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The Ripple Effect of Erotic Empowerment: Navigating Sexual Healing as a Woman - Solo Episode | EP 22
75 Plays1 year ago
In this solo episode we'll explore how to navigate sexual healing and the ripple effect this has when a woman embarks on this journey.
What you can expect from this episode:
- Why every woman needs to explore her sexual healing
- The powerful transformation that occurs when you come home to yourself
- How to start on your pleasure reclamation journey
- Inquiry questions & journal prompts to get your started
- What it means to be a Sex Queen
- Hearing the shares from my clients who have been in my program Sex Queen
If you're curious about joining the next round of my group program Sex Queen, join the free waitlist here to get all the info and feel free to send me a message to chat!
If you loved this episode, share it with me in a review for the show and then tag me on Instagram!
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Transcript
Introduction to Unfiltered Femme and Breaking Taboos
00:00:04
Speaker
Welcome to the Unfiltered Femme podcast. Your new world to get the lowdown on all things pleasure, sexuality, the mysterious female body, dating, relationships and everything you need to know to step into your most unfiltered, unapologetic, empowered and turned on self.
00:00:22
Speaker
I'm Steph Morris, a love, sex and intimacy coach and along with some incredibly fabulous guests, I'm here to spill the tea on those topics that are typically hush hush. The juicy things that you want to know all about that have maybe been a little bit too shy to talk about.
00:00:39
Speaker
Think of me as your fearless guide and partner in crime, creating a space for the unfiltered, the raw, the authentic chats where nothing is off limits and there's no such thing as too much.
Reclaiming Female Sensuality and Sexuality
00:00:50
Speaker
The Unfiltered Femme podcast is all about breaking down those walls and celebrating what it means to be an unfiltered, feminine being. I hope you're ready for a wild ride. Let's dive right in.
00:01:03
Speaker
Welcome back to The Unfiltered Femme. I am excited to dive into why I believe every woman needs to go on a journey of reclaiming her sensuality. Why every woman deserves to give herself the gift of reclaiming her sexuality. Now, what does that even mean?
00:01:25
Speaker
Oftentimes when we think of sexuality, we think of someone's sexual identity. And that is not what I'm referring to. As women, our sexuality has been suppressed. And we grew up with a lot of conditioning, whether you're aware of it or not, around our pleasure, our bodies, our sexuality. And most of us have some form of sexual
00:01:52
Speaker
shame, sexual trauma, sexual conditioning that has made it unsafe for us to be embodied and connected with our sexuality, for us to be able to show that in an embodied way, not for somebody else, but
Societal Conditioning and Sexual Healing
00:02:08
Speaker
for us. And when it isn't safe to be connected with a part of ourself, it becomes a shadow. We reject it. We are disconnected from it. It becomes lost. And that is how we have shadow selves, these
00:02:20
Speaker
elements and parts of our self or expression or our personality that we get completely lost from. And we can see this in things where we feel jealous or where we get triggered by other people displaying these parts of their personality or their expression, and it can be very dangerous. It can feel dangerous in our system. And I obviously do the work around helping women reclaim the connection with their body through
00:02:50
Speaker
sacred sexuality through pleasure reclamation, through divine and deep sexual healing where they say, no more am I going to give my power away to another person or to something external or outside of myself. My pleasure is for me.
00:03:08
Speaker
My body is for me. My yes is for me. My no gets to be a no. I get to be connected to my body, to my heart, to my pussy and allow that to make decisions for me. I don't want to be a man. I don't want to be living in this world where I'm trying to compete with men.
00:03:26
Speaker
when biologically we are different and we don't have to be that way. I know I was that way for so long. I thought being a woman was a disadvantage and now I see that being a woman is a fucking superpower and I love my body and I love my femininity and I love the way that my body works, the bodily functions that I have, the way that I express myself sensually and sexually. It is a gift and it is me and it is divine and it is for me.
00:03:56
Speaker
And if I choose to share that with another person, I choose to share my embodied expression. I'm not sharing myself in a performative way any longer, seeking external validation to fill up this void that I have inside of me. And I really believe that the deepest work we can do as human beings is the work of sexual healing.
00:04:22
Speaker
is the work around going deep into those parts of ourselves that have been shunned, that we've been told are not good enough, or it's not safe to be showing our body because it might provoke a response in somebody externally that will be dangerous for us. It's time that we change that. And there's a couple of parts to this that I want to talk about. One is what happens when a woman takes back her power.
00:04:50
Speaker
over her body and her pleasure and her sexuality. And the second part is how this is such a huge area of life.
Prioritizing Sexual Health and Relationships
00:04:58
Speaker
And it's one that is not openly talked about, but obviously if you're here, you are ready to have these conversations and to talk about this and to open up this part of yourself. But what I do want to talk about, and we're actually going to start with this, is
00:05:13
Speaker
Think about your body, think about your health, your physical health. You may or may not go to the doctor for yearly checkups. I think that's the thing people do. I don't know if you're supposed to do that. I don't do that. But I think some people go for physical, maybe as you grow older and wiser, you start to do that. I don't know what the like supposed rules are for that. Anyway.
00:05:37
Speaker
You go for, you go to the doctor if you want to get a checkup on certain things. If you starting out the year or any point you're like, oh, I really have a goal that I want to get fitter or I want to get stronger or I want to get more lean or.
00:05:53
Speaker
whatever it is that you're desiring maybe it is losing weight or just feeling better in your skin maybe having more energy which i prefer goals around feelings because that's ultimately what drives us behind our goals is our emotions and feelings so maybe having more energy
00:06:12
Speaker
So that you don't crash in the afternoon whatever it is if you have and i'm sure that some point in your life you set a goal around your physical body or your physical health around how you want to look and feel what do you do when you have a desire when you have a goal.
00:06:30
Speaker
you make a plan hopefully or if you set new year's resolutions you probably don't make a plan and then you probably don't follow through and then you probably beat yourself up about it potentially.
00:06:43
Speaker
Though what we often do, if we're serious and dedicated and we're ready to make a change, using this one as an example, we will get a gym membership. We will seek out local studios to go to. We might enroll in ClassPass to figure out what kind of workouts and movements feel really good to us in our body. We will make a plan to eat more.
00:07:09
Speaker
nutrient dense and more whole foods. We might buy a cookbook or a recipe book and commit to cooking in more and eating out less. You maybe will pull back from eating takeout, ordering Uber Eats.
00:07:25
Speaker
You might get a personal trainer, you might hire a nutritionist, you might even hire a coach, a fitness coach or a nutrition coach or somebody in that arena or health coach. You may do all of these things and these things are more common now, especially personal trainer, coach in health and fitness world.
00:07:45
Speaker
Obviously, if you have a desire or a goal in that area, you're going to take the action to do something about it. Otherwise, it can be hard to actually follow through for a lot of people because they need the education. If you have never worked out in the gym, how are you going to know how to properly lift weights, how to make sure that your body is in the correct form so that you don't actually injure yourself? You need to be educated on that, right?
00:08:11
Speaker
just born with this knowledge of how to hold our body and what position and the knee and hip alignment for the proper form to maximize the strength that we're building. These are things that have to be learned and taught to us so we can have that education.
00:08:26
Speaker
And then it becomes this embodied knowledge when we practice it and then it becomes wisdom. Here's the thing. Here's the thing I have beef with that pretty much everybody that I speak to, the people that I work with, the people that I come into contact with, which in the last year alone has been hundreds and hundreds of humans because I traveled a lot. I attended many retreats. I hosted.
00:08:51
Speaker
For retreats, those retreats had up to 20 people. I have had a lot of in-depth conversations with humans in the last few years, but especially in the last year. And if you know me, I go deep and there's nothing that is off limits.
00:09:07
Speaker
Let me tell you that everybody is going through something and everybody is dealing with some challenge in terms of their relationship to their body, to their health, to their overall happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction in life, or in relation to their intimacy with their partner.
00:09:27
Speaker
trying to attract their ideal partner and or in the bedroom when it comes to sex and pleasure. Everybody is dealing with something. That is just life. We're all navigating something and to varying degrees. Sometimes it's I can't orgasm and I've never had an orgasm. Other times it's me and my partner are not on the same page anymore. How do we navigate this? Sometimes it's
00:09:50
Speaker
We've never had good sex. How do I bring this up now? Sometimes it's we're more like roommates. Can we get the spark back? Name the challenge. There's somebody going through it.
00:10:03
Speaker
Here's the thing, people are not openly talking about it. People talk about it to me because I open up the floor for people to talk about it based on the work that I do and the vulnerability and depth that I embody and that I share about myself. I do have these conversations.
From Shame to Empowerment: Personal Stories
00:10:20
Speaker
Do you? Are you open with the people in your life about your relationships, about sex, about pleasure, about self pleasure?
00:10:29
Speaker
Or is this still a taboo topic where you don't feel comfortable sharing about it? I will speak for myself that I have in the past been very closed off about these things. From the first relationship I ever had, I found it so painful and so shameful to open up about topics and concerns and challenges that are arising in my relationship. And I've shared this in.
00:10:53
Speaker
a previous podcast that with that particular ex, he was a cheater. And I subconsciously knew he was cheating for about a year, but I didn't tell anybody because I was very disconnected from myself, from my feelings, from my emotions. I shut it out.
00:11:09
Speaker
I didn't want it to be true. I had so much dependency on him and so much fear. And I was not having those kind of conversations with my friends or with my family. So I suffered in silence and had too much shame to share anything about that. I never spoke to friends about my sex life. I was like, that is private. That is for me. I'm not going to talk about that with other people.
00:11:32
Speaker
I never spoke about self-pleasure. I wasn't sexually satisfied in that relationship. It wasn't really a priority for me, to be honest, because I wasn't really driving anything in that area because I just wasn't bothered, to be honest. So I certainly wasn't talking about it with people.
00:11:49
Speaker
In my previous relationship, again, I never used to talk about my sex life. The second relationship, my previous relationship, recent relationship, I was more open about challenges that we were experiencing, things that were coming up. I learned that lesson from the first one.
00:12:06
Speaker
And I was always very open with my mum. My mum has been my rock. She's amazing. And she's experienced a lot in her life, especially around relationships. And so with that previous relationship, we were very open, having open dialogue. And I was like, I know I can walk away at any point if it ever comes to that. And I was very open and felt comfortable sharing about relationship challenges that inevitably arise when we are sharing a life with another human being.
00:12:31
Speaker
Though I never talked about sex and my sex life with anybody. And so when I experienced challenges in that realm, I felt so fucking alone and there was something wrong with me and something wrong with my relationship and felt so much guilt and shame. And then it's like, how do you even bring this up? How do you talk about this? And I did not know what to do. And so that really was the.
00:12:57
Speaker
Driving challenge that I experienced that lit the fire inside of me to go on this journey because once I worked with a coach and opened up that door and made that scary decision to invest in this area of my life, which had never occurred to me before.
00:13:13
Speaker
I was like, I want to be that light for somebody else who's experiencing something like this so that they don't ever have to feel alone. I don't ever want you to feel alone in the realm of sexuality, sex, relationships, intimacy, your partnership, or your dating life, whatever applies to you.
00:13:34
Speaker
you don't have to feel alone in that. You should not feel alone. We should be talking about these things more openly. There's literally no reason for us to feel shame and embarrassment in cringe talking about these things. I don't have an ounce of cringe anymore. I used to be cringe-fest. I used to be so awkward talking about this. I've healed my sexual shame. There is always deeper layers to explore. There's always deeper healing, 100%. I'm not...
00:14:02
Speaker
I haven't arrived. I'm not fully healed by any meme. I don't believe any human is. Though I have healed sexual shame living in my body and reclaimed my sexuality, turned on my sexual energy, reclaimed my sexual power so that I feel very comfortable having conversations about anything and everything. And there is no too much. There is nothing that is off limits. And I desire for you to
00:14:32
Speaker
be able to heal the sexual shame that you have because everybody has sexual shame. It's just the nature of the society that we live in to varying degrees. A lot of women that I work with have immense amounts of sexual shame and in some cases sexual trauma based on experiences they've had growing up because most women have experienced some form of sexual
00:14:54
Speaker
objectification or abuse or assault or trauma. Unfortunately, it is absolutely tragic. But that's the world that we have grown up in. And the more that we can talk about it, the more that we can reclaim it for ourselves, the more that I believe that we can change this.
00:15:10
Speaker
So that is what I want to talk about. And how does that happen? It starts with women, because if you're in a relationship and you're desiring more intimacy, more depth, more connection, more sensuality, more romance, and to feel that aliveness again, it starts with the woman.
00:15:30
Speaker
As much as when it comes to masculine and feminine energies, masculine energy is more about leading, about taking action, about driving forward that penetrative energy, being that provider, being in that daddy energy. Yes.
00:15:45
Speaker
And also when it comes to emotions and love, that's the domain of the feminine. So as more feminine beings, if you're a feminine being and you are in partnership or desiring a partnership with a divine masculine man, and that is not a look, that is an embodied
00:16:05
Speaker
Present that he will have it doesn't matter what he looks like or what he was or what amount of money he makes That does not matter if you're desiring that then it's actually your Responsibility to take the lead and to go first a lot of the time women coming into my program sex queen are women in relationships who want to change their relationship, but they know they have to do the work first and after that
00:16:29
Speaker
When you invite your partner into the work through invitation, through your embodied expression, not through nitpicking, not through guilting, not through trying to control him because it's not going to work. That is going to push him further away. And that's going to zap the polarity and nobody wants to fuck their mother. If you're nitpicking, like his mother used to do, there is no chemistry. There is no.
00:16:54
Speaker
respect for him and it's a subtle form of emasculation that is not serving you and it's not serving him. So as women it's our responsibility to take the lead in love and to invite our partner by showing up as love into what we're desiring.
Redefining Relationships and Personal Growth
00:17:11
Speaker
And this is why you have to go first. We are absolutely lacking in this society education around sex, around intimacy, around relationships. We do not have the proper
00:17:26
Speaker
channels of education as we're growing up to teach us what a healthy and conscious relationship is. And unfortunately, our defaults are our childhood conditioning, the programming that we received. So if you were demonstrated that love is constantly arguing and fighting, guess what? That's going to be what you recreate.
00:17:49
Speaker
if you were shown that love is being abandoned and not being tended to emotionally and not having support when you needed it, then you're going to recreate that. You're going to seek out a partner that fulfills that unmet need that you have. And you're going to repeat these patterns. And this is why people are struggling in relationships and more people than you realize are unhappy in their relationships. Trust me. I,
00:18:18
Speaker
can see through any relationship now. And I don't mean that in a judgmental or shaming way, but once you do this work on yourself, reclaiming your sensuality, your sexuality, getting really vulnerable with yourself, getting really intimate with yourself and doing that work to redefine what a healthy and conscious relationship is to you.
00:18:40
Speaker
with yourself, with others, with other women, with your partner, then you can start to see things differently. It is like having this superpower where you're like, holy shit.
00:18:51
Speaker
I can see through the facade that most people are putting on in terms of their relationship. And I believe that if more people were to do this depth of work, then we would have a much happier society because more people would truly love themselves. More people would be like, I fucking love who I am and I know what I deserve and I'm going to go after it.
00:19:15
Speaker
and I'm no longer going to settle for this half-assed relationship where maybe the person is really lovely, maybe it is a good relationship, but if you want fucking great, then don't settle. We need to have more open conversations around sex, around intimacy, around pleasure and relationships. We need to start doing the inquiry with ourselves of what does a healthy relationship mean to me? What does a conscious relationship mean to me? What do I desire from this relationship?
00:19:39
Speaker
Really question, are my needs being met? And go deep with yourself. Most people don't ask these questions because they don't want to know the answer. What I love to do with people is to get them to get very vulnerable and real with themselves so that they can find the answers that they've been looking for. So they can get the insights and so that they can have the connection with their body so that they never ever settle again. So that they can walk into a room and feel through their body whether they want to be in there or not. They can feel when they meet a person
00:20:07
Speaker
whether it feels safe to be around that person in their system so that they can leave if it does not feel right or they can feel safe and settle into that person's energy.
00:20:17
Speaker
Imagine what life would be like if you no longer had to second guess everything that you did. If you no longer had to spend all of your time analyzing whether a decision that you're making was right or wrong. Whether you no longer had to message all of your friends and ask all of these opinions about whether to date that guy or whether to bring up that conversation with your partner. If you just knew if your body was guiding you, if your pussy was guiding you, what would life be like? Can you even imagine?
00:20:44
Speaker
what living a life connected to your pussy would be like. What does that even mean? Anything to you? You might be like, what the fuck are you talking about stuff? But when a woman reclaims her sexual power, everything changes. So I'm going to ask you a few questions here. And if you want these questions written out, just send me a DM. I can send them to you in a message.
00:21:07
Speaker
No problem. So some questions for you just to get you thinking and ideally you're going to journal on these, we'll let them percolate in your mind. Do you currently use any form of hormonal birth control or other forms of contraception? What are they? And why am I asking this question? This affects your sexual wellness overall. And sexual wellness or sexual health is an indicator of our health and wellness overall.
00:21:38
Speaker
So unfortunately that's not really taught to us. We're taught to compartmentalize and keep that part of us separate, that it's not for anybody else, which is not, but that we're not going to talk about it. We're not going to be open about this, but actually your libido is an indicator of how you're doing and overall with that said, and I'm going to do an entire episode around libido and around desire and different desire types.
00:22:05
Speaker
in a separate conversation, though, if you have no libido whatsoever, no sexual desire ever, then that's an indicator that perhaps something is off. There could be medications that you're on. If you're on hormonal birth control, that can be having an impact as well. Many different things. So that's the first question. That one you don't have to journal on. That's just to think about it. If you have a menstrual cycle, do you track it? And if yes, how are you tracking it?
00:22:31
Speaker
If you're like, why would I track it? Then send me a message. We can have a conversation about this and I'll definitely do a podcast around the power of tracking your cycle. Again, your bleed and your whole cycle is an indicator of your health. And why do we want to track it? And this is why I actually advocate a lot for using menstrual cups. I personally am a big fan of a menstrual cup because you can track how much you're bleeding, the color, the consistency, all indicating
00:23:00
Speaker
how healthy you are what is going on in your body at that time so the texture and the color of the blood and how much you're bleeding your body is giving you information all of the time are you listening to you are you taking on board are you like this is disgusting and needs to be thrown into the trash because it's so gross question that about yourself.
00:23:19
Speaker
Freebleed is also awesome, period undies, whatever you want to do. Just, I'm not a fan of tampons, I think, especially if you are using tampons, by the way, make sure you're using organic, non-toxic, good brands, because most tampon brands, like the mainstream brands are very toxic and you do not want to be putting that inside of you. Okay. First couple of questions. The next question is, have you ever faked an orgasm? Yes, no, maybe.
00:23:43
Speaker
Once or twice, many times, maybe you still do. If you have, why? Why would you fake an orgasm when in intimacy with another person?
00:23:54
Speaker
Next question is, do you feel you are more performative or embodied when with a partner in intimacy? Are you putting on moans and trying to be really sexy and doing things that you know that they like when actually you're like, when the focus is going to be over? Are you performative or are you embodied? Because there is a massive difference and.
00:24:17
Speaker
When you're embodied. Oh, it's so good. It is so good. So that's the first question. We can go into, go more into that. The next question, how much pleasure in a non-sexual way do you experience in your life on a scale of one to 10? One being no pleasure, 10 being every day I experienced pleasure. Next question on a scale of one to 10, how connected do you feel to yourself sexually? One being
00:24:44
Speaker
zero connection, 10 being extremely connected. And when I have these questions, if you're like, I don't even know how to answer that, I don't know how to find the answer, then that's an indication that it's probably on the lower scale, which is okay. No judging here, but get curious how connected you feel to yourself sexually. How tapped into your sensuality are you on a scale of one to 10? And what does sensuality mean
00:25:12
Speaker
to you. Next one. How would you rate your libido on a scale of one to 10? One being you never have any sexual desire. Basically I could live without sex and never think about it, never want it. It's not even that good or whatever your thought process is, get curious on that. And 10 is like high sexual desire, I think, and desire sex a lot. And like I said, there are different desire types and we'll go into this in another conversation and this is going to be very insightful for you to know and very empowering. How comfortable do you feel in the bedroom?
00:25:42
Speaker
1 being not very or 0% comfortable and 10 being really comfortable. I feel really good. I don't mind if the lights are on or off.
00:25:52
Speaker
I feel confident in my sexual expression. And the next question on the scale, how much shame do you feel around your sexuality? And I'm not meaning your sexual identity, I just mean you in your sexiness and being viewed as a sexual person and being connected and tapped into your sexuality and your body as an overall question.
00:26:14
Speaker
0 or 1 is there's no shame at all and 10 is a lot of shame. There is a lot of shame in there. And then the same question on a scale of 1 to 10, how much shame do you feel around self-pleasure? 10 is fuck ton of shame. I used to have so much shame around self-pleasure and most women do have quite a lot. So again,
00:26:34
Speaker
No shame here. The next question. How much pain do you experience during sex?
Exploring Pleasure and Overcoming Fear
00:26:42
Speaker
You might be like, no pain, which is a one or a zero. Amazing. You might be at a 10 unbearable amount of pain. This one is way more common than you think. Too many women are
00:26:53
Speaker
dealing with painful sex because that's all they know. And if you are experiencing pain during sex, let me tell you right now, please make a commitment to me that you will not settle for this any longer because you do not need to be experiencing pain during sex. There are potentially medical things that could be going on and definitely worth exploring that if you've already explored that and there's still
00:27:19
Speaker
nothing, no answers that are being given to you. You're not broken. There's not something wrong with you. This is very common. And definitely I recommend diving into sexual healing and joining a program like my group program sex queen, working with a coach like me one-to-one so that you can dive into this from the emotional and somatic level to heal and relieve that pain.
00:27:42
Speaker
The next question is, how much sensitivity and pleasure do you have access to in your breasts and in your nipples? This again is another very common one. So one is nada, none. 10 is so sensitive and access to so much pleasure. This is really common. A lot of women have no sensitivity in their nipples.
00:28:05
Speaker
This is something that can be changed, essentially. You can turn on this part of your body to be open to accessing more sensitivity and more pleasure, and you can experience nipple gasms. How freaking cool is that? Why would you not want to explore and expand your pleasure capacity in all of the places where you have access to that? Again, it's working with shame on a somatic level in the body around your breasts, your relationship to your breasts, your relationship to your heart.
00:28:35
Speaker
and your sexual self as a whole. Goals, maybe, nipplegasm. Again, doesn't mean anything if you could have them or if you're not. It's not some ultra high state or place that we want to get to. It's just, no, that is possible and that is available to you. Next couple of questions. How much sound do you use in the bedroom? Tennis can't stop me burning and groaning and I love to use my voice. And one is quiet as a mouse.
00:29:02
Speaker
Again, getting curious and these questions please are not to judge yourself. It's being curious about why. If you do not use any sound in the bedroom, why is that? Do you, does it not feel comfortable? Do you feel like I don't like it? Do you feel like I don't know what to say or I don't know how to sound? These are pieces of information that you can get from yourself and just get curious. Maybe you genuinely are not into sound in the bedroom or maybe
00:29:28
Speaker
you have a lot of sexual shame and suppression that has led you to believe that you don't like sound but actually doesn't feel safe to be heard and this is the next question. How much do you have a fear of being heard and of using your voice so on this one the scale is one is i have no fear i love to be heard and love to use my voice and ten is majorly quiet.
00:29:50
Speaker
That is that question. And the next one, two more. How much do you feel like you have a fear of being seen? Truly seen in your full authenticity and self-expression in all ways. And this includes your sexual expression. The lower end, the lower numbers are that you don't have a fear of being seen. And 10 is really that you feel like you're hiding all the time and you have a massive fear of being seen. And these are all, obviously the numbers, it's a subjective scale.
00:30:18
Speaker
of where you're at and this is going to evolve and change and grow. But again, it's information. And the final question on a scale of one to 10, how much do you feel like your sexual needs are currently being met? And that can be with yourself and or in relationship if you are in one.
00:30:33
Speaker
So one is they're not being met at all. And 10 is I feel fully met with where I'm at right now. And again, that's not just with somebody externally, that's with you meeting your own sexual needs, which is what is necessary in this life. All right. Getting excited. The next thing that I want you to think about. So just so you know, for context, these are all questions that are in my initial.
00:30:54
Speaker
client intake form when I'm about to work with a woman to dive into sexual healing and sexuality work. There are many more questions that I'm asking what types of orgasms have you experienced because there are over six types of orgasms a woman has access to in her body and many other types of gasms as well.
00:31:12
Speaker
So this is all information that's really helpful for me to get to see why the women are out when I'm working with them. I'm asking questions like what tools have you experimented with vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, silicon toys, crystal ones. How often do you self-pleasure? Curious about this. Do you self-pleasure daily? Do you self-pleasure?
00:31:32
Speaker
few times a week maybe a few times a month rarely or maybe you never have getting really curious with this I'm not gonna go through all the questions because we'll be here all day but these are the kind of questions I invite you to start thinking about with yourself and the questions why if you self-pleasure never why if you self-pleasure regularly why and how is your experience of self-pleasuring
00:31:57
Speaker
does it really fill you up and make you feel so grateful and so alive and tapped into your sexual energy and it just gets you going in your creativity and other areas of life, getting really curious. So I wanted to share this because the question specifically around being heard and being seen and using your voice, this is what happens when a woman reclaims her sexual power. When a woman reclaims her sexual power,
00:32:25
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she becomes so confident in herself she discovers who she is she remembers her power and who she is authentically here to be she releases the conditioning of shame and the conditioning of who she thought she needed to be accepted to be
00:32:43
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loved and to belong in this life and what I see from my own experience and my own journey and from the women that I work with is that when they reclaim and do this really deep sexual healing work, they unlock their voice.
00:32:59
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They find safety and a lot of the work that I'm doing around sexualities around finding safety. They find safety in their sexiness. They find safety in being seen. They find safety in being heard, in owning their sexual desires, in asking for what they want, in tuning in to their bodies boundaries, to their bodies yes and their bodies no, and being able to communicate that very clearly.
00:33:24
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Can you imagine how life would be different if you felt safe to be seen? Safe to be heard? Safe to be sexy? Safe to own what you want? Safe to communicate what you want and confident in the way that you communicate it?
00:33:40
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This work, while it's in the realm of sexuality, has an effect in every single area of your life. You get to do the work here and it is the most scary and vulnerable and courageous work that a human being can do. I know that. And the rewards are freaking massive because not only will you change as a woman, as a human being, everything else in your life.
00:34:04
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changes as a result of you changing. When you are in your power, you're owning your voice, you are owning everything about yourself and you're confident and you no longer feel that crippling
00:34:15
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shame and discomfort in being you. Imagine how you'd start showing up in work. Imagine how you'd start going after the things that you really want. Imagine how you would show up in your relationship with your partner when you're like, I'm owning my pleasure and I'm turning myself on and I'm seducing myself and I'm showing up to you so full and so alive and so juicy and turned on. Can you imagine how you're gonna be received by another person that you choose to share that with?
00:34:44
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It is so profound and so freaking incredible. And I see as well with women who are entrepreneurs, who are business owners, who are high performing, high achieving women, they change when they do this work. So I have a lot of clients that I work with who are very powerful women.
00:35:07
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yet they're disconnected from themselves sexually. And what they create in their life as a result of doing this reclamation work is wild. They become tapped into their feminine. They start to be able to actually receive. And when you are tapped into pleasure and you are open up to receiving, that means you're open up to receiving compliments from other women, other people seeing you for who you truly are, and you get to receive
00:35:33
Speaker
them seeing you because you've allowed yourself to be seen, you start to form deeper connections with people because you're being your true self and you're sharing yourself authentically and in a self express way. You start to dream bigger, a lot bigger than you have been dreaming and allow yourself to go after
00:35:53
Speaker
what you want because you're ready to receive that you're ready to create that and you know that you're worthy because of the work that you've done i want to talk to you now about what it means to me to be a sex queen. And i didn't just create my program sex queen fish it's in google's i.
00:36:09
Speaker
created this because this is what I'm here to do. This is the magic I'm here to share. I believe, and I have chills sharing this, I believe with every cell in my body that every woman deserves to be sexually alive, sexually turned on, connected to her power.
Becoming a Sex Queen: Confidence and Liberation
00:36:25
Speaker
embodied in her confidence and owning who she is life changes when you operate from this way. And this is my wish and desire for everybody. And the reason why I'm recording this episode now is because my group program sex queen is about to kick off at the end of this week. And I was reviewing the intake form from the women who are joining or have joined this round and from previous rounds. This is the third round.
00:36:50
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of the program and I just was blown away by the shares, by the fizz, by what they're ready for and I want to read some of this to you so you can get an understanding of this kind of work and what's possible when you're ready to dive into this kind of work and of course there's no pressure to join my programs or do this work with me.
00:37:12
Speaker
you have to feel like a fuck yes and you have to feel ready even though you're never ready but there's a certain amount of ready it has to feel safe in your body to go there because you never know what's going to come up is really profound and some of the things here that I want to share that some people have experienced of why they said yes to joining this so one woman is ready to reconnect with her body deeply and bring more self-love into her life
00:37:36
Speaker
ready to know herself better, to stop feeling numb and to start experiencing pleasure. One woman is ready to be more turned on by life and she wants to have more intimacy in her relationship. She wants to learn about herself and have a better connection to her partner. Diving deeper into her sexuality, have orgasms with her partner and deepen the connection to herself.
00:37:59
Speaker
One woman wants to feel more empowered and learn how to access her sexual power. And one woman says, community, being with women who crave a life full of aliveness and pleasure, to discover myself on a much deeper level and truly feel liberated in my sexuality every day.
00:38:15
Speaker
I want to share with you because I know how scary this realm and this work is. But if you're listening to this podcast, it tells me that you're curious and it tells me that you're ready to be having these kinds of conversations. And I'm really excited to share that. And I wanted to share a little bit more around what this can look like when you're ready. One thing I will say is if you're curious about my program Saxpene, I would go back and listen to the two previous episodes I've done.
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each with two sex queens who have been through previous rounds. They share very openly, very authentically about what they experience in this program. I want to share what it means to be a sex queen. A sex queen is a powerful woman who owns her sensuality and is deeply and lovingly connected to her body. She rules her own pleasure, loves to seduce herself and her partner, and she oozes confidence in every area of her life.
00:39:07
Speaker
A sex queen is wildly liberated. She owns her bold voice and unfiltered self-expression. She does not tone herself down. Stay quiet or fear that she is too much. She is bold, fierce, and fearless. She owns who she is, she knows who she is, and she takes a stand for the liberation of all women. A sex queen is radiant and embodied in her sexual energy and her sexual power. She is turned on by herself and by life. She is guided by pleasure in her days.
00:39:36
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She knows what she wants, that she is damn worthy, and she is able to powerfully magnetise the money, the intimacy, the sex, love and life that she wants.
00:39:46
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That is what being a sex queen means to me. It is not necessarily about how many orgasms you can have or how many times you can have sex in a week. Those are arbitrary metrics that do not measure your sexual satisfaction. This is what is about. It is not about knowing so many types of sex positions and bending your body in all these different ways. It's about coming home to who you are and owning your power.
00:40:14
Speaker
And this is what you get as a result of sex queens. So I wanted to share that and invite you in if this is something that you are curious about and ready. And whether you're ready to change and transform your sex life, step more into who you are as a woman, to transform your relationship.
00:40:34
Speaker
or to go after the business that you want to create or go after that promotion or that next career move, becoming a sex queen and embodying your inner sex queen and unlocking your inner sex queen because she already exists inside of you. I'm just going to guide you on the path to help you reconnect and remember that part of yourself. Then this will allow you to go on that path and to
00:40:56
Speaker
create everything that you're dreaming. So what does being a sex queen mean to you? And you don't have to come through my programme, Sex Queen, to connect with your inner sex queen. That is not what I'm saying. But I really invite you to think, what does it mean to be a sex queen or in a sex goddess for you? Whatever resonates the most. For some women, it is someone who is embodied in her own essence, who is free and expressive in her authenticity and queen of her own pleasure.
00:41:23
Speaker
Being able to control my sexual pleasure and unlock it whenever I feel I need it. Fully harnessing my sexual power and pleasure for myself and be able to share that with a partner when I desire. Being a sex queen means stepping into my power and not being afraid to express how I truly feel and being someone who has turned on my life and taps into pleasure every day because she deserves it. Love it.
00:41:45
Speaker
Being fully embodying my sexual power so I'm fully connected to the sacred feminine power of sexuality and so that in my relationship I feel powerfully sexually too. Boom. Yes. Being confident and not afraid to be seen. Confident, sensual and feminine. Being confident in exploring and speaking to sexuality. Coming home to myself, exuding passion and aliveness inward and outward. No more hiding. Yes.
00:42:12
Speaker
Being empowered in my boundaries, being fierce, setting and voicing clear boundaries, and finding unconditional love for myself.
Living a Life of Sensuality and Community
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Love this so much. From some of the previous rounds of Sex Queen, the testimonials that the women were sharing is some of what I've been sharing with you.
00:42:31
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that was given permission for me to share. The session that they loved the most out of the 12 weeks was the one around reclaiming their shadows and healing their shame and accessing their sexual energy and understanding the archetype of the dark feminine where they can be in those dark parts of themselves that they can be celebrated and understood as well. And finally, to cap this off,
00:42:57
Speaker
because I really want you to be curious about yourself sexually and sensually. And by the way, being connected with your sensuality is being tapped into your senses and to be tapped into your senses and into your sensuality just requires slowness. So if you're running around life like a headless chicken,
00:43:17
Speaker
constantly living by your to-do lists, trying to check off all of the things and be a productive, get shit done queen. You are cutting yourself off from the pleasure that you really deserve and that you can create for yourself. And I invite you to slow down, to tune into your senses, to see how things taste and smell and what you can touch and what you can feel and what you can see and what you can hear and really allow yourself to
00:43:42
Speaker
enjoy and luxuriate in the sensations and the textures of life. That is where true pleasure comes from. That is how you get connected to sensuality. And that is how you start the journey of being a sex queen and living this pleasure-filled life. Everybody desires more pleasure, more confidence, more connection to themselves, more connection to express themselves freely in intimacy, to reclaim their sexual power, because we all know that
00:44:09
Speaker
A lot of us have been giving our power away because that's what we've been taught to do for so long. And it's time that we changed that.
00:44:15
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The invitation for you is to reclaim all of this parts of yourself, to come home to yourself and to live a sexy, alive, wild, rich, incredible turned on life. If you would like to do that, then I invite you to join sex queen. You can message me for the details. There will be information in the show notes. Let's have a conversation. I know how scary this is in the intake forms from the women. Their biggest fear for some of them is talking about this amongst other women and doing this.
00:44:42
Speaker
in front of other people and in community. And often what we fear the most is what has the most profound healing effect. And that is the one thing that the women always say after experiencing my work is, wow, how freeing, liberating and healing it was to be able to have these conversations. That is how we break the taboo of these topics and how we feel comfortable. The ripple effect when you feel that comfort and you feel safe to take that back out into your life changes everything.
00:45:09
Speaker
So I am going to read out some testimonials from women of what it's like in my sex queen program. And I might do another episode where I really dive into what can be expected and explored. If you're curious, just let me know if that's of interest. So here we go. This program goes beyond any expectations. With her passion, Steph was guiding me through all phases of my sexuality and connecting with my body and my woman self.
00:45:35
Speaker
I thought I knew a lot with my 51 years, but I was wrong. She opened the doors for true self-love, that power that all women have and is not explored enough. This is a must program for all women, no matter their age. It is about a deep and powerful connection with yourself. Oh, yes.
00:45:54
Speaker
And she's 51. How incredible doing this work. It is never too late. Before sex queen, I felt like I had a good relationship with my sexuality. I still had onto some sexual shame, but I had accepted this as normal and wasn't sure what healing would look like for me. I had tried to heal on my own and thought I did okay, but sex queen blew me away. I did not have expectations to receive all that I did from this. I've received deeper healing and reconnection to my sexuality by being in this container with other women walking alongside me.
00:46:24
Speaker
than i ever could have done on my own. we are meant to heal and grow in community and you will receive that within sexqueen. Steph is an angel who embodies her sexuality so well that it gives permission for other women to feel safe in doing so. i trust my body like never before and this is something i get to cultivate from now on with what i've learned and resources i've received to keep. sexqueen will keep you deeper than within yourself and i promise you you won't be the same woman afterwards.
00:46:48
Speaker
And you'll be so extremely grateful for that. I know I am. Oh, I love this. Okay. One more. Before embarking on the sex queen journey, I felt pretty disconnected from my pussy and my feminine power. In this journey, I loved learning how self-pleasure can transform the relationship with having myself and my body. This has already created massive shifts in my life and I'm actively choosing to do things that bring me joy and pleasure.
00:47:10
Speaker
I'm showing up more authentically because of that. For example, I just moved to a new city. I've started taking heels, dancing classes, and I'm having a blast. And I also love being seen as a sensual woman in this way. Oh yeah. Okay, final one. I wasn't really sure what I was getting myself into or what I thought I would get out of it, but what I didn't expect was the magnitude of a transformation I would receive.
00:47:33
Speaker
I didn't even realize how much shame and trauma I was carrying that I was able to release as well as understanding the sacredness of sexuality in such a pure energetic way. By shifting old pain and blocks I am now able to find so much joy, ease, and magnetism in my everyday just from being so much more connected to myself and my sexuality.
00:47:54
Speaker
This is the journey of sex queen. I would love to invite you into it. And if you're not ready, that is okay. But I invite you to still start to have more open conversations. And if you do desire some change, take some action. Maybe it's start doing the journal prompts I've shared with you. Maybe it's having the conversations. Maybe it's getting some books to start to explore sex and relationships and sexuality more so that you can take those action steps to
00:48:21
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create what you're really desiring because you deserve that. That's the invitation. Don't let it be a gym membership that you buy and that you never use. And then you end up canceling. If you want the change in your life, you got to put the time and energy into creating that. You deserve that. You deserve pleasure. And I'm excited to hear from you what you've loved about this episode. Last thing I'm going to request
00:48:45
Speaker
If you have not subscribed to the show, I would love for you to do so and to leave a review, please. And thank you. I love to hear what's resonating and to be able to share this with more people. So let me know if you're loving this and thank you in advance. Lastly, if there are any specific topics that you're desiring to hear about any guests that you want me to bring on, please send me a message on Instagram or send me an email. I would love to hear where you're at and what you're desiring and
00:49:12
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maybe even some challenges that you're experiencing or desires that you have so i can create a lined podcast content that really speaks to you so know that i'm open for those and looking forward to hearing from you.