Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
PGW 30: The Ric Flair Witch Project, WOO!
4 Plays11 months ago
An episode about found footage and found family. The boys say goodbye to horror month and hello to frogman.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction & Setup
00:00:00
Speaker
In October of 2024, four podcasters disappeared in the woods near Burkittsville, Maryland, while discussing jacking off.
00:00:06
Speaker
A year later, their audio was found.
00:00:10
Speaker
Welcome to Paddington Gone Wild, the internet's only podcast with shaky cam technology.
00:00:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:00:16
Speaker
I'm one of your hosts, Red Red.
00:00:17
Speaker
You might see that later.
00:00:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:00:18
Speaker
You might see that later.
00:00:19
Speaker
Joined, as always, by my illustrious co-hosts, he made all of the various twig sculptures, Joe Hayes.
00:00:26
Speaker
It's sort of a passion of mine.
00:00:28
Speaker
I also did it for True Detective.
00:00:31
Speaker
Oh, okay.
00:00:32
Speaker
He is the yellow king.
00:00:35
Speaker
He called out sick the one day he was supposed to shadow the Barcelona fire department.
00:00:39
Speaker
Austin Ingalls.
00:00:41
Speaker
You know, it just happened that way.
00:00:44
Speaker
I did go to the scene of the crime.
00:00:46
Speaker
I was there outside.
00:00:48
Speaker
I was not on the megaphone, though.
00:00:50
Speaker
No, no, no.
00:00:51
Speaker
Not on the megaphone.
00:00:52
Speaker
Good to know.
00:00:53
Speaker
Good to know.
00:00:54
Speaker
And the man who insisted on all of TJ Miller's voiceovers and Cloverfield, Zach.
00:00:59
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:01:00
Speaker
I just love what you have to say.
00:01:04
Speaker
TJ Miller, famously cool dude.
00:01:08
Speaker
Famously not annoying person.
00:01:10
Speaker
Famously not sex pest.
00:01:12
Speaker
Gentlemen, how the hell are we?
00:01:14
Speaker
Great.
00:01:14
Speaker
Pretty good.
00:01:15
Speaker
Definitely feeling neutral about situations happening.
00:01:20
Speaker
If there's one thing about Joe, it's that he is neutral.
00:01:23
Speaker
I have no strong opinions on anything.
00:01:25
Speaker
On anything.
00:01:26
Speaker
Anything in the world.
00:01:27
Speaker
The man's never had an opinion.
00:01:30
Speaker
Except for my giant dick.
00:01:32
Speaker
I got an opinion for you right there, pal.
00:01:34
Speaker
Today's episode of the pod is going to be a damn fun
Exploring Found Footage Horror
00:01:38
Speaker
one.
00:01:38
Speaker
We are saying goodbye to Horror Month with an exploration of the most contemporary genre of horror.
00:01:46
Speaker
The one that is certainly the newest, especially out of the three that we previously talked about.
00:01:51
Speaker
We are going to be talking about the found footage horror phenomena.
00:01:55
Speaker
We'll kind of through the lens of talking about Blair Witch and kind of decide if we want to talk about it first or talk about it at the end or whatever, as well as a couple other things.
00:02:03
Speaker
Zach insisted we watch a little film called Frogman.
00:02:07
Speaker
Sorry.
00:02:08
Speaker
Yeah, I didn't get to it.
00:02:09
Speaker
Yeah, so it's just the two of you guys.
00:02:12
Speaker
I think it's the guy who loves frogs.
00:02:14
Speaker
I should have, you know, I had to watch Frogman.
00:02:16
Speaker
Yeah, I have thoughts.
00:02:17
Speaker
We should do a couple minutes on it at least in a little bit.
00:02:20
Speaker
Yeah, we'll talk about a couple other things.
00:02:22
Speaker
Austin and I both watched Wreck for the first time this past week.
00:02:26
Speaker
Talk about Ghostwatch, which is a really fucking cool British horror movie, which is kind of like...
00:02:32
Speaker
in reality is kind of the er text of the found footage genre.
00:02:37
Speaker
I'll talk about some of the more unsung found footage that I've found dumpster diving on Tubi because there's some good shit on there.
00:02:44
Speaker
Hell yeah.
00:02:45
Speaker
Love it.
00:02:46
Speaker
We might have to, I think in November especially before we get into end of the year stuff,
00:02:51
Speaker
We might have to do a It Came From Tubi pod.
00:02:55
Speaker
I have plenty.
00:02:56
Speaker
I like that.
00:02:57
Speaker
That's a great idea.
00:02:58
Speaker
Great idea.
00:03:00
Speaker
Because Tubi also just has like badass, like pretty popular movies.
00:03:04
Speaker
Tubi is like one of the only streaming services that recognizes that movies were made before 1980.
00:03:08
Speaker
Pretty much.
00:03:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:11
Speaker
Pretty much.
00:03:12
Speaker
It's like them and Criterion and a little bit of Max.
00:03:15
Speaker
Max, because they obviously... Because of Criterion.
00:03:18
Speaker
And Turner Classic.
00:03:20
Speaker
TCM.
00:03:21
Speaker
Turner Classic.
00:03:23
Speaker
Turner Classic.
00:03:25
Speaker
Turner Classic.
00:03:27
Speaker
This is a certified Turner Classic.
00:03:30
Speaker
We gotta pitch that to Turner Classic.
00:03:33
Speaker
Dude, if we could get this podcast sponsored by TCM, I mean, I know we'd eventually have to answer to Zaslav and fuck that guy, but...
00:03:41
Speaker
Like, I would love to be sponsored by TCM.
00:03:44
Speaker
You think we can get Zaslav on the pod?
00:03:46
Speaker
And if Zaslav wants to give us money, I'll take his money.
00:03:52
Speaker
Yeah, I'll take his money.
00:03:54
Speaker
Shit.
00:03:55
Speaker
Just don't snip my nuts like you snip that Batwoman footage, you fucking asshole.
00:04:02
Speaker
I mean, according to the last couple Bad Boys movies, the two directors that were doing the Batgirl have some juice.
00:04:12
Speaker
Yeah, dude.
00:04:13
Speaker
Those movies are fun.
00:04:15
Speaker
Most recent Bad Boys movies are fun.
00:04:17
Speaker
That shot where the camera is attached to the gun rig and the newest Bad Boys is one of the coolest action movie shots I've seen recently.
00:04:24
Speaker
The behind-the-scenes footage on that is fascinating.
00:04:26
Speaker
The way that they accomplish it.
00:04:28
Speaker
Apparently Will Smith was farting all up and down that set.
00:04:31
Speaker
Apparently he's a set farter.
00:04:33
Speaker
That's my favorite piece of... Allegedly, allegedly.
00:04:35
Speaker
Allegedly a set farter.
00:04:38
Speaker
Set farter.
00:04:41
Speaker
Typically, this is the time of which I ask one of my co-hosts to talk about why they chose their particular genre.
00:04:46
Speaker
Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on.
00:04:48
Speaker
Red, so why found footage?
00:04:50
Speaker
Why Blair Witch?
00:04:53
Speaker
Wow.
00:04:54
Speaker
Pretty good impression.
00:04:55
Speaker
You took up the mantle.
00:04:55
Speaker
That was really good.
00:04:56
Speaker
Pretty good impression.
00:04:57
Speaker
I have a little bit too much YouTuber voice on it.
00:04:59
Speaker
No, it's okay.
00:05:01
Speaker
To me, it was a little bit too much.
00:05:03
Speaker
Oh, fuck.
00:05:04
Speaker
What's the guy who does the terrible talk show?
00:05:06
Speaker
Or did it?
00:05:07
Speaker
And he's a sex pest.
00:05:09
Speaker
He's a weirdo.
00:05:09
Speaker
So many of these?
00:05:09
Speaker
With a black background?
00:05:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:13
Speaker
What's his name?
00:05:14
Speaker
What's his name?
00:05:15
Speaker
Larry King.
00:05:16
Speaker
No, not Larry King.
00:05:17
Speaker
What's his fucking name?
00:05:18
Speaker
They reference him all the time on Blank Check.
00:05:20
Speaker
Yeah, the guy who would just be like, so why did you make this movie?
00:05:24
Speaker
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:05:26
Speaker
What's his fucking name?
00:05:27
Speaker
This is a good bit.
00:05:28
Speaker
Yeah, what's his name?
00:05:30
Speaker
Charlie Rose?
00:05:31
Speaker
Charlie Rose.
00:05:32
Speaker
Yeah, that was Charlie Rose.
00:05:34
Speaker
That was a good one.
00:05:34
Speaker
Paul Joseph.
00:05:36
Speaker
Thank you.
00:05:36
Speaker
God, that was going to kill me.
00:05:37
Speaker
I mean, fuck that guy too.
00:05:39
Speaker
But it was like Charlie Rose was like, why found footage?
00:05:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:46
Speaker
Well, I took some footage and I found it.
00:05:50
Speaker
Jerry!
00:05:51
Speaker
Well, the good thing about found footage movies, and I'll just be the first to say this right now, scientifically proven Joe Hayes' stamp of approval, all of these movies are real.
The Blair Witch Project: An Obsession
00:06:02
Speaker
All of them.
00:06:05
Speaker
They wouldn't call it found footage if they didn't find the footage.
00:06:09
Speaker
That's illegal to lie about stuff like that.
00:06:11
Speaker
It's true.
00:06:13
Speaker
In 1995, they found the footage in Burkittsville, Maryland.
00:06:15
Speaker
It was the whole thing.
00:06:17
Speaker
The interesting thing is that I liked found footage before I decided that we needed to talk about the Blair Witch, but I hadn't seen a ton of it.
00:06:28
Speaker
But I had...
00:06:29
Speaker
Over the last year, I've kind of developed this obsession with the Blair Witch Project, and I've just shown it to as many people as I can, and always been like, this movie fucking rules.
00:06:39
Speaker
It's really scary.
00:06:40
Speaker
And they're always like, I wasn't scared at all.
00:06:42
Speaker
And I'm like, fucking shut up, dude.
00:06:44
Speaker
It's so scary.
00:06:45
Speaker
You're so fucking scared right now.
00:06:48
Speaker
I'm so fucking scared right now.
00:06:50
Speaker
I'm scared by you saying you're not scared.
00:06:51
Speaker
Stop being not scared.
00:06:56
Speaker
And the reason I think I've become obsessed with it is that
00:06:59
Speaker
It feels like a particular artifact of both 1999, obviously this year is the 25th anniversary of the Blair Witch, but there's a particular line that Heather says in the film that stuck with me, and Adam Naiman has a really good Letterboxd review, of which it's the first line of his Letterboxd review, which is Heather saying, it's really hard to get lost in America these days.
00:07:21
Speaker
Yeah, I saw that review.
00:07:25
Speaker
And I think that there's a particular...
00:07:28
Speaker
I just love that it feels extremely contemporary and very thoughtful and a film that feels uniquely about America.
00:07:39
Speaker
You know, it's interesting, like, we did the folk horror episode, not a single folk horror film that we talked about took place in the United States.
00:07:47
Speaker
We've talked about Japanese horror.
00:07:49
Speaker
We talked about Korean horror.
00:07:50
Speaker
We talked about English and Spanish horror and horror from all over the place.
00:07:55
Speaker
But, like, Blair Witch...
00:07:58
Speaker
is both found footage and, frankly, folk horror that is American.
00:08:04
Speaker
It is... It feels religious but not evangelical.
00:08:10
Speaker
It really feels like this particular ghost story that can only exist in this part of Appalachia.
00:08:17
Speaker
And so I just, like... There was something about it where I just, like, can't get it out of my head.
00:08:22
Speaker
And the, like...
00:08:28
Speaker
The way that the film moves and the pacing of it.
00:08:31
Speaker
And it really, as I've watched a ton of found footage this last couple weeks, and as I've really considered the genre, a thing that I've thought about a lot is that these are horror films that require active participation.
00:08:48
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:08:49
Speaker
And that's a thing that like, and that to me is a really important part of the genre because, and Zach and I will get into it, we talk about Frogman and we talk about Wreck and all these things, is one of the biggest things is when you look at fucking letterbox reviews, especially like more negative letterbox reviews of found footage horror movies, it's always people saying, oh my God, the performances are so shitty.
00:09:13
Speaker
Oh my God, the performances.
00:09:14
Speaker
Oh my God, the dialogue.
00:09:16
Speaker
And it's a moment of which like,
00:09:19
Speaker
I just have to ask these people, like, do you know what it means to be a person?
00:09:24
Speaker
To be alive, to be afraid, to, like, to be, like, seeing negative reviews about Blair Witch and then, like, truly trying to ask these people, like, have you considered what it's like to be lost in the woods?
00:09:40
Speaker
That's crazy to me because I agree there's some stilted dialogue in some found footage, but not Blair Witch.
00:09:47
Speaker
No, Blair Witch is pretty economical.
00:09:48
Speaker
It's very good dialogue.
00:09:49
Speaker
It's very well improvised.
00:09:52
Speaker
I feel like they did improvise a lot of it.
00:09:55
Speaker
I was going to say this earlier, but there's a really interesting thing I found with found footage where I feel like because of the way that they're filmed, they just sort of become highly improvisational.
00:10:05
Speaker
Totally.
00:10:06
Speaker
But it always I can always tell when the one line that they wrote like has to be said in the scene like it's hard to get lost in America these days.
00:10:15
Speaker
I was like, OK, so there was the line that they were like, OK, we need to say this because that's what the movie is about.
00:10:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:23
Speaker
I mean, on the IMDb, it's interesting for Blair Witch, at least, Heather Donahue, the main character, gets like an uncredited screenplay credit.
00:10:33
Speaker
And I don't know if that was like her involvement at the script level or if they're attributing like her improvs or all of their improvs to her, like kind of being the catalyst.
00:10:44
Speaker
I'm sure it's not mutually exclusive.
00:10:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:46
Speaker
Yeah, for sure.
00:10:47
Speaker
It seemed like everybody was very involved.
00:10:48
Speaker
I can tell that she was a great person to be in a scene with.
00:10:52
Speaker
She's a very naturalistic actor.
00:10:56
Speaker
Very much exudes a real person, like a lived-in character.
00:11:00
Speaker
All of them do, really.
00:11:02
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:11:04
Speaker
All three of them are incredible.
00:11:07
Speaker
We've kind of already started, but I think it's probably better just to focus on Blair Witch and then we can kind of roam and meander and have some more fun with it.
00:11:13
Speaker
But...
00:11:15
Speaker
Yeah, it's so interesting how much I've just heard people espouse negative opinions about Blair Witch, and then you watch it for the first time.
00:11:26
Speaker
I watched it for the first time two years ago.
00:11:29
Speaker
I watched it with a friend of the pod, and we were watching it in my house, and they fell asleep.
00:11:36
Speaker
And it's like 10.30 at night.
00:11:38
Speaker
All the lights are off.
00:11:40
Speaker
I'm essentially watching this alone.
00:11:42
Speaker
And like we are all young men in our late 20s.
00:11:47
Speaker
It's like we've spent our entire lives looking at parodies of Blair Witch.
00:11:52
Speaker
whether it be somebody like homages to Blair Witch, whether it be like, like the Simpsons has done multiple Blair Witch gags, SNL has done Blair Witch gags, people like Scary Movie has done Blair Witch gags, but then also like thinking about the most afraid I have ever been in any film ever is watching a found footage horror movie called Grave Encounters.
00:12:15
Speaker
Came out in 2011.
00:12:17
Speaker
Horrifying film.
00:12:19
Speaker
And
00:12:21
Speaker
So much of what makes that movie that movie is being indebted to Blair Witch, but then also people being like, yeah, yeah, yeah, but this is like, we're going to do our thing.
00:12:31
Speaker
And so I felt like I knew Blair Witch beat for beat.
00:12:35
Speaker
And then you watch it and you're like, holy shit.
00:12:39
Speaker
And if you're willing to buy in and be invested, that ending is...
00:12:46
Speaker
remarkable.
00:12:48
Speaker
The thing that I had forgotten about it is the setup of the ending.
00:12:52
Speaker
Because I'd only seen this once before re-watching it and I had forgotten the bit that they talk about about that house where he would make the kids who weren't getting...
00:13:02
Speaker
like tortured or killed turn away like i i remember that ending as an image and being very frightened by it just as an image just as like uh oh this is this is irrevocable there there's no one going home and but i had forgotten the setup that happens for the ending um which is so brilliantly deployed because they never talk about it again
00:13:25
Speaker
This was my third watch and this was the most I got a lot out of that first opening segment.
00:13:33
Speaker
Like it's so well done.
00:13:37
Speaker
And all of the people they talk to at the beginning or so.
00:13:39
Speaker
The little girl is like actually very disturbing.
00:13:42
Speaker
It's very upsetting.
00:13:44
Speaker
I had forgotten about that too.
00:13:45
Speaker
And like I had remembered her mom and I had remembered the old man.
00:13:50
Speaker
But there's something about returning to the movie where the first time I don't think you think about that little girl.
00:13:55
Speaker
You're just like, oh, okay, something.
00:13:56
Speaker
But then knowing where it goes and how upset
Themes and Cultural Impact
00:13:59
Speaker
she is, is like, oh, oh, oh, you really, honey, you really shouldn't do this.
00:14:03
Speaker
Like, don't go out there.
00:14:04
Speaker
Like, this little girl is tapped in.
00:14:07
Speaker
She knows what she's doing.
00:14:09
Speaker
I love the fishing duo.
00:14:11
Speaker
Those are my favorite.
00:14:12
Speaker
Those guys are awesome.
00:14:14
Speaker
Can I talk about my experience watching it this time around?
00:14:17
Speaker
Please.
00:14:18
Speaker
Dear listener, do not try this at home.
00:14:23
Speaker
This is done by a trained professional.
00:14:24
Speaker
It's like a jackass.
00:14:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:28
Speaker
It's a gone jackass.
00:14:30
Speaker
So I sat down to rewatch The Blair Witch in preparation for this episode, and I was a little buzzed and sat down and I had some like some bullshit like hamburger helper just simmering on the stove.
00:14:45
Speaker
and go and sit down it's just simmering and folks i have not cleaned my oven in a while like proper proper cleaning and the scene when the blair witch starts shaking their tent a two foot high flame erupted on my stove top oh my god and while that scene's going on in the background
00:15:06
Speaker
I'm trying to figure out where my fire extinguisher is, and I cannot find it.
00:15:11
Speaker
I'm fucking panicking.
00:15:13
Speaker
I am not fully sober.
00:15:14
Speaker
That is the most horrifying thing.
00:15:16
Speaker
And I genuinely thought I might have a heart attack and die.
00:15:21
Speaker
So, safe to say, like, if this movie wasn't already one of the scariest things I've ever seen, this, like...
00:15:29
Speaker
That doesn't help.
00:15:30
Speaker
God gave you a mixed media experience.
00:15:33
Speaker
That's one way to look at it.
00:15:35
Speaker
The 4DX experience.
00:15:36
Speaker
Yeah, the immersion theater.
00:15:39
Speaker
God, can you imagine being in one of those god-awful chairs in a 4DX screening with this movie?
00:15:47
Speaker
Most of it's just gentle rocking back and forth.
00:15:49
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:15:51
Speaker
You're just kind of walking with them.
00:15:53
Speaker
And then all of a sudden... And then the camera falls over the entire theater.
00:15:58
Speaker
The whole aisle just turns perpendicular.
00:16:00
Speaker
And then people have to sue the theater for whiplash.
00:16:02
Speaker
Yeah, well... Wouldn't be the first time.
00:16:06
Speaker
Even Austin, you talk about the setup.
00:16:08
Speaker
Is that they go to the house because they hear Mike's... Or not Mike's voice...
00:16:16
Speaker
Who's the other guy?
00:16:16
Speaker
One of the guys.
00:16:20
Speaker
No, it's Mike and... Ricky, John.
00:16:24
Speaker
Josh.
00:16:25
Speaker
Mike and Josh.
00:16:26
Speaker
I was just going to say names until you thought of it.
00:16:28
Speaker
They hear Josh's voice, and he's been gone now for two full days.
00:16:34
Speaker
And, like, I had... It was terrifying on the first watch when Heather finds the bundle of his shirt, and it has the teeth in it.
00:16:45
Speaker
And, like, the pieces of hair and all the blood.
00:16:47
Speaker
It's not cool.
00:16:49
Speaker
And I was, like, horrified by it the first time.
00:16:51
Speaker
And then I had forgotten about it for the full 18 months before I watched it again.
00:16:58
Speaker
And watching it, and on a rewatch, I was, like, sick to my stomach.
00:17:04
Speaker
It's so gross.
00:17:06
Speaker
So then all this buildup, and Josh is calling to them from this house.
00:17:12
Speaker
Just how...
00:17:14
Speaker
electrifying it is and like truly like toe curling like you feel it in your shoulders just like no please god don't just don't just fucking don't just don't do it don't go in but but they're trapped i think that's also like one of the like one of the scariest parts of this movie is that feeling of it's inescapable that feeling of like we've wandered
00:17:44
Speaker
for seven days and we can't get out yeah especially like that part where they talk about having crossed the same river again and it's just like because he's like well maybe we try west why would we try west we've been going east for like 30 miles because well east didn't work and that is a really scary like yeah like i mean when like the directions don't work anymore i don't know yeah this company like the thing you rely on treadmill
00:18:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:10
Speaker
I mean, when when Mike reveals that he's thrown away the map, it's like, oh, like obviously there's there's that element where you're like, well, he's not wrong.
00:18:21
Speaker
Like the map clearly wasn't helping.
00:18:23
Speaker
But then he starts like laughing.
00:18:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:25
Speaker
And you're like, oh, oh, this is this is.
00:18:28
Speaker
Oh, poppy's lost.
00:18:29
Speaker
South.
00:18:31
Speaker
Have any of you this sounds like a non sequitur, but it's not.
00:18:34
Speaker
Have any of you seen Soderbergh's Unsane?
00:18:37
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:38
Speaker
Very good movie.
00:18:39
Speaker
I really like that movie.
00:18:40
Speaker
Disagree, but go ahead.
00:18:41
Speaker
I'm with you.
00:18:42
Speaker
You're with Joe or with me?
00:18:44
Speaker
No, I'm with you, Austin.
00:18:44
Speaker
I like it a lot.
00:18:46
Speaker
But Josh, from this movie, the only other thing I've seen him in is he plays the stalker in Unsane.
00:18:51
Speaker
Yep.
00:18:52
Speaker
And he starts popping up in her vision everywhere.
00:18:56
Speaker
And I was like, I had just watched Blair Witch a month earlier when I watched Unsane.
00:19:01
Speaker
And I was like, nah, no.
00:19:02
Speaker
No, I don't like this.
00:19:03
Speaker
I don't like this.
00:19:04
Speaker
That's the guy who left.
00:19:06
Speaker
Like, I don't like this.
00:19:07
Speaker
Hey, pal.
00:19:08
Speaker
This might be the same guy.
00:19:10
Speaker
This guy might be haunted.
00:19:11
Speaker
I don't really like this.
00:19:13
Speaker
Speaking of, I had a lot more sympathy for Mike in this rewatch.
00:19:17
Speaker
Because I remember watching it and just being like, Mike is such an asshole.
00:19:20
Speaker
Why are you fucking yelling at her like that?
00:19:22
Speaker
But she's also yelling.
00:19:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:25
Speaker
Then you realize this dude doesn't really fucking know these people.
00:19:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:29
Speaker
Like he's just he's just gigging in the situation and they don't clear like they don't seem to know what the fuck they're doing at all.
00:19:39
Speaker
So justice for Mike.
00:19:42
Speaker
Every single thing that happens in the Blair Witch Project happens every time you do a student short film.
00:19:50
Speaker
Another fact, another disclaimer.
00:19:53
Speaker
It's happened.
00:19:54
Speaker
I've made three short student films at Baylor, and every single time I lost someone
Humor and Impressions
00:20:00
Speaker
in a cabin,
00:20:03
Speaker
And people shake your tent.
00:20:04
Speaker
And there's a dude that's like yelling.
00:20:08
Speaker
Usually it's me.
00:20:08
Speaker
It's a chicken or the egg thing.
00:20:10
Speaker
It's like, did that start with Blair Witch or was Blair Witch just a byproduct?
00:20:13
Speaker
I think, to be serious now, to be frank, to be French even.
00:20:19
Speaker
Let him be frank.
00:20:20
Speaker
Jesus.
00:20:22
Speaker
No, literally be Frank Reynolds impression.
00:20:25
Speaker
I was going to say be Frank from House of Cards.
00:20:28
Speaker
Yeah, Frank from House of Cards.
00:20:29
Speaker
Frank Reynolds is Danny DeVito.
00:20:32
Speaker
Danny DeVito.
00:20:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:34
Speaker
Okay.
00:20:34
Speaker
But Blair Witch, interestingly enough, I think the movie is scary now.
00:20:38
Speaker
It's just a tense movie.
00:20:39
Speaker
But can you imagine watching this and not knowing it isn't a documentary?
00:20:44
Speaker
Oh, dude.
00:20:45
Speaker
I think there's articles from the time like Vanity Fair of people leaving and being like, those people are dead.
00:20:49
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:50
Speaker
Like those people are for real.
00:20:51
Speaker
And it's like,
00:20:52
Speaker
Imagine seeing this at a fucking festival because you literally don't know anything about it when you start the movie.
00:20:57
Speaker
Probably like a midnight screening and you get out at like 140 and you're just like what the absolute fuck.
00:21:04
Speaker
It debuted at Sundance.
00:21:06
Speaker
You imagine you're in Park City like a midnight screening.
00:21:10
Speaker
Mormon just got done soaking.
00:21:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:13
Speaker
You get out and it's January in Park City.
00:21:15
Speaker
It's freezing cold and you're like just so.
00:21:18
Speaker
And you probably have moderate altitude sickness.
00:21:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:21
Speaker
You're probably like, I don't really like this.
00:21:23
Speaker
It's not great.
00:21:25
Speaker
It's absolutely horrifying.
00:21:27
Speaker
I love that you brought up like justice for Mike because one of the, a line that I had forgotten is Heather in her confession saying,
00:21:35
Speaker
Her confession is not just like, I'm sorry.
00:21:38
Speaker
It's her saying, it's my fault.
00:21:41
Speaker
That's why it's so effective to me, which is why I also think like any criticism of the confession I just find to be dog shit.
00:21:49
Speaker
No, it was a great scene.
00:21:50
Speaker
Well delivered, well acted.
00:21:52
Speaker
Yeah, it's so it's one of the most effective horror movie moments like Austin.
00:21:57
Speaker
I'll talk about it later.
00:21:58
Speaker
But watching a movie like Wreck, which I liked quite a bit.
00:22:03
Speaker
So that was awesome.
00:22:04
Speaker
But like there's never a moment in Wreck of of this amount of emotional vulnerability from anyone in that film, as much as there's like parents and children and husbands and wives involved.
00:22:17
Speaker
But this moment of Heather... And it's not actually her fault because it turns out there's a fucking demon that lives in the woods that's trapping these kids.
00:22:27
Speaker
Or it's time travel.
00:22:28
Speaker
That's the other... Interesting.
00:22:30
Speaker
Or it's time travel if you've seen the Adam Wingard Blair Witch sequel.
00:22:34
Speaker
It would have you believe that it's time travel, which I could probably go on for 20 minutes about what makes that movie not work.
00:22:42
Speaker
It's absolutely not time travel and that shit pisses me off.
00:22:46
Speaker
Yeah, the Adam Wingard movie is like, yeah, dude, it's time travel.
00:22:49
Speaker
Well, Adam Wingard's a nerd, and I mean that as a compliment, but sometimes it doesn't come out right.
00:22:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:55
Speaker
That's fair.
00:22:56
Speaker
Well, it's extra poignant, too, because of the dialogue where it's just like, oh, I get the camera now.
00:23:02
Speaker
This is like your... That was another one of those lines where it's like, they wrote this.
00:23:08
Speaker
This is one of the non-improvised lines.
00:23:11
Speaker
But it really works.
00:23:12
Speaker
It is.
00:23:13
Speaker
Well, and Red, you're talking about rec, too.
00:23:15
Speaker
It's like,
00:23:16
Speaker
wrecked i think i really liked it i
Diving into Wreck and Other Films
00:23:20
Speaker
think to its detriment it does kind of try to shoehorn in some of that emotion and that's what's so magical in blair which is like it doesn't not at all feel shoehorned in no most no partially very natural yeah and i think part part of it with wreck is like wreck is supernatural like we'll get to it but it is like
00:23:39
Speaker
you know, it's a monster movie too.
00:23:42
Speaker
It's a found footage monster movie.
00:23:43
Speaker
Whereas like, this is about everything you don't see.
00:23:47
Speaker
And like, that to me is so much scarier and gives so many more avenues to like insanity.
00:23:55
Speaker
That is valid.
00:23:56
Speaker
You know, it's like, to me, it feels so, it feels so much more genuinely emotional without ever, to me, feeling like they were pushing for an emotional moment.
00:24:05
Speaker
Like, I agree with you, Joe, like you can feel where those lines are written, but the, the improvs are so good that like, it really ties them in, you know?
00:24:13
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:24:15
Speaker
It never took me out of it when I would hear those lines.
00:24:20
Speaker
It just was kind of a funny.
00:24:22
Speaker
It's a thing to notice, which is fun.
00:24:24
Speaker
Because, yeah, you can just feel the writers being like, yeah, get here.
00:24:28
Speaker
You have to get here, which is great.
00:24:30
Speaker
One that a line or really like a moment that
00:24:35
Speaker
I have no idea if it was written or not.
00:24:37
Speaker
If it was written, it was performed very naturalistically.
00:24:40
Speaker
But Mike spending like 12 minutes of the movie just being like, do we have cigarettes?
00:24:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:49
Speaker
Like there is like that.
00:24:50
Speaker
Like, and it's it starts as being kind of like it's the late 90s.
00:24:55
Speaker
Fucking everybody smokes.
00:24:56
Speaker
They're like kids in their 20s.
00:24:59
Speaker
But then it turns into like.
00:25:02
Speaker
In the same scene of which Mike starts asking Heather, like, what are you going to eat when you get home?
00:25:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:07
Speaker
Or like, what do you like to do on a Sunday?
00:25:08
Speaker
And in that same scene, they start talking about cigarettes again.
00:25:12
Speaker
It's like, cigarettes feel like a comfort of another place.
00:25:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:16
Speaker
You know, it feels familiar.
00:25:17
Speaker
It's like a blanket.
00:25:18
Speaker
Like, it's his security.
00:25:19
Speaker
It's like, and he can't find it.
00:25:21
Speaker
Like, he can't find anything else.
00:25:24
Speaker
Yeah, the moment of joy when he finds the one at the bottom of his bag.
00:25:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:28
Speaker
You're just like, it's the only happiness this guy has left.
00:25:32
Speaker
The only thread to reality.
00:25:34
Speaker
One of my favorite ways to read Blair Witch is kind of talking about how it's so quintessentially American.
00:25:43
Speaker
Sorry.
00:25:43
Speaker
No, it's fine.
00:25:44
Speaker
Just don't interrupt me again.
00:25:51
Speaker
But it's like a quintessentially American horror movie.
00:25:56
Speaker
It's very much based in things that we're all still afraid of.
00:25:58
Speaker
Like if you look at what's popular horror wise in the internet right now, it's.
00:26:02
Speaker
like the back rooms or like Lovecraftian incomprehensible horrors stuff like that and then Blair Witch plays in those same spaces of like the thing that's scary about the back rooms or like House of Leaves or something like that is like
00:26:21
Speaker
getting caught up in something that you can't get out of.
00:26:23
Speaker
And I think that's what the American, like the American dream turned into that of like, now you realize you're in the, you got a job, but it doesn't pay you enough and you can't get promoted.
00:26:33
Speaker
And like, uh, trapped.
00:26:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:36
Speaker
And so how far in the house of leaves are you?
00:26:40
Speaker
But I, I think I'm about halfway through.
00:26:46
Speaker
I Joe, I did think when you were saying that and kind of watching the movie, I thought about a movie that both you and I've watched recently, Red Rooms.
00:26:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:55
Speaker
Because like to me, that movie is tapping into that same like sort of fear of the unknown and what's out there because it's about the dark web.
00:27:02
Speaker
Like it's about this thing that you hear like noted and it's explained very in depth in the movie in a way that I really like.
00:27:10
Speaker
But it's like.
00:27:11
Speaker
It's this space beyond us.
00:27:14
Speaker
And that's how explorers thought of the American West.
00:27:18
Speaker
It's like, we don't know what the fuck is out there.
00:27:19
Speaker
And that was the dream.
00:27:21
Speaker
And then you realize the nightmare that that dream can become.
00:27:24
Speaker
That freedom being out there with only your own devices.
00:27:27
Speaker
And also, the thing about... Red Room... Yeah, it's a great example of that.
00:27:31
Speaker
But I think the thing that I was pointing to in Blair Witch is that the...
00:27:36
Speaker
fear comes from being in a place and then not realizing that walking in and then realizing you're trapped yeah for sure like it's it's about it's not like it's not even like a fear of the unknown because they don't even they don't give a shit they don't they're not they're excited yeah they're not worried until they've been taken out of their like they got caught up in a place that has now left with that left with them in it
00:28:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:02
Speaker
And it's like that just kind of like feels very, feels very capitalism.
00:28:09
Speaker
I think there's also a degree of which it's like, it was very, how would Zizek say it?
00:28:14
Speaker
Ideology.
00:28:15
Speaker
Ideology.
00:28:17
Speaker
Zizek.
00:28:18
Speaker
Yeah, you have to.
00:28:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:24
Speaker
But even thinking, Joe, to go even deeper into that metaphor you're talking about, is there's a degree of which the American dream has a roadmap of sorts.
00:28:32
Speaker
And Heather's had this map the entire time that she looks at that suggests if we go here, this is where we'll find the cemetery, and this is where we'll find the cabin, and this is where this is, and this is where we should be going, and here's where we're going to get all the shots, and here's our shot list, and this is what's supposed to happen.
00:28:49
Speaker
And then there's this moment of which it's like,
00:28:52
Speaker
it's like a door has shut behind them.
00:28:55
Speaker
And like in the Adam Wingard, it quite literally is like, they bring GPS trackers and they have all this technology and it literally is like,
00:29:02
Speaker
We're off the map, dude.
00:29:04
Speaker
What the fuck?
00:29:05
Speaker
And there's something really beautiful about the fact that it's like, I don't know.
00:29:09
Speaker
It says that we should be here, and we aren't.
00:29:13
Speaker
And I don't know how or why, and it's inexplicable.
00:29:16
Speaker
But the map has lied.
00:29:18
Speaker
The door is closed.
00:29:21
Speaker
We are in hell.
00:29:23
Speaker
And capitalism is hell.
00:29:25
Speaker
And life is hell.
00:29:26
Speaker
We are going to
Humor and Horror References
00:29:29
Speaker
die.
00:29:31
Speaker
I have not seen the Adam Wingard one, but I find it odd attributing explanations to witchcraft shit.
00:29:42
Speaker
Like trying to figure out what the trick is other than there being a witch that has spells.
00:29:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:52
Speaker
Well, I think I've been reading King Salem's Lot.
00:29:57
Speaker
I'm sorry.
00:29:58
Speaker
A witch that has spells just got me.
00:30:00
Speaker
That is funny.
00:30:02
Speaker
Like she's got her hot keys set up.
00:30:03
Speaker
They fucking do be having spells, Red.
00:30:05
Speaker
They do be having spells.
00:30:06
Speaker
They do be having spells.
00:30:07
Speaker
And concoctions.
00:30:09
Speaker
Bitches be shopping and witches got spells.
00:30:11
Speaker
We all know this.
00:30:12
Speaker
Boiled, toil, and bubble?
00:30:13
Speaker
That's a fucking bar.
00:30:15
Speaker
It is a bar.
00:30:17
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:30:19
Speaker
Shakespeare.
00:30:20
Speaker
As I've been saying, I've been reading Salem's Lot about halfway through.
00:30:23
Speaker
It's so good.
00:30:24
Speaker
I really love it.
00:30:25
Speaker
But there is a character, the book's about vampires, spoiler alert, but there's a character who keeps kind of like talking about what vampires are
00:30:35
Speaker
like what vampires are supposed to do.
00:30:37
Speaker
You know, it's like in Bram Stoker, like the vampire, like you have to invite him in and he keeps it.
00:30:43
Speaker
And everybody's like, dude, stop it.
00:30:46
Speaker
And that's how I feel about witchcraft movies where I'm just like, chill out.
00:30:50
Speaker
Like they're just doing some shit out there.
00:30:52
Speaker
Like whatever.
00:30:54
Speaker
I watched The Empty Man yesterday and there's a very particular moment in that movie where it's like, why did you fucking do that, dude?
00:31:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:02
Speaker
It's like go blowing on the bottle, which is such a horror trope, but it does stand out in some movies.
00:31:08
Speaker
It's hard to it's hard to say what you would do in a scenario.
00:31:11
Speaker
But like, I don't know if I found a thing that like blows, I'd be like, I don't know.
00:31:15
Speaker
Maybe I'll try.
00:31:15
Speaker
What is that?
00:31:16
Speaker
What's going to happen?
00:31:17
Speaker
I cannot fathom a world in which an eldritch demon comes out of this.
00:31:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:21
Speaker
And I guess it's like as I'm drinking up a tall, you know, a long neck Budweiser, I do be blowing in it as it goes down.
00:31:28
Speaker
You never know when you're going to trip a devil wire or something and all of a sudden you got a big, horny guy chasing you and he wants to kill you.
00:31:40
Speaker
To quote another movie I just watched, Drag Me to Hell, you never know when an old gypsy woman is going to sit in front of you and curse you.
00:31:45
Speaker
You just don't.
00:31:46
Speaker
Sometimes you're having a bad day.
00:32:16
Speaker
Yeah, I'd probably blow into a weird Eldritch demon whistle.
00:32:20
Speaker
For sure.
00:32:20
Speaker
I thought you were going to say you'd blow Tony Hinchcliffe.
00:32:23
Speaker
Oh, God, no.
00:32:25
Speaker
That guy's got to see this for sure.
00:32:26
Speaker
The other night, which, by the way, rips.
00:32:29
Speaker
I don't need to watch it.
00:32:32
Speaker
Shout out to them doing a sequel.
00:32:35
Speaker
Oh, they're doing a Ready or Not sequel?
00:32:36
Speaker
Yeah, 2025.
00:32:37
Speaker
Okay, I'm in.
00:32:39
Speaker
Is it called Not Already?
00:32:41
Speaker
No, it's called He Like, Come, You Dumb Bitch.
00:32:45
Speaker
I hope so.
00:32:46
Speaker
That would be fantastic.
00:32:47
Speaker
I have no idea.
00:32:48
Speaker
Yeah, it's going to be one of those like, now you see me, now you don't things.
00:32:52
Speaker
Yeah, they just called it Now You See Me
Ghostwatch and Media Realism
00:32:55
Speaker
2.
00:32:55
Speaker
It was so fucking stupid.
00:32:57
Speaker
And then the third one should have been Now You 3 Me.
00:33:00
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:33:02
Speaker
It's like the fucking Bad Boys for Life is the third film of the trilogy.
00:33:06
Speaker
Yeah, they really bungled that.
00:33:08
Speaker
They really bungled that.
00:33:09
Speaker
Bad Boys for Life.
00:33:12
Speaker
Yeah, they really bungled that.
00:33:14
Speaker
Sorry, Joe.
00:33:14
Speaker
No, it's okay.
00:33:15
Speaker
When Maddie and I were watching Ready or Not, at one point, she was like...
00:33:20
Speaker
why is she doing that?
00:33:21
Speaker
That's obviously the devil.
00:33:22
Speaker
And I was like, okay, yeah, you and I know that, but can you imagine being in a situation and then thinking like, you don't have the brain power or the knowledge in a situation to go, this is probably the devil.
00:33:38
Speaker
Not just a situation, a situation with the love of your life right after you got married.
00:33:44
Speaker
Yeah, and it's the same thing with Blair Witch.
00:33:46
Speaker
Like,
00:33:47
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, they literally cannot fathom a world in which this would have happened to them.
00:33:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:52
Speaker
And so like, you can't know what you would do in a situation like this.
00:33:55
Speaker
You can't know what's the naturalistic choices because I will push back on it in the context of Blair Witch, because I think they definitely think there's a little bit of a chance this shit's real before they even leave the town.
00:34:09
Speaker
Yeah, but what I mean by that is that they thought they might see something weirder.
00:34:14
Speaker
The idea that it could be an actual demon out there.
00:34:19
Speaker
It was like a cryptozoology hunt, not a suicide march.
00:34:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:24
Speaker
I don't know.
Personal Horror Experiences
00:34:26
Speaker
That's just really scary.
00:34:28
Speaker
Yeah, for sure.
00:34:29
Speaker
It's spooky.
00:34:31
Speaker
It's very spooky.
00:34:37
Speaker
Little lemon twist.
00:34:38
Speaker
What would Zizek say about how spooky it is?
00:34:43
Speaker
Don't make me do Zizek.
00:34:45
Speaker
I can't do it.
00:34:47
Speaker
There's a lot of them that I can do.
00:34:49
Speaker
I can't do it.
00:34:49
Speaker
It feels offensive.
00:34:51
Speaker
I love that we've really got to the point where it's like, I've heard all four of us do impressions before, but it's like Joe does like nine different impressions of the show and then Zach Austin and I just do Trump.
00:35:04
Speaker
Yeah, pretty much.
00:35:05
Speaker
Well, here's the thing.
00:35:06
Speaker
Here's the key to doing a lot of impressions is you don't have to be accurate when you do them.
00:35:10
Speaker
You just have to sort of be in the area.
00:35:12
Speaker
We should start an impression corner.
00:35:16
Speaker
Your Jerry is fantastic.
00:35:18
Speaker
I don't think it is.
00:35:19
Speaker
I don't think it is.
00:35:20
Speaker
I think it's good for what it is.
00:35:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:25
Speaker
I need to work on my Clint impression before juror number two comes out.
00:35:29
Speaker
I was watching a Clint Eastwood movie last night and I was like, I was trying to get it and I don't have it yet.
00:35:34
Speaker
So I don't want to debut it, but I'm working on it just so everybody knows.
00:35:37
Speaker
Okay.
00:35:38
Speaker
You got to do that.
00:35:39
Speaker
Like, have you seen Jim Carrey do a Clint?
00:35:41
Speaker
He gets the face though.
00:35:44
Speaker
He can do the Andy Kaufman thing where it's like, there's something about his, his whole aura changes.
00:35:50
Speaker
Ross Marquand does that too, though.
00:35:52
Speaker
When Ross Marquand does impressions, he takes on the face.
00:35:55
Speaker
And I'm like, God damn.
00:35:56
Speaker
Have you guys ever seen on TikTok the guys that kind of look like Leonardo DiCaprio?
00:36:02
Speaker
And he's hanging out with someone who kind of looks like Margot Robbie.
00:36:07
Speaker
Those videos make me viscerally uncomfortable.
00:36:10
Speaker
I just can't...
00:36:13
Speaker
It's in County Valley, but it also feels like someone's going to get murdered when I'm watching this.
00:36:16
Speaker
This feels like the setup to a crime that I'm going to witness on Twitter.
00:36:20
Speaker
You think it's like you're about to watch a snuff film?
00:36:22
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:22
Speaker
There's just something to me that is very snuff filmy about seeing someone that looks oddly like a celebrity.
00:36:30
Speaker
It just fills me with a really weird dread.
00:36:33
Speaker
It is very strange.
00:36:35
Speaker
Oh, I'm sorry.
00:36:36
Speaker
You want to hear my Fogman impression?
00:36:39
Speaker
I haven't seen it, so sure.
00:36:40
Speaker
No, I'm going to give you words.
00:36:44
Speaker
That actually got me excited.
00:36:46
Speaker
This is my frog, man.
00:36:47
Speaker
Ready?
00:36:47
Speaker
Ready?
00:36:47
Speaker
If you kiss me, might be a prince.
00:36:50
Speaker
Prince in here.
00:36:51
Speaker
Maybe give me a kiss.
00:36:52
Speaker
Maybe I'll be a prince.
00:36:53
Speaker
Maybe a prince.
00:36:54
Speaker
It could be a prince.
00:36:56
Speaker
Prince give me that to money.
00:36:58
Speaker
If a woman would kiss me, I would be the prettiest prince.
00:37:02
Speaker
Everyone's saying Trump is going to be the prettiest prince when he gets kissed.
00:37:07
Speaker
Frog Trump?
00:37:08
Speaker
Pretty cool.
00:37:12
Speaker
Really?
00:37:13
Speaker
Really?
00:37:15
Speaker
Immigrant flies.
00:37:16
Speaker
I just want to say this right now before we move on.
00:37:23
Speaker
Talking about a guy who looks similar, like oddly similar to a celebrity, there's a pub regular and we have to keep this in the podcast.
00:37:30
Speaker
There's a pub regular who looks like what if Jemaine Clement grew up in like South Florida?
00:37:37
Speaker
Oh, I know exactly who you're talking about.
00:37:40
Speaker
Interesting.
00:37:41
Speaker
Like, it's real weird.
00:37:43
Speaker
Because then he talks and you're like, no.
00:37:47
Speaker
That's not how you should sound.
00:37:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:49
Speaker
Speaking of Jermaine Clement and also found footage, what we do in the shadows?
00:37:55
Speaker
Sure.
00:37:56
Speaker
That's interesting.
00:37:57
Speaker
That's technically, if you watch it, that's technically found footage.
00:38:00
Speaker
It's not a mockumentary in a traditional sense.
00:38:02
Speaker
They found that footage that says... Again, they can't lie.
00:38:06
Speaker
They can't lie.
00:38:07
Speaker
I think the title of ITT's never done.
00:38:09
Speaker
Fargo really happened.
00:38:11
Speaker
Yeah,
Found Footage Recommendations
00:38:12
Speaker
Fargo really did happen.
00:38:14
Speaker
I truly do think that Taika peaked at what we do in the shadows.
00:38:17
Speaker
I don't think he made another good movie after that.
00:38:20
Speaker
Was that after Home for the Wilder People?
00:38:22
Speaker
It's not.
00:38:23
Speaker
Wilder People's just as good.
00:38:25
Speaker
Oh, I'm getting my dates mixed up.
00:38:28
Speaker
Will the People is great.
00:38:29
Speaker
Will the People is great, but there's so many bits in what we do in the shadows that I just think about.
00:38:35
Speaker
The first time I watched it, I had to pause the movie so that I wouldn't miss a joke because I was laughing so hard.
00:38:40
Speaker
And it's specifically the bit where Taika brings up a girl to eat, presumably, and they're just sitting and he's having a nice conversation with her.
00:38:47
Speaker
He's laying out a newspaper all over.
00:38:49
Speaker
And she's like, what are you doing with that newspaper?
00:38:52
Speaker
And he goes, shh.
00:38:53
Speaker
it's okay.
00:38:54
Speaker
It's okay.
00:38:56
Speaker
And then he comes up next to her and she's like, yeah, so I just got accepted into college.
00:39:02
Speaker
And he's like, oh.
00:39:03
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going to be an architect.
00:39:07
Speaker
I want to travel.
00:39:08
Speaker
And he goes, oh.
00:39:12
Speaker
and then he bites her neck and hits her like main artery and it starts blasting out of her arm and he goes oh fuck fuck and he's just like she's slowly dying trying to keep the blood from spraying everywhere it's such a fantastic visual gag now I want to work on a Matt Berry impression
00:39:29
Speaker
Oh, that's a good call.
00:39:30
Speaker
The most devious bastard in New York.
00:39:35
Speaker
I might need to do a Garth Marenghi rewatch soon.
00:39:39
Speaker
I haven't watched it in a few years.
00:39:42
Speaker
His performance in the IT crowd is also just other.
00:39:46
Speaker
I've never watched IT crowd.
00:39:50
Speaker
I know I would love it.
00:39:51
Speaker
I know I would love it.
00:39:52
Speaker
I know his dude's fucking blows, apparently.
00:39:55
Speaker
Yeah, I want to...
00:40:07
Speaker
Oh, is he really?
00:40:08
Speaker
I just... Well, I might be getting it wrong, but definitely he said something weird and religious fundamentalist.
00:40:15
Speaker
Oh, that's strange.
00:40:18
Speaker
The other guy that's not him... Chris O'Dowd?
00:40:21
Speaker
I don't know their names, honestly.
00:40:23
Speaker
But that's surprising.
00:40:25
Speaker
I didn't think Iowari would be like that.
00:40:29
Speaker
But I was just telling someone about the IT crowd bit where they have an app that translates for them how to talk about the soccer.
00:40:38
Speaker
And he's like, okay, how do I talk to this guy?
00:40:39
Speaker
And he goes, the thing about Arsenal is they always try to walk it in.
00:40:44
Speaker
And he's like, okay.
00:40:45
Speaker
And then it like helps him pronounce it.
00:40:47
Speaker
And he goes over to talk to them and they're like, and then they have a whole conversation.
00:40:51
Speaker
He keeps having to check what to say next.
00:40:52
Speaker
Like he makes it listen to them and like great bit.
00:40:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:56
Speaker
The thing about Arsenal is that they're all fucking wankers is the truth.
00:41:00
Speaker
Fuck Arsenal.
00:41:01
Speaker
So true.
00:41:02
Speaker
I know about these teams.
00:41:04
Speaker
It's true.
00:41:05
Speaker
I know about these teams.
00:41:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:07
Speaker
The North London boys.
00:41:10
Speaker
We talked about other found footage movies before we go off on sitcom diatribes for like 30 minutes.
00:41:15
Speaker
But we talked about and, you know, like thinking of mockumentaries as mockumentaries are often in reference to found footage.
00:41:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:24
Speaker
I think one of the stranger things that happens is that found footage is a genre of horror that people...
00:41:31
Speaker
love to try to create parody of or create comedy out of it's so recognizable like it Blair Witch is I think Blair Witch is just really iconic like I don't think I realized how iconic Blair Witch was but I think it kind of like it like fundamentally changed like the American like visual language DNA yeah for sure yeah I think that's a fair assessment and definitely feels that way yeah and then produced some like
00:42:00
Speaker
Some odd offshoots, you know, thinking about Zach and I have made reference to Frogman.
00:42:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:08
Speaker
Frogman is a movie that like is very clearly trying to be like, yeah, but what if Blair Witch was like funny?
00:42:15
Speaker
There's one moment.
00:42:17
Speaker
Yeah, they didn't lean far enough into the humor at all.
00:42:20
Speaker
Like, it tries to get pretty serious in the second half.
00:42:24
Speaker
But at the moment when I thought they were going full parody, I was, like, fucking buckled up, ready to go.
00:42:30
Speaker
There's a moment where they show a fake YouTube commentary about the – because this happens in the very beginning of the movie.
00:42:38
Speaker
But basically this guy, he –
00:42:43
Speaker
He sees Frogman when he's like 10 years old and he's like messing around with his dad's camcorder.
00:42:49
Speaker
And like you zoom forward like 20 years later and nobody believes him.
00:42:52
Speaker
They're like, yeah, that's a little kid that lied about the Frogman.
00:42:56
Speaker
Uber's making a video about how this little kid's full of shit.
00:43:00
Speaker
And then it flips the camera around to the dude who's now grown.
00:43:03
Speaker
And that's how you get revealed him being grown.
00:43:05
Speaker
He goes, oh, that's if you saw the frog, man, you'd be pissing and sitting yourself and crying.
00:43:12
Speaker
That sounds good.
00:43:14
Speaker
That's a really funny line.
00:43:16
Speaker
The phrase frog man fucks is uttered like four times in this film.
00:43:23
Speaker
Amazing.
00:43:23
Speaker
That's how frog man fucks.
00:43:26
Speaker
No, no, no, no.
00:43:27
Speaker
Like, no, dude, frog man fucks.
00:43:30
Speaker
It's not like Frogman's cool.
00:43:32
Speaker
They're talking about Frogman fucking for real.
00:43:35
Speaker
Oh, he'd be out there laying tight.
00:43:36
Speaker
Damn.
00:43:37
Speaker
That's crazy.
00:43:39
Speaker
Does Frogman have a hog?
00:43:45
Speaker
Do we see it?
00:43:46
Speaker
I don't think you see Frog Hog, if I remember.
00:43:49
Speaker
Fucking cowards, if you're going to mention it.
00:43:51
Speaker
Yeah, if you're going to talk about him having sex, give him a Milton Berle hanger.
00:43:55
Speaker
It is a rated R film.
00:43:57
Speaker
Show Frog Hog.
00:43:58
Speaker
Yeah, come on.
00:44:00
Speaker
Actually, I think you could probably get away with Frog Hog in a PG-13 because it's a frog dick.
00:44:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:06
Speaker
Yeah, I agree.
00:44:08
Speaker
But that's like Red's response.
00:44:10
Speaker
He's a frog man, though.
00:44:11
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:44:13
Speaker
Would you be more inclined if you wanted to see the frog... The frog... I don't... Damn it, I was trying to come up with a joke.
00:44:23
Speaker
The frog vag is what I'm going to say.
00:44:25
Speaker
Just say frog clip.
00:44:25
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:44:26
Speaker
Yeah, there you go.
00:44:28
Speaker
There you go.
00:44:29
Speaker
Okay, here's a question.
00:44:30
Speaker
Would the frog woman have boobies?
00:44:33
Speaker
Probably so.
00:44:34
Speaker
Many people are saying... This is my character that's talking about this movie.
00:44:38
Speaker
Ready?
00:44:38
Speaker
Ready?
00:44:40
Speaker
Do you think that if there's a weighty frogman, do you think that she's going to have boobies?
00:44:46
Speaker
Wait, he got a little like frog at the end.
00:44:53
Speaker
Wait, I've got the same character.
00:44:55
Speaker
I got the same character, but Red's really going to like this.
00:44:59
Speaker
What do you think if we flew a flog with a poyshoot off of the side of the highway?
00:45:07
Speaker
I got to watch this movie.
00:45:09
Speaker
We should do a Blair Witch remake, but it's just three kids with speech impediments.
00:45:16
Speaker
It's that kid from Recess Therapy who just has like the cutest little voice.
00:45:23
Speaker
He's just out in the woods getting scared.
00:45:27
Speaker
It's all my fault.
00:45:29
Speaker
I miss my best friend, Jack B. Skinner-Marink is a found footage movie about kids, it feels like almost.
00:45:36
Speaker
The scariest part of the movie would be when he'd be like, they said we have nap time five minutes ago.
00:45:44
Speaker
It's really hard to get washed in America these days.
00:45:50
Speaker
What do you mean you watch the fucking map?
00:45:55
Speaker
Does anybody have any cigarettes?
00:45:59
Speaker
Sometimes I smoke so many cigarettes.
00:46:03
Speaker
When I smoke cigarettes, I smoke them.
00:46:04
Speaker
We get a time.
00:46:05
Speaker
What do we do?
00:46:07
Speaker
It's actually Joe Camel.
00:46:09
Speaker
I smoke so many more cigarettes than you.
00:46:12
Speaker
I smoke the most cigarettes out of any one of us.
00:46:15
Speaker
It is funny because this is literally how my six-year-old nephew talks.
00:46:20
Speaker
And I love him so much.
00:46:21
Speaker
And the only way he gets away with it is that he's way smarter than anybody else.
00:46:25
Speaker
Any other kid around him.
00:46:26
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:46:28
Speaker
So he's just like the cutest little guy with this sweet little speech impediment.
00:46:30
Speaker
And then he'll just like roast your ass.
00:46:32
Speaker
So apparently in this forest, there was like a bunch of guys that got like murdered.
00:46:39
Speaker
And people really think it's the Blair Witch.
00:46:42
Speaker
It was actually Jake Paul.
00:46:44
Speaker
It was actually Phantom Tax.
00:46:47
Speaker
It was Dude Perfect.
00:46:48
Speaker
Dude Perfect brought her doing a video.
00:46:50
Speaker
Yeah, Dude Perfect did a video, but then they died.
00:46:53
Speaker
Dude Perfect threw a basketball at the Blair Witch, but it didn't help.
00:46:58
Speaker
The dual perfect guys, they threw a frisbee.
00:46:59
Speaker
I bounced off like 25,000 tweets and hit the Blair Witch in the back of the head, but it didn't hurt her because she was ethereal.
00:47:11
Speaker
Jason went to space and dropped a basketball.
00:47:16
Speaker
Did you?
00:47:18
Speaker
There was one time that this guy from, he was a Red Bull parachute guy and he like jumped off out of the space and he fell way down before he pulled a parachute, but it was like the furthest anyone had ever done a base jump.
00:47:34
Speaker
What are we fucking talking about?
00:47:36
Speaker
Oh no!
00:47:38
Speaker
Oh no!
00:47:40
Speaker
So another good found footage movie is... Is Weck.
00:47:45
Speaker
Is Weck.
00:47:46
Speaker
They speak Spanish in that one.
00:47:51
Speaker
So I had to turn on the subtitles, but I'm not so good at reading.
00:47:54
Speaker
But Joe, if you're going to do it, you've got to switch accents because you've got to go to Barfalona.
00:48:04
Speaker
There is a Japanese woman in this movie with a perfect Barcelona accent.
00:48:07
Speaker
Have you guys seen the TikToks of the black dude that lives in China?
00:48:16
Speaker
He's just speaking perfect Mandarin to his neighbors and cooking them meals.
00:48:20
Speaker
I watched those every day for a while.
00:48:22
Speaker
They were so relaxing.
00:48:25
Speaker
That's good found footage.
00:48:28
Speaker
So thinking about...
00:48:30
Speaker
And that's all real and true.
00:48:31
Speaker
That's all real and true.
00:48:33
Speaker
Another very real and very true movie is the 2007 Spanish film Wreck, which if you guys haven't seen, is on Tubi.
00:48:41
Speaker
And fucking.
00:48:42
Speaker
Yeah, that's where I watch it.
00:48:45
Speaker
I've heard good things.
00:48:47
Speaker
Yeah, it's had a couple of sequels.
00:48:49
Speaker
The sequels are OK.
00:48:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:48:51
Speaker
I haven't watched it.
00:48:52
Speaker
Also, they made an American version called Quarantine.
00:48:57
Speaker
I yeah, I thought so.
00:48:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:48:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:49:00
Speaker
I remember seeing commercials for that being very... Who's in that joint?
00:49:04
Speaker
Oh, nice.
00:49:05
Speaker
Jennifer Carpenter.
00:49:07
Speaker
She's great in the Zoller movies.
00:49:10
Speaker
She really is.
00:49:12
Speaker
She's so good.
00:49:13
Speaker
Maren Hinkle's in this movie?
00:49:15
Speaker
Elaine Cain?
00:49:16
Speaker
Joey Cain?
00:49:17
Speaker
The weirdest thing about Jennifer Carpenter is while they were making Dexter, she married Michael C. Hall.
00:49:23
Speaker
Like she married her brother on the show.
00:49:25
Speaker
I think they got divorced because now she's married to Seth Avett of the Avett brothers.
00:49:30
Speaker
Every time I think of Jennifer Carpenter, I think of her bit in White Chicks.
00:49:38
Speaker
Oh yeah.
00:49:38
Speaker
I haven't seen that in 10 years.
00:49:41
Speaker
She just screams, look at me, I'm Cellulite Sally.
00:49:48
Speaker
I think about that line very often.
00:49:50
Speaker
That's really good.
00:49:52
Speaker
I don't know.
00:49:53
Speaker
I love The Wayans.
00:49:54
Speaker
I don't know if that movie is worth a revisit at this point.
00:49:56
Speaker
Why Tix holds up, I think.
00:49:57
Speaker
Does it?
00:49:58
Speaker
It might.
00:49:59
Speaker
There's too many times when I was 13.
00:50:00
Speaker
Why Tix holds up?
00:50:01
Speaker
Okay.
00:50:04
Speaker
He said it holds up.
00:50:05
Speaker
He's agreeing with you.
00:50:06
Speaker
Okay, I watched it like two months ago and I was like, yeah, this is still good.
00:50:10
Speaker
Okay, that's good to know.
00:50:12
Speaker
One of the found... Oh, no, you guys talk about Wreck first and then I'll bring him.
00:50:16
Speaker
So, Wreck is kind of an interesting compendium to found footage and I think really starts what found footage becomes for the following end of 15 years because it's the essentially...
00:50:33
Speaker
looking at live documentary crew or like,
00:50:38
Speaker
ghost hunting shows.
00:50:39
Speaker
Like I talked about Grave Encounters earlier.
00:50:43
Speaker
Grave Encounters is essentially a setup of like, these are people who are running like a ghost hunting show and they're gonna go see it.
00:50:48
Speaker
And the way that it works, and I think it's one of the most effective parts of this movie is that Wreck literally has Manuela Velasco, who is an actual Spanish television presenter, who in the film is playing a TV presenter who's gonna like spend a night with the Barcelona fire department
00:51:09
Speaker
And they get a she hosts this like specialty show called like while you were asleep or something.
00:51:14
Speaker
Yeah, it's literally like here.
00:51:15
Speaker
Here's what happens while you are sleeping at night in the city.
00:51:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:51:20
Speaker
And so they go to an apartment building.
00:51:22
Speaker
There's a call in an apartment building and very a woman has been screaming.
00:51:26
Speaker
Yes.
00:51:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:51:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:51:27
Speaker
And won't come out.
00:51:28
Speaker
They can't get her out of her apartment.
00:51:30
Speaker
And very quickly, shit goes awry.
00:51:32
Speaker
And the building is almost immediately quarantined.
00:51:37
Speaker
And it looks like it's going to basically be a zombie flick.
00:51:41
Speaker
And it turns into a really fucking... It's mean.
00:51:46
Speaker
It's very mean.
00:51:48
Speaker
And I think amongst this little foursome and amongst horror dorks is...
00:51:55
Speaker
when you describe a horror movie as being mean, it's actually perhaps the highest compliment you can give a horror movie.
00:52:02
Speaker
For sure.
00:52:04
Speaker
And it's... There's a particular scene pretty early on, and it's the moment of which it... This movie's an hour and 18 minutes.
00:52:10
Speaker
I mean, it is... It moves.
00:52:12
Speaker
It's so great.
00:52:14
Speaker
It's fantastic.
00:52:14
Speaker
That's what I'm talking about.
00:52:15
Speaker
You can fly through it.
00:52:18
Speaker
At an hour and 18 minutes, I mean, like...
00:52:21
Speaker
At about minute 20, 25, there's a scene with a little girl and her mom, and it's probably more like minute 35.
00:52:28
Speaker
Oh, my gosh, dude.
00:52:30
Speaker
It just shifts into maximum overdrive.
00:52:33
Speaker
And the same way we talked about The Exorcist 3, where there hits a point of which it's like we have gone from, okay, okay.
00:52:41
Speaker
shit's a little awry i don't really know what's happening and then all of a sudden you're like oh fuck here we go is that's this moment with a little girl and her mom at that moment in the when i was watching the movie i'm pretty sure i went oh jesus christ like i literally it was like i can't do this part like this is too much
00:52:59
Speaker
But it's so good.
00:53:01
Speaker
I think horror movies and action movies both follow this criteria for me is that they need to have at least one scene that makes me groan or laugh.
00:53:10
Speaker
Like some scenes in horror movies that have just gotten me, I just like, you have to laugh afterwards because it's just like so cool when it's like that mean to you.
00:53:19
Speaker
Or like in an action movie when there's a particularly good like bone break or something and you're just like...
00:53:25
Speaker
like an ambulance when uh michael bay just puts a drone uh like a gopron top of a drone like flies straight in a skyscraper flies up the skyscraper twirls around and then takes you right back down to the ground yeah that shot was straight rocket fuel it's the sickest thing i've ever seen in a movie i was by myself in a fucking amc in waco the worst theater in the world and i literally went oh shit
00:53:50
Speaker
I was so happy.
00:53:52
Speaker
I told everybody I could to go see that movie and then nobody did and I'm still mad at them.
00:53:55
Speaker
They all have to have a good fuck yeah moment.
00:53:59
Speaker
Like in Dream Child where homie has a wet dream and gets trapped in his water bed.
00:54:05
Speaker
Yeah, dude.
00:54:06
Speaker
That shot, when they pull the fucking sheet back and he's right there.
00:54:11
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:54:12
Speaker
It's so good.
00:54:13
Speaker
It's so good.
00:54:14
Speaker
Yeah, I would highly, highly, highly recommend Wreck.
00:54:19
Speaker
Recommend Wreck.
00:54:20
Speaker
I think my... As I said, I really liked the movie.
00:54:24
Speaker
I do think, out of necessity, it has very archetypal characters.
00:54:31
Speaker
Like, it's like, okay, the foreign family, the older people who don't like the foreigners.
00:54:36
Speaker
And it's like, it falls into those tropes a little bit.
00:54:39
Speaker
But again, I think like,
00:54:40
Speaker
the scares are so fucking good that you're like okay I understand the plotiness and then the thing that kind of mitigated that for me was the ending which I did not see coming and found so scary like so goddamn scary and it's not like it's a little bit set up in the movie sure but like you get there and it first of all you think something really bad gonna happen and then that thing doesn't happen and then another worse thing happens and
00:55:09
Speaker
You're just like, what the fuck?
00:55:10
Speaker
This is so fucked up.
00:55:11
Speaker
Like they really, they, I felt in the hand, in safe hands the whole time.
00:55:16
Speaker
Like I was like, okay, these guys know what they're doing.
00:55:20
Speaker
This is genuinely scary.
00:55:21
Speaker
And it does have a few of those moments where you're like, yeah, dude, like this looks really fucking scary.
00:55:27
Speaker
And I don't know how I would react to this.
00:55:29
Speaker
So I would, I would recommend it too.
00:55:31
Speaker
I think there's a great moment.
00:55:33
Speaker
And even talk about the exorcist three again.
00:55:35
Speaker
is when Joe talked about the jump scare in The Exorcist 3, we talked about fake-out jump scares.
00:55:41
Speaker
We talked about how, like,
00:55:43
Speaker
The buildup of time.
00:55:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:45
Speaker
A lesser filmmaker would fake out jump scare and then immediate jump scare.
00:55:49
Speaker
But there's like a pause is wrecked as something similar, like twice where you're like, Oh fuck.
00:55:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:57
Speaker
There's also so good.
00:55:59
Speaker
Any, any time.
00:56:01
Speaker
And frog man does this to its detriment and not in a cool way.
00:56:05
Speaker
But anytime you get to use a night vision in a found footage horror movie, you're,
00:56:11
Speaker
that to me is the moment of which I'm like, all right, that's the, uh, that's the walking into a nightclub for an action movie version of this for you.
00:56:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:20
Speaker
When they turn on the night vision, you're like, Oh shit.
00:56:23
Speaker
Gotta sit up in my chair.
00:56:24
Speaker
I'm locked in.
00:56:25
Speaker
It's like the beginning of Miami vice.
00:56:27
Speaker
I just wish you know, on court played in this.
00:56:29
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:56:30
Speaker
The best.
00:56:31
Speaker
Of course you'd be in every movie.
00:56:33
Speaker
Sophie's choice.
00:56:34
Speaker
Secondhand lions.
00:56:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:39
Speaker
manchester by the sea you can't tell me that lucas hedges wouldn't have listened to nom encore he's cool master commander on golden pond dr dr daisy grumpy old men the pegging of tele what the taking of telemonto through the original
00:57:05
Speaker
And the remake.
00:57:11
Speaker
Oh, that was a fun diatribe.
00:57:13
Speaker
What's next?
00:57:13
Speaker
We're just doing bits today.
00:57:15
Speaker
I love it.
00:57:15
Speaker
We're just doing bits.
00:57:17
Speaker
One of the undersung found footage movies that I want to shout out to y'all real quick.
00:57:22
Speaker
Please.
00:57:23
Speaker
A little bit of a film called Be My Cat, a film for Anne.
00:57:30
Speaker
Let me read you guys the plot description to this movie because it's kind of wild.
00:57:34
Speaker
It's kind of wild, crazy, fucked up.
00:57:36
Speaker
It's a little crazy.
00:57:37
Speaker
This movie is kind of crazy because what are we... The long line for this movie is an aspiring filmmaker goes to shocking extremes to convince Hollywood actress Anne Hathaway to star in this film.
00:57:53
Speaker
So basically it's video diaries of this guy...
00:57:58
Speaker
talking to anne hathaway because he saw her in the dark knight rises and thought she was a great actress joe you weren't you were supposed to keep this to yourself i sent this to you in confidence it's the dark knight rises yeah we've all practiced what we would say to anne hathaway in the mirror but we've all done smoking hot rises just not basically he's like talking to himself in his camera of like saying this is the process of how i'm going to make the film he
00:58:24
Speaker
He's Eastern European.
00:58:25
Speaker
This is the process.
00:58:26
Speaker
So it sounds like, this is the process.
00:58:30
Speaker
That's him for the whole movie.
00:58:31
Speaker
He's like, speak.
00:58:32
Speaker
Yeah, it really did go into Bjork there.
00:58:36
Speaker
But he's talking to the camera and he basically says, so...
00:58:39
Speaker
I can't have you in the movie now because you don't know who I am.
00:58:41
Speaker
But what I am going to do is I hired three actresses that look like you and I'm going to film portions of the movie.
00:58:48
Speaker
But what they don't know is I'm filming now to send this to you.
00:58:51
Speaker
This is there.
00:58:52
Speaker
They think they're going to be a real movie, but they're not going to be in a real movie.
00:58:54
Speaker
They're just going to be in the version of the movie I sent to you so we can actually make the real movie.
00:59:00
Speaker
And he's like this very complicated setup.
00:59:02
Speaker
Like he's just over explaining it.
00:59:03
Speaker
Like I'm going to have these women, but they think they think they're in a movie, but they're,
00:59:08
Speaker
Like he's like whispering to Anne Hathaway the whole movie.
00:59:11
Speaker
But basically he invites these three women and it's a horror movie.
00:59:15
Speaker
So I'm going to let I can I'm going to let you infer what happens after he gets three women to be in his horror film that they don't that they think is a movie, but apparently isn't.
00:59:25
Speaker
Sounds great I found this list after doing some Conor O'Malley research And by that I mean just watching his movies And going to Letterboxd And seeing the fucking Other things that they're put with On lists and stuff And I found this list called Cringe Horror And the subtitle was Conor O'Malley As Horror
00:59:54
Speaker
Like his essence as war.
00:59:55
Speaker
His essence, yeah.
00:59:57
Speaker
So basically all of the movies on this list are about these weirdo freak loner, like loser guys that are filming themselves because of how like every, the internet has sort of come to this place where everybody's filming themselves doing things all the time.
01:00:13
Speaker
So it's like, I feel like found footage today is uniquely prepared to tell the story of art.
01:00:18
Speaker
Like, like the horror of our generations.
01:00:20
Speaker
Like be my cat is one of them.
01:00:22
Speaker
It's terrifying, deeply disturbing.
01:00:24
Speaker
Also it's hilarious.
01:00:25
Speaker
Yeah.
01:00:26
Speaker
very funny Spree directed by this guy has a name that I really have a hard time pronouncing
01:00:34
Speaker
Is that the Joe Keir?
01:00:35
Speaker
His name is Joe Wallace.
01:00:38
Speaker
Is that so hard to pronounce?
01:00:39
Speaker
I'm just kidding.
01:00:40
Speaker
It's not his name.
01:00:41
Speaker
Is Rap World a found footage movie?
01:00:43
Speaker
We can talk about it.
01:00:44
Speaker
Am I the only one who hasn't watched Rap World yet?
01:00:50
Speaker
I have not watched Rap World, but before I give those guys the chance, I really do.
01:00:54
Speaker
No, this is your episode, Red.
01:00:56
Speaker
No, it's okay.
01:00:57
Speaker
I think we can start moving into different things, but
01:01:02
Speaker
I know Austin and I just talked about Wreck, but a movie that I... Has anybody else watched Ghostwatch or is it just Austin and I?
01:01:07
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
01:01:09
Speaker
Okay.
01:01:09
Speaker
Fantastic stuff.
01:01:11
Speaker
If you have Shudder, please, please, please, please.
01:01:14
Speaker
I need you to go and watch 1992's Ghostwatch.
01:01:20
Speaker
It is... The setup is, for the listener and... Zach and Joe, are you guys kind of familiar with what the setup is?
01:01:26
Speaker
Yeah, kind of.
01:01:27
Speaker
Okay.
01:01:28
Speaker
I am not.
01:01:29
Speaker
Essentially...
01:01:32
Speaker
a group of like, like Michael Parkinson, who is like, Parkey is an extremely famous BBC television host and was on the BBC for 30 plus years and was like, sure, fuck it.
01:01:45
Speaker
I'll be in this, be in this production.
01:01:48
Speaker
This production aired,
01:01:50
Speaker
at like 8 p.m.
01:01:52
Speaker
on BBC One on Halloween night and was presented as a documentary about a family in North London who had been experiencing a haunting and that they were gonna send in a team of, like this BBC team to go in and meet with this woman
01:02:17
Speaker
And they were going to like meet her children and see what was up and experience all of it.
01:02:22
Speaker
And it is being presented like you are watching a like a 60 minute, like an episode of 60 minutes.
01:02:29
Speaker
Yeah.
01:02:29
Speaker
Yeah, dude.
01:02:30
Speaker
Or like it's.
01:02:31
Speaker
Yeah.
01:02:32
Speaker
Yeah.
01:02:33
Speaker
And it's amazing.
01:02:34
Speaker
Like it's it feels like like it is spectacular.
01:02:39
Speaker
It lulls you into a sense of reality better than like any movie I can think of.
01:02:44
Speaker
And there's a really interesting thing, and Austin and I, I conveniently watched it on Friday and then immediately saw Austin.
01:02:52
Speaker
So I was able to just be like, holy fuck.
01:02:54
Speaker
Like, just have somebody who had seen it.
01:02:56
Speaker
But it's interesting because this is an hour and a half long film, and there isn't a real scare until about 52 minutes into the film.
01:03:08
Speaker
Yeah.
01:03:09
Speaker
But in the same way that like Joe complained about a film like The Wailing of taking too long to get to something or people complaining about horror movies is Ghostwatch to me earns every second that you have to wait.
01:03:26
Speaker
And you sent a text, I think when you were like 35 minutes in, you were like, this isn't really juicing for me yet.
01:03:31
Speaker
And I was like, I didn't say anything back.
01:03:33
Speaker
I was like...
01:03:35
Speaker
And the whole time too, tell me if this is, if I'm remembering correctly, Red, there's like a woman there who's like an expert on the, on this phenomenon, like on haunted houses and stuff.
01:03:46
Speaker
And she has a call in line where she's taking calls from people who have experienced hauntings.
01:03:52
Speaker
Am I remembering that right?
01:03:53
Speaker
And so she like, you know, an analog old like dial phone and she's just like taking calls from the audience and like listening and you can hear it all obviously.
01:04:02
Speaker
And like,
01:04:03
Speaker
To me, in that moment, I was like, this shit sounds really real.
01:04:07
Speaker
And again, it's the artifice that they've created.
01:04:10
Speaker
They're presenting it like it's the BBC, and so they have to have all this production.
01:04:14
Speaker
But I was like, that was the first time I was really spooked in my memory watching it.
01:04:19
Speaker
It was like,
01:04:21
Speaker
Oh, like that seems really fucked up and real.
01:04:25
Speaker
You like the Wynonna Ryder Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice character?
01:04:29
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:04:31
Speaker
She's got like a self-help thing.
01:04:32
Speaker
No, I don't know.
01:04:34
Speaker
But like, again...
01:04:36
Speaker
And it's like, it's similar to what Red was talking about with Wreck.
01:04:38
Speaker
Like they do that in Wreck.
01:04:39
Speaker
They cast an actual newscaster, like a journalist.
01:04:42
Speaker
And then the same thing.
01:04:44
Speaker
Oh gosh, Zach's lights are being freaky.
01:04:46
Speaker
That's not cool on a found footage episode.
01:04:49
Speaker
And that's about to turn into unfriended.
01:04:51
Speaker
Bad news.
01:04:53
Speaker
Oh, Jesus.
01:04:55
Speaker
Is my apartment haunted?
01:04:56
Speaker
The flames?
01:04:57
Speaker
The flickering?
01:04:58
Speaker
Hold on.
01:04:59
Speaker
Take some... Beer I found also works just as good as holy water, apparently.
01:05:06
Speaker
You can just dip your fingers in some beer and then just say, I rebuke you.
01:05:10
Speaker
Send them out.
01:05:10
Speaker
I did not invite you.
01:05:13
Speaker
I'm glad y'all saw that.
01:05:14
Speaker
Yeah, that was wild.
01:05:16
Speaker
I was locked in my own world.
01:05:17
Speaker
It took me a second.
01:05:19
Speaker
But yeah, like I was saying, the artifice created by using the BBC sets and everything is so fucking effective and I cannot believe it.
01:05:29
Speaker
I'm excited to watch it.
01:05:30
Speaker
It's genuinely scary.
01:05:33
Speaker
It really is.
01:05:34
Speaker
It's one of the scarier things I've watched this month.
01:05:37
Speaker
I would agree.
01:05:38
Speaker
I have the exact text.
01:05:42
Speaker
Ghostwatch P. Good 50 minutes in.
01:05:45
Speaker
Period.
01:05:46
Speaker
Not scary yet, but I think the execution and storytelling is next goddamn level.
01:05:50
Speaker
Senate 503.
01:05:52
Speaker
504.
01:05:52
Speaker
Literally two minutes later, shit started to get exciting.
01:05:55
Speaker
Ha ha ha.
01:05:57
Speaker
Yeah.
01:05:58
Speaker
Yeah.
01:06:01
Speaker
You were feeling the buildup in that moment, and you were like, well, I don't know, which is exactly where they want you.
01:06:06
Speaker
Which is exactly where they want you.
01:06:07
Speaker
It is perfect, and it's amazing to consider...
01:06:12
Speaker
what this product is.
01:06:14
Speaker
That this was placed on the BBC to be seen by all of Britain on Halloween night.
01:06:22
Speaker
Like families.
01:06:23
Speaker
Can you imagine families sitting around the TV being like, ooh, Halloween special on the BBC.
01:06:29
Speaker
I mean, you go and look.
01:06:31
Speaker
Orson Welles' The War of the Worlds.
01:06:33
Speaker
Yeah.
01:06:34
Speaker
Dude, literally, if you go and read some of the IMDb trivia, it is...
01:06:40
Speaker
According to like the British Institute of Public Health, it's the first recorded instance of children being given post-traumatic stress because of television.
01:06:52
Speaker
Oh, wow.
01:06:53
Speaker
That's crazy.
01:06:54
Speaker
Wow.
01:06:54
Speaker
In Britain.
01:06:55
Speaker
What was the first time y'all had that experience?
01:06:57
Speaker
When was your first?
01:06:58
Speaker
Skibbity toilet.
01:06:59
Speaker
Skibbity toilet.
01:07:00
Speaker
Great answer.
01:07:02
Speaker
You had that in your back pocket, ready to rock.
01:07:04
Speaker
I want you to know that it's literally just the first two words that came to my brain.
01:07:09
Speaker
That's how you know your wife teaches in an elementary school.
01:07:11
Speaker
Hey, Joe.
01:07:12
Speaker
What's up, brother?
01:07:14
Speaker
Hey, man, where's the love?
01:07:16
Speaker
Where's the love, baby?
01:07:17
Speaker
Where's the love for skibbity toilet?
01:07:19
Speaker
I'm sick of skibbity toilet.
01:07:22
Speaker
The internet's only skibbity toilet famous.
01:07:25
Speaker
I mean, the only time I remember being freaked out by the TV was watching horror movie commercials.
01:07:31
Speaker
I was a baby about that stuff.
01:07:35
Speaker
Commercials are usually kind of scarier to a kid than a whole movie because there's no kind of scary image.
01:07:40
Speaker
Yeah, it's just scares.
01:07:43
Speaker
It's crazy.
01:07:43
Speaker
I will say...
01:07:46
Speaker
I referenced earlier this film Grave Encounters, which is still the scariest movie I have ever seen.
01:07:56
Speaker
I watched it when I was 15.
01:07:58
Speaker
The movie came out in 2011.
01:08:01
Speaker
My buddies Colin and Mako are like, yo...
01:08:05
Speaker
Let's go hang out.
01:08:06
Speaker
It's 2012.
01:08:09
Speaker
So we're going to go skateboard and listen to odd future and smoke stolen cigarettes.
01:08:14
Speaker
And yeah, you know, great day.
01:08:16
Speaker
Find shit to break or spray paint.
01:08:19
Speaker
So we're like doing that.
01:08:21
Speaker
We go back to Colin's house.
01:08:22
Speaker
We're like playing call of duty or fucking whatever, eating pizza.
01:08:25
Speaker
And they're like, yo, let's watch a movie.
01:08:27
Speaker
And I was like, great.
01:08:29
Speaker
What do you guys want to watch?
01:08:30
Speaker
They're like, we should watch a scary movie.
01:08:31
Speaker
I'm like, ah,
01:08:32
Speaker
And you're like, what if we watched Andre Rublev?
01:08:38
Speaker
What if we watched... Have you guys seen Mean Streets yet?
01:08:45
Speaker
Oh my god.
01:08:47
Speaker
We could totally watch that instead of whatever scary movie you want to watch.
01:08:49
Speaker
What?
01:08:49
Speaker
Narcissist?
01:08:50
Speaker
Yeah.
01:08:52
Speaker
I feel like I'm slipping into like a kip from the 20th century.
01:08:55
Speaker
So prosaic.
01:08:56
Speaker
Maybe we watched something with a little bit more... Have you guys heard of Lars von Trier's Antichrist?
01:09:01
Speaker
Let's talk about T.R.A.S.
01:09:03
Speaker
Perhaps a more intellectual horror movie for the mind.
01:09:08
Speaker
So they're like, yo, let's watch a scary movie.
01:09:09
Speaker
And I'm like, I'm not a pussy.
01:09:11
Speaker
Yeah, dude.
01:09:12
Speaker
I can totally watch a scary movie.
01:09:13
Speaker
Yeah, dude.
01:09:14
Speaker
I got one hair on my chest.
01:09:15
Speaker
Come on.
01:09:15
Speaker
Fuck yeah, dude.
01:09:16
Speaker
Let's do it.
01:09:17
Speaker
I got three pubes.
01:09:18
Speaker
I can totally drink more beers than you.
01:09:19
Speaker
Awesome.
01:09:23
Speaker
I'm not going to talk about my pubes in this podcast.
01:09:26
Speaker
At least not yet.
01:09:27
Speaker
You just did.
01:09:29
Speaker
We're going to get to episode 52.
01:09:30
Speaker
Also, speaking of which, Paddington Gone Wild, episode 30.
01:09:33
Speaker
Oh, that is crazy.
01:09:35
Speaker
Episode 30 today.
01:09:38
Speaker
Which is fucking insane.
01:09:39
Speaker
Joe looks like he just got driller killed in sleepaway camp.
01:09:45
Speaker
So we watch this flick and they're both like, yeah, pretty good.
01:09:50
Speaker
Like the entire time I am wordless.
01:09:53
Speaker
You're shaking.
01:09:54
Speaker
I'm genuinely shaking.
01:09:56
Speaker
Yeah.
01:09:57
Speaker
I'm like, what the fuck?
01:09:59
Speaker
So freaked out.
01:10:00
Speaker
Dude, I relate to that so hard, being the only one that's scared at a sleepover.
01:10:05
Speaker
So scared.
01:10:07
Speaker
They just straight up go to bed.
01:10:09
Speaker
You're like, okay, goodnight, guys.
01:10:14
Speaker
I shit you not.
01:10:15
Speaker
I wait 15 minutes until I can hear them snoring slash heavy sleep breathing.
01:10:24
Speaker
I go out the back door of Colin's house with my skateboard.
01:10:29
Speaker
I throw it over the gate.
01:10:32
Speaker
I climb the fence.
01:10:34
Speaker
I skate home, like the mile and a half home.
01:10:38
Speaker
And it's like 2 in the morning.
01:10:40
Speaker
And it's that like...
01:10:42
Speaker
I just like pumping as hard as I fucking can.
01:10:45
Speaker
Yeah, because something's behind you chasing you.
01:10:46
Speaker
Something's behind me.
01:10:47
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
01:10:48
Speaker
I get home because I'm like, I can't sleep in a bed that isn't my own.
01:10:52
Speaker
I have to be at home.
01:10:53
Speaker
That's the only place that's safe.
01:10:54
Speaker
Nowhere else is safe.
01:10:56
Speaker
And the next morning,
01:11:00
Speaker
you know, 11 a.m.
01:11:01
Speaker
or whatever when they wake up, they're like, bro, where the fuck are you?
01:11:04
Speaker
And I just lied.
01:11:06
Speaker
I was like, oh, dude, I got really sick.
01:11:07
Speaker
I needed to go home.
01:11:09
Speaker
It's just like, classic lying about the fact that you were a pussy about the horror movie.
01:11:15
Speaker
I was trying to think about one.
01:11:17
Speaker
That scared me, but I get scared as fuck with horror movies now, but in high school in particular, I was the asshole friend who would watch the horror movie and then find every opportunity to fuck with you after.
01:11:29
Speaker
You're a bitch for that.
01:11:32
Speaker
Yeah, I was not that guy.
01:11:35
Speaker
No, I made some choices that were very mean in retrospect.
01:11:39
Speaker
Yeah, you know.
01:11:39
Speaker
I've done.
01:11:41
Speaker
We were all meaner when we were younger.
01:11:42
Speaker
Particularly one story involving watching The Strangers with the group.
01:11:47
Speaker
Fuck that movie.
01:11:47
Speaker
And it happened to have a girl I was interested in.
01:11:50
Speaker
And I decided to do the scene from the movie because my brain was undeveloped.
01:11:55
Speaker
He puts his hand on the shoulder.
01:11:57
Speaker
Nice.
01:11:58
Speaker
Damn.
01:11:59
Speaker
That's really good.
01:12:00
Speaker
That's good.
01:12:02
Speaker
That was honestly the trailer for The Strangers.
01:12:05
Speaker
Like, fucked my shit up.
01:12:07
Speaker
One of the best trailers for a war movie.
01:12:09
Speaker
An incredible trailer to look back on now.
01:12:11
Speaker
For a pretty mid-movie.
01:12:12
Speaker
Yeah, I like that movie okay, but it still scares me to death.
01:12:15
Speaker
Yeah, but Dennis Reynolds gets fucking obliterated with a shotgun in that movie.
01:12:19
Speaker
He also gets obliterated in Crank 2, High Voltage.
01:12:24
Speaker
Oh, I haven't seen it.
01:12:25
Speaker
High Voltage.
01:12:25
Speaker
Hell yeah.
01:12:27
Speaker
Sorry, that title just made me laugh.
01:12:30
Speaker
Crank 2 High Voltage.
01:12:31
Speaker
It's really good.
01:12:33
Speaker
I think so.
01:12:33
Speaker
It's a good movie.
01:12:34
Speaker
It's the break into electric boogaloo of our day.
01:12:37
Speaker
It's maybe the most racist movie I've ever seen in my entire life.
01:12:42
Speaker
That's why you like it so much.
01:12:44
Speaker
Is Mel Gibson in it?
01:12:45
Speaker
No, sadly no.
01:12:47
Speaker
Mel's not in there.
01:12:49
Speaker
What about Woody Allen?
01:12:50
Speaker
Is he in there?
01:12:50
Speaker
No, sorry.
01:12:51
Speaker
He's not racist.
01:12:52
Speaker
He is, but I hate his brains.
01:12:57
Speaker
I feel like he's racist in a way.
01:12:58
Speaker
He's probably racist.
01:12:59
Speaker
He's racist in a way that's like, I just don't, I just don't like, he makes me nervous.
01:13:06
Speaker
Yeah.
01:13:07
Speaker
And he, and he always has the like, but my wife is Asian.
01:13:10
Speaker
She's also my daughter.
01:13:11
Speaker
Like he has that whole thing too.
01:13:16
Speaker
Oh, man.
01:13:16
Speaker
If we're doing quickly, quickly, some like found footage wrecks, some solo wrecks.
01:13:22
Speaker
I really like M. Night Shyamalan's The Visit, which came out in 2015.
01:13:26
Speaker
It was kind of his like comeback from his like sort of major studio down like with the happening and everything.
01:13:32
Speaker
And he I think he had done The Last Airbender and he was just really on a low.
01:13:36
Speaker
And so he's like, OK, it's when he started his like self-financing.
01:13:40
Speaker
He's like, I'm going to self-finance this movie, this like tiny little movie.
01:13:45
Speaker
It's two child actors and like two adults.
01:13:49
Speaker
It takes place mostly in a house.
01:13:50
Speaker
But basically it's these two kids, a boy and a girl, and they're traveling for the first time without their mother.
01:13:57
Speaker
And she's like, I'm going to just send you to your grandparents.
01:13:59
Speaker
You're going to stay.
01:14:00
Speaker
And so like these two kids, like get on a plane and go see their grandmother and grandfather.
Shyamalan's PG-13 Twist
01:14:05
Speaker
And
01:14:07
Speaker
Basically, the movie goes along and the boy's like, he's a video camera kid.
01:14:12
Speaker
So he's got his video camera at all times.
01:14:14
Speaker
And as the movie goes along, they're calling their mom.
01:14:17
Speaker
They're talking about a great-grandma and grandpa, all this stuff.
01:14:20
Speaker
And they slowly start to realize those are not our grandparents.
01:14:24
Speaker
And it's...
01:14:26
Speaker
Very upsetting.
01:14:27
Speaker
It's like, to me, it's one of the scarier PG 13s I've seen just because like there's nothing super lurid or violent in it.
01:14:35
Speaker
But it's, you know, it's Shyamalan doing what he's what he started out being great doing, which is like simple premise.
01:14:43
Speaker
like, I'm just going to riff on this and show you some really upsetting shit.
01:14:47
Speaker
And there's not like, there is a twist in that, but like you see that coming from like minute 10.
01:14:53
Speaker
Um, so, but twist don't have to be good.
01:14:57
Speaker
There just has to be one.
01:14:58
Speaker
There has to be one.
01:14:58
Speaker
That's a good call, but like they're not to spoil anything, but there is a scene in this movie where an old man rubs his poopy diaper in a 10 year old's face.
01:15:09
Speaker
And, uh, it, uh,
01:15:11
Speaker
is simultaneously really funny.
01:15:14
Speaker
They're saying it was Joe Biden.
01:15:16
Speaker
Yeah.
01:15:16
Speaker
They're saying he put his poopy diaper in a kid's face.
01:15:19
Speaker
I think it's Peter McRobbie in the movie.
01:15:22
Speaker
But it...
01:15:23
Speaker
That's a fake name.
01:15:26
Speaker
Peter McRobbie.
01:15:29
Speaker
Yeah.
01:15:29
Speaker
When you're like lying to the cop, he's like, yeah, my name is Peter.
01:15:33
Speaker
Uh, Robbie.
01:15:35
Speaker
And there's the shot where you, where you cut to the name tag on the cop and his name is Robbie.
01:15:39
Speaker
And the other one's name is Mick.
01:15:40
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
01:15:43
Speaker
Mick Robbie.
01:15:46
Speaker
Do y'all remember?
01:15:47
Speaker
I'm sure you don't.
01:15:48
Speaker
But there's an old SNL Andy Samberg sketch where he's... Yeah, I wouldn't expect you to know the random SNL sketch.
01:15:55
Speaker
No, no, no.
01:15:56
Speaker
It's just silly.
01:15:56
Speaker
And I've only watched it recently.
01:15:59
Speaker
I only watched it recently because I've listened to the Lonely Island podcast.
01:16:03
Speaker
But it's him and Kevin Spacey.
01:16:07
Speaker
Kevin Spacey's hosting.
01:16:08
Speaker
Yeah.
01:16:08
Speaker
Famously cool dude, Kevin Spacey.
01:16:12
Speaker
Famously chill around pre-problems.
01:16:14
Speaker
Or at least pre-revelation of the problems.
01:16:16
Speaker
But...
01:16:18
Speaker
Kevin Spacey's hosting and he does this bit where he's like, it's Andy coming in as Andy and Kevin as Kevin.
01:16:26
Speaker
And he does this bit where he's trying to make up an excuse for why he's late to their recording to record the sketch.
01:16:32
Speaker
And he basically does the usual suspects thing.
01:16:36
Speaker
He just makes up a story using all of the objects that are behind Kevin Spacey.
01:16:40
Speaker
And then they cut the live tape and go to a pre-tape and it's his whole like realization of piecing it all together.
01:16:45
Speaker
But it's literally, it gets to the point where it's every syllable of every word is a different object.
01:16:51
Speaker
It's really funny.
01:16:53
Speaker
Damn, the Lonely Island's been goaded.
01:16:56
Speaker
Oh yeah, they're the best.
01:16:57
Speaker
Did y'all like Sushi Glory Hole?
01:17:00
Speaker
Yeah, it's good.
01:17:00
Speaker
It's really funny.
01:17:01
Speaker
I've listened to it a few times.
01:17:02
Speaker
Return to form, if you will.
01:17:04
Speaker
Yeah, truly.
01:17:04
Speaker
I mean, I guess they never lost it because Popstar is fucking insane.
01:17:08
Speaker
Popstar
Tubi's Unique Offerings
01:17:09
Speaker
rips so fucking hard.
01:17:11
Speaker
And they're still doing good Bash Bros, bitch.
01:17:14
Speaker
basically sure we could we could we could bring that in you know music documentaries they they could there's another found footage movie that i want to shout out uh for just blowing my mind with how good it was out of nowhere movie called on tubi by the way should check check it out uh it's called sorgoy prokov um s-o-r-g-o-i-p-r-a-k-o-v i can spell how about me uh
01:17:43
Speaker
Just picturing Maddie sitting with Joe Knightley with hooked on phonics.
01:17:47
Speaker
Yeah.
01:17:50
Speaker
Still learning how to do this whole reading thing.
01:17:53
Speaker
Cat.
01:17:54
Speaker
And then Joe's like, I wanted little Einsteins.
01:17:58
Speaker
Going on a trip and our famous rock ship.
01:18:01
Speaker
Running through the sky.
01:18:03
Speaker
Little Einsteins.
01:18:05
Speaker
But Sorghoi Prokhov is a found footage movie that basically asks the question, what if Borat
01:18:12
Speaker
got really scary at the end.
01:18:14
Speaker
Oh, cool.
01:18:16
Speaker
That's kind of fun.
01:18:18
Speaker
It's basically just this dude from a made-up country in Eastern Europe that is going to make a television program, kind of like a travel blog.
01:18:29
Speaker
about traveling to... It's like Sorgoy's European dream or something is what he's trying to find.
01:18:39
Speaker
He's trying to find what the European dream is.
01:18:42
Speaker
And he basically starts in Paris and then something happens with his flight and he gets stuck in Paris.
01:18:50
Speaker
And then things just keep going worse.
01:18:54
Speaker
And I truly was...
01:18:59
Speaker
pretty blown away how like how honestly the journey from a normal guy into the depths of depravity that they get into at the end of this movie like it feels natural and that's really terrifying like this this is a horror movie that works in the premise of you don't know if this could happen to you or not
01:19:23
Speaker
It might.
01:19:25
Speaker
Found footage has to feel natural to be scary.
01:19:27
Speaker
Yeah, and this just feels like... It does this really cool formalism thing at the end where they... As the camera goes through all the shit that it goes through, it starts to deteriorate.
01:19:40
Speaker
And so by the end of the movie, there's a constant... In the last five minutes, because this would get annoying otherwise, but the last five minutes, there's a constant white noise...
01:19:53
Speaker
Like Planet Terror?
01:19:55
Speaker
Yeah, but louder and meant to... It has a really scary, discordant note to it.
01:20:01
Speaker
It's meant to... It's one of the most fucked up endings I've ever seen that I wasn't expecting.
01:20:10
Speaker
One of those things that genuinely upset me
01:20:13
Speaker
Like the end of Red Rooms?
01:20:14
Speaker
It kind of exists in the same territory as that.
01:20:17
Speaker
Wow.
01:20:19
Speaker
I mean, that is the most upsetting, bucked up ending I've seen to anything in like a long time.
01:20:24
Speaker
It was... The Red Rooms is so phenomenal.
01:20:28
Speaker
It's really good.
01:20:29
Speaker
I really like it.
01:20:30
Speaker
But like...
01:20:31
Speaker
the sound is like the sound design thing it happens in sort of a pro cop too where it's just like this like very evil sounding sound design and music work and the main guy's performance is terrifying and it just like the last five minutes of this movie feel like you're getting held underwater wow I love that yeah it's great I couldn't recommend it more um well
01:20:57
Speaker
Boys, any final thoughts?
01:20:59
Speaker
Can I do a bit quickly?
01:21:01
Speaker
I put Sorge Prokhov on my list on Tubi, and I was like, what's the top of my list?
01:21:05
Speaker
I just want to read the first nine films on my list.
01:21:10
Speaker
Sorge Prokhov now, All the Real Girls, David Gordon Green's first movie, which I've never seen, but I thought that was a funny follow-up to Sorge Prokhov.
01:21:17
Speaker
Santa Sangra.
01:21:19
Speaker
Nice.
01:21:19
Speaker
Neeping Tom.
01:21:21
Speaker
Nice.
01:21:22
Speaker
Some movie with Ernest Borgnin called The Devil's Reign.
01:21:27
Speaker
The Lair of the White Worm.
01:21:28
Speaker
Shout out, Joe.
01:21:30
Speaker
Which I haven't watched yet, but I'm excited.
01:21:31
Speaker
I also saw that it's on Prime.
01:21:33
Speaker
So if you wanted to watch it without interruptions, it's also on Prime.
01:21:35
Speaker
But I like the 2B thing.
01:21:37
Speaker
I like, you know, it gives me time to pee-pee.
01:21:40
Speaker
Tenebrae.
01:21:40
Speaker
Argento's Tenebrae.
01:21:41
Speaker
Yep, that's online too.
01:21:43
Speaker
A Texarkana horror movie called The Town That Dreaded Sundown.
01:21:48
Speaker
Is Tenebrae like a third installment to the Suspiria trilogy?
01:21:53
Speaker
I don't know.
01:21:53
Speaker
I don't know how that related.
01:21:55
Speaker
It's I know Suspiria then Inferno.
01:21:57
Speaker
And I think based on some of the names of those movies, it would be.
01:22:01
Speaker
Okay.
01:22:01
Speaker
That would make sense.
01:22:02
Speaker
I don't know.
01:22:03
Speaker
I don't know.
01:22:03
Speaker
Interesting.
01:22:05
Speaker
But yeah, a coworker of mine at my church is from Texarkana.
01:22:09
Speaker
And I was talking to him about Texas Chainsaw.
01:22:11
Speaker
And he was like, oh, you have to watch The Town That Dreaded Sundown.
01:22:14
Speaker
And of course, it's on the people's streaming service.
01:22:16
Speaker
And then David Cronenberg's Rabid.
01:22:19
Speaker
the last one.
01:22:19
Speaker
Yeah, I have that one on there too.
01:22:20
Speaker
There's just so much.
01:22:22
Speaker
The selection of movies you can get on Tubi, you could get All That Jazz, for instance.
01:22:28
Speaker
Or you could get Hold on, where's the really weird one that I had saved?
01:22:34
Speaker
My list is so strange.
01:22:35
Speaker
Murder Party.
01:22:36
Speaker
Sick.
01:22:38
Speaker
My list is essentially, for the most part, it's all weird westerns that I never would have heard of.
01:22:45
Speaker
Classics like The Apartment or all these weird horror movies that I've been seeking out.
01:22:52
Speaker
That's why they're so cool because you can watch a movie called Surf Nazis Must Die.
01:22:56
Speaker
Sick.
01:22:58
Speaker
And then you could also watch a Nicholas Winning Refn's The Pusher Trilogy.
01:23:03
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
01:23:03
Speaker
Sick.
01:23:04
Speaker
Sick.
01:23:05
Speaker
fucking red.
01:23:06
Speaker
You know what?
01:23:06
Speaker
I love it.
01:23:07
Speaker
I've decided later this month, it came from Tubi.
01:23:10
Speaker
That's the new episode.
01:23:11
Speaker
It shall be done.
01:23:13
Speaker
Let it be decreed.
01:23:15
Speaker
Let it be decreed amongst all brethren gathered here today.
01:23:18
Speaker
Can we set a standard for that?
01:23:21
Speaker
Can I just ask a quick follow-up?
01:23:24
Speaker
we should all watch like a certain number of movies that like are just like random picks.
01:23:30
Speaker
Like you're like, like Joseph, like surf Nazis must die.
01:23:32
Speaker
It's like, just pick a title that looks cool.
01:23:35
Speaker
Yeah.
01:23:35
Speaker
Because like, that's the other great thing about to be is it's like the depths of everything.
01:23:39
Speaker
We all have to agree that we are not going to watch each other's movies though.
01:23:42
Speaker
Cause it, it'll be, Oh yeah, yeah, for sure.
01:23:43
Speaker
We'll sit, we can send a list.
01:23:45
Speaker
You can just like pick them and then,
01:23:46
Speaker
We'll just do, we'll do like a, we'll do a, oh, you know what we should do?
01:23:49
Speaker
We should draft.
01:23:50
Speaker
We should do a to-be draft.
01:23:53
Speaker
Each of us, like, we'll do a thing where we're like, we each get to go through and pick a movie until we get to like five or something.
01:23:58
Speaker
Maybe we'll do that on like next week's app.
01:24:01
Speaker
Like we'll put it in or whatever.
01:24:02
Speaker
You can't be opening doors behind me, you son of a bitch.
01:24:05
Speaker
We're talking about frightening stuff.
01:24:07
Speaker
Boys, can I be honest?
01:24:08
Speaker
I think we need to start wrapping this podcast up because I might shit my pants.
01:24:14
Speaker
Oh, let's get out of here.
01:24:15
Speaker
For sure.
01:24:15
Speaker
I'm a sleepy boy.
01:24:17
Speaker
I have three questions for you.
01:24:19
Speaker
We are going to go into the Akira Kurosawa high and low.
01:24:22
Speaker
So I'm going to ask you your...
01:24:25
Speaker
Best piece of media that you consume this week, the worst piece of media.
01:24:27
Speaker
And if you can think of it, just quickly go through your letterbox list.
01:24:30
Speaker
What's the best first watch you had in the month of October?
01:24:33
Speaker
I like that.
01:24:34
Speaker
Yeah.
01:24:35
Speaker
I'm going to go ahead and go first just because I'm here.
01:24:37
Speaker
Yeah.
01:24:37
Speaker
Because I can go ahead and do it.
01:24:39
Speaker
I don't really have a low this week.
01:24:41
Speaker
I have just been listening to a lot of great music and watching a lot of great movies and just having a blast.
01:24:50
Speaker
You know, it's just been awesome.
01:24:52
Speaker
I've been really, really, really enjoying it.
01:24:54
Speaker
I have... You know what?
01:24:56
Speaker
Actually, my low is... We are reaching truly
Elm Street & Unusual Viewing Experiences
01:25:00
Speaker
one of the most disparaging, despicable, horrible points of what social media looks like in our political climate to the degree of which it's like, I just...
01:25:14
Speaker
As much as people love to be like, I'm just going to get off social media.
01:25:18
Speaker
They usually are pricks, but I kind of am like, dog, this might actually be like... This is absolute dog ass.
01:25:25
Speaker
This might be really, really bad for me, just as a person.
01:25:27
Speaker
Yeah.
01:25:29
Speaker
My high this week, because I talked about Ghostwatch, I'm not going to say that.
01:25:34
Speaker
And instead, I'm going to talk about a little film called A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 Dream Warriors.
01:25:40
Speaker
Yes, baby.
01:25:41
Speaker
Let's go!
01:25:43
Speaker
Good.
01:25:45
Speaker
Incredible film Dream Warriors Fucking rips And I'm so Like The boys kept talking The boys kept talking They kept saying People were saying The boys were saying People were saying This Freddy Krueger guy He's bad news But you gotta You gotta spend some time with him I call him Frightening Freddy I call him I've known him for 40 years That's all I've called him I used to call him something else But I can't say it anymore
01:26:10
Speaker
But I'll say it these days.
01:26:11
Speaker
The woke media will come for me.
01:26:13
Speaker
Dream Warriors is in so many ways what I really, really, really want out of this style of horror movie.
01:26:20
Speaker
It's got a real mean streak to it.
01:26:24
Speaker
It's fucking mean.
01:26:25
Speaker
It hates these children.
01:26:27
Speaker
It's got really fucking cool practical effects.
01:26:30
Speaker
It's got really interesting use of those gags and those practical effects.
01:26:34
Speaker
And it's got a sense of humor not in the way of like
01:26:38
Speaker
There are some horror movies that have a sense of humor that it just never works.
01:26:45
Speaker
Freddie really does for me.
01:26:49
Speaker
So Dream Warriors.
01:26:51
Speaker
Rick Pitino in Yankee Stadium.
01:26:54
Speaker
Oh, wow.
01:26:54
Speaker
With my head slicked back, I look like Rick Pitino.
01:26:57
Speaker
Best action feature.
01:26:59
Speaker
Yeah, I was about to say, that's an action line.
01:27:03
Speaker
Off of that chant song, right?
01:27:06
Speaker
And I will say, I think my two favorite first watches, and I just can't decide between the two, are both threes.
01:27:14
Speaker
It's either The Exorcist 3 or it's
01:27:16
Speaker
Elm Street 3 both were excellent watches for October like almost perfect for me and if you're ready Zach I'd love to hear from you yeah my low is fucking easy and I didn't even finish it yet but Maxine is such a swing and a miss especially because Pearl is pretty good I like Pearl and X I like both of those movies I did not like X I liked Pearl what can I do yeah fair enough he should have gone full Jolli
01:27:44
Speaker
Yeah, that's it.
01:27:45
Speaker
It pulls so many punches.
01:27:46
Speaker
It's such a disappointment.
01:27:47
Speaker
He's a coward.
01:27:49
Speaker
Honorable mention to something Joe and I mentioned, Rap World.
01:27:53
Speaker
That shit is so funny, and I'm going to rewatch it a billion times.
01:27:57
Speaker
There's a line in it where he goes, yeah, there's a shepherd out there that's sexy as fuck, and that's you.
01:28:05
Speaker
like that or like just having like the me theme song just casually playing in the background is like the fucking perfect touch um so that's really good i watched uh oh i'm gonna save that for the best of the month but my high for the week is the empty man
01:28:23
Speaker
Shout out for the people that don't know.
01:28:26
Speaker
I put off watching this movie for literal years because the first experience I had with it was getting sat next to a furry couple on an airplane who had be petted during the entirety of the film.
01:28:39
Speaker
Very cool.
01:28:41
Speaker
I'm sorry, David Pryor, unless you're into that.
01:28:43
Speaker
I don't know.
01:28:44
Speaker
Just don't do that on a plane.
01:28:46
Speaker
Yeah, I think we can all agree on that point.
01:28:49
Speaker
But as far as the month goes, this is such a basic film podcast answer, but it's also undeniable.
01:29:00
Speaker
I saw Rosemary's Baby for the first time this weekend.
01:29:02
Speaker
Oh my god.
01:29:03
Speaker
Is that good?
01:29:05
Speaker
Yeah, it really is.
01:29:07
Speaker
How'd that 4K look?
01:29:10
Speaker
Phenomenal.
01:29:11
Speaker
Hell yeah.
01:29:11
Speaker
We love to see it.
01:29:13
Speaker
I encouraged Zach to get it when we were at the Blu-ray store.
01:29:16
Speaker
Yeah, and it was a good call because I have noticed at that store there are some 4Ks that are unreasonably cheap compared to where you buy other places.
01:29:26
Speaker
And this one that I bought was used, quote unquote, but I don't think anyone's ever watched it.
01:29:32
Speaker
It was still like 24 bucks.
01:29:35
Speaker
Or did they mark that one up more?
01:29:37
Speaker
No, it wasn't any more than 25 for sure.
01:29:40
Speaker
But for a UHD, that's like... Yeah, for sure.
01:29:43
Speaker
I think I paid the same disc.
01:29:44
Speaker
I think I paid like 43 at Barnes & Noble or something.
01:29:48
Speaker
The best part of 4K is that it's actually because it's one more K than the bad one.
01:29:53
Speaker
Okay, okay.
01:29:56
Speaker
That being said, amazing film that happened to not be directed by anyone.
01:30:01
Speaker
It just appeared one day.
01:30:03
Speaker
Directed by the devil.
01:30:06
Speaker
Good flick.
01:30:07
Speaker
Who's to say?
01:30:08
Speaker
It's actually found footage of Mia Farrow and John Cassavetes.
01:30:13
Speaker
Bores.
01:30:15
Speaker
Bores.
01:30:16
Speaker
Bores.
01:30:16
Speaker
I want to hear from Zach.
01:30:20
Speaker
I want to hear from Austin John.
01:30:22
Speaker
Hello.
01:30:23
Speaker
Yeah, let's see.
01:30:25
Speaker
I'm similar to Red.
01:30:27
Speaker
I don't know.
01:30:28
Speaker
I think my low for the weekend is something I still liked was Clint Eastwood's Bloodwork, which I watched last night.
01:30:34
Speaker
I gave it like two on Letterboxd.
01:30:35
Speaker
I did like it, but it's like a...
01:30:39
Speaker
it's a movie with a twist you see the it's a serial killer movie you see the twist coming like 25 miles away like it's not even close um clint does some really interesting things visually in it there's a whole sequence where he's dreaming and it's all like um like inverted colors and everything like it feels very it felt very adventurous for him it's also like a brian helgeland script and brian helgel in certain movies i like but broadly i find him to be kind of boring especially when he's trying to be thrilling
01:31:10
Speaker
So true Pop off Go off But it was okay Clint's amazing in it There is the obligatory scene Where Clint sleeps with a woman 40 years his younger It's even better when he does it in the mule Oh yeah well it's a threesome in the mule Love that He's only 57 you sick bastard Do you guys think Clint's got a hog on him?
01:31:37
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
01:31:38
Speaker
Without a doubt.
01:31:39
Speaker
Not a corker.
01:31:40
Speaker
Yeah, for sure.
01:31:41
Speaker
You can see it coming out of his chaps in the westerns.
01:31:45
Speaker
Soldatophil?
01:31:46
Speaker
Tadadaphil?
01:31:48
Speaker
What?
01:31:48
Speaker
Are you having a stroke?
01:31:51
Speaker
That's the generic name of the boner.
01:31:55
Speaker
He needs more phonics.
01:31:57
Speaker
Soldatophil?
01:31:59
Speaker
I think it's soldatophil.
01:32:02
Speaker
I don't know what the fuck you're on about.
01:32:03
Speaker
Yeah, Viagra.
01:32:04
Speaker
Just say Viagra, dude.
01:32:07
Speaker
Just say Viagra.
01:32:08
Speaker
No, man.
01:32:10
Speaker
Clint doesn't need any of it.
01:32:11
Speaker
I'm trying to do a funny bit where I say the word wrong, you dumbass.
01:32:14
Speaker
You ruined it.
01:32:15
Speaker
Fuck.
01:32:15
Speaker
It was working on me.
01:32:17
Speaker
I truly thought you might be smelling burning toast, though.
01:32:20
Speaker
I was like, dog, what's wrong with you?
01:32:25
Speaker
But yeah, blood work probably be my low.
01:32:27
Speaker
Sorry, I know Red's shitting his pants.
01:32:29
Speaker
Um...
01:32:30
Speaker
No, it's okay.
01:32:32
Speaker
It has subsided.
01:32:33
Speaker
If he has to shit his pants to get this Potter recorded, he'll fucking do it.
01:32:36
Speaker
He will.
01:32:37
Speaker
He's committed to it.
01:32:38
Speaker
I put my body on the line.
01:32:39
Speaker
I know you do, baby.
01:32:40
Speaker
I know you do.
01:32:42
Speaker
Mine would probably be movies that have already been said, like Elm Street 3 Dream Warriors, which I found phenomenal.
01:32:47
Speaker
I loved all five of the first ones.
01:32:49
Speaker
Yeah, I was going to cheat and just say the first five Freddy movies.
01:32:51
Speaker
Yeah, dude, they're so... I mean, they're all really fun.
01:32:53
Speaker
My...
01:32:57
Speaker
Did I do my high for the week?
01:32:58
Speaker
I didn't.
01:32:58
Speaker
I'm skipping to the month.
01:33:00
Speaker
So my high for the week is – this is why it's difficult, though, because I watched a lot of great stuff this week, and so I'm like, where do I place it?
01:33:07
Speaker
My high for the week is probably Slumber Party Massacre.
01:33:11
Speaker
Great movie.
01:33:12
Speaker
Yes, dude.
01:33:13
Speaker
Awesome flick.
01:33:15
Speaker
Yeah, really got me.
01:33:16
Speaker
I loved –
01:33:18
Speaker
The oddity of the weapon.
01:33:20
Speaker
I love them kind of showing his face early on.
01:33:23
Speaker
I was like, oh yeah, it doesn't matter who this person is.
01:33:26
Speaker
And then it gets like really kind of messy towards the end, which I fucking loved.
01:33:30
Speaker
Also like 78 minutes long.
01:33:32
Speaker
Incredible.
Exploring Eerie and Unique Films
01:33:35
Speaker
And then honorable mention high for the week is Paul Schrader's light sleeper.
01:33:39
Speaker
Really great movie starring Willem Dafoe, Willem Dafark, William Da Enemy.
01:33:44
Speaker
Thank you.
01:33:48
Speaker
Let's see.
01:33:49
Speaker
Hi for the month.
01:33:49
Speaker
I'm so sorry.
01:33:50
Speaker
I'm having trouble deciding.
01:33:52
Speaker
I'm going to go with Messiah of Evil, which I also watched this week.
01:33:57
Speaker
Dude, hell yeah.
01:33:59
Speaker
Evil Christians be like...
01:34:02
Speaker
For real, though, first of all, super sexy flick.
01:34:05
Speaker
My goodness gracious.
01:34:06
Speaker
A lot of hot looking peoples in that flick.
01:34:09
Speaker
Ass is vivacious.
01:34:11
Speaker
I mean, you're not kidding, buddy.
01:34:13
Speaker
But I just love the show ad libs in this episode.
01:34:17
Speaker
yeah i'm doing it i i love the vibe of it again again it's like 87 minutes i'm just gonna keep talking um it's like 87 minutes long incredible um and i just like i don't know the energy of it i found really fun and the the device of like the die like finding the diarrhea i always really like that as a device it's famous it was a really good time oh lord austin made another one i got one thing before you go joe
01:34:43
Speaker
I need Austin and Red to watch some Hennon-Lotter movies if y'all haven't already.
01:34:46
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:34:47
Speaker
You gotta get on this train.
01:34:49
Speaker
They're delayed on my list because I just spent so much time in Nightmare.
01:34:52
Speaker
He's becoming one of my guys very quickly.
01:34:54
Speaker
Me too.
01:34:55
Speaker
Basket Case and Frankenhooker.
01:34:57
Speaker
And Brain Damaged.
01:35:00
Speaker
Brain Damaged.
01:35:01
Speaker
And also there's two Basket Case sequels, which I've also heard are great.
01:35:06
Speaker
Oh, did he make those?
01:35:07
Speaker
A particular scene in Brain Damage that I genuinely was like, I can't fucking believe they actually did that.
01:35:14
Speaker
Hell yeah.
01:35:15
Speaker
I love that.
01:35:16
Speaker
Because Hindenlotter said, I don't feel like a horror filmmaker to me.
01:35:19
Speaker
I feel like an exploitation filmmaker.
01:35:21
Speaker
And so he does some crazy things with wee-wees in this movie.
01:35:24
Speaker
Ooh!
01:35:28
Speaker
Potentially queer coded?
01:35:30
Speaker
I think it kind of is.
01:35:31
Speaker
I don't know if you've heard of me, but you...
01:35:34
Speaker
Well, and I've heard too that he is kind of an icon in like queer horror spaces.
01:35:38
Speaker
Like particularly Frank and Hooker being like, you know, the sort of reconstruction of a body and all that.
01:35:43
Speaker
If we were four straight cis white guys and if we knew anyone who wasn't straight or cis who would want to talk about horror movies, I think it'd be really interesting to talk about how much of horror is queer coded.
01:35:54
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
01:35:55
Speaker
If you're listening and you're out there and if we don't know you, maybe you're a stranger, maybe you found us on the internet, you can still come.
01:36:00
Speaker
You can still hang out.
01:36:01
Speaker
Come on, girl.
01:36:01
Speaker
You can still hang out.
01:36:02
Speaker
What the fuck?
01:36:02
Speaker
about horror movies you're just doing your like children's voice again without the speech impediment so it's not cute and let it be known we're not cutting this shit fuck it we'll put it on the goddamn tiktok
01:36:14
Speaker
Paddington gone wild.
01:36:15
Speaker
Fuck it.
01:36:15
Speaker
We'll do it live.
01:36:16
Speaker
Paddington gone wild said trans rights.
01:36:18
Speaker
Paddington gone wild said gay rights.
01:36:20
Speaker
Paddington gone wild says if you don't like queer people, fuck you.
01:36:24
Speaker
Kill yourself.
01:36:25
Speaker
Follow her well.
01:36:26
Speaker
I don't care.
01:36:28
Speaker
I agree.
01:36:29
Speaker
I was laughing because you kind of dipped into Trump for a second.
01:36:32
Speaker
I was like, it's funny for him to say this.
01:36:34
Speaker
If you don't like the gays...
01:36:39
Speaker
You better get out of my way.
01:36:40
Speaker
You better get the fuck out.
01:36:41
Speaker
You better get out.
01:36:41
Speaker
Joe, you are the man of the hour.
01:36:45
Speaker
My low of the week is something that I think is very funny.
01:36:48
Speaker
It's a terrible thing, but I think it's very funny.
01:36:52
Speaker
That annoying, skinny...
01:36:56
Speaker
Fuck Tony Hinchcliffe at the Trump rally.
01:37:00
Speaker
That guy fucking sucks.
01:37:02
Speaker
I'm starting this just in.
01:37:05
Speaker
I'm starting it.
01:37:06
Speaker
Paddington Gone Wild has beef with Tony Hinchcliffe.
01:37:09
Speaker
I'll beat his scrawny ass.
01:37:11
Speaker
Joe Rogan won't protect him from me.
01:37:15
Speaker
Pro trans people, anti Tony Hinchcliffe.
01:37:17
Speaker
Tony Hinchcliffe is a hack comedian who designed a system in Austin that basically equates to you have to pretend to be his friend in order to be successful in Austin comedy.
01:37:31
Speaker
Everyone fucking hated him so much that he had to design an open mic to make friends.
01:37:36
Speaker
Damn.
01:37:37
Speaker
Bitch.
01:37:37
Speaker
Suck my fat dick and lick my wet ass.
01:37:42
Speaker
You unfunny just... There's so many words I want to say to you that I can't say.
01:37:49
Speaker
You can say them apparently.
01:37:50
Speaker
What I'll say is this.
01:37:57
Speaker
If you ever come back to your first folks, clip it.
01:38:03
Speaker
You can only count to eight because I got all the nines, bitch.
01:38:07
Speaker
My high of the week.
01:38:17
Speaker
is Rap World.
01:38:18
Speaker
It's the fucking... It's the funniest movie of the year by far.
01:38:22
Speaker
There's a line that Dan Licata says where he says, I heard all the North High girls smell like Halloween masks.
01:38:30
Speaker
I might fire it up again after this.
01:38:33
Speaker
Another good one is they're freestyling and Jack Bensinger's character goes, I do a bukkake all over Benghazi.
01:38:39
Speaker
Yeah.
01:38:43
Speaker
Wait, Joe, talk about the... Yo, that's wild.
01:38:47
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
01:38:47
Speaker
So, Zach sent me this article.
01:38:50
Speaker
Connor and Danny Sherrard, the director, they co-directed it.
01:38:54
Speaker
Okay, I'm going to watch it.
01:38:57
Speaker
I feel tired of being left out.
01:38:59
Speaker
I'm sorry.
01:38:59
Speaker
I haven't watched either.
01:39:00
Speaker
I'm just kidding.
01:39:01
Speaker
It was just him talking about private text with Zach where I was like, what the fuck?
01:39:05
Speaker
Put it in the group chat, you fuckers.
01:39:07
Speaker
They were talking about why they said it in 2009.
01:39:09
Speaker
And Danny goes, oh, we just wanted to talk about The Dark Knight.
01:39:12
Speaker
Connor's like, yeah, these guys definitely have seen The Dark Knight.
01:39:17
Speaker
And then Danny goes, you know, actually, when you watch the movie, you'll see they don't talk about it once, but you can definitely tell they just watched it.
01:39:26
Speaker
it's so funny it's just on his website right that's where you're on YouTube oh it's on YouTube um wait five minutes dark night this is fucked and I'm sorry we're going so long but it's okay this is not a funny story but I just situationally heard a story from someone today talking about how uh they went to an abortion clinic and they had the dark night playing in the lobby yo no
01:39:52
Speaker
Not the vibe.
01:39:53
Speaker
Yo.
01:39:54
Speaker
You wouldn't have picked something really cheap.
01:39:57
Speaker
You want to know how I got these scars?
01:39:59
Speaker
Yeah, let's play a fucking Sophie's Choice movie in the lobby of Planned Parenthood.
01:40:05
Speaker
Like, please.
01:40:07
Speaker
Depending on what time it is, he could be in one place or he could be in several.
01:40:12
Speaker
Several.
01:40:14
Speaker
That's not what you want to be hearing.
01:40:15
Speaker
Nope.
01:40:16
Speaker
Come on, John.
01:40:18
Speaker
Thanks.
01:40:19
Speaker
I've seen that movie.
01:40:20
Speaker
Every, every, every white guy.
01:40:22
Speaker
Actually, I'll just say every straight guy, every straight guy has an inherent DNA.
01:40:28
Speaker
God given ability to do a Joker impression.
01:40:31
Speaker
Oh yeah.
01:40:32
Speaker
It's.
01:40:34
Speaker
Which is sad because the gay guys would be so much better.
01:40:37
Speaker
And I will say it's not just for people biologically born into a man.
01:40:41
Speaker
If you transition and you are a man, you have gained the ability to do a Joker.
01:40:47
Speaker
It comes with the territory.
01:40:48
Speaker
Welcome to the team.
01:40:52
Speaker
Part of the ship, part of the crew, baby.
01:40:55
Speaker
Oh my good gravy.
01:40:56
Speaker
All just over in a corner going, Daddy didn't like that, Batman.
01:41:06
Speaker
My favorite one is when he goes, but we're pretty fully staffed at the moment, so we're going to have tryouts.
01:41:15
Speaker
I love that part so much.
01:41:16
Speaker
This podcast is perfect.
01:41:18
Speaker
Do you guys remember when Pete Holmes was doing Batman on College Humor?
01:41:22
Speaker
Yes.
01:41:23
Speaker
It's so good.
01:41:24
Speaker
Is he a helicopter?
01:41:26
Speaker
No, it's not helicopter.
01:41:28
Speaker
Okay, I'm pretty sure it's telecom.
01:41:30
Speaker
Yeah, he had a good one.
01:41:32
Speaker
Will you please talk about your favorite first watch of October?
01:41:35
Speaker
Fuck you.
01:41:38
Speaker
You just said this podcast is perfect.
01:41:40
Speaker
Why are you messing with the energy?
01:41:42
Speaker
not messing with the energy you gotta go poo poo god damn it so my my my top october first watch is also a chuck russell flick uh red it's the 1988 the blob it's really an instant joe classic it is beautiful from head to toe it's disgusting
01:42:00
Speaker
Yep.
01:42:01
Speaker
The blob.
01:42:02
Speaker
It's one of those movies where you're like, how are they going to make a blob scary?
01:42:06
Speaker
It's a blob.
01:42:08
Speaker
And then they do it and you're like, damn, that blob kind of scary.
01:42:14
Speaker
Pretty scary.
01:42:15
Speaker
You know, you wouldn't catch me dead with a blob.
01:42:19
Speaker
No, sir.
01:42:20
Speaker
Not me.
01:42:20
Speaker
Not in my Christian house.
01:42:23
Speaker
Well, gentlemen, I have 18 crosses in my living room.
01:42:26
Speaker
I don't want no blobs.
01:42:28
Speaker
So, you know, here's the danger.
01:42:29
Speaker
And this is the number one lesson a horror movie protagonist should learn from me.
01:42:33
Speaker
I'm giving you this advice for free.
01:42:35
Speaker
If you feel like you're in a horror movie, take this advice.
01:42:38
Speaker
If there's a room with crosses in them, the chance of those shits turning upside down on their own, that's too high.
01:42:45
Speaker
You can't risk that.
01:42:46
Speaker
It's a pretty good risk.
01:42:48
Speaker
So if you see a room with a lot of crosses in it, you might think it's safe because of Jesus, but that is a perfect room for the devil to get in there with you.
01:42:56
Speaker
Red is prairie dogging like Colin Murakawa, and if you don't know that reference, then that means you're not on Twitter, and God bless you.
01:43:04
Speaker
I don't know that reference, so God bless.
01:43:07
Speaker
Any final thoughts, gentlemen?
01:43:09
Speaker
This is really fun.
01:43:11
Speaker
This is... October has been really, really, really fun.
01:43:15
Speaker
We got to watch some fucking badass horror movies.
01:43:18
Speaker
I love horror movies.
01:43:20
Speaker
I didn't get all the way down my list, but I... I'm probably not going to stop.
01:43:26
Speaker
I might be a little more sporadic.
01:43:28
Speaker
I might just throw in some other things.
01:43:30
Speaker
I've been wanting to watch a comedy for like three weeks.
01:43:33
Speaker
I still haven't finished Knocked Up.
01:43:35
Speaker
I fell asleep on Knocked Up, so I've got to go finish it because I was trying to do that same thing.
01:43:38
Speaker
Good flick.
01:43:39
Speaker
I'm liking it so far.
01:43:42
Speaker
I get you pregnant.
01:43:47
Speaker
Thank you, Austin.
01:43:48
Speaker
Thank you, Zach.
01:43:49
Speaker
Thank you, Joe.
01:43:49
Speaker
Thank you to Kat and Andy who joined us a couple weeks ago.
01:43:54
Speaker
I love each and every one of you listening.
01:43:55
Speaker
We love you.
01:43:57
Speaker
Thanks for listening and being part of this silly, silly month.
01:44:00
Speaker
Bye.
01:44:01
Speaker
Go vote.
01:44:01
Speaker
Bye.