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183. Preparing for the Inevitable: Simplifying End-of-life Tasks, & Estate Planning with Adam Zuckerman
65 Plays14 days ago
In this episode, we sit down with Adam Zuckerman to discuss the importance of estate planning and how to simplify end-of-life tasks. Adam shares his personal journey through grief, including the sudden loss of his father, and offers valuable insights on managing the emotional and logistical challenges that come with it. Learn how to organize your affairs to provide peace of mind for yourself and your loved ones.
More about Adam Zuckerman and https://buriedinwork.com/
Adam Zuckerman is the Founder of Buried in Work, a leading eCommerce platform specializing in estate planning/organization, end-of-life tasks, and estate transitions.
With a deeply personal motivation stemming from his experience managing his father's estate, Adam is dedicated to simplifying these complex processes for individuals and families nationwide.
As an Eisenhower Fellow, attorney, and MBA, Adam brings a wealth of expertise to his role, combining legal knowledge with entrepreneurial vision to drive innovation in the field of estate planning.
Adam's mission is to empower individuals of all ages to navigate the intricacies of estate planning with confidence and ease. Through Buried in Work, he seeks to revolutionize the way people approach end-of-life preparations, ensuring that everyone has access to the resources they need to secure their legacy and protect their loved ones.
Contact Kendra Rinaldi to be a guest or for coaching inquiries: https://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com/
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Transcript
Why review your estate plan after life events?
00:00:01
Speaker
On the other side of the equation, there's people like my generation, the sandwich generation, where we're involved in helping out or taking care of our parents and kids and family. So it's great for them. So if you have a life event, you got married, you got a job, you moved, you bought a house, you got a car, you should be looking at your estate plan.
00:00:20
Speaker
And the reason why is that if you don't have an estate plan, you might not realize it. You actually have an estate plan, but that estate plan is made for you by the state that you live in. So it goes through a process called interstate after you pass away.
Exploring grief and estate planning with Adam Zuckerman
00:00:45
Speaker
This podcast is about exploring the grief that occurs at different times in our lives in which we have had major changes and
00:01:01
Speaker
I created this podcast for people to feel a little less hopeless and alone in their own grief process as they hear the stories of others who have had similar
00:01:22
Speaker
Today on the podcast, I have Adam Zuckerman. He is the founder of Buried in Work, which is a leading e-commerce forum specializing in estate planning and organization. And we will be talking a lot about how it is he ended up doing this line of work and your own grief journey. So welcome, Adam. Thank you. It's great to be here today. I am grateful you're here. You know, it's always good to have
00:01:53
Speaker
these type of resources out there because people that listen to this podcast are people that are currently grieving or maybe in the process of losing a loved one. And it is good to be prepared because there is a lot of business in death that is really not conducive of even allowing us sometimes to grieve because we're so in the logistics of burial planning and you know but this you know the state, what to do with the home, what to do the things. There's so much stuff right that happens, especially if it's a spouse that passes or if it's a parent, those type of dynamics happen. So we will be chatting about that in your own journey. So let's just chat for more. We were starting to talk offline as I was figuring out my microphone and audio. Where you live and where did you grow up?
Adam Zuckerman's background and career journey
00:02:46
Speaker
I live in Potomac, Maryland, which is right outside of Washington, D.C. And I did not expect it, but this is actually where I grew up as well. So I left for a little while. I lived in Miami and New York and St. Louis and California. um But in 2007, after grad school, I got a JD and an MBA. So I'm an attorney with an MBA. I found myself back in Washington, D.C.
00:03:09
Speaker
Well, it's a good place to be in that attorney field too, right? Did you end up working in any line at all with anything in the government in any moment or not? Yeah, I've interacted with government, but I've been private sector the majority of my career. i've I've been fortunate to jump around some. So I was at a hedge fund. I was an entrepreneur and futurist for Discovery Channel's parent company. A really exciting job. I worked in clean energy. I've helped startups. And most recently, I started buried in work where I've been spending the vast majority of my time lately.
00:03:43
Speaker
So let's talk about that first. Let me ask you more about your own family dynamics. you you know We know your father passed away, but tell me about your own little family nucleus when you were growing up in Potomac and your family dynamics.
00:03:58
Speaker
So I am the youngest of three children. Both of my parents were from Long Island in New York. My mom was a teacher. My dad worked for the government the majority of his life at the IRS. At one point in time, he was the director of federal, state, and local governments and said, go on to Michigan, that type of thing.
00:04:15
Speaker
um My two older sisters are great. One lives in Canada now. One lives in only Maryland, just a few minutes away from us. Both have kids. um And I was fortunate. Very close-knit family. We speak all the time. Dad was hilarious. Mom is supportive and intelligent. Just a really good family dynamic that I'm very grateful to have.
00:04:39
Speaker
and Then what year did your father pass away and what were the circumstances of his passing? yeah He passed away last August, which was a bit of a surprise, but also not unexpected. ah What I mean by that is about seven years ago now, he was diagnosed the first time with leukemia. so He actually had five cancer scares ah before he he finally gave in or succumbed however you want to phrase it.
00:05:07
Speaker
But he had leukemia three times, had skin cancer once, had prostate cancer once. um But regardless of whether or not you have cancer or you don't have cancer, when someone's around, you oftentimes think that they're going to be around forever and you just don't want to accept that the the eventuality could happen. um It was very personal for me.
Family bonds and facing illness together
00:05:28
Speaker
I was fortunate that seven years ago I was able to donate bone marrow. So there's only a 30% chance that you'll be able to match with one of your parents. I was just on that upper age at the time of
00:05:42
Speaker
of being a good match. Both of my sisters didn't match genetically and we're very lucky. The bone marrow took, I had the surgery um and we got about three, four, five, I don't remember the exact number of years from the first bone marrow transplant.
00:05:59
Speaker
The second time it came back, I wasn't a qualified donor anymore because his leukemia mutated. So my bone marrow couldn't detect his leukemia anymore. So I'm off the shelf. So they put him into remission. And then last year, things got really crazy really quickly. It was pretty hard.
00:06:19
Speaker
So he was at my house. We were doing some woodworking in the basement and he walked up the stairs on my deck. And at the end of walking up the stairs, he's like, Adam, I'm kind of tired. And when my dad says he's tired, it's a problem because leukemia is a blood, blood disease. And he went to the doctor and he checked into the hospital after getting some tests and 12 days later he passed away. So unbelievably too quick.
00:06:40
Speaker
yeah That is the the interesting thing with these type of cancers, especially when you've already been on remission, or you kind of think everything's good, and then all of a sudden something like this happens, and then it feels like really quick, like you didn't have time yet, you know, he'd been able to succumb, let's say, the not like beat the odds other moments, and then all of a sudden, and it's even when we're prepared, it still seems quite Like, we're not we we're never really prepared, even though we all know we're going to die. We're still not prepared.
00:07:12
Speaker
It's unbelievable. I mean, he was completely fine. I say completely fine in quotations. Uh, for six years, he got to travel around on and off, you know, he was supportive and happy and funny and still went out and went for bike rides. Like he was around like full mental capacity too. And literally up until two days before he passed away, he he was having conversations with people. Um,
00:07:39
Speaker
It happened way too
Founding Buried in Work from personal experience
00:07:41
Speaker
quick. He is a very organized person, but what we found in the process of transitioning the estate to my mom, she's still around. I was deeply involved in that process. I was named the executor in his will. Even though you think you're organized, unless you've gone through it before, odds are you you aren't.
00:07:58
Speaker
and In a weird way, the the whole premise of buried in work started by accident, but it is unbelievably cathartic for me in the sense that I'm able to take what I've learned during the process, built upon it with the help of a lot of experts, and it's great to see that we're helping a lot of other people in the process.
00:08:19
Speaker
Yeah, it's those little things of our own experiences. Many of us can do then something with them. And it it's not to say that everybody has that responsibility of having to carry on and kind of change the world. or their own experience, that's not what we're saying. But for some of us, that ends up being the way we even process our own grief is by putting something out there for someone else. And in your case, this is buried in work is this tool that you've given for others, but it was also then a tool for yourself and your own grief journey too. So tell us about buried in work and what is it that it offers in this planning? And then we can talk deeper about that.
Resources and target audience of Buried in Work
00:09:04
Speaker
Yeah, so Buried in Work is is a company, it's a website, so really easy to find buriedinwork dot.com, slightly punny. And effectively what we're doing is we are creating a wealth of information and resources to simplify estate planning and end-of-life tasks all the way through estate transition and probate.
00:09:22
Speaker
So if you're a do-it-yourselfer, we want to create a wealth of information that you can come to the website and find what you need, not only on a high level. What do I need to organize my state information, family member information, pet citizenship, career education history, residential history, your digital legacy platforms and and situations, financial assets, financial liabilities, this goes on and on and on. But really the nitty gritty of, I need to figure out how to shut down an account with Amazon. Who do I call? What do I do? I want to search for unclaimed property in one of the 50 state databases or one of the but eight federal databases. How do I do that? I need to plan a funeral. What do I need to know? And not just generally speaking, but we have it literally down to
00:10:04
Speaker
Christian funeral, Jewish funeral, Hindu funeral, Muslim funeral, ah not secular LGBTQ+. And if you're a do-it-yourselfer, that's great. Take the information, run with it. But if you want some guided help, we've got products, including games, that can really make this system a little bit more efficient.
00:10:24
Speaker
And what we found is that it is unbelievably important to get organized as quickly and as soon as possible. And the reason why is that the average estate takes over 570 hours to administer on the country. And I don't know about you, but most people that I've spoken with don't have a free 570 hours.
00:10:43
Speaker
And if you're going to bake a cake, as the analogy, and someone comes over to your house to bake the cake with you and you don't have the ingredients, it's going to take you a lot longer to make that cake because you have to go to the store and get all the ingredients and hunt them down. And then it's even worse if you don't have the recipe, right? You're really starting from scratch.
00:10:59
Speaker
But if you bake that cake a lot and you have that recipe and have all your ingredients, it's a lot easier for you to process. So if you can get that recipe together, you can get those ingredients together. So your family, your loved ones, your heirs, your executor has everything they need at the time that they need it. When it's not, you know, a great time for them to be focused, stressful times after someone passes away, it's going to make everybody's life just a little bit easier. So that's going to be a work. Well, it seems like it could go for anybody like for somebody that is like like you said, very intuitively can kind of do it themselves or if you want somebody to just do it all. So it's easy to follow system. Now, is it mainly for someone that wants to, like, okay, like let me just ask you this, who are the ideal users that show, like, yes, who are the ideal users? Let's put it that way.
00:11:50
Speaker
Yeah. So that's a great question. um If you're alive and you live in the United States, it's probably a good tool for you. That's the the quippy answer. But the reality is that we are creating resources for different markets and for different users, I guess. On the one hand, if you think of business to consumers, so B2C type market, ah there's the age group 65 and above. So every single day in America, 10,000 Americans turn 65.
00:12:18
Speaker
That means that by the end of the decade, the number of people that turn 65 are going to double. And in 10 years, the number of people that are 65 or older are going to outnumber that below, which is just nuts. That means we're facing the largest transfer of wealth in the history of humanity, $84 trillion over the next 20 years. So if you think you're getting up in age or you think something might happen, this is a great resource to help you get your stuff in order.
00:12:41
Speaker
On the other side of the equation, there's people like my generation, the sandwich generation, where we're involved in helping out or taking care of our parents and kids and family. So it's great for them. So if you have a life event, you got married, you got at your job, you moved, you bought a house, you got in your car, you should be looking at your estate plan.
00:12:59
Speaker
And the reason why is that if you don't have an estate plan, you might not realize it. You actually have an estate plan, but that estate plan is made for you by the state that you live in. So it goes through a process called interstate after you pass away. And if you don't want the state and the government to decide what's going to happen to your assets, it's probably a pretty good idea that you get everything in in order and organized. So that doesn't happen.
00:13:26
Speaker
That is so helpful. And especially if there are certain things, you mentioned certain religious backgrounds even, if there are certain things that are desires based on your, even your own upbringing and religious that you need to make sure that it occurs when you die, then if you just leave it to the state and not have something already planned, those wishes might not take place, right?
00:13:54
Speaker
Yeah, that's exactly right. So what's what's really interesting is that certain religions have specific traditions for funerals and end of life. Some religions even say this is how you should craft your will. um You can go to our website. You can learn about that in the free checklist and guide section. You can you can pop through.
00:14:12
Speaker
It's a new company too. you I mean, when did you start? When did it start? We started it last November is when we launched the website. oh yeah super new yeah We had over 10,000 visitors to the website, which is crazy.
00:14:25
Speaker
um We are working with individuals. We're working with companies right now, ah tax prep attorneys, ah real estate agents. We're working with HR benefits. We created games to help you up conversations with people. i There is a need in the marketplace that people are really interested in in simplifying things. and Fortunately, as my friend said, you're the right person at the right time to start the company solving the right problem. and It's not just me who's working on this, there are a lot of people that are involved now and we're able to develop products really, really quickly to help a lot of people. and Okay, so if somebody can go up there, they can then look at the list of what is it that like even for the requirements of their bill based on that and go ahead, follow from there since I just took you on this tangent.
00:15:14
Speaker
So a will is is a foundational element of an estate plan, but anybody that says that this is your estate plan or what you need without talking to you, don't listen to them. And the reason why is that you're unique just like everybody else. So your circumstances are going to be unique.
00:15:29
Speaker
And it also has to be tailored to the local jurisdiction where you live. So your will, if you write it down in one state, it might not be legal somewhere else, even though it's legal where you live because you haven't met their jurisdictional requirements. How many signatories? Who are the signatories? How old are they? Do you need to notarize? Things like that. So you can come to our website. You can learn those specific basics on a state by state basis that we're getting through right now.
00:15:53
Speaker
But what we won't do is actually make your will for you. We won't make a will, we won't make a trust. And the reason why is that because this is so specific, we don't want to do that. We want to help you get all your information organized. So wherever you are right now, your family can step in and manage your day-to-day affairs literally all the way down to like, who's my gardener if you have a gardener at your house.
00:16:12
Speaker
um and take that information over to an attorney. And if you buy the products, which is really neat, the average estate attorney charges between $150 and $400 an hour in the country, which can get pretty expensive. And if you fill this out and bring it to them, you're going to save hours and hours of time for them because they have the information that they need. So it's effectively free and you have something that your family can leverage. So that's how the local jurisdiction information comes into play. ah It's really important to get ahead of this stuff.
00:16:42
Speaker
Yeah. Now, okay. So now let's go into, okay, let's say you have a family, let's, okay, let's, I'll just pretend it's me. So let's say I've gone on, I have it, I have my estate planned. Now, something happens to me, then my children or spouse need to access then my information. So how does that, do you put like the contacts of the yeah person, and tell us a little how that works?
00:17:06
Speaker
Okay, so for do-it-yourselfers, we effectively say, here's the checklist and the guide of how you want to organize your information. It is a lot of the info that you need to get together.
Organizing and sharing estate information
00:17:15
Speaker
If you want the guided approach, you're looking what we we call the estate preparation package. um If we had video on, you can actually see it. It's on the desk behind me. It's a big box that comes. There's three binders. The first binder is blue. We call that your estate information binder, and that has all the information for you. If you have a spouse, your kids, dependents, siblings, and that literally goes down and says,
00:17:36
Speaker
Family members, citizenship identification, career education, residential history, email online accounts and passwords, computers, phones, devices, financial assets, financial liabilities, business interest information, insurance information, tax returns, and a whole bunch of else. So you have that binder that stays in your house.
00:17:54
Speaker
There's also an orange binder and it's high visibility for a reason. It's like really nicely designed, manufactured, embossed, printed, ya ya yada, yada, yada. And every single page is customized for you um that has all your health and medical information in it. It also has your key contacts. So if something happens to me, this is what I want to want you to call or who I want you to call.
00:18:13
Speaker
It has a recap of what you want to have happen at your funeral. If you want to have a funeral, your hand of life wishes, um legacy messaging, and a bunch of other sets of information. We can go into details, but we don't need to. But that can go with you, the hospital. And then there's a blackbinder that comes with it also that you can actually store your most important documents in that's fire resistant and water resistant.
00:18:34
Speaker
So you have all of your information in one place. And literally what we say, and when you read the Getting Started booklet, one of the first things that you should do is you have to tell three people that you're doing this book. And this is a really good takeaway. If you organize your information with us, with someone else, by yourself, it doesn't matter who. If your friends, your family member, your executives, they can't find the information that they need, it's the equivalent of you not actually doing anything at all.
00:19:00
Speaker
So the first step is start figuring out how you're going to organize it, then tell three people and then actually go into one organization. And then you have to come back and revisit it over time because a state organization, it's not a moment in time.
Estate planning as a gift to loved ones
00:19:13
Speaker
Your life changes, this needs to change to reflect it as well.
00:19:16
Speaker
Yes, that that's exactly what I was going to say is like, because let's say my husband writes somewhere where all the passwords are to all the things. Well, if I don't know where he's stored that, like how do I go in, right? So yes, telling someone is important. And then that person either being able to find, and if by chance, let's say they can't find the kits. Let's say they, they buried them. They buried them in the buried in work. they um then can they contact? But they know that they that somebody's already filed. Can they contact? Can they contact Barry, the worker or not? They can't. And the reason why is this is some very sensitive information that we're asking people to collect. And we don't want any of that right now. Maybe we're going down the road, we we'll figure something out to to help out in that regard.
00:20:05
Speaker
We can tell if somebody reaches out, yes, you know we we sold a package to this person. We probably wouldn't for for information. But if they're like, hey, here's the death certificate. I'm the state ex executor. I'm looking for this. We can show them what it looks like. But this is your information that you need to maintain, that you need to put together. We'll help you gather the information if you need it. But it's up to you. And it's a lot more than this, too. And it helps you understand what advanced directives are, like a living will, and a health care proxy, and a pulse to a portable medical or um power of attorney documents, things like that. What's really complicated is that this is a really overwhelming topic for a lot of people.
00:20:43
Speaker
ah It's hard to put together. It's overwhelming. And the last thing you want to do is go through what I went through and my family went through of trying to sort through everything. And we were somewhat organized, but if you're starting from square zero, trying to figure stuff out in a time of mourning and a time of craziness, like that is the worst time possible. And the earlier you can start, the better.
00:21:09
Speaker
Yes, yeah, because it just, it's a gift you can give your loved ones, first off, because you are giving them the gift of time that they will be able to have of also being able to really fully grieve as well, right? On the side on the side of our box, it says, neither here is the gift of organization. So you hit the nail on the head.
00:21:35
Speaker
because it's so true, because I mean, I've lived it, I've lived it, you know, I mean, I had, my my dad is still living, but my mom died. And so too, like all those little things that we tried to do, you know, to prepare for that, but it still adds up. Now, the time itself, you were saying about over, it could be overwhelming, right? So when you go in, is it is it very easy to kind of like just go step by step so that it doesn't feel overwhelming? Because a lot of us,
00:22:04
Speaker
The moment that I'm saying it, a lot of me, a lot of a lot of us like me can feel completely so overwhelmed that don't even get started, that we're like, forget it. I'm like, I don't even want to deal with that because I don't want to deal with the stress. So is it very easy to follow?
00:22:20
Speaker
It's very overwhelming and very easy to follow. um perfect It's overwhelming because there's a lot of information. Anybody that says that you can do this in one afternoon or very quickly, they're lying to you. Just think about it. This is a recap of your life. You're more than 20 pieces of paper.
00:22:36
Speaker
So you take the the package, you open it up and you go, holy cow, this weighs a lot, depending on if you have one family member or two family members, how many houses or cars you own, if you have multiple vehicles. like There's a lot of things that we customize, so every single kit is literally different. It's handmade, it's hand-assembled, takes a lot of time, but it's worth it. um It can be anywhere between nine and 13 pounds, the box that comes.
00:22:58
Speaker
Okay, so you look at this and you go, holy cow, where do I start? And fortunately we give you a booklet that says getting started and then it says focus on these sections first. And you get knowing, and you write down your name, you write down your birthday, you write down your social security number, you write down your residential history, and a lot of that information will never change. And you can do that sitting in front of a TV, you can do that sitting at your table, you can do it over coffee in the morning, and you just start going through it. And then you realize, wait a minute, I've made my way through these sections. Now I'm going to get to the really complicated ones, like how I keep passwords and what my accounts are and my benefits.
00:23:33
Speaker
ah But the good news is that we worked with professional designers to make sure that we ask all the questions that we need. ah We worked with professionals in the specific topical areas. So we have a pet section. A lot of people don't think like, oh my goodness, if I pass away, what's going to happen to my dog or my cat? Oh no, when and I'll tell you a story in a minute about that. Go ahead.
00:23:54
Speaker
So we literally worked with a veterinarian to make sure that our pet profiles were perfect. We were certified financial planners for the assets area. um We worked with military people to make sure that the military forms and information that we're asking for so you can get death benefits at certain things from the VA. So is it overwhelming? Yes. Is it manageable completely? And that's why we think that a product like ours is really good is because we've taken the time to map out, start here, then do this. Otherwise,
00:24:24
Speaker
you might not know that you should be writing down if I have a power of attorney, but also who or former power of attorneys. You might not know that if you don't have a payable on Beth then a a designation for a bank account that's indicated, then that could go through probate, but you can avoid probate if you have that payable on death beneficiary. like There's just a lot of little things that unless you've gone through it, you're not going to know and we want to make that easier on you.
00:24:50
Speaker
and especially coming from someone that lived it. And not only did you live it, but you have the expertise being a lawyer to be able to do this. But I was gonna say regarding the pets, i can I completely can relate to even those thoughts of that. I'm like, oh my gosh, what am I we gonna do with but my dogs? I was in an airplane and it was like turbulence.
00:25:09
Speaker
And we're like in another country. And then I realized, I'm like, oh my goodness. I'm like, if something were to happen to me, like the first thing I thought is like, the the dog ah care, the guy that's watching, watching or like they they don't know. and They only have my number. I'm like, what if something happens? Like he's going to think I just abandoned my dogs. And so I was like, the moment we landed, the first thing I did was ask two friends. I'm like, can I give your numbers to them?
00:25:37
Speaker
Yeah, no that's it or in case something think the literally it's the first thing I thought because my kids were with me and my husband was with but I thought of my dog so I'm like they're gonna you know they're gonna think I just abandoned them.
00:25:49
Speaker
it's That's exactly right. like the The pet section is just as long as the kids section, which is crazy because effectively for a lot of people, pets are their are their kids. Absolutely. and I can hear you have one because I heard your dog shaking himself.
00:26:05
Speaker
He's under the desk right now. He's actually our director of bargaining at the company. I have two of those too. that They're both right here too, but they're not a bark. Well, they are a bargaining tube as well. They're not right now barking, ah thankfully.
00:26:19
Speaker
So, okay, so now all this then is this preparation. Now what other services or what other tips do you have for people in terms of trying to streamline even the funeral component system?
Tools for funeral planning and conversations about death
00:26:36
Speaker
Yeah, for the funeral end of life, we've got forms that you can download if you want on the website that you can fill out, this is what I want. What I don't think people should do is do nothing. You should start having these conversations. So if you have a lot of time, a state preparation package, I'd say go there if you don't want to have to figure things out. If you have a little bit of time, we have got a checklist called what to do before if someone passes away. There's a checklist what to do after someone passes away in time order and importance order.
00:27:01
Speaker
We have card games that you can buy now so one is called um One More Story and this is great. We were were in the hospital with my dad and he's still totally with it. He's hooked up and beeping with all the the stuff that's you know getting pumped into him.
00:27:16
Speaker
And we're, hey, dad, tell us one more story about this. Hey, tell us one more story about that. What about when you were a kid? Tell us about grandpa. Because when somebody passes away, you lose all of those memories. And I wish we had that day over and over and over and over and over so we could talk about more things. So we came up with six categories, 126 question prompts that you can ask your family, your friends, like literally you can get this and just sit around your your family room at the table and just ask quick questions of people. So get the stories before they go away.
00:27:46
Speaker
And then we also have one that's sort of like the estate preparation package only in card form because that person might not be able to write everything down with you or you might not have the time to do it with them, but it asks, do you have a will? Where is it? Do you have a trust? Where is it? Who helped you do this? um What do you want to have happen at your funeral? Who would you like to speak at your funeral? So again, 126 cards, multiple categories that help you get the quick answers you need um because when that person is gone, you're going to be on that scavenger hunt.
00:28:13
Speaker
So whatever you can do to minimize the scavenger hunt um before something happens is a good idea. The sooner you can do it, the better. And these are absolutely great gifts to get to people as well. So come to the website, barritomark.com. so now They're perfect. and let it And quickly before we go into like the wrapping it up, I want to ask you like in in terms of this, because that's the thing I think people struggle the most is breaking this taboo of talking about death.
00:28:40
Speaker
So even like, if okay, yes, I get this gift and I'm like, oh my goodness, now how do I start asking, because what if your parent is not sick, right? And it's like, how do I start asking this without saying that I'm wishing their death you know their death and you know by saying this? Because there's so many taboos. I mean, I have this podcast for a reason and it's to break these taboos about talking about grief and talking about death. So how can people kind of ease into this conversation or what have been your feedback the feedback you've gotten?
00:29:09
Speaker
I cannot tell you how many people have reached out that have said, how do I talk to my mom and dad about this? like I can't bring it up with them. They think that everything's organized because I i have the the code to the safe right in in air quotes, which really is like a small, small, small piece of the puzzle.
00:29:26
Speaker
So we created a page called start the conversation by aging with your parents and make it super easy. So we've got a quiz that you can take. It takes two and a half minutes. So who's the state? Are you interested? My state or someone else's. If you're calling for your parents, choose someone else's. It'll give you a score from zero to 10.
00:29:43
Speaker
And then if you get a three, if you get a nine, if you get a six, it doesn't matter. You then call up your mom or your dad or whoever you want to talk to and say, oh my goodness, a friend told me about this quiz, I took it. The results aren't as good as I think that they should be. Can we talk about this? And boom, you've got your entry entry because the entry is the hard part once you have that stage set. And if they say, yeah, we'll do it later, we'll do it later, it's up to you to go back and say, hey, you said it's later. Guess what? It's later. We're going to start having this conversation.
00:30:12
Speaker
There you go. Nice and easy. Perfect. Yeah. Sometimes you just have to be a little more bold and frank in these type of issues because it's not then. Yeah. We even give quotes on the website so you can cut and paste the message. Mom, dad, I took a quiz about estate planning. I'm surprised by the results. Next time I see you, can we chat? That's all you need to say.
00:30:32
Speaker
Boom. Hey, mom, dad. I recently completed a quiz on estate planning and found the results quite eye-opening. When are you free to talk? I just took this interesting estate planning quiz and was recently surprised by what he learned. Can we talk about it the next time we get together? I love it. It's like proof of choice makers.
00:30:49
Speaker
so reason yeah like This doesn't need to be hard. It just is really intimidating until you start and then you realize that when you start talking about it, not for everybody, but for a lot of people, it's really cathartic. a People are scared. People want to open up. People want to have conversations, but if they don't have the ability to start that conversation, if you can help them start it for them, it it just it can be a a good result for everyone.
00:31:13
Speaker
Yeah. And even but they might not start it because they're also maybe scared, you know, scared about like how you're going to feel as a kid, right? Having to hear your parents say, by the way, when I die, you know, this is and you're like, no you know, so it's good. It's okay. You can be the bold one. and start the conversation. Whoever's listening to this, you can be the bold one. Now, Adam, any tips that you have or any other words that you want to share with the listeners before we tell them again how to get a hold of you?
Starting estate planning early
00:31:45
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's just reiterating what we've spoken about. It's a complicated process. The sooner you can start, the better. You do not want to do this at the end of of someone's roadmap. And the reason why is you've heard the saying, we've all heard the saying, um nobody on their deathbed is like, Hey, I wish I worked more.
00:32:04
Speaker
It means that they want to spend more time talking to their family. You don't want to have the conversation in the last few days if if you have even advanced notice because a lot of people don't get any advanced notice. Heart attacks, getting hit by a bus, you know draw the analogy. um They don't have advanced notice and if you don't have it,
00:32:22
Speaker
you're in a tough spot. And if you do have it, you don't want to ask somebody their passwords and about their accounts. You want to have an actual conversation with them. So get started with us, with anybody else. You can come to the site, learn, you can go somewhere else. It doesn't matter where you start, but start. Perfect.
00:32:39
Speaker
That was perfect to start. And again, that goes for anybody, any age, it's always good to just start having these, if not just thinking, actually taking action on these items and it will just bring ease to those around us when we're no longer here as well.
00:32:58
Speaker
So Adam Zuckerman, again, this was buriedinwork.com for people to get in. Any other little things? Am I good with that? No, that's great. Kendra, I appreciate the time. And if anybody has any questions, you can reach out to me on the website. Come find us. We're here to help. Love it. Thank you so much, Adam. All right. Take care. Thank you.
00:33:26
Speaker
Thank you again so much for choosing to listen today. I hope that you can take away a few nuggets from today's episode that can bring you comfort in your times of grief. If so, it would mean so much to me if you would rate and comment on this episode. And if you feel inspired in some way to share it with someone who may need to hear this, please do so.
00:33:55
Speaker
Also, if you or someone you know has a story of grief and gratitude that should be shared so that others can be inspired as well, please reach out to me. And thanks once again for tuning into Grief Gratitude and the Gray in Between podcast. Have a beautiful day.