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Episode 27: Noah's Drive-Thru Tinder | Boys 2 Men
118 Plays3 years ago
Welcome one in all, to the Boys 2 Men Podcast SEASON 6! In this episode, we catch up on what our life has been like since we last talked. We also go quite a bit off the rails on certain topics and stories. Everything from Starbucks to finding people on the hub...iykyk.
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Transcript
Playful Beginnings
00:00:05
Speaker
What the fuck is going on? I'm clearing out all of the orifices. All right. Without me? Yeah. Well, I make do. Yeah. I mean, you're not that far away from me. Dude.
Knife Talk and Dark Humor
00:00:28
Speaker
So I got this new knife, right? Really?
00:00:32
Speaker
If I would kill myself with any knife, it would probably be this one. Never mind. I was gonna say, leave that story for the episode, but turns out, I don't think we should put that in there. That was perfect intro. It's just beautiful. Yeah, you know what? That's the intro.
00:00:57
Speaker
�� 🎵
00:01:27
Speaker
So.
Return Announcement
00:02:06
Speaker
Well, hello. Good afternoon. Good evening and or good night everyone. Welcome to the boys to men podcast Welcome back after a nice long break. We have finally reconvened to give you all Awesome material that you so much deserve from us. It's like a month and a half in the making guys As you can tell Jacob is pumped up and ready to give you everything you'd ever want Jacob go ahead and tell us everything
00:02:38
Speaker
Sorry, I was just laughing really hard. That's why I muted my mic. We're all good. Why were you laughing, Aish? I don't know. Something about your story and it's just... Never mind. Let's keep going. What are you guys... I don't have a story. Me wanting to stab myself with this knife.
00:03:02
Speaker
So I bought this knife today. It was pretty nice. And I thought, you know what, if I'd kill myself, it would probably be with this knife. That's about it. Normal thoughts. Here is the hotline.
00:03:17
Speaker
I mean, I gotta be honest with you, there's some knives that are pretty cool. I wouldn't stab myself. I would like to hold it and maybe stab someone else with it. I wouldn't. See, but that's illegal to other people. And stabbing yourself isn't? It's kind of illegal. Isn't it illegal in like certain religions? Well, all of them except Muslim, I think.
00:03:40
Speaker
yeah you're out i totally forgot about that and like oh i decided no i just understood what you said oh my god oh my god
00:03:53
Speaker
that took a second that was a oh that was good so as you can see connor has not missed a b don't explain it it wasn't even a joke it's just a fact oh my god they're told to they need their 72 virgins oh man what the fuck is going on
00:04:20
Speaker
No, that's such a good one. That's such a good video. Why did Connor send a photo of the shrimp man from Spongebob? Okay, because I asked. I asked. And I give.
00:04:37
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Welcome to season six. It's like Jacob said, it's a long time that we took, but we need recharge because content needs to marinate. Marinate ferment.
00:04:54
Speaker
whatever it is. But I feel like we've gotten a point where actually, no, we have no
Content Creation Jokes
00:05:00
Speaker
content. We're just going to make stuff up. We have no content. We're going to be completely honest with you guys. You're just too lazy. You're also hanging out in real life. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You've kind of been doing a lot of things. That is true. So we do have content for you. Yeah, I guess maybe we should just do a life update for our listeners.
00:05:24
Speaker
because it has been almost a month and a half since we recorded it and uploaded something. And I'm sure you all are very curious as to what has been going on with the boys command group. Yes. Um, we've all been jerking each other off in the bathroom. Yes. In the bathroom. Not just any bathroom. We take pride in what we do. We can get a pride. Yeah. It is pride month. That's correct.
00:05:52
Speaker
We've been in June for eight days now. It's gone. This is your daily fact. The day of recording is June 8th because there's no way in any way that I use is going to upload this on this day. Watch me. Watch me. We're not even going to finish recording tonight.
Ayush's Tennis Injury
00:06:16
Speaker
you're right you're right um all right life updates uh ayush can't jack anyone off because his arm doesn't work anymore because of his religion yeah talk about that oh yeah um the cause is the effects oh yeah um so basically uh i've been there's a sport i don't know if you guys heard this um it's like this uh
00:06:46
Speaker
I'm sorry. There's like this, it's called tennis for anyone who doesn't know. You use your arm a lot in that one. Of all things use your arm a lot and I've been playing tennis for almost 14 years now and my arm has finally decided that it's time to
00:07:06
Speaker
give up. Basically, every time I play tennis, I can't do anything else with my right arm. And apparently this is a medical problem that needs surgery. So I got surgery on my right arm. They did some stuff in there. And yeah, I've been resting. I haven't played tennis in a long time. I haven't done any other extraneous activity with my right arm in a forward or backward motion. Yeah.
00:07:37
Speaker
That's that's my left up. Wait, so like what exactly was it because coming from a medical major like yourself I would assume they did more than just do so. Yeah. Okay. I guess I can get the details There's a couple tendons in your arm that hold the front part of your arm and the back part of your arm together and that is slowly deteriorating to the point where I probably couldn't move my arm if I kept playing tennis and
00:08:02
Speaker
Cause there's like no cartilage in there. Um, and they basically have to go in and help with that is, is, uh, in layman terms. So it's a, it's a common injury. Yeah. Tennis elbow. It's called tennis elbow. And, um, yeah. Yeah. It's called tennis elbow, but this is like extreme tennis. Which, which tendon was it again?
00:08:27
Speaker
It's like the interior radial under radius. It's on the back of the knee, or the back of the... Yes, the back of my... Unfortunately, one of our players actually tours meniscus earlier this week, or last week. I've torn my ACL before, and that is 100 times worse than this. Tearing your ACL,
00:08:55
Speaker
is like a dude kicking you in the balls but it's not your balls it's your knee yeah it's what it felt like when i tore my hamstring the first time oh life update both of my legs are screwed up
00:09:14
Speaker
Nice. Yeah. So I can just about barely walk. I'm taking a two week break. That should hopefully be enough. But yeah, go
Noah's Starbucks Experience
00:09:24
Speaker
back with a ushers thing. It's a common injury and usually pro athletes have to get that type of surgery. There's a common surgery in soccer that's related to your kneecap, I believe. It's either you have to like
00:09:39
Speaker
yeah and it just wears down over time and they just have to put it back yeah you're not going to be like demobilized in any way shape or form afterwards right no no i'll still be able to play tennis it's just i'm going to have to go through a lot of pt and um really getting back into it because like your arm once they do it like you you basically can't move your arm for like a good month and i was
00:10:09
Speaker
yeah oh my yeah oh man another reason we didn't record is literally because like one of the times we were supposed to record i usually just goes i can't handle just passed out yeah yeah there's a lot of mids but um we're better now you have to take any of the meds anymore
00:10:30
Speaker
No, no, I'm good. Actually, I got my bandages off. I got my bandages off. Do you have any extra medication? No, I took all of it. I was looking for a handout over here or something. He's like, you got it. I don't waste the meds. I use all of it. I'm not that bad of a person. Yeah.
00:10:50
Speaker
I usually was an apex predator for 38 hours. Yeah. I was literally in my room just watching like all the Marvel movies, not paying attention to anything. I was just like zoned out. I didn't even know what I was thinking about. I was in a total dimension. I was eating like wheat thins and like, I don't even know what else. It was not healthy. But yeah. Oh my gosh.
00:11:18
Speaker
in the in the vein of zoned out i got my uh second dose of the vaccine and i took some payments right um right after i took some time off because it gave it to me or like it was an ad bill but that kind of wore off like right away you took it right after the shot yeah because just like it's preemptive are you supposed to yeah you can you can't take it before it'll yeah you can't do it before you can take it after
00:11:47
Speaker
Yeah, but which, um, which, uh, brand, uh, Brandon, no, with the shot. Oh, okay. All right. Um, yeah, but then it kind of wore off and I started getting migraine. My, like, my, my right eye felt like it was like pulsing while I was at work. And I'm just like, you know, I'm trying to mix some drinks and I'm just like,
00:12:20
Speaker
I was either, I was literally physically pulsing or I was completely zoned out and I was just like in a different dimension. That happened a couple of times. Did you give someone the wrong drink or something? Not today. I think I messed up a couple of drinks. I didn't put vanilla bean.
00:12:47
Speaker
How would they know until they drink it there's some people that just don't know this Yeah, they all all the Starbucks drinks mostly look exactly the same to me like I
00:13:03
Speaker
Hot coffee ways, they all look exactly the same. Cold, I don't know, like some of the frappuccinos look exactly the same. Some of like the iced coffees look exactly the same. So I don't really know how you could tell. Sorry, I can't actually see my vanilla bean powder. Well, yeah, no, but like it's pretty obvious for the vanilla beans. You don't put it in there. There's not like black flecks. Okay. It's like pretty, like it's a textured difference as well.
00:13:35
Speaker
Interesting. So I get to like, make whatever drink I want. Yeah. Uh, because we get two food drinks on days that we're working and one for you to come down, but we also get to make our own drinks. So I just made a, um, so it was like a strawberry acai lemonade. Um, but then I blended it with ice. So it was like a, uh, frosty, but it was also caffeinated.
00:14:06
Speaker
Nice nice just random concoctions. Yeah, I
Relationship Humor
00:14:10
Speaker
Would I would I would do that yeah, I hate how stuff is restricted to menu also One of my shift supervisors It's a closet of gay Everyone has a bet on how long it's gonna take for him to ask me out nice
00:14:34
Speaker
What's with you and gay people, Noah? What is it with you and gay people? They're called backup plans, I usually... Oh... Okay. That was the good one. It's a contingency. Whatever happens, we're okay. That sounds like something Rishik would say, what?
00:15:05
Speaker
Hey, I was one of you guys the whole time What do you mean I didn't acknowledge your existence, what are you talking about? All right, I really everybody there's a there's a lot of gay people over there, but they're all super chill it could be 10. Oh You bleed that out
00:15:29
Speaker
yeah i gotta remove that untitled co-worker i i do want to say not to not to like stereotype but um there are some jobs that gay people do really well um i'm just gonna shout out my fashion design i'm just gonna shout out my barber my barber this happens to be a fashion major wow oh what sometimes the puzzle piece just
00:16:01
Speaker
yeah like like barbers barbers they're gay are really good child syndrome syndrome i don't think that's something you grow this is something you're born by you do you have any siblings i should know this oh nope i use has it too yeah i got the syndrome how does it make you feel i wish that you're you're handicapped um
00:16:28
Speaker
You guys know what I mean, right? It's a personality that's grown by specifically being an only child. Oh, you're just an only child? Well, not all only children have only child syndrome, but all only child syndrome, people with only child syndrome can. Yeah, well, you would assume that- What are the qualities? I want to hear this so I can- I use just like, hmm. Let me know.
00:16:59
Speaker
They need to have everything their way. Oh, okay. I think we all know where this one comes. I mean, I don't really know how to answer that one. All right, keep going. All right. A serious lust for power. So like... Lust for power?
00:17:16
Speaker
Listen listen, I hate power. I would rather be like a small you want to be gone. I'll rather be the pawn Small pawns in a big fish
00:17:31
Speaker
Well, yeah, okay Like I hate the idea of power. All right, that's just dumb I would rather just do my work and move on like if someone wants me to do something. I'll just do it Oh, yeah, I actually have my own thoughts and opinions. So No, I am autonomous Yeah, I am robot. I am a sentient all I
00:17:59
Speaker
What else? What else qualifies the syndrome? Is Brown in there? An affinity for talking people down and giving out crap, but not being able to take it. I love that. That's arguable. I don't know. In his example,
00:18:30
Speaker
like if you if you do something that upsets him he will like pull you aside tell you that like that what you're doing is disrespectful even if it's not like and then he will get upset if you do the same thing and then he will cry to the ship the ship the manager
00:18:56
Speaker
okay wait but he's actually well he's a shift lead so like he is kind of your boss right uh not really not really he's a lead but like he doesn't have authority no he doesn't have enough authority he's a lead but no it just doesn't listen to him no i never this dude oh okay nice no actually no i did have to because he was like toppling me
00:19:30
Speaker
Like he literally called me like he would take my drinks away while I was making them because I wasn't doing it fast enough Yeah, he's the only one that can do it right, right? Yes. Yeah. Yeah But he also like doesn't do his job to like walk off and do random shit. Mm-hmm. It's quite annoying Jacob called me is like overprotective
00:19:54
Speaker
or like too watchful. For those of you less educated. For those dumb people out there, coddle means overprotective. Sorry, Jacob. Jacob, you're not dumb. You're just special. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. No, no, no, no. No, I was just, what's the word? Inebriated? Oh, god. Inebriated. Don't make it complicated, Noah. Don't make it complicated. I don't think you were inebriated.
00:20:22
Speaker
I can't use the word inebriated because it's a long word. Big word. What? It has more than two syllables. Brain slow. Brain. No working fast. Brain inebriated. Brain slow. Eat. Eat by brain slow. Monkey together strong.
00:20:54
Speaker
Ape together smart. Ape together not emebriated. See one one guy emebriated is very different from two guys emebriated. You don't know what's gonna happen. Yeah apex predator am I right? No that's only you. No okay.
00:21:20
Speaker
Yeah, the different one which is why you're the apex predator. Oh, okay All right, wait, so is Noah's life up to that he got a job at Starbucks or Did did the people already
Starbucks Job Insights
00:21:37
Speaker
know that? I don't think so
00:21:39
Speaker
Okay, so... Noah got a job at Starbucks. I legit don't know. So, outside of mysterious shift supervisor, whom shall not be named. Imagine Noah just goes there every day and just pretends that he works there. He doesn't actually. I don't actually work there. He just goes to the back. Everyone's just like, alright. He can't really say anything to him.
00:22:11
Speaker
Like, wow, my managers are always complaining about me, how I don't actually work there and how I can't make people dings for them. Yeah. I don't have a food license and the health code violation. And we're not going to pay you for this work. Yeah. Other than my boss said he's not going to pay me. They give me a hundred percent of the tips. Oh yeah. It's nice there. No, because you get tips.
00:22:39
Speaker
Dude, it's like 13 hours. They split the tips. Well, they split it evenly. Even though, yeah, for per hour work, even though I get a shit ton of tips when I do window. Because I always strike up conversations. And people would be like, oh my gosh, you just made my day. OK, yeah, actually, I have a question. Now that we have an insider in the Starbucks world,
00:23:09
Speaker
I don't know. I've never personally had a bad experience at Starbucks. I never had a person who's a super meaner, rude. Is that just how you guys are trained? Or is that internally? Starbucks is a nice place. People need it. Starbucks tells you to be nice to people. It's a part of their code or something. Yeah. Because if you go across the street to McDonald's, they will disrespect you. They will grow food in your face. They will make the moment. Yeah.
00:23:37
Speaker
make the moment right is one of their big core tenants, which is like, you know, if they don't like the drink, even if they've already paid for it, and you made it perfectly, you can remake the drink and stuff like that. Nice, nice. Okay. Was it hard to get a position in Starbucks? No, I applied.
00:24:07
Speaker
Google for like I sent in my application and then they called me and then I was like, I grew my own coffee. And then she was like, mmm, Mary. Yes. Your classic job application story. Yeah. And now we're, now we're married halfway. Nice. Three. Oh, yeah.
00:24:38
Speaker
He got busy. And he got busy. Now, you know, a little birdie told me that even Starbucks has given you a soulmate of yours, maybe even a future. You want to tell us about that, Noah? I don't think I will. I don't think I will.
00:25:08
Speaker
It was your average day at Stuyvesant. I was doing drive-thru. I'm sorry, I'm just trying to recall the story. Not that it didn't happen today, but... So, I'm doing drive-thru, you know? I'm talking to people.
00:25:39
Speaker
conversations making it happen trying to make a piece of games a little bit better and this girl drops up and she has a sticker but they're part of a character from my neighbor Totoro which is a Studio Ghibli movie and I was like oh yeah is that your favorite Studio Ghibli movie they started talking about Studio Ghibli and she was like oh yeah like oh yeah I need to do a
00:26:09
Speaker
Studio give me movie marathon. I was like as a joke, you know, I was like sarcastic Oh, yeah, I'll do it with you because I operating I say that way too much and I'll be like, oh, yeah, I'll I'm gonna talk to you. I'll be like, oh, yeah, I'll do it with you That sounds wrong anyway And then she was like, well, yeah
00:26:39
Speaker
Let me get your number." And I was like, oh yeah, I can't give out my number. And then she was like, well, let me give you mine. And she did. So there is love on a battlefield. Love in the coffee. Nice. Nice.
00:27:07
Speaker
No, you're just I just imagine you holding up the drive-thru line while you're talking to this girl and getting her number everyone's like Drive-thru line all the time. It's hilarious. Oh Yeah, I'm sure your co-workers and manager find it amazingly funny as well Diligent worker. No, I'm not the one that holds it the line because I'll talk to them because They take so long to make the drinks it could
00:27:35
Speaker
30 drinks in like 20 minutes. Yeah, multitasking. That kind of work can get pretty difficult. Yeah. It's just like a lot of recipes to memorize. It's hard for me right now. You memorize those? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, what? Like even the measurements and things? Well, yeah, they have a lot of helpful tips or stuff for measurements.
00:28:05
Speaker
in your hot drinks, depending on the size, you'll memorize how many shots go in. So like for hot drinks, a short and a tall, you get one shot of espresso, and then grande, you know, menti, you get two, and then you'll have your steamed milk, which goes in this little pitcher that you'll, and it's got lines, and you just have to memorize which line or which drink. For cold, there's lines on the cup.
00:28:34
Speaker
For like the juices and stuff we have this other like shaker bottle. Mm-hmm so Like it's it's pretty easy it's just Frappuccinos are the worst Oh Yeah, why cuz like cuz they're just out of the way We're in the middle of doing espresso and then you're asked to make a frappuccino. It's just annoying cuz it's Just on cold bar
00:29:04
Speaker
Uh, and then we'll have somebody on drive bar and then somebody on main bar, but usually we're understaffed because, um, anyways, so it's, it's annoying for a couple of reasons. So you get your cup and then you have to fill it with, uh, either frat roast or nothing. If it's a, if it's a cream base and then you fill it with milk up to the first line of that cup.
00:29:30
Speaker
Then you put it in the blender and then you get a scoop of ice for whatever size, depending on what drink or what size it is. And then you will put in, if it's a coffee base, you'll put in coffee flavored syrup. And if it's a cream base, you put cream base in, but then you'll also put in like, if it's a double chocolate, you put mocha in and then you go get java chips and you put the java chips in and then you'll blend it up. And then it also gets like,
00:30:01
Speaker
Like there's some stuff that gets like, and sometimes they'll ask for something obscene. Like, oh, at the cold bar, we only have coconut milk and whole milk because whole milk is what we normally use for frappuccinos and coconut milk is what we use for the, like the pink drink and dragon drink and all that. So, but somebody will be like, oh yeah, I want oat milk in mine. And can you also do a shot of raspberry syrup and then some classic cane in there or like
00:30:30
Speaker
But can you also put like strawberry puree in my... So annoying. And so you have to do these like obscene recipes, especially from TikTok, which has really pissed me off. There are like all these TikTok drinks. Yeah, sorry about that. That was a bit of a rant. But that's the insider tip point. So you...
00:31:01
Speaker
Your ventis only get two shots in them. They only have two shots with espresso, but you can ask for more for more money For more money. Yes, unless I get it for you a Cold actually gets more Because for
00:31:27
Speaker
For a yeah, for an ice, it gets three, I meant it gets three. But it is what it is. Yeah, so if you want more caffeine content, get a iced, I guess. What's really fun is I will have somebody make me like a Frappuccino in the large size costume, so a Venti usually, and then I'll put like six shots of this Grasso in it.
00:31:58
Speaker
That's a lot of cash. Also, if you want really smooth coffee after Ristretto shops, it's like less water, more coffee. It's really tasty. Very smooth. It's got a fuller body, which is, that's coffee language. I mean, I don't go to Starbucks. I don't know.
00:32:26
Speaker
like it coffee-wise I don't like it. They have more than coffee, which is usually what I... Their food is not good, I'm sorry. Their food is just not good. Your right, their food is not worth the price. Starbucks food is actually trash, I'm sorry. I went to Starbucks today and I asked them. It's only good when it's free.
00:32:48
Speaker
When is the food free Connor when you have someone that okay? Yeah, okay? Yeah, I just want to try the bacon. Yeah, cuz Connor's girlfriend works there. Uh-huh, uh-huh Connor have you had the lights for what the egg bites? Mmm. No, I haven't had much of their food. I usually only get it for like I only get like fruit drinks Okay. Yeah
00:33:16
Speaker
I'll have to bring you some egg bites. They're really good. Mostly just the bacon ones, but also there's some other ones that are good. My sister really likes them, so I'll bring them home for her every once in a while. And then I'll bring home the odd frappuccino. Okay, do not try the strawberry funnel frappe. It's disgusting.
00:33:43
Speaker
It looks disgusting, but it also tastes disgusting. On the menu, it looks good. No. I was going to try it. Okay. They just don't, it doesn't go together. It doesn't go together at all. Well, you guys get those seasonal items, so you basically try it, right? Like all of you try it? Well, we don't have to try it. We can.
00:34:06
Speaker
Yeah, Starbucks does not mandate test tables. You have to taste a new product. Put it down your throat. No, I know in other fast food places, whenever a new thing comes, they want you to try it and be like, is it good? And then when people ask, is that good? They'd be like, yeah. Instead of being like, I've actually never had it. So I hate it when that happens. When you go to a restaurant, you're like, hey, is this good? And they're like, I've never had it.
00:34:36
Speaker
Go shove your hole down another hole. When I was a barista, it was a pretty simple barista at Einstein's. Oh, the premier coffee destination.
00:35:07
Speaker
Do you guys own the caribou coffee No, no, we don't own them we were partnered with them so we do all of our coffee is caribou coffee And it's like the best ever. It is really good
00:35:25
Speaker
Thankfully the coffee menu is a little more limited than Starbucks, so it's not too much of a hassle to make 20 drinks at once. Do you guys have like an espresso machine? Yeah, yeah, they were like yeah, they were like two espresso machines because there's a lot of just yeah, yeah, like yeah, but
00:35:50
Speaker
Well, I mean, most of our drinks were espresso drinks, but I mean, they weren't as far out as Starbucks goes. We pretty much just had mochas and other various flavoring lattes. Caramel coffee is pretty good. Yeah. Caramel macchiano, which is basically just a caramel latte. But you put the shots on top of the milk instead of beneath it.
00:36:24
Speaker
And then it gets caramel-driven. Doesn't it also have vanilla in it? It does have vanilla. But I never remember. I never remember, too. Even though I haven't had to make one in a while. But yeah, it does have vanilla. That's all right. I really doubt anyone notices. No, nobody does. Yeah.
00:36:48
Speaker
Although, okay, there's this one girl that worked at Starbucks and I messed up her order two separate days in a row. And then she, uh, cause she came in the drive-thru and then the third day she came in inside and she never came again. Hmm.
00:37:15
Speaker
i feel so bad i was just like i was so not intelligent in those moments and i was like as soon as i gave her the dream job i really messed up there dude i just have that song you know the
00:37:46
Speaker
You know, they're like, I do. I love that. Bro. I swear to God. It's a useful song. I swear to God. What does it take up? My computer doesn't support the new Minecraft. What? You can't play Minecraft anymore. What did you do? I would imagine he can't install.
00:38:15
Speaker
maybe a driver too. Yeah. That's depressing. That's actually sad. I mean, I'm buying a new PC eventually. Don't buy a PC. Well, I'm sorry. You're too undescribable condition.
00:38:44
Speaker
Yeah, you're too brand new working. You're too brand new working. Oh my god, it doesn't support it. Oh my god. I'm fine. Speaking of not supporting it, I have a pretty good story, which I just want to share with no transition. You have to get a new bra. Bro, I was thinking of like the same line of jokes.
00:39:09
Speaker
I was like, bro, are you telling us about your new bra or whatever? It's something I couldn't come up with fast enough. I like how Jacob was doing his set in the brain. No working guy was able to do it faster than the brain. Well, it's because I was trying to think of like a good witty line.
00:39:32
Speaker
Jacob just like I Do not see who asked
00:39:52
Speaker
yeah i i'm searching for the the fields in which i grow my friends and see that parent all right thank you for watching or listening has a story oh yeah
00:40:16
Speaker
Oh my gosh, actually, hold on. I actually want to do that. I actually want to be like, okay, I have a story. And then just read the script. Yeah, yeah. We're doing that. All right. All right. Yeah, I have a story. If you haven't heard of Audible, then you're missing out.
00:40:42
Speaker
They are the leading provider of smoking word entertainment and audio books, ranging from bestsellers to celebrity memoirs, news, business, and self-development. Every month, members get one. One could depict any title, plus two, two audible originals from a month of leasehold affection and access to the news digest, such as the Wall Street Journal,
00:41:09
Speaker
the new york times many more audible has thousands of titles podcasts guided wellness programs a-list comedies and exclusive audible originals to choose from why did you do that to my ears bro
00:41:36
Speaker
All of which can be downloaded and listened to offline via the free Audible app. Check out Audible by clicking the link in the podcast description or by going to www.audibletrial.com forward slash boys2menpodcast to get a 30-day trial which includes one credit or two if you're an Amazon Prime member.
00:41:57
Speaker
That was a wonderful story. Thank you for serenading us with that tale. I know it's as deep it was It's a little hard to tell but you know, I thought I had to put out there Yeah, you wear your heart on your sleeve That's disgusting, you know That would be a sick
00:42:23
Speaker
Mortal Kombat finish move Just rip someone's heart out and put it on I actually have a story which I want to tell what has nothing to do with a bra so calm down
TA's Unfortunate Discovery
00:42:42
Speaker
Um, it has to do with, uh, ASU, not like ASU specifically, but it happened when I was still in ASU. Cause last time we uploaded was when we were still in school. Um, basically, uh, so you guys know how at some point in college you graduate and you leave college, right? No.
00:43:10
Speaker
Sorry, I didn't mean to spoil that thing. I didn't get into that part of the book yet. All right. Yeah, spoiler alert. You graduate college at some point, at least from what I heard. And yeah. And at ASU, a lot of the people who
00:43:33
Speaker
are like seniors who are about to graduate they're mostly like TAs like they are teacher assistants and they help out and all that stuff and I uh you know I'm a nerd you know I like good grades and I figured out the best way to do that is to befriend TAs and most of them were of the male species so it's really easy because I'm also of the male species that sounds really wrong okay um moving on
00:44:01
Speaker
uh basically there's this one person uh he is a bit of like um a love bird i guess if that makes sense right he's always in and out of relationships is juggling people not juggling people he's just he's always in and out of relationships i'd imagine that would be difficult you know throwing all those people around i know they're heavy people are heavy
00:44:32
Speaker
And basically, you know, I tried to become like a good friend to this person because I kind of felt bad for him at times. Also, I wanted that good grade, whatever. Anyways, there came a point where it was almost March and school ends and maybe like a couple weeks.
00:44:59
Speaker
and you know this guy only has a couple weeks left before he graduates and he can no longer you know experience the stuff he does so um he's in a relationship with someone he tells me and he's like super excited and by the time you know stuff starts rolling school ends so you know i still have his number and and he'll like you know he'll let me know some stuff keep me in the loop and he told me this
00:45:28
Speaker
um like maybe right before school ended and i was like oh cool so school ends and it's like may like first or second week of may and he's like you know telling me how good the dates are and how he really likes his girl
00:45:46
Speaker
and you know those stories i mean there's these weird stories out there where you find the person that you're dating on these uh weird websites where weird stuff happens to that person no way no way you know you you see these stories and you're like that not that that's not real no way is that happened right um
00:46:11
Speaker
This this poor soul because he is a male he likes to go to these obscure websites It's like a hub It's like a hub for places like a specific hub and well some of the viewers might be like 12 They are 12, but this this guy was like 22 I think so, you know, he's not 12
00:46:41
Speaker
and uh that's not the point that connor's trying to make here okay he's casually just i'm trying to affirm that this guy's of age you know um you don't know why you need to simplify that he's just casually scrolling uh this this website and so this isn't my clubs that we're talking about
00:47:12
Speaker
No He's scrolling through the videos and he He sees one He goes in the detail by the way when he tells me this he goes he clicks and he's like this person looks like someone I know I don't know why He clicks on it, but he clicks on it and he sees his beloved
00:47:34
Speaker
I guess now ex-girlfriend. And she's being absolutely destroyed by this person. Must be nice. Very nice choice of words. Yeah, so. I would say that she was being given the rail. Yeah, yeah.
00:48:03
Speaker
Yeah, that train was running. Yeah. Yeah, so I didn't really know what to say at the moment.
00:48:16
Speaker
You know, like, there's not really a way to comfort him. Like, what am I supposed to... Feels bad, man. There's more fish in the water. Like, I don't really know what else to say. I mean, like, did he, like, ask her? You know, like, how long ago was it? I mean, this was like a month ago and I'm... I don't know if he asked her, but...
00:48:42
Speaker
I do it like what would you even say what hey like sends link sends the link is this you got a twin sister got a twin sister so and well yeah you at least get the sauce from him
00:49:00
Speaker
i didn't i don't want the sauce it's like for the podcast for the pot yeah it's in the link guys i'm gonna put in the link links in the description oh like like railings for buildings right like railings for like uh he's a he's a future architect yeah i love i love this knife
00:49:27
Speaker
It's actually beautiful, bro. You need to get therapy. No, I just really like this. Like, listen. I don't need therapy. Yeah, you need therapy bad.
00:49:44
Speaker
We joke on the podcast that this is our therapy, but like this is a problem. I need you to see a professional. Bro, I'm just admiring the knife I bought. So today, I was at the mall and I was with my friend Michael, my buddy Michael. Who's Michael? You have more friends than us. For legal reasons, his name is Michael. Good luck cracking that one.
00:50:22
Speaker
So we were walking he was buying a laptop so he bought the laptop and then we were walking around He did it because he's starting his own photography business which good for him. He's a good photographer Most laptops have cameras
00:50:54
Speaker
I believe you would be logically able to make a logical reason as to why he would use a laptop
00:51:09
Speaker
Yeah, but it's funnier to be, um, stupid. Inebriated. What is it? I'm gonna have to Google this shit. Oh my god. What? You actually got out of me. We made a joke that you didn't know. We didn't know you were... You actually didn't know. Jacob, inebriated is like dumb. What you are right now. No. It's like intoxicated to the point where you're dumb. Just like, hi.
00:51:39
Speaker
I am not, but regardless to the point. What was I saying? I went shopping. Yeah, you're telling a story. So I saw this anime story. And I both like anime. Is that at the mall? Yeah. You're at Arrowhead. Yeah, I've seen that thing. You've seen the anime store. I did not walk into it. Naturally, I did.
00:52:07
Speaker
And it's safe to say my wallet screamed out in pain today. But I feel like so luckily I didn't buy the Katana. The heterosexuality also screamed out. You can buy hentai? What? What? You guys are buying it? Yeah, why are you buying it, Jacob? Why are you buying it?
00:52:33
Speaker
I bought a knife. Yeah, a knife. Knife to me, you step sis. Yeah, I think we all know where this is. So I bought this knife that's quickly moving along. This knife looks like a katana.
00:52:59
Speaker
which I think is really cool and it's got like one eighth its size yeah and it's got like an ocean pattern on the blade and and then bought this necklace with the wings of freedom on it and if you know what that is you're a cool person if you don't it's it's the it doesn't have something to do with the bald eagle those are the wings of justice
00:53:24
Speaker
Wings of Justice, Wings of Jeff. I thought the Wings of Justice were Batman's wings. No, yeah, it's totally Batman. Oh, that was a joke, but anyways. And then I also, I've been looking for a Kingdom Hearts keychain for the longest, like, a year now. And all of the ones that I saw online I didn't like.
00:53:49
Speaker
and i walk in and i saw it and it was beautiful and here it is in my hand and here it is for you all to see in my in this audio podcast no it is it is absurdly loud like yeah okay i mean i understand it looks like a katana but you don't need to commit sedoku with this
00:54:18
Speaker
here i'll send it to you just let the man so it's it's a heart but it's a warped heart and it means that you're heartless and evil and i love you
00:54:30
Speaker
oh okay so you're one of those cool people but it's from it's from a video game and i thought it looked cool and it's my favorite video game just let me be okay that's fair it's not let the man enjoy his weapons it's not a state is a man not entitled to the spirit i saw a forty dollar katana on amazon and it took everything in my power to not collect torches you realize how cheap
00:54:58
Speaker
Yeah, I I looked at Ravisa of it and it's not that that it's a slightly shorter Katana, however so The one bro, okay Jacob I bought like a tanto pocket on Amazon for like $12 Like to stand ones mm-hmm like Amazon It may not look like
00:55:26
Speaker
like I don't know one that you didn't send a picture but like just look at here I'll just send you a photo now
00:55:43
Speaker
You know, if it makes you happy, Jacob, then I hope you're happy, but don't like commit Sudoku just because it looks like a katana. I don't think Jacob will do anything. I think Jacob just...
00:55:58
Speaker
likes his sharp off his new thing. His new toy. His weapon of mass destruction. Well I mean my other pocket knife got broken.
00:56:16
Speaker
When you threw it at someone. When you threw it at Ethan. Yeah, you threw it at Ethan. I know it fell out of my hand. Try to cut his Achilles tendon. It fell out of my hand. We were all there, all right. Yeah, I was like, it was one moment when my arm was behind my back with the knife in the hand. And my arm, as it extended forward in a fast manner, the knife flew out of my hand and almost hit someone else. I'm sorry, when is this?
00:56:44
Speaker
Wait no was there. No, it was it was like it was like two weeks ago. Yeah, that was a different trip. Yeah Jacob why are you holding it like that? You're holding it like Thanos you're like Perfectly balanced as all things should be at the end of my junior year I had this strange addiction of Thanos like I really like I
00:57:21
Speaker
I'm so embarrassed to say this two years ago at the end of my I Used to pull up school wearing like seven watches on my arm thinking it was funny What's seven watches? What's wrong with you seven watches? You can't tell time. What's wrong with you?
00:57:32
Speaker
I understood him. You resonated with him. I resonated with him.
00:57:40
Speaker
No, I called them the Infinity Watches. Bro, I'm 16 years old at this point, right? Like, what the fuck was I thinking? I'm 16 years old, horny out of my mind. Bro, yo, relax. This is the only thing that connected with me.
00:58:09
Speaker
I just wanted to talk about the cool knife I bought today and now look where we're at.
00:58:19
Speaker
Bro, last episode, we were talking about, we were having a good conversation. So we were having, okay. And out of nowhere, Connor goes, oh, you whipped your dick out of your own school. And that was just... That wasn't out of nowhere. I feel like there was context. No, no, it was. It was out of nowhere. Bro, Connor had these pictures ready. Connor just...
00:58:43
Speaker
Pictures. Pictures. Connor pulled these out of nowhere. I'm sorry, what photos? Oh, these photos. Oh no. In recent news, we're changing the podcast to a video format. What is this? It's explanations to why you like them.
00:59:21
Speaker
Connor has so many of these well, it's not that I own them. It's just copy paste from Blair
00:59:35
Speaker
from my cash. All right I'm eating the group chef bro. I just rather not have this to look at.
00:59:50
Speaker
Alright, yeah, like I was saying, Chica, if the knife makes you happy, then keep it, alright? And enjoy it. No, I was planning on burning it. What the f*** do you think I'm gonna do with the knife Irish? I don't know, kill someone? It's my new daily. Daily what? Knife? Do what? I think I'm like the next Zodiac Killer? Like, I don't... I don't know, I like to have a knife on me first.
01:00:20
Speaker
Okay You guys not notice how I always had my previous pocket knife on what bro, I Alright Connor, that's enough. That's enough bro. Okay. Anyways, I always used to have a pop The silence is too loud
01:00:48
Speaker
So as I was so I actually I was hanging out with some friends on Sunday I want to say and I saw this dragon knife and I wanted to buy that but Wait, hold up. You have friends outside of us three Surprisingly, but not very many. Oh, okay. Cool. I Wouldn't say that actually okay. I have I
01:01:14
Speaker
okay we talked about this last in the last episode the problem is is it's always nice to have like a good group of close friends instead of a lot of friends who give like zero i don't want to say that i have little amount of friends but i don't want to say that i have a lot of friends because that just makes me seem cocky nor do i want to say i have an adequate amount of friends or the perfect amount because i'll be rude to anyone else who comes into my life therefore i'm just going to say
01:01:42
Speaker
That literally doesn't make any sense. You're just high. I feel like that makes a decent amount of sense. It may be. I can understand that. But I didn't get the, it's rude to the new. If I say that I have the adequate or perfect amount of friends in my life.
01:02:04
Speaker
that would be rude to anyone else who then comes into that and changes that. Because then someone would think, oh, now I have too many friends. Does that make sense? Having an adequate amount and getting more doesn't change that adequacy.
01:02:24
Speaker
You know? I don't know. I mean, to some people it might. A lot of people think very particularly in specific ways. If you have a four-liter bottle and you try to pour five liters in there, where does the other liter of water go? Okay. I think we understand the imagery. I mean, I guess I get it. I just, I don't know.
01:02:49
Speaker
But realistically, I do it more for the sake of precaution and interpretation rather than for my own sake. Well, I guess it is for my own sake that I'm not interpreted incorrectly, but regardless to the point. You're both wonderful people. Among us. Among us in real life.
01:03:16
Speaker
Bro, there were Among Us plushies at the store too, and I think it took everything to not buy it. My guy, that would've gone straight to the keychain, bro, straight to the car. I would've put it on my car window, not my window, the mirror. We'd just hang. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna buy an Among Us plushie and hang it on my mirror. Now that, that would be an alpha chat booth.
01:03:42
Speaker
And once again, the silence is deafening. So, Connor, you got any stories? Well, any stories? I mean, that's what this episode's about, I guess. I just figured we've already gone. You've been anywhere done anything? Botany, weird plushie that looks like a certain animal?
01:04:08
Speaker
In fact that is named Jacob jr. Oddly specific question might actually be related to a story that I may Be telling right now. That's crazy So yeah this past week I went to California and Stayed at my grandparents house and it was pretty fun. I went with my girlfriend and we did I
01:04:35
Speaker
Uh, we did a couple of things there. We hung out and had some fun. Connor, what the fuck is this? I don't think he even told us yet.
Monterey Bay Aquarium Adventure
01:04:46
Speaker
So the first day we went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, which is pretty cool. It's a nice place, especially for people who love sea animals and marine life. But even I, the average person
01:05:03
Speaker
enjoyed spending time there and it was really cool. There were a lot of different animals and I think it's cool to watch them all just live their own lives. And at the end of it, I went in their gift shop and I saw this giant stuffed animal of an octopus and I realized that I needed it in my life because it was just an amazing creature, a sight to behold really.
01:05:30
Speaker
So I went ahead and purchased this octopus stuffed animal and I'm happy with my purchase. He has satisfied me in... Yo, bro, relax. What them tentacles do you feel? I need to stop talking, bro.
01:05:51
Speaker
Okay. Well, thanks for watching this. No, no, I refuse to end another episode of this man. I refuse. I know. Jacob is changing in season six clearly. So yeah, for anyone who didn't know, Jacob drives a car with a continuously variable transmission.
01:06:12
Speaker
It's not a real car. For those of you who aren't aware, I drive a 2013 Chevrolet Volt. However, the battery part does not work, so I can't charge the car, so it only functions on gas. I could save others from gas, but not himself. Oh my gosh, what? Okay, Thanos.
01:06:42
Speaker
It's just facts. It's just facts. So I am planning on selling the car. However, purchasing the car has been quite the task that I've been doing for the past, like since January now, so past five, six months. It's been quite the arduous process, but hopefully we're getting there.
01:07:00
Speaker
I got hit and run like last week too. I didn't say that, I don't think. I was at a gas station at 10P. It wasn't exactly like a hit and run, but this guy was like basically flooring it at me while I was pulling out of the gas station. And naturally when someone is driving very quickly in your direction, what is your first instinct? Pull out your gun. To drive into a wall. What'd you do, Jacob?
01:07:28
Speaker
Uh, your first instinct is to get out of the path of said driver. And in doing so, I unfortunately scraped against, you know, the, you know, like the, the cement poles that they have next to the gas station. So you don't actually hit the, like the gas station. Hmm. So when you say you hit a wall. Not exactly more just like scrape scraped against something.
01:07:57
Speaker
Wait, so the guy didn't actually hit you and run away. You just saw him drove it to Jacob Jacob himself and the other guy ran away Um to put it simply if I had not moved my car, I would have definitely been hit. So If you haven't bro for the cone bro instinct Okay, I don't know what to tell you you clearly don't have any
01:08:24
Speaker
Your instinct is not to get a better car with your money. I'm kidding. So I'm still selling the car. It's going to like depreciate the value by a couple of hundred dollars. The things that piece of shit anyways, it's not going to sell for that much. I'm selling it to a scrapyard company. Huh? Yeah, I broke.
01:08:53
Speaker
I was driving to Black Canyon City a couple of days ago and there was this truck on my ass. And if it weren't for the fact that my car was full, I would've just break checked the shit out of that motherfucker. We love insurance, Fred. I mean, who doesn't? Stick it to the insurance. Probably Flo from Progressive. What am I paying Flo for? What are we paying Flo for?
01:09:20
Speaker
Like it's illegal to not have an insured car, right? Yeah. Pretty much. Basically. Yeah. In some places. What places are those? Alabama. You want to sing the signs? No. Okay. Sweet home Alabama.
01:09:46
Speaker
We just got copyrighted. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry for interrupting Connor. Please continue original. Oh yeah. Something about pleasing. Wait, actually I have a question. Yeah. Pleasing your octopus. When you were at the aquarium, you said that you enjoyed looking at the animals in their habitat. Is that what you said? Yeah. Is that really their habitat?
01:10:12
Speaker
I guess I didn't say their habitat. I said like in their Living their lives. I said I enjoyed watching them live their lives. Do you think they're living their lives the fullest? Um, maybe probably I doubt they fully understand what is happening. Jacob do you really think you're free? Do you really think you're not in captivity? I don't honestly bro
01:10:35
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know one is free We are bound by the chains of reality and we're drawn down by every struggle and pain that come by It's time to set a revolution. It's crazy, bro. I Usually is completely right with none of us are born free and Wait, what? Okay. I Don't care what America says fucking me. I actually don't because I I want to keep living there for a little bit more
01:11:04
Speaker
A little bit more. He enjoys his God-given rights, surprisingly. Just for a little bit more, please. No, you just have to make money so you can go back to Mexico and turn all on the faces. And then have a tenth of the work he has now. No, he's like a racist big guy, I promise. No, no, you're just calling me out. You want to go back to Mexico, don't you?
01:11:33
Speaker
What do you mean, back? What do you mean, back? Yeah, I guess he never really like- He never left Mexico. Yeah, he just played the US and- The thing is, if you're not in with the cartels, there's no way to really live a good life in Mexico. Yes, there is. How? The government's run by the cartels, Jacob. You know what? Say what you want to say. Well, Jacob- I hear no dispute.
01:12:01
Speaker
an amazing life in Mexico. I mean, if you can plan on living in Cancun, that might be a little difficult. I sure hope my father lives in good fulfilling rest of his life when he moves to Mexico, which might be sooner rather than later. So, you know, my dad also can't decide on what car he wants to buy once he does. Isn't he getting a Cybertruck? Well, now he also put in a pre-order for the Florida Lightning.
01:12:30
Speaker
Oh, F-150? Come on. And he's been looking at, like, jaguars and, like, mustangs. Yeah, I was about to say. Get a jaguar. And I think my dad's going through his midlife. No, no, no. Tell him. How old is he? To get that jaguar. Because jaguars. Jags are sick, dude. Jags are sick. My dad turns 60 June 15th. That's nice. Nice. That's mine, too, pretty much. Tell me, like, an F-type. F-types are sick.
01:13:00
Speaker
Mm-hmm or like those old Oh, yeah old jags are oh like like the 90s Yeah, I still I still want the Mitsubishi I'm gonna be I'm not getting in your car Jacob. Why not? Because I actually kind of want to go places instead of just staying stuck on the side of the road
01:13:28
Speaker
Well, how am I going to get to your house to pick you up? Oh, yeah, you're right. So you're just going to buy a car and leave at home knowing it's not going to go anywhere. If I am capable of driving from my house to your house, I'm sure I'll be able to drive from your house. Jacob, I already told you you're not free. You are bound by the chains of reality. And reality is telling you to not buy a Mitsubishi because you're not free. It's crazy, bro.
01:13:58
Speaker
It's crazy. We're just living. And like, you know what? Cut this part. It's a desperate autism versus an unfair reality. Optimism. Optism. It's desperate. I have desperate options. That sounds like a soap opera. It's the desperate autism.
01:14:25
Speaker
I actually sound like a weird, like, dating show. Like, Love Island is a desperate optism. Are we saying optism or autism? I accidentally said optism, but I meant to say optimism. I heard autism. That's fair. It's quite difficult to say opt and ought. Optimistic? Optimist?
01:14:58
Speaker
This is what the boys from the podcast has become and quite honestly I'm all here for it. This is great. We'll probably cut this section out Honestly, I don't I don't I don't mind that I'm with you brother. We've been recording for an hour 30, but as I was saying I do want to get the Mitsubishi I'm gonna be honest with you, bro
01:15:23
Speaker
mileage isn't that much worse than the volt with without the battery so you know yeah all right we can even let Noah Connor finish his story yeah that's right there wasn't much to tell it was just
01:15:45
Speaker
Pretty peaceful time in the woods Just enjoying life off the grid, you know Off the good being really free Yeah Well, thanks for watching we're gonna let you decide
01:16:13
Speaker
are we actually free are we actually free if you think you are just remind yourself that your opinion has no meaning and that you are always a failure because life will always do that to you listen everyone's entitled to their own opinion even if they're wrong no they're not yeah that's that's the thing everyone is allowed to be as wrong as they want to be as long as what is long like they're like they're junk
01:16:43
Speaker
What? No, I was wrong. I said it was wrong. That is how we're ending the podcast. So remember, it's free real estate. Keep your dong long and your life long.
01:17:07
Speaker
Every dong is forever. Oh man.