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10. Our Current Influences: Life Updates and Media Reflections
19 Plays1 year ago
Join us in this episode of Spiraling Together as we catch up on our latest life adventures and the media that's shaping our journey. Valerie shares her experiences from a transformative visit to Alaska, while Chloe discusses the emotional transition of leaving Hawaii and starting a new chapter in San Diego. We dive into our latest book recommendations, reflect on the lessons we’re learning, and explore how these influences are impacting our healing paths. Tune in for an intimate conversation filled with insights, growth, and inspiration.
Check out The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle! https://lauradoyle.org/the-empowered-wife/
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https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/spiraling-together-a-mother-daughter-healing-journey/id1753768239
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Edited By: https://www.instagram.com/chloecritz/
Intro Track: https://soundcloud.com/itsaftertune/aftertune-under-the-palm-trees-original-mix
Disclaimer: The content of this podcast is based on our personal lived experiences and is for informational and inspirational purposes only. We are not medical professionals, and the advice and insights shared should not be taken as medical or psychological advice. Please consult with a qualified healthcare provider for any medical or psychological concerns you may have.
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Transcript
Emotional Farewell & Episode Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
I'm really gonna miss you having you here. It's gonna be, oh gosh, here we go. I already cried about this today. I know. Wow.
00:00:16
Speaker
All right, everybody, welcome back to Spiraling Together. This is episode 10. Today, we are kind of going to go a little bit lighter on the topics of discussion because the past few weeks have been a little vulnerable. um So today, we kind of just want to chill, have a chill conversation.
00:00:39
Speaker
and yeah And we're going to give some life updates and things that have been going on with us the past couple weeks and and what's coming up for the future. yeah and And just chat a little bit. So it won't be a very long episode unless something really takes off. But I think it's going to be more just updating you all on what we're doing with our life right now. so Exactly.
Alaskan Adventure: Nature and Wildlife Encounters
00:01:05
Speaker
So we did batch record the last three episodes and that's because you're in Alaska. So we can start off with your experience in Alaska. Oh yeah. So Chad and I, my husband and I went to Alaska for about 10 days and we stayed in an RV like Winnebago and it was just absolutely gorgeous. I've honestly,
00:01:32
Speaker
Of all the places I've ever been to, I just couldn't stop saying, wow, as we were driving through snow-capped mountains and glaciers. And we saw so much wildlife. I've honestly never seen that many animals, unless it was at a zoo. yeah It was a lot. And we saw killer whales and humpback whales and otters and puffins and brown bears and black bears and was Oh my gosh, the moose. Yeah, you should tell that story. Oh, okay. Well, so I'm definitely a firm believer that
00:02:16
Speaker
you can attract and call in things into your experience. And since the wildlife was so exciting to me, and I had seen so many different things, a moose was on the things that I wanted to see. And everyone's like, oh, in Anchorage, you'll see one, no problem, no problem.
00:02:34
Speaker
um And we hadn't seen one and it was the very last day of our trip and I really still wanted to see a moose.
Experiences and Synchronicity in Travel
00:02:42
Speaker
And so I told my husband, I was like, you know, it's okay if I don't, but I would like to try one more time just to see if possibly, you know. And he's like, sure. So it's like 8 30 at night. It's still light in Alaska until 11 or 12. Crazy. Yeah.
00:03:00
Speaker
And I just looked up and there was this one park that said there are moose sightings, but they're usually out in the forest. which at that time we were pretty tired and I wasn't really like able to hike. But so we went into this park and we were driving around and looking for a while. We even got out and did a small hike. And when you're sitting there thinking about a moose and how large it is, it was a little intimidating to be walking through these woods. And I was like, well, you know, at this point I'm kind of tired. Let's,
00:03:35
Speaker
You know, we tried and I just let it go I was like i'm not gonna be sad if I don't see him loose, but I still would love to and We got in the car and as we were driving out chad's like, okay i'm gonna just turn down this one Other road just you know, because there's a lake out there. Maybe and so I was like, okay. Yeah, and I was whatever we we drive down and all of a sudden I look over and i'm like honey it's a moose and it wasn't just one moose it was two it was two younger babies they didn't even have their antlers yet but they were still really tall and it just it was like you know
00:04:12
Speaker
It was amazing to see them. And then it was also just like, I had already let go of, I'm not going to be disappointed if I don't see them, but I still was very hopeful to see them. So. I also thought it was really funny. You kept sending us pictures of the hotel room numbers y'all would keep getting. Oh yeah. That was funny.
00:04:34
Speaker
Yeah, the first the first night we got there, we decided to stay in a hotel before we got the RV and the first room number was 333. And then after we had, it was getting kind of rainy and
Travel's Deeper Experiences and Personal Growth
00:04:50
Speaker
ah Chad was like, let's get a hotel room because It was really rainy and some of the time we were stuck in the RV and the the like bathroom shower was kind of small. And so I was like, yeah, let's, let's stay at a hotel. And then we got a hotel and it was one, one, one. And it was, yeah. And it, it it felt like a very
00:05:16
Speaker
aligned trip and a very guided trip even though we didn't have everything really planned out and Some of the time as we were driving because it is a rainier month in Alaska We didn't even know what we were driving through we had no idea The amount of beauty that was that we were just driving through because it was foggy Yeah, and on the way back coming we were like oh Whoa, like i I have never seen anything like this before. And what it made me feel like was that it's a lot like a healing journey or before you awaken to the possibilities of life, you're kind of going in a state of fog.
00:06:03
Speaker
o And then once you start healing and peeling the layers back and allowing yourself to experience joy and higher levels of consciousness and being able to really see the magic that's all around, then you see those high mountain tops with the glaciers and with everything that's just so beautiful. And that's what it made me think of. A lot of times we don't really know how amazing our life can be because we've been so stuck in pain. Yeah. Wow, that's beautiful analogy there. Well, that's one of the things I love about traveling is because you don't really know what's going to hit you. True. You know, I, and I just want to say as far as traveling goes, because I have another trip coming up.
00:06:57
Speaker
To me, it isn't a vacation. Like it's not a vacation from my life because the life that we've created, I love. It's getting these deeper experiences and some of them are really uncomfortable. Like ah I fully knew going into this trip, it was going to be uncomfortable.
00:07:19
Speaker
getting rained on. I mean, I'm used to that, but it was like rain and cold and like... It's not like a vacation that's like going to the beach. Yeah. Like, you know. Yeah. I get what you're saying. Yeah, but i I feel like a lot of times when you do travel you're going somewhere different. And you're, you know, we were operating this ah RV and it was all different like all of these different things are a little bit uncomfortable because you don't know what it is you're doing. yeah But then you get through it and you're like, well, that's another thing that I can do or that I learned. yeah And so that's what I really enjoy a lot about traveling is just
00:08:03
Speaker
the unexpected. Exactly. So let's talk about you now and what you're doing and where you're going. Yeah. Well tomorrow I'm going to San Diego. Yes. um Technically my official move date, even though I am going to come back like two weeks later. Um, and I'm just moving everything through the airline, two checked bags and a carry on. So hopefully I get everything in the two trips, but
00:08:42
Speaker
Yep and then I pick my truck up in LA and luckily I have a friend who lives out there and another friend we actually planned to go to a concert and spend the weekend in LA first and then it just so happened that it worked out my truck is literally gonna get there the day after the concert so I'm already gonna be out there anyways kind of perfect timing and then um My friend and I are gonna go on a road trip right after that too. um We don't have everything planned out, but we're gonna stay in California, drive up north, go through wine country and everything. I know we're definitely gonna go to Big Sur.
00:09:27
Speaker
um Yeah, I was also going to say if anybody's watching this has done a road trip in California or super unplanned so far is kind of just a spontaneous thing. But yeah, if anyone has any good ideas about where to go, where to stop, I would love to hear them. It's going to be my first time doing an actual road trip like with a friend. So I'm super excited for that.
00:09:55
Speaker
I think it'll be fun and o one of the things that I really like to do is not plan out everything so much. Yeah, we did talk about that. We were like, I just want to know where we're our destination is for the day. But in between, I was like, whatever, whatever we see, we'll go do.
00:10:16
Speaker
I honestly think that's some of the most like aligned and magical times I've ever had is when you don't have everything exactly planned out and then you just kind of like just see something you're like, oh, let's try that or let's do this or whatever. i That's basically a lot of what I just did in Alaska. yeah and We had our major towns that we knew we wanted to go to, but yeah we didn't plan out every single thing.
00:10:44
Speaker
because I do think, I feel like a common
Empowerment and Challenges of Solo Travel
00:10:48
Speaker
thing that happens is, people plan out their vacations like to a tee and when things don't work out exactly the way that they plan them to be then they start freaking out and all of a sudden no one's having a good time anymore because the one person that's trying to control everything is now super stressed out and freaking out which is sending off those vibes to everybody else involved
00:11:19
Speaker
And that's when vacationing seems like it's not fun anymore. It's true. and And let's just talk about that. When you plan everything out so much that you don't plan any time to actually rest.
00:11:35
Speaker
That too. and And then you're like, okay, you don't feel good, and but you're forcing yourself to go see things and you're forcing yourself, you know, just to get the pictures or just to whatever. And it's like, I don't really love to travel that way. I like to leave some days where I know that if I need to rest and like, depending on where you are in your cycle or anything like that, you just have to really be able to not, when you get home, need a vacation from your vacation. Yeah. You know. Yeah. I was going to say like, if you are that person that plans things out on vacation, know that people do love that because
00:12:26
Speaker
Like, you know, you get to go do stuff that somebody else planned out. And it usually is fun because they did their research and looked things up. But don't plan too much to the point where if some of those things fall through, it's gonna be upsetting for you. And also realize it's not Completely your responsibility. I feel like a lot of people take on that responsibility if it's like a friend group vacation and stuff like that they're like oh I have to do everything. And then if you're the one that probably did everything those other people probably aren't going to adhere to it perfectly.
00:13:06
Speaker
and I know that can be upsetting but know that you can break up in the group too if some people need to rest just go off do your thing have fun it's not the end of the world if not everybody's together all the time true because another thing like when I went to Japan with three men and they like you know Well, I wouldn't even say they constantly wanted to do stuff. We all constantly wanted to do stuff, but it didn't always align. And obviously there's not enough time in the day to do everything everyone wants to do. So a lot of the time we did split up the group. Like some people went and got massages and other people went and got food that they wanted to eat. And then if there were days we didn't want to split up, we'd be like, hey,
00:13:57
Speaker
Everybody gets to choose one thing that we all do. So we do like four activities or like stuff like that and at least someone got to do at least one thing they wanted to that day. And it worked out really well. Those are good tips.
00:14:15
Speaker
But yeah, it's, I think it's also really good to just communicate with who you're traveling with and let them know how you're doing or if they're like, let's go to this restaurant and you really don't want to go or whatever, just communicate, you know, I think that's the best thing to do always. Yeah, because there were There were also two times in our trip where they all wanted to just chill and I was like, I don't. So I left and I went and did my own thing. And those are some of the highlights of my trip because I literally got to do what I wanted on my time. And it's.
00:14:56
Speaker
doing stuff alone when you're traveling is I would say pretty healing because like we've talked about before like going on a date by yourself you really get to learn a lot about yourself and you're you don't really care as much about what your friends think of you what the people around you think and I remember I had to ask people for help in Japanese just to make sure I was getting on the right train. But, you know, that helped my confidence and they were like smiling and super nice to me. And that's, of course, because you're in Japan. But yeah, yeah, that's I'm proud of you. Thanks. I'm going to be going on a solo trip to France in
00:15:45
Speaker
That was a perfect segue. I forgot about that. Yeah. I was like, did you set me up for this in, I don't know, two and a half, three weeks. Yeah. I'm going to be heading to France and the majority of it is going to be like a solo trip. And then I'll be meeting up with my mom. Hi mom. I know you're watching. Thank you for being our biggest fan. Yes. Aloha listeners. We hope you're enjoying this episode of spiraling together. We're just taking a quick break to remind you about a few things.
00:16:15
Speaker
If you're loving what you hear, we ask you to please follow, like and subscribe to our podcast. Your support helps us reach more people who might benefit from our conversations. And we're on all the major social media platforms. You can find us on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and TikTok. Just search for spiraling together and you'll see all our latest updates and behind the scenes content.
00:16:40
Speaker
We absolutely love hearing from you. Your comments, likes, and shares mean the world to us. They not only motivate us to keep us going, but also helps us create better content for you. So, if you have any feedback, questions, or topics you'd like us to cover, please leave us a comment or send us a message. We read every single one and appreciate your thoughts.
00:17:05
Speaker
Thank you so much for supporting Spiraling together. Your engagement and feedback are what keep us inspired and passionate about bringing you more vulnerable conversations. Now let's get back to the show.
00:17:21
Speaker
I have enough travel experience and I have solo traveled before but not internationally, but I have traveled internationally to Italy and Japan and um and I'm looking forward to it so much just because I, you know, like you said, it's it's building that confidence, you know, going to another country where you don't speak the native tongue and being able to witness, I think living here in Hawaii, we have learned to witness, it's like, especially before you got into the ocean or anything else, you really sit back and you watch and you make sure that, you know, before you go into something.
00:18:05
Speaker
You're well first off safe, but for the ocean of course, but when you travel Just kind of watching what the local people do like how they do the train ticket or how they do whatever and just kind of looking I really got prepared for that When I was in Japan with Chad when he got sick, he's usually our navigator And he got sick and I became the navigator. And it was almost like the universe was like, here, you're going to do this so you can see that you can really do it when you're in another country. And so there's this, all these different things that happen prepare you for the future. And so I feel fully confident and I don't speak much French, but I know that we have Google translate and we have all of these, but yeah, so I'm going on. So many resources. So many resources.
00:18:59
Speaker
And you can ask for help. Yeah. And I know how hard that is. Yeah. But sometimes you just got to do it. And humans really do want to help others. They really do. you know Yeah. And if you're just nice person, you smile and obviously there are bad tourists everywhere. Yeah. Which does suck, but people aren't going to be mean to you if you are being respectful and nice to them.
00:19:26
Speaker
Yeah. For the most part. Yeah. In some places, you know, people have tried to prepare me that I might not, don't take anything personally. Yeah. When I go to France. Right. And that's fine. I'm not going to. And I already kind of know that but everyone lives in their own reality.
00:19:43
Speaker
And so you're just like coming into someone else's reality you don't know what they've experienced in that day you don't know if they've gotten in a fight with their loved one or if Whatever happened like you just think about the days where you you might be having a bad day Everyone is going through something. So just don't take that personally Just exactly still have fun and it's one of the four agreements that is oh, yeah yeah Shout out to a really cool book. Yeah.
Insights from 'The Empowered Wife' Book
00:20:15
Speaker
Love that book. Yeah. I'm so glad that you're reading and expanding your awareness and your growth. It's very helpful on this journey. It is. I like sitting down and reading too, because instead of being on my phone, it's something else to do, you know? Yeah. Yeah.
00:20:38
Speaker
And I do like it a lot. I used to say I hated it so much. And then I was like, why? Why do I think I hate it so much? It was because of school. I figured that out. But that makes sense. It kind of yeah takes the fun out of things. Because I never like expanded my reading into anything outside of what was told to be read. So obviously, you're not really going to enjoy books that aren't your taste.
00:21:04
Speaker
But once I got out of that and started picking books that I thought were interesting, then I was like, oh, now I understand why people like reading. Yeah. Yeah. And And I also just love that you are reading some of the books I've been reading, the ones that I'm like, whoa, you have to listen to this book or read this book. Like the Four Agreements was one, but then now this book that you're listening to, yeah
00:21:36
Speaker
It, it has completely blown my mind and it came in at the right time. And I think that that's, if somebody has recommended a book to you or you keep seeing it or a podcast episode or anything like that, there's a reason that's coming in for you. Like that means that you're ready and you're open to receiving the messages that are there. And this book, it's called The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle.
00:22:05
Speaker
dole ah being We'll link it below. But she talks about intimacy skills and talks about how a lot of times when couples are struggling, they have they've maybe gone to marriage counseling or something like that and how that really doesn't work because again you're just talking through things which is so crazy in this part of the book when she talks about it which is just like the very beginning and she's you know talks about and couples struggling going to marriage counseling and like you go to marriage counseling and then they still end in like divorce a lot of the time because it is like yeah you're just talking about why
00:22:56
Speaker
You know, you're having problems with this person that you're married to and that doesn't feel good for that person because now somebody else knows that this person's angry with you.
00:23:11
Speaker
blah, blah, blah. And you just keep saying the negative things that they're doing. And so ah she teaches different intimacy skills and some of them blew my mind and I immediately started do sharing them with my husband or doing them with my husband. It was amazing how different things just shifted so fast by just the change in words. So,
00:23:41
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. it Learning different ways to just do things is is one of the hugest things of the healing journey that I've learned is
00:23:56
Speaker
I question everything now. Like literally everything that I've ever learned, I question it. And the norm that you, oh my gosh, it was a gnat. I know. I've seen it multiple times. um Just like last episode. Yeah. I just, I question everything now and I no longer want to do what everyone else does. Yeah. um Because there is a better way of being able to be in harmony with another human being.
00:24:25
Speaker
Yeah. And then I think the funny thing is like it's going back to that book, The Four Agreements. he's like We all have these agreements with ourselves that are like written in our brains, like etched in our brains. And we have all these beliefs about ourselves, about the people around us, everything. We ah we have these stories that are like so set in stone.
00:24:53
Speaker
But once you realize you can change those agreements Then the world is your oyster Yeah, wow That's really beautiful. Mm-hmm. So that's why this book it's like teaching you how to change certain agreements you have with your significant other already it's it's like Oh, my partner usually doesn't do the laundry when I ask or something like that. And then it's like, well, it's maybe because you're shaming them for it every single time, right? Instead of like asking nicely or saying that
00:25:34
Speaker
you know, not, what's the word, complaining about it? If you stop complaining about it or you don't shame them about it, maybe they're gonna actually wanna do it for you. Because there's not negativity already around the subject. All right, let's let's give them that one thing. You know what I'm talking about. This one tip, like the most profound for me in the book that I've used with Chad already.
00:26:02
Speaker
Instead of the shaming, you literally just say, babe, I would love it if you would clean the countertops. Like, for instance, if he's doing only the dishes and then he leaves the countertops dirty, instead of me saying, well, you clean the kitchen, but you just don't clean the countertops. Like, I just complained about it.
00:26:25
Speaker
But he finishes washing the dishes. I'm like, oh, thank you. I would love it if you would clean the countertops and just that little change of I would love it if. Because it's positive. It's positive. And then what is, what is a man really want to do? Honestly, make his wife or his girlfriend happy. You just told him how to do it. Yeah. Boom. You just turned into his mom.
00:26:52
Speaker
wait right wait you don't want to be as mom no exactly no oh I was like, wait a second, no, the opposite. So I was saying, oh when when you're like, oh, you cleaned it, but you didn't do this. oh Now you need to do this. That's motherly. yeah telling We want to be teaching. Yes, we want to be intimate. Sorry. I love you. You do not want to be his mom. No, that's actually kills intimacy. yeah like That is the number one intimacy killer in a relationship is when both of you are trying to parent each other.
00:27:28
Speaker
no Nobody wants that. It's no. And then you wonder why people don't have any intimacy together is because you're trying to control each other. And wow, we're really going off on this episode. And we didn't even plan anything. Maybe since we said in the beginning, we were gonna keep it kind of short.
00:27:49
Speaker
um you Oh, it's fun, though. I know I'm having fun. We're just really excited about this book, y'all. Yeah. it's and It's such a great book. And I was going to wrap it back into, it is perfect timing that I'm reading this book because I am ah about to move in with my
Life Changes and Podcast Logistics
00:28:11
Speaker
boyfriend. I left that out. He's the reason I'm moving to San Diego. Yes. and Yeah, we've been doing long distance for too long. So it's about time. And when you've shared with me some of the things that have come up in your relationship because things come up in every relationship. Nothing is perfect. Nothing. There is no perfect person for someone else. The only perfect person that is for someone else is when you're both
00:28:38
Speaker
loving yourselves first and doing the work, but relationships bring up your unfinished business. And so when Chloe has come to me with different things and we've talked and I've listened to so several books, done a whole bunch of work on relationships, it's been one of my main focuses with my husband. um When I listened to this book, I was like, oh my gosh, you have to listen to this book. It's just so good.
00:29:05
Speaker
Yeah. And I knew I couldn't pass it up. I was like, this is too good of timing. Yeah. Not saying I, we have issues a lot or whatever. I'm just like, well, we're about to move in with each other. so in Every relationship has things that come up. I mean, if you don't, you're either ignoring it or just not being truthful that there are things that come up. Yeah. So,
00:29:34
Speaker
I think what you said about the Four Agreements book, about the agreements that you have with others and those belief systems, you have the opportunity now to let that go, like let those stories go, let those beliefs go, and you can start creating a life and a relationship that is truly beautiful and joyful. It doesn't mean that you're not going to face struggles, but at least you're starting to learn the skills to know that there are other ways. Right. And especially in this relationship you're in, and the life that you're going to be creating in San Diego, you are the creator of it.
00:30:20
Speaker
you And you know that if if something isn't working out, there might be a reason for it. I mean, we're we're always being guided and aligned, and we're just kind of pivoting. yeah yeah But you're gonna do great. And I'm really thankful for this podcast because we want to continue to record together. yeah So I'm just gonna fly her out and we're gonna batch record and that way we can spend some time together and record the episodes and still see each other. Yeah. Cause the next few months, we both have a lot of stuff going on, but we're gonna get the podcast stuff done. Yeah. And thankfully it's only like a five hour flight, right? So it's not too bad. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I,
00:31:13
Speaker
I'm really going to miss you having you here. It's going to be. Oh, here we go. I already cried about this today. I know. Wow. um We cry. I think it's going to be really great for you. think Wow.
00:31:35
Speaker
And I miss you too. Yeah. But we're going to see each other. And the cool thing about this podcast is that we, we yeah get to talk every week and we get to see each other on social media. So yeah. Wow. I was like, all good it is all good. But obviously it's just, um,
00:32:00
Speaker
Leaving the nest. Leaving the nest. And who am I going to make sourdough for? You're going to send it to me. I know, right? You'll teach me how to make my own. Yeah, I did give you a sourdough starter. Yes. All right. Well, going forward, we are going to do our next episode. We don't have the title yet, but we are going to talk about energy healing. Yeah.
00:32:28
Speaker
Yeah. So I don't know what that title is yet. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out, but we're going to talk about energy healing because that has been a huge part of my journey and what I do. And I believe we're also going to talk about possibly body image and like our bodies and yeah. So those are going to be some of the episodes coming up. And in the meantime,
Rebranding Journey & Reflections
00:32:59
Speaker
Thank you all for your support and for liking commenting, subscribing, all the fun stuff. And the rebrand. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I hope. Let us know what you think about the rebrand. I think it looks amazing. I love it. Chloe did it. And it was.
00:33:22
Speaker
really fun creatively to do, but also a lot of work to redo all of it. But next time I'm not redoing all of it. And maybe you learn some lessons about that. It's okay not to have everything. The perfectionism. Working on it. Yeah.
00:33:39
Speaker
yeah Yeah, but it does look really beautiful and I do commend you for all thank making everything look so good. I was like, wow. So yeah. Shout out to my brother Logan and my boyfriend James for ah giving me some insight on what it looks like, if it's good, if it needs a little tweaking and stuff like that. Yeah, that's good to have. Logan is very creative as well. And so is James. Yeah. So all right. Well, like we end every episode. Don't judge her. Just love her. Peace.