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PGW 39: 2025 Bingo Card! (Feat. Spencer Smith)
4 Plays8 months ago
The boys discuss the insanity of the Robbie Williams biopic Better Man before going in depth on their predictions for the new year.
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Transcript
Introduction and 2025 Bingo Card
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello, dear listener.
00:00:01
Speaker
This is Red with a quick update before the podcast.
00:00:04
Speaker
This episode was recorded January 9th in which the boys do our 2025 bingo card.
00:00:09
Speaker
In this episode, I reference what I had hoped to be an upcoming David Lynch project.
David Lynch Projects and Legacy
00:00:14
Speaker
At the time, we had not heard anything about his declining health outside of his emphysema diagnosis.
00:00:18
Speaker
And since then, we have unfortunately lost the late great master.
00:00:22
Speaker
The next episode of this podcast will be an entire episode dedicated to the man we all adore, talking about some of our favorite films from him and his legacy.
00:00:30
Speaker
But thank you for listening to this episode, and I hope you enjoy the show.
00:00:36
Speaker
Maddie says she's going to watch Law & Order and wants you to know because you're law or order, whichever one you want.
00:00:42
Speaker
Order is the cops, Joe.
00:00:44
Speaker
Or he's neither.
00:00:45
Speaker
Yeah, maybe
Podcast Hosts and Content Overview
00:00:47
Speaker
neither.
00:00:47
Speaker
What the chaos?
00:00:49
Speaker
So Paddington Gone Wild, the internet's only law and order, and Robbie Williams fan cast.
00:00:54
Speaker
I am one of your hosts, Red Rankin, joined as always by my illustrious co-hosts, my dear friend, Mr. Joe Neal Hayes.
00:01:01
Speaker
What's up?
00:01:02
Speaker
I'm a fucking monkey.
00:01:05
Speaker
Jesus Christ.
00:01:06
Speaker
Mr. Austin Inglis.
00:01:08
Speaker
For the next hour and a half, you're mine.
00:01:11
Speaker
I'm about to make Tracy Jordan's follow-up, Fat Bitch 2, coming at you.
00:01:19
Speaker
And he's also working on that porn game.
00:01:21
Speaker
Yeah, I'm working on that porn game.
00:01:22
Speaker
Thomas Jefferson superfan, Mr. Zach.
00:01:26
Speaker
I'm loving angels instead.
00:01:30
Speaker
And we have brought on a guest, a dear friend of all of ours, Mr. Spencer Smith Esquire.
00:01:36
Speaker
Spencer, how the hell are you?
00:01:39
Speaker
I am great.
00:01:39
Speaker
Happy to be here.
00:01:41
Speaker
I became an attorney to help people and also to afford jet skis.
00:01:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:46
Speaker
That's the main reason.
00:01:48
Speaker
Understood.
Shadow the Hedgehog Discussion
00:01:49
Speaker
Understood.
00:01:53
Speaker
My guy.
00:01:53
Speaker
There's a really cool mission in Sonic 06 where Shadow the Hedgehog rides a jet ski.
00:02:04
Speaker
Good, good.
00:02:05
Speaker
Joe, did you play the Shadow the Hedgehog game on Xbox, Joe?
00:02:08
Speaker
I played on the GameCube and I got in trouble because I rented it from Blockbuster and Shadow the Hedgehog, whenever he gets hit, goes...
00:02:18
Speaker
It's insanely edgy.
00:02:20
Speaker
No, I love it.
00:02:20
Speaker
It's very edgy.
00:02:21
Speaker
Shadow uses a gun.
00:02:22
Speaker
He's not afraid to fucking shoot.
00:02:24
Speaker
Yeah, dude.
00:02:25
Speaker
My mom got mad at me because there was guns in it and I was not allowed to play Halo.
00:02:29
Speaker
I had the speaking of lawyers.
00:02:31
Speaker
I had to give my mom a very convincing argument on why it was OK for me to play Halo because there wasn't any people that you shot.
00:02:39
Speaker
It was only aliens.
00:02:40
Speaker
Yeah, that didn't that didn't fly with Karen K. Ingalls.
00:02:43
Speaker
She was not having it.
00:02:47
Speaker
Listener, this episode is not about Halo or Shadow the Hedgehog or Sonic 06.
Robbie Williams Biopic and Cultural Recognition
00:02:53
Speaker
Could be.
00:02:53
Speaker
This is an episode about our 2025 bingo card.
00:02:56
Speaker
But before we talk about our 2025 bingo card, we have to talk about the new Robbie Williams biopic that Spencer had the joy, misfortune, whatever you want to call it, of seeing at a secret screening at Cinemark.
00:03:14
Speaker
And for the record, none of the other four of us have not seen this, right?
00:03:19
Speaker
No, I don't really have an intention to.
00:03:22
Speaker
I think I'm going to go.
00:03:24
Speaker
Can I be honest?
00:03:27
Speaker
I did not know who this person was before seeing this trailer.
00:03:30
Speaker
I had never heard that name.
00:03:31
Speaker
I just knew this song that I sang when Red introduced me, Angels.
00:03:35
Speaker
It's great.
00:03:36
Speaker
I did not know who that was at all.
00:03:38
Speaker
He's apparently one of the biggest pop stars in the history of the UK.
00:03:42
Speaker
I only know the name.
00:03:43
Speaker
But I also only know Champagne Supernova.
00:03:46
Speaker
They say Oasis is the biggest band of all time.
00:03:48
Speaker
Shut the fuck up.
00:03:50
Speaker
They say Oasis is the biggest band of all time, and I'm like, no, they're not.
00:03:53
Speaker
Okay, so the funny thing that happened when A Better Man was coming out is that, like, on TikTok, Americans were commenting in the trailer, like, who the fuck is Robbie Williams?
00:04:04
Speaker
And British people genuinely thought Americans were joking.
00:04:07
Speaker
Well, here's the thing.
00:04:08
Speaker
They were like, how the fuck do you not know who Robbie Williams is?
00:04:11
Speaker
We have to get to Spencer's reaction, but my understanding from what I've seen is that, like...
00:04:15
Speaker
the way white people in America sing Mr. Brightside at every single wedding or function, like the equivalent in the UK is singing Angels by Robbie Williams.
00:04:24
Speaker
Okay.
00:04:25
Speaker
Or going, oi, oi, oi, I need some beans on me toast.
00:04:28
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:04:31
Speaker
And then they go and harass all the Indian people that live there.
00:04:35
Speaker
The British lost the Revolutionary War.
00:04:37
Speaker
I don't need to fucking know who Robbie Williams is, and I don't need to listen to Oasis.
00:04:41
Speaker
Sorry.
00:04:41
Speaker
The Boston Tea Party happened.
00:04:43
Speaker
You need to listen to Oasis because Oasis rips, and you're wrong.
00:04:46
Speaker
Why listen to Oasis when we have pavement?
00:04:49
Speaker
They're very different bands.
00:04:53
Speaker
One of them's American.
00:04:54
Speaker
That's all I fucking need.
00:04:56
Speaker
Very different bands.
Secret Screenings and Monkey Man Movie
00:04:58
Speaker
Spence, tell me about this movie, dude.
00:05:00
Speaker
Sorry, Spence.
00:05:01
Speaker
No, it's all good.
00:05:02
Speaker
How did this come to be?
00:05:03
Speaker
How did you end up seeing this flick?
00:05:05
Speaker
Honestly, so I'm sitting at work on Monday and I'm like, I need something to do tonight.
00:05:09
Speaker
So I get on Cinemark to see if anything is good out.
00:05:11
Speaker
And I see secret movie screening and that it's a rated R movie.
00:05:15
Speaker
And I was like, okay, it's not going to be, it can't be something that stupid.
00:05:19
Speaker
Right.
00:05:20
Speaker
And they do these movies that have not come out widely yet.
00:05:23
Speaker
Right.
00:05:23
Speaker
Right.
00:05:24
Speaker
So it tells you, Hey, this movie is not really out.
00:05:26
Speaker
It's five bucks.
00:05:27
Speaker
So I was like, fuck it.
00:05:29
Speaker
$5.
00:05:29
Speaker
It's worth the surprise.
00:05:31
Speaker
If I hate the movie, I'll just walk out.
00:05:33
Speaker
And at least I got surprised.
00:05:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:35
Speaker
When I told, I texted Red and our buddy Hayden about it and Hayden's like, oh, I bet it's that Monkey Man movie.
00:05:43
Speaker
And in my head, I was like, didn't the movie Monkey Man already come out?
00:05:47
Speaker
Correct.
00:05:48
Speaker
So I was like, what the fuck is Hayden talking about?
00:05:50
Speaker
I just like didn't even think of the fact that this movie existed.
00:05:55
Speaker
So I get to the theater.
00:05:56
Speaker
I didn't think there's going to be any previews, but then the lovely Maria Menounos pops up on the screen.
00:06:01
Speaker
God bless her.
00:06:02
Speaker
The evergreen Maria Menounos.
00:06:06
Speaker
Eventually.
00:06:07
Speaker
So obviously you go to the previews.
00:06:08
Speaker
Movie starts.
00:06:10
Speaker
And it's just like music going and the Paramount logo.
00:06:13
Speaker
And I'm like, okay, this looks kind of cool.
00:06:15
Speaker
And then there's a fucking chimpanzee playing soccer with a bunch of kids.
00:06:20
Speaker
And I was like, oh, Jesus.
00:06:24
Speaker
It is the Monkey Man movie.
00:06:25
Speaker
I forgot it existed, which I guess it's called Better Man, which I learned after the fact.
00:06:31
Speaker
Oh, man.
00:06:33
Speaker
There was a moment there where I was like, I'm going to go home.
00:06:38
Speaker
I got my surprise.
00:06:40
Speaker
Honestly, if I knew it was that movie, I wouldn't have paid to see it.
00:06:42
Speaker
I really had no intention of seeing the movie.
00:06:45
Speaker
But then the first five minutes were intriguing enough where basically all these little British kids start making fun of this monkey because he sucks at soccer.
00:06:54
Speaker
LAUGHTER
00:06:56
Speaker
Definitely going to see me.
00:06:57
Speaker
And I was like, you know, this is entertaining enough.
00:07:01
Speaker
Sure.
00:07:02
Speaker
So I stuck around.
00:07:03
Speaker
There was moments in it, too, where I got a little taken out of it, and I thought about going home.
00:07:08
Speaker
But Red encouraged me to stay, and I was like, I'll do this just for Red.
00:07:11
Speaker
And I'm glad I did, but we
Animal Themes and CGI in Movies
00:07:13
Speaker
can get into it.
00:07:13
Speaker
Doesn't the monkey go on a, like, a...
00:07:18
Speaker
A little bit of a drunk driving escapade.
00:07:21
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:07:22
Speaker
A very intense one.
00:07:23
Speaker
Oh, God.
00:07:24
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:07:25
Speaker
Very intense.
00:07:26
Speaker
And when I was thinking about things I liked about it and things I didn't like about it, honestly, there's some moments where you're like, man, this is really emotionally challenging.
00:07:36
Speaker
Like, this guy had some serious drug issues.
00:07:39
Speaker
Like,
00:07:40
Speaker
He's leaving his family, ruining his relationships because he's doing all these drugs.
00:07:44
Speaker
Then you take a step back and you're like, it's a fucking chimpanzee sorting cocaine in the bathroom.
00:07:51
Speaker
That's sick.
00:07:51
Speaker
I don't feel bad.
00:07:53
Speaker
I'm pretty sure Robbie Williams backed his decision saying that the choice to make it a monkey huffing mountains of cocaine would make it more empathetic.
00:08:02
Speaker
He's like, you just don't want to say that, mate.
00:08:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:04
Speaker
Not at all.
00:08:05
Speaker
Did you guys see that PETA fucking infographic they posted where it was all the animals smoking cigarettes and it was like, it looks just as dumb on them.
00:08:14
Speaker
And everyone was like, no, it's not.
00:08:15
Speaker
They look fucking cool.
00:08:17
Speaker
It looks sick.
00:08:20
Speaker
I'll be honest.
00:08:20
Speaker
If I saw a monkey snorting coke, I'd be like, I don't know.
00:08:22
Speaker
Maybe I should give it a shot.
00:08:25
Speaker
Yeah, right.
00:08:25
Speaker
It looked really cool when he was doing it.
00:08:27
Speaker
I'm not going to lie.
00:08:29
Speaker
I mean, that literally, but then like, nope would happen.
00:08:33
Speaker
Like the scene in, like if a monkey snorted coke, he would then rip your limbs off.
00:08:37
Speaker
Like if a chimp snorted coke.
00:08:38
Speaker
Coke monkey is so much more of an interesting movie than cocaine bear.
00:08:42
Speaker
Cocaine bear.
00:08:43
Speaker
Yeah, dude.
00:08:44
Speaker
But also to be fair, that movie could have been good if literally anyone else directed it.
00:08:48
Speaker
Yeah, was it Elizabeth Banks who made it?
00:08:51
Speaker
Yes.
00:08:52
Speaker
Ray Liotta's last performance.
00:08:55
Speaker
That sucks, man.
00:08:56
Speaker
That fucking sucks, man.
00:08:58
Speaker
He had a lot of stinkers along their way.
00:08:59
Speaker
It should end with one.
00:09:01
Speaker
Did you enjoy a better man?
00:09:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:05
Speaker
That's the best review you could have ever given?
00:09:09
Speaker
I mean, I did.
00:09:10
Speaker
There was moments that took me... The moments where they were trying to be...
00:09:15
Speaker
emotional about his relationship with his girlfriend, I didn't care because I was like, this is a chimpanzee and a girl.
00:09:23
Speaker
This is weird.
00:09:25
Speaker
I don't like this and I don't care about it.
00:09:28
Speaker
For some reason, it did not agree.
00:09:31
Speaker
Uh, there's a scene where three naked women laying on his bed.
00:09:35
Speaker
And I was like, man, I think this is how Magic Johnson got AIDS.
00:09:37
Speaker
So that was a weird scene.
00:09:46
Speaker
This chimp's about to contract HIV.
00:09:48
Speaker
Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:09:52
Speaker
I was like, those women definitely went to a Lakers party later.
00:09:55
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:09:56
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:09:57
Speaker
They were in a hotel room with Don Henley an hour later.
00:10:00
Speaker
He was blowing coke into their asses.
00:10:04
Speaker
No sex scenes.
00:10:05
Speaker
Oddly enough, the relationship with his grandmother... I guess it was just the romantic relationship didn't click with me.
00:10:12
Speaker
His familiar relationships were fine.
00:10:14
Speaker
The relationship he has with his grandmother is actually like
00:10:17
Speaker
pretty touching.
00:10:18
Speaker
Yeah, I can see that.
00:10:20
Speaker
She, like, has Alzheimer's, so, like, while he is out doing all sorts of drugs, she's at home just wanting to see her grandchild and losing her memory.
00:10:30
Speaker
And then there comes a point where he, like, once he goes through rehab and he realizes, shit, she's dead and I just missed all this.
00:10:36
Speaker
Like, that hit pretty hard as far as, like, the emotional stuff is concerned.
00:10:41
Speaker
But any of the just, like,
00:10:43
Speaker
romantic relationships.
00:10:45
Speaker
No, I couldn't do that.
00:10:46
Speaker
Watching a CGI chimp kiss this woman, it's just like, no.
00:10:51
Speaker
CGI could?
00:10:52
Speaker
Yeah, that's it.
00:10:55
Speaker
It didn't look bad.
00:10:55
Speaker
I mean, it was probably not as good as the Planet of the Apes movies, but it wasn't bad.
00:10:59
Speaker
Fair.
00:11:01
Speaker
That's their whole mission in the Planet of the Apes movies.
00:11:04
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:11:04
Speaker
He bleached his hair at one point, and he shaved his head, but the rest of his monkey body still had hair on it.
00:11:10
Speaker
Just not his head.
00:11:13
Speaker
That was interesting.
00:11:14
Speaker
He's just like Stripe from Gremlins.
00:11:17
Speaker
Oh, that's really... That's intriguing, though.
00:11:21
Speaker
And they did enough of his self-doubt.
00:11:25
Speaker
They tried to make it visible.
00:11:26
Speaker
While he was on stage, there was different versions of himself that he would have flashes of in the crowd looking at him like, you're not good enough for this.
00:11:35
Speaker
I don't know.
00:11:36
Speaker
It was interesting.
00:11:37
Speaker
It was kind of cool because there was just different versions of the chimp, honestly.
00:11:40
Speaker
Do you think...
00:11:43
Speaker
Do you think the movie would have been more or less effective if they had just cast an actor?
Animal-Starring Biopic Brainstorm
00:11:49
Speaker
Probably better if it was just an actor.
00:11:51
Speaker
Just because you would have less distance to cross.
00:11:56
Speaker
To be fair, do you think any of us would be talking about it if it was just the Robbie Williams movie?
00:12:01
Speaker
No.
00:12:02
Speaker
They would still both be, in my opinion, probably three and a half star movies.
00:12:06
Speaker
Just for different reasons.
00:12:07
Speaker
That's a pretty good review.
00:12:09
Speaker
It honestly wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.
00:12:13
Speaker
Just in the middle when he started dating this girl, I was like, I don't care.
00:12:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:19
Speaker
I only saw the only thing I've seen from it is the like in the street dance scene after he joins the boy band or whatever, where they're like, they like shot it practically.
00:12:28
Speaker
And it's like a one take actually kind of looked pretty sick.
00:12:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:33
Speaker
The final scene is pretty good too.
00:12:35
Speaker
Like he re he basically rekindles his relationship with his dad and they sing Frank Sinatra, my way on stage in front of everybody.
00:12:42
Speaker
And that's like the song they grew up singing together.
00:12:45
Speaker
That's kind of the beginning.
00:12:46
Speaker
So like, that was a cool scene.
00:12:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:48
Speaker
Um,
00:12:49
Speaker
But no, all the drug stuff just took me out of it.
00:12:53
Speaker
I don't feel bad for him.
00:12:53
Speaker
He looks cool doing this.
00:12:57
Speaker
Fair enough.
00:12:58
Speaker
Monkeys are cool.
00:12:59
Speaker
That's just a fact.
00:13:00
Speaker
I mean, yeah.
00:13:03
Speaker
We posed a question to you and the rest of us because I want to think through and imagine if you had to create, and I initially said a music biopic, but I think it's funnier to also include a regular biopic where you swap out the main subject for any animal.
00:13:23
Speaker
Which one would you choose and what animal would you choose?
00:13:27
Speaker
Because I have mine locked and loaded.
00:13:29
Speaker
I was thinking about this in the car on the way home today.
00:13:33
Speaker
I want to take the film 8 Mile and I want to replace Eminem just with a lizard.
00:13:41
Speaker
Like fucking Randall from Monsters, Inc.?
00:13:44
Speaker
Or like Rango?
00:13:46
Speaker
Like closer to Rango?
00:13:50
Speaker
Oh, or the fucking Geico Gecko.
00:13:52
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:13:53
Speaker
There you go.
00:13:55
Speaker
This guy's a gangster.
00:13:56
Speaker
His real name is Clarence.
00:14:01
Speaker
I got vomit on my sweater already.
00:14:07
Speaker
Go ahead, Spence.
00:14:08
Speaker
No, I don't want to, if you're still talking about Eminem and the lizard, I don't want to just.
00:14:11
Speaker
I was just going to give my pitch for a, for a biopic with an animal, but you go ahead and then I'll get mine.
00:14:16
Speaker
I don't know the animal yet, but I know Michael Jackson and I know the animal is the albino version in the second half.
00:14:26
Speaker
There you go.
00:14:27
Speaker
I like that.
00:14:28
Speaker
I like that very much.
00:14:29
Speaker
I think we should do a Ramones biopic, but they're played by the penguins of Madagascar.
00:14:34
Speaker
oh yeah okay that is actually fantastic that's a really good idea that's a really good idea i really like that i think i would do um fdr oh um an fdr biopic sorry but it's just a donkey in a wheelchair
00:14:56
Speaker
my first thought when you said fdr was turtle for some reason yeah or it could be a turtle but no
2025 Celebrity Predictions and Speculations
00:15:03
Speaker
you but teddy would be played by a turtle like a big old tortoise like a big old fucking cranky ass turtle yeah he's hitting people yeah fdr would just be a calm a calm mule in a fucking wheelchair like clint eastwood yeah exactly the mule himself
00:15:21
Speaker
I didn't have anything pre-ready for this, but what just popped in my head is a flamingo representation of Lenny Kravitz.
00:15:28
Speaker
Is there similarly going to be a moment where his pants rip open and his cock comes out?
00:15:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:36
Speaker
That's the climax of the movie.
00:15:43
Speaker
I would also like to suggest Oppenheimer, but you just switch out Killian Murphy for a dolphin.
00:15:52
Speaker
that would be interesting okay that'd be interesting i could see it i could see it i could see it what if uh what if we did a mel gibson biopic but it's just a bald eagle yeah he's not even american
00:16:06
Speaker
But he has it in his soul, Joe.
00:16:08
Speaker
That's true.
00:16:09
Speaker
That's true.
00:16:09
Speaker
That's true.
00:16:10
Speaker
That kind of racism does not come from other countries.
00:16:13
Speaker
That's American-born.
00:16:15
Speaker
That level of anti-Semitism is purely American.
00:16:19
Speaker
Isn't Mel Gibson kind of beefing with the papacy right now?
00:16:24
Speaker
I'm sure.
00:16:26
Speaker
Probably.
00:16:27
Speaker
What if we did a Sylvester Stallone biopic, but it's just like a CGI sloth?
00:16:34
Speaker
Oh, we could do a Sylvester Stallone biopic where I shoot him in the face with a gun at the end.
00:16:40
Speaker
Joe, did you see that he wrote that movie that you sent us the trailer for?
00:16:45
Speaker
Which movie did I see the trailer for?
00:16:47
Speaker
The new David Ayer Jason Statham movie.
00:16:49
Speaker
The screenplay is by Sylvester Stallone.
00:16:51
Speaker
Yes.
00:16:52
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:16:53
Speaker
Is that his most recent writing credit before that?
00:16:57
Speaker
The Rocky movies?
00:17:01
Speaker
Maybe he did some writing on like the Expendables or something.
00:17:04
Speaker
Yeah, I think he did.
00:17:05
Speaker
I think he gets a writing credit.
00:17:06
Speaker
He gets a writing credit on Creed 2.
00:17:08
Speaker
He's the sole screenplay credit, Joe.
00:17:12
Speaker
I'm sure he wrote it.
00:17:13
Speaker
And I did air quotes for the listener.
00:17:17
Speaker
I mean, Rocky is a well-written movie.
00:17:19
Speaker
Now, Sylvester Stallone today, I don't think, could write a great movie.
00:17:23
Speaker
But he wrote a good screenplay at one point in his life.
00:17:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:28
Speaker
He wrote multiple episodes of Tulsa King.
00:17:31
Speaker
Oh, nice.
00:17:31
Speaker
He wrote Rambo Last Blood.
00:17:32
Speaker
That show sucks dog ass.
00:17:34
Speaker
He wrote Rambo Last Blood.
00:17:35
Speaker
Okay.
00:17:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:37
Speaker
There's a scene in Tulsa King where Stallone literally is like, no, what the heck of pronouns?
00:17:47
Speaker
And he wrote that line for himself.
00:17:49
Speaker
Basically, I don't, that's, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm quoting from memory, but that's pretty close to what he said.
00:17:56
Speaker
I mean, that's Taylor Sheridan dialogue for you, buddy.
00:17:58
Speaker
That's so sick.
00:17:59
Speaker
That's just, that's just how it goes.
00:18:00
Speaker
You know?
00:18:01
Speaker
Well, what are you going to do?
00:18:02
Speaker
We're going to let you go.
00:18:03
Speaker
But before we do, we ask every guest who comes on the show to give us their Akira Kurosawa high and low, the best media they consume that week and the worst media they consume that week.
00:18:11
Speaker
It doesn't have to be the last week because you're a guest.
00:18:13
Speaker
So whatever comes to mind of recent memory.
00:18:17
Speaker
Okay.
00:18:18
Speaker
My low is the Georgia football game because I just constantly get disappointed by my teams.
00:18:23
Speaker
And it is what it is.
00:18:25
Speaker
Hoping Notre Dame wins it all at this point.
00:18:27
Speaker
But who knows?
00:18:28
Speaker
We'll see what happens.
00:18:29
Speaker
Is that tonight?
00:18:30
Speaker
That is tonight.
00:18:31
Speaker
Notre Dame can take off in about 10 minutes.
00:18:33
Speaker
Okay, great.
00:18:33
Speaker
Shout out to the dumbass fans that showed up to the wrong place.
00:18:36
Speaker
Where'd they go?
00:18:39
Speaker
They showed up to the Orange Bowl.
00:18:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:41
Speaker
Oh, my.
00:18:45
Speaker
Yeah, that was just a shitty game.
00:18:46
Speaker
It wasn't fun at all.
00:18:48
Speaker
Our team looked horrendous, and I was really looking forward to it, and it just let me down.
00:18:52
Speaker
Yeah, show it out to Barcy Beck.
00:18:55
Speaker
Yep.
00:18:56
Speaker
My high.
00:18:57
Speaker
Last night, I watched the original Den of Thieves for the first time.
00:19:02
Speaker
To see Pantera.
00:19:03
Speaker
Let's go.
00:19:04
Speaker
We're going on Sunday, baby.
00:19:05
Speaker
I got more chemicals in my body.
00:19:07
Speaker
I got enough chemicals in my body to turn the Gaza Strip to a pride parade.
00:19:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:12
Speaker
That's such a bar, it's crazy.
00:19:16
Speaker
When that line came up, I literally had to pause and go, what?
00:19:23
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:19:24
Speaker
I just love dirty, gritty Gerard Butler.
00:19:30
Speaker
He's amazing.
00:19:31
Speaker
You're going to divorce me?
00:19:33
Speaker
You're going to divorce me and marry someone else?
00:19:35
Speaker
Not on my fucking watch.
00:19:40
Speaker
He's spectacular.
00:19:42
Speaker
Well, Spence, we love you.
00:19:43
Speaker
Thanks for coming on the show, brother.
00:19:44
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:19:45
Speaker
If you guys actually go see Monkey Man, Better Man, whatever it's called, I want to hear your thoughts.
00:19:51
Speaker
We will definitely report back.
00:19:53
Speaker
Beautiful.
00:19:54
Speaker
All right.
00:19:54
Speaker
See you, fellas.
00:19:55
Speaker
See you, Spence.
00:19:56
Speaker
Adios.
00:19:58
Speaker
I'm going to go piss real quick.
00:20:00
Speaker
All right.
00:20:00
Speaker
I'm going to pause the recording then.
00:20:01
Speaker
Okay.
Bingo Card Predictions for 2025
00:20:05
Speaker
And we're back.
00:20:05
Speaker
We are going to kick off our 2025 bingo card.
00:20:09
Speaker
Now, like any bingo card, there are going to be 25 spots, one of which is obviously a free space.
00:20:16
Speaker
So that leaves the four of us to come up with six different predictions for this year.
00:20:22
Speaker
And I am going to go to random.org and create our draft order.
00:20:27
Speaker
This draft order isn't really here to be a draft, but more just to kind of give a little structure to how we do things.
00:20:36
Speaker
Let's give a little bit more perspective.
00:20:38
Speaker
We just want to make some PGW-specific predictions for the year.
00:20:43
Speaker
Might be about movies, might be about pop culture, might be about us.
00:20:48
Speaker
And so we'd love for you to follow along and see how close our brains get to whatever simulation we are living in this year.
00:20:57
Speaker
Yeah, RJ and whatever other one person is listening.
00:21:00
Speaker
And Spence.
00:21:03
Speaker
Spence is obviously going to listen to this episode.
00:21:05
Speaker
Yeah, Spence and RJ.
00:21:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:07
Speaker
All right.
00:21:08
Speaker
The list, as it goes, will be myself,
00:21:12
Speaker
Then Zach, then Joe.
00:21:14
Speaker
Austin will be at the turn, so Austin will go back-to-back on his predictions.
00:21:20
Speaker
And, all right, I'm just going to go ahead and let this one rip.
00:21:28
Speaker
My first letter on the bingo, or number on the bingo card, rather, is Cooper Hoffman starts dating a woman five years older than him.
00:21:37
Speaker
Okay.
00:21:37
Speaker
As he should.
00:21:39
Speaker
He just relives the plot of Licorice Pizza as a 20-year-old man.
00:21:43
Speaker
20 to 25 is really normal, I feel like.
00:21:51
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:21:52
Speaker
Not to be sexist, but especially if you're a guy.
00:21:56
Speaker
I also just think in this sense, additionally, she's going to be significantly more famous than he is.
00:22:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:05
Speaker
So that's my prediction.
00:22:06
Speaker
That's my number one on my bingo card.
00:22:08
Speaker
Taylor Swift breaks up with Travis Kelsey, starts dating Cooper Hoffman.
00:22:12
Speaker
Taylor Swift, who is a 36-year-old woman.
00:22:16
Speaker
He just starts dating Fiona Apple.
00:22:19
Speaker
He's like, PTA, I took your woman.
00:22:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:23
Speaker
We all know you're still in love with her even though you're married and have four children.
00:22:26
Speaker
And then Fiona Apple writes a song about how good Cooper Hoffman eats pussy.
00:22:29
Speaker
Yeah, correct.
00:22:32
Speaker
Lock it in.
00:22:34
Speaker
It's just called Cooper Eats Cooter.
00:22:36
Speaker
Yes, sir.
00:22:37
Speaker
All right.
00:22:39
Speaker
And it's got the most fucked up melody you ever heard in your life.
00:22:42
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:22:43
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:22:44
Speaker
I'm making this industrial noise.
00:22:46
Speaker
Oh, hell yeah.
00:22:47
Speaker
I'm filling out the card.
00:22:48
Speaker
All right.
00:22:49
Speaker
I don't know how you're going to do shorthand for this one, Austin.
00:22:51
Speaker
That's fine.
00:22:53
Speaker
I believe that Nolan's Odyssey adaptation and the things leading up to it will lead to some of the most annoying cinema heads leaning into Greek mythology as an actual religious and lifestyle choice.
00:23:08
Speaker
Oh, Odyssey.
00:23:10
Speaker
Nolan Odyssey Discourse Insufferable.
00:23:14
Speaker
Yeah, well, that's for sure.
00:23:16
Speaker
I'm talking about the Stoicism bros actually following tenets of Greek mythology.
00:23:23
Speaker
I'm just writing Nolan Odyssey gets film bros into mythology heavy.
00:23:27
Speaker
Yeah, that's good.
00:23:30
Speaker
I like that.
00:23:31
Speaker
I mean, I'm excited for it because as a little dorky kid who was obsessed with Percy Jackson, I was obsessed with Greek mythology and Roman mythology when I was a kid.
00:23:43
Speaker
So, you know, I read Edith Hamilton's mythology when I was like nine years old.
00:23:48
Speaker
Jesus Christ.
00:23:49
Speaker
Well, it's going to be guys calling girls sirens in their hinged bios.
00:23:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:54
Speaker
Oh, that makes me want to kill myself, man.
00:23:56
Speaker
Look at Joe.
00:23:58
Speaker
That's the straw that broke Joe's back.
00:24:01
Speaker
That broke the camel's back.
00:24:02
Speaker
That would really hurt me if they got me like, looking for a beautiful siren to call me onto the rocks and eat me alive.
00:24:10
Speaker
Yep.
00:24:10
Speaker
I hope she kills you, motherfucker.
00:24:14
Speaker
Joe, you got a prediction?
00:24:16
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going to do the one that I sent in the chat because it's genuinely something I think might happen.
00:24:20
Speaker
Bill Hader directorial feature debut gets announced.
00:24:24
Speaker
Yeah, dude, please, please, please.
00:24:26
Speaker
I mean, I would I would absolutely love it.
00:24:28
Speaker
He's ready.
00:24:29
Speaker
I mean, he's got you got an idea of what you think it will be or what you want it to be.
00:24:33
Speaker
I hope it would be some sort of like, I want him to do something else action wise because the way he shot action in Barry was so different.
00:24:42
Speaker
Like it felt like a really fresh way to shoot like on screen violence.
00:24:47
Speaker
And I think I would like to see him tackle like a longer form version of that.
00:24:52
Speaker
Bill Hader die hard.
00:24:54
Speaker
Bill Hader Diehard.
00:24:55
Speaker
He directs and stars.
00:24:58
Speaker
I do want him to act in it.
00:25:00
Speaker
Kristen Wiig plays Gruber.
00:25:03
Speaker
laughter
00:25:06
Speaker
That would be great.
00:25:08
Speaker
She's ready in their jeans over at 30 Rock right now.
00:25:11
Speaker
She's ready for a villain role.
00:25:14
Speaker
Okay, my first one on the card is Aziz Ansari's movie will never come out because he will get canceled before it comes out.
00:25:24
Speaker
Again?
00:25:25
Speaker
Yeah, he'll get re-canceled.
00:25:27
Speaker
Okay.
00:25:28
Speaker
Oh, Lord.
00:25:30
Speaker
But this time it'll be all him and not him like...
00:25:34
Speaker
having people do shit on his set or, you know, I guess he was also, he also got canceled himself, but his movie will never come out.
00:25:40
Speaker
Um, is my, it's, it's slated for, I think September or October.
00:25:45
Speaker
Aziz Ansari is the new old Woody Allen.
00:25:47
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:25:50
Speaker
um so this season sorry movie will never come out um and then this this one is more hopeful um than anything else but um and it's still in production but it is supposed to come out this year kelly reicher is making a movie about an art heist during the vietnam war starring josh o'connor alana heim and bill camp and i'm predicting that's going to be my favorite movie of the year
00:26:15
Speaker
So if it does perhaps a self-fulfilling prophecy.
00:26:20
Speaker
Well, yes.
00:26:21
Speaker
I mean, I just can't wait, but I'm also and I are heavy record heads.
00:26:25
Speaker
Oh, I fucking love Kelly.
00:26:28
Speaker
Old joy into a windy and Lucy is like, it's, are you fucking kidding me?
00:26:33
Speaker
Certain women showing up her most recent movie is fucking.
00:26:36
Speaker
I think certain women is her masterpiece.
00:26:38
Speaker
Shout out to Gladstone.
00:26:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:41
Speaker
uh a meek's cutoff was also really good meek's cutoff rules i mean she's not made a bad movie she's an absolute phenomenon she's incredible so those are my two to start so now it's back to joe
Celebrity Allegations and Creative Risks
00:26:54
Speaker
um rob mcelhaney allegations oh i like that dude i think that's um i don't think that's far-fetched unfortunately
00:27:04
Speaker
And I think that his boys will back him up and it will be the end of their... Oh, no.
00:27:13
Speaker
Because I know Glenn is kind of a weirdo, but, you know... I think it's more likely that Glenn will be the one who has allegations.
00:27:20
Speaker
No, here's the thing.
00:27:22
Speaker
I think Glenn is too... I don't know.
00:27:25
Speaker
I think it's kind of like... Glenn is the guy that you most suspect to have allegations, but Rob McElhaney definitely pushed some boundaries in college.
00:27:37
Speaker
I think that's fair.
00:27:38
Speaker
I feel the same way about Burt Kreischer that there's no way he didn't like date rape someone in college.
00:27:44
Speaker
Oh, 100%.
00:27:45
Speaker
Uh, but you know, no one's come out about him.
00:27:49
Speaker
Cause I feel like if any, anyone said anything negative about Burt Kreischer, he would bust their head open like a fucking coconut.
00:27:55
Speaker
Well, he's also gained like 200 pounds since college, right?
00:27:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:00
Speaker
Wait, that's the same dude?
00:28:01
Speaker
He's lost in there.
00:28:03
Speaker
Yeah, no one's come forward because no one can recognize him because he's so fucking fat.
00:28:11
Speaker
One of the craziest things in the world is that?
00:28:15
Speaker
I'm saying this right now.
00:28:15
Speaker
Sorry, Red, to interrupt you.
00:28:18
Speaker
I will burn the bridge now in case I ever make it as someone in Hollywood.
00:28:24
Speaker
Fuck Burt Kreischer.
00:28:25
Speaker
You're not funny.
00:28:26
Speaker
You're annoying.
00:28:28
Speaker
You made Tom Segura worse, and I hope Joe Rogan eats you.
00:28:31
Speaker
Dude, that's...
00:28:35
Speaker
The Tom Segura part's definitely correct.
00:28:37
Speaker
It's definitely correct.
00:28:39
Speaker
I was going to say, it's insane to me that the Van Wilder movies are based on Burt Kreischer's life.
00:28:46
Speaker
Yeah, that he lied about, for sure.
00:28:48
Speaker
And they still cast Ryan Reynolds to play the stand-in, which is even higher.
00:28:53
Speaker
You know what?
00:28:53
Speaker
Let's do Thunderdome.
00:28:54
Speaker
Put Ryan Reynolds and Burt Kreischer in an arena and just see which one of them dies.
00:28:59
Speaker
I'd watch.
00:29:00
Speaker
I'd pay.
00:29:01
Speaker
I would pay $60.
00:29:01
Speaker
I would pay $60.
00:29:02
Speaker
I'd pay $60 for a pay-per-view.
00:29:02
Speaker
If I could get a ticket live, $250 easy.
00:29:04
Speaker
If I had insured that they both killed each other at the same time, I would pay $1,000.
00:29:07
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:29:20
Speaker
Oh my god.
00:29:22
Speaker
I would empty out a savings account to see that.
00:29:26
Speaker
Okay.
00:29:28
Speaker
My next prediction is that the Emma Stone-Yorgos Lanthimos affair gets confirmed.
00:29:33
Speaker
Those motherfuckers are knocking boots, baby.
00:29:36
Speaker
She loves her Greek weirdo.
00:29:40
Speaker
I normally would give this a little bit more time to breathe, but I think because these are backing up, literally the next one on my list is Yorgos makes an outright bad movie.
00:29:48
Speaker
Bad capitalized.
00:29:51
Speaker
I can see that happening, man.
00:29:52
Speaker
Which is funny, because I think Yorgos makes genuinely pretty great movies.
00:29:56
Speaker
I love his movies, but I fully agree with you.
00:29:58
Speaker
There's a stinker in the pipeline, 100%.
00:30:01
Speaker
He's getting a little full of himself, and I think that's what happens when you have a lot of critical success, and they start giving you more and more money.
00:30:09
Speaker
He's like...
00:30:09
Speaker
I'll make whatever I want.
00:30:10
Speaker
It's all going to take more swings once you've had success.
00:30:13
Speaker
Like he does.
00:30:14
Speaker
He's not he's not making movies to like feed his family anymore.
00:30:19
Speaker
He's just trying shit.
00:30:20
Speaker
And I think and I think like plenty of filmmakers are full of themselves.
00:30:23
Speaker
Some of our absolute favorite filmmakers are full of themselves.
00:30:26
Speaker
Stanley Kubrick was historically a kind of person who thought he was a genius, and he was.
00:30:31
Speaker
But the difference is that Yorgos just works on a higher clip than anyone else.
00:30:34
Speaker
Him and Luca both, they just be putting out movies.
00:30:38
Speaker
And so I think that that will be his downfall.
00:30:40
Speaker
Speaking of Luca, I heard from, there was an interview with Brett Easton Ellis, which by the way, fuck that guy.
00:30:46
Speaker
But there was an interview with him where basically he said, yeah, no, there's no new American Psycho movie that's confirmed.
00:30:54
Speaker
No one has the rights.
00:30:56
Speaker
No one has talked to anyone at the estate.
00:31:00
Speaker
No one has any sort of right to the story right now.
00:31:06
Speaker
Maybe they're thinking about making it, but Butler's people haven't called me.
00:31:12
Speaker
Neither have Guadalino's people.
00:31:15
Speaker
I think they announced a movie to see how fans would react, and then they're going to go from there.
00:31:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:22
Speaker
This isn't a prediction, but just on the same note, I think we're going to hear some weird shit about Brady Corvette.
00:31:30
Speaker
Oh, Brady Corvette.
00:31:32
Speaker
Dude has allegations written on his face.
00:31:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:35
Speaker
And not the Burt Kreischer type.
00:31:37
Speaker
His is the cornered- The cache of shit on a hard drive.
00:31:44
Speaker
Oh.
00:31:46
Speaker
I wasn't going to go there.
00:31:47
Speaker
I was going to go pestering a young woman.
00:31:50
Speaker
I haven't seen The Brutalist yet.
00:31:52
Speaker
I'm going on Saturday, but every interview I've seen of the dude, I don't like him.
00:31:56
Speaker
No.
00:31:57
Speaker
His big picture interview was truly awful.
00:32:00
Speaker
Him talking about wanting to make a sci-fi movie and him being like, there's only a couple that are any good.
00:32:05
Speaker
I saw that.
00:32:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:06
Speaker
Terrible.
00:32:07
Speaker
Terrible optics.
00:32:08
Speaker
Why would you want to be a filmmaker if you don't think any movies are good?
00:32:12
Speaker
Well, that's like what he thought he was saying.
00:32:14
Speaker
He thought he was saying like, you should strive for the best shit, right?
00:32:17
Speaker
But it came across as like, yeah, as like alien, not that good.
00:32:21
Speaker
Fun shit.
00:32:23
Speaker
Blade Runner, not that good.
00:32:24
Speaker
Well, did you hear that Eggers kind of like shat on Herzog's Nosferatu?
00:32:32
Speaker
No, I didn't know.
00:32:33
Speaker
That's funny.
00:32:34
Speaker
It was like indirect, but you could basically, you could pretty much tell that he was like, yeah, I don't like his version of the story, which is fair.
00:32:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:41
Speaker
I'm not, I'm not trying to dunk on Eggers.
00:32:43
Speaker
I like Eggers, but Herzog is a type of guy to look at us original story and go, I don't like that part.
00:32:49
Speaker
I don't like that part.
00:32:51
Speaker
I'm not using that.
00:32:52
Speaker
I'm going to do this one my way.
00:32:53
Speaker
It's kind of basically going to be my version of the story.
00:32:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:58
Speaker
I do have a little bit more patience for someone having... There's an interview.
00:33:01
Speaker
I'll see if I can find it.
00:33:03
Speaker
Interesting.
00:33:04
Speaker
When I listened to Edgar's interview on the big pick, he talked a lot about his fondness for the Murnau and the Herzog and the fact that he had seen, as a young man, had seen the Herzog Nosferatu and Bram Stoker's Dracula so many times.
00:33:22
Speaker
Yeah, I think Eggers stuff comes from a place of truly loving that story and being connected to it versus Corbet just making blanket statements of a lot of movies.
00:33:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:36
Speaker
All right.
00:33:37
Speaker
Well, I forgot.
00:33:39
Speaker
I have to go back to back.
00:33:40
Speaker
I forgot this is how a snake
Music and Film Predictions
00:33:41
Speaker
trap works.
00:33:41
Speaker
So, yeah, I think Lioris Lantimos is going to make a movie that's bad.
00:33:46
Speaker
Speaking of directors who are mostly excellent, I think we get a David Lynch directed project again.
00:33:55
Speaker
However, the David Lynch directed project is a music video for his own music.
00:34:00
Speaker
Wow.
00:34:01
Speaker
Yeah, I 100% see that.
00:34:04
Speaker
Or like a commercial.
00:34:06
Speaker
He has done it.
00:34:07
Speaker
Just an opportunity to do something.
00:34:08
Speaker
He's got a legendary PlayStation campaign.
00:34:12
Speaker
Also, the Monkey movie that he did on Netflix.
00:34:16
Speaker
That was pretty fun.
00:34:17
Speaker
I love it.
00:34:20
Speaker
I just have a feeling.
00:34:23
Speaker
I think it's either going to be for David Lynch's music or, and this is not really a prediction, but there will be new Nine Inch Nails music and he will direct the music video for Nine Inch Nails.
00:34:33
Speaker
I can 100% see that happening as well.
00:34:35
Speaker
I very much like that.
00:34:39
Speaker
My next one says Drake releases jazz album.
00:34:45
Speaker
And I think it's going to be very clear he has little to no understanding of what jazz is.
00:34:52
Speaker
Have you guys seen or listened to H. John Benjamin's jazz album?
00:34:59
Speaker
Yes.
00:35:00
Speaker
So H. John Benjamin, he released a jazz album where he hired a bunch of really talented jazz musicians to back him up.
00:35:08
Speaker
But he has no idea how to play the piano.
00:35:12
Speaker
every time it cuts to him doing a solo it's absolutely terrible it's very silly but yeah that's exactly what drake is going to do this year that's exactly what he's going to do i just i love h john benjamin man that's such a funny idea he was like he's great i'm gonna make a jazz album and everyone's like you don't know how to play piano he's like exactly what a king he's great
00:35:36
Speaker
Joe, you're up.
00:35:39
Speaker
Charlie XCX gets arrested for possession.
00:35:42
Speaker
Okay.
00:35:46
Speaker
I feel like that has to have already happened.
00:35:49
Speaker
We just haven't heard.
00:35:50
Speaker
Yeah, I think she's been arrested.
00:35:52
Speaker
I don't think she's ever been charged.
00:35:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:55
Speaker
Yeah, well, it's going to happen in 2025.
00:35:56
Speaker
That's what the bingo card is for, bitch.
00:36:00
Speaker
I'm going to say it.
00:36:01
Speaker
Fuck you for wishing that.
00:36:03
Speaker
I don't wish it.
00:36:04
Speaker
I don't wish it.
00:36:05
Speaker
We're making predictions, not wishes.
00:36:08
Speaker
Come on.
00:36:10
Speaker
If I was making wishes, it would be like Joe finds a million dollars on the ground and it's not tied to the mob.
00:36:18
Speaker
There you go My next one is Paddington in Peru Will underperform at the US box office Oh man I hope you're wrong I think the gap's too long
00:36:30
Speaker
If the gas is too long, the gas is off.
00:36:33
Speaker
There's not a Paul King movie?
00:36:34
Speaker
Yep.
00:36:35
Speaker
Oh, Paul King's not directing?
00:36:37
Speaker
No, he's not.
00:36:38
Speaker
Who's directing it?
00:36:38
Speaker
It's a new guy.
00:36:41
Speaker
It's like his first big project.
00:36:43
Speaker
What's Paul King?
00:36:44
Speaker
Paul King too good for Paddington, though?
00:36:46
Speaker
He's in Wonka.
00:36:47
Speaker
He's doing Wonka 2, dude.
00:36:49
Speaker
Douglas Wilson, who has before this only directed music videos and commercials.
00:36:55
Speaker
That's... Okay, I will say that a lot of people did that first.
00:36:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:59
Speaker
I'm a Wanka defender, though.
00:37:01
Speaker
I like Wanka a lot, actually.
00:37:03
Speaker
I'm looking right now.
00:37:04
Speaker
Paddington, Peru, 60% on Metacritic.
00:37:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:09
Speaker
It's not going to do well, I don't think.
00:37:12
Speaker
I also think that, like, you know, I think people can still be excited for, like, family fair, kids fair, excuse me, at the movies.
00:37:24
Speaker
But so much of it recently has been such shit that people are, like, be like, okay, I'm just going to sit at home.
00:37:30
Speaker
Like, I'm just going to wait until it comes to streaming.
00:37:33
Speaker
Disney Plus has changed people's perspectives.
00:37:35
Speaker
I think it's really, really hard to make a really successful,
00:37:39
Speaker
family movie um unless it's dominions unless it's dominions or um uh john mchoo shitting pink on everything um okay um gosh what's my next one let's see
00:37:56
Speaker
I was trying to think of one.
00:37:58
Speaker
Maybe you guys can help me workshop this.
00:37:59
Speaker
I was trying to think of something with the new Coogler movie.
00:38:02
Speaker
And the only thing I could come up with is that.
00:38:05
Speaker
It's going to be awesome.
00:38:06
Speaker
It's going to be awesome.
00:38:07
Speaker
But we've all heard the accent Michael B. Jordan's doing in the trailer.
00:38:12
Speaker
That will be.
00:38:13
Speaker
My prediction is that will be parodied on SNL within two weeks of the movie's release.
00:38:18
Speaker
Sure.
00:38:19
Speaker
Like, within two weeks of the movie releasing, his character... The movie will open well, it will do well, and that character will get parodied immediately.
00:38:28
Speaker
Can I tell you what the parody will be?
00:38:30
Speaker
Please.
00:38:31
Speaker
It will be... Michael B. Jordan will be hosting SNL.
00:38:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:34
Speaker
With...
00:38:37
Speaker
Dochi as the musical guest.
00:38:39
Speaker
Okay.
00:38:40
Speaker
Interesting.
00:38:40
Speaker
I'm into that.
00:38:41
Speaker
And the bit will be that everyone's like the movie rules, but the accent's really bad.
00:38:47
Speaker
And he will do the accent in his monologue.
00:38:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:51
Speaker
Or since it's kind of like... SNL isn't even a prediction that it's just going to happen this year.
00:38:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:58
Speaker
That's a movie about vampires, right?
00:39:00
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:39:01
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:39:02
Speaker
What if... Here's my pitch for a skit.
00:39:05
Speaker
Michael B. Jordan plays his character from the movie, and they put Michael Longfellow in a Nosferatu costume.
00:39:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:13
Speaker
Or Dismukes.
00:39:15
Speaker
Yeah, or Dismukes.
00:39:16
Speaker
They make Dismukes do Dunos for a while.
00:39:18
Speaker
Although I do think that James Austin Johnson is the only one that could do the Orlok voice.
00:39:22
Speaker
Yeah, that's true.
00:39:23
Speaker
Dude, when he showed up in Complete Unknown, I was so happy.
00:39:25
Speaker
Yeah, I was like, hey!
00:39:26
Speaker
That little cameo was so cute.
00:39:28
Speaker
There he is!
00:39:28
Speaker
I was like, sweet baby boy.
00:39:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:31
Speaker
I was so happy to see him.
00:39:33
Speaker
Okay.
00:39:33
Speaker
Hold on, real quick.
00:39:34
Speaker
What's everybody's best impression of the Orlok voice?
00:39:37
Speaker
I still haven't seen it, so I'm out.
00:39:40
Speaker
But...
00:39:42
Speaker
Zach's cooking something I can see it in his face I can't do it but I wanted to do a Carl Weiser impression I am an appetite I am an appetite
00:39:56
Speaker
The Carl Weezer impression would have been funny, but I don't think I have that in my bag.
00:40:00
Speaker
Oh, Jimmy.
00:40:04
Speaker
I am an appetite.
00:40:06
Speaker
Oh, Jimmy.
00:40:07
Speaker
Could you please give me the papers so I can buy the house across the street from you?
Cultural Shifts and Industry Developments
00:40:13
Speaker
Oh, geez, Rick.
00:40:15
Speaker
I'm just an appetite, Rick.
00:40:20
Speaker
Morty.
00:40:21
Speaker
Oh, fuck Morty.
00:40:22
Speaker
Here's a prediction.
00:40:24
Speaker
Austin will see Nosferatu and it will be in his bottom six movies of the year.
00:40:29
Speaker
Oh, I hope not.
00:40:31
Speaker
I really want to like it.
00:40:32
Speaker
I don't think that's going to be true.
00:40:34
Speaker
It'll probably be very middle of the road for me, but who knows?
00:40:38
Speaker
Who knows?
00:40:39
Speaker
I think you're going to find reasons to like it just to argue with Andrew about it.
00:40:45
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:40:46
Speaker
There's no greater endorsement for a movie for me than my brother hates it.
00:40:51
Speaker
Or him walking out of it.
00:40:52
Speaker
Yeah, I'm like, fuck off, you contentious prick.
00:40:57
Speaker
Andy, I love you.
00:40:58
Speaker
If you're listening, I love you, but that is how I feel sometimes.
00:41:02
Speaker
Everybody's got to have a pretentious older brother.
00:41:03
Speaker
Of course.
00:41:05
Speaker
It's what makes us more relatable.
00:41:09
Speaker
My brother told me he doesn't like the mountain goats because he can't handle the voice.
00:41:13
Speaker
Shut the fuck up.
00:41:14
Speaker
Dude, come on.
00:41:15
Speaker
You like John Riddell.
00:41:16
Speaker
Joe, you're a pretentious younger brother.
00:41:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:19
Speaker
Joe, you're simultaneously one of the most pretentious and the least pretentious people I know.
00:41:25
Speaker
I straddle the line.
00:41:27
Speaker
It's a fine line.
00:41:28
Speaker
It really is.
00:41:28
Speaker
And you do it beautifully.
00:41:30
Speaker
The key to riding the line is to really get balls deep in it.
00:41:34
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:41:35
Speaker
There's a line in Joe's.
00:41:37
Speaker
Joe, I'm sorry.
00:41:38
Speaker
I still haven't finished your pilot script, but I'm going to.
00:41:39
Speaker
That's okay.
00:41:41
Speaker
There's a line though.
00:41:42
Speaker
There's an introduction of a character in Joe's pilot script.
00:41:45
Speaker
Do you mind if I share this, Joe?
00:41:46
Speaker
Yeah, go for it.
00:41:49
Speaker
It's like a waitress at a diner and he introduces her as looks like she hits her kids in a Walmart.
00:41:56
Speaker
I laughed I was reading it at work and I laughed out loud like everybody in the pub was like the fuck is wrong with this guy I was laughing hysterically ladies and gentlemen the next Taylor Sheridan I'm about to start writing just straight slop yeah hey you do it well slop them up slop them up boys we're going Joe we're back to you
00:42:20
Speaker
Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, messy divorce.
00:42:23
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's coming.
00:42:25
Speaker
There's more and more shit coming out about the Baldoni stuff.
00:42:30
Speaker
My other prediction was going to be Blake Lively kills Justin Baldoni.
00:42:36
Speaker
I've heard a lot of stuff that's pretty negative about Baldoni, but also I just have a feeling that
00:42:41
Speaker
They are either in for a giant collapse or they Beyonce and Jay-Z where she has a very public affair and they just stay together.
00:42:52
Speaker
Oh, that'd be interesting.
00:42:53
Speaker
Who would her affair be with?
00:42:57
Speaker
Rob McElhoney.
00:42:58
Speaker
I was going to say Post Malone.
00:43:02
Speaker
Oh!
00:43:02
Speaker
Beyonce's like, I need a Texas boy.
00:43:07
Speaker
Bring me Posty.
00:43:09
Speaker
Oh my god.
00:43:11
Speaker
The way he looked at her during that halftime show...
00:43:13
Speaker
I was like, he has thought about this.
00:43:15
Speaker
You put anybody in his shoes, in Post Malone's shoes, you're sitting there watching Beyonce dance in front of you.
00:43:21
Speaker
You gotta enjoy.
00:43:23
Speaker
You're gonna get half a sandwich, you know?
00:43:24
Speaker
Just thinking about it.
00:43:27
Speaker
Okay, so Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, messy divorce.
00:43:30
Speaker
Zach.
00:43:32
Speaker
All right.
00:43:32
Speaker
Lily Rose Depp Pirates of the Caribbean reboot announced.
00:43:37
Speaker
Oh, that's excellent.
00:43:38
Speaker
You like she playing.
00:43:39
Speaker
Is she playing Jack like woke girl Jack Sparrow?
00:43:42
Speaker
Yeah, it's like Jack's long lost daughter.
00:43:44
Speaker
Jackie Sparrow.
00:43:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:46
Speaker
Jackie Sparrow.
00:43:47
Speaker
Jacqueline Sparrow, please.
00:43:49
Speaker
Or just only if you're nasty.
00:43:51
Speaker
Fully lean into like some bird shit like Robin Sparrow.
00:43:55
Speaker
That would be hilarious if it's two birds.
00:44:00
Speaker
If her name is just... Well, that fits with Jack Sparrow's character too, that he would be like, I love birds.
00:44:07
Speaker
Rum Sparrow.
00:44:08
Speaker
Rum Sparrow.
00:44:11
Speaker
Dirt Sparrow.
00:44:12
Speaker
And the trailer is just like, where has all the rum gone?
00:44:15
Speaker
And then she comes out of the sand.
00:44:17
Speaker
I think I just selfishly want more Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
00:44:21
Speaker
We got to get Gore Verbinski back.
00:44:23
Speaker
Yeah, only if Gore is at the helm.
00:44:24
Speaker
That's the only way I want them.
00:44:26
Speaker
I, you know,
00:44:27
Speaker
If Rob Marshall's directing, I'm going to shit myself.
00:44:30
Speaker
I rewatched them early on in 2024, and I had a really fun time.
00:44:34
Speaker
They're great.
00:44:36
Speaker
The first three, in my opinion, are all good to great.
00:44:40
Speaker
Well, allow me to say, my next prediction is the Wachowskis announce a new film together.
00:44:51
Speaker
Okay.
00:44:52
Speaker
They work together for the first time since Sense8.
00:44:55
Speaker
It is nothing to do with The Matrix.
00:44:59
Speaker
but the Wachowski sisters back together, directing a film bound to still binding.
00:45:09
Speaker
You have my, you have my attention.
00:45:13
Speaker
Gina Gershon's a Trumpy, but let's call her.
00:45:17
Speaker
Oh, I forgot about that.
00:45:18
Speaker
God.
00:45:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:18
Speaker
She sucks.
00:45:20
Speaker
That's wild.
00:45:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:21
Speaker
What are you going to do?
00:45:22
Speaker
What are you going to do?
00:45:23
Speaker
Oh, man.
00:45:25
Speaker
Okay.
00:45:25
Speaker
I got one more.
00:45:26
Speaker
No, I got two more, right?
00:45:28
Speaker
Well, one on this spot.
00:45:31
Speaker
We have there's eight empty spots left.
00:45:33
Speaker
You have one more on this turn and then we'll come back to you for the last one.
00:45:37
Speaker
Okay.
00:45:38
Speaker
I'm going to drop.
00:45:39
Speaker
I'm going to drop this one now because I want a different one to be my final.
00:45:46
Speaker
Rachel Senate and Stavros Halkius spotted together at a party.
00:45:51
Speaker
Oh, together.
00:45:53
Speaker
He's been talking about how he wants to settle down.
00:45:56
Speaker
Stavi's ready.
00:45:57
Speaker
And nobody forgets Stavi after they've had him.
00:46:01
Speaker
He's also been talking way too much, though, about how he can get only like 80% hard.
00:46:07
Speaker
And I need him to chill out with that on the mic, honestly.
00:46:09
Speaker
They were together for like two years.
00:46:11
Speaker
She knows.
00:46:12
Speaker
That's fine for her.
00:46:14
Speaker
She probably sees it as a challenge.
00:46:16
Speaker
Yeah, she's like, I have to get him hard.
00:46:18
Speaker
Have y'all listened to The Stavis World with Jake Johnson?
00:46:21
Speaker
Oh, no, but I bet that's interesting.
00:46:23
Speaker
It's honestly one of the funniest podcast interviews I've heard in a long time.
00:46:26
Speaker
Y'all should also listen to Stavis World with Eric Rahill and one of the other cast members from Let's Start a Cult.
00:46:34
Speaker
It's so much funnier than the movie.
00:46:36
Speaker
It's astounding.
00:46:38
Speaker
Isn't that a shame though?
00:46:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:46:40
Speaker
So Eric, Eric Rahill plays, um, like a guy who wanted to join the military and let's start a cult.
00:46:46
Speaker
He's so fucking funny, but he just talks about how he worked on a second city cruise line doing improv.
00:46:56
Speaker
Uh, and it has a lot of great, uh, uh, material based on that.
00:46:59
Speaker
And also about how he grew up really Christian.
00:47:02
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:47:03
Speaker
Jake Johnson, in the interview, tells this story about... He talks a lot about his dad, and his dad was a violent alcoholic, but then got sober when Jake Johnson was 18, and they became friends.
00:47:18
Speaker
But his impression of his dad is so fucking funny, because the way he tells it...
00:47:24
Speaker
he's like, he owned a car dealership in Chicago.
00:47:27
Speaker
So he would like party with the bulls, but he's like, he talks about his alcoholism and his Coke addiction, like a disease.
00:47:33
Speaker
And then he's like, yeah, but I was with Scottie Pippen.
00:47:36
Speaker
You know, it's like, I was, you know, Scottie Pippen, what are you going to do?
00:47:39
Speaker
You know?
00:47:41
Speaker
It's very funny.
00:47:41
Speaker
Would highly recommend.
00:47:43
Speaker
Okay.
00:47:43
Speaker
Back to Z-Rob.
00:47:45
Speaker
Yeah, I think I'm up.
00:47:47
Speaker
My next one is Marcelo Hernandez, High Profile Relationship, and it's going to become the next Pete Davidson rumor
Film and TV Predictions for 2025
00:47:54
Speaker
mill.
00:47:54
Speaker
Okay.
00:47:56
Speaker
He's the other dude from SNL?
00:47:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:47:59
Speaker
I think him and Sabrina Carpenter are hookup.
00:48:01
Speaker
Yeah, something like that.
00:48:02
Speaker
Okay.
00:48:04
Speaker
High Profile Relationship.
00:48:07
Speaker
My next prediction is there will be yet another Band of Brothers spinoff type show.
00:48:14
Speaker
This time it's about boys in a submarine.
00:48:16
Speaker
Okay.
00:48:19
Speaker
So like a World War II submarine show?
00:48:22
Speaker
Yeah.
00:48:24
Speaker
Submarine.
00:48:25
Speaker
Who's starring?
00:48:25
Speaker
It's actually just a U-571 remake.
00:48:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:48:29
Speaker
The Wolfgang's not around.
00:48:32
Speaker
Because they already got Austin Butler and Barry Keegan in the Masters of the Air one.
00:48:36
Speaker
Let me see.
00:48:37
Speaker
Who would be in that?
00:48:41
Speaker
I can't even think of the young gun actors anymore because they already... They're already so taken up.
00:48:49
Speaker
Yeah, it's not Timothee Chalamet.
00:48:51
Speaker
He's busy now.
00:48:52
Speaker
What if it's like Taron Egerton in a sub?
00:48:55
Speaker
I could see that.
00:48:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:48:57
Speaker
He's like a... He's the grizzled... He's the first officer.
00:49:02
Speaker
Yeah, he's the first officer.
00:49:03
Speaker
He's the XO.
00:49:04
Speaker
He's Denzel in Crimson Tide.
00:49:05
Speaker
The kid who played Greg Heffley in Diary of a Wimpy Kid.
00:49:09
Speaker
Okay.
00:49:10
Speaker
And Gatton Maserato.
00:49:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:49:15
Speaker
No, no, no.
00:49:17
Speaker
It's just the cast of Stranger Things.
00:49:19
Speaker
In the submarine.
00:49:21
Speaker
In the submarine.
00:49:23
Speaker
And Stan fucking Joe, Joey, what's the fuck?
00:49:30
Speaker
Squarehead guy.
00:49:31
Speaker
Let him keep going.
00:49:32
Speaker
Joe DiMaggio.
00:49:35
Speaker
Joey King.
00:49:37
Speaker
Joe Keery.
00:49:39
Speaker
I was going to let him keep going.
00:49:43
Speaker
I knew it was Joe Keery for a while.
00:49:44
Speaker
I couldn't listen to that.
00:49:45
Speaker
I wanted it to just go on.
00:49:49
Speaker
I'll always save you, Joe.
00:49:50
Speaker
You know I will.
00:49:51
Speaker
Thanks, Austin.
00:49:52
Speaker
I got you, buddy.
00:49:53
Speaker
Instead of Stranger Things, it just says submarines.
00:49:57
Speaker
Yeah, so it's just called subs.
00:49:59
Speaker
And they're still playing D&D down there.
00:50:01
Speaker
And then Millie Bobby Brown's like, please, can I come in the submarine?
00:50:03
Speaker
And they're all like, no.
00:50:06
Speaker
No girls allowed.
00:50:09
Speaker
Okay.
00:50:11
Speaker
I don't have any good ones.
00:50:13
Speaker
Y'all have such good ones.
00:50:14
Speaker
I feel like a fucking idiot.
00:50:15
Speaker
Do you want to feel even more like an idiot real quick?
00:50:19
Speaker
Actually, they come out as a Trumper.
00:50:22
Speaker
Well, I was trying to think of somebody who's going to die.
00:50:25
Speaker
I was trying to think of who we're going to lose this year.
00:50:28
Speaker
Joe Biden.
00:50:31
Speaker
David Lynch.
00:50:34
Speaker
I don't know.
00:50:34
Speaker
I feel like he's taking some healthy steps.
00:50:37
Speaker
Dick Van Dyke.
00:50:39
Speaker
Dick's going to outlive us.
00:50:44
Speaker
He's spry.
00:50:45
Speaker
You see him doing the moves on the red carpet?
00:50:47
Speaker
He's a spry guy.
00:50:48
Speaker
How long do we think fucking Rolling Stones guy is going to last?
00:50:53
Speaker
Mick Jagger.
00:50:55
Speaker
I mean, I don't know.
00:50:56
Speaker
Keith Richards might outlive him.
00:50:58
Speaker
Oh, yeah, no.
00:50:58
Speaker
Keith Richards is never going to die.
00:51:00
Speaker
Keith pickled his body and then got clean, so he's just preserved.
00:51:04
Speaker
Yeah, he's good to go.
00:51:05
Speaker
There's a great old Comptown bit about how he's like, no, basically everything gives you cancer, so if you do enough coke in your 20s, it kills all the cells that could cause cancer.
00:51:20
Speaker
That's scientifically true.
00:51:21
Speaker
Yeah, and you enter into the late stage of your life cancer-free.
00:51:25
Speaker
Okay, I'm just going to go with one that I have written down.
00:51:29
Speaker
I think the new David Lowery movie, Mother Mary, I think Anne Hathaway wins the Oscar for Best Actress for that movie.
00:51:36
Speaker
I hope so.
00:51:48
Speaker
Because I love her She should have a lead Oscar And also David Lowery's due for some Oscar hype Exactly And I think this is going to be the movie Because it's about a pop star I think this is going to be the movie And Hunter Schaefer's in it I think this is the movie that kind of gets that conversation going Look it So David Lowery One that I'm now cooking up is Hunter Schaefer's
00:52:18
Speaker
Best Supporting Actress nomination.
00:52:21
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's very fair.
00:52:23
Speaker
I mean, the slate of... I was just looking at the slate of upcoming movies and there's a lot of very exciting stuff, but none more exciting for me that's dated than that and Mickey 17.
00:52:36
Speaker
Let's see.
00:52:37
Speaker
I guess in a similar vein, I think that Final Reckoning will get a Best Picture nom.
00:52:48
Speaker
hmm you think tom and tom cruise gets a gets another like achievement award like i don't think he gets no yeah but he my prediction is no i agree with you on final reckoning yeah my prediction is that cruise will not win an oscar until he has his version of the color of money
00:53:09
Speaker
I think, but I, you know, I don't like Inaritu very much.
00:53:12
Speaker
I think that, but Inaritu wins Oscars for his actors or at least gets big nominations.
00:53:16
Speaker
And he's making that movie with him.
00:53:18
Speaker
And I think there's a good chance that we'll at least get a nom out of that.
00:53:21
Speaker
Here's what I'm looking for.
00:53:22
Speaker
This is not a prediction.
00:53:23
Speaker
This is a wish.
00:53:25
Speaker
After Cruise is finished with Mission Impossible and he does this Inaritu movie, him and PTA team up again.
00:53:31
Speaker
I mean, I think it has to happen.
00:53:34
Speaker
I think, or him and like Tarantino.
00:53:36
Speaker
Tom Cruise and Cooper Hoffman.
00:53:39
Speaker
I was saving this because I was going to be the final prediction.
00:53:43
Speaker
Let me just say my final prediction is Tom Cruise has a cameo in the new PTA project.
00:53:49
Speaker
It is going to be Vineland, but whatever they call it.
00:53:52
Speaker
And Cruise gets the best supporting nod that we all wanted for Cooper.
00:53:58
Speaker
Okay.
00:53:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:54:00
Speaker
Okay.
00:54:00
Speaker
That's my prediction.
00:54:01
Speaker
It's a combo.
00:54:01
Speaker
I mean, I would absolutely love it.
00:54:03
Speaker
I think, I think that is what is going to happen is that, and, and I think that they do it because they really want Tom back at the Oscars.
00:54:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:54:13
Speaker
Oh yeah.
00:54:14
Speaker
He's the new movie guy.
00:54:16
Speaker
Like he's, he's the new guy that's just like at all the, at all the premieres, he's like hanging out with the actors and,
00:54:23
Speaker
And not speaking in full sentences because he has brain damage.
00:54:28
Speaker
I mean, God bless him.
00:54:28
Speaker
I love him so much.
00:54:30
Speaker
Okay.
00:54:31
Speaker
Tom Cruise, PTA, Cameo, and Nom.
00:54:35
Speaker
Okay.
00:54:35
Speaker
So, Joe, your final predict.
00:54:37
Speaker
Um...
00:54:42
Speaker
I mean, this is just so outlandish.
00:54:45
Speaker
Conor O'Malley releases another feature length film.
00:54:48
Speaker
It wins several awards.
00:54:50
Speaker
He wins an Oscar, but then he shows up to the Oscars and like, like has a fake pipe bomb on.
00:54:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:54:58
Speaker
He's dressed as Osama bin Laden.
00:55:00
Speaker
No, he dresses as Derek.
00:55:06
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know.
00:55:07
Speaker
That's not a real prediction, but I would hope for it.
00:55:12
Speaker
Yeah, we got to stop.
00:55:14
Speaker
Okay, Z-Rob, close us out.
00:55:17
Speaker
Jimmy Fallon's sex pest scandal resurfaces.
00:55:20
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:55:21
Speaker
Jimmy Fallon fucking dies.
00:55:24
Speaker
Resurfaces.
00:55:26
Speaker
Yeah, there was the Horatio Sands one a few years ago.
00:55:28
Speaker
Yeah, I forgot about that.
00:55:30
Speaker
I mean, I hadn't forgotten about the Horatio Sands part, but I'd forgotten that he was mentioned.
00:55:34
Speaker
He was added to it late, I think.
00:55:35
Speaker
And, like, there was all that stuff about his employees being like he's a huge asshole.
00:55:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:40
Speaker
Well, everyone's known he's, like, a debilitating alcoholic for a while.
00:55:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:47
Speaker
he was all and also he's got to be on coke or something something how do you keep up i think i think he now is like i think the thing that'll happen is is that everything comes out they're all old allegations but everyone hates jimmy fallon and so it's like like i think that jimmy fallon now cares so much about his image that he's like oh yeah clean and sober who's the new tonight show host but he's got so much shit
00:56:12
Speaker
that they'll bury him.
00:56:16
Speaker
Who do they replace him with?
00:56:20
Speaker
They make up for the mistake with Joan Rivers and they hire a woman.
00:56:22
Speaker
I know that much.
00:56:23
Speaker
Yeah, 100%.
00:56:24
Speaker
Ben Schwartz.
00:56:27
Speaker
A woman.
00:56:28
Speaker
Schwartz is really good, though.
00:56:31
Speaker
She would be good.
00:56:32
Speaker
I'm trying to think.
00:56:34
Speaker
She wouldn't do it, but I want Iowa Debris.
00:56:38
Speaker
oh fantastic her talk show would be something else yeah she would be fantastic i mean do do they not just give it to mulaney no because he's got the netflix show going but yeah but like gene smart talk show oh zach fox give him the bag gene smart's a really good poll joe yeah uh zach fox could not be trusted with the talk show no
00:57:02
Speaker
Yeah, as he says, I take my car and crash it into white-owned businesses.
00:57:07
Speaker
Yeah, crash it into white-owned businesses.
00:57:09
Speaker
He posted, fire party at my house tonight, bring champagne and hoes.
00:57:15
Speaker
Just after he got married?
00:57:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:18
Speaker
have y'all seen his uh there's like that complex youtube series called deep talks or something yeah uh he has an interview on it it's like 20 minutes long but it's some of the funniest shit i've seen he's fucking hilarious his episode of kenny beats is the cave is maybe yeah one of the funniest things i've ever seen in my life have y'all seen i want a joe to see like sonic doing a crip walk yeah
00:57:40
Speaker
I want a freak type.
00:57:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:42
Speaker
He's like, I want a post nine 11 pre death of Whitney Houston beat.
00:57:47
Speaker
I want a pro-lifer beat.
00:57:49
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:50
Speaker
I forgot.
00:57:50
Speaker
I want a pro-lifer beat.
00:57:52
Speaker
And then there's that clip of him and Kenny.
00:57:54
Speaker
I think this was during COVID.
00:57:55
Speaker
They were doing like a live make a beat.
00:57:57
Speaker
And he pulls, he pulls a clip off YouTube of busy bone talking about the Illuminati.
00:58:03
Speaker
They get into a beat.
00:58:05
Speaker
And I think about it all the time.
00:58:07
Speaker
Excuse me.
00:58:08
Speaker
I think about it all the time.
00:58:09
Speaker
We have to somehow get more Vince Staples, Zach Fox, and Kenny Beats content in this next year.
00:58:16
Speaker
Yeah, I would love it.
00:58:17
Speaker
Vince Staples saying Kenny Beats is the police over and over again.
00:58:20
Speaker
All right.
00:58:23
Speaker
This is a freebie.
00:58:25
Speaker
This is our free space.
00:58:28
Speaker
No, because we have to have an actual free space.
00:58:31
Speaker
Vince Staples Show season two gets renewed at Netflix and doesn't sweep the Emmys.
00:58:37
Speaker
It doesn't win anything, but it will be nominated across the board at the Emmys.
00:58:42
Speaker
Yeah, I can see that.
00:58:43
Speaker
For sure.
00:58:44
Speaker
I like it.
00:58:46
Speaker
Donald Glover allegations.
00:58:48
Speaker
Why so many allegations, Joe?
00:58:51
Speaker
Because so many people have done so much heinous shit.
00:58:55
Speaker
He's not wrong.
00:58:56
Speaker
I don't want that.
00:58:58
Speaker
I don't trust any celebrity.
00:59:00
Speaker
I think it's far more likely we get something about Lakeith Stanfield.
00:59:04
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:59:04
Speaker
Sweet boy.
00:59:06
Speaker
I hope not, but wouldn't be sure.
00:59:07
Speaker
He's just an odd guy.
00:59:09
Speaker
He's an odd guy.
00:59:11
Speaker
Yeah, well, who knows?
00:59:12
Speaker
Who knows?
00:59:13
Speaker
All right.
00:59:14
Speaker
That's our bingo card, fellas.
00:59:16
Speaker
That's the bingo card.
00:59:18
Speaker
Read all.
00:59:18
Speaker
That's a bingo.
00:59:20
Speaker
I'm going to read them all.
00:59:21
Speaker
So Cooper Hoffman dates a cougar.
00:59:23
Speaker
I'm just going to read exactly what I wrote.
00:59:26
Speaker
Nolan Odyssey gets film bros into mythology heavy.
00:59:29
Speaker
Bill Hader directorial debut gets announced.
00:59:33
Speaker
Aziz Ansari movie will never come out.
00:59:35
Speaker
Kelly Reichert movie will be Austin's favorite movie of the year.
00:59:38
Speaker
Rob McElhaney allegations.
00:59:40
Speaker
Emma Stone and your ghost fucking.
00:59:43
Speaker
Yorgos makes a bad movie.
00:59:45
Speaker
I capitalized every letter in bad.
00:59:46
Speaker
Thank you.
00:59:47
Speaker
David Lynch makes a music video for his own music slash Nine Inch Nails.
00:59:52
Speaker
Drake releases jazz album.
00:59:54
Speaker
That's so good, Zach.
00:59:56
Speaker
It's really good.
00:59:56
Speaker
That might be the best one.
00:59:57
Speaker
That might be the best one.
00:59:58
Speaker
Charlie XCX gets arrested for possession.
01:00:01
Speaker
Paddington in Peru underperforms the box office.
01:00:04
Speaker
Michael B. Jordan hosts SNL and makes fun of his own accent.
01:00:07
Speaker
Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, messy divorce.
01:00:10
Speaker
Lily Rose Depp, Pirates reboot.
01:00:12
Speaker
The Wachowskis announce a new movie together.
01:00:15
Speaker
Rachel Sinnott and Stavi back together.
01:00:17
Speaker
Love that one.
01:00:18
Speaker
Marcelo Hernandez has, what the fuck?
01:00:21
Speaker
High profile relationship.
01:00:23
Speaker
See, I can't even remember my handwriting.
01:00:24
Speaker
This is the problem.
01:00:26
Speaker
What is he, a doctor or something?
01:00:27
Speaker
What is he, a doctor or something?
01:00:28
Speaker
Yeah.
01:00:29
Speaker
Submarine World War II.
01:00:30
Speaker
Thanks, Austin, for repeating exactly what I said in the exact same place.
01:00:33
Speaker
That's what I do, buddy.
01:00:35
Speaker
He's safe for us earlier, and this is how you repay him?
01:00:38
Speaker
You know I always support you, baby.
01:00:40
Speaker
Submarine World War II show.
01:00:42
Speaker
Fucking stupid suggestion, Joe.
01:00:47
Speaker
David Lowery movie, Anne Hathaway wins an Oscar.
01:00:51
Speaker
Final Reckoning gets Best Picture nom.
01:00:53
Speaker
Tom Cruise, PTA cameo and Oscar nom.
01:00:56
Speaker
Conor O'Malley, Oscar nom.
01:00:59
Speaker
Fallon, Sex Pest Resurfaces.
01:01:02
Speaker
And then just bonus.
01:01:03
Speaker
Hell of a year, boys.
01:01:04
Speaker
Yeah, Vince Staple show Emmy noms is the bonus.
01:01:09
Speaker
And then we have a free space in the middle, obviously.
01:01:12
Speaker
So that's what we did.
01:01:14
Speaker
I got to come clean and then I did not prepare at all.
01:01:17
Speaker
And those were all off the dump.
01:01:18
Speaker
Yeah.
01:01:18
Speaker
Great.
01:01:19
Speaker
I hardly did.
01:01:20
Speaker
I was, I was so ashamed of all my, all my predictions seem so boring.
01:01:24
Speaker
Like I'll read you some of my, my honorable mentions.
01:01:27
Speaker
Mickey 17 will get left out of the Oscars.
01:01:30
Speaker
Snow White will suck ass.
01:01:33
Speaker
That's just, that's just reading the writing on the wall.
01:01:36
Speaker
Exactly.
01:01:37
Speaker
So, and on that same tip, live action, Disney will continue its downfall.
01:01:41
Speaker
Todd Haynes will lose funding again.
01:01:43
Speaker
Yeah.
01:01:44
Speaker
Adam Driver will make a full bounce back in this new Jarmusch movie he's making with Cate Blanchett.
01:01:49
Speaker
That sounds great.
01:01:50
Speaker
I can't wait for that.
01:01:51
Speaker
And then Megan 2.0 will take over TikTok.
01:01:54
Speaker
Mathregan 2.0.
01:01:55
Speaker
Mathregan 2.0.
01:01:57
Speaker
The only one I left on my list was Eric Adams' beam coin.
01:02:04
Speaker
I wrote, the only one left on my list is people turn on the Letterboxd top four videos.
01:02:09
Speaker
They get tired of them.
01:02:10
Speaker
I'm already tired of them.
01:02:11
Speaker
Oh, interesting.
01:02:13
Speaker
I still watch them.
01:02:13
Speaker
I like them.
01:02:14
Speaker
I was also then trying to cook up a take of people start trying to make apps and describing them as the letterbox but for blank.
01:02:24
Speaker
Like in the same way people used to describe video games as Skyrim but with blank.
01:02:30
Speaker
Adam and I have vowed that if we ever get invited to the Criterion Closet that we're just going to keep asking for movies we know they don't have.
01:02:38
Speaker
Do you guys have Clifford in here?
01:02:40
Speaker
Do you guys have Tokyo Drift?
01:02:41
Speaker
Do you guys have Legend of Drunken Master 2?
01:02:45
Speaker
And then when they go no, they go, why not?
01:02:48
Speaker
Wait, Criterion would add that movie though.
01:02:51
Speaker
That one is actually possible.
01:02:53
Speaker
Yeah.
01:02:54
Speaker
They haven't yet.
01:02:55
Speaker
Yeah, you just go in there and you're like, where is my liar liar disc?
01:03:01
Speaker
Here's a new prediction.
01:03:03
Speaker
Mr. Criterion, sex pest scandal.
01:03:06
Speaker
Dr. Criterion.
01:03:08
Speaker
Dr. Criterion, sex pest.
01:03:11
Speaker
Another prediction is Criterion legitimately announces vintage pornography collection on the Criterion channel.
01:03:23
Speaker
And it's like fucking deep throat and like 70s porn classes.
01:03:27
Speaker
Isn't that just the pre-code section?
01:03:29
Speaker
Spritz the cat.
01:03:30
Speaker
Yeah, it kind of is, honestly.
01:03:33
Speaker
They have some pretty racy stuff on there.
01:03:36
Speaker
Dude, the Canopy Pre-Code shit has some crazy stuff on there.
01:03:40
Speaker
And I found that out because I was looking for something to watch during my break period day to day at school.
01:03:46
Speaker
And I was looking through some titles and I was like, can't watch that in here.
01:03:49
Speaker
Can't watch that in here.
01:03:51
Speaker
This should be really bad.
01:03:52
Speaker
I did start the Lavender Hill mob, which is... Oh, yeah.
01:03:56
Speaker
I don't know why I haven't been doing this the whole time because I have access to a full-ass projection screen in like an hour to myself every day.
01:04:04
Speaker
And so I'm just going to start watching movies on canopy in my classroom.
01:04:07
Speaker
I love that.
01:04:08
Speaker
That's sick.
01:04:09
Speaker
Hell, yeah.
Akira Kurosawa Segment: Media Highlights
01:04:10
Speaker
Well, anything else, boys, before we get to everyone's favorite part of the show?
01:04:13
Speaker
Let's get to it.
01:04:14
Speaker
Let's go.
01:04:14
Speaker
Excellent.
01:04:16
Speaker
Listener, this is the Akira Kurosawa High and Low, where each of us will talk about the best and worst media that they consumed over the last week.
01:04:23
Speaker
We recorded on Sunday, so we haven't had a ton of time for turnaround, but a great opportunity to talk about some cool shit the boys have been watching.
01:04:35
Speaker
Does anyone feel like they want to go first?
01:04:36
Speaker
I know I usually volunteer someone.
01:04:38
Speaker
I can go first.
01:04:39
Speaker
Yeah, Zach, why don't you go?
01:04:41
Speaker
So my low is something that I honestly really enjoy watching, but it's just utter absolute trash.
01:04:48
Speaker
But about once a year, I get sucked into the Netflix reality hole.
01:04:53
Speaker
I've been watching not the new, but the most recent season of Love is Blind.
01:04:56
Speaker
Oh, hell yeah.
01:04:59
Speaker
I eat that sloppy shit up.
01:05:02
Speaker
Eat it up with a fork.
01:05:03
Speaker
Here's your slop piggy.
01:05:04
Speaker
Yeah.
01:05:06
Speaker
Oink, oink.
01:05:06
Speaker
Sucking down slop with these fat bucks.
01:05:10
Speaker
And I'm actually the fattest one of all.
01:05:14
Speaker
Slopping down pig dicks.
01:05:19
Speaker
With these worthless sacks of human shit.
01:05:22
Speaker
No, I don't think you get the bit.
01:05:24
Speaker
I don't think you get it.
01:05:26
Speaker
I just don't think you get it.
01:05:27
Speaker
I'm looking at my letterbox to try to think of some honorable mentions and like, this was a light movie week for me comparatively.
01:05:34
Speaker
But again, like Red said, it's only been a few days and you're back at work.
01:05:37
Speaker
So it's hard.
01:05:38
Speaker
Look, I look like George Clooney and Spy Kids.
01:05:40
Speaker
My high is easy.
01:05:42
Speaker
You look like George LaForge, idiot.
01:05:45
Speaker
Jesus Christ.
01:05:46
Speaker
Last night I rewatched Eyes Wide Shut.
01:05:48
Speaker
Fuck yeah, baby.
01:05:51
Speaker
Every single rewatch, there's something more that just sucks you in and sucks you off.
01:05:58
Speaker
Zach, can I say something to you?
01:06:00
Speaker
The pot is making you aggressive.
01:06:03
Speaker
Yeah.
01:06:03
Speaker
You need to calm down.
01:06:04
Speaker
A great cruise line delivery.
01:06:07
Speaker
Squeezing her titties.
01:06:08
Speaker
Squeezing her little titties.
01:06:10
Speaker
Everyone talks about the pot line, but the Kidman line afterwards is like, you like squeezing your little titties?
01:06:15
Speaker
Your little titties.
01:06:16
Speaker
It's one of the best line readings ever committed to cinema.
01:06:22
Speaker
uh i want to hear from austin cool um my low um again short short week um it's a show i watched all of in the course of two days um because my back was hurting and i was just on the couch with the heating pad but uh it was pretty bad but i just kind of ate it up it's like you're talking about zach it's uh laid on peacock
01:06:44
Speaker
with stephanie and zosia mammoth um a lot of great michael anguorano a lot of great guest stars um it's just like really kind of like referential shit like it's a it's too cute and it's like not all that interesting but it's like a fun premise basically like um woman discovers that every guy she's ever slept with is dying in the order in which she slept with them um and so it's a cool premise
01:07:09
Speaker
Yeah, it's a cool premise.
01:07:10
Speaker
And Stephanie's shoe is really good, but it's just kind of boring shit.
01:07:16
Speaker
Honorable mention, started my 30 Rock rewatch already through all of season one.
01:07:21
Speaker
Just the funniest show ever.
01:07:22
Speaker
I referenced the fat bitch line earlier, but literally made me laugh out loud watching it today when Rip Torn comes into his office.
01:07:28
Speaker
He's like, what's the one where Tracy plays the dog?
01:07:30
Speaker
He's like, a fat bitch, sir.
01:07:32
Speaker
And that's the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life.
01:07:36
Speaker
This honky grandma be tripping.
01:07:38
Speaker
This honky grandma be tripping.
01:07:40
Speaker
When he keeps the persistence of the bit on, I love this thing so much, I want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant, is just phenomenal shit.
01:07:49
Speaker
There's also a really good recurring bit where he's just been in so many movies that are like black remakes of other movies.
01:07:58
Speaker
And the one that always makes me laugh is when he says, and that was last year when I was in a black fair to remember black.
01:08:09
Speaker
One of my favorite bits is when he's talking about how he's never won anything.
01:08:13
Speaker
And he's like, Shaq even got a Kid's Choice Award for that movie that we did together.
01:08:19
Speaker
The animated movie that they did together.
01:08:21
Speaker
And he's like, all I got was a million dollars, a yellow Bentley, and nothing else.
01:08:28
Speaker
There's a moment where Pete is talking to him and Tracy's like, I made a whole movie in my car.
01:08:33
Speaker
And Pete's like, that was supposed to be a Western.
01:08:35
Speaker
I went and saw it.
01:08:37
Speaker
Last night I watched the episode where Frank thinks he's gay.
01:08:42
Speaker
Yeah.
01:08:42
Speaker
He's gay for the one guy.
01:08:44
Speaker
He's gay for Liz's boy.
01:08:45
Speaker
Liz's young boy toy.
01:08:48
Speaker
Incredible.
01:08:49
Speaker
So that's honorable mention.
01:08:51
Speaker
It would be my high, but we talked about 30 Rock too much.
01:08:53
Speaker
Another honorable mention, Hal Ashby's 8 Million Ways to Die.
01:09:00
Speaker
It was his last movie.
01:09:01
Speaker
Came out in 1986.
01:09:02
Speaker
It stars Jeff Bridges and Rosanna Arquette with a script by Oliver Stone.
01:09:10
Speaker
Just really like messy, weird movie about a...
01:09:14
Speaker
cop who has to leave the force because he's an alcoholic and he shoots a guy like an unarmed man and then just spirals and then he gets pulled into this whole like prostitution ring just really like it's Oliver Stone shit wait he shoots a one-armed man
01:09:31
Speaker
An unarmed man.
01:09:33
Speaker
The one man from the fugitive.
01:09:35
Speaker
I didn't kill my wife.
01:09:37
Speaker
Yeah.
01:09:37
Speaker
He, he, there's a very funny interrogation scene where, and he's like with, um, like, uh, internal effect with IA and the police force.
01:09:45
Speaker
And they're asking him about the incident.
01:09:47
Speaker
And he says, the guy had a baseball bat and Jeff Bridges, he just keeps saying, I never said he was unarmed.
01:09:53
Speaker
It's like, yeah, he had a baseball bat and you shot him.
01:09:56
Speaker
Um,
01:09:57
Speaker
So that's pretty wild.
01:09:59
Speaker
But I enjoyed it.
01:10:00
Speaker
Bridges is great.
01:10:02
Speaker
And it's just about him trying to get clean.
01:10:06
Speaker
Sounds lovely.
01:10:07
Speaker
It's a cool little movie.
Media Critiques and Highlights
01:10:09
Speaker
And it was directed by Hal Ashby, which is just so fucking weird that Hal Ashby made a prostitution ring movie.
01:10:15
Speaker
My real high is a complete unknown.
01:10:18
Speaker
Hell yeah.
01:10:19
Speaker
I fucking loved.
01:10:21
Speaker
It made me cry a lot.
01:10:22
Speaker
People keep asking me if I'm back.
01:10:25
Speaker
thinking yeah yeah maybe i'm back um it's i thought it was absolutely astonishing uh monica barbaro forever um like i genuinely like i thought every element of it was fantastic i've been saying around the house i've just been like going up to um
01:10:43
Speaker
clarissa and just saying like go rub some dirt on the carpet like just all the johnny cash little asides that he says and um but monica barbara yeah play it loud big day overall like the whole movie like monica barbara's singing performance and her playing um is just it's just astonishing how like doing dylan is one thing and i think timmy does an excellent job um
01:11:08
Speaker
Joan Baez is like a classically trained singer and guitar player.
01:11:11
Speaker
And to like figure out how to do that in the time that they had and to do it so convincingly is fucking phenomenal.
01:11:18
Speaker
Every time she sang, especially when they were singing together, I was crying.
01:11:22
Speaker
I have it at, let's see, I think I have it at number four on the year.
01:11:25
Speaker
Yeah.
01:11:27
Speaker
right behind.
01:11:28
Speaker
I saw the TV glow and right above a Nora.
01:11:31
Speaker
Um, number one is maestro again.
01:11:33
Speaker
Number one is maestro again.
01:11:34
Speaker
It's still holding the top spot.
01:11:36
Speaker
Anytime I watch it, I'm like best movie of the year.
01:11:39
Speaker
I'm writing it in.
01:11:43
Speaker
Who left Snoopy in the vestibule?
01:11:45
Speaker
Um,
01:11:45
Speaker
I would never have been in Snoopy and the vestibule.
01:11:47
Speaker
I would never have been in Snoopy and the vestibule.
01:11:49
Speaker
Honestly, because of that scene, because of the I'm reading it in scene, I was like, you know what?
01:11:52
Speaker
Maybe we put Bradley Cooper in heat too.
01:11:55
Speaker
Let's just see what happens.
01:11:55
Speaker
Oh, I love it.
01:11:56
Speaker
But he's just his character from the mule.
01:12:00
Speaker
But yeah, completely known as my high.
01:12:02
Speaker
And I would like to hear from Joe Neal.
01:12:04
Speaker
Okay.
01:12:07
Speaker
I only watched one movie this week, and it ended up being really good.
01:12:12
Speaker
So my high is The Order, directed by Australian Justin Kerzel.
01:12:18
Speaker
The director of Assassin's Creed.
01:12:20
Speaker
Yeah, we don't talk about that one.
01:12:21
Speaker
He also directed the Macbeth movie with Michael Vaspender, and that shit rules.
01:12:26
Speaker
Hell yeah.
01:12:28
Speaker
And shot by Adam Arquipaugh, who shot the pilot episode, I think, of The Walking Dead.
01:12:33
Speaker
What the fuck am I talking about?
01:12:36
Speaker
True Detective.
01:12:37
Speaker
Oh, sick.
01:12:38
Speaker
This dude, Adam Arkapal, is one of my favorite digital cinematographers ever, and he only really works with Justin Curzel for some reason.
01:12:45
Speaker
He worked with, you know, Sex Pest Fukunaga on True Detective, but yeah.
01:12:55
Speaker
The Order is great.
01:12:56
Speaker
Jude Law is giving, barely hiding his British accent in this movie, but he does it really well.
01:13:02
Speaker
I love when he does that.
01:13:03
Speaker
Nicholas Holt plays a neo-Nazi
01:13:07
Speaker
uh and is really good because he does this he he does it in this weird way where he like has like a he like you can tell he cuts his own hair like that's part of his character and he only wears white t-shirts and jeans like he just kind of looks like a normal guy and he's very soft-spoken but he's like i don't know it's something about him he just nails the performance i really thought he was a nazi how's mark maron
01:13:33
Speaker
Uh, he, that's a spoiler.
01:13:35
Speaker
I'm not going to say that.
01:13:36
Speaker
Okay.
01:13:36
Speaker
Uh, Mark Maron was basically just doing his podcast.
01:13:40
Speaker
Okay.
01:13:41
Speaker
Like he plays a radio show host.
01:13:43
Speaker
Oh, cool.
01:13:45
Speaker
And so he basically, he talks about like,
01:13:50
Speaker
Every time it cuts back to him, he's answering questions.
01:13:54
Speaker
He's talking to audience members, and usually they're neo-Nazis who are yelling at him for being a Jew.
01:14:00
Speaker
And he's talking about how you think that the world is full of hate and you want to blame someone else for it, but I actually think that human beings are capable of good.
01:14:09
Speaker
And he gives a pretty good performance.
01:14:11
Speaker
I think he's a good actor.
01:14:12
Speaker
He is a good actor.
01:14:13
Speaker
I agree.
01:14:14
Speaker
Quick sidebar, because that's what the people come here for.
01:14:17
Speaker
Did y'all see Nicholas Holt on Conan's podcast?
01:14:22
Speaker
No, I didn't know that he was on it.
01:14:24
Speaker
I'm excited to listen to that.
01:14:25
Speaker
There's a joke that he tells and immediately just looks uncomfortable.
01:14:30
Speaker
Like, ah, I don't know if I'm allowed to say that.
01:14:33
Speaker
It's not even that bad.
01:14:35
Speaker
He goes...
01:14:36
Speaker
Did you hear about why me and my ex broke up?
01:14:41
Speaker
Yeah, it turns out we were incompatible.
01:14:43
Speaker
She was a Sagittarius.
01:14:44
Speaker
I'm a Sagittarius and she's just a cunt.
01:14:46
Speaker
That's really good.
01:14:52
Speaker
Obviously, Conan and the crew just lost their shit.
01:14:56
Speaker
He's just like, oh man.
01:14:58
Speaker
Whenever any of the guests say anything remotely funny, Conan fucking loses it.
01:15:02
Speaker
It's the best.
01:15:03
Speaker
I know.
01:15:04
Speaker
It's so good.
01:15:05
Speaker
It's very good.
01:15:06
Speaker
My honorable mention high this week was listening to an episode of a podcast about List.
01:15:12
Speaker
Very funny.
01:15:13
Speaker
But they just go on this really long, like 30-minute diatribe about fucking Morgan Spurlock.
01:15:21
Speaker
Hell yeah.
01:15:23
Speaker
And they talk about it for honestly way longer than you would ever assume anyone was going to talk about Morgan Spurlock.
01:15:28
Speaker
R&B Morgan Spurlock.
01:15:31
Speaker
Yeah, they make a lot of jokes about how they were going to have to supersize the caskets.
01:15:39
Speaker
So sorry, Rip Morgan Spurlock.
01:15:43
Speaker
My favorite weird Morgan Spurlock thing is one, the reveal in Super Size Me that it's like the reason that your cholesterol and blood sugar and all of your liver numbers were so fucked is because you're a raging alcoholic.
01:15:56
Speaker
Yeah.
01:15:57
Speaker
All in the documentary.
01:15:59
Speaker
Well, did you guys know that?
01:16:00
Speaker
Oh, keep going.
01:16:01
Speaker
Sorry.
01:16:01
Speaker
Oh, and that he directed a One Direction documentary.
01:16:04
Speaker
So when he died, Directioners were like, oh my God, rest in peace.
01:16:08
Speaker
Because they were like, they felt indebted to him for some reason.
01:16:11
Speaker
And it's like, I don't know, he kind of sucks.
01:16:13
Speaker
Yeah, whenever the Me Too stuff was coming out, Morgan Spurlock got ahead of it and was like, yeah, so basically I totally pressured young girls into having sex to me.
01:16:24
Speaker
But I'm apologizing.
01:16:26
Speaker
I want to be the first one to come out and just get ahead of this.
01:16:29
Speaker
And everyone was like, dude, what the fuck?
01:16:31
Speaker
Yeah, that's wild.
01:16:34
Speaker
And my low of the week was watching the Abbott It's Always Sunny crossover, not because it was bad.
01:16:45
Speaker
It was actually a pretty good crossover.
01:16:47
Speaker
But just watching McElhaney and Olsen just completely bastardize who those characters used to be.
01:16:54
Speaker
Damn.
01:16:54
Speaker
Yeah, dude.
01:16:55
Speaker
Like, they truly can't do it anymore.
01:16:57
Speaker
They don't have it.
01:16:58
Speaker
They're too big for their britches.
01:17:00
Speaker
Like, Charlie Day, he's getting in there.
01:17:03
Speaker
He's fucking doing his shit.
01:17:04
Speaker
Yeah.
01:17:05
Speaker
He's learning how to read, you know?
01:17:08
Speaker
He's talking about milk steak.
01:17:10
Speaker
Glenn is being Glenn.
01:17:13
Speaker
And Robin...
01:17:16
Speaker
Caitlin Olsen are just kind of like annoying.
01:17:18
Speaker
Yeah.
01:17:19
Speaker
Which is weird because I feel like the new seasons of Sunny have been good.
01:17:22
Speaker
Yeah.
01:17:22
Speaker
I mean, they have great writers who work on that show now.
01:17:25
Speaker
It's just that I think that Rob and Caitlin are both like...
01:17:28
Speaker
kind of narcissistic and annoying yeah i saw a clip of the episode where he's debating uh dennis about like faith versus science and it was just a huge reminder of like oh damn he doesn't have nearly as much juice as this anymore yeah dude the the old school like um
01:17:47
Speaker
And you know what?
01:17:47
Speaker
Once again, proven to be a science bitch is like one of the funniest things ever put on TV.
01:17:55
Speaker
Fight milk.
01:17:56
Speaker
All right, Red.
01:17:57
Speaker
Fight milk.
01:17:57
Speaker
Take us home.
01:18:00
Speaker
Kitten mittens.
01:18:05
Speaker
Denim chicken?
01:18:08
Speaker
My low... Oh, actually, I have been going through the newest season of Survivor, Survivor 47.
01:18:16
Speaker
I'm behind.
01:18:16
Speaker
47, Jesus Christ.
01:18:19
Speaker
And on the last episode that we watched, one of the things that I hate is when someone gets blindsided in a game of Survivor and then acts like they are the victim.
01:18:31
Speaker
And it's like, motherfucker, you're on television.
01:18:33
Speaker
Right.
01:18:35
Speaker
You're playing survivor.
01:18:36
Speaker
And it's also now I'm so tired of survivor contestants who overthink everything and they want to cement their survivor legacy instead of like, it's outwit, outlast, survive.
01:18:55
Speaker
Outwit, outplay, outlast.
01:18:57
Speaker
That's what you're supposed to do.
01:18:59
Speaker
Just fucking, like, develop your alliances, find hidden immunity idols, find advantages, be fucking good in challenges.
01:19:06
Speaker
I'm tired of the people who are, like, the people who have watched so much Survivor that they've convinced themselves that they know exactly what's going to happen, and they think themselves into such a stupid place.
01:19:19
Speaker
Survivor's still great, though.
01:19:20
Speaker
It's, like, the beauty of having a show like that where you just are always bringing in new people,
01:19:27
Speaker
is that it very rarely gets stale.
01:19:29
Speaker
Even challenges that you've seen before are still great.
01:19:32
Speaker
So that's my low of the week.
01:19:35
Speaker
Because we talk about 30 Rock all the time, and frankly, I think on our next episode, we will just have to do a small 30 Rock segment, because I'm also deep into my 30 Rock rewatch.
01:19:45
Speaker
Last night, I finished episode 210, which has maybe my favorite bit of the first three seasons of 30 Rock, which is the Midnight Train to Georgia segment.
01:19:57
Speaker
I watched it.
01:19:58
Speaker
I was watching it on my phone next to Maddie while she was reading in bed.
01:20:01
Speaker
We were both falling asleep.
01:20:02
Speaker
I went, Maddie, close your book.
01:20:03
Speaker
You have to watch this.
01:20:08
Speaker
Yeah, it's amazing.
01:20:10
Speaker
It's perfect.
01:20:11
Speaker
But my... And the only reason it's not my high is because I just think we talk about it too much.
01:20:15
Speaker
And we don't talk about it too much, but I just think, like...
01:20:19
Speaker
It feels better to celebrate something else.
01:20:21
Speaker
And so today at Joe saying he was very scared about it, I listened to all of Ethel Kane's perverts, which I think fucking rules.
01:20:32
Speaker
Oh yeah.
01:20:32
Speaker
I'm sure it does.
01:20:33
Speaker
I turned it on at 7 30 AM and I was like, I can't fucking do this right now.
01:20:37
Speaker
I listened to it on the way into work and then immediately sat down at my desk and started answering emails, listening to it.
01:20:43
Speaker
I, um, I like drone music.
01:20:46
Speaker
I like the kind of Gregorian chants.
01:20:47
Speaker
I like what she's going for.
01:20:50
Speaker
I think Hayden is a genius, and I think that she is just making some of the coolest music around, and I want her to keep doing that.
01:20:57
Speaker
So, Ethel Kane's Perverts, it is not for everyone.
01:20:59
Speaker
Frankly, I don't think it's for, like, 50% of people.
01:21:03
Speaker
It's really difficult, and it's abrasive in a very specific way, and it is scary, but it really clicked for me specifically.
01:21:16
Speaker
So I'm looking forward to just continuing to listen to it, letting it be a record that just keeps building in my estimation and keeps being part of my listening for a while.
01:21:29
Speaker
I really also do think that it's best to, I think especially with drone albums, is it's best to listen to them in full.
01:21:39
Speaker
I think picking and choosing songs, I think listening to half of it and then pausing is not the proper way.
01:21:46
Speaker
for any of our 12 listeners.
01:21:48
Speaker
If you're going to listen to it, sit down and dedicate the hour and 20 minutes to it because I think it's worth it.
01:21:54
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
01:21:54
Speaker
Don't ingest any substances.
01:21:56
Speaker
You might kill yourself.
01:21:59
Speaker
I have seen people who have gotten very high and very scared.
01:22:03
Speaker
So don't do that.
01:22:04
Speaker
Don't do that.
01:22:05
Speaker
I was stone cold sober and I sat down with a cup of coffee and just...
01:22:10
Speaker
Enjoyed it.
01:22:11
Speaker
You see the fucking Kevin Hart meme where it was like, this is dark drone music.
01:22:16
Speaker
Take your
Conclusion and Future Collaborations
01:22:17
Speaker
sensitive ass back to Preacher's Daughter.
01:22:23
Speaker
Well, gentlemen, thank you for participating in this here bingo card.
01:22:29
Speaker
Thank you to our beloved Spencer Smith Esquire, the internet's only podcasting lawyer, for coming and blessing us with his presence.
01:22:39
Speaker
Listener, thank you for being part of our wonderful show.
01:22:42
Speaker
We're going to keep this shit rolling all fucking year.
01:22:46
Speaker
Let's go.
01:22:47
Speaker
Getting more guests in.
01:22:49
Speaker
We're getting an A-lister.
01:22:50
Speaker
Yeah, we're getting an A-lister before the end of the year.
01:22:53
Speaker
We're actually merging with Maria Menounos' heel squad.
01:22:56
Speaker
Ooh.
01:22:58
Speaker
I would pay so much money if we could do that.
01:23:00
Speaker
That's only health podcast.
01:23:03
Speaker
Amen.
01:23:04
Speaker
All right.
01:23:05
Speaker
Well, love you.
01:23:06
Speaker
Bye.
01:23:07
Speaker
Love you.
01:23:07
Speaker
Bye.