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Ep. 195 – The Jacob Marley of Christian Crypto Claps Back w/ Jesse H.
345 Plays9 months ago
This week we’re joined by Casey’s best friend Jesse to talk about his 10 year hiatus from and return to church, the fact that Howard Stern is a lame old pervert, moments that are flagged in your brain as eternally embarrassing, and then we catch up with Eli and Kaitlyn Regalado, the couple who made headlines earlier this year when their Christ-focused cryptocurrency and exchange went belly up. Earlier in the year, Eli was taking a more penitent approach to dealing with his legal issues. That has changed a bit… Enjoy the episode, and if you love old school games and want to play all of the best ones from your childhood on one easy to use console, contact Jesse on Instagram (@theretrowiener). His handhelds have all the best games from every console up through Sega Dreamcast. My favorites are NBA Jam, Donkey Kong Adventures, Mega Man, Mario 64, and like two of the 500 versions of Street Fighter. Shoot him a message and get one for yourself!
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Transcript
Fashion Disasters and Personal Style
00:00:00
Speaker
Yeah, I guess I should clarify that I did own a leather blazer. I remember that. It's the one you wore to our, no, our junior senior banquet. I had that and like a neon green tie with a black shirt. Nice. Like I was just a little fat pale Morpheus.
00:00:19
Speaker
i ah but you ate the red pill at the blue pill that was the problem can
00:00:49
Speaker
Hello and welcome to another episode of Growing Up Christian.
Podcast Introductions and Jesse's Return
00:00:52
Speaker
I'm Casey. I'm Sam. And I'm Jesse. Jesse's back. Hey, it's been a while. It really has. When was what i I meant to look up beforehand when the last time you joined us was? It was over a year. That's so crazy. Yeah, it's been a bit.
00:01:11
Speaker
Time flies baby. It sure does. Your mustache is still awesome. It looks great still. Thanks. Put some time into it.
Facial Hair and Grooming Dilemmas
00:01:20
Speaker
well and What's your what's your wax of choice? I use this one called Clubman wax. You can get it from most places that selling can anything like that I think but it's water soluble so you can just like wash it right out super easy.
00:01:34
Speaker
Oh, you don't get to comb it out. That's nice. Yeah. I'm kind of annoyed by beard products because I can't have one. So like I go to the store and if like all of a sudden there's like men's grooming products, like at Target, there's a whole section of like men's stuff. There's a huge section of them now. And I'm like, I would like some some face wash and i'll I'll get like one that's and a man bottle, I guess. And you go and look at it and it's all like beard scrub.
00:02:04
Speaker
beard sculptor, beard oil, beard wax, beard carnauba. And i I don't have any beard to do. I don't know if it's for washing skin. I feel like you're just mad that now that like, back when you were using a significant amount of hair products, you had to go to the women's aisle. And now it's all available for men. And you're just pissed that you keep it short and tight. And you can't you can't experiment now. I mean, you were the problem is you were born into the wrong decade.
00:02:36
Speaker
ah to be able to really get into your hair.
Hat Collections and Critiques
00:02:40
Speaker
We have to go back to curtain of sorrow. yeah that's The curtain of sorrow. I like that.
00:02:48
Speaker
At some point it's coming back. Like when I feel secure enough in my position that I and they won don't. Well, the problem with like growing your hair out is not that like somebody's going to be like, Hey, don't do that. You need to cut your hair. It's not that it's just that you have to take like a verbal beating from everyone all the time. And it's just going to be annoying. Like it's just listening to the same jokes over and over again. And Oh yeah.
00:03:17
Speaker
Yeah. it's And it's it's often not even jokes. It's just the same people making the same statements. Like, hey, your hair is getting long. Yeah. but I mean, it still is. it's due yeah That's what happens when you don't cut it. And you have to hear them say it like every couple of weeks. And it's I mean, it's their way of being like, get a haircut, you idiot. ah Yeah.
00:03:42
Speaker
it's a where That's how I like and so i felt when I decided I was going to start wearing hats. The thing that kept me from wearing hats for so long was just like, I haven't worn a hat in my entire life.
00:03:56
Speaker
I've never been a hat guy. I want to be now. And as soon as I start wearing a hat, I just have to listen to every single fucking person point out that I'm wearing a hat. And that's just going to. I didn't know you wore hats. Oh, hat you wear hats now. That's crazy. I have and never explained that. Yeah, I thought I would have brought it up. Yeah. I mean, usually I advertise. make make I mean, major changes. I mean, that's even when I cut my hair, when I chopped the locks off. It was like, part of that was like, I just, I, I kept those going even longer than I needed to needed. That's a weird word. So Jesse and I are definitely hat dudes and we're in start competition over who can have the most hats and not get a divorce. Okay. It's really eaten into square footage in our houses now. but Yeah. well What's, what's your count up to? Let's hear it.
00:04:49
Speaker
Last time I counted, I was at 20, I think, but it may be up a one or two since then. I'm somewhere in that neighborhood. I might be a little less. Part of the trick or the secret is that I also buy her hats. She can't be too weird with them. I buy my own again and again. You're like, hey, babe, I got you a new hat. And then it's like just a hat you would clearly wear. I did get her one of those and she hasn't worn it once.
00:05:17
Speaker
Hey babe, I got you a PS5 for our anniversary. yeah the The best presents are the ones that you can use yourself. yeah Yeah. Oh man.
Teenage Acne and Skin Care Myths
00:05:29
Speaker
You know, I was thinking about the other day when we were were like walking around and target and looking at like the grooming products and stuff. They have like the old tried and true, like clean and clear face wash, you know, the yellow stuff.
00:05:44
Speaker
And I remember like when I was a teenager, like early teens and I started getting zits. I remember like going to the store and and deciding like, I'm going to, you know, I'm going to ask my mom if I can get.
00:05:56
Speaker
Hackney face wash and she would agree to get me some and I was like, oh my god problem solved i never have it again but i thought That was gonna be the end of it I just didn't have the right tool for the job and it didn't work out that way Turns out you got like the off-brand that just clogged your pores and you woke up with a face full of zits pizza Yeah, I just have like avocado scrubs. It's what's that crap that they put in the soap that like scratches your face off sugar. Well, the sugar is the one of them. It exfoliates. I don't know. app Apricot rubber. I don't know. Whatever it is. It's some sort of fruit that nobody eats.
00:06:45
Speaker
I don't think it's the fruit that is rough. There's other things in there. Kind of like sand when I put sand in it. Yeah. This is a straight episode of Crocodile Hunter where he's like hanging out with orangutans and they have these little fruits that they like called rambutans.
Visiting Hometown and Church Dynamics
00:07:01
Speaker
And he just keeps saying it over and over again. And it's awesome. He's like, he's like, Oh, you're a naughty boy. Just eat your rambutan. Eat your rambutan now. You should clip that.
00:07:13
Speaker
Yeah. We need that. Not that you use the clips anymore, Casey. You forgot we had clips. I know. I know. I'm not doing a very good job at managing the soundboard either, but I've got some for today. Oh, hell yeah. I love that. ah Back on the acne thing.
00:07:31
Speaker
i never had I never had a lot of face zits. You get them, of course, you're a teenager. But I had that, like, that back knee era, and that was fucking brutal. I was so, I was like so, and it and then I wouldn't, I mean, there I knew of other people who did, you know?
00:07:49
Speaker
and I didn't care. I wasn't like, Oh, what a poor soul. Oh, they're not lovable. No one will ever want to date them. I never thought those things about them. But I'm like, I have back knee. I'm a hideous troll. I should drown myself in the ocean next time I go to the beach. And I sort of like you wear your shirt, you know, on the beach and shit. You're like, what are you doing? You're fucking dork. You look It's like, it's like the chubby kid who wears the white t-shirt into the water. It's like, you're not fucking fooling anybody. and It looks weird. Just take your shirt off. Oh, all the girls from our school wearing shorts and tank tops over their, their one-piece swimsuits. Yeah, we were a weird, weird group for sure.
00:08:41
Speaker
Dude, Jesse made a pilgrimage to the homeland. I sure did. It was a depressing town.
00:08:51
Speaker
Wonderful Fallerville, Michigan. Oh, yeah oh docs everybody knows where i'm from yeah. I don't think your last name's on here. There might be a couple other Jessies.
00:09:03
Speaker
Try to be careful to not out you completely. There's only four residents, so if you send anthrax to all of them, you're bound to get his mom. yeah
00:09:13
Speaker
ah Eventually.
Church Behavior During COVID
00:09:17
Speaker
When was the last time you were home? ah it's It's been really a really long time. I had some stuff going on with my grandma, and so we were trying to like plan her memorial service when she passed away. and nothing has come of it yet. And so I was like trying to wait so we could do it all at once. Cause you know, I don't want to make a bunch of trips and we just kept pushing it back and pushing it back. Cause it's been almost two years or about two years since I had been home. It was a while, but it was good to see my mom. I heard you, I heard you not only made a pilgrimage,
00:09:48
Speaker
to your home, but that you attended a religious institution while you were there? I did. I didn't really want to, but I knew that it would make her happy. So I was like, well, yeah I'll go. just and It's been a long time. It has probably been 10 years since I attended a church service on purpose.
00:10:10
Speaker
man wow that's pretty good man i don't think a lot of people you can say that uh who may are our age and you right yeah it may be a little less than that but probably about that Like usually something made them go back. Even if it was only like in a 10 year period was one time that their mom made them feel bad enough for not going to the Christmas Eve Eve service. Yeah, I'm sure I attended like something where one of my nieces was performing or something and it would have been a church service but that would have been it. I don't remember when that was.
00:10:48
Speaker
but She doesn't go to the same church anymore because no it didn't go to the church that we grew up in. No, no. Yeah, I i was happy to not go there for sure. ah But we went to a different one. It's her new church um that she's been out and how long she's been going there because she's kind of bounced around since 2020. But yeah, it was it was interesting to say the least actually some of the people from.
00:11:11
Speaker
the old church were there as well, like just a few all old biddies. I feel like that hat like in in areas, ah you could if you're in church long enough in an area, you can go to any other evangelical church in that area and just run into people you've gone to church with, because that's most of people who go to church. are just like ones who are going to new ones. They like kind of cycle through.
Political Frustrations During COVID
00:11:42
Speaker
Oh, yeah, for sure. Well, it's also like it's not a very heavily populated area and like at all, you know, like the surrounding ah towns and villages that they're not big either. Doesn't stop them from putting a church on every street corner. though Oh, yeah. No, yeah. there's them I it was ah covid during covid ah by the the church that I grew up in.
00:12:06
Speaker
Uh, was, you know, I don't think there's anything off the wall about it. I mean, I, it is off the wall as anything else really. It's, uh, But whatever, normal no surprise. It's no surprises when it comes to like your typical conservative evangelical stuff. ah But what I thought was so funny, it was like during COVID, you know, I don't know if they ever fully shut down. I don't remember. ah They didn't take a hard line stance. They, you know, they did tell people if they were going to attend, they needed to wear a mask to be within, you know, Massachusetts guidelines and shit like that. but
00:12:46
Speaker
um you know as soon as you didn't have to anymore was like whoo like the people the through it was like uh throwing them up in there like fucking graduation hats after the ceremony but uh but for me in my opinion i thought they were a little on the uh a little more on the reckless side like A lot of that comes from that feeling of yeah you just, you don't have to go to this. Nothing bad is going to happen if you take a break, like you don't have to do that. Like why, even if it wasn't COVID, it was like everyone in church has the flu. I'd be like, I guess we're taking a few weeks off. Like I just wouldn't go. And I and i think most people would have felt that way, uh, until it was COVID and it was politicized, but it was cool finding out who the real hard liners were because they all started being like, Hey,
00:13:35
Speaker
We're going to this new church over in Barrie and they don't make you wear masks. Dude, that's she told me that a lot of the people that are going to this church now went to a church that I used to go to called 242. And a lot of people left that church because in 2020, they were like making people wear masks and making them like sign stuff.
00:13:58
Speaker
you like I don't remember what they were scanning something. I don't remember all the details she told me, but a lot of people didn't like it, and they wanted to go to this other church where they didn't have to wear a mask. Yeah. Which is insane. And of course, with that comes your typical messages from the pulpit of politicizing everything in your religion and shit like that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But I like that. That was a nice. It was cool to realize. I'm like, I didn't even know this church existed.
00:14:27
Speaker
ah So it was cool when like COVID really got to like highlight in a hierarchical hierarchical fashion of like what the craziest institutions were and where, sweet. God, I hate, I'm so sick about everything in this country is like politicized to to like the nth degree to the point where like nobody is reasonable about anything. No, not at all.
00:14:57
Speaker
And that was like the the worst example I feel like for the most part, because it was like you either on the one hand, you had to like lick the back of every urinal to prove that you weren't living in fear of the virus or whatever.
00:15:11
Speaker
On the other hand, it's like December of 2023, and people are still posting things about how you need to mask up if you care about your neighbors. Yeah. God, this is so... It's done. It's done. Stop trying to bring it back. It's done. And it's good that it's done. Just leave it alone. I know. Can't we be happy about... Why can't we be happy that something isn't shitty for once? Don't fucking make everything shitty all the time. Right. That's what a lot of other stuff is.
00:15:41
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, I still know some people who are like, you have to mask up. it they They'll mask up everywhere they go. And it it's like, well, this, this isn't, this isn't real. And I can't, I can't listen to you. If you look, if you want to do that and you're going to, I'm not here to, I think it's goofy. You know what? I'm not defending it. I think it's goofy. You don't need to do that. it So you should at this point I thought and So, but whatever, do it if you want, it's your right. But when those people talk to you about how the other side is impervious to logic and reason, I go, well yeah yeah i'm side until the same well, I agree with the things that you have a problem with the other side. The problem is your math is wrong. in Right. You guys are two sides of the same coin.
00:16:31
Speaker
particular I have that like moron gene in me too though, where like I went to the dentist today and I walked into the back office, you know, to like sit down and the lady came walking up and she had a surgical mask on and I was like, what are you doing?
00:16:50
Speaker
And then it took me, it took me a minute to be like, they always wore masks. I'm an idiot. Oh my word, I'm infected. It's just like the dumb got me. Is there an outbreak? What are you wearing that for? Yeah, you're like, what do you have? Well, nice face diaper, doctor. In parentheses, doctor.
Dental Visit Humor
00:17:15
Speaker
air Oh, what's that? What's that bottle full of fluoride? Oh, yeah, that dental dentists hygienists love. They love fluoride. I think they but you can still the you can still be ah you can you can live with that cognitive distance. I know I know people in that camp where it's just like, Florida in the water. It's terrible.
00:17:42
Speaker
And then they're like, but they're in, they're in that industry. And it's just like, you you literally use it on people all day, every day, right but whatever. I guess, I guess if they thoroughly rinse it out enough, you're fine. I don't know. I mean, we put it in our toothpaste and we swallow some of that. yeah I swallow my toothpaste all the time. I think that, I think that's what you're supposed to do to strengthen your insides and keep the, I think that's the science on it. and Yeah. Keep the parasites at bay.
00:18:11
Speaker
um It actually- You don't want tingivitis in your kidneys. so The fluoride in the toothpaste. I thought you're like getting the the stuff off your teeth, but then you're swallowing it, so you're eating it? Is that the- Yeah. Yeah. I want to kill the tartar all the way through my system. Put it down out into the stomach acid, that'll get it. What better way to just eliminate it from existence? I had to go- So I hadn't been- I'm not very good about going to the dentist. And I went- This was the first time I'd been in three years.
00:18:42
Speaker
And I think I and went like three years the last time before I get, I'm not like afraid to go or anything. I just, it's annoying. And they always book so far out, like they book like months in advance. So it's like, you got to schedule it four months away. And I don't know what I'm going to be. I don't know what I'm going to be doing next week, you yeah but like.
00:19:03
Speaker
I sat down and then she's going through taught looking at everything and I was expecting like bad news. It turned out everything's fine. Diet Coke's not actually bad for you, Sam lied to me. She's like, look at it. She's like, is there any problems going on? And I was like, well, I got some like, I got some like jagged spots like here and there, you know, if you could say she's like, okay. So she's looking at it. She goes, do you grind your teeth?
00:19:31
Speaker
It's like, I don't know. i don't I love that question. Nobody knows because it happens in your sleep. Well, yeah like I do it during the day like when I'm at work. I don't do it at night because I sleep with my mouth open. You're like the Arnold meme, like but yeah but with your face.
00:19:49
Speaker
Yeah, it's like the bald fist. Yeah, dan you like so you at you sit and actively grind your what I think it's more just it's more like a clinch than a grind but like if you're constantly doing it, it's it's not great Yeah, I honestly I think that's what I'm doing too Like I don't think I'm doing it at night because I feel like I sleep with my mouth open and make gargling noises all evening and Yeah, that's me. That's how you know, I'm asleep. You can hear it. It's April's problem.
00:20:18
Speaker
um She's like, yeah, you know, you've got some signs of, uh, of where, you know, your, your teeth are kind of a little rounded in certain spots and stuff. And I was like, she's like, you know, we can, we can talk about solutions to that. Like later on, I was like, well, can you just sharpen them for me? She's like, you what? I was like, can you sharpen them? She's like,
00:20:43
Speaker
No, no, we we don't, we don't sharpen them. when i like You should, you should really think about like a sharpening service. you said like come out they look a like shark a like You make it straight specific and market it like, think about if you were like an electrician and they could like,
00:21:04
Speaker
sharpen a little notch in your front tooth so you could just strip wires.
00:21:12
Speaker
is like you could You could sell it to teachers, like you know if you could just like put a pencil between your molars and put a nice point on it. ah good like I don't think she could really, she couldn't tell if I was joking or not. No, she thought you were the dumb i think she thought you were the dumbest person she's ever met.
00:21:31
Speaker
yeah She's like, well, how often do you floss? And I'm like, I only floss if there's a problem. She's like, what do you mean? I'm like, i my mouth is kind of like a like ah the drain in my shower. Like, until there's a big wad of hair clogging it up, I don't mess with it.
00:21:51
Speaker
I'm just going to put a note in my file that I have to see a different hygienic.
00:22:01
Speaker
She thought you were the weirdest patient she's ever had. There's no way she's ever thing. yeah I don't know how you can do that. I would i would make one, i'd I'd crack one little joke and if they were like, huh, I'd be like, nevermind. And I'd be silent for the rest of the time. i'm not I'm not going down like an idiot. I don't want this person to think I'm super dumb. Yeah, if one joke didn't land, none of them none of them will. I don't even want to try. it yeah I just give up. i had My last job when I worked,
00:22:33
Speaker
for uh the retail company uh my boss was one of those people who just didn't who just didn't get joked like i don't but i don't think she had a sense of humor like and her sense of humor was God, it was awful. like the this stuff that like I would say stuff that wasn't even trying to be a joke. I wasn't trying to be particularly funny. It was like throw away shit and she would crack up, crack up. Like, oh my God. Like it was the funniest fucking thing he's ever heard. I'm sitting there a little confused. ah because i I don't really know what li i don't know why it was funny to her, but then anytime I tried to make a joke, she just took it very seriously and was just like, that's not how
Workplace Challenges and Humor
00:23:17
Speaker
that works.
00:23:17
Speaker
and you're like God damn it. I look like an idiot again. Like, and I worked for her for like five or six years. And throughout the entire time, I just didn't learn. I'm like, she has to know me. I always just felt like she had to know me well enough now to finally know that I was joking about something and it never worked. And it was so- I remember you loved her. Oh my God. It was so embarrassing. I remember some like off air conversations where you were very upset.
00:23:48
Speaker
There were a lot of off-air costs. She made me, actually, i I do need to thank her ah because she did, if it wasn't for her, I would not have rethought my entire life's trajectory and went back to school and pursued an entirely separate career. That was the complete opposite of what I was doing. You wouldn't be the the the top ju juvenile SSRI salesman in in the state of Massachusetts. It weren't for her. Exactly.
00:24:18
Speaker
Yeah. i Well, so there's people who don't get jokes, which is one thing. That's fine. Like I can deal with that and you kind of learn to just work around them to some extent or whatever. I don't, like it makes me very angry when I get the feeling that people are like purposely like misconstruing what you're saying as like some sort of dominance move. Yeah. Do that is makes me mad.
00:24:43
Speaker
I hate it. It's not only taking in it's not only like make it's not just hit it's not just you like it's not just to like her to for someone to like do that to you in a public setting it also is like you know the other people around know what's going on and that person has used that style as a way to like make everybody kind of just not bother with them, which is obviously mistaken as a feeling of dominance. They're like, I controlled that room. It's like, no, everyone's afraid that you're just going to make them feel like shit every time they talk. And that's not I mean, it is a form of dominance, but it's not a productive one. It's not it's not like that's my boss. I should be careful what I say. It's like, that's that asshole. Let's just let them have the room.
00:25:37
Speaker
And it's super annoying because it's like you really everyone should just publicly denigrate those people. I think it needs to be like a pact all around that you're going to your intent is to make them want to quit. You just hurt them so much. Yeah, it's ah it's like it's like the same. It's cut from the same cloth as people who like like bosses who occasionally like periodically get like really granular detail level on something just to like show that they're watching and they're engaged. you know Many of my complaints about my previous boss were that. Such an annoying thing. It was constant. like
00:26:20
Speaker
Hey, can you put together a presentation or whatever? Collect X, Y, and Z data and bring it to the next meeting. Yep. Got it. And I ended up getting just lambasted over the format. And it's like, are we ever going to talk about the information? She's like, well, I would, I can't even, it's hard to really follow the information with the way that you organized it. What if we organized it like this? I go, that's fine.
00:26:45
Speaker
i'll i'll bring it to our meeting tomorrow like that and then you organize it like that and she forgot because she's so she was just so awful all the time and she didn't even know she was doing it because she had such a chip on her shoulder it was just like impulsive as kind so then i so then i bring it to the next meeting formatted the way she wanted it and she goes why does it look like this I was like you're trying to make me you're trying to make me kill myself in front of you are you like that's what you want you want to you want to watch me die and know that you did it but have plausible die that's what you want and i'm like this is what you asked for she's like i don't i don't recall i was like well this is what i had yesterday and it's like
00:27:28
Speaker
No, that that let that looks like it makes sense. I was like, but you asked me to do it. like this She goes, well, no, I know. i Then she like flips. She's like, pretend, oh, no, I know. ah i I just wanted to see, it side by side, to see which one was like was made things easier. like This is the dumbest thing I've ever been. Who did you?
00:27:46
Speaker
should i and that was i mean That was weekly. That was weekly. for five years I was just like I I need I have to I'm stuck here for the rest of my like this I'm there's no going anywhere else I know if I leave for another corporate retail job I'm gonna be working for the same kind of crazy that's the only crazy that lives up here I think I don't yeah I don't think it changes ah so I that's why so thank you thank you Megan whatever I don't give a shit thank you Megan
00:28:20
Speaker
for helping me pick a new career path. Dude, you ever had any bad bosses? ah Yeah, I've never had any that were like so miserable that, you know, just like unbearable. But I've gone through quite a few at my current job because it's not an easy job. ah Some of them are are worse than others, but um nothing, nothing that really is like standing out as like horrible.
00:28:48
Speaker
But you've gone through a few. Is there a position of authority there that cycles through people quickly? ah Well, so my territory manager has rotated constantly.
00:29:02
Speaker
It hasn't been a position they can fill or keep full. Oh, Casey understands what that's like. Yeah. Mine are full now. Finally. Life on easy street. Now you have time to put drops into the soundboard. Yeah.
00:29:19
Speaker
Uh, you know what I was thinking about the other day is like,
Embarrassing Memories
00:29:23
Speaker
okay. And here's, this is a, this is a fun question that is also terrible. Okay. Think of a time where you said that like long time ago, where you said something that still like embarrasses you today to think about.
00:29:44
Speaker
Mine is not even a fun one, but my light is not mine mine is not good. good.
00:29:55
Speaker
So we had, uh, our basketball coach back in the day, uh, was a very intense guy and he had, uh, his son was like, he's a super sharp kid. I think very talented athlete and stuff like that. But when he was young, he was like real slow to, he just, he, he had some like linguistic problems. Like, so he was kind of slow to learn to, to articulate words and speak well and stuff like that.
00:30:25
Speaker
I mean, not anything crazy or anything, but you know, he was getting up there, you know, four or five, something like that. And he was still like struggling to talk a little bit. And I remember being in like junior high or something. And I don't, I think I just hit it, hit him with it, like out of the blue. But I was like, when do you think your son is going to learn to talk well?
00:30:51
Speaker
oh
00:30:55
Speaker
And if he would have just like, like, so like center punched me in the chest and knocked me into a closet and just left me there, like that would have been understandable. Like, I'm sure he was just like filled with rage that I would ask that question, just like a stupid little fat kid, like asking him this super personal question about his son, you know, and but I was thinking about it. I'm like, oh, boy, I hope he doesn't remember that. That's terrible.
00:31:24
Speaker
ah he He remembers. ah Probably. Jesse, you got one that you're going to share. It's I can't think of one, maybe just because I'm trying to. But and maybe I'm also just not self aware of how dumb I am. I don't know that. Well, maybe like, you know, one of those dates where you took your penis out without asking first way. I'm not I'm not supposed to do that.
00:31:54
Speaker
I think it's a state laws thing. So I don't know what Arizona is like. State laws. If you can, if scrolling through your phone, you can't go back an entire week without finding your most, like without finding a dick pic that you sent to somebody without getting a reply. That's probably falls into that category. might um I'll share mine for the sake of fucking transparency, but it's a nightmare. And I want to, I think about it too much.
00:32:23
Speaker
and't don't say the word ah in fact and the horrible regret that I have and it was an accident entirely ah but I was at a friend's wedding and I was talking to this kid he was a black kid and he went uh he went to like harvard har he went to a really good school Yale I think he was at Yale and he made a joke about like, you know, it was some it was just like a joke about getting in because basically because he was black. Like, you know, I'm sure other people were smarter than me, but they have to keep their diversity quota up or something like that. It was just a little joke. And I was drunk ah because I was at a wedding and it was open bar. And the first thing it made me think of was when I lived in Boston, my roommate, one of my roommates, one of the couple who lived with Jill and I,
00:33:13
Speaker
um the guy was uh not was is mexican and he went to harvard and he would make the same he would make the same joke like that i got into and he was smart as fuck like it wasn't true like he was a smart guy who deserved to be there um And he would be like it just he would make a joke about being helped it helping that he was Mexican ever I just being a drunk idiot at the time was just like Yeah, like like didn't so explain anything, right? There was no reason to talk about it at all but just made a joke made the point about my roommate being Mexican and went to Harvard and He may he would say it was like a diversity
00:33:55
Speaker
thing whatever and I just jumbled it so bad that I'll just never forget like the look of like this isn't even a microaggression dude he's just like I hate you like I hate you I don't like you it's so nice about like I you just it was like an after the it was like the next day hangover thought you're like no fucking way did I did I do that shit oh my god I was and yes i'm i'm pain I'm in pain right now talking about it. It's the worst conversation I've probably still ever had in my life. Because I just know what he thought. I told my friend ah who was there, like the the guy who's wedding it was, I told him years later, I was like, I don't know if you're still friends with these people that were all at your wedding, but one of them,
00:34:45
Speaker
I had a whore. I think I ruined their night, possibly. I don't know. They might not think about it at all anymore, that but God, i my face is hot talking about it. it's just it felt It was so mortifying for me to realize how hard I microagressed. You just followed it up with like, man, have you seen the stats about white birth rate? It's alarming.
00:35:13
Speaker
It's a passive genocide. Go down that rabbit hole. let's No, I have nothing but, oh God, nothing but, regret i've I even, I'm like, even now I'm thinking about people thinking about me talking about this. I hate it. I hate it, but it's out there now. So I'm sorry. that' I'm so glad I made you uncomfortable.
00:35:37
Speaker
Yeah, but as soon as you as soon as you started your sentence without finishing it, even knowing that it could have after I had said I know what mine is and it's bad. I realized that you hadn't even fully stated where you were going. I just that's how quick like that one just sits very high up in my chest where I go.
00:35:59
Speaker
ah i When you talk about things you said you regret, that is just above me telling my one of my old bosses by accidentally texting him instead of the person that was across the table from me, that he was like a silver spoon nepo piece of shit.
00:36:18
Speaker
yeah
00:36:22
Speaker
move That was yeah was mortifying. I thought I was going to get fired. You're like, was this a joke? who the That was the when I was at Liberty. It's fun. We're all having fun. we were a multi right We were all talking about what kind of cars we'd want someday when we weren't making $7.50 an hour. And our boss was like a few years older than all of us. And he was like, yeah, for my next car, I'd like. And then he just gets really detailed about it.
00:36:54
Speaker
The car he drove was like, it was just like his dad's car and he used his dad's company card for gas. Like he didn't, he just didn't pay for anything. And so I was like, when he came out and said that I was trying to text my friend and I guess I looked up my boss's name by mistake because that's who I was like texting about.
00:37:15
Speaker
And I was like, yeah, by my next car, he means the next car my dad buys. So I just went off, dude. it was like so It was like a fucking paragraph of how much of a fucking loser I thought he was.
00:37:28
Speaker
um god that
00:37:33
Speaker
theyre fired He i I looked and I was like fuck I I saw and I tried to do unsend that was back with like I had a flip phone it was like t9 Text shit. and I'm like trip trying to hit the unsend so then like I kept sending text to the my friend and hitting unsend and 50% of them got through and 50% didn't and I'm like Ah, shit. I don't know. But my boss walked out with, like, the reddest fucking fakes of all time. Ooh. And came back, like, an hour later. Didn't say shit to me. It never came up. I think he was so embarrassed that, like, I was, I mean, I was right. what I was like, do you have dreadlocks at the time? Maybe. That makes it so much worse. yeah
00:38:21
Speaker
yeah Now, another text he received by accident. Oh, this guy was, he got him. I worked with this girl who had a gay best friend and they would jokingly sext each other. And she accidentally texted our boss, I want you to come on my tits. And she meant to send that to her gay best friend in response to something else that he had said. And that was one of the best days of my life. i
00:38:57
Speaker
i I mean, the vivid memory I have of how she was like, I don't know what to do. She ended up playing, she ended up saying that like someone had her phone and sent that as a joke, like to make, to embarrass her. Like the story she told was asinine and you know he knows it was asinine. And he was like, no, I totally get it. Like, yeah, that's messed up. he bought He just went with it. He's like, I just, I don't want to have to deal with this.
00:39:23
Speaker
Oh, yeah, absolutely not. I would get our nightmare. Yeah, I would. Which I get. He I'll give it to him for playing that one off like no big deal. But also, maybe he's just kind of a wuss because he never he apparently we were texting him shit. We weren't supposed to text him all the time. He just always buried his head in the sand.
00:39:49
Speaker
Oh, man. You got one or? you I know. Dude, I've been kind of taking one this whole time. I got nothing. Well, good for you. That's great. That's crazy, man. So I'm really good at not saying anything, and then I just run my mouth when I'm by myself. Just have, like, angry, like, self-conversations in the corner afterwards. Well, I do it all the time.
00:40:12
Speaker
Like when I'm in my truck driving at work, I'm just like driving around screaming. Just like yelling out the window. It's yeah. I feel like I've heard you do that a couple of times. It's pretty funny.
00:40:26
Speaker
but nothing feels weirder than when people catch you doing that too have you ever been like do people ever over end up over when you realize people can hear you like i remember getting angry about something in unreal and like this fucking piece of fuck this fucking bullshit you do that whole thing like you're not even making a lot of sense and then i i'm like packing my car i'm pissed about some shit before we go on vacation and then I realized like the window above me is open and my entire family can probably hear me. Yeah, I think I have done that a few times.
00:41:00
Speaker
ah You know, just like blowed off like, oh, and I was talking about something else, not you. Dude, a recent like embarrassing thing that I did this was maybe two years ago, but I don't want to ah Nobody, nobody will nobody willll know this. yeah this is like high at winner Well, this is the gang talks about embarrassing things that happened to him. episode Apparently. Yeah, maybe so. Well, there's a there's a guy at work, older guy, and um I sent a text. So when Steve Bannon got arrested.
00:41:38
Speaker
You know, and there was those photos out of him, like in cuffs being put in a cop car or whatever. So I sent a text to this guy and I copied two other people. yeah I thought we were all like, like, I thought everybody would be cool. Like it would be a funny thing. I thought, I just thought it would be funny and everybody would laugh and it would be fun. It was like a fun little like poking at each other or something. But I made a joke about, I posted, I posted a photo of Steve Bannon and cuffs and just said like, Hey man, you know, mentioned him by name on like, just wanted to tell you how shocked we are. And, you know, we'd love to send you a care package if you can send us the, you know, your address when you get to your cell or whatever. And he, he texted back to the group funny. And I didn't really think anything of it. I was like, okay, whatever, you know,
00:42:36
Speaker
And look, he undeniably looks like him in this. It's it hits the haircut, it's the you know, all white guys all look the same, especially if they have like a certain haircut. And so later on, I mean like 12 hours later, I'm sitting at home, um I'm just hanging out and stuff, and I get this text from him, just him.
00:43:02
Speaker
And it's like, dressing me down. And he had been thinking, I mean, how many hours later he had been thinking about this text for hours, dude, ruminating. Dude, that was the worst part is like knowing that like, he said, he just, you know, like, like I said, it's like 12 hours later, and it's like, you know, um about your message today, I do not appreciate your sense of humor, and I would have i I did not think that was funny. I would kindly appreciate it if you would keep your communications with me professional and... blah blah blah I mean he went after me and I just dude I felt like I I've I seriously I got it like a lump in my throat like I was gonna cry it was like so embarrassed and just like cuz I feel like you you just like I Like I but good thought thought you knew like yeah da da she you Who i we I was just joking I wasn't trying to like make any sort of like disparaging things about and it's
00:44:02
Speaker
the The joke is just that he looked like him. That was it. You know, and but like that really rubbed him the wrong way. And like, it was just so uncomfortable. I was just like, Oh my God. So I wrote this like long apology and sent it to him. And then we've never said a thing about it again. Just like, but then it, then you kind of, from there on, you're like, okay. Uh, shake your hand. Hey, how was, how are you doing? How's your wife? That's it.
00:44:33
Speaker
Like, never any more than that. It's like, okay, well, I don't know where your lines are, so i' we can't be friends on that level, I guess, now, you know? Because I'm not doing that again. That was awful. Yeah, I'm not kidding. That feels like an I think you should leave sketch. That's all I can see in here. <unk>s just That's not the joke. The joke is just that you look like him. It's like all I can hear.
00:45:04
Speaker
Thank God, you didn't know me 10 years ago. That was a real piece of garbage. Oh my God. So? Oh, go ahead. No, I just am picturing him thinking about it.
00:45:19
Speaker
he probably like wrote out a text and didn't send it right away. And it was like, no, this is like that that crossed such a line. like this it's It is so important for me to make clear that I didn't think that was funny.
00:45:36
Speaker
to to think like you think about that for a long time you write it out and then he probably deliberated before sending it like it is pretty looking at that for 12 hours and every type it what do I say he rewrote it count like seven times so he was like I needed to be professional And, but I needed to not, I needed to be stern, but if it crosses a line, like I need to be able to cover myself if I have to make this an HR issue.
Humor Dynamics in the Workplace
00:46:03
Speaker
Like, cause if he comes and says another joke later, I need to have, I need to have clear, concise, professional documentation that I said the thing. Cause I can't handle jokes. like I don't, I don't want jokes like that in my life.
00:46:18
Speaker
And so, I mean, this was a, such a big deal to him instead of just being like, and honestly, how much worse would it have been if, if him and no one else in the group text ever said anything or acknowledged it, would you have got in your head about that? Would you've been like, fuck, I crossed the line. They don't think it's funny. No one knows what to say. It's going to be so weird. Next time I see, I don't think I would have, I would have just thought like,
00:46:42
Speaker
Oh, okay. I thought it was funny. I wouldn't i never would have guessed that that it would have been that offensive, dude. And it's like, I think it must have come across as like I was trying to humiliate him in front of other people. Well, how would you feel if you looked like Steve Bannon? That's fair. That's a fair point. I guess I'd be bitter. I don't know.
00:47:04
Speaker
But it's like, it's also a person that like, he kind of likes to tease you, you know, it's always like very, you know, surface level, like old guy, old guy ribbing. Yeah. It's that sort of thing. But like, I don't know, you know, that's like, you're like, okay, I totally misunderstood the boundaries of our ah relationship, I guess so. Okay, well, my bad. I love that story so much.
00:47:34
Speaker
She's like, fine. You don't want to be my friend. I see how it is. That's how I feel. I feel like that would, like, when somebody pulls it, when somebody does something like that, I just like, I just feel like I wall them off. It's like smile, nod, shake hands, but like, that's it. Like, it's kind of a, uh, it's almost sort of a trust thing at some point where you're like, I can't, I don't trust that that.
00:48:02
Speaker
you're going to react to something in a normal way. and like It's such a trust thing. I mean, i working in a school like with some of the colleagues that I have, I'm like, I want to make jokes. And I'm like, I don't know that that I don't know that I can do it. And you keep it in. But there are other people I work with where I'm like,
00:48:24
Speaker
where you you take that risk that they'll understand that it's a joke and they'll laugh and you you like when you when you cross certain lines for joke telling in certain set like every setting has its own lines for joke telling and it's like it it It's kind of a rush a little bit where you're like, I'm going for it. like And you say the thing and you're like, oh my God. like And then when it's received well, you're like, oh, you're a safe person. I have like a couple of people at work where I'm like, I know that you're just a safe person to make whatever joke with. And that even if it misses, you'll know that my attempt wasn't my intent wasn't anything other than making the joke.
00:49:08
Speaker
and making people laugh. And if I fucked it up, then you just move on. Like there's two people, two and a half people at work where you're like, okay. But when you discover that, when you cross that first line, you just go, oh, it's like a calm washes over you. You're like, we might even be able to be friends outside of work.
00:49:33
Speaker
Yep. I work in kind of a different environment where it's more like everyone is in a locker room. oh Which is actually horrible. Oh yeah, no, it's bad. Because that kind of humor is like middle school degenerate humor. Like it's not, it's so unsophisticated. And look, where' none of us are comic geniuses, of course. Oh no, I'm an idiot.
00:50:00
Speaker
but like that you know when there's you know when people's idea of funny is beneath you and it's so painful to suffer yeah oh yeah it's uh like uh it's like just toilet humor we're just like okay yeah okay your jokes are great can i go now it's like in middle school gay jokes oh you want to suck his cock you're like yeah yep i said he looked nice today shut the fuck up Dude, I was watching a video. Yeah, whip it out, bro.
00:50:33
Speaker
Speaking of which, I was watching a video the other day. Ah, God, who was it? Oh, I think it was too lazy to try. But he was talking about ah Howard Stern and like his career and rise and fall sort of thing.
00:50:50
Speaker
And Howard Stern is super lame. Like, oh yeah he, he sucked pretty bad. Like, and he was kind of like the bad boy radio, you know, and like, they should there was a clip that he showed from like the MTV music video awards or whatever in the nineties.
00:51:10
Speaker
and howard stern's big gag was he came out dressed as like a superhero with like uh fake muscles and stuff and he called himself fart man and he basically just made fart noises into the microphone and that was like the gag i was like god that sucks that's like uh That feels more like Tom Green, honestly. like That feels like circa Tom Green, where like his comedy blew up for some reason, and everyone was like, we should do more fart and butt stuff. Yeah.
00:51:46
Speaker
I also did some blackface back in the day. Did he? Holy shit. Wait, who is this? Howard Stern. I just remember hearing that. He's done a lot of things that suck and now he's kind of like typical, like boomer Neolib. Yeah. Bill Maher type liberal. Yeah. It's like a real transitional phase of annoying.
00:52:07
Speaker
I remember the only thing I don't know his I know his career history just from hearing about it but I mean like I didn't listen to it on the radio it was before me when the only Howard Stern I had any familiarity with was his radio show was aired on a network Right. I forget which one it was. I just know that I had I would sleep over a friend's house. eat Right. It was. Yes, it was E. Yeah, like the video. Yeah, it was video on E. But then I think he he was also on like ah what's the what's the i like runs with on star. What's the the select satellite radio sex and that's where he ran on that, too.
00:52:55
Speaker
OK, but when he when his radio show was aired, um that's like the original you like. It's so funny because we went from like radio to podcast to podcast going up to YouTube to people. not Now it's just YouTube, essentially. Yeah, it's the same thing as what watching a podcast now is that's the exact same. thing Yeah. And so that was like, cool. That's early as shit and people are doing it.
Howard Stern's Controversial Persona
00:53:20
Speaker
But I just remember watching it as like a 12 year old.
00:53:24
Speaker
13 year old and he would have like porn stars on his yeah radio show. and be like and He would just be like He would just I hated it like I was just trying to be horny in 13 Yeah, should have muted it just cranked hog to it can be like completely muted but and like didn't You're just like you're just like you're you're like getting into it you and your banana noise i mean it is it's ah It's a roller coaster ride of just like like soft to hard, soft to hard, soft to hard. When you're just listening to him and you're like, oh yeah, that that woman just...
00:54:05
Speaker
that woman just took off her top and they censor the boobs right away. But you see like a good bit of boob before the censor kicks in. And then the censor covers the entire upper torso. flesh color Yeah, they went so hard with the censor bar. But then you're like, but then you just hear him go, hmm. Yeah. take m Oh yeah. Those are nice boobs. no nice bret Take off your panties. And you're like, I hate this. I can't be horny to this.
00:54:34
Speaker
John powered. You're ruining this shit, dude. I think for the longest time, the only thing I knew about him was like he had made that movie that I never saw it. So I don't even know what it was, but I'm pretty sure it was just his show. It was like his autobiography, basically. Oh, yeah. Was he naked with his curly ass hair out? And he's like, yeah, City Empire, yeah Empire State Billings in front of him or something. Yeah.
Cryptocurrency Scandal Overview
00:55:00
Speaker
Just hangin' dong over the Twin Towers. yeah yeah It aged well. Come get this, Okada. That and Spider-Man. Yeah, right.
00:55:13
Speaker
oh So, fellas. We gotta catch up with are our ah our buddy and and several time podcast subject, e Eli and Caitlin Regalado. And if if you don't remember them, this is the crypto pastor from Denver that scammed his online congregants out of like $3 million. dollars It was a big story at the beginning of the year and it was, it was super funny and very typical and you know, it's kind of sad in a way, but at the same time, it's like, crown you know.
00:55:54
Speaker
It's hard for me to feel sorry for people who lost money on crypto because I am one of them. I'm like, well, you know, I did it too. so call It's not like you have to be stupid to get scammed. And the irony is that like when someone makes a bunch of money off of something like this, it gets noticed, but like around the world,
00:56:18
Speaker
there's millions of people just dropping cash and offering plate fully sustaining some blow hards career. It's like, oh, yeah, it's happening everywhere. It just so happened that enough people in one place happen to give at a certain time to a certain person. It's the same shit. It just got one person richer than the others. Pretty much. Well, the story behind this was that This Eli Regulato kind of headed up this. It was a Christian cryptocurrency marketplace and coin. It was like Kingdom Kingdom investments or something like that. And it was all built around this like, you know, we're going to have a kingdom focused investment group that's designed to help believers grow their wealth while supporting, you know, godly things and stuff like that.
00:57:14
Speaker
And index coin was the native currency use the blockchain to get rid of your sins Pretty much. Yeah, that's kind of the whole thing but like uh, so the the idea behind index coin Was that it was it was supposed to be valued like an index fund basically where his idea was like there's a lot of unstable assets in cryptocurrency, like there's a lot of these coins that bounce up and down in value. So index coin is the value of index coin is going to be the directly related to the amount of love from God that you receive. True. But like your the value is based off of like the index of the top 100 cryptocurrencies at any given time.
00:58:09
Speaker
Which is a fancy way of saying that they had like a, a, a, a five figure math problem. And they would say, this is what it's worth today. But there was nothing backing it up. There was no like.
00:58:23
Speaker
Plateral there was nothing really there there. It's basically the crypto equivalent of evangelicalism boy Was this like this was this even like listed on any type of like purchasing? No, anything you had to go through his his marketplace to buy it It's just like a link on the church website And pretty much yeah And he so he doesn't have a physical building for his church. It's an online congregation so I don't know how what kind of shut-ins and stuff he was able to get into that but basically like He's sold this as like, you know Hey The economy is eventually gonna collapse and the dollar is gonna not be the reserve currency anymore and when that happens, you know, I cryptocurrency is going to be what the world turns to for stability and stuff. And index coin is going to be, you know, the crypto coin chosen by God to deliver his people. It's a financial arc, you know, in a sea of and so of financial uncertainty. It's not like that. We're recording all of these transactions on the ledger, but you know what's not getting written down, brother, is your sins.
00:59:43
Speaker
okay And there was a lot of things that were involved in it. like He had a pretty good little like scam written out where it was like, you know this is ah this is a utility coin and it's going to be used to trade, you know to to buy and sell you know goods and services between believers on our exclusive marketplace. And you know you're going to have access to all these classes on like wealth management and this and that and the other. It is all just a crock.
01:00:11
Speaker
And as he sold his followers, these, you know, fake assets, basically like he was more or less just like squeezing money out of the company. It's, it's like so many of these and and Jesse and I know because we fell victim to one expert losers. We're expert losers. Yeah.
01:00:32
Speaker
We can only look down and sneer at these people so much because we also did it. It just wasn't spiritual in any way. yeah Jesse, are are you comfortable disclosing how much you've lost? no No. Definitely not comfortable doing it. Also not comfortable with the amount that I've lost myself. so That gives you any idea.
01:00:51
Speaker
but now was Did Casey drag you into it or did you lose it independently on your own? um I plead the fifth on that one. This was a urine-filled milkshake that we we had two straws into. yeah It tasted good at first until you realized what it was.
01:01:19
Speaker
yeah like oh it's It's kind of tangy. it's this This is me.
01:01:29
Speaker
so ah Eli and his wife spent a lot of the money that came into ah Kingdom Investments or whatever. and basically as people started to like ask questions and things weren't working on the site and stuff like that, you know, some people it's all of this is built on like ah a, you know, like a, there's got to be an atmosphere of trust there that like, Hey, if something happens, I can get my money out. And the minute that rumor starts to spread that that's not the case, it all tumbles really quickly. And that's kind of what happened to him. But if you guys remember, uh,
01:02:08
Speaker
When this all went down, you know, it seemed like he and his wife, they were not, they were not apologetic really for it, but they were, they, they obviously, they thought that like being forthright about some of the details was the way to get themselves out of trouble because like he put out a video where he basically cop to like the the worst of the, of the accusations, you know, like.
01:02:36
Speaker
You know, there's a lot of rumors going around that my wife and I spent all this money and, you know, we, we did, but here's why God told us to, you know, yeah God promised he'd give us our r ROI. Yeah. I think specifically he had said that God told us to start remodeling our house.
01:02:57
Speaker
I think I remember you saying that when we were talking about this before. He spent like $250,000 on remodeling his house. The story is so funny because like he's clearly had a lot of meetings with his public defenders since back at the beginning of the year when he was like, you know, repentant and asking forgiveness. and you know trying to ah trying to cope with you know his public image and stuff through all of it. He's he's singing a different tune now. right He's had time to really sculpt ah an alibi for himself and he's he's come out swinging last month in a couple of different videos that he posted.
01:03:44
Speaker
Um, he said yes, as far as I know now, now Caitlin was not in any of the videos, but as far as I know, they're still together. I feel like a.
01:03:56
Speaker
a prime tactic would be to like try to turn them against each other, right? Like, listen, we know your husband was the mastermind behind all of this. If you don't want to rot in prison for the next 17 years, just tell us what we want to know. You walk away, scot-free, immunity. That is exactly what I tried to do. I sent Kaitlyn several emails being like, Kaitlyn, I know you would. I know you wouldn't do this. I know this is all him.
01:04:25
Speaker
Come on, come share your story. Let's get your side of the story out. Come on our podcast. Did you actually reach out to her? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It didn't work. I didn't get anything back. I posted a lot of social media stuff to me and like, Caitlin, please reach out. Don't let this guy drag you down with him. Oh, my God. Oh, that's so good.
01:04:50
Speaker
So ah well let's let's just get into some some clips from his his his video where he's he basically comes out swinging trying to dispel some of the lies that the ah the Colorado Securities Commissioner is ah it's accusing him of. okay So here's here's number one.
01:05:11
Speaker
So first and foremost, one of the lies is that Caitlin and I spent all of the money on ourselves that we never gave to any charity. Like we said, we're going to do. We didn't support any orphans or widows. We didn't support any orphans. um You know, wet we didn't do anything. We just basically bought a range over those four years old. We bought a luxury handbag, which we were doing that before we even did index coin. OK, my wife likes nice things. Sorry, that that obtains you. Sorry.
01:05:38
Speaker
Okay. So we, we have nice things. We enjoy nice things. We had all this before index coin and we were doing it even during index coins. So, uh, Hey, Caitlin likes an ice bag. Okay. yeah Super don't, don't actually sewer though. So compare that to his statement from his video earlier this year, his like mea culpa video, uh, quote, let's talk about the 800 pound gorilla.
01:06:06
Speaker
the allegation that Caitlin and I spent 1.3 million. We did, Regalado said with a short laugh during an interview, July 8th. I had to give 500,000 to the IRS for some tax debts. Then the Lord said to start remodeling our house. Oh my God. Like that, that's the most, I don't, what? I'll just justify anything I do by just saying the Lord said first. Like I thought- You placed that card so hard. ah Yeah.
01:06:38
Speaker
Oh my God. it it's It's hard to grapple with that level of stupidity. like you know I think what's even more aggravating about it is I don't know what his income has looked like since that admission. I'd imagine it's plummeted. I would like to believe that the people who are willing to give money are aren't silly enough to be like, I should keep giving to the person who said, and then the Lord said to remodel your home.
01:07:06
Speaker
Like are people giving to him still? Do we have a net worth for this guy? Do we know where he's at financially? I don't know. i don't know so I think that the ship has kind of sailed with his congregation here in the States. There might be a couple morons that are still willing to cut him a check. But if you remember, after he was you know indicted or whatever earlier this year and had to make that video and stuff like that, he he attended at several
01:07:39
Speaker
Evangelical conferences in Africa where he preached about like financial stewardship So I this why do all these white people go to Africa to just sell their weird shit like that happened like there was that guy who went and Like really sold all like the hardcore anti-gay shit and even ended up helping, you know uh certain countries in africa get like uh structure laws like more harsh laws around being gay like evangelical white guys who can't get their message across in the u.s like they they just are like oh well no one will listen to me where i'm i'm just gonna take it anywhere else and i'm gonna take it to a place where the people who see me assume that i have like money and favor or some shit like
01:08:32
Speaker
Yeah, he has a heart for missions. Sue it. It's so frustrating. Don't sue him now.
Eli Regalado's Continued Influence
01:08:39
Speaker
Yeah. Uh, they blew some, they blew some cash because I mean, he took, he took $1.3 million dollars out of the business just to himself. Right. And like he keeps con, he keeps complaining about the fact that he had to give the IRS like $500,000. And it's almost like, I, it's almost like he didn't understand that if he pulled those assets out of the company, he would have to pay taxes on them.
01:09:07
Speaker
You know, and so I, I don't know. Dude, the guy is such a scumbag. It's almost like he didn't know. I think he just didn't. I think he didn't do enough research into get rich quick shit. Oh, well, he didn't seem like he didn't do any research at all. He literally didn't use two videos. I was like, I could do this. Like God, God told me to remodel my kitchen and not pay taxes.
01:09:32
Speaker
I remember the original story, they talked about how much they spent on original artwork and stuff like that for their remodel. It's crazy. It's a crazy amount. I was going to say, what are you doing to your house that's costing you $250,000 to renovate it?
01:09:55
Speaker
I have no clue. Are you building a house on top of your house? is say I did see some ah picture or like there was some videos that he posted from inside the house and it does look like a it does look like a person with bad taste hired the designer from like Hampton Inn to come in and take their cash and just, you know, make it like the world's crappiest pottery barn. He hired Hildy from Trading Spaces.
01:10:23
Speaker
yeah is yeah he I need a celebion a celebrity to do this. I used to watch trading spaces with my mom in high school and i don't I feel like this is explaining the joke, but I feel like I have to go here because I think it might've not been Hildy. I think it was Hildy. I think that was her name. She did this whole theme where she like glued hay. Hey, hey, like the shit that animals eat. She glued a bunch of that shit to the walls and the family came back into their space. And they have you go in, you close your eyes and it's like, all right, now open them. And she immediately started crying.
01:11:11
Speaker
Oh, it's so funny when they hear the review. She cried. She was like, what is this? This is hideous. Like she just cried her fucking eyes out. And I'm like, you should be, you should be taken out back and shot. She's like, and they're going to get sued because the kid got hay fever.
01:11:31
Speaker
yeah
01:11:33
Speaker
but it was oh god trading spaces was fun i love that i used to watch ah i in high school i watched hundreds of episodes of csi with my mom in trading spaces that's what i feel like that's when like i feel like that was our like our connecting moments we didn't we didn't talk about a lot of shit i wasn't like an open book, but me and my mom, we watch. Oh, and Monk, Monk with Tony Shalhoub, that show fucking ripped. We would watch Monk. We would watch CSI, all of them. Miami, regular New York, all the CSIs. And we would watch Trading Spaces. what What's what was the clothing one on e that where they would like give you a a clothing makeover? It was like the dark haired lady and the tall, like, yeah, tall handsome gay dude.
01:12:24
Speaker
Oh my god, I don't remember the name of it, but i I would catch episodes of that here and there. That was one of those ones where like, this is dumb. And if you watch the first 10 minutes, you're like, well, I have to finish it. I have to see if this person looks good later. I love when they would go through their closet and it was like kind of like a flashy single dude that thought he was cool. And they'd pull out and like, like, why do you own a blue leather blazer?
01:12:49
Speaker
It's like that's custom made that was $5,000 and they're like it's going in the carpet We liked the ones like my mom and I with what my mom would be like I like these ones because And it was all just the ones where they would like, give you a haircut, teach you how to do your makeup and give you a nice wardrobe. And you would watch some people be like, go from frumpy to, to humpy. I don't know. Is that a thing? I gotta, I gotta know what this show is. There was the one, there was that one show where they would actually go all out. They're like, we're going to give you a new wardrobe, fake tits, plastic surgery. They would do everything. They'd come back like a whole different person. Like they come into their family and they're all like, we don't even recognize you. yeah the The four year old starts crying immediately. It's like you replaced my mom. I remember that one. What not to wear.
01:13:48
Speaker
Oh, yeah. That was a good show. That show was fucking great, dude. I loved it. Every time I would catch an episode, I would be like, what not to wear? I mean, I was trying. I i was the least masculine boy in church, probably. But I was like, I would you why like, oh, you this isn't for God, like it felt like it was for moms and shit. But every time I watched like the first like five or six minutes, you're like I have to I have to see how this ends.
01:14:15
Speaker
Yeah, I guess I should clarify that I did own a leather blazer. I remember that. It's the one you wore to our, no, our junior senior banquet. I had that and like a neon green tie with a black shirt. Nice. Like I was just a little fat pale Morpheus.
01:14:38
Speaker
ah but You ate the red pill and the blue pill. That was the problem. could ah You just double-fisted pills. Those are pills I'm like, you got any candy? and Yeah, do you have like a mic and Ike instead? You were the Pez kid. I could see you being the Pez kid. I think if it fit in my mouth, I'd put it in there. yeah Okay.
01:15:08
Speaker
um So back to the Regalados. So there's some misunderstanding here and you know maybe some outright deception on the part of the Colorado Securities Commission because ah they seem to think that the Regalados didn't do anything worthwhile with this money. and ah Well, here, that's just not the case. But here's the lie. The lie is that we never gave to anyone. Okay. Now they didn't tell you that we sewed everything that we had multiple times. Okay. But let's get into this because we actually gave them our bank records. I'm going to let the, uh, their own word or subpoena. The state says the commissioner tongue chance also alleges that the regal autos admitted to state or disclose material facts. Okay.
01:15:55
Speaker
tongue What are those facts? That contributions to charitable organizations, if made at all, went to a church owned and operated solely by the defendants. So let me be come right out and say this. Yes, we tithed on the business, on on the gross of the business. It was $290,000 that we tithed.
01:16:17
Speaker
ah wow business you started i It's our church where else are we gonna tie it? Okay, that's where that's where God had us in our assignment now out of that bank account is we were giving to ministries We were given to orphans we were given to widows. We were buying cars for people anybody who had a need We were giving out of that fun. Okay, they didn't tell you that Who's playing music in the background? Was that on the road again? He's sitting by his pool in a by his pool and in a tank top while he's making this video. I love that he goes, we sewed many times over, like that's not the deal when you buy into a crypto, when you buy into a cryptocurrency, the deal isn't that you're gonna just give it away to people who need it. part is like He's like, oh, I took it, I took the crypto out, you know, from the church, and then I gave it back to the church as a tie, so I didn't have to pay more taxes on it.
01:17:11
Speaker
yeah Yeah, he really like took took money from the and he's like makes a big deal out of we tithed out of the gross. Remember that whole argument in church, you know, is like do.
01:17:23
Speaker
you should tithe on your gross, not your net, because it's more. That's what God wants, you know? I think that's spelled out in like Titus or something, right? But like, he's, he brings that up as if that's like a, like a feather in his cap that he quote unquote, tithed out of the gross holdings of the business to his own church that he owns, which is an online church, by the way, i online church. And as we talked about,
01:17:52
Speaker
that money goes into a black hole. And there's no way of knowing where that goes from there. He doesn't have to account for it, disclose it, nothing. He can say whatever he wants about it because he doesn't have to report that crap. So like, he basically just put it in, he took it out of one pocket and put it into the other. And then it was gone. Yeah, I mean, it's not like he has a physical space, he's keeping the lights on and whatever else. Like, he's literally just like paying it to himself.
01:18:20
Speaker
It's a literal 10% tax reduction. You go, oh, I'm going to tithe to a church. That church happens to be my church, but I'm setting it aside and I'm writing a check to myself. And now it's, now it's can't be tagged. Now it couldn't be, the irony is it couldn't be taxed anyway. Like if it was actual church and it wasn't, it was cryptocurrency and it was business.
01:18:46
Speaker
You cannot set up a 5013 cryptocurrency. I don't think. I don't know. I don't know shit about crypto, but I'm almost certain you couldn't because Casey would have tried to invest in it if he could.
01:19:01
Speaker
Touche. So it's like you if you can't do that, it's a creates the crypto. He takes out 10 percent and ties it to his church. And um I'm wondering if because that 10 percent or whatever it was, whatever whatever he ties from the crypto was to a church that at least that percentage of it went into the black hole of his church where he could then extract the money. Is that is that what he's been arguing for?
01:19:31
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, he's not saying that he extracted. I mean, he does. He's not saying that he stole it, that but he basically like took 10 percent of the gross holdings of the company. OK. Gave it to the church and probably wrote that off as a tax deduction, you know, and stuff for the company.
01:19:51
Speaker
But once it's in the church's hands, I mean, if he outright paid himself from the church, I think he would have to force that and pay taxes on it to some extent. right But yeah like, as far as the church goes, I mean, what it does with it on its own is like, I mean, nobody knows.
01:20:09
Speaker
Nobody's, you know, they don't have to report any of that crap. So like, it's basically that he's, he's bragging about like legally stealing money from the crypto exchange. Yeah, which goes over great in court judges love that. Yeah, it it it really makes you feel like he's I don't know what he's going for here. That's what I'm, that's what I'm confused about is like, you know, I i think if you sat down, it's it's like we talk about with a lot of these people, like the guy's a psychopath. He conned his own followers out of, you know, $3 million. dollars Like, so, so arguing back and forth about whether he believes that he had good intentions or what he was doing was okay. It's, it's, it doesn't matter. Like he, he believes whatever he needs
Crypto Scam PR and Legal Troubles
01:20:56
Speaker
to believe. He's a psycho.
01:20:58
Speaker
You know, so like, what, what is this? ah What is the PR campaign that he's doing right now about? I mean, is he trying to just like re rehab his public image? Because he, I mean, clearly, I can't imagine that he actually thinks like that his legal counsel is actually telling him that he has a good chance of getting out of this without doing jail time or, or at least like paying huge hefty penalties.
01:21:27
Speaker
So is this just a matter of like I need to paint myself as a martyr So i'm queued up for my next like cash grab when I when I go to ask for donations and stuff like that there's also so I didn't cut sound bites from this and stuff, but there's a lot of this case hinges on the idea that He was selling index coin as a security. So like as a wealth Management tool a holding as opposed to an actual like usable currency and that's why he keeps Continually saying that like it's a utility coin meaning like you this was always intended to be used to like buy sell and and You know exchange for goods and services which you can only feel fuck is marketplace which is down and and doesn't work anymore. So nobody has access to their stuff and
01:22:24
Speaker
So to keep calling a utility coin is bullshit. And it was definitely sold as an investment into the kingdom for and as people approached possibly the end times, because it's like we need crypto because everything else is going to go to shit. You can't trust government. But this is based on saying that this coin was based on the top 10, which is do that even just thinking about that being like this coin is worth whatever whatever the top 10 crypto coins are worth shows how little I know about crypto because I go isn't all crypto kind of made up I don't know how crypto works still and I i know it's not made up and it's based against something and
01:23:08
Speaker
based against mine in a blockchain. I don't it's insane to me. I don't get it. It's it. but It's goober money. I don't know. I don't so then you can he could say whatever he wants because even people like me who are reasonable people who just go and and reasonable in that I'm not saying reasonable because I think it's all bullshit.
01:23:31
Speaker
reasonable in that i could be swayed to invest i mean i almost bought into quant you know quant do you guys know quant oh neither that's because you're losers let me tell you about it you know like my brother-in-law invested into it on recommendation of another friend and colleague who was bringing in money and he got in fucking early and quant blew up and quant was backed by ah this idea of like, um and it functioned as a Kickstarter.
01:24:08
Speaker
is my was my understanding was that like there's a there's this company that believes in this product and it's legit and quant has stayed steady but it did this thing where it went from like if you invested a thousand dollars when quant hit you had a hundred thousand and I think the difference between like investing actual USD and in crypto like this is that you go USD in investments doesn't have the spikes that crypto does. So crypto has established itself as like a, it's and essentially every time something blows up, there's like, it's the equivalent of ah like a bank run, right? Where everyone goes, it blew up. I'm going to pull everything. And they just crashed the market. Right. Yeah. A lot of it goes. It's treated like gambling or get rich quick and not long-term investment.
01:25:03
Speaker
But want was one of those things I my brother in law would have had at the right time. probably could have walked away with $200,000 after a couple thousand dollars worth of investment. He'll get his money back. It's never gone down. And it's an actual legit company that has managed to maintain stability and and potentially that has helped them be more like get into longevity game ah versus like people who are just, you know, you pull. You're not buying quant from you, douche.
01:25:37
Speaker
i don and I don't own any. but i was asked I was told so much. We've done this. Our buttholes still hurt. yeah we yeah that sit I was told buy it, buy it, buy it. I was like, I don't want to. I don't trust it.
01:25:53
Speaker
if i bought when i was told to i might have made a few thousand dollars that would have been nice but the risk wasn't i don't know i'm not a i'm a very risk averse person and i think that's what's funny about this is him trying to treat this idea of like Anyone who sells the idea of crypto as a long-term investment, I think is bullshit. i cri But look at Bitcoin. Bitcoin's like one of the only ones. There's a few that have gone up significantly. but
01:26:30
Speaker
the main ones are fine ah yeah i mean i'm also kind of risk-reversed but also i'm very stupid so yeah so you avoid all the wrong risks i only picked the wrong ones what are you talking about well yeah i guess i that could be the same if you avoid yeah avoid the quote-unquote wrong ones Yeah, yeah and so so legacy he has to keep selling this he has to sell to the court this idea that like index coin was was a ah You know what?
01:27:04
Speaker
a utility coin and that it was always meant to be used as currency and not just like a store of wealth. So that's a big part of his like case in his videos is that, but then it's also pretty clear that like part of his strategy for keeping himself out of the hot seat and having to pay, you know, like ah damages to the investors and stuff is to in insist that index coins not over.
01:27:33
Speaker
And he keeps like mentioning that like, Oh, we will, you know, like I saw like somebody, every video that he posts, if you look at the comments, there's just like 20 people being like, this is a total scam. And he would be like, be like, thank you for your comment. You're helping us get the word out to more people. Keep an eye on index coin. God is not done with our exchange. Like just says stuff like that. i don't like yeah This is, you know, the money that he took out, like another part of this too is, you know, although he copped to like pulling money out of the company, you know, that 1.3 million and spending it on whatever. Now he's like really making the case that like Regalotto contends the money was profit from selling from the selling of index coin and therefore there's to spend.
01:28:22
Speaker
He claims that hundreds of thousands of dollars went to religious charities. The state disputes that. And that index coin is not worthless. Buyers have not lost out. Quote, people didn't lose anything because it's not over, he said. People are saying it's worthless. Why are they saying it's worthless? Because they can't spend it. Could they have spent it while the exchange was up? Yes, they could have exchanged it. It's not worthless.
01:28:47
Speaker
oh oh okay good point yeah i like that the barometer for i don't know if that's the right word but i maybe i should say the standard for worthless or or not worth is like we had people send in a cumulative total of $10,000. And that makes this all worth a cumulative $10,000. Like it's not worthless. It's just worth what people put into it because it's not backed by anything other than what people put into it. Yeah.
01:29:23
Speaker
Well, and the whole value based on index is just basically assigning an arbitrary number to a value amount for it. That would only matter if you had bought a level of investment into the top 10 index coins. If you bought into that- Yeah, that was the idea. If they had actual holdings in these other cryptos and stuff, then the It would make some sense. If someone goes, I'm going to give $1,000 to index coin, and then that $1,000 was immediately dispersed in amongst the top 10 e-coins or cryptocurrencies, I should say. ah Then that would be. then Then it would be an index. Right. Then it would to be an index. The argument is that no, no, no.
01:30:21
Speaker
Index coin was not an index. It was a utility coin with a a value based on an index. and' like which you go the yeah That's just him going, the index of the top, the average index of the top 10 is the value of my top one. The spendable coin, but there's literally nothing you can spend it on. It's just words. That's insane.
01:30:45
Speaker
It's it's all words still, I know it's just words and I know I already said this, but I'm going to say again, it is the evangelical equivalent of cryptocurrency. It's just words. It's, I believe the Bible because the Bible said it's true. Yeah. oh yeah Well, that is cryptocurrency for idiots. Okay. This is one of the like sick, like, like fun little, like just desserts things though, is that even though this is clear, like this scam is cooked.
01:31:13
Speaker
Like he has to keep selling it to people. I want to visit that. As long as it's still alive and there's still like that, you know, it's the index is still of around. Like as long as it's not dead, nobody's technically lost anything, you know? So like he's now doomed to continually have to sell this like dead idea forever.
01:31:39
Speaker
to keep it alive long enough so that he doesn't have to pay damages to the investors and stuff. So he says Regalado said that he is calling people who own more than 10,000 index coin and asking them to invest in the project. If they do, he will create a new exchange. Then when the global so financial system collapses, something that Regalado has been predicting for years and considers imminent, people the world over will rush to buy index coin. He expects.
01:32:08
Speaker
Dear Lord. When asked if he's selling jilted buyers to simply wait, he said, stand by and see the salvation of the Lord. That's the message. When asked how that's going, he said, it's going great.
01:32:31
Speaker
How's that treat? Yeah, he's like it's great. This is I twitches. Oh my god. That's hilarious. That's perfect That's I like that response to anything how do you think it's going it's going great Any time that is the funny part of the whole thing is that like he's now He's he's ball and chain locked to this like sinking ship. This is a sunk ship He's like standing on the top of the mast like with his his lip sticking out of the water Just barely able to breathe as long as the waves don't get high enough He's he's Leonardo DiCaprioing it on the fucking Titanic. I like that you know, I actually really love this idea because
01:33:16
Speaker
I don't know. that there's any way it can get worse for him, legally speaking. like they They're dealing with that, and all he can do is be like, I'm either fucked completely, or I can double down on this, and if something works out randomly, happenstancely, I could actually avoid jail time. So like it's kind of funny that he yeah all... the his actual only legal option is to like quadruple down on this shit. Oh yeah well all the stuff he's saying in those clips there it's just digging him deeper like he's not gonna find anything that exonerates himself he's just making it worse. But the the hilarity is there I mean most crimes carry a maximum penalty and he was probably already teetering towards that so he's like
01:34:09
Speaker
Oh, he has to be within the parameters of that maximum penalty. I'm just going to I'm going to quadruple down because that's the only possible exit ticket is like I'm facing 20 years. This crime does not allow for more than 20 years.
01:34:26
Speaker
So the only option is that I just go so hard into this that if I can come out on the other side, not only am I lucky and avoid jail time, but I can also attribute it to the almighty God and then people will invest more money. The thing with it is, is like jail is the only chance that this guy has like serves any sort of penalty for it because, you know, a If you read about any of these types of cases anywhere else where like, you know a Court orders them to pay damages to the victims and stuff like that Like there's no way he's paying any of those like he'll he'll dodge him and avoid him and circumnavigate the thing for the for the rest of eternity i mean how jes's attached to Ministry like he pays something I don't have money for
01:35:18
Speaker
Right, so he'll just never put another dollar in his like child support run it through the ministry for the rest of his life you're right Exactly i have to pay five onlylo is a monster to raise it skin So those two clips were from this like uh video where he was like exposing the Colorado security commission lies. And he really goes hard on like the the ah commissioner and just calls her a liar left and right and stuff like that. He then posted another video apologizing for his tone called lead with love. I love that. I love the apologizing for your tone. I apologize for how I said it, but not what I said.
01:36:10
Speaker
Oh, you're going to love this. Here's a clip from the end of his apology video. I made those apologies before. It's the spirit of love because it's the spirit that gives life. The flesh profits nothing. So even though I can be right in the flesh and be angry in the flesh, unless it's with the spirit of love, none of this matters.
01:36:29
Speaker
None of it matters. So God bless you all. I love you. Tong Chan, consider this a formal apology. I'm sure you've probably been accused of things in your tenure as commissioner. It's probably the first time you received a public apology from the Lord ah through someone else.
01:36:44
Speaker
so anyways god bless you just know that we're praying for your department just know the lord makes mistakes in this case just know that we are just allowing the lord to do what he's going to do and be faithful in this um trying circumstance it's it's too good dude it's too good it's like looking at someone who is such a grifter Like there's no remorse. There's no, it's just a, it's just like the the animal will to survive. And that's it. I mean, literally like, like, I'm sure you've been accused of a lot of things over your career, but you probably never got an apology from the Lord. I mean, i mean i know lord through a vessel.
01:37:29
Speaker
You know, but how can it be from the Lord? Because God doesn't apologize. God's perfect. His vessels are imperfect. It's not an apology from the Lord. If from his perspective, it's crazy. He's apologizing for his tone because I'm sorry about is how I said it. We're he people apparently rebuked him for his angry tone. And so he wanted to apologize for that from the Lord, I guess.
01:37:59
Speaker
and then you know also tell her that ah you know he's praying for her and for her department. i i like that this is That's the height of human arrogance, right? I love the idea that you can be so far up your own asshole that you go, oh, they're not actually mad about what I said. They're mad because I said it too loud.
01:38:22
Speaker
and so but yeah It's so dumb. It makes me so mad. I think it makes me especially mad because I feel like I know I've said that kind of shit before in my evangelical heyday. It was like, look, the spirit of what I said matters. I think I still stand by it. I'm pretty mad that you didn't stand up for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in the way that I would have.
01:38:47
Speaker
But what I should have done is according to this stupid ass pastoral epistle taking you aside privately and been like, hey, brother in Christ.
01:38:59
Speaker
Not in front of everybody, it's just us. Hey, brother in Christ, I'm sorry that I offended you, but here's where I'm coming from. And then we could have had a public discourse. Like it's just, God, it's such- You and Neil will love the sin or hate the sin treatment. it's Yeah, it's such pageantry. This idea that you can be like,
01:39:19
Speaker
I'm only wrong because I raised my voice is the dumbest fucking thing ever. Wow. Yeah, that's pretty bad. What I would tell the Colorado Securities Commission is flush that turd down the drain.
01:39:37
Speaker
yeah Because fuck that sucks. Holy shit, he sucks so bad. Good job, Casey. There they are.
01:39:49
Speaker
Oh man, so I guess we'll just, i I'll keep an eye out for news about the regalados and I just want to take a second to extend the offer once again to kate Caitlin. Look, I like to think that I'm a i'm ah im ah a good judge of character. i'm an ah I'm an observer of the human condition. I i have feelings about people, okay? My feeling about your husband, he's what what I like to call a bad egg.
01:40:18
Speaker
you know You on the other hand, I don't get that sense. I think you're a good egg. I don't think you're rotten inside. You don't have worms in you. I just would hate to see this guy drag you down. and I think at the end of the day, you know you got to think about think about your children. you know I know you guys have a couple of terrible little kids and you can get rid of them if you want. but I just don't want to see you go down with the ship just out of a sense of loyalty, which I'm sure that you have in spades, Caitlin. I'm sure you would stand by your your spouse to the end, but I'm here to tell you that I don't think that's what God wants for you. Okay. I think God wants you to, to clear your name, be there for your kids, uh, smuggle, you know, barbiturates into prison to Eli.
01:41:14
Speaker
in whatever orifice you have to. And ah in order to do that, you know we gotta get the truth out. We gotta get your side of the story out and there's no better medium for that than growing up Christian. So I extend once again, a formal offer to you to join us on Growing Up Christian, share your story, tell us about you know anything and everything terrible about Eli that you wanna talk about, abuse, you know ah bad manners,
01:41:43
Speaker
odors, rashes, anything like that that you want to discuss. Greasy dick. You can tell by looking at e Eli, his penis stinks. Yeah. I mean, it seems obvious. It's sweaty. It's got that sweaty fish tank smell to it. He's, he's literally never trimmed his taint ever. No, no, it's a full-on like,
01:42:09
Speaker
Yeah, it's a beard oil, that thing. It's like it's it's like when you when you go pee and you've got that elastic waistband shorts and yeah you pull them down and your thumb goes between your balls and your thigh.
01:42:24
Speaker
Like that's what it smells like all the time down there for him. That bench that gets on your your thumb. It's slimy in there. Crab grass on a humid day. Unwashed constantly.
01:42:40
Speaker
Not good. So reach out, Caitlin. You know, I've reached out to you. I mean, I, ah the ball's in your court. Okay. Reach out to us. Let's get you on here. Let's tell your side of the story. And, uh, you know what? This would be a great way to take to kick off your divorce. So get at us.
Retro Gaming Promotion
01:43:00
Speaker
Uh, dude, Jesse, thanks for joining us, man. Hey, it's always was a pleasure. I appreciate you having me on. Absolutely.
01:43:10
Speaker
Oh, and we've talked about it a few times on here before, but, uh, Jesse has a page called the retro winner on Instagram and he makes game consoles, like handheld game consoles that have basically every video game ever made up until like 2014.
01:43:29
Speaker
maybe not quite that early or that soon but like maybe 2004 but it's got the good shit it's got Sega it's got Super NES it's got n64 it's like scott yeah it's like 16,000 games on there yeah it's it's great I got one I fucking love it They are very cool. And like, you can order a turd from Wish that shows up with like 1500 of the same, you know, Super Nintendo games on it. None of them work right and stuff. Jesse actually goes through and like, like goes through the library and fixes the ones that the controls are screwed up on and updates them and everything like that. And they're super fun to play with.
01:44:19
Speaker
appreciate he's got great customer service so if you that felt so ad like no but I'm telling you because I had one and I'm I was fucking with like I remember around Christmas time I was fucking with bomber man 64 that was a big deal for me I'm like Hey, dude, the controls are a little bit weird. He goes, try this. And then I was trying to do some Banjo Tooie, the sequel to Banjo Kazooie, because it's just better. And I was like, hey, it's getting a little bit weird. And he gave me a bunch of advice on different things to try so that would it worked. I don't even remember what you said. I just know there's like different emulator files or some shit like that. But yeah either way,
01:45:03
Speaker
They're pretty complicated if if you don't really like get it at first. I try and set most of it up like perfectly, but I'm one person that is not a genius either. so But if you think of them as like a a little miniature computer, it starts to make a little bit more sense.
01:45:18
Speaker
Yeah, but he it's it's awesome. I'm like any any little thing that there was an issue with I played countless games that worked flawlessly ah But if there were any little issues I had you just DM him and he's he's right back at you in like Several minutes. I mean you're here quick on the return dude. Maybe it's just christmas friends, but either way ae he's not going to leave The point is he's not gonna leave you hanging if if you order one of these contraptions Yeah. You think Xi Jinping is going to return your emails about your wish console that doesn't work with the crap? In fact, if you buy it from wish, you probably single handedly funded a future nuclear war.
Podcast Community Engagement
01:46:04
Speaker
I mean, I don't know how to, I mean, it's, but it's, yeah, it was put together by a weeping child soldier. Yeah. You can't feel good about playing vector man on that. and That's true.
01:46:17
Speaker
a kid who's actually in the process of dying from physically handling depleted uranium. I don't know, man. I just don't make a better choice. Go with retro wiener. I appreciate the plug. yeah I don't have to give it myself. Yeah. So I find him on a sit up and working on. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. And stuff. I think I got some of the games are a little harder to emulate, like Conker's bed for a day. Perfect.
01:46:44
Speaker
Dude, I got him working like pretty well, like full speed. It's pretty great, so I'm gonna make a video about it for you soon. Dude, you you figure out how to put BMX XXX on there. Sam's gonna get fired from his job. He's gonna be cranking down at the airport while you're playing the game.
01:47:05
Speaker
Just sitting on the toilet. ah
01:47:12
Speaker
What are you doing? It's like I had to blow into my console.
01:47:18
Speaker
Yeah, that's the other great thing. No, no cartridges required. You're going to blow into anything unless you want to. That's true. All right. Thanks everybody for listening and don't forget we got a discord. You can find the link in our Instagram bio.
01:47:41
Speaker
and we would love to hear, we have like an episode discussion page in there where we go back and forth on, you know, I don't know, lots of things. yeah People getting mad at us for our dumb takes. We're not the last gen I was good.
01:47:58
Speaker
or the acoly but We're not great. We're just, were we literally don't have good takes regularly. I mean, it's just funny to think of like,
01:48:10
Speaker
i I've made this comment before and I know we're ending but I'm gonna make it again is I've never been a Joe Rogan fan but I love the idea of how much people hate him when you're just like I know we could talk to anybody and I would just be like uh-huh uh-huh like we're not we're just
01:48:31
Speaker
which I say the things I think and sometimes three days later I go, ah shit, that was really, really dumb. This isn't the place to come for information. We have bad opinions on plenty of things and we have strong opinions on media.
01:48:47
Speaker
because that's some of the most important shit and you can tell us all about that in the discord that's the point you can actually argue with us personally in the discord about why we're wrong about everything we've ever said and we'll take it on the chin yeah join up and then tell us your uh lifelong embarrassing story i would love to hear some more yeah i need someone to i need someone to pale my bad experience that i shared today
01:49:16
Speaker
Alright everybody, thanks for listening and we will see you next time.