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Sex Queens Unveiled: A Journey of Embracing the Dark, Exploring Sexual Healing and Experiencing Kundalini Awakening - with Katrina & Ellie | EP 11
94 Plays1 year ago
In this episode I'm joined by 2 of my incredible clients Katrina DeAngelis & Ellie Petschek to share their journeys in my sacred sexuality group program Sex Queen.
In this episode we cover:
- The power of reclaiming your Dark Feminine Energy
- Sex Magic
- Overcoming shame and healing sexual trauma
- Kundalini Activation Process and how this can enhance your sexual energy connection
- The power of the pussy
- Orgasms
- The magic of healing in a group of women
- Katrina & Ellie share their own transformative experience
This is a powerful episode! Note that we did experience a slight audio issue at the beginning of this episode,.
If you’re ready to reclaim your pleasure, power and femininity then you’ll love Sex Queen, my signature sacred sexuality group program for you if you want to experience MORE intimacy, MORE orgasms and step into your sexual empowerment era that will help you embody more bold, confident and magnetic energy in every area of your life, join the free waitlist to get all of the details.
Connect with Katrina DeAngelis on Instagram.
Connect with Ellie Petschek on Instagram.
Connect with Steph on Instagram.
Connect with Steph on TikTok.
Don’t forget to leave a review about the podcast and then tag me on Instagram to receive a special gift from me as a thank you!
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Transcript
Introduction to Unfiltered Femme Podcast
00:00:04
Speaker
Welcome to the Unfiltered Femme podcast. Your new world to get the lowdown on all things pleasure, sexuality, the mysterious female body, dating, relationships and everything you need to know to step into your most unfiltered, unapologetic, empowered and turned on self.
00:00:22
Speaker
I'm Steph Morris, a love, sex and intimacy coach and along with some incredibly fabulous guests, I'm here to spill the tea on those topics that are typically hush hush. The juicy things that you want to know all about that have maybe been a little bit too shy to talk about.
00:00:39
Speaker
Think of me as your fearless guide and partner in crime, creating a space for the unfiltered, the raw, the authentic chats where nothing is off limits and there's no such thing as too much. The Unfiltered Femme podcast is all about breaking down those walls and celebrating what it means to be an unfiltered, feminine being.
00:00:58
Speaker
I hope you're ready for a wild ride. Let's dive right in.
Focus on Inner Sex Queens with Ellie and Katrina
00:01:02
Speaker
Welcome back to this episode of the Unfiltered Fam podcast. I am so excited for this episode because I have not one, but two fabulous guests with me here today. We're going to be diving into a beautiful conversation all around the journey of embodying our inner sex queen.
00:01:20
Speaker
So this conversation is with two amazing clients of mine. I'm going to introduce them here in a second and we'll be talking about their individual journeys. They're actually friends who joined the program and didn't know each other. Sex Queen is my group program, helping women reclaim their pleasure, their power, their pussy, their femininity, and their sexuality. It's such a powerful and fun group healing journey that we all
00:01:44
Speaker
go on together. So we're going to dive into this. I'll share more about it and what this journey looks like. You'll be hearing a real raw unfiltered conversation from two sex queens about their journey. So I'll start by introducing Ellie, who is here with me today. She is a CAP facilitator. So CAP stands for Kundalini Activation Process. It is a very powerful modality. She's going to share a little bit about that. But Ellie, come say hi. How are you doing today?
00:02:10
Speaker
Hi, I am so excited to be here as well. Yeah, just really excited to be here with you, be here with Katrina as well. Kind of feels a little bit like we're back in the program in Sex Queen, so I'm getting all the vibes, so yeah, feeling really good.
00:02:25
Speaker
all the sexy, the powerful vibes. So before we introduce our second guest, I'd love for you to share a little bit around who you are, what you do, and your modality cap. Share a little bit around that, and then your journey of how you came into this program, and then we'll have our second guest come out and share.
Misconceptions and Transformations in Sex Coaching
00:02:44
Speaker
Amazing. So yeah, I facilitate CAP, which you mentioned is Kundalini Activation. And it's a really powerful energy transmission that awakens your Kundalini energy or your Shakti energy. And it's energy that exists inside every single one of us. But I really feel that it's so powerful, especially for women.
00:03:07
Speaker
because this part of us is so closed off and numb for most of our lives. So activating your Kundalini energy is rising, all of that Shakti, all of that life force energy within you to start feeling in your body. And the more that you are active in your own Kundalini energy, the more you can start to feel your sexual energy for sure. And just more of an essence of you, you just come back to you.
00:03:33
Speaker
And so I think doing this work, I've always been curious as well into like, how does that translate? And, and you know, in combination with doing this work, wanting to get more deep into some of the
00:03:49
Speaker
sexual, you know, sacred sexuality, sexual, you know, trauma that I've, you know, been holding my whole life and then done, did some things with you in the past. And then when this came up, it just felt like the right time. We can get more into it, but it was, you know, sort of stemmed originally from a relationship that I was in and wanting to
00:04:10
Speaker
improve sort of our sex life and then opened up a whole can of worms of all these other amazing things and actually ended up being this incredibly deep and transformative journey within myself. So that's a brief introduction.
00:04:27
Speaker
Thank you for sharing that. I'm so, so excited to dive deeper into your journey, into this amazing modality and how that impacted your experience. It's something that you introduced me to Cap and freaking love it. And now it's a big part of what I love too.
00:04:43
Speaker
tap into for healing and really connecting with myself. And it has also transformed my own experience with my sexuality, my sexual energy. So we'll touch on that, but let's introduce our second amazing, fabulous guest, Katrina. Katrina is a culture and leadership experience designer and coach. Come on out, say hi. How are you doing?
00:05:04
Speaker
Hello! Yeah! Oh my gosh, it's so, so fun to be here with you both and just to have such amazing, fun, juicy, playful conversation. Yeah, it's funny as you were, you know, talking, I realized I was trying to pinpoint like my journey to Sex Queen as well and it started off
00:05:25
Speaker
Working stuff with you one to one on all things like not necessarily just within the sexual realm but within learning what my inner voice sounds like or getting to some of the experiences that have shaped who i am today and some of those blocks and i think the more that you uncover and the more.
00:05:43
Speaker
that i was uncovering in that i was unfolding and learning about myself i realized that. There is just so much opportunity and potential that i was labeling as a hindrance
Embracing Feminine Authenticity and Vulnerability
00:05:56
Speaker
before i'm so really shifting from this is something that is holding me back.
00:06:02
Speaker
within my confidence, within my sexuality or sensuality to actually know this is an opportunity that I get to explore and see what comes from that. And so that was the journey into this type of work. And it's so funny when I think about even the work that I do, it's very much more in the leadership
00:06:23
Speaker
and personal development realm. And I think that there's still so much overlap. It is coming back to yourself. It's your confidence. It's your self-expression. It's creativity. It's being true to yourself. And authenticity is a big word that I talk about a lot with my clients. And so even in a corporate leadership or an entrepreneurial setting, whatever it may be,
00:06:49
Speaker
Everything that we talk about today and that stuff that you talk about all the time is so relevant to that world. And so it's been amazing to both unlock those experiences within me, but then also see how that can also support the work that I do and see those through lines throughout everything else. Thank you for sharing that because that perfectly summarizes the reason why I love this work so much.
00:07:16
Speaker
People often hear the work around sexuality and the things I do and they immediately think, oh gosh, I've actually had people say, I feel sorry for people who need help in the realm of sex or who need a sex coach. And it's like, no, you're actually not understanding the depth of what this is. Of course, there's the work too.
00:07:34
Speaker
have better orgasms or have orgasms perhaps at all to relieve pain, to enhance our sexual experiences because we are sexual beings as humans. That is a huge part of our experience and we have so much pleasure. We have sex for pleasure as well as procreation. That is amazing and we all deserve that and that's part of human life and also
00:07:58
Speaker
People don't fully realize that when you dive into this and you reclaim that part of yourself, you reclaim your sexuality, you clear that lifetime and in some cases generations and ancestral lineages of shame, of sexual shame, of trauma, of
00:08:16
Speaker
programming and disconnection and rejection that we have specifically as women around our bodies and our pleasure and our pussy and our sexuality, when we reclaim that and step into that as a part of us as women and human beings, that's where we come home to ourselves. That's where we really embody that wholeness that we already have, but we really feel that and
00:08:40
Speaker
I see this time and time again, it's my own experience and also with women, with my clients. That's where we really start to embody our authentic self-expression and we really own who we are and we turn up the dial on our authenticity. And that's where we come out fire and flames burning like.
00:08:56
Speaker
Hello world this is me take me or leave me this is what i want and i'm going for it and truly it's women who are embodied in sexuality and sexuality who are doing that who are making shit happen in this world and who are changing so many lives i really believe this so thank you for sharing that and i would love for you both let's start maybe with ellie for you to touch on what are some of the.
00:09:16
Speaker
ways that you felt you have shifted and opened and transformed. You can share whatever you feel comfortable with in the realm, sexual and pleasure, but also just you as a woman and as a human being through this journey.
00:09:30
Speaker
Wow, to touch on some of the ways, I feel like there have been so many. It's really incredible to think about, and it's exactly what you said. Doing this work just unlocks the work for everything. It connects to everything. I mentioned before, I really came into the program with pretty much one thing in mind, like, oh, improve the sex life I have with my partner.
00:09:56
Speaker
and then like that was like basically completely like nothing that I did even though that did improve as like a byproduct of it but it's just like actually the work that we did I had no idea really what I was getting myself in for but it was it was just such deep self-work and I think one of the biggest things was like I didn't realize how disconnected I was with my my pussy myself like
00:10:20
Speaker
Even the inner parts of me, my womb, my cervix, all of this deep work that we did, I didn't even know how disconnected I was until I connected. And then once I had that connection, everything started to unravel and change. It's like, oh, now I know myself more. I had increased confidence just in my daily life. I felt like I could speak my voice and I was happy for it to be heard.
00:10:47
Speaker
I felt like I could be seen as authentically who I am. I mean, Katrina, you mentioned it too. Authenticity is such a big, huge thing that I think everyone struggles with. We all look at that other person like, wow, I wish I could be as authentic as that person. They show up really as themselves. And we can always be more of our authentic selves. And I think that's a big place that we hide because we're not connected to ourselves.
00:11:14
Speaker
that one of the biggest things for me that I feel like I got from sex cream was connecting more to myself so that I could be more
Power of Kundalini Activation and Sexual Energy
00:11:22
Speaker
myself and like even playing a lot with the dark feminine and the shadows and connecting to that and instead of being like oh I'm just gonna hide
00:11:30
Speaker
that dark feminine side and just hide those shadows down because no one wants to see the angry woman or the dark side or you know the sad things no one wants to see that but it's like actually embracing all of that as just like that's just part of me and because it is and when you try and hide it it's it's it's gonna come out in some other way so embracing all of it in like a really beautiful way and all of that just yeah helped me so much to to to be who I am yeah
00:11:58
Speaker
Thank you for sharing that. Anything to add, Katrina, about your experience? Yeah, well, I mean, I second all of that, definitely. And, you know, one thing I was reflecting on to even just build off of that was coming back to my inner guidance, so being less guided by the external world and more guided by my internal world and listening to what that is like for me.
00:12:22
Speaker
And I think that also builds on knowing my body more. I would get physical symptoms for years from trauma that I had when I was younger. And I wasn't able to connect the dots. And through doing this work, I connected so many dots that just led me to understand my body so much more, release pain, release different trauma in my body, listen to myself more,
00:12:49
Speaker
And really taking ownership I think was a big one over my own experience and within my relationships as well. I think this was such a powerful part of my relationship and my journey in partnership. Wow, thank you so much for sharing that. There are so many nuggets of wisdom from what you just dropped there, especially around not looking to a relationship to fix you or to
00:13:14
Speaker
Fill the void in many cases, we're looking externally for these other people to fill us up or as people will say, my other half, the other half to make me whole.
00:13:25
Speaker
Like we already are whole and I love this approach and you are such a testament to the power of this work and you taking that full responsibility and going all in and I'm really excited with where you're at now in your life and in your relationship. It just shows how this work freaking works when you take that ownership and when you go all in and you say no more to the
00:13:50
Speaker
the shit. I already am whole and I'm going to approach relationships and it's really from that place of desire versus need. I desire a person. I already am whole. I can already meet my own needs. I have the superpowers within me and I'm tapped into them and I'm going to desire and find that person from this place that is freaking powerful and clearly has worked for you. So I'm celebrating that for you.
00:14:16
Speaker
So shifting gears a little bit here, I would love to know what were your initial thoughts, fears, or hesitations as you are embarking or making that decision about joining a group program with other women that was called Sex Queen?
00:14:32
Speaker
Yeah. So yeah, that's a great question. I think, and it's funny, I think I had so many conversations with you Steph, especially cause we were working one-to-one and I was like, Oh, I don't know if I want to do the group. Like I'm, will I be able to share things? Like you just have all these hesitations and fears come up because it's vulnerable, right? Like you're most likely going to go through something or discover something or share something that you've maybe never shared with anybody before. And maybe you've never even realized before and
00:15:00
Speaker
That very thing that probably was the fear that I had or that would have been the hesitation to not wanting to do a group program was the very thing that actually was such a part of the transformation because having that experience in a group.
00:15:18
Speaker
first of all i realize like so many of the things i were experiencing were either very common or people have shared similar experiences or even if somebody had a completely different experience than me it it helps to normalize the fact that we all have unique experiences and there's no right or wrong there's no one-way fits all there's no
00:15:38
Speaker
you know, there's no and there's it just eliminated all of the shame really that I had prior. And just to be in such a beautiful community and group of people who are supportive and yeah, is just is honestly a very is a very healing and beautiful experience. So the very thing I was probably hesitant about was the very thing I maybe even needed most. Yeah, I can echo that, especially about
00:16:04
Speaker
about doing it in a group because as I mentioned like I really came into it wanting or looking for a solution to this specific problem in my life and like one of the hesitations I had was you know do I want to share all this with a group of women that I don't know
00:16:23
Speaker
which obviously as funnily enough as it turns out I did know Katrina on on the program that we didn't even know that either of us were joining until the first day was like what are you doing here what are you doing here but actually sometimes that can also be hard like when you know someone it's one thing when you bear your soul to strangers but when you have a friend it's like oh do I really want to go deep into my sexual trauma with someone I know but luckily
00:16:49
Speaker
that was not an issue and I but I did really feel that in a group as well you realize like when you're being vulnerable so is everybody else and so therefore we're all holding each other in that vulnerability like the more vulnerable I am the more vulnerable someone else feels and then like we held each other and that's what formed part of the healing was like was us all holding each other
00:17:13
Speaker
in this sisterhood, like healing these ancestral traumas, healing, like secretary and like things that we, what I was going through is the same thing that someone else was going through and someone else.
Group Support and Safe Exploration in Programs
00:17:23
Speaker
It's like, oh, I'm not alone in this. Actually, we're all doing this work together and we're all, you know, healing the same things.
00:17:30
Speaker
but i'll also add to that that just that the fears about joining something called sex queen like even though i always thought of myself as someone who's quite sexually liberal and you know pretty open i've always been the one in my group of friends who's very happy to talk about sex and this and that but it was like i think the difficulty was being in a relationship and then
00:17:53
Speaker
saying to my partner, yeah, I'm joining this program called Sex Queen. And he's like, what? I actually don't even think I told him the name of it in the beginning. I was like, I'm just joining this women's program online. You know, just women's stuff. And then, and actually, the more I got into the program, the more I was comfortable telling him all about it.
00:18:12
Speaker
And being like, yes, Sex Queen. I've got my Sex Queen call tonight. You're in the other room. Leave me alone. But in the beginning, it was hard. I love it so much. And part of the reason of the name is the edge that it creates and the journey that women will go on starting of, okay, I'm joining this program called Sex Queen. And like you said, by the end, it's like,
00:18:33
Speaker
sex queen woohoo like I'm embodied in my inner sex queen and there's a reason why it is called that and it's funny when I was actually concepting this program part of me was like will people join this program with that name or is it too edgy for most women? I was like no this is actually perfect because it really does encapsulate what it means to
00:18:58
Speaker
embrace our sensuality and our sexuality. And it doesn't just mean that we're a queen at sex though. Sure, that's part of it, but it really is the archetype, that queen archetype of being in our queen archetype is really being embodied and owning our sexuality and sensuality. And that's what we see when you go through this program is you, you own all of that. You're no longer afraid to be seen in that. And that can be such a challenge for women is to be seen as a sexual
00:19:28
Speaker
being to be seen as sexy because the society that we live in there is this slut shaming, this victim shaming, this woman shaming sort of culture that we grew up in where we are taught we are internalized that our sexuality is wrong and is bad and is problematic for
00:19:48
Speaker
specifically men and that creates, can create trauma for many, many, many women and many humans. And this is us reclaiming that and it's for us. It's not for another person. It's really beautiful. And this is what I love when women come in to the program or into this work, desiring to enhance that intimacy in relationship. Like you said, Ellie, that is such a beautiful by-product.
00:20:12
Speaker
The work that happens though is so much more individual and empowering and just incredible for the women because it is all about them. And when you transform inside of yourself and you create that shift for you, of course the by-product is going to be better sex, better orgasms, deeper intimacy in partnership with somebody else or in dating or intimacy. So I love this so much. And last thing I'll share on this is.
00:20:41
Speaker
It's so intentional. Doing this work in a group of women is very intentional. I believe that me doing this work one-on-one is not as powerful as doing it in a group for everything, all of the reasons that you have just shared. There is this extra layer. We can do it individually, but if we're not sharing that transformation, then it doesn't, there's that kind of missing link.
00:21:05
Speaker
of the true embodiment and when we can share this and go on this journey together and be seen around other women, the sisterhood healing that takes place is so profound and it really is incredible and that's why my focus for my work is really group experiences, retreats,
00:21:25
Speaker
bringing women together because I've just seen time and time again, the evidence that it just adds to the experience and the healing can't be replicated in a one-to-one sort of format, even though that's great and that's powerful to work on specific things that are arising. And I love adding on the one-to-one for many women in this work, but doing it in a group, it's fun. It is so fun.
00:21:52
Speaker
So thank you for sharing all of that. I would love to know, is there a favorite moment, perhaps from a live workshop or from, and or from a practice, like there might be separate favorite moments that you can each both recall, Ellie, starting with you. Yeah. I mean, for sure. And I, I've mentioned this to you before, Steph, sex magic, for me, it was all about the sex magic. That was, was really something
00:22:21
Speaker
spectacular like in the truest sense nothing I've really ever quite experienced before and it's something that has stayed with me that I've thought about I've practiced since we did it live on the call and on obviously the practices as well but I would say particularly for me in that I work with Kundalini energy that I work with energy it's
00:22:44
Speaker
it's what I do, it's what I live and breathe. And so being able to like take your own energy, like transform your own Kundalini energy, your own life force energy, and take that from this really powerful place where it resides in your body, you know, around your sacral shock, around your, you know, where your sexual energy lives, but taking that really powerful sexual energy and alchemizing that into
00:23:11
Speaker
something higher and alchemizing it through your chakras out through your crown like into this huge powerful manifestation kind of awe but is it was just the feeling of it is incredible but also the power behind it and I think it was just another like realization of how much power we have as human beings
00:23:34
Speaker
as women that we hold and we have so much power and we as women really like diminish our own power all the time and so for it to feel that in your body and then let that like shoot out into the world not only was the practice amazing but i feel like i was able to thread that into other parts of my life it was just like i'm gonna take all of my energy and put it out there and be seen and just be in that power
00:23:59
Speaker
And to feel that is like knowing it. And then once you know it and you've experienced it, you feel powerful. You feel like you can do anything.
Journey into Dark Feminine and Empowerment
00:24:08
Speaker
Yeah, that was definitely my favorite. Thank you for sharing that. And I'd love to just dive a little deeper here as we're on this thread around the power of pairing the Kundalini activation with the sexuality work. Just to share so that everybody knows, Ellie is now coming into the Sex Queen program to share the magic of CAP with the women in this round and will definitely be in all future rounds of Sex Queen because I really see the power of merging this together to allow women to
00:24:38
Speaker
more easily access their sexual energy through the modality of CAP. And she's also going to be at my next retreat, attending the retreat and also giving us a beautiful transmission of Kundalini activation. So that again, the women can
00:24:53
Speaker
harness this energy, activate it, use it for healing. It's incredibly healing. So can you just share a little bit around how this works and how you have found the coupling of this Kundalini activation with sexuality work to be almost like the power combo? Yeah, it is. It's like it's the power couple. It is. It's the power couple. But it is in that this work really is all about actually
00:25:23
Speaker
finding that balance or creating that balance of the masculine and the feminine. So cap itself is Kundalini activation, as well as accessing higher consciousness, which is like the masculine is the Shiva and the Shakti.
00:25:35
Speaker
And we have both sides of it. And while obviously in sex queen and in this kind of work, we are tapping more into the feminine, but we also need to balance that with the masculine as well, which is within us. But the Kundalini energy, it's your life force energy. It's your birthright to have that energy exist in your body. It literally exists inside all of us, but it's been numb for most of our lives.
00:26:03
Speaker
And, you know, Kundalini activation has been around for thousands of years. I mean, you know, the ancient schools of Tantra work with Kundalini activation. That's why it makes sense that when people hear Tantra, they think like, oh, sex, you know, sex and Tantra. But Tantra has, yes, there's like one part of Tantra is going down the sexual path. But the other part of Tantra is just healing with Kundalini activation. So
00:26:27
Speaker
They do go hand in hand and they stem from the same place. But the reason that they're so powerful together is because your Kundalini energy lives between your first and second chakra. It's down there around where your sacral chakra is, where your sexual energy and your creativity live. And it's literally your life force energy. It's the power of creation.
00:26:48
Speaker
It's where you, you know, us women create from, from our wombs, from our cervix, from that area. And so when you can activate that energy, it just like she weights the feeling of your sexual energy. They kind of go hand in hand. And that's why often, you know, when we're in, in the sexual experience, when we, when we orgasm, we, you know, we go into that place that's really out of our minds.
00:27:13
Speaker
completely in our bodies. You feel that rush of energy and that is the Kundalini awakening. So yeah, by activating your Kundalini energy through this really powerful transmission, it does mean it's so much easier to tap into that sexual energy. I guess, you know, for me, for sure, getting into every practice that we did, I noticed from the sharings, you know, from other women, the more we got into the work,
00:27:39
Speaker
people were getting deeper into it but i know that in some of the practices like straight away this boom i'm just like i'm in it because my kundalini is so activated just like i'm already feeling that energy and and that's why they go so hand in hand because you have that activation
00:27:54
Speaker
And as soon as you can get activated so easily, then you can just start going really deep into that. I really agree. And that's been my own experience as well. Having gone on the journey of healing around sexual healing and embracing my sexuality and activating my sexual energy.
00:28:12
Speaker
And being able to experience things like full body orgasms, energetic orgasms, all the different types of orgasms. I got there without the Kundalini, without the cap. And once I started to do the cap, I saw how much quicker things get activated in the body. And so that's why I'm excited to bring this in for women because it really just collapses the time that I'm finding women
00:28:38
Speaker
can then experience these really powerful types of orgasm and their sexual energy. Because our sexual energy is the most powerful energy that we have access to, and we can transmute this energy into other forms to heal parts of our body for our creativity, for manifestation, for all of these different
00:28:56
Speaker
elements of life and when we can turn it on quicker, I think it also gives people a boost of, oh, I can get there quicker, which is not always about that. We have to commit to the journey and it is a lifelong journey though. That's why I love this work so much. And now when I'm doing breath work or doing a sexual practice or a pleasure practice, feeling that Kundalini just alive within me, like I can be doing a sound healing and I have this beautiful Kundalini activation
00:29:22
Speaker
and a wild energetic orgasm from about five or 10 minutes of sound healing. A powerful sound healing nonetheless, though, it's wild. And I definitely can put that down to the work that I have done with you and Cap as well. So I love this so much, and I thank you for...
00:29:39
Speaker
Going through this journey, you have the experience and then coming back in to share this with other women because it really is so incredible and so powerful and so healing. So thank you and roll on the retreat for the in-person as well. It's going to be so good. So Katrina, are you open to sharing? Was there a favorite moment from the whole experience? What comes up for you when you think about that?
00:30:05
Speaker
Yeah, one of my favorite moments, I think actually it might have been sex magic, but it was the journey into the underworld. I can't remember if that was exactly the same.
00:30:18
Speaker
Yeah, so I think that was really powerful for me because I think I had a lot of shame maybe around the dark feminine and wanting to see myself in the light or wanting other people to see me in the light possibly denied that part of me and denied the shadow aspects of some of my
00:30:38
Speaker
yeah, some of my being. And so that coupled with a few moments through the experience, which is actually really interesting, because as I hear you both speak and Ellie, the experience with CAP, it was it for you, it's like very much like you had that activation and that
00:30:54
Speaker
enhanced your experience. I think on the flip side of that, my journey was almost getting to a place of allowing myself to feel so that I could be activated because in the process of over the years numbing myself or I was completely shut down really so I couldn't really feel much of anything.
00:31:15
Speaker
I had to understand that more and realize and understand where that was coming from and be with myself and allow myself to feel all different types of things so that I could have that ecstatic feeling and expression and have that within my body. And one thing that I think is really interesting and was super powerful throughout the experience was
00:31:40
Speaker
I wasn't i didn't want to feel negative things so like i would go numb for years but because i was not allowing myself to feel more negative things i wasn't allowing myself to feel pleasure either or or any positive experiences and so i'm really unlocking that experience in such a safe container allowed me to.
00:32:02
Speaker
Feel things that I never thought I would feel and like have an orgasm which I never had before and you know just Have trends have the energy of that you would get from like a meditation or breathwork and kind of that tingling in your body but actually being able to do something with that and Have that ripple out into different areas of my life, which I had never experienced before so
00:32:29
Speaker
that was super proud. I think that was after session one or two that I had my first orgasm and I was like, what the fuck? I was like, why did it take so many years? And I thought that I honestly just never would. I'm celebrating you so much and thank you for being so open and sharing that. It's so incredible. And
00:32:47
Speaker
I think really inspiring for so many women because everybody's at different journeys with orgasm, with their sexuality and hearing real life women sharing their experiences is so powerful. And this is what we do in this container. This is what we do in sex screen. We talk openly about these sorts of things.
00:33:07
Speaker
And I love that you have both now touched on the dark feminine, that shadow work and the journey into the underworld. It is really powerful because it's not something that we're taught to embrace and celebrate as human beings. We are in a society where anger and rage and frustration are seen as bad because they are being harnessed in not healthy ways.
00:33:31
Speaker
And so in the society, people who are embodied in their anger are displaying that in toxic, unhealthy, and oftentimes dangerous ways.
Embracing Pain for Growth and Pleasure
00:33:41
Speaker
Whereas when we embrace the parts of our darkness and embrace our shadows and bring them to light in a conscious way and in a supportive and in a sacred way, it's powerful. That is how we become whole. And our anger is not inherently bad.
00:33:55
Speaker
It's just having the healthy tools and outlets to connect with it. And just like you said, we do have to embrace the pain and embrace the darkness to make space for the light. We live in a world of duality. We need both. They're both actually good and healthy and part of the human experience. And when we cut ourselves off from the pain and from the darkness, we are cutting ourselves off to so much life.
00:34:21
Speaker
and so much light and so much joy. And so thank you for sharing that that was your experience because the more we can embody and embrace the darkness, the more is available to us on the other side, which how beautiful is that? Yeah. And one thing Steph, because you said something that I think is so important too, and I wanted to add it,
00:34:43
Speaker
I think I avoid it and maybe other people experience this too, but you avoid feeling pain because you think it's going to be unpleasant or bring up a lot or whatever it is, fill in the blank of why we avoid it. But I think what I learned was actually experiencing that allowed me to feel so much
00:35:00
Speaker
More connected pleasure so Authenticity like in my relationship openness vulnerability like it gave me so many gifts that I was denying those gifts from emerging because I just didn't want to feel Pain, but it wasn't it actually it didn't turn out to be a painful experience It was very freeing
00:35:20
Speaker
Oh, I love that. Thank you for sharing. Ellie, I'd love to know your experience around the dark feminine, the shadow. What really stood out for you? What was maybe a moment or something that really shifted for you by embracing this part of yourself, this maybe darkness or shadow, and how does that transform things for you? Listening to you both and remembering, recalling how I felt going through with that part of it, I think the biggest
00:35:49
Speaker
memory sensation that I had was being in my power and I think that's something you know we talk about these negative emotions and the and the darkness that we we shut off but actually embracing all of that is really where a lot of our power comes from because I think as women especially we're told to you know diminish these parts of us because because really that that almost competes with men you know when
00:36:18
Speaker
when men are angry at work it's like they're just working hard but when women are angry at work they're a bitch you know women shouldn't get angry that's not ladylike or i remember one when we we did it as well you talked a lot about like wearing red and like wearing lingerie wearing colors that make you feel really sexy and i don't really wear a lot of red i find reds it's really bold color and it's almost like too bold it's like too in your face
00:36:42
Speaker
But that week I was like, I'm going to wear red, like whatever I have, I'm going to wear black and red and sexy lingerie and be in that sexual place that sometimes feels a bit too, too bold, too out there. I need to can't, you know, like tone it down. And I was like, I'm not going to tone it down. And I'm just going to let all of that be there. And the result of that was really just feeling more powerful, like more in my own power. Like all of it is welcome. All of it has a seat at the table at like my main table, like
00:37:12
Speaker
my happiness, my joy, my peace, my bliss, and also my anger and my resentment and my sexual desires and all of that, that they're all parts of me that then make me whole.
00:37:25
Speaker
And yeah, I think more than anything, it just helped me step into my power. Thank you for sharing that. And I think that's a really important point to make because going back to the society that we live in, many women have experienced that it is unsafe to express themselves sexually and to wear red or wear lingerie or wear something that shows a little bit of skin.
00:37:52
Speaker
that has been their lived experience that it can actually be dangerous. And so what's powerful about this space is starting to reprogram that internally, that it is safe to be embodied in that and it is safe to connect with that part of ourselves. When you reprogram that in a private setting and can be seen and witnessed in that by other human beings, that really transforms everything and can start to
00:38:18
Speaker
transform that imprinting at a really deep nervous system level that so many women have from trauma or abuse or horrible experiences through this life. So safety is such a huge part and I'd actually love to touch on this now around the theme of safety. So when I say that, does anything immediately pop out for either one of you, like your experience with safety and how that is such a critical
00:38:42
Speaker
important quality and thing to cultivate when doing this work. Like if there isn't safety, there is nothing. There's no orgasm. There's no authenticity. There's no self-expression because lived experience can be that it is unsafe to be ourselves or to express ourselves. So does anything pop out that you want to share around your experience with safety? Yeah.
00:39:06
Speaker
Yeah. So for me, definitely. And I think, you know, a few things pop up. So on one hand, it's knowing and learning and mostly knowing and trusting that I can trust myself and knowing and learning what I need and what to ask for and how to communicate, especially in a relationship and being in a partnership. It was figuring out how do I express my needs? How do I
00:39:35
Speaker
create the environment for me to feel safe, but also to give that to my partner as I'm experiencing this new, you know, going on this new journey. How do I ask for what I need? And so that was definitely a big part of the experience. And I think that was also a really positive part of being in a group because you hear everyone else's experience and you can kind of have conversations about, well, how did you navigate this? Or what was that like for you?
00:40:01
Speaker
Has anyone had resistance come up in their partner? Because those are all fears, right? It's like, well, what if I ask for what I need and they say no, or there's resistance, or they don't get it, and then you feel rejected. And it's also learning to trust yourself and learning that that's okay.
00:40:18
Speaker
you can have a conversation around it and so much comes down to communication and then also boundaries, learning what my boundaries were and how to navigate and create those so that I could create the safety for myself. And I think part of what I mentioned earlier as well was taking ownership over your experience and I think that's a big part of the safety and trust is
00:40:39
Speaker
knowing that you can create safety for yourself and being in a group environment that really, that container, it already felt so safe. And that was like a safe space to be in. And so I think the combination of the two of trusting yourself, knowing what you need, being able to ask for it and being in a safe environment as a group or
00:41:00
Speaker
really powerfully contributing to the feeling of safety for me overall. And to add to that, we couldn't have done this work. We would never have been able to go this deep if it
The Role of Group Support in Personal Growth
00:41:15
Speaker
wasn't for the safe environment that you created, Steph. I really can't honor you enough for what you created because going into this kind of work, it's the ultimate deepest
00:41:29
Speaker
parts of ourselves and every woman, no matter where you were born, what upbringing you had, you know, it's basically impossible to grow up as a woman in this world and not have some sort of sexual trauma. And even if it's just ancestral trauma that you've carried with you, but every teenage girl has been
00:41:49
Speaker
the victim at least of you know unwanted comments or looks or touches or this and that and of course there's there's a whole scale of how far that can go and so to go into this work it's like uncovering stuff that maybe we really didn't want to uncover you know it's it's stuff that you're like
00:42:08
Speaker
I want to leave that where it was in the past, because it can be really uncomfortable and sticky and not nice. And the way that you led us through it, every moment of it felt like the checking in, like, okay, checking now, is it a, is it a yes for your body? Like, you know, checking now, checking now, because it is, it's a consent to yourself every time.
00:42:31
Speaker
Are you ready to go deep? Are you ready? And if it's not, okay, stop, then that's as far as you're going today. And that's perfect. And I think creating that environment as well, you really allowed a knowingness in a group that everyone went as far as they needed at the time. There is no beginner or advanced, you know, level to do this program because we're all where we're at in our lives and we're all where we're at in our healing journey. And I think you created this incredibly safe container where everyone felt like
00:43:01
Speaker
they could go as far as they needed to go. And I think that is what made it so transformational for every single woman. Thank you for sharing that. That was really beautifully put. And that means so much to hear that. So I really thank you for sharing those words. And that is really what it's about. It's not a competition about who can have 17 orgasms or who can have the longest or who can have the most wild sex or anything like that.
00:43:28
Speaker
at the end of the day it comes down to finding that safety within and finding that acceptance for all parts of ourself and really attuning to our bodies yes and no because how often in life in sexual experiences and non-sexual experiences are we saying yes when it is a hell no in our body or we're saying no when our body is like yes it's creating this
00:43:51
Speaker
lack of alignment in so many areas of life. And then that further solidifies the distrust that we can have with our bodies. And our bodies are like, what the hell are you doing? But this really does show up around sexual experiences and being attuned to the yes and the no to our body's boundaries. That is how we have the most transformational relationship with ourself, with our inner compass. And that's how we create a life of alignment and a life of true happiness and joy and where we start to have more ease.
00:44:21
Speaker
Because when there is the disconnection, life is much more challenging. Life is much harder to navigate. This is why so many people are really indecisive because they don't know what is a yes and what is a no. And so I really love that you shared that. And that's honestly my wish for every human being on the planet is to be so deeply
00:44:39
Speaker
attuned with their body's signals that it becomes effortless to make decisions even the really hard fucking decisions like we were kind of talking about before we started recording this episode having lots of deep chats about our own individual journeys relationships and where we're at but it really comes down to knowing what our bodies are telling us and that helps to navigate the hardest moments in life and it doesn't mean that they become
00:45:05
Speaker
easier or maybe less painful because there are so many things that we can't control, but just a little bit less challenging because we're there not in a battle with ourselves as well as everything else that we're dealing with.
00:45:19
Speaker
Hey there, I hope that you're enjoying this juicy episode. If you are, then make sure to check out the details of Sex Queen. Sex Queen is my signature three month sacred sexuality group program where you reclaim the connection to your body, your pleasure, your power, and your femininity.
00:45:36
Speaker
If you are ready to experience more intimacy, more orgasms, and step into your sexual empowerment era that will help you embody more bold, confident, and magnetic energy in every area of your life, then go to the show notes to get all of the details, including the free wait list, and let's get right back into this episode.
00:45:55
Speaker
All right. So I'd love to know, have a couple of questions. Was there anything that shocked you in the program? And I actually would love to share if it's okay, Ellie. I remember you saying to me, I think it was by the end, you were saying at first when I mentioned we're going to be self-pleasuring on a live call.
00:46:13
Speaker
Prefacing this with cameras are off. I can't see anybody. Nobody can see each other. We're all muted.
Impact of Sexual Empowerment on Women's Lives
00:46:20
Speaker
I am guiding, you know, it's all very safe and everyone's going to their own comfort level always. So some people are maybe not even going there at all because that doesn't feel like a yes in their body. And some people are like, just going for it in the best way, whatever feels the best for them. But I remember you saying when I first said that you were like,
00:46:38
Speaker
And then by the end, you're like, woohoo, let's do it. So was that something that shocked you? Was there anything else I'd love for you each to both touch on that? I mean, I've got to say that was one of the most shocking things that I will share that I never thought in my life, something I would experience would be like,
00:46:57
Speaker
to have multiple, well, I say orgasms while on a group call with other women. Okay. Like never thought that I would be having orgasms in a, just like on a group call with other women also there being guided by another woman. Like it was, yeah, not anything I thought would ever happen, but the way that it happened, like you said, it was really us and our own experience just being guided by a voice, just exploring ourselves. And it was just.
00:47:24
Speaker
So not what one might imagine as this self pleasure, you know, experience that you might just like have on a whim it was this really incredible guided into, you know, yourself kind of incredible individual experience but also
00:47:39
Speaker
something about it also was nice to know that there was other women in this experience too. It took away from it that self pleasure should just be this sex thing about having an orgasm and that's it and it made it into something really beautiful because it is you know
00:47:55
Speaker
took all the shame away from it so that was definitely a shock and i think i don't know i do remember big shock to me was you like on the first day just pulling out all the sex toys like this one does this and like this is this how it is like
00:48:10
Speaker
And then obviously understanding that, you know, we'll hear on our own pace, but it was just like 10,000 things. And I was like, what have I just got myself into? That's a favorite moment for me. Cause I know it's the shock value. And I remember when I first saw women sharing things like that, I was like, I will never use toys like that. And then here I am only a few years later, like this is a butt plug. This is a cervical serpent or whatever it's cervix serpent. It is a bit of the shock value, but it's, it's fun. Katrina, what about you?
00:48:41
Speaker
Yeah, oh my gosh, that's hilarious. I just like thinking back to that memory. I think for me, I was more like the biggest shock for me was I feel like there was less shock value there because I was working with you stuff and I was like maybe already like preparing myself mentally for that.
00:48:56
Speaker
And then the biggest shock was I think really that ownership piece like realizing that I think when I went into it, I thought like, Oh, I'm gonna learn tools and like have this experience that's gonna help me in my relationship or you know, in in sex or in intimacy. And I think I thought it was more about the partnership or the relationship and I think it was more surprised by realizing
00:49:22
Speaker
that it was all about me. And it wasn't even about the techniques or the tools or the things that I was using. It was actually just not allowing myself to feel, not being present, not being in my body. I just learned so much about myself and stuff. You were such a big part of that because A, you're
00:49:42
Speaker
just super open and supportive and everyone was at their own... Like you said, it was exactly where they needed to be and everyone was having such a different experience, but everyone was so supported and I felt just so supportive, so held and
00:49:58
Speaker
Because I think that was a surprise. I really went into thinking, I'm going to go to these sessions and have tools I can take back to my relationship. But it was actually like, no, I'm going to go to these sessions and realize how much of it is actually me needing to take ownership over and shift. And it was a huge transformation. And that was more than I could have imagined for myself and for my relationship. But I wouldn't have expected that going in. I love to hear these insights. They're so fun.
00:50:27
Speaker
So fun. So if you were having a conversation with a woman and she was saying this sex queen thing, I don't know, sounds kind of cool, but also sounds scary. What would you say to her? Oh, I would say honestly, don't think too much about it. I would say if, if you want to know yourself better, if you want to step into your power, like understand
00:50:54
Speaker
yourself and, and become really a more magnetic version of yourself, a more confident version of yourself and be that woman that you, that you desire. You know, we all look at, there's someone on Instagram or in our lives or a celebrity or whatever it is that we look at that woman that's like, I want to be more like her. I want to be her essence. And we're all mirrors of each other. Whatever we see in that person, it's just what we desire to be for ourselves.
00:51:22
Speaker
I would say the only way to get that is to do the work on yourself and to know yourself more and really I couldn't describe how much of a I guess surprise and shock it was for me as well just you know kind of weaving in from the last the part that we talked about was just that this work is just touches every area of your life and how important it is for every woman to do this work because
00:51:46
Speaker
that's where so much of it needs unlocking. It's like the trauma in the womb, the trauma in the sexual trauma that we've been holding, the guilt, the shame that is in every cell of our being. And once that is unlocked and you become the sex queen, you really do embody that. And it's like this amazing thing, and Mama Gina talks about this a lot, which FYI, on a side note, loved all the books that we read, but obviously like big fan of Mama Gina. But once you unlock that energy,
00:52:15
Speaker
people see it and feel it and they don't know what it is but like what does she say once your pussies turn on people feel that genuinely people i work with people in the streets my family friends people just like you're different like you just seem different and i was like yeah i feel different and they don't know it's because my sexual energy is turned on they just know that i look better and more vibrant and more confident so
00:52:37
Speaker
I would say that would be the reason to do it. I love it. So you don't tell them, I'm connected with my pussy. My pussy is turned on. Mum, there. We'll get there. I love it. But it's so true. Once a woman is embodied in owning her sexuality, and once we've done this work, it's almost like this secret power that we all have, this secret sense that we have that we can tell when another woman is embodied or not connected to that part of herself. And it's kind of fun because
00:53:06
Speaker
It is only something that you can know when you are in it yourself. So I love that you shared that. What about you, Katrina? What would you say?
00:53:16
Speaker
Yeah. I would say, you know, even like, so like sex aside, right? Like no matter where you are in your sexual journey, whether it's, you know, having the best orgasms or having none or having ecstatic experiences versus, you know, maybe numbness, it doesn't even matter where you are in that part of your journey. It's more, I would say, if you want to feel more in alignment with yourself,
00:53:39
Speaker
feel empowered, feel embodied, build more self-confidence, then this work will be transformational for you.
00:53:49
Speaker
despite wherever you are in your journey, you will have more of that. And I think one thing I would say is you don't know what you don't know. And sometimes we don't even know how much further we can go. Even when we think we're in alignment, even when we think we're authentic or true to ourselves, even when we think that we're internally guided, those things may all be true, but the path and the journey is truly unlimited. And so yeah, if you're looking for more of that, then this is it.
00:54:19
Speaker
I have loved this conversation so much. And just have to note that we've all been very calm and grounded with our crystals. We all have a crystal that we're holding onto. Feeling the power is a great little hack when we're all feeling a little energized and we need to just drop in. So crystal sisters over here. I would love to wrap this with questions that I love to ask all of my guests.
00:54:44
Speaker
There's three questions I have. So we'll start with Ellie. What are you celebrating right now?
00:54:50
Speaker
Ooh, I am celebrating. I just ran to back-to-back retreats and they were amazing, amazing, amazing. So like I'm celebrating myself. I'm celebrating you too. They looked amazing. And again, spreading this powerful work that you're doing with women in a group format. Yes, we need more of this. So I'm celebrating that for you. Katrina, what are you celebrating right now?
00:55:16
Speaker
Oh my gosh, I'm celebrating love partnership. I just got engaged. So, you know, really just being on this magical journey for the last year and leading to this point has been just beyond beautiful and so just celebrating love. I'm celebrating you so much and it's honestly so incredible. You're such a testament to
00:55:41
Speaker
this work and seeing where you are now, being in this beautiful partnership, loving, incredible, and the work that you've done and now celebrating this next chapter, celebrating you hard. I'm so excited for what's to come for you. So thank you for sharing with us. Next question. Ellie, you're up first. What is bringing you pleasure right now in life? Ooh.
00:56:05
Speaker
You know what is what came to mind? I just joined a new gym. I know that doesn't always sound pleasurable, but I haven't been working out for a while. I just found this like really epic, amazing new gym. And there's something about moving the body in the morning that just like gets you in this amazing mood. And then everything else is pleasurable. Whether you dance or run or whatever it is, it's like everything just tastes better, feels better. Like work feels better. So Katrina.
00:56:32
Speaker
I would say a mixture of slowness and community and connection. I think especially over the last few weeks, it's been so much about community, connection to myself, love, partnership, and just going a little bit slower in life than I typically have. And so that's been, yeah, really beautiful and helping me be more in pleasure more often. Thank you for sharing those both.
00:57:01
Speaker
both very different ways that are bringing you pleasure, but it's true to you. And pleasure doesn't have to be sexual and moving your body, being in slowness, beautiful ways to embody pleasure. So thank you for sharing. And the final question, what is something that you wish every woman on the planet could know or experience?
00:57:21
Speaker
Obviously, sex queen. No, but in seriousness, I think I did say this after you at the end of the programme, I was like, every woman on this planet needs to do this work. And I completely believe it, like, men and women, because the men, you know, feed off of the women's energy, like, if every single woman on this planet did this kind of work, and knew how powerful it was to be in touch with
00:57:45
Speaker
themselves that wounds their sexual energy, like it would genuinely change the world. I agree. Yeah, I completely agree with that. And I would add, you know,
00:58:00
Speaker
just letting everyone know as a reminder of how much power, pleasure, and everything that's just already within them that's available to them and that's already there. We live in a world where we are seeking a lot of external validation, motivation, and influence.
00:58:22
Speaker
There's so much power that is within us that is so accessible if we choose to do this work that I just want everyone to know that that's already within them and it's available when they want it. So beautiful. Thank you both for sharing and thank you for being here. Being so open and vulnerable and sharing your own journeys and your own experience and
00:58:47
Speaker
being just beautiful sex queens. I love it. The world needs more sex queens. So thank you for being here. It's always so fun to connect. I'd love for you to share where people can connect with both of you. You're both doing incredible work in this world. So Ellie, share with everybody where they can connect with you. Yes, absolutely. So the best way to connect with me is either on my website or on Instagram. My Instagram is at CAP, that's K-A-P dot by
00:59:18
Speaker
or you can find me on my website, which is my full name, which is ellipetjak.com. Thank you. Katrina, where can everyone connect with you?
00:59:28
Speaker
Yeah, I would say the best spot is on Instagram as well. So at katrina.dangelis. And then on there, you'll have all of my links to, to everywhere else and all the different offerings and things that I'm a part of. So I would love to see you all there. Thank you so much, Queens. I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day and let's see where the Sacs Queen journey continues to take you in this life. Thanks for being here. Thank you. Thanks so much, Steph.