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Episode 25: Noah's Military Love Story | Boys 2 Men
114 Plays3 years ago
In todays episode, the world famous reoccurring segment Hard To Answer Questions makes a glorious return. They talk about everything from being in history books to bro code.
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Transcript
Repeated Storytelling
00:00:01
Speaker
Yeah. So, um, like the third time I've told this story in the last, actually, no, it's like, yeah, I mean, it's the, it's the fourth time I've told this story tonight.
Class Snapchats
00:00:11
Speaker
So, uh, there was a, there was somebody, so, uh, I got a bunch of people's Snapchat's from my Instagram or from my, uh, English, one of six class. Who is doing this?
00:00:28
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Sorry. I forgot my audio was, I forgot my headphones are on. I forgot how this is actually doing.
Pizza Pocket Plans
00:00:37
Speaker
Go ahead. So, um, so I got a bunch of people's Snapchat from, from English 105, right? Like, like girls. And well, girls and guys, the homies, it wasn't like, yeah. So I was Snapchatting one of them and they had like a hot or not a hot pocket pizza pocket.
00:00:58
Speaker
And I was like, Ooh, I want a pizza pocket. And she was like, well, we can go get a pizza pocket. I was like, I'm too lazy. Can you bring me a pizza pocket? You know, as a joke, not flirtatiously at all.
Dorm Drama
00:01:10
Speaker
Um, and she was like, okay, well tomorrow we'll go get, uh, we can go get hot pockets together. Okay. That's cool. And I'm like, and then she's like, we'll get hot pockets and then we'll go over to your door.
00:01:24
Speaker
She was very adamant about my dorm, which was interesting. So no, it's not what you think. Oh, no, no. So today rolls around and I'm working on my English paper and I'm trying to find references. I'm like, I'm having a really hard time finding references because we were talking about it. And she was like, Oh, oh, you want me to come over and help you? And like, yeah, sure.
00:01:54
Speaker
So she, uh, she comes down cause she's on the fifth floor vacation and I'm, I'm in the first floor vacation. So she comes down and I'm like, Oh, Hey, she comes into my room. This is the first time I've ever seen her like in real life outside of English class. And she had a mask on. Um, but no, that doesn't really matter because it's not important to this room. So I sit down or she sits down once she gets in my room. Um, I go get my laptop. I pull out my laptop looking up, uh,
00:02:25
Speaker
stuff for my paper, right? And she gets a call from her boyfriend. And her boyfriend is very upset. I don't know how he knew that she was in a guy's dorm, but he knew. And he, uh, he was very upset. And I was like, you know what, you should just leave. And she's like, are you sure? I don't have to. And I'm like, yeah, you can just, just get, um, it's just, you can just leave. So I, I, I, after she leaves, I text her and I'm like, El Mayo and
00:02:54
Speaker
Um, the response is what the fuck is so funny?
Boyfriend's Texas Call
00:02:58
Speaker
And I'm like, wow, that's really drastic change. We're laughing when you left. And it's like, this is, this is your boyfriend. And I'm like, Oh, that's not toxic at all. I didn't say that. I'm like, bro, can you, no, no, it gets worse. It gets worse. So, um, uh, I'm like, bro, can you, can you patch her in? You know, I, I really just need help on my paper.
00:03:25
Speaker
like I actually like I don't I don't care about the girl I just need paper help please and he's like no you and I go on a snap maps and
00:03:37
Speaker
Apparently, it's not like he took his her phone and was looking at it. He lives in Texas. Oh, what? It was in, uh, Wicca, uh, Falls, Wichita Falls or whatever. And I'm like, uh, where's Wichita Falls? I've never been there to get in Texas. I was like, Oh, I used to live in Texas. Is weather nice this time of year? I'm just like trolling the guy. Like I'm just.
00:04:00
Speaker
just joking. But the guy's actually responding. Like he's having a conversation. He was like, Oh, well, it's really pretty in Arizona. And he's like, Yeah, I bet. What do you do for a living? He's like, I'm in the military. And I'm like, Oh, so you must be in the Air Force, right? Because you're by Sherman Air Force Base. And he was like, Yeah,
00:04:22
Speaker
I was like, oh, what do you do? I'm a fueling systems technician. Like, he's not even, he's not, he said military, like he's fighting on the front lines. But like, no, he refills planes. And my direct response to that when he said that was, oh yeah, I know how to put gas in my car too. Oh.
00:05:00
Speaker
Yeah So it gets better. Oh, oh there's more the story doesn't end Yeah, so we keep talking and then he just breaks down.
Military Humor
00:05:10
Speaker
He starts telling me everything and he's like, bro I just can't trust anybody because she cheated on me and like, you know, I can't deal with this anymore. I
00:05:18
Speaker
And, you know, I'm not innocent either. Cause I, I cheated on her too, but I fixed my, my problems and, but I can't have her like, I can't deal with her. Um, so apparently she, uh, has cheated multiple times, I guess. And so, yeah, he's upset about that. And.
00:05:42
Speaker
He's like breaking down. He's like, I'm sorry. Like I don't mean to sound like a post but I'm crying right now Like I'm so sorry, bro. Can I do you know Jesus? Can I pray for you? Yeah, and then okay another funny line he said later was he was like, you know, I'm out here in the military on the front line serving my country and I'm doing this for her and oh when when when she said
00:06:12
Speaker
When he said both of them cheated on
Classroom Awkwardness
00:06:14
Speaker
each other, I was like, then why'd you guys stay together? And he's like, because I love her. And I couldn't imagine. Like, just be honest with yourself. No, the thing is right. He has the same job as a gas man in Mexico, dude.
00:06:40
Speaker
I'm actually in a tank right now. Okay, just the receptions a little bad I mean technically bro at any gas man is serving their country if you think about it Like I thought I'm serving my Walmart and my Walmart working
00:06:55
Speaker
is in Arizona. So and my Arizona isn't my Arizona. My Arizona is not yours. And apparently she promised not to hang out with other guys alone. Yeah. Because he, he told her not to. You were about to be a home wrecker. He is smart play, smart play. Yeah. I mean, I was a home wrecker because I basically told I like rattered her out. And I was like,
00:07:22
Speaker
Even though you're a piece of shit and she's a piece of shit and you kind of guys deserve each other, you know? I gotta help a homie. No, no, that's just being a homie. A homewrecker is intentionally knowing that she's cheating and fucking there's some shit, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair enough. You are a- You did the right thing. So I, yeah, I told him what was up and he was like, I can't believe this shit. He's like, what the fuck, man? I'm like, wait, are you talking about me? And he was like, no, I'm talking about her. I'm tired of her shit.
00:07:51
Speaker
And I was like, man, it's okay. You don't have to, you don't have to worry about me. I ain't about to deal with this drama. I just want to get to A in English. Man, I just want a good paper and I still never got that help. Shit, women. And you know, it's really awkward if she sits right behind me in English class. So like, I'm going to try to be civil about it. You know, I hope she doesn't bring it up. You're really awkward. Um, yeah.
00:08:20
Speaker
women. Am I right? Honestly. They're quite an interesting breed. Nice. Nice. Yeah.
Podcast Introduction
00:08:53
Speaker
Good morning and welcome to the voice demand podcast Today's topic is about now. It's time to talk about our sponsor
00:09:02
Speaker
I'm kidding. I used to take it away. Oh, yeah. OK, so today, after a long time, after much viewer of your listener requests, we're doing hard to answer questions. Girthy, shlong, you know, no way. Why do you have to say that? You could have you could have made it like subtle, but no, I did not say that.
00:09:32
Speaker
You know, short questions or short things? Yeah, it's hard to answer questions. They just write in your face. Hang in that thing. You know, they're essay questions. Okay, speaking of essay questions, I hate essays.
00:09:49
Speaker
I have English class. I don't know why I have an English class. I'm still very confused why I'm
Asthma & COVID Experience
00:09:56
Speaker
taking it. I'm not even in, like my major isn't even near English. It's the farthest thing away from English. I went on this girl who enjoyed writing essays one time. I was like genuinely dumbfounded. She's like, Oh yeah, I love doing it in my free time. I was like,
00:10:15
Speaker
Huh? She like, she wrote about why weed is should be legal or something like that. I think she's a little behind. This is before the election. Oh, okay. Okay. I was like, uh, homie, I've been in my house the past two weeks. You think I'm out doing stuff? You're just at home smoking weed.
00:10:36
Speaker
All right. All right. No, no, no, no, no. Let's, let's process it. Let's process it. I, cause I knew this was actually going to happen, right? This is like premeditated, right? I used. All right. All right. Listen to me. Right. Okay. What like, what, uh, how do I put that? I don't remember how I said it earlier. I have this thing, right? And it lets me not breathe very well. What is that called again?
00:11:07
Speaker
So I have this thing called asthma, right? And like I just said, it doesn't, I had bronchitis last year. Anyways, I have this thing called asthma, which like doesn't, it doesn't let me breathe very well. Right. And so I did like a
Unmarked Package Fears
00:11:25
Speaker
lot of like stuff to make it so I could breathe as good as I possibly could for like soccer and football and stuff like that.
00:11:32
Speaker
And then, and then I got this, like, what does COVID do to your body? Aish, what does it do to your body? If it runs, Aish is what it does, right? So, okay. This guy, right? Who like has asthma, right? And has COVID, right? And has literally spoken about the fact that he has to go every five minutes to make sure he's breathing. Right? Right. Uh, yeah. Okay. I'm following along too.
00:12:02
Speaker
Yeah. Do you think I've been smoking weed in these past two weeks? Well, you're smoking weed before, and you had asthma before. Well, you did last time we recorded for the podcast. Actually, no, that was after the podcast. My point is... Yeah, when Connor told you to. Oh, no, I didn't.
00:12:35
Speaker
You wanted to yeah, so let's uh, let's get back on track here. All right I don't even remember what you're talking about. We're talking about hard to answer questions Before we get into the topic I want I want to share a story that has rattled my day and
00:12:54
Speaker
Actually, I'm over exaggerating this. Okay, so this morning at around six o'clock in the morning, a mysterious package came at my front door. Now, okay, there's a couple rules in my house for packages, okay? Amazon does a good job because there's a huge Amazon logo on it, okay? So, you know, usually you're like, oh, okay, you know, okay, you remember what you ordered.
00:13:19
Speaker
So you're like, okay, Amazon, they sent me the thing. So I, I opened the door and I don't see any like labeling on it. There's no shipping thingy. There's no, okay. I just literally what I thought. I'm not gonna lie. No way. He was receiving the package. It's an unmarked box. It's like rough. It's like roughed up. Like the cardboard is not like pristine.
00:13:49
Speaker
like from a company, but like, it's like been kicked around by UPS or something and there's no label on it that duct tape is peeling off. And you know what the worst part is? It has string tied on. He said, with love, John Kaczynski. No, that would have reassured me a bit more, but it didn't. It just, it had loose tape and it was tied with string. So I, yeah, yeah. Oh man.
00:14:18
Speaker
Yeah, it's a parcel. We're
Bro Code: Urinal Etiquette
00:14:21
Speaker
moving across the pond here. It's a parcel. Did people say parcel in the US of America? They didn't? Yeah, they did. I heard it in the UK. Never mind. So I'm like, I wanted my dad. I'm like, there's a weird package outside. And he opens the door, and he slams it shut. And he says, walk away. And we walk outside the house, and he gets like a broom.
00:14:47
Speaker
And he he opens the door again and he starts pushing it away with the broom. So like the broom is like maybe six feet away. So he's socially distancing the box away, right? Pushes it all the way to the driveway and then he sprints back in the house. So my if you know where my house, my room is, which I think the only person here is Connor. It's literally facing the outside of the house. So. OK, so you're directly facing. Yeah, I'm like that. Let's say it is a bomb.
00:15:14
Speaker
Right, not to be negative, but let's say it is. I'm going to be directing that. And I have a class to go to. I have an online class to go to. And he's like, okay, so just, you know, take it. Excuse me? What? So the entire time I'm in my class, I'm just looking outside the window. I am not paying attention to the class.
00:15:36
Speaker
I'm looking outside making sure if it's like a time release, time release, or is it like a movement something? I don't know, right? And then like two hours goes by, it's almost lunchtime. I'm like, okay, whatever. I'm just gonna go open it, okay? I lived a happy life. I met people. You're like, if I die, I die. I was like. I mean, yeah. So I moved away from my room, so at least if it does, at least my possessions will be safe.
00:16:04
Speaker
I was thinking of running a will like right before I opened it just in case like they gave it away to some people but I was like whatever they don't deserve it so I went ahead took a knife and I cut it and you should see the people in my neighborhood like watching me open this box they were looking at me as if I'm insane and then they slowly realized why I'm insane because they're like this it has string and stuff around they're like oh and they started like running away so I'm opening it up
00:16:31
Speaker
From like the corner of my eye and like these people are just like, oh, okay. Okay. He's he's doing some So I open up Prejudice I open it up. I took the string off and I'm like, I'm like doing it like cutting It's like a box. It's a box of incense. The only incense is
00:16:57
Speaker
yes yeah yeah yeah my brother and a sister do the thing okay yeah they they sent me a brother and a sister doing the thing a box no they sent me like those the sticks with like the coating on it that makes it smell good when you lit it light on fire it's like it's like smoking but for religious people right so okay my my relatives no you don't
00:17:25
Speaker
So a candle for religious people? How is it different? Explain to me how it's different. Okay, it's like a wood stick and it has like a coating on it that has different flavors.
00:17:36
Speaker
And like there's different scents and stuff and you light it on fire It produces a smoke that has a smell a candles. It's wax. This one has like a weird. Yeah, right right now as best as there's a wick, right? There's a wick in the middle. There's not a wick and no in the middle of a candle, right? And yeah No, it's an oil. It's oils as opposed to yeah It just smells really good
00:18:05
Speaker
So why did you get into this instance? Like a bunch of them. It's like at least like a thousand. From ASU because you're a culturally downer jig guy. Yeah, I got some. Listen man. Right. I can't process things. In English? I can't English. I can't. In English. Alright, let's get to the questions.
00:18:31
Speaker
We haven't done this in a while. All right, the first one. I think this is one that, I don't know, I'll ask it. What are some unwritten bro code rules that you have used slash we use? Or we have used? See, socks on? All the bro code rules are written. Yeah, that's why there is the bro code.
00:18:58
Speaker
I mean okay so the one the most common one that comes to mind that's unwritten really like it's talked about but it's on it's it's just a a rule is that you have to space yourself one year and all oh yeah that is yeah that's a definite rule you got you got to be one you and the other person right here you're gay
00:19:25
Speaker
Okay, put that pride flag around yourself and leave. You're gay. Why would you do that? You are in pee pee distance of each other. You can literally- Oh, are you gone? You're okay. The thing is- Gay viewers are getting really upset with that. They have that plastic barrier, which does absolutely nothing. I just want to say that. But before, you could peer over the urine. It's not like it's super tall, right?
00:19:51
Speaker
You have like six of the adult ones and that's like a baby one, right? The baby ones, you've already lost the battle, okay? You might as well just walk around naked, okay? I don't know why that's there. For the other ones.
00:20:03
Speaker
Okay. For the rest of them, you have to space because you're both in splash range and in vision range. So both the guy can look at it and you'll be in the crotch area, right? You know, it's open. You have to reveal, relieve yourself. You can't do it in your pants. That's just messed up.
00:20:23
Speaker
Space yourself, or use a stall. A stall has walls, okay? Walls work by not showing your crotch to other people, okay? Have some manners, men. This is our read, ignited advice to men section, okay? Use a stall or space yourself. Why do we have to talk about this if it's like an unsaid thing, Ayush?
00:20:51
Speaker
It's unwritten, but it's not unsaid. Unwritten, but whatever, yeah. If a guy, if, like I say, I'm at the urinals first and a guy comes next to me, I will move. Like I will, either I'll move or I'll push him away or tell him, you will push him away with both of you. Both of you are being like, alright, you're just gonna like-
00:21:10
Speaker
Yeah, you both have your dick. Right, they're both whipped out, right? You're just gonna look at this man's dad in the eyes and just shove him to the next urinal with both of your hands and just be like, I'm walking here, man. I'm pissing here. I'm busy. Yes, I would. No, you're not gonna do that. No, Cap. There's no way. Yeah, you're right. I probably wouldn't do that. I will tell him politely. I will turn my head, not my entire body. I'll turn my head.
00:21:39
Speaker
Yes, not anywhere. Look directly at him. At his face and tell him, scoot over, bro. Oi, bro. Oi, bro. Orange chicken. And I couldn't taste it. It was so sad. Orange chicken is not supposed to be spicy. No, I know. I know. I know. But I'm saying is I hate orange chicken. I couldn't taste it. I was like, guys, this is awful. I can't taste orange chicken. Right. And my dad was like, you can't taste? I was like, no, I can't. He was like privy, whips out the hot sauce that he has. Right. And my dad, like my dad's
00:22:09
Speaker
like Mexican. He's Mexican. Yeah. And he like he likes the hot stuff. Right. Or is it jackass donkey with the kick in the dude and what? X X X.
00:22:24
Speaker
Oh, okay. Yeah, but no, he whips that stuff out. He pours it on my finger. I eat it. And I was just like, it's just hot. And he looked at me and he was like, I can't believe this. So I got COVID tested. And that's how we figured out. Nice. So it was due to my hatred of spicy food. Yeah. Yeah.
00:22:45
Speaker
Shout out to those ghost pepper chips. I'm not gonna lie, those are some damn good chips. Who made me eat one? Who like convinced me to eat one of the ghost peppers? I think it was E for him. I'm not gonna lie, I don't know. I just remembered that the bag was being passed around and Stripperboy was asleep and that went straight to his mouth. Stripperboy? Yes. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:23:11
Speaker
Think about it. Give him a second, he'll figure it out. He's not actually a stripper, he's just like stripping into the house. This makes perfect sense. Bless whoever brought onion rings that day though, because apparently onion rings make you
00:23:39
Speaker
experience spiciness less. I didn't know that. I'm not too sure about that, but I don't remember. A couple of us made it. Onions make you cry. And then we couldn't. When you cry, OK, hear me out, hear me out. Here's my act of theory. Onions make you cry, right? When you cry, your nose gets runny. When your nose gets runny, you can't taste as well.
Car Stereotypes
00:24:05
Speaker
Boom. That is so intelligent.
00:24:10
Speaker
We went off topic, didn't we? I don't even remember what the topic was. Honestly, yeah, hold on. We had a question, right? Yeah. Oh, good. They brought the thing from a hot, like... Oh, no. We have a problem. We have a problem. This is why our description should still be ADHD personified. No, that is not... That is... I don't think... Is anyone here, like, diagnosed with ADHD?
00:24:38
Speaker
i think we should do it because it's not i don't think we can use that as it's not self-diagnosed if i got diagnosed i've actually my child and now he's autistic okay we gotta cut that
00:25:02
Speaker
My mom she got the vaccine the other day and I'm knocking the amount of Karen's that were in their stupid Honda civics driving around going Well, that's not how it works. Why do they have to be in Honda Civic? My dad drives a Honda Civic. Well, that's I I saw But there was a bunch of Karen's upon the civics I
00:25:25
Speaker
They're the cool car and don't say anything. If you have to buy any Japanese car then I guess a Honda Civic's alright. Honda is not bad for a Japanese car. That's what matters. If Jesus was a car he'd be a Mitsubishi.
00:25:50
Speaker
That's, what? That's insulting. How? Because Mitsubishi's just killed themselves after like the first 50,000 miles. And then he asked to be hung? No, hung. Okay, okay. Wow. That would be completely different day. And on the third day after his beheading and hanging. Hold up, hold up.
00:26:20
Speaker
This is the Indian really flexing his knowledge right now. I thought he was joking. I thought he had a general gist, but I guess not. I guess you're just that numb.
00:26:38
Speaker
Sorry, I didn't Ganesh do something or something. Okay, it's different Okay, I at least learned about Jesus in school. Okay, he did not I give him some bit of slack I Read the button. I didn't read the bell. I'm sorry. I didn't read the button. It was it's too boring. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Yes in class it was extremely boring in in class I
00:27:03
Speaker
Oh yeah, the Old Testament is really boring. It is. I don't know, it's just tradition. We woke up at 7 o'clock in the morning. Not gonna lie, the church that I went to... I'm with you Connor, right?
00:27:24
Speaker
Bro, that was not bad experience. I like that. Noah, I was sat right next to you, homie. Oh, yeah. I can't remember time. Yeah. Never. Bro, it's going to be a one year anniversary of COVID. Actually, no.
00:27:46
Speaker
when you're like it was in november oh since since like since it stuck its yeah okay um again um stuck its what what what what are you saying what are you doing you know i'm i'm not i'm not here i'm not here um anyways uh bro code rules uh yeah um i don't know is bros before hoes is that is there a bro code rule
00:28:17
Speaker
What do you think? It has bros in the name, bro. There's a lot that has bros in the name of it. Super Mario bros. Wow. Yes. Super Smash Bros.
00:28:39
Speaker
Yeah, I mean it's a lot of stuff that has bros in it so they don't all have to do with the bro code unless I Wonder if you know, never mind. Let's move to the next question What's invisible but you wish people could see
00:29:18
Speaker
You know what I was going to say. I read the question. I immediately knew what someone was going to say. All right. That people can see? What is in the wind? That would be really cool. Yeah, the wind. That's a problem.
00:29:43
Speaker
Wait, wait, no, wait, no, wait. Can you see me? I can zone down Fleet Leaf for a second. No, yeah, you shouldn't be able to see me. I'm sorry. Don't worry. He has a new deal. I thought you said I couldn't see the wind, but then I realized that you didn't. He has RTX on. He's got shaders on. Yeah, RTX is off for me. No, I'm running at maximum efficiency. Yeah.
00:30:13
Speaker
Low graphic settings. Oof. That's only 30 FPS. 720p. I was going to say tardy grades. I feel like those would be really cool. Well, they're just small. Well, I mean, I don't know what the same item is.
Santa in Summer
00:30:33
Speaker
Are they saying, like, by the naked eye, or are they just saying, like, in general, invisible?
00:30:41
Speaker
Uh, I would say like, yeah, I think, I think invisible as in non, not showing up to the eye or the unaided or aided eye. So like gravity, gravity would be cool. Right. It's just a dude pulling you down. Honestly, if it wasn't invisible, then you'd be able to see it.
00:31:09
Speaker
I would say it would be some sort of line or it's like the hook from Spongebob where you put your mouth around the hook and it goes whee! Yeah, it's like the hook harnesses in Australia to keep them on. I feel bad for going to Australia. You're just always upside down. Everything is Santa's not Santa.
00:31:39
Speaker
like he wears like I don't know because isn't summer like they have a summer Christmas there so Santa is just in like a tank top and like swimming shorts drinking like a pina colada no he he would definitely if Santa was wearing summer clothes he would be wearing khaki shorts yes and a hawaiian shirt
00:32:06
Speaker
tastefully buttoned so that you can find a little bit of his chest. I wonder if he goes there first, because then he has to put his clothes back on. He is pretty crazy over here. I mean, you can always layer up. Facts. Hard to layer down. Yeah. That was crazy. All right.
Desired History Book One-Liner
00:32:44
Speaker
You have a chance to be in a history of book, but you only get one sentence. What does your one sentence say? Despite making up 13%. Did you know that 70% of all men were
00:33:07
Speaker
car insurance if you choose Geico. I actually wonder if that's true. Does anyone here have Geico? I want to know if that's true. I do not have Geico. Same. Okay, okay. I don't have Geico either. Liberty Mutual. They got some, they got some good ads recently. I'm not gonna lie. Liberty Mutual. The guy in the ostrich, that's actually not that bad. I like that ad. Oh yeah. I don't like those ones as much as the
00:33:37
Speaker
I like them better than the older, the one where they're right in front of the Statue of Liberty. The old ones are really good, the new ones aren't as good.
00:33:58
Speaker
ones of that version of the commercial. It's not as good as the emu. The same goes with Geico. They've lost the quality of their ads. They used to have some pretty good ads. That was just weird things. Like they had one with
00:34:16
Speaker
I feel like Old Spice has really affected... There was a point where Old Spice had some crazy ads and they were really good. It's like they went and got a cinema dude and it's like, okay, we're gonna make this ad be as totally unrealistic as possible to advertise a weird gel stick that you rub under your arm.
Old Spice Ads
00:34:40
Speaker
And they're like, gotcha. And they do this crazy thing where this guy's doing stuff.
00:34:48
Speaker
You know who else had a good, who has good commercials? Johnsonville sausages. You know that commercial where it's like Mad Max and everyone's on the highway? Cause they, uh, they left the sausages on the grill. Oh, you'll have to look at that commercial. It's really funny. Um, but if I was to have something in my history book, it would say, despite knowing
00:35:17
Speaker
that cows are actually no no no no oh shoot what's that all right all right i like it i like and that's what i'm saying different new i like it i like it snakes that's nice it's fresh um i feel like this is just
00:35:46
Speaker
What's your senior quote? Except not really. Your senior quote is now in history. It is officially in the books. That wasn't my senior quote. When people are reading through it, they're like, oh, 9-11. Oh, this guy, he wrote the master comic book. What? He did a few things. Not the same guy. I was like, it's the same guy. I'm saying you flip the page, like one page.
00:36:11
Speaker
Wait a second. Hold up. Noah Garretson, 9-11. It's all coming together. Great Scott. Oh my God. Yeah. Back to the future is a good one. That was an interesting one. I'm not sure why I made it. Back to the future was good. I have actually never watched. OK. You've never watched Back to the Future? OK, we're actually adding that to the list.
00:36:41
Speaker
You know, why would you the first one? That's the feature. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess what I watched recently, boys. Wait, you watched Black Rango. Black Rango. Excuse me. No, no, no. I when I. So I was watching it with my roommate and he left a couple of times. And so every time he left. Oh, OK. No, no. OK. I like Rango. I like Rango. I mean, Django.
00:37:09
Speaker
jangle unchained is unchained it is a good movie yeah bro it's such a good movie i'm like really tempted to watch pulp fiction again that's a good movie um yeah bro i when i watched pro fiction for the first time i was totally invested into why suit thing and then i was such a big plot point
Tarantino Film Discomfort
00:37:35
Speaker
I mean, I was... That is every Tarantino movie. It was just uncomfortable. It's like the dojo scene from Kill Bill. Like, okay, sure, people's heads get chopped up. You see the entire thing and... Well, okay. Okay, but that's different. That's different. You don't see somebody getting a big bulky dude who should be able to protect himself from getting raped.
00:38:04
Speaker
Like, it's just uncomfortable. I agree, fine. Yeah, we're... Oh, we are. Yes, spoilers. Yeah, for spoilers, right? Yeah, I know. Yeah, the movie's like 40 years old, whatever. Yeah, for spoilers. Oh, you know what I watched recently? I watched Wolf of Wall Street. That is such a good movie. It is so underrated in such a good movie. I've seen parts of it.
00:38:32
Speaker
It's so, you gotta watch it. Like, I've also seen parts of it.
00:38:38
Speaker
the most important question was any of this you know absolutely not yeah like like connor said i i've seen parts and i'm like it's not bad but you know what's the entire thing it's it's like so well-made like i got you this parts where you feel bad for even though he's scamming like millions of people and you know that it's not right you feel bad for the guy cuz he's being like hunted down even though it started off as a pretty innocent thing like it started off as something that
Wolf of Wall Street Reflection
00:39:06
Speaker
is borderline illegal and borderline legal. You know what I mean? Like it's just, it's just penny stocks. I mean, they, they still do those. Not in the same way, but I mean, like you kind of feel bad for the guy. And now he's just teaching people how to do that. But legally, honestly, yeah, he, he went full circle.
00:39:34
Speaker
Yeah, and like I was watching an interview with the actual guy like the actual like what's in Jordan Belford? The guy's the guy he was portraying and the guy's actually like a decent person now like he went to jail and stuff But now he's actually trying to help the people he scammed like he speak he started like a whole Thing where they can go in and write a report or something and he'll actually go through the process It's pretty nice
00:40:03
Speaker
he's a changed person you don't see that usually that is pretty nice um we got off topic again uh what are we talking about history books yeah that's what we're talking about um what would you put in the history book um yeah that yep
00:40:31
Speaker
I'm not going to do that! I'm going to do something for you!
00:41:01
Speaker
What are you saying, bro? No way, no way, never mind. Bro, oi, bro, what you saying, fam? Brof. Oi, brof. You know, like I said, decent people. We are a... Not what I said.
00:41:32
Speaker
Oh no. My kind of hurts too. Oh, my nose hurts. What the heck? Well, that's not good. Symptom of COVID. You got it, Noah. Oh, no. Because I don't talk to people. Nice. Here's the difference. Right. I'm anti-social. If I had a sentence, I'll
Senior Yearbook Quotes
00:41:57
Speaker
just put it. What? The best step effect I know.
00:42:00
Speaker
Oh, oh, yeah. I would put animals that don't have belly buttons. I mean, yeah. It has to be serious. That's going to change the lives of people who are reading it in the history of books. I want people to remember me, but at the same time, I want to leave them with something like. Yeah.
00:42:31
Speaker
I mean, that's why I got to leave your mark. I liked my quote, my senior quote, which was, you know, master of ways age old saying yesterday is history tomorrow is tomorrow's a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why it is called the president. Yeah. Nice. That's why it's called the president. I think my senior yearbook quote was pretty memorable too. I now know that is, uh, that the,
00:43:00
Speaker
Circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant is what one does with life that is important. Despite where, no matter where you grew up, no matter how your life began, you can make important decisions if you make, if you choose. That's deep. That's deep. That's deep. That's good.
00:43:30
Speaker
You know? Yeah. You can do a thing if you choose to do it. Bro, if you could do a thing. Nice. All right. Moving on. What are the unwritten rules of where you work?
00:43:59
Speaker
or worked wash your hands don't play with the knives because there aren't there shouldn't be any knives here at the old navy oh yeah I work at Einstein so
Workplace Unwritten Rules
00:44:27
Speaker
One of the, I guess you could call it, unwritten rules, but it's interesting. It's just good life advice too, but don't have sex with the bagels. Come on! Excuse me? Are you? Did they say that? Hey, you found that out first day. That's a hard way. Oh my god. That's hilarious.
00:44:56
Speaker
people said this is where we keep the bagels he's just like we keep the bagels whatever you do honestly Connor what are you doing with the bagel they're like you can take some you can take some home relax you're nervous
00:45:16
Speaker
I want I'd literally be the ones you to give like it just give someone a bagel and say I made the hole It's like a hole punch
00:46:05
Speaker
I'm having a stroke. Oh, okay.
00:46:13
Speaker
man and and you're not even you're not even gone you're here you're present oh my god we're out of our minds you know what i'm saying that was what am i was gone no that was a very that was a very specific statement no hell yeah i would be very sad i promise i would be missing my friend jaco
00:46:44
Speaker
okay uh... report uh... announcement and roll at my old uh... place of work well okay at at uh... acted this test string in place there's a really weird rule which is don't touch the candles so are are no is a candle desert candles so uh...
00:47:08
Speaker
Exactly. So the owner, he's Lebanese. And in Lebanon, apparently they make like these... No. No. They make like... Yeah. Oh, you're thinking of lesbian. Oh, no. The country, Connor. The country.
00:47:32
Speaker
Apparently they'd make hand-crafted candles there. And in the past, people would apparently do stuff to the candles. What the? What do you mean by that?
00:47:47
Speaker
like they would blow it out or they would like you should do stuff so i mean i i expected the word what else would you do with a candle you're not going to stick with a candle i assume that's gonna hurt like wick wick first wick first i mean wax play is a real thing oh my god oh what what don't go on wick first the latest chapter
00:48:17
Speaker
You took his dog, so he
Walmart Employee Comments
00:48:19
Speaker
took your candles. The unspoken rule at my job is actually do your job because you'd be surprised by how many people don't actually do their job. I'm not gonna lie, Walmart's got some pretty bad employee beneficiaries. Like half of them just kind of stand around and talk to each other. Yeah. It's my job that does most of the like actually has to do work. It kind of sucks. I feel like Jacob just sits there.
00:48:53
Speaker
Lgbtq what like mochi shop for you and there's an emoji to limit your stuff outside. Oh, yeah
00:49:02
Speaker
Those people are always grumpy. Why don't you just go inside and do what you're saying? I'm just tired. I can tell you that right now. They're just exhausted. Why are you lazy? Because you see them when you're going to lunch and stuff, and when they're walking out, they're always fast walking. Not jogging, where you're jumping around and stuff like that, but you know that fast walk where you're shoving your... Clenching your butt really quickly.
00:49:30
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know how you run, but that's not how I run. That's not how I run. Like a fast walk, you know? I think it's speed walking. Power walking? Yeah. Okay. Anyways, they're always doing that and they're always like gassed. So once they actually show up, they're just like, hi, how are you? Like they're not mad, you know, they're just like, hi. Okay.
00:49:58
Speaker
Good to know. Wait, hold on. Are you supposed to tip those guys? Cause I never tipped them. No, you're not. They're not, they're not like bellhops or anything. Okay, good. You have? Yeah. I got paid. I got tipped. Hey, I tipped them. Yeah. Yeah. Come around back. I gotta show you. He said, get in the car.
00:50:29
Speaker
Okay, I'll tip you're real good 220s Yeah,
Ideal Weekend
00:50:41
Speaker
that was my take this I found like a Yeah, I found a like one so here's a dead
00:50:56
Speaker
I found a box of LaCroix, right? And I was like, Ooh, there's a LaCroix left in here, right? So I'm reaching my hand in the box, right? Before I actually grabbed, I just saw, I just saw a tail. It's like, what the heck is this? It was a straw.
00:51:30
Speaker
Yeah, sippy sippy We can go sip wrap sip all right Anyway What's the next hard answer question hard to answer whatever you know it work. We're not gonna talk. We're breaking fourth wall again well life
00:51:54
Speaker
We have been breaking the fourth wall all season. We do it all, ladies and gentlemen. Honestly, every single time. We'll just be having a conversation. Yeah, I'm always looking at the camera. Yeah, I always look at the camera. We're just having a normal conversation, and we just suddenly turn and look at the camera. Anyways, what would be your perfect weekend? Sex. All right, moving on.
00:52:25
Speaker
next question my perfect weekend oh man man man okay okay i write my will on a month open the box on a on a on a friday and then i is that a song that's a song right yeah i'm pretty sure i've heard it yeah yeah yeah i write my will on a friday
00:52:54
Speaker
And then on the next day, I write another will, but not including any of my family members. And then I write a third will, and then I'm not including anyone. And it just all goes to like random people who don't even know me. And then I mix up the wills. I fold them and I mix them up.
00:53:24
Speaker
And I pick one of them and I kill myself. And then on Sunday I perish mysteriously.
00:53:44
Speaker
people who they've met once to myself like i love it when people write wills yeah i love when people give each other no old people wouldn't give themselves candy grams they're like you know what no one's gonna give me a candy gram i'm gonna buy them shout out to the girls who bought candy grams no i wouldn't i wouldn't mind nice nice oh that's pretty pog
00:54:11
Speaker
I wouldn't say no to buying myself some of those dried pineapple. Dried pineapple? I'm more of a dried mango person. Yeah, I love dried pineapple. That's my midnight snack. Dried mango is good, too. Every time before I sleep, one dried mango. Dried mango is kind of like... Honestly, yeah, it's my cocaine. It's my cocaine. And you just drop dead. Actually, no, cocaine. One mango.
00:54:39
Speaker
uh what is it my zanax yeah it's my zanax i'm just out for the night cocaine's not your cocaine cocaine's not my cocaine oh i don't know about you but that's not my cocaine yeah i remember like eating it when we're doing house parties i remember eating them the make and it's like almost falling asleep like dropping dead
00:55:01
Speaker
Like we'd be doing nothing. We'd just be like on Instagram and I'm just like munching on my mango slice. Even if we weren't talking on house party, we just knew there were people with us. So it was just weird. Oh yeah. It makes you feel a lot less lonely. That's why I always have the TV on. So there's a noise. So I feel like somebody's there and my, in my, in my heart of hearts, I know I'm alone forever more.
00:55:28
Speaker
but um you should text that loner dude he'd be like your pen pal or something when you feel you're like i'm feeling lonely oh yeah of course i i don't know how i would get in contact with him because i don't know his name and yeah you have a relationship with him not her the girl you have priorities and that would
00:55:55
Speaker
Yeah, I'm cheating on your boyfriend with you. Wait, what? Hold on. But that wouldn't be cheating because I'm not doing her. Your boyfriend's cheating on you. Dude, that would be a plot twist. Guess what? Your boyfriend's cheating with me now. Thanks. I'll take that.
00:56:24
Speaker
bro if you give bruv if you send me a baja blast i will do unimaginable things i was gonna say that i was gonna say that happened we have a nice PG podcast here yeah it's very peachy you know what it is peachy reading books okay
00:56:53
Speaker
oh yeah yeah reading books yeah i got you i got you if if you haven't heard about it you're really missing out because it's honestly a great service that i love to use personally small actually small i like reading books and it's there you know
00:57:14
Speaker
They are, in fact, the leading provider of spoken word entertainment. Because they're audiobooks. They're not regular books. I don't actually have to read. I don't have to actually read. I can't read. I don't know how to. It's a lot easier, you know? And they have all kinds of audiobooks. Like, they've got bestsellers, celebrity memoirs.
00:57:37
Speaker
You can watch your BoJack Horseman audiobook on it. Uh, news, business, and self-development. It feels great. Just like we were talking about The Wolf of Wall Street, you could be just like him by reading articles like The Wall Street Journal, which is very much core of them. I'm pretty sure you can read that book.
00:58:07
Speaker
I'm pretty sure he wrote the book. That's what the movie is based off of. No, like The Wolf of Wall Street. He wrote that. It's a book. And you know, we can read that. Oh, that's cool.
Audible Ad Read
00:58:25
Speaker
The Bible. Jacob's mom has thousands of.
00:58:30
Speaker
Yeah, I was gonna say the rest of the sponsors out to the titles Podcasts guided wellness programs a list comedies and exclusive audible originals to choose from All of which can be downloaded and listened to offline via the free audible app Check out audible by clicking the link in the podcast description or by going to WWE What did you just say
00:59:03
Speaker
Stop talking. Okay, just shut up Go go go remember the Alamo go go go
00:59:21
Speaker
All of which can be downloaded and listened to offline via the free Audible app. Check out Audible by clicking the link in the podcast description or by going to www.audibletrial.com slash boys to men podcast to get a 30 day trial, which includes one credit or two if you're an Amazon prime member. Ding-a-ling. Thank you, Audible.
00:59:57
Speaker
anyways yeah that's that's what that's what you can do yeah yeah stop immediately no wait I don't think I don't think we
01:00:15
Speaker
stop jesus in the name of love before you break my wonder if jesus love anyone like was he was he ever made a gal they can he can ride that kind of love oh his ford bronco down the hills of kansas and just do stuff in that truck with people
01:00:42
Speaker
That's why I say no cuz trucks. Oh, no, they definitely were written down. Yeah, they weren't Kevin back then.
Perfect Weekend Discussion
01:00:50
Speaker
Yeah Honestly, yeah, it was a straight vodka like he didn't even do anything. He just grabbed the bottle and Putin did right down his throat I Don't think we answered the question of what would be your perfect weekend
01:01:12
Speaker
I think one person did. Oh yeah, and then Jacob just said sex. So after work, right, on a Friday, go out, probably watch some football with some friends and play some football. The next day, I would like to go on a trip with some friends, like on a day trip, like flag or something. That'd be pretty cool with the homies. Come back that night.
01:01:39
Speaker
Sex. Sex. Lots of sex. Homey. You know what I'm saying? A link along. Homey on homey action. You're the one who's implying sex now. So I'm just going along with what you're saying, right? Yeah. Yeah. You got guy on guy. Just link and log in. And then Sunday morning we wake up and go to church. Well, what else would there be?
01:02:15
Speaker
Yeah, we Lincoln logged all night long and then Jacob we went to trade the thing out of his hand I Think that gives you bonus points. I think yeah, I think we opened the extra level Jacob with that one. I Think there's like that secret hidden dungeon that you open by eating out of his hand. I
01:02:37
Speaker
Okay, now that I'm hearing what I just said, that's like you 90% of the time, so you just go like, what the frick did I just say? Like, what? Yeah, yeah, I'm realizing this. Okay. All right. Connor, what's your perfect weekend? This is a good question. Friday, hang out with Chloe. Saturday, hang out with Chloe. Sunday, hang out with Chloe.
01:03:14
Speaker
Sorry, a little, you know, he got a point. Oh, there was, there was no noise. I was going to say, you know, go on a road trip of sorts and hang out with friends and you know, an area together at maybe an Airbnb, perhaps.
01:03:44
Speaker
Oh, yeah, dude, I do that like every week with my best friend. Her name's Ruby. Yeah. Sorry. Platinum. Yeah. Sapphire. Maybe Omega Ruby. Yeah. Yeah.
01:04:09
Speaker
When you spend enough money, you unlock Alpha Sapphire in Omega Ruby. Yeah, yeah. Put that SD card in that slot. Never thought of it that way. So homies, when are we going out and getting an Airbnb then? I put you in my slot. Oh wait, I usually can't leave this house.
01:04:39
Speaker
I'll just like, face- you know what, you should just get that, get that sex doll and put like your camera, like your phone on the face. I don't know how the other thing is in mine. He's like, oh, the reception's getting bad, I'm gonna have to turn this off and do stuff with this doll. Oh, okay, bye. Sorry, I'll be back in an hour.
01:05:09
Speaker
I'll try again when there's reception. Yeah, my schedule's clear. All right. Yeah, that's nice.
01:05:52
Speaker
um... uh... what did what you guys do on your on your last vacation usually carrying this podcast right now honestly yeah
01:06:06
Speaker
We went away somewhere to vacation or like a break Honestly either one oh Yeah, I totally forgot that but yeah, you're right you're right I Went it should be DC for all of us unless you guys went so I guess Mexico
01:06:34
Speaker
I mean, I want to fly Jacob. It's on vacation. Bro, let's go to flag, dude. I want to- I did not go to flag this weekend. Let's go to flag. Let's go to flag. Well, let's go to flag. Who's going to drive it where I'll make out on the back seat?
01:07:00
Speaker
Just like
Tesla Autopilot Joke
01:07:15
Speaker
Well, we'll get a designated driver. Rent a Tesla. We'll get an Uber. We'll rent a driver. We'll get an Uber. Yeah, no, no, just rent a Tesla. Turn on autopilot. Right. And then just bang.
01:07:37
Speaker
Your mouths yeah And I use has reverted to mental disability form What?
Postmates Perks
01:07:54
Speaker
Haven't we all do I'm not kidding. I've lost my mind. We do bro. Y'all have So weird, but I've also find after two weeks I
01:08:05
Speaker
You're losing your, like, you've been in there for, like, nine months. You're probably like, when you've been here, you've been in the room. You know, Indian household. I think that's what he meant. Yeah, in that. Oh, yeah. The womb of life. The womb of life. The womb of life. The womb of life. My masters. Why are you telling me to be quiet? Thank you.
01:08:36
Speaker
How much food? Oh wait, it was for free for you, huh? Uh-huh. He got Taco Bell for free? He got Taco Bell for free because he did something with Postmates or something, I don't know. Dude, Postmates is overpowered. It really is. Honestly, they added a new map where you can paraglide into Taco Bell. That's pretty
01:09:02
Speaker
Tilted Taco Bell. I'd paraglide into a Taco Bell. Let's make that a thing. All right. All right. The Taco Bell. All right. We didn't answer the question. What the heck? Yeah, we did. We answered one of the perfect answers. No, it was still, what did you do on your last vacation? Oh. We have moved on to kind of.
01:09:29
Speaker
Wait, so we would consume my day trip to Flagstaff a vacation? No, no, no. I think we talked about the part where all three of you are in the back kissing. Oh, that's a plan vacation. That's a plan. I wonder how that works. Is it one guy and the other two are on it? Or is it the two laying down? I don't know. I'm sure we can consult some sort of video site to figure out how the best way to do that is.
01:10:01
Speaker
Yeah, so we can get back to kissing, you know? That's the most important thing. I feel like Connor is exact. Connor, are you mad at me? You seem too mad at me. Are you sure? When I called him out, I was just going like... I'm really upset.
01:10:27
Speaker
It's like, how dare you see? Course I am. Yeah, obviously. Yeah. Ooh. Are you eating the cup? Maybe. For a second. Yeah, it's looking on the hinges, Sean. The plastic seeps into the plastic. You can't resist.
01:10:55
Speaker
This is now ASMR. We've turned our podcast to an ASMR versus Jacob eating Taco Bell and us figuring out what he's eating.
Flagstaff Mukbang Plan
01:11:03
Speaker
Mukbang. Bro, we got... Bro, let's go to Flagstaff and do a mukbang. Both at the muk. 50% less muk. All the bang. 100% bang.
01:11:34
Speaker
Yup, yup, we're done, we're done.