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3. Healing Through Communication: Tools for Better Conversations
38 Plays1 year ago
In this episode of Spiraling Together: A Mother-Daughter Healing Journey, we go into the transformative power of communication. Join us as we explore practical tools for improving conversations and understanding between mothers and daughters. We'll share real-life examples of how we've navigated difficult times through communication, providing you with actionable strategies and heartfelt stories.
Listen in as we offer valuable resources and engage in a vulnerable discussion on how to heal through open, honest dialogue. Whether you're looking to mend a strained relationship or simply enhance your connection, this episode is packed with insights to help you build stronger, more compassionate bonds.
Tune in for an inspiring and educational journey towards better conversations and deeper healing.
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Disclaimer: The content of this podcast is based on our personal lived experiences and is for informational and inspirational purposes only. We are not medical professionals, and the advice and insights shared should not be taken as medical or psychological advice. Please consult with a qualified healthcare provider for any medical or psychological concerns you may have.
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Transcript
Introduction to Spiraling Together Podcast
00:00:03
Speaker
Aloha, friends. Welcome to Spiraling Together, a mother-daughter healing journey. I'm the daughter, Chloe, and I'm the mother, Valerie. Our mission is to create a safe, nurturing space where mothers and daughters can begin a journey of healing and empowerment together. Through heartfelt conversations, shared experiences, and our personal insights, we aim to foster deeper connections, strengthen bonds, and inspire growth. Before we dive into today's conversation, we want to take a moment to express our heartfelt thanks to all of you who are tuning in. Your willingness to expand and grow with us inspires us each day, and we are honored to have you as part of our community. If you haven't already, please check out our links below and follow us on your favorite platforms so you never miss an episode.
Episode Focus: Relationship Healing
00:00:56
Speaker
Let's get ready to unravel the spiral. Together.
00:01:01
Speaker
All right everybody, we're on episode three of Spiraling Together. Today we are diving into a topic that can transform your relationship healing through communication. Yeah, and the tools that we need to use or or that we can start implementing.
Chloe's Travel and Communication Challenges
00:01:21
Speaker
Yeah, why don't we kind of just ease in and you just got back from a trip, right? Yes, I did. A pretty long trip. I know, I know. Yeah, I went to San Diego, and Oahu, and Maui, and Oregon, and Washington, basically. Wow. Yeah. It was a long time, but it was a lot of fun. Yeah, and learned a lot of things too. Yeah. During that time, there was some communication between us. Yes. And even regarding this podcast. Definitely. And we learned some things. Right. Yeah. Because
00:02:08
Speaker
We recorded a couple of episodes and then you were gone. And then I was like, oh, how are we going to stay on this Monday schedule that we put out? Right. We're figuring it out. We are figuring it out. And that's, that's the thing is that any time that we are, well, apart, which we are gonna be when you're moving again. yeah We have to find ways to communicate and ways to understand and be aware of what all can be going on when we're not together. Because when we're on the farm, it's pretty easy just to be like, hey, let's have a chat. yeah And let's figure things out and let's plan this and let's plan that. It's a lot easier. It's gonna be a learning curve for sure.
00:03:00
Speaker
but Yeah, and there was some things that came up.
Reflecting on Podcast Commitment Struggles
00:03:03
Speaker
i I feel that we might, if you're willing, to share a little bit of what happened what happened exactly so that everyone can know how we worked through it in a healthy way. So do you want to start off? ah So basically, um Well, I guess for my side, I was
00:03:33
Speaker
definitely not putting in enough effort, I will admit, to helping out with everything. um I was also under the impression for most of my trip that I was going to have time, but when it wasn't exactly there, I didn't make the time because I was choosing to do other things. And and on my end, i I got mad at you. I know. Yeah. I, I was disappointed. Um, and I know that the initial, you know, text message I sent you was like, okay, so we're launching this tomorrow. Or, and then it was like, I was like, well, I guess we're not gonna do it after all because you know, nothing's been done yet. And,
00:04:32
Speaker
I found myself just like. you know, like breathing through it and then waiting. And I was like, you know what? I'm just going to go ahead and do this for now because it's okay. I, we made a commitment to put this podcast out and I knew you had a lot of things going on. So I just breathed into it and I was like, I'm going to do this. And when she gets back, we can have a conversation together about it instead of me trying to make her or force her to do the thing.
00:05:05
Speaker
And I think that's important with relationships that if we're really truly trying to heal, even if someone doesn't uphold their
Stress, Fear, and Perfectionism in Collaboration
00:05:15
Speaker
side of the commitment on something that we don't try to force them to.
00:05:23
Speaker
doesn't work that way. It doesn't work. It forcing never works. So I knew that you had a lot going on and I had a lot more free time. And I knew that this is going to unravel and, and actually it's going to put things in front of us for us to heal. Yeah. And I will, I think another thing, like, A fear of the podcast is the fact that we're working together now, too. Even though it's like, haha, we're just talking to each other, but it's all the stuff in the background. And I've seen the ways that work affects relationships um when you work together. So I was a little bit scared about that. um
00:06:12
Speaker
And I also realized that I think what we've talked we've talked about in um other episodes is like the perfectionism. I think that started to hold me back too. And part of me just wanted to be like, I don't even want to try right now because I feel like I'm just going to get upset, but I'm on vacation. but It's yeah, I'm not trying to make excuses These are all real things that come up and and on my end. I also was like well
00:06:45
Speaker
I'm not gonna do it as aesthetically pretty as like you can. and But I was like, at the same time, it doesn't really matter. like We just have to go for it. And so I was like, I'm gonna do the best I can and I know eventually we will change it up and it'll be okay. But I think the point of it is they're always, like people have two different realities happening. and sometimes we are not able to show up in the ways that we wanted to because there's that fear inside of us that's holding us and I know for me it's like I am ready to get our message out so I'm like raring to go but I also know that I've had a few years of things building up
00:07:35
Speaker
And so we're here and, and I know that we're just, as long as when you're faced with any type of dis I don't, I don't want to say it was a disagreement, but it was more of just like, we, we didn't fully commit.
Podcast as a Tool for Healing Relationship
00:07:56
Speaker
I didn't fully commit by telling you my expectations. So I didn't say, Chloe, these are all the things that you are going to be responsible for doing. And in my head, I was like, oh, well, I did this, this and this. And she, you know, there's these things that start building up. I mean, which I also. Yeah, I. I think with everything that we are doing, we.
00:08:24
Speaker
There is a lot that goes into it that we're both not very well versed on. Even like I'm 20 and it's social media. like yeah i I don't try that hard for social media. I haven't necessarily wanted to, but everything like YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, blah, blah, blah. It's a lot of stuff. It is. And it does add up. and yeah and Yeah, and I'll be honest, at first I was like, oh my gosh, I have to do all of these things and I don't want to do these all alone. But then I went, you know what? Yes, I do. I do want to do this because I do want to share our message. And I believe what our message is is important. And um so it started out like, ah but then it was like, this is kind of fun. And now I get to teach you some stuff. And then now we get to learn more together.
00:09:21
Speaker
And now we know in the future, when you do travel, like we talk about we talk about all the expectations we have. And then when we make a commitment, we truly like stick to it, which comes into being able to speak your truth with the people that you're around. Exactly. And and you know holding that space of, I made this commitment and this is what I need to do.
00:09:53
Speaker
you know
Nuances of Communication: Calls vs. Texts
00:09:55
Speaker
So that's just like a really part of effective communication is doing what you say you're gonna do. Yeah, yeah.
00:10:10
Speaker
I think, um, yeah, that's, that's a good segue to actually maybe give our tools into what we're going to continue to work on and yes, et cetera. But, um, Yeah, that was a little recap of us and our, um, just like the last couple of weeks of figuring it out, figuring things out and, and, and the things that came up, which I realize doing this podcast is going to be
00:10:49
Speaker
a way that we continue to heal things within our relationship and then with relationship with others. So I fully expected some things to like hit the fan, you know? I was like, oh, there's going to be some stuff coming up and this is great because we get to talk about it. And thank you for being vulnerable. I'm always going to appreciate that yeah when you do. for not being afraid to call me out too. Yeah. It's a good thing. And calling you out in a way that is not threatening or, or saying that you're wrong or that's, you know, ultimately makes you feel unsafe. And, and so yeah, with that segue, um, effective communication, you know, sometimes generationally communication can be a little difficult.
00:11:43
Speaker
Yeah, like I realize that sometimes I think that you will want me to text you.
00:11:53
Speaker
instead of calling you because I i guess I have that in my in my head that like texting is your like generations. generations and And can you just tell me maybe like honestly how you feel about? I think the thing with texting versus calling is like yeah I feel like when I was younger I wanted to text more just because I don't know I guess in a sense it's easier but now that I think when you get older you're like okay I just want to talk to this person and get through it because a lot of the time over text too you don't actually know how someone is talking to you they're also not
00:12:48
Speaker
necessarily being attentive to a conversation because you can text someone and they have the opportunity to write back immediately or not and wait hours and I'm a victim of that now because well I just I don't know. It's like you look at a text and you're like, eh, I don't want to reply right now. You know, and it feels wrong to do, but I do think not just me, but a lot of people do that now. And it's almost a way of like, eh, get to it later, which is not very nice. And it's also when you receive a text message.
00:13:32
Speaker
You can make stories up about what the text message means because you're not actually able to hear the tone of someone's voice or the way they're saying it. So depending on what you're doing or what you're feeling, you can literally create more behind the energy of the text message. I've definitely done that a lot. Yeah. So I think the bottom line is when you need to have a conversation and maybe it's one from the heart, it is best to call and and see if that person is available to have a conversation yeah so that they understand that you know you maybe you're not mad at them, but you just need clarification and you want to make sure that when we could segue into the actual phone call,
00:14:29
Speaker
It's important that the person on the other end, if you feel like you need, you have a heart matter, that they are fully attentive during the phone call so that you know that they're listening to you fully. Definitely. Yeah. And I would also say nine times out of 10, if someone calls me as opposed to texting me, I'm usually going to answer that phone call because I guess there's also almost more of like an urgency to it. Even if it's not an urgent phone call, like.
00:15:07
Speaker
I think it's in a way. It's like if someone calls me and I purposely don't pick it up, I feel mean because I feel like I am ignoring them, but a text feels less urgent. So you're less likely to reply. So i want to my I want to talk about that a little bit because
00:15:31
Speaker
I know that it seems like a phone call might be urgent or you said you feel mean. For me, if I don't have energy like and I feel completely tapped out, yeah um and I see the phone ringing, yeah sometimes I just can't answer it because I know that I won't fully be able to give my attention. So sometimes if a phone call comes through, I will text back knowing that I cannot fully give my attention, knowing that I'm, I don't know, I'm out and about somewhere and I'm and i'm not able to have a conversation.
00:16:10
Speaker
I will text back and say, hey, I'm shopping right now or I'm about to take a nap. Could I call you? Is it possible that I call you or is it something? Because if it was like an emergency and it was urgent, I i feel like the person would definitely like call you a lot, a lot, a lot, that you know, definitely yeah. Um, but if it's something where you can say, is it okay if I give you a call in 30 minutes to an hour, because you know that you will have finished your nap, you know that you will not be at the checkout line at the shopping, you know, after shopping or whatever. So that's, you know,
00:16:53
Speaker
something we can take into account that we don't always have to be available when we know that we're not able to be. I agree. Yeah.
00:17:07
Speaker
Yeah. So this is fun. We're just having these conversations and then looking at his iPad, like, okay, what do we talk about next? Yeah. So I think as far as when we do have conversations with people and they're coming to us with these heart matters to be able to have empathy and compassion for what they're bringing to us.
00:17:38
Speaker
Definitely. And showing that with your eye contact and I mean, if you can.
Empathy and Active Listening in Conversations
00:17:47
Speaker
Yeah. Um, it's just like being an active listener as well. Definitely. It's really important. Like if someone's coming to you with something, like they have hurt feelings or whatever the matter is, just making sure that they're capable of receiving and that you're also not going to go into defense mode and be open to hearing what they have to say. Because I think one of the most important things to know when someone comes to you with an issue is that they're coming to you because they want to fix it, because they want to keep the relationship
00:18:33
Speaker
in a positive light or they don't want to ruin everything, but they don't want to resent you. So they're coming to you to solve a problem. And your reaction is hopefully like, yes, it sucks that I disappointed this person. It really sucks that I made them feel this way, but they're coming to me because they care. They don't want to resent me. That's really beautiful to say it that way. I really appreciate that aspect or that perspective actually that when someone is coming, I love that. I just, yeah, it's true. And so just knowing that, like maybe bringing that into your heart first that this person actually is really wanting to mend this, whatever, whatever happened. And so thank you for bringing that in. Yeah. It's like,
00:19:36
Speaker
Really, all relationships, I mean, mom and daughter relationships or any relationship, it's important to have the conversations where you can truly understand how the other person feels and and has that need for connection and love. yeah And that's, I think that's all any relationship really wants is to know there's connection and love. And so when something comes up, being just able to stop what you're doing and maybe you can't at that moment. So what would you do in that scenario? Like what if you really needed to, I'm i'm not trying to put you on the spot. No, I'm not trying to put you on the spot. What I'm just trying to do is, okay,
00:20:30
Speaker
Let's say that you really needed to talk about something because it was very pressing for you, but the other person wasn't. You could tell that they just weren't in the right space to talk to you. I mean, personally.
00:20:47
Speaker
I definitely if I have something that comes up I usually am not going to immediately say anything anyways like regardless kind of of how that person ah feels or I can sense from them just as a way of like I want to be able to fully understand what I'm feeling and why they made me feel the way I feel And a lot of the time, like when people trigger you, it's not exactly like, I mean, I know they didn't mean to for the most part, like,
00:21:27
Speaker
Well, I guess it depends. Well, so what I want to say to this is part of that is like your attachment style. True. And a lot of people, well, there's all ranges of people. Some people can sit back and what you just said was like, I want to see how this makes me feel and I don't ah react immediately. Right. I'm quite the opposite. Yes. I i mean, I've come a long way, but there used to be a part of me that would react immediately. And I would also need to fix things immediately with someone else because I was a lot more anxious and you know needing to make sure that you still love me and making sure that I didn't. you know And so I think there's... Both sides. There's both sides. Some people can sit back, but some people need to fix it immediately.
00:22:25
Speaker
And that's where like that creating the safety within yourself. If you're someone that is like me, where I used to just like react and need you to know that, you know, I love you and I need to fix this right now.
Stress Responses and Communication Impact
00:22:37
Speaker
um Being able to breathe and get back into your body and creating a sense of safety and and not trying to force a conversation on someone else. Um, yeah, that's, you're totally right. Um, I.
00:23:01
Speaker
I definitely have work to do in that aspect because I do think my like, oh, I'm just going to step away from it. Yes, that is my attachment style because I mean, when people do hurt me, I just. Walls go back up, avoid get away from me. Yeah, avoid them. um I have come a long way. I know I'm still working on it, but because I used to just.
00:23:30
Speaker
I mean, with other relationships, like romantic relationships, I would just mentally be like, okay, they hurt me this time, they hurt me this time. Oh, one more, you gotta go. Like, I wouldn't even talk about it. and Now I'm at the point where I can talk about it, it's still really hard, but
00:23:53
Speaker
but with mother-daughter relationships, like you're kind of like, you can't just keep, I mean, you could keep keeping the score, but it's most likely that you're gonna be in each other's lives if you choose to. Whereas in a romantic relationship, you can end that. exactly But a mother-daughter relationship, it's harder to end that. harder And yeah, what I was just gonna say about
00:24:23
Speaker
your approach now and and every time you say I'm working on it remember this is a lifelong process really I mean it is we're learning lessons and we're undoing a certain way of being and so I'm still working on things all the time so just know that there's not like we're not going to reach this pinnacle of like everything is going to be completely perfect in this human experience so I just I want to give you so much credit and I will every episode the things that you're saying and the ways that you're showing up is very admirable and so thank you you know I'm always going to throw that in
00:25:07
Speaker
But I do like your approach and in the way of not trying to make things happen in the moment that you get triggered. But I will also say my response is the freeze. I do not have fight or flight. I freeze. So I do think that's another part of it. I just shut down if it's that bad of getting that triggered. um And I fight. Yeah.
00:25:44
Speaker
or i yeah um We're working on those things. Exactly. so If we could, okay, let's just say that we were safe. We felt safe within, and we didn't go into that fight or flight or survival. To have a conversation with another person, it's actually best when you are getting triggered.
00:26:16
Speaker
to, if you can be conscious of the trigger, if you can be aware that right now what you're doing is really, bothering me or hurting me. If you can take a deep breath and not try to fix it in that moment, because most times when you're having a conversation and it could be heated and both people are trying to figure things out, whatever, if you try in that moment to fix it when things are raw, that's kind of almost the worst time to do it because
00:26:50
Speaker
You think that this happened and they think that that happened and you're not able to really like make it work in that moment. It's a very rare. But if you can like take it in.
00:27:05
Speaker
and then maybe come back to it later. If it's not something super pressing, you can say, remember two days ago when this happened? I felt mad in that moment, like bringing in the way I feel and not trying to fix it in the moment. Like what we did. Exactly. When you got back home last night in the hot tub. Yeah.
00:27:37
Speaker
Yeah, which I also wanted to bring this up because I feel like a common phrase. I guess, I mean, this isn't correlate exactly to mother and daughter, but just a lot of like relationships and or like marriages is like, don't go to bed angry or like I'm not going to go to bed angry. And I believed that for a really long time because I was like, yeah, that's messed up. Like, why would you, you know, want to go to bed, mad at somebody, blah, blah, blah? But I think that at this stage I've recognized, like, not everything gets fixed exactly when it happens. And that's fine.
Regulating Emotions for Effective Conflict Resolution
00:28:21
Speaker
you and your partner or your mom or a dad or et cetera, like you're always going to need time to figure out what to say, how to say things, both be in the right space to actually hold for each other and understand each other. Cause and what you were talking about earlier too is like, we all create our own stories in our heads. Sometimes, yes, it's gonna fester. But that's when you have to realize, okay, I need to take a deep breath. I understand what I'm doing is not healthy for me. And they don't even know what's going on in my head. I'm punishing myself for what?
00:29:08
Speaker
Exactly. That's the last episode that we had was we talked a lot about the nervous system regulation and how it's important to be regulated because when we're unregulated The easiest way that I've ever been able to know when I'm unregulated is when those stories are just repeating in my head and I'm like, well, I'm going to say this to her and I'm going to say that to her. And if she would have done this, you know, it's like that repeating thing that goes on. And then once you become aware of that, that's happening.
00:29:44
Speaker
You can say, all right, I am going to choose to breathe. Because like you said, they don't know that you're doing this. What are you punishing them in their head? You're only hurting yourself. You're raising your own cortisol. You're stressing your own body systems out. And for what? Because you think that somehow that's going to like do something? No, it's really hurting you, like you said. So it's finding a practice that gets you regulated. that allows you to come in and know that this is part of life. I don't want to stay in a trauma drama. I want to actually fix this.
00:30:24
Speaker
So it is um extremely important to find practices When you are working on communication with your mom or your daughter or any other relationship, find practices that you can become regulated and that you, if you need to pause, like I really love the way you talked about you, that common misconception of never go to bed angry. That's forcing you to fix something. Now you can tell someone that you love them.
00:30:56
Speaker
and still not have talked through whatever the problem is. Because you do love them. yeah yeah we don't But we've learned to withhold love when communication breaks or when something happens. We withhold love. But i'm no matter whatever comes up between you and me, I'm always gonna love you. exactly So I wanna keep my heart open, even if I'm angry, even if I'm confused,
00:31:27
Speaker
Even though, I mean, because I can feel this and especially in my in my marriage, I will feel my heart shut down and I will feel when I get angry that I cannot. Love him. And then I'm like, no, we have misunderstandings. We have miscommunications in all of our relationships. And the moment that I start feeling like my heart is closing off, I'm choosing that wall. But I wanna open it and be like, this is a normal process. I wanna keep my heart open even if we can't work it out right in this moment and I need time to process.
00:32:09
Speaker
We'll come back to it. Yeah. Yeah. I've definitely, definitely done the withholding love thing with other relationships. And it's hard because in the moment you're like retaliating and you're like trying to punish them because you think that they did something wrong.
00:32:38
Speaker
And yeah, it's not, I don't know. It's bad. Yeah, it it is bad, but that is like the that's what the majority, that's what we've learned.
Non-Violent Communication Techniques
00:32:51
Speaker
that's We have learned to withhold love when things get hard. We haven't learned proper communication techniques. And so that's what we're trying, we are focusing on in this episode and we're focusing on, it's a continuation of learning. So there are tons of resources, there are tons and tons of resources and books like Nonviolent Communication and other ways of of learning to be in in practicing. I know there's um one of my favorite authors
00:33:29
Speaker
They're Matt and Ash, the yoga couple. They have two books, The Inner Work and Now the Inner Work of Relationships. And there's a part of that book that literally has step by step how to start you know communicating in a healthy way. And so it's utilizing resources. Even if it takes you getting a notebook or but one of those index cards, and writing down like how to say these new things it's a practice it doesn't just come to you exactly and it's hard to rewire your communication skills exactly because i mean for me
00:34:14
Speaker
I'm like so it's it's hard for me to talk about hard things or have difficult conversations because I just cry and then I don't want to talk because I'm crying or it's like the idea of disappointing someone it sucks like you don't want them to think that they hurt you or like
00:34:43
Speaker
i I just have a hard time having hard conversations. You know what I do? and Not so much with you. But i I start getting angry. And then I start trying to force them to see my point.
00:35:05
Speaker
And that isn't that's not effective yeah at all. You can't force someone into seeing your point or you just can't. That's like controlling and manipulating the conversation. And I know that in my own relationship with my mom, I ah learned that type of communication. which my mom and I have repaired our relationship in such a beautiful way, but you do kind of repeat what you see. yeah And that's what we're trying to undo right now. Because at the end of the day, again, we all want to be loved and heard. And so to be able to sit down and
00:36:00
Speaker
have a conversation with someone else where you both can be present and you both can use like I statements instead of you did this and you did that and just say i I feel hurt because of what happened and I really want to repair this with you. you know Yeah, I know we started talking about that more recently using the I statements which I don't think a lot of like well my at my age and like the media I consume it's not a
00:36:39
Speaker
I don't get a lot of stuff like that and I think that is really important to learn because when you are having a difficult conversation if you're blaming someone
Using 'I' Statements During Conflicts
00:36:51
Speaker
and shaming someone and making them feel like this awful bad guy They're just gonna get upset and then for them to feel like that you like took you stripped them from Like who they really are and now Sometimes they're just gonna think oh my gosh like I am horrible like I made them feel like this. Oh my gosh and like Most the time when people hurt your feelings they don't mean to
00:37:26
Speaker
And I think that's another thing you personally have to understand before you go into an a conversation. And that is why you have to say, I feel like this. I. You know, I know you probably didn't mean to do this, but I do need to tell you so that you understand. And, you know, hopefully we can work on this. But when you are saying you did blah, blah, blah, and you're making me mad, you're, it's all you. You're not taking accountability that like.
00:38:05
Speaker
You can't do that. No, anytime there's two people, you both showed up in some way. And we're not talking about extreme cases here. Yeah. we're we're Yeah. I really liked the way you talked about that you don't see this communication very often and why it is so important. And and it's so extremely important not to shame someone else. because as soon as you shame someone, they shut down and then they can't even hear what you're saying. And when you go into a conversation with someone you truly care and love about, what is the end goal?
00:38:50
Speaker
It's for you to both come come back and and maybe learn something and understand. It's not for one of you to win. It's not a win-lose. There's not a superior or an inferior, and it should be a win-win. Exactly. Because we're we're both winning when we're loving. If one person is winning and the other person is losing, then there's not true love. That's that's not coming from the heart.
00:39:19
Speaker
It's coming from I'm superior to you.
00:39:24
Speaker
So yeah, you're very right. But I like what you said. The win-win is when you both love each other. And if it's not win-win, there's not real love. Yeah. And so if you know if you know that that's what you wanna create in your relationship with your mother, daughter, or anyone else, that there's always gonna be a win for both of you, then you really have to go into the conversation knowing that that is the outcome. And um something I've been doing a lot is just holding my hand over my heart and being like, okay,
00:40:11
Speaker
The heart is where the true love comes from. Anywhere else, this isn't going to work. where So if i if I can't be in my heart for a conversation, I'm not ready to have the conversation. And I can't force someone else to either. Yeah. So it does take time and it does take pausing. I did also want to say.
Expressing Gratitude and Offering Support
00:40:40
Speaker
I do think that out of a lot of mother-daughter relationships that I have witnessed, I feel very lucky to have you as my mother. I feel like we've had a very easy going relationship um and
00:41:05
Speaker
I think we've been like besties for a really long time. And I am really lucky and grateful for that. Cause I do know a lot of girls that do not go through the same thing. And I, I can see how hard it is to not have, Oh, it makes me want to cry. Um, it's okay. A mom that's not supportive. Hmm.
00:41:35
Speaker
yes so so
00:41:40
Speaker
So I just want to send like extra love to those mothers and daughters who feel that pain. Yeah. Thank you for saying that. And I, I love you so much. Thank you for being so vulnerable right now and letting these tears out because we really truly have had a very beautiful relationship. And I will say it's because I didn't have the same. I wanted to, and I didn't. And I saw the pain that a mother could instill on a daughter.
00:42:22
Speaker
And I promised that I would never do that to you. And yeah, it is, um it's beautiful that we've been able to move through that. But I do know what it is like to have a tumultuous relationship with a mother and how upsetting that is.
00:42:48
Speaker
And I'm just, thank you for saying all those beautiful things to me. Thank you for being here. And there's a reason why we are showing up here to show that it is possible to heal relationships. If both people are willing.
00:43:10
Speaker
So as we wrap up this episode, Hopefully that you can see how important communication is in a relationship and being able to create that win-win, being able to come from the heart, being able to use the I language, being able to wait until it is a time where both can be attentive to what is happening and what's going on.
00:43:45
Speaker
Yeah, so thank you all for joining today. We appreciate you being here. We absolutely do. And if you haven't subscribed yet, please subscribe.
Episode Wrap-up and Next Topic Teaser
00:43:55
Speaker
We are on all podcast platforms now, including YouTube. yeah And in our next episode, we're going to be talking about self-love, the importance of that. in nurturing ourselves through this healing process, so. Because it's difficult. Yeah. Yeah, so that's a wrap. Yes. I love you, babe. I love you. And just remember, don't judge her. Just just love her.