Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Episode 20: Jacob Comes Out | Boys 2 Men
110 Plays3 years ago
In this somewhat holly and jolly episode, the boys talk about the great winter holiday...Christmas. They talk about their favorite Christmas traditions, foods, songs, etc. And of course, like usual, they do get off topic, but you're used to that by know...right? Also, Jacob is not gay. And Noah does not curse. FYI
Happy Holidays from the Boys 2 Men
We would like to personally thank the sponsor of todays episode: Audible
Check out Audible and use the link http://www.audibletrial.com/Boys2MenPodcast to get a 30 day trial including 1 credit(2 credits if you are an Amazon Prime Member).
If you put cookies for Santa then consider donating so that we can also:
https://venmo.com/code?user_id=3124550581616640837
---
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/boys2men/message
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/boys2men/support
Recommended
Transcript
Gingerbread Contest and Christmas Anticipation
00:00:00
Speaker
I just want to say real quick that at Jacob Svedegard's house, I won his gingerbread house contest and I won a $50 gift card. Just wanted to put that out there. That was you? Yes, it was me. Connor sounded so like... So you're the one who beat me?
00:00:21
Speaker
Yeah, what the heck? Outplayed, panting aggressively. So this was like, I don't want to say like maybe five years ago? It was when he was still an anthem. It was when he was still an anthem. Yeah, I agree. He's like, I remember to a date. Of course it was five years ago, imbecile. I still had a second prize thing. Yeah, I just want to say that. I'm not like, I don't really care about your neighborhood houses, but I won that. All right, go ahead.
00:01:29
Speaker
Boys to men podcast This is season it's your boy. What are we it's? What Mexican Santa two white Santas and a brown so it's a Christmas Christmas. Oh, we're talking about Chris. Yeah Christmas Christmas in four days. I I tasted like us What wait wait? Oh?
00:01:54
Speaker
We'll wait until... I'll wait until after day. I was going to answer your question. Okay, nevermind.
Cultural Takes on Christmas Traditions
00:02:00
Speaker
Yeah, we're talking about Christmas because it's in four days and one person here doesn't celebrate Christmas, but I like to feel like I'm a part of it. Like usually I go to Christmas parties and stuff because Christmas parties... Well, to you they're just parties. Yeah, to me they're just parties, but they are so like weird that
00:02:23
Speaker
you can call it a christmas party you know what i mean well i mean i could say we're an elephant in a temple is weird but you know we all got our little quick you know to ease their own yeah so would you would would it be against your religion uh no i've got there's so many christmas presents and i'm just like hey thanks i'm not giving you one return but thanks yeah it's against your religion to give but it's not to take
00:02:54
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, that's how Indians work. That's, I'm not kidding. That's exactly, that's exactly what it is. All taking no giving. I love it. It's great. Um, yeah, that's why I have white friends, Indian friends. It's just like this really weird stand, like Mexican standoff, Indian standoff.
00:03:21
Speaker
I've had really weird dreams where you three were just Indians. Yeah, I appreciate that You're internalizing our Yes in an alternate dimension. I think it's another way around. I'm just like I'm the only white guy here. I
00:03:39
Speaker
That would be so I'm going to make you white, I use just like that. Oh, white Obama. Oh my goodness gracious. Yeah. That'd be atrocious. Honestly. Yes. Stay black Obama.
00:03:54
Speaker
Yes, Obama, if you're looking at this podcast right now, please. We voice them and podcast implore and humbly ask if you can stay white.
Eggnog and Holiday Drinks Debate
00:04:05
Speaker
Please don't pull a Michael Jackson. No, no, stay black. Don't pull a Michael Jackson. Stay exaggeratedly swaggered. Yes, like dead. Enjoy your watermelon.
00:04:37
Speaker
There is no alcoholic eggnog people add alcohol yeah
00:04:45
Speaker
Yeah, with rum. Okay. Well, nowadays, nowadays in the present. Yeah, because it tastes good. It's actually my favorite drink. Really? Really? It's a close second to our Chata. I just like the nice thick drink. Cause it's like the closest thing you could have to a dessert as a drink. I feel. Yeah. Without it, without it being like two or Chata over the top, you know?
00:05:14
Speaker
Okay, so it's like milkshakes. Yes, we know I'm just saying like, if you want an alternative to eggnog, I'm just. It's not really an alternative. They're not, they're not really comparable. They're very different ones. Rice milk. Yeah. Really thin with a list with. Yeah. Yeah. It is sweet. You're right. Yep. And it has cinnamon. You know, that's really good. I'm not, I'm sick. I'm not seeing the problem. I'm not seeing the
00:05:42
Speaker
eggnog is thick, kind of tastes almost like a milkshake. It is the epitome of- I thought you said seasoned drinks. Season, I mean, I guess it was seasoned drinks. I'm pretty sure I was like nutmeg and- Yeah. Yeah, I had eggnog once and it was really weird, but I just kept drinking it. You know what I mean?
00:06:10
Speaker
You know I Mean like I don't know not to think about I don't know if I was just me trying to fit in or if I was just like I should try to like this Come on brown boy drink the egg. What is it? What is this? What is white substance? Yeah, it's a white man. Yeah, I'm more of a chocolate milk man. I mean I
00:06:35
Speaker
Yeah, I can't really imagine People that aren't way drinking it. Honestly. No, no like I guess it is a way it's like it's like pumpkin No man drinks that at all. I would never drink pumpkin spice Jacob. It's good. It's really good Yeah, it's pretty good I don't understand why it's such a big deal people are like I
00:07:01
Speaker
Oh my god! It's that time of season! Pumpkin Spice! It's better hard than it is cold. Then they slaughter a tiny cow in the future. He's pretty used to that. Oh wait, no he's not. No he's not. He doesn't kill the cows. What does that do with Pumpkin Spice? I don't know. That's what Connor was saying. I don't know. I just feel like it's overhyped. It's like Supreme. It's a hollow thing inside.
00:07:28
Speaker
with all show and no give, like Indians. Like you on Christmas. All show and no give.
Weather Preferences and Living Arrangements
00:07:43
Speaker
Yes, eggnog. Eggnog, very good. Around Christmas time, I really like to
00:07:54
Speaker
They like to go outside and you know, it's not really that cold because if they're going to say like today was actually pretty warm. You get that air, you know, that like a little breeze and you just go, ah, like it's, it's the holiday season, you know? Yeah. I, I kind of feel. Cause like our, our cold is like 55 degrees. Yeah. It's jacketable weather. It is jacket and hoodie wedding. And I love jacketable weather. I love.
00:08:25
Speaker
Yeah, I love the ability to wear long sleeve clothes. I love being hugged. What? I almost wish I lived in a place where I could wear long sleeves year round, but at the same time, I don't want to live in a cold place. You know, it's that... Yeah, that's Arizona for you. I want to wear long sleeves. Just move up north, honestly. Exactly. Well, see, then... Well, no, not as far up north. You know what I'm saying?
00:08:55
Speaker
Well, north of Arizona is Nevada. No, I meant Las Vegas. Like, let's go to north Arizona. Yeah, like Prescott area. In Prescott? Yeah, that's cold. That's officially cold. Honestly though, if Flagstaff wasn't so expensive, I would totally live there. Who goes to NAU that we know? Don't name them, but like, we know. Don't name them but mention them in a way. We know a lot of people. No, yeah, mention them in the most obscure way possible.
00:09:25
Speaker
Yeah, shout out to all the people that watch this podcast. Oh, yeah. Wait, what? Yeah. Oh, I do. I vaguely remember this. Oh, yeah. Yes. I might live with him soon. So you might. Why? Why are you going to live with him? All right. Apartment. Yeah. But, uh, well, why? Because apartment.
00:09:53
Speaker
Yeah. OK, fine. Anyway, it's time for hot beverages. You guys ever? I said it's it's the season of hot beverages. Hot beverages? I mean, there's there's some there's some crazy people outside people who drink cold beverages in the winter. And I commend your bravery. Absolutely. How dare you drink cold beverages? Brave but foolish, my friend. Disgusting.
00:10:24
Speaker
I mean, it's, it's, it's all about, I honestly don't get it. It's so counterintuitive. Like, Oh, you're cold. Oh, let me give you a nice ice Frappuccino. You know what I mean? Let me give you some ice while you freeze. Freeze inside and outside. Yeah. They're trying to find true equilibrium. Oh yeah.
Holiday Travel and Relationships
00:10:45
Speaker
Yeah. That's balanced. Perfectly balanced.
00:10:56
Speaker
You guys ever go to up to Flagstaff like oh, yeah and like snowboarders I've done that a couple times I did it. I went to like one of those lodges in Flagstaff where they have like What's the things called I don't think that you like sit in no
00:11:15
Speaker
You're like, yeah, it's ski lifting, but there's no skiing. It's just like that. And you just kind of go over. It's like skiing plays, but there's no skiing, you know? Yeah. Flagstaff is in our skiing place. Flagstaff is just like a place for white girls to take pictures. I usually woke up and chose violence. He's just been dissing white girls all day long.
00:11:45
Speaker
He chose. Yeah. I'm not wrong. Okay. Okay. I heard a Taco Bell. Okay. I went to Taco Bell yesterday. Yes, I did. What? Oh, I was talking to Devin. Sorry. I went to Taco Bell with Josiah yesterday and he deep-throated a burrito in front of me.
00:12:15
Speaker
Okay, yeah, I hope he's doing well Anyways holidays did not the time for you to deep those things unless that's just Cuffing sweet home Alabama hey if y'all don't have a new GF by a
00:12:43
Speaker
By the end of December, is it even coming soon? A new? Yeah, you've got to collect them all. Oh. Oh. Dad, guess what, the doctor? Sorry, girlfriend. As you can see, I'm clearly not cuffed, so that has to change. So therefore, I'm breaking up with you. Yeah. By the end of December.
00:13:16
Speaker
All right, best 100% no problem easy easy.
White-Collar vs Blue-Collar Work Discussion
00:13:22
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah No problem at all. I expect a man of your class to Wait, wait, wait, wait I meant it like like a classy individual, but then somebody had a laugh like I'm saying like Down with the bourgeoisie blue collar
00:13:49
Speaker
yeah the blue collar worker must cough up yes it's not white collar yeah definitely not well no but actually yes i mean yeah i don't really think you can class by part time i don't think anyone of our age but you're definitely not making more than yeah i don't think any of anyone in our age group can be considered a white or white collar worker
00:14:16
Speaker
white i'm gonna say i'm in white work white color what does white color mean white worker not manual work it just means basically yeah corporate i mean corporate all all yeah i'm gonna be honest labor right because
00:14:39
Speaker
Being the CEO of a company is not, you know,
Christmas Shopping and Holiday Deals
00:14:42
Speaker
labor intensive. I mean, it depends on what you do. I think it just takes no effort. Yeah. He means, okay. Yeah. He means physical labor. All white collar workers, because they're just like desk workers. They don't really do anything that requires any handyman. I guess blue collars are
00:15:03
Speaker
Hard labor. I mean, I mean I'm not hard labor. I'm more like hard labor a soft labor So That I was on before this We were talking we saw this tick-tock right where it like it was this girl asking like how guys laid down with their extra body part and
00:15:34
Speaker
And the female that I was on FaceTime with was genuinely concerned as to how we do it. Like she thought that it... She... Well, you simply crush... The small sacrifice we take while laying down... I don't know if she's joking or not, but she made it seem like she genuinely thought that it retracts. You got your sense of truth, right? Yeah, yeah, that's exactly right.
00:16:05
Speaker
You know, you put it in the brine, the brine jar for... Mine's like one of those pop and lock things. So like, I bend it over, you know, grab it behind the teeth, suck it and pull it out easily. Mine's... Oh yeah, I have to move the bottle so I can push it in and push it out. No, yeah, so... Mine's got my nerves under them. You said you thought it retracts into the body. So like it folded inwards. What? That hurts just thinking about it.
00:16:34
Speaker
this is very christmas yeah it's like a gift like you wrap it like you you uh you do put it yeah the gift of knowledge this christmas i mean i do i don't want to say there's some times like in the mornings when it's uh difficult to sleep because uh like you know when you got that nice sleep in the morning and then it just says hi
00:16:57
Speaker
you know when you get that nicely and you know when you like wake up in the morning on Christmas Day and you're like ooh presents right so ooh boner what what what are your favorite types of what what are your favorite I usually just went ooh boner yes Jeff bro
Questioning Christmas Traditions
00:17:19
Speaker
what are your favorite friends hey all right man what about what the man wants to talk about you know they what
00:17:29
Speaker
your favorite type of presents please uh... or washing machine that doesn't work no washing machine on the edges yeah and i just can't stop it yeah yes i can fly trap uh... i don't know what i have uh... well we're really good uh...
00:18:03
Speaker
Yeah, he's got he's got No, it is I'm talking about that little nose nevermind
00:18:20
Speaker
Uh, I don't know about you guys, but I, I, cause you know, obviously I don't, I don't celebrate this, this holiday I'm talking about. I, I just sit on Best Buy, Walmart, uh, different websites and just look at their deals. You know what I mean? They got some sick deals and they
Holiday Theft and Online Shopping
00:18:36
Speaker
do. This is, I do have, like, aside from Black Friday, this is time to get some deals. Like, I mean.
00:18:44
Speaker
Like I think last weekend, I was just on Best Buy and I was coincidentally there while the PS5 queuing was going on. So I'm just like, I'm just gonna sit in the queue. Even though I'm not gonna buy it, I know. I'm just gonna, you know, prank someone and knock you on my spot. So I sat down a little bit. What a nice guy. And I got to the part where you get to choose, you know, what you want. And I clicked, you know, the one with the disc and I put it in the cart and I'm going to the cart.
00:19:14
Speaker
and putting in the information. I was actually really close to just buying it, you know what I mean? I have 500 bucks to buy it. Yeah. I buy it. I just swipe out and I'm like, okay. Sorry, bro. You stopped a 12 year old from getting their Christmas present this year.
00:19:35
Speaker
Honestly, yeah, I'm not kidding. They don't deserve it. The people who, like, got their biggest fives stolen. Be a child. Honestly, like, deserve it. Like, I feel bad for everyone who, like, I saw this video of a guy who, like, ordered it, and the guy puts the box, like, the delivery man puts the box down, opens the box, takes it, puts the box, like, puts the box together again, tapes it up, and then leaves it there. And this guy gets all excited because it looks like it's, you know, an intact box, and he opens it, and nothing's inside. I'm like,
00:20:04
Speaker
I've lost all faith in humanity. Thomas has seen enough. Yes, don't steal people's PS5s. So how did you watch the SpongeBob Christmas special? How did I watch it? Yeah. Wait a second. So I took off the parental controls and I just went on to... Where did I watch it?
00:20:33
Speaker
It was on Amazon Prime. I went on a SpongeBob and I clicked on the one where it's snowing and they had the snowball fight, remember? But Squidward wants to stay inside and drink his tea and enjoy his holidays in a different way.
Christmas in Pop Culture
00:20:49
Speaker
Do you know that episode? Yeah, I watched that and I put the parental controls back on so that my parents wouldn't know.
00:20:59
Speaker
It's just gonna be a little bit of heresy. I mean, there was no Christianity involved. Actually, now that you think about it, how would they have known about Christmas if they're underwater? Like, did Jesus go down there? I thought he could walk on water. Don't, aren't they looking at the skirt? Yeah, he wore that skirt, remember? Yeah, but he ain't nothing. He's going all commando after that. You know what I mean?
00:21:30
Speaker
I actually don't know. Does that mean Bikini Bottom crucified? Oh, that's why it's called Bikini Bottom. Yes, it's called Bikini Bottom because they crucified 50 of us. When you put it like that.
00:21:52
Speaker
I'm honestly not a fan of Christmas movies or episodes. I don't know. Just ain't my thing. They just feel very forced. Not very, you know, natural. I like Thanksgiving movies and episodes. They fit better. Like what? Like Pocahontas. Oh. I don't know if that was created. Oh. Oh, right.
00:22:28
Speaker
And just that silence. I like this music that's playing. I hear this. Oh, can you hear that?
Family Traditions and COVID-19 Impact
00:22:33
Speaker
Because he said it on a mile ago that he's watching like a weird Russian dancing video. Oh, anyways. Well, you watch anime. So, you know. Christmas.
00:22:47
Speaker
So what do you guys do for Christmas? You have this thing with your family, right? I've heard that people, they do stuff with their families. I used to go to Mexico a lot and get my relatives gifts and then drive back. Keywords. Yeah.
00:23:14
Speaker
Give to our, our family. My family, extended family who weren't in as good situations financially or like in life as we were and give them lots of drugs. I mean, presence. Sorry. Simply stop. Yeah. So you gave your family drugs and they get out of their rut. Okay. Um, Connor.
00:23:40
Speaker
I mean not much to be honest there I mean there isn't much to do because everything is closed obviously so sometimes we go out of state to see people whoa what to us that's so weird sometimes we don't oh okay yeah I don't know why I was expecting you guys to do like
00:23:58
Speaker
caroling and stuff like that. I don't do that on their dumb dumb thing. Well, I mean we don't have like a tradition where we like spin a wooden top. Okay. Okay. Okay. And sing a song about it. Ouch. Yeah, I feel bad for Jews during Christmas. I don't know why. They don't look like people who don't celebrate Christmas, but you know, people get confused.
00:24:27
Speaker
I don't know. I've seen a lot of people like, you know, like when you go to like Macy's and stuff during Christmas and they're like Happy holidays. May Jesus bless your sperm stuff like that The Jews get offended. They're like, yeah I'll have you know that someone else blesses my sperm and then they walk away Yes
00:25:04
Speaker
Exactly Yeah, you guys don't go to Christmas like anything at all like you don't do anything like Well, I'm sure this year Christmas parties might be yes, which is why I asked in the past might be a lot of back when life Existed non-existent. I'd want to but my family's would try to like, you know People
00:25:28
Speaker
Yeah. If there was like a Christmas party that wasn't on Christmas, you know, like the same way that would be Thanksgiving on a different day from actual Thanksgiving, then yeah, I would go to that. Or at least try to. Yeah. Yeah. In the past, at least I've like gone vacation somewhere. Like last year I went to Las Vegas and I was pretty lit. I went like.
00:25:51
Speaker
Yeah, well, not for the purposes of Christmas. I just went because, like, I had no school and my mom didn't have to work and my dad didn't have any work, so we just, like, dipped town. And we went, stayed through Christmas and New Year's. I was going to say Las Vegas during New Year's. We're going to do a New Year's episode later, but I just want to say that Las Vegas during New Year's is a totally different city. What are you, like, good or bad? No, I heard it's bad. It's good and bad.
00:26:18
Speaker
It is so and like the streets are like packed with people. There's a lot of Like like you don't expect it I don't know why I just a bunch of like crackheads going at it
00:26:42
Speaker
There's literally so many crack heads just doing stuff under the belt, you know what I mean? Like, it's just not PG at all.
New Year's Celebrations in Las Vegas
00:26:50
Speaker
Like, like...
00:26:53
Speaker
okay okay that's not what I meant I mean like like okay so last year last year I stayed at the MGM Grand and I stayed so like what I like what what my family usually does we usually get like some some people from our family like family friends and stuff and we'll just like bar hop different hotels you know I mean so you go to like
00:27:15
Speaker
the Bellagio, then you go to, I'm feeling what the other hotels are called, you know what I mean, you go to like different places and you like check out the stuff, right? In New Year's, there's no way you can do that because the streets and the sidewalks are just packed with people because they're like drunk and high and really, really high and like so high that you can't breathe in normal air until you get back into your room. Even then, you'll smell it.
00:27:45
Speaker
And then you kind of just sit there.
Christmas in India and Academic Challenges
00:27:50
Speaker
Yeah, you kind of sit there and then you weigh into like 1150. And then you go outside and it's still really packed and you see the fireworks. Fireworks are really cool, I gotta say, for New Year's. I love it when stuff blows up in the sky.
00:28:05
Speaker
Yeah, and and people are still really really high so they don't really know what's going on They're kind of like looking down to imagine like fireworks like a psychedelic and just seeing fireworks in the sky Yeah Honestly, yeah, that's why they're looking down under the belt So that's what you're trying to say Yeah Yeah, exactly
00:28:33
Speaker
And then you have those like Filipino grandmas who are still inside playing slots. So yeah No, no, yeah, no other race than grandmas just those Asian grandmas who are just smoking like 15 cigarettes and then playing slots But they do have like Christmas trees in Las Vegas like some really cool like
00:29:00
Speaker
Not as big as the one on the anthem. Yeah, you remember when the Christmas tree on the anthem used to be like gigantic and it was like the biggest in the state? Yeah, it retracted. Well, and then what? Well, it still is in the state. Yeah, it got too cold out. It used to be the biggest in the nation. Yeah. But do your parents like understand or like
00:29:27
Speaker
identify christmas uh yes because they don't have any work that day or actually that entire week nice i'm honestly even like even if we were actually they they celebrate christmas in india too like they eat two or three percent of christians there so it's still a national holiday in india but i think it's a national holiday just so they can say it's a national holiday so that there's no school or work
00:29:54
Speaker
so yeah thank you jesus at least you gave us no school or work you you were born yeah at least yes at least you did something you know i mean oh yeah you may not have died a horrific death or anything like that you know i gotta say like if i still had school during this time i might have lost my mind
00:30:24
Speaker
Yeah, there's a lot of work. There's a lot of work this semester. I'm not gonna lie.
Holiday Desserts and Baking Plans
00:30:34
Speaker
There wasn't a whole lot of work for me. But I did accidentally turn in a blank sheet for one of my... Oh. That was dope. Nice. Yeah, I emailed the teacher.
00:30:49
Speaker
switched it back. I got to say, yeah, the whole technology thing for school was really weird this time. I'm used to writing stuff with my hand. Yeah, instead of turning in files and folders and stuff with different stuff in it. I agree. It is what it is.
00:31:18
Speaker
It is what it is. Christmas. Yeah. Okay. So. Yes. Question. No. Fruitcake. No. Hard no. Yes or no. Yeah, me neither. Someone will say no. I'm a hard guy. I've literally never had fruitcake. Oh my gosh. Like I said, I've been to a lot of Christmas parties. It sounds like it would be good. And maybe because I've heard that a lot of people have hard fruitcake and that's bad.
00:31:48
Speaker
But if somebody was to make a legitimate fruitcake, maybe it wouldn't be this bad. Yeah, like banana bread, but with like other fruit in it. That's what I imagined. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So yeah, I've been to a lot of Christmas parties and it's always there. It's kind of like a staple food. It's kind of like, you know, how candy corn is there for Halloween. Like, uh, well, uh, it's good. I would disagree, but nevermind. Um, fruitcake, it just doesn't taste good.
00:32:12
Speaker
It has dried fruits and nuts, and it's put in this really weird tasting cake flavor. Most of the time, it just sits out, so it gets stale really quickly, once you open it from the packaging. Well, because it's during the party, everyone's there for four or five hours.
00:32:37
Speaker
because it's not like a birthday it's just like a party about a birthday you know what i mean like take dudes with fruitcake how come you have why are you the fruitcake what do you mean why are you the fruitcake
00:33:01
Speaker
Why are you the fruitcake? Simple question. Brittle me this. I don't know. It just doesn't really taste good. I think you just taste it to know. You taste it once and you'll figure it out. It ain't. Yeah. And honestly, I'm not the one who's like drunk during those parties. So at least my taste buds aren't like numb. But maybe for drunk people, it's pretty good. I don't know. Mm.
00:33:30
Speaker
now i want to get some like gourmet fruit uh fruitcake yeah should i make some fruitcake we have like you should you should follow like you're just gonna make fruitcake and show it to you yeah like yeah like no like the pumpkin bread i like those yeah i like corn bread corn but it's nice pumpkin bread is good i would say
00:33:54
Speaker
You want me to? Okay, I'll make Connor cornbread. I'll make Jacob fruitcake. Wait, why are you making me a fruitcake? I'll make you cornbread. I'll make Connor pumpkin bread. Why did I say that? You wanted to taste the fruitcake? Did you not want to taste the fruitcake? The cheesecake is better. Why do I get only fruitcake? Cheesecake. Where's cheesecake from? I don't care. Cheesecake was never on the menu, Jacob.
00:34:27
Speaker
A little above both. Okay, I'll make you cheesecake. I mean, theoretically, this actually could happen in the near future. And then we'll all eat our cakes. It's gonna hold you at gunpoint for us to make a cheesecake. It'll be like $40, and then we'll get it for free. Yeah, we should just have like a vlog live stream. It's just like, in the corner, you see a handful of them done, and it's just me, like, cheering, making a fruitcake. That's for good. A cheesecake.
00:35:16
Speaker
I don't have water we're gonna add salt
00:35:22
Speaker
But, um, I think I can just cry into it. Dude, that livestream... That livestream's shortly after eclipse minutes. Wait, what? Uh, I can just... We need to list the livestream. We have to get it done first. I feel like this is what Cutthroat Kitchen should have been. Yeah, Alton Brown was a bitch. A missed opportunity for the show. Like an AK47. Yeah, Gordon Ramsay takes one.
00:35:51
Speaker
No, you should have had like a glaive or like a battle axe. It's really like a battle royale. You just get executed. It was cooking. What was cooking? MasterChef Execution Edition. I wish this was a viable TV show.
Favorite Christmas Songs
00:36:17
Speaker
In some weird dimension. I'm sure in some alternate dimension.
00:36:21
Speaker
this is an actual show i know that in like japan and i wish i wish it was just like bears attacking people like seeing how long they can live without being attacked by a bear i am bear wow wait hold up we're yeah uh christmas
00:36:55
Speaker
What's your other favorite Christmas song? I know there's a lot of Christmas songs. And I'm just going to say right now, if you say Mariah Carey's I'm going to end this podcast right now. It is such an overhyped piece of garbage song. It is. I'd rather look like Feliz Navidad on repeat for 50 hours straight.
00:37:21
Speaker
It bops. It bops. Honestly, Feliz Navidad is not that bad. It's all right. It does pop. Bro, you ever just- At like one o'clock in the morning, like a small little salsa in your room? Or is it just- I don't eat there, but it's just like- No. You're kind of just doing your cha-cha. I don't know salsa, so no. I think salsa requires you to dance with a woman. Is that true? Yeah. Yeah.
00:37:51
Speaker
Pico de gallo. And some tomatoes. You gotta crush them up. I gotta say, recently I went to the store and I bought a bag of Tostitos, like salsa. And it's actually really good. Like, Tostitos make some good salsa. Like, for store-bought salsa, that's not, like, Fry's brand salsa. Like, it's just a company. Tostitos salsa is really good. And I've had a lot of salsas, and that's, like, Ed Bops.
Creative Gingerbread Houses and Folklore
00:38:21
Speaker
I don't know why I'm saying this. Yeah, I never did this also to Feliz Navidad. I would eat also. Yeah, I would eat Feliz Navidad. Yes. All right, go ahead now. What are you saying? What are you going to say? Um, so, so, uh, me and my sister,
00:38:50
Speaker
and a family friend. We were all creating, we had two gingerbread houses, one was like a camper, and the other was just a regular house with a dog, right? And so we're like, okay, we got to put these together, we got to make an amalgamation, right? So here's what we decided to do. We were going to put the house on top of the camper, and it's going to be like a moving house, you know?
00:39:12
Speaker
But we get to making it, and we're like, OK, so the owner of this house is obviously the dog. But what does this dog do? And we notice the red frosting that we have been provided in this packet. And we think to ourselves, OK, now, what is this red supposed to represent? And we're like, OK, blood. Obviously, it has to be blood. And there were also a bunch of bones
00:39:39
Speaker
um like little little candy bones right so obviously these are the bones of the children that the dog eats so we came up with in the in the canon lore of this gingerbread house that this dog is in like a extra planar entity who uh travels the the multiverse and consumes children so yeah what a holly
00:40:09
Speaker
Holy-jolly Christmas. What is wrong with you and your family? Good question. I feel like this is what they do in Germany or something. This is like the German tradition of Christmas where they just beat their children with sticks and then they make weird
00:40:29
Speaker
Halloween themed Christmas. How did that become a German? Because I know that I know in Germany like there's that thing. Yeah, the last few German traditions didn't really work out. So I'm talking about a thing where like if the kid got like sticks for Christmas, then he's like a bad boy and mother's got to beat him because he has to. You mean charcoal? Beat him with charcoal? No, it was it was it switches.
00:40:58
Speaker
You know like those wooden sticks called switches? So the mommy has to beat him because he's a bad boy. Have you guys seen Krampus? I've not seen the movie. You know what it's about? Allow me to Google this. It's like Evil Santa? Yeah, it's my favorite Christmas movie. Really?
00:41:27
Speaker
It's pretty good. It's about, you know, evil Santa and he kills these children and their families. Oh, oh, wow. Okay. That's okay. That's grandpa. This is a horned anthropomorphic figure and alpine folklore who during the Christmas season scares children who have misbehaved assisting to St. Nicholas. The first of three good December men. The other two are Santa Claus and dead morose.
00:41:59
Speaker
Again, what a holly jolly. Have you guys heard of the Yule Man? The Yule? The Yule Man is a little bit like, it's a little bit like Krampus, but he instead simply watches bad children up until like the 12 days prior to Christmas. And then on Christmas day, he will either steal them away to make presents or
00:42:28
Speaker
He will give them a doll made of the body parts and organs, the last child that he stole. So pretty fun. Connor, this movie looks absolutely terrifying. What is wrong with you? It's a Christmas movie. Yeah, it's a warm tail, warm fuzzy tail.
00:42:52
Speaker
gives you morals. It teaches values to children. Oh, it's a, what a frame, the devil returns, teach my, my child when I show
Debating Christmas Movies
00:43:02
Speaker
them. Well, if you're a bad child on a topic of favorite Christmas movies. Um, one of my favorite Christmas movies is diehard. Uh, it's during Christmas, uh, has Bruce Willis who's incredible actor and diaries has a good movie in general.
00:43:20
Speaker
It just has everything you want in a movie. Swearing, action, and Bruce Willis. I like Bruce Willis. He did. When he attacked the Guinness, he killed again.
00:43:44
Speaker
It's not spoil it for people who haven't seen it. But yeah. Oh, might be. Even though it's like a movie that's been out for maybe like 20 years now. Yeah. A good 40 years. Yes. But like if I had to pick a Christmas themed movie, one of my favorites is Bad Santa. Bad Santa? That sounds kind of... It's not. It's just like a funny movie with Santa who's like a...
00:44:14
Speaker
Naughty okay, you're making it sound worse than it actually is Yeah, did it have a little like drum beat before the movie oh, that's what that was I thought I was that 21st century Fox thing, you know that That thing but I guess it's uh, no. Yeah. Yeah, I think it was different
00:44:41
Speaker
started with maybe like a washing machine or was it dryer and it was I mean it was probably not the kid at least I thought no like usually they're either like a unit
00:44:53
Speaker
Yeah, like both together. I don't know. As a kid, I was just like, yeah, how could someone just get stuck in there? Like how fat could, Oh, okay. I see why. And then I've lost my, uh, yes. Oh, okay. But anyways, bat saying is a good one. I reckon. Yeah. My favorite Christmas music has Bernie Mac in it. Um, he's a comedian. Nevermind.
00:45:21
Speaker
If you know, you know, for anyone who knows. Good idea. Upon watching the trailer of Krampus, it doesn't look as scary. It's a family. Yeah, it's a family move. Rudolph is just overhyped.
00:45:44
Speaker
Okay, here's my let me do I'm just gonna break it down for you so Santa is like okay this weird
00:45:55
Speaker
reindeer with a red nose I should make him feel needed wanted right all the other reindeer like yeah so yeah last year I actually you know led Santa's sleigh so suck that and realize like okay that's cool I got a red nose but no one likes him and then one day Santa's like hey you should
00:46:15
Speaker
help me and he's like okay and then suddenly it becomes a hero now that's not how that works okay as he has to have like a record okay LeBron doesn't just become LeBron after one game okay it's like multiple games and he also has a nose well absolutely also the facts I use Harvard wants to know your location honestly like
00:46:41
Speaker
Rudolph has a nose. No, he said LeBron James has a nose, which honestly is like... Yeah. So therefore, LeBron is Rudolph based on the transitive property. Yeah, it's like a... Santa is the Lakers and Kawhi Leonard is the stupid deer who just can't keep his mouth shut. If you know, you know, bear in mind. What's James Harden then? James Harley, Jesus, no.
00:47:21
Speaker
But yeah, but yeah, I think Rudolph is overhyped I don't think this much kind of pull us for sure. Oh my gosh Yeah, I just think Rudolph's overhyped It's overrated. Yeah, not that
00:47:41
Speaker
Say why? You know, on the other hand, it's Frosty the Snowman. He's not overhyped at all. Yeah, he obviously is like, you know, he doesn't really let the attention get to him. He just like, he is who he is. Bro, he also has a nose, but it's actually a carrot, which is like, yeah, that's crazy. I guess. I guess honestly, Frosty is probably like Michael Jordan in that case, then. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:48:12
Speaker
except Michael Jordan had sex with a hooker. And Frosty. Thank you. Like I said, Frosty the Snowman is an absolute G.
Christmas Food and Stereotypes
00:48:25
Speaker
He is just G. Complete G. He is the letter G. Speaking of G. He is the letter G. Audible.
00:48:43
Speaker
Audible starts with a G. Now, if you would like to learn more about the reading properties that allowed us to figure that out. Maybe you need Audible. You know what does start with a G? G-spot. Our new drink coming to stores near you. No, it's a pre-order only. And there's probably like a likely chance we're not going to ship a deal. We're just going to take your money.
00:49:13
Speaker
Yeah. But hey, if you wanted to learn how to spell, that's why you need out. You know what starts with G? Audible. If you haven't heard of Audible, then you're missing out, man. There's a leading provider of spoken word entertainment and audiobooks.
00:49:37
Speaker
And that ranges from best sellers to celebrity memoirs news business and self-development every month every month So we say the same part every time I want to sit up to my chair every month now
00:50:21
Speaker
Yeah, this is our this is our gift to you just our
00:50:44
Speaker
Okay, so I guess I'll take it away maybe since we have the silence take it away
00:50:57
Speaker
Audible has thousands of titles, podcasts, guided wellness programs, A-list comedies, and exclusive Audible Originals to choose from. All of which can be downloaded and listened to offline via the free Audible app. Check out Audible by clicking the link in the podcast description or going to www.audibletrial.com slash Boistman Podcast to get a 30-day trial, which includes one credit and two if you're Amazon Prime member. Look who's back. So do I say my part now?
00:51:28
Speaker
Yeah, just say your part and I copy paste it. Just say it, I'll ask later. Every month, members get one credit to pick any title, plus two original f***ing dammit. Every month, members get booted from this call. Is that what happens? Every month, members will be assassinated.
00:52:05
Speaker
Every month members get one credit to pick any title plus two audible originals from a monthly selection and access to daily news digest such as the Wall Street Journal, New York Times and many more.
00:52:38
Speaker
So let me get a stray you you were adjusting your seat
00:52:45
Speaker
and you sat on your laptop or your PC. My elbow hit the keyboard and I hit the sleep keyboard. Sleep key. I see. Okay. Christmas. Comes once a year.
Christmas Lights and Decorations
00:53:02
Speaker
We shall go together. Sure. Sorry. You guys want to go look at lights together?
00:53:12
Speaker
Yeah Christmas lights Yeah, there's that What's it called? It's not like the way to Happy Valley like North arrow to drive in place Yeah in the middle of the road No, like
00:53:33
Speaker
It's on the middle of, like, when you're on the I-17 and you're going to Fort Norte. Yeah, that place isn't there anymore. It's so sad. It's so sad. That place is actually over here, I think. All right. Yeah, so Glendale Glitters is still, you know, it's still around. It's just like a walk-around place, I think, but yeah. I know the Phoenix Zoo is doing like a drive-through thing where they put up light animals instead of real animals.
00:54:02
Speaker
Really like well like this is closed because of Backstreet Boys. I honestly think it would have been cool if they just like duct tape a bunch of like Christmas lights to a giraffe animals. Yeah, yeah Walk around like have a really long extension cable and they're just like they're just chill They should they should like decorate a giraffe like a Christmas tree. Yeah like rainbow RGB We get some gamer gamer
00:54:34
Speaker
animals okay i'm not i'm not kidding when i say that the my house is i've driven by that just have like RGB lighting instead of like Christmas lighting oh we do we have RGB no no i'm saying like on their house like you know i'm saying we have our i have RGB lighting i don't think you understand what i'm trying to escape right now
00:54:56
Speaker
I don't think you understand when I say I have RGB lighting on my house. I have RGB lighting on my house. Wow, okay, okay. Did I stutter? Like... Did I stutter? What? Did I stutter? Um... Let me be clear. Michelle, get my strip. Michelle, um... Michelle, get the... Get the RB and shoot the RGB lights now. Are you... Are you a key? Oh yeah, how'd you know? Oh, nothing.
00:55:23
Speaker
Chibi intensifies all the gamer gamer solidarity put turn your lights rainbow This gives to myself is I'm gonna get like an RGB interior for my car that I've been planning on getting for a couple months so You're a driving pride flag. What?
Historical Figures and Christmas
00:56:04
Speaker
On the outside No, we're talking about my car like the lighting scheme you're like No, I'm gonna mostly keep the light purple cuz it'll look cool like at night Yeah
00:56:40
Speaker
be RGVified, but she was not to have RGVified. He so desires. Yeah, he chooses to indulge. Do you think Hitler celebrated Christmas? You know what? I think he did. Clearly last time our audience loved Hitler. He definitely celebrated Tonica.
00:56:50
Speaker
a black exterior with a purple interior
00:57:03
Speaker
I think he might be slightly mistaken. He did something. No, he liked candles. I think he enjoyed Hanukkah because all the Jews were in one place. No, do you remember they used to make giant-esque Hanukkah candles using Jews? Yeah. I'm sorry, what? I'll admit, there was some- I know what the joke you're trying to make. No, we learned this in the World War II Memorial at DC. Well, at least I learned that there is that they would make- The Holocaust Museum? Yeah.
00:57:32
Speaker
That was the only thing to have in a world with you guys Listen, I want to say for those who don't know that was a sad day. Like it was a day We're leaving DC and we decided to go to the Holocaust Museum as our last stop before we leave people started crying That was not like a teacher almost puked
00:57:58
Speaker
Yeah, it was not I had it like the the vibes are actually think almost morale was that Like we had to stand there for emotional support with one of the teachers Wasn't a he or she's a he. Oh No. Oh, I know it is. Yeah Yeah, that's sad I guess but yeah, that was not a good Stop I thought we could go to any other museum before we left DC like
00:58:27
Speaker
botanical gardens would have been we already did that though no i'm like instead yeah but we already did that we went to we went to pandexpress and i went to the holocaust we see okay but it took us an hour and a half to get to pandexpress yeah it did because we had the worst guide on the plate i remember this stripper fool thought he could guide us through dc just because who did you guys have
00:58:55
Speaker
No, I don't remember our own way. We got separated from the rest of the group. We had Leo with us.
Chocolate Preferences and Gingerbread
00:59:03
Speaker
Yeah, we had to carry a disabled wheelchair, man. Oh, yeah. Bro, we got to get Leo on this podcast, bro. Honestly, yes, I didn't know his experience. Content 100.
00:59:18
Speaker
I remember on the GC trip when like eight of us got separated because we didn't have IDs and we went to the Botanical Garden while you guys were at the the cemetery. Didn't you guys go to the Natural History Museum? We went to a couple different things. Imagine not having an ID. Well, I have plenty of ID now. Well, yeah, after you had to get them back because didn't the subway rob you or something? Yeah, and the hotel robbed you too.
00:59:47
Speaker
Dude, I honestly like, I remember putting my stuff in the bag and I like, we show up to the hotel, the zippers open and like my stuff's gone. I'm like, yo, this is nuts. Yeah, for some people that was not a fun trip. No, it was fun, bro. I just lost a lot of stuff. No, no, no, I know it was for you, but people who were chair ridden. Almost committed suicide, what?
01:00:17
Speaker
Wait. I think he was referring to me. What's your favorite Christmas meal? Or like snack or candy, you know? I mean, Hershey's does some really good things. Yeah. During Christmas time, I feel. Wait, hold up. What'd you just say? You say Hershey's?
01:00:37
Speaker
Yeah because Hershey's sucks do Hershey's oh because they don't make brown chocolate around this time They definitely do they make they make that junk that they call kisses and You don't like I don't like Hershey's chocolate Okay, if you if you've had if you've had any chocolate aside from Hershey's you realize how bad Hershey's is Like well have you had Ghirardelli chocolate?
01:01:05
Speaker
Have you had chocolate, chocolate, chocolate? But sometimes they don't feel like putting a down payment of like $50,000 on chocolate. I mean, it's true, but how many times do you have chocolate? Are you that fat kid from Willy Wonka who got stuck in the tube? Come down. So what if I am, OK? So what if I am overweight? My body, my choice.
01:01:30
Speaker
Okay, please do not don't be that party fuck don't don't do it. I don't do I'm beautiful and I accept myself the way I am No, don't don't do that. So what if I'm 4,000 pounds overweight? What if I have a bowling ball? So yeah, what's your favorite Christmas meal? My favorite Christmas meal is
01:01:57
Speaker
A meal? Is it bread? Eat it? Oh yeah. Oh, gingerbread pancake? Gingerbread, like, to put a spin on a different meal. That's pretty good. Or just, you know, snack or like...
01:02:17
Speaker
I do like I do I like I actually do like even just understandable. I don't think I've really the last time I had ginger because it's not super sweet is the thing. And I don't like super sweet stuff. So it's like a muted sort of sweetness. And I do like ginger, the big fan of just ginger. How often do you guys like it works for me? Gingerbread house stuff like I know you just did it. Like I
01:02:41
Speaker
only remember doing it like once in a class and that's it like I didn't do very many like Christmas traditions like white elephant and stuff like that growing up I don't know why I just like I was never in the class that would do it and stuff like that I feel like white elephant is just depends on how fun your teacher is if your teacher is fun and is light you can have like a secret center way else and if your teachers are still
01:03:03
Speaker
douchebag and has no
Secret Santa and Santa Claus Traditions
01:03:05
Speaker
life and soul. And this childhood was just a burning hell. That's all that was poor. And his dad was not there because he wanted to get milk and the cigarettes was everywhere. And he just was like, no, I'm not going to do this. You can stand up for this kids because my childhood sucked. Yeah. Then you pretty much had this bad luck. So, uh, were you thinking about somebody in particular?
01:03:26
Speaker
Anyway, moving on. I just want to say, the teachers that were nice and did Secret Santa was cool as a concept, but once you get to the Secret Santa-ing, it sucks. You know what I mean?
01:03:45
Speaker
because like you're like oh okay now i know who's going to give me a gift oh this guy sucks he's probably not going to give me a good gift and then you end up knocking a good gift well Ayush you never had to deal with that we've both been each other's secret santos like every time okay yeah that's true i now i'm thinking about it that's true but i have had other sequences yeah at school at our school yeah you and me we'll be like yeah Connor yeah you're super okay okay yeah we know what to get each other socks like if stocks and xbox yeah
01:04:14
Speaker
It's easy when you can get to know the person and just be like, okay, we know what to get at my tennis camps. Secret Santa was an ordeal like it was hell. It was like Pearl Harbor. Oh, it was it was an ambush like you just didn't know either.
01:04:34
Speaker
Yeah, so like one time, one time I got fart spray. That's what I got. And I put the effort into my Secret Santa gifts, okay? You know what I mean? Like, I actually don't like, oh, I know this person. He likes, he likes Kit Kats. I'm gonna give him one of those like huge ones from that store that sells candy. What's it called? Sugar? Is that what it's called? Sugar?
01:04:59
Speaker
No, no sugar like that store in the desert Ridge. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah sugar Yeah, they sound like those novelty candy stuff. So I'm like, oh again that thing I got for I don't know man I think I'd prefer poo-poo spray over candy because candy is outplayed You know
01:05:23
Speaker
Spray is a one-time. It's a one-time thing, you know, I feel like One-time thing not spray that smells like dookie Uh-huh Okay, you know what I think you eat cookies I
01:05:49
Speaker
Like, why does he only eat cookies? Why don't we just eat cookies? Why don't we prepare some sort of actual meal? I think he deserves the tree. What does he do right here? He forces his slaves to make the toys. Oh yes, the Chinese and Indian men. Oh my god. Well, at least, you know, he's... He's wrong on the same page. He doesn't just use white slaves.
01:06:19
Speaker
I honestly feel like... Wait, hold on. Let me just make sure before I move on. Do you guys still believe in Santa?
01:06:30
Speaker
Is that even a question? What the heck? How is it even a dispute? We get it that you're Indian and you like weren't ready. I have an Indian santa completely. There's an Indian santa okay calm down. Listen St. Nicholas is
01:06:51
Speaker
Legit facts, right? He's legit fat fat. Well, maybe that too Oh, maybe that too, you know, he usually is portrayed in that way but Statistically speak not statistically factually speaking St. Nicholas is a purse. He punched. Who did he punch in the face again? Do Jesus Oh
01:07:13
Speaker
He did punch a dude in like a dinner party when he was alive. And he was like a very important... Is this in the Bible? No, it's not in the Bible. It's in history. It's in the Lord again. It's in history. We learned it in history. Yeah. We did? Yeah. Oh, interesting. In this class? Well, you were there.
01:07:35
Speaker
I was in 8th grade, yes. Wait, wait, have you guys, have you guys done the, uh, go to the mall and sit on his lap while he gropes you? Um, not in a while.
01:07:47
Speaker
Um, seeing as, you know, we are literally adults now. Not now, I'm supposed to ever, ever in your 18 and 19 years life. Bro, next homies night out, right? Let's just all go to the mall and just sit on stand as well. Dude, it will not be Christmas when we do that. We've been talking about the next homies night out for the past four months, dude. Uh, definitely more than that, longer than that. Anyways, Aish, we still need to sneak you out.
01:08:17
Speaker
uh okay solid plan what do you think about all right um christmas
Alien Perspectives on Christmas
01:08:35
Speaker
so there is no disputing saint nicholas just because you're different and indian one and the same really but it doesn't mean that you can falsify what is real
01:08:50
Speaker
Okay. Facts. Exactly. You know that he exists regardless of whether or not you believe he exists. He's a historical figure. All right. Chigga. All right. Tell us about your Indian version of Christmas. My Indian version of Christmas.
01:09:19
Speaker
uh yeah sure um there's no gifts given it's more just like celebrating uh religion you know what i mean then you go poop in the streets uh that's definitely not the agenda but uh maybe some people who
01:09:39
Speaker
Don't have access to a toilet. We'll do that. Uh, sure. Yeah. They don't have plumbing. Yes, exactly. But, um, I don't know. There's not any like holiday in Hinduism. That's just like a tree, a red fat dude who's white and waking up in the morning and opening gifts. That just doesn't happen. Let's say, let's try to like explain. Okay.
01:10:09
Speaker
Yeah, hypothetically, right? Okay. Let's imagine when aliens came to Earth, right? And they like somehow tapped into our brain, right? To like learn our language. And they want us to explain our customs and holidays to them. So we go, right. So essentially there's this giant, there's this big fat dude who wears a red suit and he climbed down. He's white. He's white. Don't forget that. Yeah. And he climbs down every chimney in the entire world in one night.
01:10:38
Speaker
And what people are supposed to do, they're supposed to go and grab a tree, put it inside of their house, and wait for this big fat red man to go put gifts underneath. And to thank him, they put cookies, right? How messed up is that? I wonder if someone did a science experiment. One Christmas day and put a tree, one Christmas day and put cookies, one Christmas day and put a chimney.
01:11:06
Speaker
I wonder like what would happen like would they still get gifts or say they're like oh there's no tree uh hell no I'm out or like oh there's no cookies how is he gonna know is he just gonna like squirm back up the the fireplace I don't know he crawls out of your ass I don't know okay well anyways uh also let's
01:11:28
Speaker
I really like this alt and alt history. I think it's all about aliens. Let's talk about Easter, right? Say you're talking about an alien, right? And you're like, alright, so there's this giant bunny and he hands out chocolate to children and all of the children look around for the chocolate that's hidden, right? It's not chocolate, it's his eggs. It's children that the kids are eating.
01:11:52
Speaker
He has brown chil- No way! The Easter Bunny is Indian? Oh shit, I'm out, I'm out, I'm out, I'm out. Alright, well thanks for- I'm out, I'm out, I'm so out. So thanks for coming to the- Thanks for listening to the podcast. This has been the Christmas special. It was fun to have you. Have a great night. Who knew the bunny is Indian? Who knew?