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From Shock to Strength: Heather's Brave Announcement
31 Plays3 days ago
In this heartfelt episode, we sit down while Heather shares a deeply personal update about her recent cancer diagnosis. We talk about the emotions, unexpected challenges, and the strength it takes to face life-changing news. Join us for a conversation full on honesty, hope and resilience.
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Transcript
Introduction & Theme of Gratefulness
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey friends, on today's episode, we have some hard news to share. Somehow we're finding gratefulness in the thick of tough times. And we're excited to hear an update from Heather with some very, very positive news, even through um dark days.
00:00:19
Speaker
Stay tuned.
00:00:23
Speaker
Hello. yeah hi How are you? I think we need to do like um some... bloopers of the things we say, why the countdown's happening, why it's going five to four, three, two, one, because sometimes that's the funniest things that we say.
00:00:40
Speaker
Sometimes we drop an F bomb, don't talk about it at all. Say, oh shit, what are we talking about? I don't know.
00:00:48
Speaker
I apologize. I even remember the last time we did this, do you? I meant to look before we did we hit record to see it when the last time was. It's been a while.
Podcast Dynamics: Humor & Chemistry
00:00:56
Speaker
It's been a while. I actually have some that I need to drop.
00:01:00
Speaker
But, you know, life and sometimes we don't per prioritize the things that feel good to us as women and moms and wives because, yeah, we just take care of everyone else.
00:01:18
Speaker
Well, I love that we do it, even though if y'all listening or watching, we, yeah you know, we, there's really zero prep to this. We literally jump on and just start talking. That is the power of our relationship. I feel like i guys were huge, huge testament to the way that we listen to each other and see each other and support each other.
00:01:41
Speaker
yeah. And super. I know it's been at least, let's see, August 8th,
Heather's Diagnosis & Immediate Response
00:01:49
Speaker
September, October. I know it's been um at least two and a half months because a lot's happened in my life since our last recording.
00:01:55
Speaker
And I know exactly the date specifically that something that I was diagnosed with cancer. So I know it's been at least since early August because all these things have happened since our last recording. What was the date? What was?
00:02:09
Speaker
August 8th. I was walking. think I was on the phone with you, Julie. I was on the phone with you. don't want to cry. Walking in my neighborhood, we were chatting away and I said, this is my doctor. I have to call you back.
00:02:22
Speaker
And they said, they said the words, your biopsy is positive. You have breast cancer. And I went, oh, okay. Do I keep walking? What do I do?
00:02:33
Speaker
What did you do? do i keep walking what do i do so I turned, well, um I said, okay. I said, what's next?
00:02:45
Speaker
They said, do you have any doctors that you want us to set up appointments with? I'm like, no, you just effing told me I have cancer. I didn't have a breast cancer on or oncologist in my back pocket. I appreciate, I mean, I appreciate that they thought that maybe, i don't know.
00:02:57
Speaker
Um, I turned around. i actually, this is terrible. I texted Joey, honey, it's positive. I had breast cancer. i didn't even call him. I just didn't even know what to do with myself.
00:03:08
Speaker
Um, and trying to walk back home and he said, I'm to be there in a second. And then, um, I came back home and just do like how I do, like you would probably do. I just went into, okay, what do we got do?
00:03:19
Speaker
What doctors do I need? Who do I need to go? What time? Where? I just went into solve the problem mode. um And then I had a breakdown later.
00:03:29
Speaker
But, you know, like a lot of us do just go into solution mode. Okay. What's next steps.
New Perspectives & Health Changes
00:03:34
Speaker
yeah So I was telling my I like to call them bonus daughters because i do feel like they're such a bonus in my life. But we were talking last night actually.
00:03:43
Speaker
And I said, these last three months have been some of the hardest in my life. not just because of cancer. There's a lot going on right now, but also, um, some of the best sounds so crazy, but I really feel like that in the midst of a storm and this kid, in my case storms,
00:04:03
Speaker
um there's just so much, right. There's so many rainbows in this. So, yeah. Would you say that like your cancer diagnosis gave you, obviously people were like, Oh, life's precious. Right. But do you think it gave you, you know, clarity on the importance, like where you are placing certain things in your life and and the importance of those things for how you feel about them two months removed?
00:04:31
Speaker
Yeah. it What's interesting is I i thought I was you know, relatively good about that and said other things. I mean, there's so much we can dive into and we will over the next episodes because it's just been a whirlwind of um emotions, clarity, perspective. But yes, um you know, I've always kind of said,
00:04:50
Speaker
life is short because I lost my mom, I lost my sister, both very young. um You know, Joey's dad and sister also, we just have had, like many people, a lot of loss. um So I've always felt like I was relatively good about that, but wow, when you're actually, and I listen, I um i don't wanna minimize what happened, right? Which my my best friend's like, quit minimizing it, Heather, you have can't you had cancer, but small.
00:05:14
Speaker
but um it was small I caught it early. They got it all. As of yesterday, the doctor said, you are cancer free.
00:05:26
Speaker
So I feel um grateful. And and i I think I told you this maybe even you know a couple weeks after when I found out i had cancer, even though i was relatively healthy, a whole nother perspective of health as far as toxicity and um You know I quit doing sugar quit doing dairy quit doing carbs quit doing as much as I could process food I got rid of the plastics anything in my life. It was plastic I took my Keurig and got rid of it because heat and plastic into your coffee coffee went to mold free and I made all the changes that I could Could make that I had control over because there's so much we don't have control over especially in a situation like this um
00:06:08
Speaker
But I, yes, to answer your question, I feel it was weird. i I said to maybe it even to you, can't, I don't even feel like have cancer in my body because I had never felt better. I mean, cutting out sugar, alcohol, um eating clean. i mean, I i lost 12 pounds.
00:06:23
Speaker
I and wasn't trying to lose necessarily any weight, but just the nature of cleaning up what you, how you feel your body. um I felt, I feel, I felt and feel, I mean, now I'm recovering from surgery.
00:06:34
Speaker
But I feel better than ever. And I remember saying a couple weeks before, month before this happened, Heather, get your shit together. And this is me being having a very high standard for myself, right? Get your shit together.
00:06:45
Speaker
Clean up your act. what What are you waiting for to motivate yourself?
00:06:51
Speaker
Okay, I got that motivation. That's cool. You know, so my i but guy I heard you. No, you know, I remember saying, what are you waiting for? Don't wait for that diagnosis because...
00:07:03
Speaker
You we have i can change things now.
Cancer Awareness & Importance of Screenings
00:07:06
Speaker
Now. in the and So we live in that space of potential regret, right? Oh, well, what what if when what what can you do when you're not healthy?
00:07:15
Speaker
Right. What are you going to do then when you don't have the energy when, you know, a major life diagnosis has taken over? So, so true, but i feel I feel grateful. Don't mind the people in the back of my eyes if you can hear them.
00:07:29
Speaker
They're just chatting away in my house. um I do feel grateful that, so but my, you know, there's so many, like I said, there's so many things or I want us to dive into and talk about, and I am no expert. It's literally been two and a half months, so I'm not pretending to be an expert, but my first message that I just want to scream from the mountaintops is check your tatas, whether that's youth-linging yourself, women and men, but women especially,
00:07:52
Speaker
You know, whether it's mammogram, if people that don't want to do mammograms because the radiation, they can do ultrasound, be an advocate. You're not, I know everyone says, I'm so busy. This is a priority. They found it early. It makes a difference. Early detection is so important. My prognosis could have been um a whole lot different if I had not found it when it was teeny tiny, teeny tiny. Yeah.
00:08:14
Speaker
yeah So check them. It's not, it's it's ridiculous. It's people that say I'm too busy. I'm going to go pick them up at their house and drive them to their. it's crazying So yeah but you're not have time for anything when you're fighting for your life.
00:08:29
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, we're all busy, right? We're all busy. I have four kids, work, husband, life. I mean, we're all busy. You have to make time for things like that. And I think there's also, Julie, some, I had a little bit this, but I fight against it, you know, but I do know people that I don't want to know.
00:08:44
Speaker
If I don't know, it won't happen, you know, especially if you're a high risk. By the way, I'm bracket negative. I think even though it's in my family, cancer is my family. um I still was BRCA negative. So even if you think, oh, I'm BRCA negative or I'm not high risk, I still want you checking your tatas. But um yeah, if you just never know. So again, back to doing what we can to control what we can.
00:09:07
Speaker
Yeah. I want to go back real quick. It's funny that you said, you know, you walked in the door after getting the phone call and I immediately got to work on, okay, who do I call?
00:09:19
Speaker
Who's got the he's got some support for me, some doctors, you know? um And that goes back to a call I actually had this morning with someone, one of our incredible friends, Bob. um It was talking about how he was talking specifically about people use the word worry versus concern and how higher thinking, smarter individuals use the word concern.
00:09:43
Speaker
Because when you're concerned, it eliminates a little bit. You can still have emotion behind it, right? I'm concerned for my health, my life, my family, whatever this the scenario is.
00:09:56
Speaker
um But for you specifically, um you're able to take that concern, still have that emotion. and act on it to make sure that you were seeing the best doctors or whoever had the soonest appointment, right?
00:10:11
Speaker
um To be able to attack that. Do you feel like you, um
00:10:18
Speaker
when do you feel like the worry set in? and or did Or did it take over? Were you just kind of in a concerned state if you can kind of separate the two from worry just being, oh my gosh, I'm so worried. I'm so worried. Where concerned is like, I'm concerned. i need to take action.
00:10:33
Speaker
Yeah.
Support & Gratitude in Hardships
00:10:36
Speaker
I'm not sure how to answer that. My stepmom, my bonus mom asked me this morning just a little bit about how I was doing. um Or if I, you know, if I've had these moments of why me or, or you know, worst case scenario or certainly, again, we can dive into this more, but certainly it's been a roller coaster.
00:10:57
Speaker
um
00:10:59
Speaker
i I don't know for some reason, Julie, I don't, and I still have so much digging into myself, right? to It's a again, it's been two and a months. I don't know that I ever thought I'm going to die or, um, or I don't know.
00:11:17
Speaker
I never went grim, if that's the word. I, I went into solution mode again. Like I said before, i went into, does you know, is this something I'm gonna be dealing with rest of my life? Which the answer is obviously yes to a degree.
00:11:30
Speaker
um I mean, I had a moment where i did cry and I thought, oh my God, you know I have cancer. um But I have generally speaking, have been not just in solution mode because at times can be hiding and masking emotions too.
00:11:48
Speaker
I've been, this is gonna sound so cliche and you know me, you know how this is so genuine. I have mostly been in grateful mode.
00:11:57
Speaker
And I can't really explain it other than it's been a little bit of eye opener, obviously. um And I feel better than ever. it's um I look at things and I thought I did before.
00:12:09
Speaker
I thought I did before. And now I look at my husband, I look at my children, I look at my bonus daughters who are going through a lot right now. and I'm gonna cry. um And last night I just said to Gia, I said, I am so grateful for you and these past three months. It's been so hard for them, but yet and just look at how precious time is and and how happy they still are right now and the joy that we're having and a very difficult time. And so i I just feel like in so many ways, I'm so grateful for this.
00:12:42
Speaker
That's awesome. incredibly powerful is there anything else that you would say like from a support aspect over the last two and a half months that also like encourage that gratefulness because i know that's who you are down to your bones um you are you know solution oriented grateful great you know something shitty happens all right Let's look at the bright side. Let's find a solution. What can we take away from this that, you know, can propel us in a positive forward motion?
00:13:15
Speaker
But any other support that like, I guess, really helped you see the silver lining here? Yeah, well, two things this morning because of having children, I thought, where does this come from? not I am not perfect at all. And some days I'm a mess.
00:13:31
Speaker
um But I understand, like, why do i look at things like that mostly? And because I was thinking it about how do I instill that in my children and in others, right? And like I don't have the answer to that just yet.
00:13:42
Speaker
i mean, how much of that's learned, how much of that's innate, and there's so much to explore there. um So I think part of it is who I am. And, and you know, a part of it is because like many of us, a lot has happened in my life and I've gotten to see the hope come out the other side. Like I've gotten to see what that turned into and how I have, my life has been better for it. Or so that, you know, the things like that happen in your life throughout your entire life, the more it happens, the more you see that things can come out okay or better. um So I think part of it is just that I've had enough things happen that have, that,
00:14:19
Speaker
have turned my life around in the positive that I now go there, right? it that is This is possible. this is' It's possible to be better. Part of it is I'm sure my mom and my upbringing, part it is who I surround myself with.
00:14:31
Speaker
um Very genuine, authentic relationships and friendships. And I've had so much support. I've had people I have not talked to and seen in 30 years, i found out that have not just text me or reach out via Facebook, but have written me handwritten notes for my sorority in college.
00:14:48
Speaker
Um, all that stuff matters, you know, all it really does matter. ah We were crying. I was in church with Joey Sunday and started crying. He goes after he said, why you, why are you obviously obvious? Well, going through cancer, but I cry a lot in church and I, you know, I said this Sunday, I thought I cry when I, um, I can be through the toughest thing and not shed a tear. And then the act of kindness and love, um, can make me lose my shit.
00:15:15
Speaker
I like when I just be such kindness and love. I just, it just in that quote from, from the Lord, from friends, from, you know, family members, from someone I haven't seen in 30 years, from people I'm watching up there, love each other.
00:15:30
Speaker
um it's super powerful. And I, I think, God, don't we need that more now than ever? it's commercials for me sometimes a fake commercial where there's actors it's not even genuine i know so funny it triggers it's i mean it's how god created us why right right it's what we yearn for is for um love and kindness and friendship and yeah yeah i get that from my dad too my dad's a big cry baby
00:16:02
Speaker
I wouldn't say you're a crybaby.
Life Reflections & Future Plans
00:16:05
Speaker
That would not be how I'd describe you at all. But I do just think... Yeah, yeah very like, you know, um i think I think it's... We're in a state, too, of where some of that is wearing off on younger generations. Hallelujah.
00:16:21
Speaker
So we're exposed to too much and it's, you know, cynical and it's my way or the highway and it's like... Entitlement. Yeah. Yeah, break it down. We're all We were all created and his eyes and were all beautiful. and Yeah.
00:16:40
Speaker
Yeah. It's hard. I can kind of see where, you know, younger generations are going to have to fight for that connection so much harder. and And that softness in your heart.
00:16:52
Speaker
I would say like the, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah How have you been? Enough about me.
00:17:06
Speaker
Enough about me. I just got the most incredible news yesterday. um
00:17:13
Speaker
I've got this weather. I'm aerible Allergies, whatever it is. I'm good. I'm just in a state of, it's funny. I saw a meme the other day. It was like, when you're in your mid thirties and you're thinking about, you know, running away and starting a farm. And I'm like, should I do that? Is that me? i'm We're good. We, the girls are having an incredible school year. My gosh, we are just so blessed at our school and and our community.
00:17:42
Speaker
And, you know, we're, just both kind of plugging away at work and um i got a new car i know that's very exciting because i've seen your old car quite a few times it's literally time i got a minivan and people are like oh my gosh like what what at what point did you say that you wanted a minivan and i was like i've kind of always wanted a minivan um for me it's like peak motherhood of driving a minivan um have them love them you love your minivan right
00:18:15
Speaker
I love it. But people are like, oh, well, once you get it, like when you have kids, I'm like, no i I wanted, I wanted this. yeah just have That how secure you are in yourself.
00:18:26
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I am very secure. I can walk in any van. What the best? and I picked up, um, I went and got tiny tattoos with some of my gym friends.
00:18:37
Speaker
It's a weave. It's me, Stoney and the girls. Um, so i guess who drove all of their asses to the tattoo place in our minivan.
00:18:52
Speaker
Love it. But we've been, I mean, we are just so, so incredibly blessed. And, you know, again, I, feel like for me right now, it's what does my future look like for my career? And, um, you know, just putting a lot of prayer and thought into that and,
00:19:10
Speaker
I'm it for um just openness to what God has in store for us. It's weird when you,
00:19:22
Speaker
you know, like I'm done having kids, you know, there's, I don't know. It's, it's weird. I felt like my whole younger, like early twenties, it was like, i want to get married and have kids.
00:19:35
Speaker
that was really my only focus because of my fertility journey also. Like it was this peak in my life that one felt unattainable because I don't have a uterus.
00:19:49
Speaker
Um, and then also had the highest of importance of like things to accomplish in my life. Yeah. To cherish or I don't want to make it sound like it's a checklist, but, um,
00:20:04
Speaker
So, yeah, I feel like I'm just doing some soul searching a little bit, too, because it's like, all right. And then it's like, okay well, guess what? all that All that crap that you prayed for, God has blessed you. so sit down.
00:20:20
Speaker
and enjoy it.
00:20:23
Speaker
Which I am. And just making sure that I'm being very open to, you
00:20:32
Speaker
you know, what. Yeah. what my future does look like. So yeah.
00:20:38
Speaker
I love you for that. love you for always wanting to achieve, but I do think you do a pretty job of sitting in the present. Thank you. Sometimes I think I do. And then sometimes I'm like, what else, what else is it going on? What else is there?
00:20:51
Speaker
Well, welcome to life. hi I'm a grownup now, uh, 35 years old. Yeah. Right.
Sharing Personal Experiences & Faith Journey
00:21:00
Speaker
It's a constant, um,
00:21:02
Speaker
and free it's kind of resetting ourselves, protecting ourselves, saying, where am I? What am I doing? Why am I doing it What's my motivation? Someone, I think maybe you, but talked about, you know i didn't say anything cancer until think it was last week.
00:21:14
Speaker
And then I did it backwards because i did a little video about my excitement around my um pockets in my pants and then it got blown up by, oh my God, what what do you mean? You have cancer? Oh, I guess I should have done that post first.
00:21:27
Speaker
But I- i am heather Well, i don't know I'd go that far, but um definitely yeah I would not say it's even close to being whatever viral means. You know, I'm not very good in social media, is probably why I did it backwards.
00:21:41
Speaker
And Instagram was like, your video is too long. I'm like, I don't even know what that means, but whatever. um But I, you know, I hesitate. And so many people said, why? you know I didn't know. I didn't know.
00:21:52
Speaker
You know, I mean, some people do, I guess, but I just wasn't sure how besides my closest friends how to tell people. And I didn't to what you were just saying. reason I didn't fill this up is I did.
00:22:03
Speaker
I didn't want to come on there. I didn't want to have the wrong motivations. I didn't want i wasn't ready to be like, oh, my god I'm so sorry. People saying that it wants, you know, people feeling sorry for me. I didn't want be, well, I didn't want my social media posts to be self-serving in any way or be perceived as self-serving in any way.
00:22:21
Speaker
So I really just prayed and waited till I felt like, okay, this is something I want to share. And so I did it, you know, I did it backwards, but I did it when I felt like it was going to be helpful and for the right reasons, you know, so back to kind of checking in with yourselves and,
00:22:35
Speaker
I just don't ever want, I always say to God, what do you want me to do with this? I don't want this to be a selfish motive, you know, motive behind any action I ever do. I want it to be because it's purposeful and glorifies him.
00:22:49
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And sort serving others. And that's something that you're, you know, you're, you were created to help others and serve others. And, um this is something that was put on your,
00:23:04
Speaker
journey, um, through like this crazy life we live, um, to be able to do that. I think we're all put on this light on this earth to serve others. It's how we use to serve them.
00:23:17
Speaker
And I know for a long time, I felt like I needed this big stage, you know, that I was meant to be on this big stage to serve, to, you know, give hope, joy, to feed in. And ah really got it. God, it's not necessarily God's plan for us. Our our plan, his plan could be that I say one thing to one person that makes a difference in that. And I served.
00:23:34
Speaker
But I don't definitely don't want to stop at that. But I think sometimes we get caught up in a bigger picture of what serve means or looks like. And we just need to do what's right in that moment and share where it's helpful for the right reasons. And that's awesome.
00:23:50
Speaker
Yeah. Not worry about the audience size and yeah, build bigger tables. I love that. We could run with that.
00:24:01
Speaker
I know, look at this. Here we go. There's a lot we'll dig into in future podcasts, but um you know I've talked a lot about doing something on your on your fertility journey, but certainly my cancer journey and all that I've learned and I'd love to get a dig into, like I've struggled in functional doctor and again, never pretending to be an expert, but um I do think little things we can do I met people, some people say, and I probably said at some point, oh, well, something's going to kill us.
00:24:30
Speaker
You know, I mean, I, I, I don't know if I said that, but I, I, I may have, and certainly people in my life have said something's going to kill us. Meaning like, you know, going what it matter if I microwave my food? Something's going to do. But, um, and I do, but I do believe, I do believe people that are super, super healthy still get disease and die. So I'm not saying that, but I think there's some things we can control um,
00:24:53
Speaker
if we know it's not helping our bodies, our minds, physically, mentally, spiritually, then why would we do them? Why wouldn't we change that? So I love to dig into that.
00:25:04
Speaker
Dig into our my faith that the new um, relationship I found with the Lord and faith and how that came about. I'd love to dig into that because that's been a story in this too, which is not unusual. I'm sure when someone through something like I went through, but how, how we got to where we are now is really, it's through, it's through my girls, my bonus girls again.
00:25:24
Speaker
So I'd love to dig into that some as well. And just how much faith has, has meant to be, even though it's been, um, a roller coaster as well. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's so important. Um,
00:25:37
Speaker
I'm so proud of you. I'm so thankful to know you and um see you in two weeks. We're going to be together. we'll do a podcast when we're together as well.
00:25:49
Speaker
Absolutely. Absolutely. So more to come on Heather's journey and where we're at and what the rest of the year looks like. We are going to commit to this and to each other.
00:26:02
Speaker
and we will see you guys on the next episode.
00:26:11
Speaker
Thanks for spending time with us today. God, it feels really good to be back. Glad we could show what we've been up to. Obviously, life can change in an instant, but community, faith, connection can only make a difference. So ah we can't wait to bring you more real conversations, maybe some more guests and some hopefully a few laughs along the way. So be sure to follow us on Classy on Occasion, wherever you listen to your podcast and on your social media and Instagram.
00:26:36
Speaker
Until next time, stay classy.