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Embrace Your Queen Energy: A Guide to Getting the Love You Desire - Solo Episode | EP 13
95 Plays1 year ago
This episode is all about how to embody your Queen energy to help you get the love and life you desire.
Get ready to hear all about:
- My journey of connecting with my inner Queen
- How I used to want to be invisible and would never speak up
- Feminine Archetypes
- The divine and shadow side of the Queen Archetype
- Signs you’re out of balance with your inner Queen
- How to have boundaries without being a bitch
- How to embody your Queen energy
- My tips of where to start
If you’re ready to embody your Queen energy, dive into my program Like A Queen, this will have you embodying your powerful, confident and unapologetic Queen energy in 60 days.
If you’re ready to reclaim your pleasure, power and femininity then you’ll love Sex Queen, my signature sacred sexuality group program for you if you want to experience MORE intimacy, MORE orgasms and step into your sexual empowerment era that will help you embody more bold, confident and magnetic energy in every area of your life, join the free waitlist to get all of the details.
Connect with Steph on Instagram.
Connect with Steph on TikTok.
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Transcript
Introduction to Unfiltered Femme Podcast
00:00:04
Speaker
Welcome to the Unfiltered Femme podcast. Your new world to get the lowdown on all things pleasure, sexuality, the mysterious female body, dating, relationships and everything you need to know to step into your most unfiltered, unapologetic, empowered and turned on self.
00:00:22
Speaker
I'm Steph Morris, a love, sex and intimacy coach and along with some incredibly fabulous guests, I'm here to spill the tea on those topics that are typically hush hush. The juicy things that you want to know all about that have maybe been a little bit too shy to talk about.
00:00:39
Speaker
Think of me as your fearless guide and partner in crime, creating a space for the unfiltered, the raw, the authentic chats where nothing is off limits and there's no such thing as too much. The Unfiltered Femme podcast is all about breaking down those walls and celebrating what it means to be an unfiltered, feminine being. I hope you're ready for a wild ride. Let's dive right in.
What is Queen Energy?
00:01:03
Speaker
I'm so excited for this episode to share with you one of my favorites topics. Let's dive into what is Queen energy? How do you embody this energy in your life and how this is going to help you get what you want? So if you are desiring love, if you are desiring intimacy, if you are desiring to grow your business, if you're desiring more money to attract
00:01:30
Speaker
high quality friendships, people, experiences into your life, then this is for you. Especially if you are single, you need to know this. If you're a business owner, you need to know this, a content creator. If you are in a relationship,
00:01:46
Speaker
And you're desiring to maybe transform that relationship in some way to be met in more depth, more intimacy, and sort of morph your relationship perhaps so that your partner is more in his masculine and you are more in your feminine. So you can create that.
00:02:05
Speaker
Deep intimacy and polarity, you know, the hot chemistry, the sexy vibes, then this is definitely going to be for you. So let's dive into this. This is all about the queen archetype and how to embody this energy in your daily life. This is going to change the game for you once you understand this and actually play with this energy.
00:02:26
Speaker
and start learning how to embody this. Because this is all around the energetics, though there is some healing that is required here so that you can fully embody this energy. It's not just a switch that you can flick on. It's not just like, hey, I'm in my queen energy today. It is deeper than that. And there are often pieces of yourself that need to be reclaimed, parts of yourself that need to be healed, and acceptance that you need to come into around different
00:02:53
Speaker
aspects of yourself. So let's dive in to this episode. If you don't know me by now, then you're going to learn to know that I love this archetype so much. And many of my programs and offerings are around the queen archetype and the queen energy. And why is this? I personally have found that
00:03:18
Speaker
within my own life, when I started to embody this energy, things started to change for me. Things started to transform. And the things that I was manifesting and I deeply desired started to come into my life with more ease. I felt more confident. I felt more powerful, more magnetic, more radiant. And it showed massive results for me. And I started to test this out with clients and working with clients. And the results that I saw there were also incredible and transformational and powerful.
00:03:48
Speaker
Lots of life, life-changing results from my clients. And so I wanted to create programs where I guide women to embody this energy.
Misconceptions of the Queen Archetype
00:03:56
Speaker
So if you love this episode and you want more information, I'll put it in the show notes, but we have like a queen, I have sex queen. Those are the two that are really focused on this archetype.
00:04:06
Speaker
and you'll understand why by the end of this episode so the queen archetype is often misunderstood if you think about the queen even as i'm saying this what comes to your mind when i talk about the queen are you thinking about the monarchy are you thinking about
00:04:20
Speaker
Disney movies and the Queens that you were shown growing up perhaps in those movies. Because oftentimes the Queen was represented in those movies either as a weak figure in comparison to the King or
00:04:38
Speaker
An evil villain, right? So the queen is very misrepresented and misunderstood and there's much more to this archetype than meets the eye. So let's dive into this. How can you actually embody the characteristics of a queen in your daily life? And let's dive into how this is going to benefit you. So first of all, if you don't know what archetypes are.
00:04:59
Speaker
Archetypes, the use of archetypes was pioneered by Carl Jung in psychology, and archetypes are a universal symbol representing specific behavior patterns, emotions, and thoughts. So archetypes are the building blocks to our personalities. They are found in literature and art and music and mythology and religion across all cultures, and they're present in our own lives as well. And so when we have
00:05:22
Speaker
archetypes specifically what i'm referencing here queen is part of one of the feminine archetypes are also masculine archetypes so masculine archetypes are king warrior magician lover feminine archetypes we have the queen we have the lover we have the huntress we have the wise woman the wild one many archetypes i play with in my work because it's very powerful to.
00:05:44
Speaker
help women try on different personalities, essentially, and claim the parts that feel the best to them. So these are archetypes that have been, we're kind of like putting on a cloak in these ways. You can also work with self-sourced archetypes. And I do that in my work as well, where I'll have women choose an archetype to work with and they will play with that. So this could be sexual archetypes such as the sacred slut or
00:06:12
Speaker
Tantrica, Initiatris, Kali, Aphrodite, Venus, from mythology. There's so many different archetypes that you can play with. Seductress, the bitch, the dominatrix. We can go on and on. The latter here was some sexual archetype examples that I guide women to choose in my programme. Sexqueen. When I'm working in other ways, I'll have women play with the feminine archetypes, the lover, the huntress, the wild woman, the wise woman.
00:06:40
Speaker
The queen and so on. And my retreats are focused on embodying a different feminine archetype each day. It's very powerful, powerful work when you explore different archetypes.
Queen Energy in Business
00:06:50
Speaker
So the queen archetype is an archetype that symbolizes a woman who has gained control of her own life.
00:06:58
Speaker
When a woman is embodied in this queen archetype, she has a voice and she uses it to make herself heard. She's unafraid to speak up for herself, knowing that she deserves what she desires. She deserves what she wants and she deserves what she needs. When a woman is embodied in her queen archetype, she is nurturing patient and fierce when it comes to protecting her loved ones.
00:07:22
Speaker
So the queen archetype can be found throughout history in many different cultures across the globe. The queen can be both nurturing and protective.
00:07:32
Speaker
So the Queen archetype is a very excellent role model and the Queen inspires others through her passion, through her strength of character and good judgment. And as such, she's a great leader and she can inspire people to follow her, to follow her guidance that will stick around longer than they would under another type of leadership style. So you can see how here.
00:07:55
Speaker
If you're embodying this queen energy and you're a business owner or you're a content creator or you're a manager or you're progressing your career, you want to be embodying this queen energy. Because when you do, people will respect you. People will listen to you. People will follow what you have to say in your guidance because it's coming from this empowered and protective place. It's not a manipulative energy. It is powerful.
00:08:20
Speaker
And so let's dive deeper. The queen is an archetype of leadership, but not domination. So the queen is has this nurturing energy. She doesn't let other people take advantage of her. Queen energy is about teaching others, but not trying to control them.
00:08:38
Speaker
And she listens carefully to others' opinions. So we could see this being very powerful. Let's take corporate examples, corporate world as an example. If more women were in positions of power, and I'm talking positions of management, and they're in their queen energy,
00:08:58
Speaker
There's going to be a different level of management and probably success in teams. There's a book that's coming to mind called, why so many... What's the book called? Oh my God, I read it a few years ago and met the author at an event that I was at years ago. Why so many incompetent men become leaders or something like that.
00:09:19
Speaker
And it was really fascinating because it was talking about how confidence gets confused for competence. And we really see that in corporate America, in politics, in business, that a lot of men are embodying this ego energy, this arrogance, this confidence. The loudest voice wins. I'm going to put myself out there. I'm going to make decisions quickly and I'm going to
00:09:46
Speaker
move forward in this direction but it's not actually taking others into account it's not actually inspiring others yes you can maybe drive a business forward but are you actually having the support of the people around you or does everybody hate you is everybody disrespect you you know just using this as an example if somebody's in their queen energy.
00:10:05
Speaker
Then they're going to take those actions, move in the direction of forward, inspire people, respect people, listen, take others into consideration. So it is a very powerful energy and that's using business as an example because I've worked with many women.
00:10:21
Speaker
Help them step into this power energy which is really created big results for them in the way that they show up in relationships but also the way they're showing up in their work and in their business and if you are maybe desiring to start a business one day or you have that. I hope that passion inside and you just not fully confident and maybe you don't believe in yourself enough this archetype is gonna be very very powerful for you.
00:10:46
Speaker
We're also going to dive into this in the context of dating and relationships. So let's keep going.
Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies
00:10:52
Speaker
The queen archetype can teach you about being more in touch with your feminine power. So if you're a woman.
00:10:59
Speaker
then you got to get in touch with your feminine power. This is really powerful. It doesn't mean that you have to spend all of your time in your feminine energy. No, not at all. It's really about finding harmony and being in balance. And if you want to hear more about being in balance with your masculine and your feminine energies, then go back a few episodes. I think it's episode 10 or 11, where I share in the podcast about masculine and feminine energies and how you can embrace both and why being in harmony with both is really important. So when you're in this queen,
00:11:27
Speaker
archetype energy, you know how to speak up for yourself without coming across as aggressive, defensive, or rude. You know how to set boundaries without, again, being defensive. It's just, nope, hard no. And you don't even have to explain yourself, but it's coming from this empowered place. When you're in this queen archetypal energy, you have this innate sense of intuition and that really helps you to navigate situations effectively. And I have talked about this on the podcast as well.
00:11:57
Speaker
how my connection to my inner compass, my connection to my intuition has been the saving grace for me in 2023. Honestly, that has helped me navigate some really challenging situations, like the hardest challenges of my life I have experienced and the reason why I was able to move through them with compassion and with grace
00:12:19
Speaker
And to a certain degree with ease, not ease around the situation, it was still very stressful. Though with ease of how I was able to make decisions was because I had such a deep connection to my intuition that was guiding me. That is seriously the best connection that you can have because it takes a lot of mental fatigue out of your life. You don't have to be up in your mind all the time trying to make decisions based on purely logic.
00:12:44
Speaker
It's really about having the connection to both to logic and emotion, having the connection to your intuition because your intuition is not going to guide you wrong. And then when you make decisions from this place, the thing that I always say to people is trust that you made the best decision with the information that you had in the place that you were in. And you can never shame or guilt or criticize yourself for that decision. When you know you made that decision from an empowered place, you'll never be wrong. You just have to be in trust because your intuition won't guide you wrong.
00:13:14
Speaker
Even when sometimes it feels like you're going down this big roller coaster and maybe it's not the straight path. So is life. All right. Diving on deeper around the queen. We love the queen. So in fairy tales and even in our own lives, we see a lot, a lot of misrepresent, misrepresentation around the queen where we're actually seeing the shadow side of the queen. And this is where.
00:13:42
Speaker
Again, if you've listened to episodes before about mass confirmed energies, you know that we have a healed side. We have a wounded side and a healthy side. We have the divine and the wounded. I don't really like the word toxic. I don't think it's very helpful because it's wounded energy that we can heal.
00:14:02
Speaker
Same thing when it comes to the archetypes, there's always a healthy, and then there's a shadow side. And so we have seen a lot of representation around queens, this queen archetype as the shadow sides where they are mean, wicked and evil. And this is not a real queen. This is not queen energy. The queen has remembered who she is.
00:14:23
Speaker
Someone who's in that Queen energy has come home to her body and I reference women a lot as Queens. I say, hi, Queen. And when I'm saying that to somebody, I'm really referencing and seeing her in her power.
00:14:38
Speaker
in her light and in her sovereignty and in her divinity. And that is the way that I reference it. I personally don't like when women call each other girl or girly. Hi, girly. Hi, girl. To me, that's a little bit offensive and a little bit patronizing. And I know it's done in a jokey way and I know it's
00:15:01
Speaker
It doesn't mean anything, but to me, I'm very aware of the subtleties of communication and language. And that to me being called a girl or a girly is a little bit like I'm not five years old. I am a woman in her thirties who's in her fucking queer energy. So don't call me a girl, you know, same thing around guys.
00:15:25
Speaker
around men. I don't know if guys, now I'm doubting myself saying is guys offensive, but that's different to saying boys, but I will only say guys and reference to men. I won't call women guys, just FYI. But when it comes to being around men, I will not let them call me a girl. Like if someone's like, oh yes, you're a cool girl. I'm like, woman, queen.
00:15:54
Speaker
actually, and I am not afraid to say that. And it also, the tonality is important. I can do it in a way that's disarming and can spark conversation. And usually it leaves so very open and fun and insightful conversation for the people that I'm around. P.S., another one, another one here that really winds me up is when people say, stop being such a pussy, I will yell out, do not say that whoever I'm around.
00:16:23
Speaker
If you've been to my retreats and you've heard someone say that, I'll literally yell out, don't say that. And again, it's coming from this empowered place. I'm not judging anybody saying that. We all grew up saying that. I used to say that. Don't be a pussy. And then the other one we say is grow some balls. Well, this is all subtly programming us to believe that the feminine.
00:16:44
Speaker
is less desirable and is weak and the masculine is to be celebrated and it's tough and it's strong. So side note, lovingly letting you know that if you still say those things, try not to. And if you have kids, encourage them not to say that, but it's really good conversation and topic to dive into because it's just not helpful and it's not necessary. And there are other
00:17:09
Speaker
There are other ways of communicating and other phrases that we can say that aren't creating this very subtle programming and conditioning into us. So let's dive into the shadow queen. What does the shadow queen look like? What are some characteristics and traits of somebody who is in the shadow side of this queen energy? Unloving, controlling, very cold, lonely.
00:17:38
Speaker
Vengeful, angry, judgmental. Ooh, that's a big one. That is a big one, judgmental. So that is what the shadow queen looks like. So that is a representation that you might have seen in the movies around a queen.
Traits of a Shadow Queen
00:17:55
Speaker
But as you know, that is not a true queen. We do not aspire to be in those energies. If we're in those energies, that's okay. Humans by nature are judgmental, though we can reprogram our minds and we can reprogram ourselves to start to look at people.
00:18:13
Speaker
in a new light and that starts with looking at ourselves in a new light. The people that are the most judgmental to others are the most judgmental to themselves. And that's where it begins. And it's all a mirror. It's all a reflection of our relationship to ourselves. So everything really begins and ends with how we see ourselves, how we love ourselves.
00:18:31
Speaker
and the relationship that we have to ourself and to our inner child. And that determines the way that we see the world, the way that we see other people. And it's very telling. You can tell by having a conversation with somebody or spending, you know, a few hours with somebody, what their relationship to self is based on the way they interact with other human beings and the subtle language that they're using. You can see in someone's body language, the energy that they're in and so on. So let's explore a healthy queen.
00:18:58
Speaker
Healthy Queen, somebody that's in that divine Queen energy. So the characteristics are being a leader, powerful, sovereign, aligned with herself and her life. So living in alignment, brave and courageous, able to inspire others, leads with her heart.
00:19:17
Speaker
That one, a queen says what she means with kindness, yet she's unapologetic. A queen speaks her truth and takes full personal responsibility. So if you are in your victim energy, gotta work through that because you're not going to be in your queen energy and your victim energy at your same time. So there is an invitation there. So get curious, have a little think to yourself, maybe grab out your phone or your journal, what characteristics or traits
00:19:47
Speaker
Are you currently embodying? Are there some aspects that you can see that you're in your shadow side of the queen and then also in the healthy side of the queen, the divine? So get curious on, on this, cause it's going to be really helpful for you to explore. Let's dive into it. So what is your relationship to the queen archetype currently?
00:20:11
Speaker
What areas of life do you think it would be most beneficial to you to embody this queen archetypal energy? What are some ways that you can commit to showing up in this? Are there boundaries that you need to set with people? With your partner, with your friends, with your family, perhaps there are always stronger standards, higher standards and boundaries that we can implement.
00:20:39
Speaker
And sometimes it's boundaries with yourself. So boundaries are a big one. Get really curious on that and see where you can start to implement some more boundaries in your life. So to really balance out this energy, there are some different things that you can do, but first let's go into some more signs that you might be out of balance with this energy.
00:21:04
Speaker
Are you afraid of your own power? This is a big one. Do you keep yourself small? Do you dim your light? Do you perhaps physically make yourself smaller by hunching over by perhaps playing it safe in terms of the outfits that you wear by staying quiet, staying small, staying invisible. This was a big one for me. I used to.
00:21:29
Speaker
only wear jeans and a t-shirt. Like if I was going out for dinner, go on a date night or whatever, I would go in my closet and we'd be like, yeah, I'm going to wear jeans and a t-shirt and a jacket. And I had such a fear of being overdressed. Like literally I had a fear of being overdressed because I didn't want attention to be drawn upon me.
00:21:52
Speaker
I wanted to be invisible and I talked about this in a podcast that I was on recently and did an Instagram post about it. I was asked a question on the podcast, would you want to have the power of being invisible or being able to fly? And I was like, that's really funny because I used to want to be invisible until about four years ago, like genuinely.
00:22:09
Speaker
So I would opt to have the ability to fly. So no, I don't want to be invisible because that was how I lived so much of my life. And I see this a lot with women that I work with in my programs and in one-to-one. They're afraid of their own power. They're afraid of being seen. This is a big one. And they play it safe. And one way that we play it safe is in the clothing that we wear, in the accessories.
00:22:35
Speaker
We have the staples to keep it simple. We say, I'm not really into dressing up, or it's not really my thing, or I don't really do jewelry. Well, why is that? Get really curious. And maybe you genuinely just don't like jewelry.
00:22:49
Speaker
and it's annoying to you or maybe you're telling yourself you don't like jewelry or you're telling yourself you don't need to buy clothes or you're telling yourself something but then when you dig deeper you actually see that you have a fear of rejection or you have a fear of being seen or maybe it doesn't feel safe to be seen.
00:23:06
Speaker
So you play it safe and you play it small and you act like the plain Jane so that people can't really see you. Interesting one to get really curious. And one thing I'll say also is that more women are afraid of their own power than they are afraid of failure. So simmer on that one are the ways that you might notice that you're not fully in balance with your queen energy. You might self-sabotage a lot. And this is links to the point before it's so that you don't become too powerful.
00:23:36
Speaker
What if I am successful? What if I am this powerful? Will that mean, and you fill in the blank for yourself, get curious with yourself. But sometimes the question is if I become too powerful and too successful, my friends won't like me or my parents will judge me or everybody will want something from me or.
00:23:56
Speaker
my relationship with my partner might end because he won't be able to handle it. Get really curious on that one. Boundaries, we talked about this already, but if you struggle with boundaries, you're a people pleaser. You let other people walk all over you and you're very indecisive and like to outsource your decisions to other people. There is a sign for you. You might also feel
00:24:19
Speaker
And this is one I talked about in episode one of the podcast. You might feel that other people are superior to you. So you might put yourself beneath others or you feel superior to other people. So in episode one of the podcast, I shared a personal story about how I used to do this. I was not in my queen energy at all. I used to rank women.
00:24:41
Speaker
based when I would meet them, based on whether they were cooler than me or not. And I would want to hang around people who I felt I was maybe a little bit cooler than, like I was a bit superior to them. And this is not based on facts. This is based on my own internal wounding and not enough-ness, unworthiness. So it definitely was not
00:25:02
Speaker
valid in any way or true, but it was true inside of me. So anyway, we worked through that now, but I'm sharing this because as I have shared this, a lot of women have said to me, Oh my gosh, I do that too. I didn't know the people do that. Yes, people do it all the time. Women do it as well with guys when they're dating on the apps. This can be a pattern that comes up is they will maybe not go for the guys that are, they perceive as being superior to them, or maybe they're only attracting
00:25:31
Speaker
guys that they perceive to be less than them or lower standard than them, perhaps. So this can show up in many different ways. And if you are doing that internal ranking thing, massive sign that you're out of balance here, don't judge yourself, but just have the awareness around it.
00:25:48
Speaker
We are all equals. We're just on a different path and different growth journey, but there is nobody that is above you or beneath you. We are all humans and we got to do the work to, to heal that part of ourselves that is judging others and creating that inner ranking system. Another sign that we have is you might feel really threatened by other women.
00:26:12
Speaker
You might feel jealous of other women. You might feel judgmental of, of other women. And that's a big sign that this is really, really common and people that don't have the awareness of, of this, it can be very detrimental to friendships, especially amongst other women. Jealousy is normal. Jealousy is, is normal, is a normal emotion to feel. And there's nothing that we'd have to judge ourselves for that, but we do get to work through it. And so we get to choose how we interact with that feeling. And oftentimes this information.
00:26:41
Speaker
that we can use to gain further awareness and insight around a situation and a relationship perhaps.
00:26:49
Speaker
So if you feel easily threatened by other women, you ain't in your queen energy. Another, another sign here. You may feel lost or incomplete without your King. Mmm. Codependency. We are smelling you there. You might use your power to pin, to manipulate or control others, either consciously or unconsciously. Sometimes women can do this with their sexuality.
00:27:14
Speaker
If they're in their wounded energy, they will use their sexuality to get what they want, to manipulate men or to manipulate other people. And again, no judgment. It's simply having the awareness and healing that wounded part of yourself that is trying to get an unmet need met. So you're using your sexuality as power. You may also lack groundedness.
00:27:36
Speaker
and might take life too seriously. If this is you, then your queen is out of balance. One thing to note about the queen archetypal energy that we're discussing here today is a queen is fully embodied in her sensuality and her sexuality. So a queen has really reclaimed those lost, rejected and disconnected parts of herself. And she is whole. She has remembered who she is. She has come home to her body.
00:28:02
Speaker
So this is really important to remember that you can do all of the things. You can understand all of this though. If you're not in your body, if you're not connected to yourself on a really deep level, if you haven't really come home to yourself on a deep level, if you are not embodied in your, in your body, in your sexuality, in your sensuality, then there is still.
00:28:27
Speaker
A layer, many layers of work to be done to reclaim that part of yourself. And there's a massive difference between being embodied in that and using that for manipulation or using that in some other way. Very, very different energy. You can tell when a woman is embodied in her sexuality, when she has reclaimed that part of herself, when she is embodying her sexual goddess, sex queen energy.
00:28:57
Speaker
You can see, you can tell, you can feel it. So bear that in mind and it's just the deepest work that a woman can do. It is the most powerful, the most healing and the most transformational work that a woman can do is go on a sacred sexuality journey of reclaiming and taking back that part of herself. So not to share that.
00:29:24
Speaker
So let's dive in here into how you can embrace your queen energy. So embodying that queen energy, there are different things that you can do. Of course, there are meditations, breath work, somatic practices. It's an energy. You got to get into your energy body, which means you have to get out of your mind. So really connecting with your body.
00:29:45
Speaker
You can journal out. So I have a journal prompt for you to do. This is something that we do every week in my group program. Sex Queen is, there's a different energy or archetype that they play with and you journal out. How will I live as a queen this week? So how can you.
00:30:02
Speaker
live as a queen for the next seven days, thinking about how would you move? How would you breathe, behave, think, eat, make love, speak, walk down the street, show up in work, show up in sex, show up in your partnership as this queen energy. How will you do all of these things? How will you embody the queen energy before going on a date whilst you're scrolling on the apps or intentionally perhaps trying to get a date or
00:30:31
Speaker
Show up in your relationship create content all of these things. How will you embody a queen energy to do that so journal out on that one and then do that be her and you can play with different i really encourage women to explore.
00:30:50
Speaker
with the external. The external can really help to facilitate the connection on the internal. So what does this mean? This means trying on different clothes or wearing jewelry or doing your hair or doing your makeup or dressing in some different way or listening to some music.
00:31:09
Speaker
There are so many ways that we can play in energies, just like we can play dress up for Halloween. No problem. It's easy for people to do, right? Like imagine you're doing that, but you're embodying this queen energy. How will you show up? Maybe it's wearing a lot of gold. Maybe it's wearing some sexy lingerie. I don't know what your embodiment of the queen looks and feels like.
00:31:31
Speaker
It's going to be different for everybody and there's no one size fits all for this. This is you finding and defining your own expression of this queen archetype. Some other ways that you can really tap into this queen energy. So embracing your power.
00:31:47
Speaker
The first step to embodying your queen energy is knowing that you have the ability to take control of your life and you are responsible for the results that you get in your life.
Aligning Decisions with Personal Values
00:31:57
Speaker
You are responsible for the reality that you are living. So take full personal responsibility for everything and you have to get so tired and sick of your own bullshit that you're ready to say, I am in control, but I'm also not in control. There's a lot of things you can't control in life.
00:32:16
Speaker
And with that, you are the one responsible for your life. You are responsible for the results that you create. And so take that responsibility and take your power back and stop giving your power away to other people, to your job.
00:32:36
Speaker
to the man in your life. If you're dating, if you're in a relationship, maybe to your father, to your dad, to your parents, to your siblings, to the people that have wronged you, to the people that have caused pain and hurt in your life.
00:32:51
Speaker
Valid. I'm not invalidating your experience. However you feel is so valid. And also you have to reclaim your power and you have to go on that journey. And I know it's not as simple as doing that. So if that's a struggle for you, find the support that is going to help you to take that power back and to do that DP link so that you can do so. And so that you are comfortable and able to set healthy boundaries with yourself.
00:33:17
Speaker
and with the people in your life. Make decisions that align with your values. What are your values? Do you know what your values are? Do you know what your vision is for your life? Do you know how you want to feel in one year and five years time? Do you know what is most important to you at this phase in your life? Because maybe that's changed over the last few years. I would hope that it has as you have grown and evolve. So get really clear on where you're going and how you want to feel and what you desire, especially in terms of a relationship. Everybody on the planet,
00:33:46
Speaker
wants a beautiful relationship. Everybody wants to be in love. Everybody wants this dream, romantic, incredible relationship. And all the women that I work with, they want a strong, healthy, divine, masculine man to take the lead so that she can soften so that she can surrender so that she doesn't have to do everything and be everything and be freaking exhausted because she's with a man that will take care of her, that will protect her.
00:34:12
Speaker
that will provide, and I don't mean that financially, I mean in the energy of providing. That is what women want. And if you want a man who's in his divine masculine King energy, you have to be a match for that. If you are in your victimology, if you are in that maiden energy of, I need someone to save me, I need a man to come and save me so that I will be whole, so that I will be happy, so that I can live the life I truly want.
00:34:38
Speaker
You're only going to attract a partner and a man who's in his wounded energy. You're not going to attract a man who's in his King energy. If you're not in your Queen energy, this is what this is about. This is why this is game changing. If you're going out on dates and it's not working, are you in your Queen energy? Look back and reflect. If you're dating.
00:34:57
Speaker
And if you're single, if you've been in relationships, look back and reflect what energy were you in? What energy was your partner in? What energy were you in when you were going out on dates? What energy were you in or are you in as you are?
00:35:11
Speaker
on the apps or you're going out and about, you're being set up on a blind date or whatever the situation doesn't matter. But be really honest with yourself about your energy and take responsibility for you because there are a lot of wounded people. And I think the dating game is a little bit wild.
00:35:30
Speaker
So with that, if you're in your queen energy and you are in your power and you have your boundaries and you're living with an open heart and you take full responsibility and you're in your embodied in your sexual goddess energy and you're powerful.
00:35:46
Speaker
And you're in alignment. It's only a matter of time. It is inevitable that your person will come to you. You will meet your person because you have taken responsibility and done everything that you needed to do. And it's only a matter of time. And you can be in that certainty because you're not looking for something from a place of lack. You are desiring something from a place of what you want. You don't need it. You desire it. Two very different things.
00:36:14
Speaker
So another thing for you to practice is speaking up. This is really hard, hard one for women. Practice speaking up. This can be as small as if you get the wrong order at a restaurant, don't sit there and smile and say it's okay when they fucked it up. Politely, kindly, with an open heart, ask for what you ordered. Ask or provide the feedback or at the coffee shop if they
00:36:40
Speaker
put too many sugars in the coffee and doesn't taste good. Tell them it's the really small things that are the most powerful to help you embody this energy and practice speaking up. This is where it begins. And the more that you do that, the stronger this skill becomes. I literally used to be silent. I kid you not. And now.
00:37:02
Speaker
I will always speak up. In fact, I can't stay quiet when something doesn't feel good inside because I did that for so many years that it just is a betrayal inside. Like there is literally pain and my mouth just opens and speaks. And this isn't in an unconscious way, it's in a healthy way and it's always with love. Though when you have, and maybe you can resonate with this,
00:37:30
Speaker
When you have been silent for so long and you've let people hurt you and you have not spoken up and you've allowed yourself to be mistreated and really thinking in relationships, I've done this a lot, especially the first relationship that I had. I didn't speak up and I held onto all of this pain inside of me. I didn't tell anybody and didn't say anything to him.
00:37:53
Speaker
all of these unhealthy things. And after that relationship ended, I was like, I'm never doing that again. I know that the next relationship I go into, and this is exactly what I did, I made a commitment to myself that I would not go into that relationship from a place of need and from a place of, I can't leave him because I love him too much and I need him. And what is my life going to be without him? Because that was what my first relationship was. It was a lot of fear base.
00:38:19
Speaker
When I went into the next relationship, I knew that I was there from a place of choice. And I knew that I have the strength and the power to walk away at any point, if this isn't in my high school, if this isn't in alignment with me. And of course, it's not as simple as that. We don't just wake up and walk away from a relationship, but going into a relationship in that conscious way of knowing I'm here because I choose to be here. And so I'm choosing this hard. I'm choosing this person. I'm choosing.
00:38:45
Speaker
to stick with them through these times because I'm making this conscious decision, it's not from a place of codependency or a place of lack. Very, very powerful and that served me very, very well. So that was a lesson from my first relationship and I'm very grateful for that experience now because I would not have these strong boundaries. I wouldn't be doing the work that I'm doing now had I not had these experiences. Relationships are our greatest teacher and there's something that people say
00:39:14
Speaker
I don't know who came up with this, but I love it. People are in our life for a reason, a season, or for life. And I think that's so powerful to know that not everyone's going to be in your life forever and they don't need to be. And that isn't the intention. And even with romantic relationships, sometimes it's a relationship that you need for that phase of your life. And it wasn't meant to be forever. And that's okay.
00:39:38
Speaker
And that is life. And that is life.
Self-Awareness and Personal Patterns
00:39:40
Speaker
So next, next step here, cultivate self-awareness. If you want to be in and embodying a queen energy, you have to be self-aware.
00:39:47
Speaker
Take time to reflect on your thoughts and your emotions on your behavior. Notice what patterns you fall into. Notice where you have avoidance. Notice where you're being anxious. Notice where you are being self-critical. Notice where you're self-sabotaging. Question yourself. Observe everything you're doing as if you're an outsider watching yourself. This is where you will start to notice these patterns and behaviors.
00:40:10
Speaker
Get really curious. Why do I think this way? Why do I have this belief? Why am I behaving in that way? Why did I react in that way? And you'll start to notice deeper levels of self-awareness. And self-awareness is everything. Everything. Everybody needs to have self-awareness, honestly. It's the best and it never ends.
00:40:30
Speaker
The more you can get curious about yourself and study yourself, like you are a scientist, the more fun it gets to be, the more interesting and the more that you can learn why you are the way that you are and start to choose differently. Okay. Next couple of things set higher standards for yourself. Okay. You have to have high standards. And this is very important when it comes to love.
00:40:55
Speaker
Don't settle for breadcrumbs. Don't settle for being ghosted. If someone ghosts you, they can fuck off. Like you're not going back there, okay? You need to have high standards for yourself. And this means having a clear vision of what you want, of what you want to achieve, of what you want to feel, like I just talked about, of being committed to excellence in everything that you do. So it starts with holding yourself to a high standard. Follow through on the things that you say you're going to do.
00:41:22
Speaker
and hold other people accountable for their actions. Again, when it comes to relationships, and this is whether you let's talk about relationships first, you have to have a really high standard for.
00:41:33
Speaker
your partnership. And this doesn't mean that you are nitpicking. This does not mean that you get to be a bitch. This doesn't mean that you are judgmental and criticizing. But you have to be clear on how you want to live your life, the kind of relationship you want, the intimacy that you want, how you want to feel with your partner. And it's your responsibility to create that outcome that you want. So it starts with embodying this queen energy and the second piece is really communicating that.
00:41:56
Speaker
If you're in a relationship and you're like, fuck, it's too late because we already have been together for five years, seven years, whatever, it's not too late. People can change. It starts with you changing. And then you get to being in the feminine. You, it's your responsibility to invite your partner.
00:42:13
Speaker
into that change and inspire him to create the change based on the way that you're being, the actions and behaviors you're displaying. And with time, there's a time delay. Of course, it's not instant, but with time, your partner's either going to match and come up to the standards that you have set or they're not. And wouldn't you rather set high standards for yourself and notice that actually my partner's not going to meet me there. This isn't going to be the relationship for me for the rest of my life. Wouldn't you rather know that than just settle and not hire your standards from a place of fear?
00:42:43
Speaker
I mean, you got to do you. You got to be in this queen energy because you deserve everything. And unfortunately, too many people are living from fear and too afraid to even set the high standards because they're fearful that that means a relationship will end. It might. It might end. And this isn't going to be instant. And I'm again, I'm saying this, not without compassion. I have compassion. I just don't want women settling and living
00:43:13
Speaker
an unsatisfied life because it's not necessary and it starts here. Okay. Last couple of things set. Sorry. I already said that one practice self-care. When you're in your queen energy, you don't have a problem putting yourself first. Self-care is very important. And I'm not just talking about, you know, the standard things like a bubble bath and go and get your nails done. That's great. That's physical self-care. What are you doing to nourish yourself emotionally, mentally, energetically?
00:43:43
Speaker
These pieces are important. So obviously it starts with the basics. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, move your body, nourish yourself physically with nutritious whole foods, but make sure you're taking it a level deeper by supporting yourself on an emotional level.
Leading with Compassion
00:43:55
Speaker
This is where breath work is the most powerful practice that you can do and regulating your nervous system and emotionally regulating yourself. And all of these practices you can get in my like a queen program, which is a 60 day self-paced program to go from hustling, being burnt out and exhausted to embodying your queen energy in
00:44:13
Speaker
60 days is three signature processes of breathwork of emotional regulation and feminine embodied flow, which is ultimately the quickest and best way for you to really get into your queen energy. And the next piece is leading with compassion. So the queen archetype leaves with compassion. She understands that true leadership is not about control. It's really empowering people. So how can you be kind, empathetic and understanding towards others while still maintaining your own boundaries and standards?
00:44:43
Speaker
This is really important. So how can you do this? Embody love as you lead and make decisions. Don't be operating from a place of ego. Take time to pause, take time to reflect and ask yourself, how would love and compassion show up at this moment? And lead in that way.
00:44:59
Speaker
Super powerful. So lastly, this queen archetype is so powerful. This can really help all of us tap into our inner strength to gain confidence and strengthen our relationship. So this is not an energy that you either have or you don't. You have the power within.
Magnetic Nature of Queen Energy
00:45:20
Speaker
to decide whether you're going to be a fucking queen or not be a queen. Okay. Embody this energy. And so this is such a powerful energy for you to embrace. Hopefully you can, hopefully you can see this. And I can't harp on about this enough that if you are dating
00:45:44
Speaker
you are the two that stand out to me most if you're dating and if you're in business or desiring to be in business this is gonna be absolutely fundamental for you you got to set the standard. You got to be in this energy and watch how you go up about the world.
00:46:00
Speaker
how this is going to shift the way that other people interact. Because if you're going out and about and interacting with people and you're coming from this place of, I know I'm a fucking bad bitch. I know I'm a queen. I am the prize. And
00:46:16
Speaker
you are auditioning to be in my space. And again, this is not coming from a place of arrogance, from a place of empowerment. When you're in that energy, people can feel that. People can sense that and they want what you have. They either want to be with you or they want to be around you.
00:46:36
Speaker
and know what you're doing because that energy is magnetic. So get into your body, practice these different pieces that I have laid out. And the most important one, which I don't want you to bypass, which you might have been listening to this and mentally said, yeah, but I'm not going to do that piece.
00:46:55
Speaker
sexuality sensuality how connected are you to your sensuality how comfortable are you in being seen as sexy how comfortable are you talking about sex how comfortable are you in intimacy with your partner in asking for what you need
00:47:13
Speaker
Okay. So this is where the queen energy shows up, not only in dating and relationships, it shows up in sex. It shows up in intimacy because I'm going to tell you a little secret here. Most women don't know what they like or what they want in the bedroom. How do I know? Cause I work with these women and I also used to be one. So you have to meet your own needs. So if you're listening to this, cultivate a beautiful self pleasure practice, get to know your own body, get to know what you like, what you don't like.
00:47:41
Speaker
your own boundaries in life, but also sexually. And when you are practicing being in this queen energy and other areas of life, you'll start to feel more confident, feel more in your power, and know that you get to ask for what you like, for what you need, for what you want in every area of life, but especially in the bedroom, because you do not get to be an unsatisfied, sexually unsatisfied and unfulfilled woman. You don't have to settle for that.
00:48:10
Speaker
So whatever lie you're telling yourself that I'm not a sexual person or I don't need this, or I just don't have a high desire. Wrong. And they say this with love. If you're disconnected from yourself sexually, then you probably are feeling that way. You probably feel like I'm not a very sexual person. I'm just not into that. It's not that important for me. We all have different libido, different levels of desire, different wants, different needs, though a woman who's in her power.
00:48:38
Speaker
And a woman who is fully embraced in her, in her feminine energy is a woman who has connected with her sexuality and sensuality. And oftentimes the reason why we can feel not very sexual or feel like we have low desire, have, have low desire is because we are disconnected from that part of ourself. It has been rejected internally.
00:49:03
Speaker
And you can transform that and you can heal that. And that is how you become even more radiant and magnetic and confident and in love with yourself. So I'm going to end it here. Do you agree?
00:49:19
Speaker
That being your queen energy is freaking powerful. I hope so. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you have questions or want me to dive into more specifics around dating relationships, career business, any of these pieces, let me know sexuality. We know we love this one. Always got to bring that up, haven't I? Because it is just absolutely game-changing. Let me know and let me know what you have loved about this episode and what you're taking away. I'd love for you to share on social media.
00:49:47
Speaker
A little snippet of you embodying your queen energy. So your challenge is to embody this energy for the next seven days. Share about it on social, tag me in this episode, and I'm going to link below as well as the information on the Like Queen program. If you know you want to dive right in, then do so. There's also free training that I will link below so you can get a little snippet of
00:50:07
Speaker
What this is all about, though I highly recommend, like a queen, it is the best place to start to get an intro into this work. And you're going to be guided fully and supported to be living in your freaking powerful queen energy in 60 days time. So enjoy. And I will catch you in the next episode.