotional beings as women. And there is a reason for that. And um just to be able to be aware of that more helps. So you can give yourself some grace for feeling a little off or a little more emotional than sometimes you would like to. More tired, more yeah all whatever it is. like That's normal. um But yeah, as far as just this journey, I really love supporting you on this. I would much rather you be healthy and safe, not taking a pill that can have damage now and then later in life as well. Aloha listeners. We hope you're enjoying this episode of Spireling together. We're just taking a quick break to remind you about a few things.
00:20:18
Speaker
If you're loving what you hear, we ask you to please follow, like, and subscribe to our podcast. Your support helps us reach more people who might benefit from our conversations. And we're on all the major social media platforms. You can find us on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, and TikTok. Just search for spiraling together and you'll see all our latest updates and behind the scenes content. We absolutely love hearing from you. Your comments, likes, and shares mean the world to us.
Doctors and Hormonal Birth Control
00:20:50
Speaker
They not only motivate us to keep us going, but also helps us create better content for you. So if you have any feedback, questions, or topics you'd like us to cover, please leave us a comment or send us a message. We read every single one and appreciate your thoughts.
00:21:07
Speaker
Thank you so much for supporting spiraling together. Your engagement and feedback are what keep us inspired and passionate about bringing you more vulnerable conversations. Now let's get back to the show. I also wanted to mention I, the form of birth control I was on, um, was the pill, but I also wanted to bring up how many other forms of hormonal birth control there are. And I haven't had a lot experience with any of the other ones, but I have had
00:21:43
Speaker
A lot of friends tell me their experiences with other things like the IUD d or the arm implant or you know the shots that you can get every few months. there I mean, there's a lot a lot of hormonal birth controls that I feel like when you go to the doctor, that's what they want you to do. i think I mean, I literally saw a video on Instagram like yesterday about this and I was like, wow, this is so true. When you go to the gynecologist, a lot of the questions they ask you is, oh, are you sexually active? Yes. Okay. And then they're like, Oh, are you on birth control? No. Do you want to be? I can write you a prescription for one. And then it's like,
00:22:39
Speaker
Why? it it's um It's almost like they try to push it on you or like a lot of the things you say like, oh yeah, I have really bad cramps or didn they don't try to figure anything out. They just try to prescribe you birth control. And this is very common almost in any type of conversation that you have with a doctor in the experiences that I've had as well. So you have got to be your own advocate and obviously ah doctors are very necessary.
00:23:18
Speaker
but they are not always your best advocate unless you really do have a good relationship with a doctor. And you know, it's, I really love Dr. Kelly Brogan, MD. She talks about it being like the mother is like the big pharma is like the mother and she's telling you what to do. And we like have to listen, right? And
00:23:50
Speaker
Again, we just really do have to be our own advocates. What do you really want to put in your body and what do you want to do with your body? And there are other alternatives.
00:24:07
Speaker
besides taking pharmaceuticals. Yeah. I mean, for me, if you're someone like me that used to be on birth control and is still trying to not get pregnant, what I am going to focus on doing is, of course, using my app to track everything. And then there is also like taking your basal body temperature to actually make sure if you are fertile or not fertile. Um, I got to get one of the thermometers for it. Um, but yeah, I'm moving soon. And another thing I want to do is get like a naturopathic doc doctor instead of a normal Western medicine. yeah
00:24:57
Speaker
It's just like I, I used to put harmful chemicals into my body and I was addicted to harmful chemicals before and I don't want to
Safer Menstrual Products
00:25:09
Speaker
anymore. And I think that's another thing. Like with the tampons, I'm a huge tampon user. I've used tampons also from the very beginning. Like I wasn't scared to use tampons. Like a lot of girls I know I just went in full force. So I've been using tampons. since probably my first period and that's apparently probably a lot of damage and so now it's finding other things to use like the diva cup yep which is funny because that does not get pushed on to you the way that tampons do yeah
00:25:52
Speaker
So I'm gonna share a little bit about my story just because I also, so when, after I had you and your brother, your dad had a vasectomy. So I didn't really have to worry about taking birth control anymore. But somewhere in my thirties, I did start having very irregular periods and I was having, I was just bleeding a lot. It it was very abnormal. And when I went to the doctor,
00:26:30
Speaker
This is kind of talking about what you were saying, like finding a holistic doctor. If your cycles are irregular, something is going on with you. Something either in your diet or in your environment, or there's something else going on. And for the for a doctor just to say, oh, take this and you'll be fine, they're not actually looking at the underlying causes, the root causes of what's going on with you. And so at that time I just I was so tired of bleeding the doctor's idea was for me to have an ablation. And that just stopped my period altogether but I never found out the root cause of what it was. And then the way that it affected me later is that
00:27:21
Speaker
I ended up getting remarried and there was a time where we actually talked about possibly having children again and I wasn't able to and that's okay. I know that everything happens the way it happens so but there was a time where I was like wow if I could have known that I could have potentially done a little more research or gone to a different holistic doctor and found out what was going on and just not, you know, do that ablation. And then now it's hard for me because I don't bleed anymore.
Holistic Health Approaches
00:27:57
Speaker
So sometimes I get confused on where I am in my own cycle and trying to understand or track. So, yeah, I believe it's just when we have things going on
00:28:12
Speaker
in our you know reproduction area. here um
00:28:21
Speaker
Really going to somebody that can help us and not just push a pill or a surgery on us immediately.
00:28:31
Speaker
Yeah, i well, I think the main thing is that we're human and we do want those fast solutions. And that's what doctors do. They're like, oh, you have this? Oh, just get rid of it. Like, you know, it's it's not like a, oh, let's figure out why it's like this. Yeah, it's just like a band-aid they put on. And I, Obviously, like what I think about with Western medicine is that if you are in an emergency situation, you were in a car crash, you had something happen and you need a doctor right then and there to help you, or some type of emergency situation, but if you have something going on with your body,
00:29:22
Speaker
it's It's just really important to find ways to get, again, to the root problem of what it is. And that usually has to do with your diet, with your stress levels. The majority of people that go to doctors are actually because of stress. And we can mitigate stress in our body with other techniques that aren't just pills. Yeah, definitely.
00:29:53
Speaker
So with with us talking about birth control and us talking about female reproduction, it's just super important to decide you know what what you want to do for yourself and that there are alternatives if you're having any types of issues. And if you are sexually active, there are ways for you to be safe Yeah.
Parental Control and Open Dialogue
00:30:25
Speaker
And I think I know we were talking about earlier, like bringing things up to parents and everything. I think a good thing to talk about is there are some parents out there that force these things on you. Yeah. And, um,
00:30:51
Speaker
And a lot of the time people are too scared to speak up for themselves or do stuff for themselves because of their parents and different belief systems about these various things. What would you tell those people? Oh, I think it's very important if your child comes to you with a topic like this, to get curious and listen and see that when you immediately want to stop them and force them or control them, that that is a fear that you have within yourself and to start looking at that fear.
00:31:44
Speaker
And so it is just getting curious and saying maybe like, oh, but can you tell me more?
00:31:55
Speaker
That's what I would say. Get curious. Your child has so much access to knowledge now that I know that I didn't have. So they might actually teach you something
00:32:16
Speaker
And I'm really grateful for that. I'm grateful that you've taught me so much. And we can learn from our children and we can understand that they're just advocating for themselves. And we want that because they're not always going to be under our roof. And I want to know that I have a child that is doing the best that she can for herself. And just because I had a different experience doesn't mean my experience is going to be best for her. Yeah, I was literally going to bring that up basically. And like from the child's perspective, it's also knowing that
00:33:03
Speaker
Usually your parent is trying to protect you from something. And even if you don't believe that, you have to bring it inside yourself and be like, they are learning just like me right now. They're doing the best that they can with what they believe is right. Even if you can't come to an agreement in that moment, It might be something you have to work on together, but sometimes walls have to be torn down to get to the bottom of things and things take time. And just remember that we're all doing the best we can. Right. And part of healing as a parent is knowing that we don't really truly know everything.
00:34:03
Speaker
you know, that we we are on earth school and we're here to learn the lessons and the lessons can be so sweet if we're open to it and not just closed off and thinking our way is the only way. Yeah, because that's ignorant. That is, you're right, it is ignorant.
00:34:32
Speaker
I'm not saying you are. I was just saying that. I know that you don't think I'm ignorant. Of course not.
00:34:42
Speaker
Yeah.
Body Autonomy and Empowerment
00:34:43
Speaker
So any other, any other things that we want to talk about during this episode? I know that, that it's a little, well, different. Maybe another thing would just be if you are somebody who is on birth control who felt like they just had to do it and you want to get off, go for it. Do research about getting off of it too. Like I said, I was only ah on the pill. I've ever only known the pill and I just stopped. I don't know if that's the right way to do it, but that's what I did. Um,
00:35:26
Speaker
And don't be afraid because there are other options for you. And if you're in a partnership where that person is trying to keep you on it, it's your body. Yeah, it is is your choice. And if they are scared, there are other things to be figured out together. It's not just your responsibility. true thanks for bringing that up because i know that that there can be a certain pressure put on one because the fear yeah but you're smart and you and you know how to take care of your body and and you're doing all the research and so yeah
00:36:23
Speaker
It is your body in every situation as a woman. It is our body. It is our choice. It is our right to do what it is that we feel is best for us. Yeah.
Reconnecting with Womanhood
00:36:40
Speaker
You are the leader of your body. you are the Yes. Yes. And your cycle again is sacred. Everything about you woman is sacred. You know, before, When we used to be in communities yeah like years and years and years ago, we would take care of each other during these times. we would take care of our sisters and our mothers and in our communities and take care of each other and let them rest during that time of the moon cycle, the menstruation. And as we've talked about in previous episodes, it's just this like capitalistic society, masculine driven society that wants us to be closed off from our bodies so that we can just keep going, going, going and, and that's just completely changed. Yeah.
00:37:34
Speaker
womanhood has changed. But we can, we can come back and I, and there are a lot of, there are a lot of people that are teaching womb wisdom now. So if that's something you're interested in, you can look up womb wisdom to learn more about how to get in tune with your own womb and your own cycle and start learning the truth about yourself.
Preview of Next Episode and Closing
00:38:04
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. So as we are wrapping up today, we have a very interesting topic for our next, our next episode, which is what we're going to be talking about
00:38:27
Speaker
psychedelics yeah our experience our experiences on psychedelics and our healing journey separately and together separately and together so stay tuned for that yeah and yeah and then i think then I think we have a few planned out. They're going to be good. Yeah, i always say we're excited. We're excited about just really being more and more vulnerable as each episode goes on so that you can know that all of these things that are going on in the world, we've been experiencing some of them and how they've helped us navigate through our healing journeys and through our lives.
00:39:09
Speaker
And so, yeah, thank you all for your support. Again, it means a lot because this really is something that we're passionate about, continuing to grow together during this podcast and share our experiences. So thank you for following along. Please subscribe, rate, review, share, comment, all the things to help us grow and get our word out. Yes, we really appreciate it. And it really does go a long way. It does. It means a lot. So like we wrap up every episode. Don't judge her. Just love her. Hey.