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From Shame to Sovereignty: Ashley’s Journey to Embracing Her Inner Sex Queen | EP28
122 Plays9 months ago
In this empowering episode of Unfiltered Femme, I sit down with Ashley, a radiant client from my Sex Queen program, to share her deeply personal journey. Raised in a strict Catholic upbringing, Ashley opens up about overcoming the heavy weight of shame, transforming her life from pain-driven choices to a world of pleasure, self-celebration and authentic connection.
Ashley highlights her favorite moments in Sex Queen—from the profound release of yoni de-armoring to the sacred empowerment of yoni egg practices, sensual breathwork, and the life-changing pleasure rituals that reconnected her to her body and femininity. She also shares the magic of being part of a group of women who come together to openly share, connect and uplift one another, reminding us of the power in sisterhood.
For women curious about joining Sex Queen, Ashley has a heartfelt message.
Sex Queen is a 12-week sacred sexuality membership designed for high-performing women ready to embrace feminine energy, expand their capacity for pleasure and live a more joyful, fulfilled life. With weekly live calls, journal prompts, a private podcast and transformative themes like orgasmic mastery, archetype activation, and womb healing, this program is your invitation to step into your radiant, sensual self.
Ready to reclaim your pleasure and power? Join Sex Queen now.
And don’t forget to explore more about female sexuality, pleasure, and intimacy on my podcast with Jenna Miller, The Pleasure Playbook.
This episode is your permission slip to celebrate yourself, connect with your body, and embrace the queen within.
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Transcript
Introduction and Ashley's Empowerment Journey
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back to the Unfiltered Firm Podcast. I am so excited for this episode today. I am joined by an incredible, beautiful human being, Ashley, who is an amazing woman who I met on retreat, and she is a sex queen. So Ashley is very beautifully and courageously here today to share with us a little bit around her journey of experience in exploring my signature group program, Sex Queen. I am so excited for this conversation and so grateful that you are here. Ashley, thank you for being here and how are you today? Yay! Thank you for having me. Such an honor to be on this today and share my experience. I'm doing fabulous. I'm excited to share my experience that I had with you.
00:00:47
Speaker
Yay. I would love to start with a question of what does it mean to you to be embodied and connected and living as your inner sex queen? What it means to me at first, we'll go back to what my first before sex queen definition would be. And I never envisioned myself as someone who would sign up for something like this. I had my own.
00:01:16
Speaker
judgments around it, stuff like that. And, but I also knew there was a lot in my life that I was missing around sexuality, acknowledging that.
Group Dynamics and Personal Growth
00:01:24
Speaker
And I just felt so safe with you. So that's why I did join and coming out of the other end and completing it and showing up to the calls and doing the practices. What it means to me is just feeling really empowered to be who I am and really fully accepting myself in my body more and my sexuality more.
00:01:47
Speaker
And it truly has changed so many different ways in my life that I never would have even imagined. And yeah, it's so wild. I love that. And I'm so happy that you dove in and the said yes to this experience. And you are fully committed, fully there showing up. It's such an incredible journey to be able to witness. I would love to know if you're open to sharing what are some of those shifts, some of those changes that you've experienced through the journey?
00:02:16
Speaker
I think a lot of it is, I have a lot of air in my chart. I'm really big into astrology and it's so easy for me to say things, but not like fully feel them or embody them. And I'm moving into a place in my life where I am doing all these different things, meeting all these different people who are truly embodying what they preach isn't a good word, what they practice and what they want to teach everybody. and really the embodiment piece was so important and I know that's such like a broad used term that's used a lot. So it's really like feeling what I'm saying and like light bulbs going off on my head. Oh I've always said this but I've never truly felt like I understood. It was easy for me to say it like reading a dictionary definition but it was never truly felt in my body and I genuinely felt
00:03:09
Speaker
that through so many things throughout the whole process more towards the end.
Challenging Norms and Embracing Vulnerability
00:03:14
Speaker
I feel like when we had more opportunity to integrate and also we had a really supportive boxer chat and we had a really intimate group, which was so magical and having that safety with you as the woman teaching it and also with the other women that I've never actually met in real life just really I felt it made me feel safer to go deep because um it's easy for me to go deep on my own
00:03:43
Speaker
but there's so much you can learn through others and through their experiences that you are like, oh my gosh, this is a mirror for me and so much I can learn. And just really having that connection helps, I felt made me go a lot deeper too.
00:03:57
Speaker
Mm, that's so beautiful. I would love for you to touch a little bit on that connection of the private group chat that we have. It was honestly so magical to witness because it's different every time that I host this, obviously. This time was super special. The connection between those of you in there was just wild, like seeing how you were so intently listening and being in there every day and supporting and sharing so openly and vulnerable. it was truly incredible for me to witness and seeing those connections that have been formed between you. So can you share a little bit about that? Did you have hesitations going in about sharing other in front of other people? And how did that shift as the time, the three months that we spent together?
00:04:42
Speaker
Yeah, I agree. It was something I have never personally experienced before. it And I think a lot of that is because I've never really had a close group of girlfriends that have been able to share in that capacity and for a dedicated period of time. And we still connect to this day, which is amazing. But I feel like who I am as a person, like I am meant to start the conversation, talk about the things that we're not supposed to talk about.
00:05:13
Speaker
And this was one of those things that I didn't even know that I wanted to start talking about it more because there was so much shame around the word sex and orgasm and all the things that we learned about in sex queens. So redefining those terms really helped throughout the process. But overall,
00:05:30
Speaker
I didn't feel hesitation but I also didn't know that I could go deeper until the other women started sharing and we started building those connections because I remember week one, hi I'm Ashley, this is what happened. Like we had a practice that we did and then I shared what came up and then other women had said, oh my gosh, thank you for sharing. Now I feel like I can share and it just was like layers and layers of no question that we wanted to share. We were like in there every single day, even with stuff that wasn't specifically talking about the practice because it's just a huge ripple effect in our everyday life. And we were all starting to see that. And we were like, this is so cool. We have to share with the sex queen. Oh, I love it. It's so incredible. That's why it's important to me to have that space in that group because
00:06:21
Speaker
We go really deep on the live calls and there's all these new practices that you're diving into every day in in the days off the calls. And then being able to have that connection where you can share not only your experiences with the practice, but things that are coming up in your life of this happened or I'm feeling this way or an emotion is arising or.
00:06:39
Speaker
I'm dealing with this person relationship or interaction or date or whatever it is and having that safe space is truly just the most fun and incredible thing ever and yeah I'm truly celebrating all of you for being there and showing up and supporting each other in the way that you did it was incredibly special and I hope that we all get to meet in person and hug one day and look each other in the eye, give each other a big hugs. So I love this so much. I would love to know what was your journey like growing up? What was your relationship with sex, with your body, with orgasm, with
Sex Education and Overcoming Religious Shame
00:07:15
Speaker
pleasure? Because I think for a lot of people they hear,
00:07:17
Speaker
a program like sex queen and they think oh you have to be a certain kind of woman to dive into that or you have to there's two things I hear and one is either you don't have s sex or you're like really disconnected or you have some big struggle that you need to work with someone around sex that's what I hear from people oh If someone needs to work with a coach around sex, like they're making that, making a meaning out of what it is. Or there's the other side where it's like, oh, these people must be like super open and like really kinky and really connected. And they just want to go further. So are you open to sharing a little bit around what was your journey around that kind of f led to the point of you being like, okay, I think I am ready to dive into a program called sex queen.
00:07:57
Speaker
Yeah, I'd love to share. So it was one of those realizations, like I said, before I started, like I had done some magical pelvic therapy work because I had some pain around a period of time. And I was on birth control for most of my life, but not really educated around that in my body. And I already was, like I had this like judgment of I don't really need to do anything else because I've worked with someone one on one.
00:08:25
Speaker
And that was very profound and I knew how amazing it was. But this was like a whole other layer. So to answer your question about how I grew up, I was born and raised in a religion that Catholicism, that felt very constricting. Everything felt like a sin is how they labeled it. And there was so much shame around sexuality, around body parts around your period, around just so many things, anything to do with the sex organs was like, we don't talk about it. So literally my, I went to Catholic grade school from kindergarten to eighth grade and my parents, they were never like physical together around me and my sister. And they actually never slept in the same room growing up.
00:09:16
Speaker
So that was never something that I witnessed. And so in eighth grade, our sex talk, when I, you know, I don't think I was very naive and not understanding what things were. And my parents did the best they could. And I don't believe that that was something they knew how to even talk about or wanted to talk about because school was going to take care of it. Or I don't know what, why they didn't talk to us about it.
00:09:44
Speaker
But I remember my mom giving me a book that we probably all got because that's just what we got was like, I can't remember the name of it, but it was like an American girl book. And it like taught you about your period and like maybe like orgasm, like it mentioned, maybe it didn't even mention orgasm, but what semen is and what this is and stuff like that. And I remember just wanting that for my period, like to help understand more of what was going on. So in fifth grade, we had the nuns come in and talk to us about our periods.
00:10:11
Speaker
which was basically like, this is normal, you may get it. I didn't get it till later. So I was like, what are you even talking about? And then the priests went and talked to the boys about getting an erection. But we never got talked to about anything else. And then eighth grade comes along and our sex education was a model of ah like a woman belly with a baby inside of it.
00:10:34
Speaker
And it was like, yeah, when you fall in love with somebody and you get married, then you have kids. But there was never like how it happened. And so I'm over here. Oh, if I kiss somebody, I fall in love. And we get married and we have a baby. Didn't know any logistics, had zero education. So I went to public high school. And at that point, everybody already had sex education in eighth grade in public school. So I came in blind. And there was one time when I was at a basketball game in high school and everyone was giggling at like the jersey number 69. Like somebody was wearing the number 69. And I'm like, why is everyone laughing? What is happening? And like somebody whispered in my ear what that meant. And I was like, ew, like why would anybody want to do that?
00:11:24
Speaker
And they're like, do you even know what sex is? And I'm like, yeah, you like kiss somebody. And they made hand motions and they were like, no, this is a woman, this is a man, and this is how it works. And I'm like, what? I still wasn't even understanding, but it definitely opened my eyes to like what I was missing. And I still wasn't interested in that at all.
00:11:45
Speaker
yeah So that was in a nutshell what my sexual education was. And then masturbation was always labeled as a mortal sin. You're going to go to hell if you ever think about touching yourself, letting somebody else touch you. So yeah, lots of shame and guilt and very negative energy around pleasure, which is wild to me.
00:12:09
Speaker
Wow, thank you for sharing all of that. What a journey that you've been on. And I think so many can relate in their own way to your upbringing around the lack of education and awareness and conversation around sex ed around our bodies and especially as women around pleasure and orgasm and what that means. And it's just wild how different the boys education is to ours. And it's funny that you I've just like making me recall like my sex ed growing up, which my parents
00:12:42
Speaker
said nothing. There was no birds and the bees talk for us. My mum said, don't have sex because you'll get pregnant and then your life will be over. So I had so much fear around having sex thinking that I'm going to get pregnant and my life's going to be over, which not a great narrative to have. But that was the only conversation we had my dad would know. Uh, have a conversation around it. And at school, I think around 10 or 11, we watched some video of men and women. And I remember this, seeing this woman giving birth, like big Harry Bush, she was giving birth. And I don't remember the pre, but I used to think that a man and a woman, and I don't know what age, maybe about 10 or 11.
00:13:22
Speaker
Maybe it was pre sex ed, but I thought a man and a woman slept in a bed and that I thought that his penis would just find its way inside a woman. And that was how she got pregnant. Like the actual concept of sex, obviously they don't want to talk about that because they don't want to talk about pleasure. So it was just fascinating. I'm like, Oh, baby Steph had no idea. There was no talk around orgasm or on self pleasure. So I actually can't even recall like how I.
00:13:49
Speaker
discovered orgasm and self pleasure because it really wasn't talked about and there was definitely a lot of shame. I think people can relate to that and most of the women who come into sex queen have some relationship with shame around their bodies or their expression or their sexuality or experiences that they've had where people have made comments. It's such a shame. It's a shame how much shame there is. So thank you for sharing that, especially when there is the complexity of religion involved. It is just a whole other layer of unraveling to do and this really deep rooted a shame that exists around sex in a number of religions. So thank you for sharing that. And I'm so proud of you for going on this journey and then be like, yes, sex queen vibes, I'm here.
00:14:34
Speaker
I would love to know how your relationship to shame around sexuality and around your expression and around your body and pleasure has shifted now that you've gone through sex queen. Oh. So shame, another word that's easy to just talk about and say, but really feeling it as a whole other different vibe. and When we did one of the practices it's called the yoni de armoring practice we did the live call and then we were invited to do it on our own, a couple times during the week it's more like a physical thing that you're doing to yourself.
00:15:12
Speaker
But the after, it's almost like breath work where you like do it, but then what really is potent is what happens after and during always, but it trickles for days after and what comes up. And it's amazing how the body just holds on to so much. And the Yoni de-armoring practice was really about almost like a massage, like in your pelvic floor, like really releasing the muscles. There was points of pain that I didn't realize.
00:15:42
Speaker
And all I kept thinking was this was like the shame that has been held in my body that I didn't even know was there. And really just acknowledging, okay, this feels like it's shame. This feels like it's fear. This feels like it's guilt. I'm ready to release it. And through this program, I have never experienced something like that where I've been able to, instead of being like, I shouldn't be in pain, like shitting all over myself. I'm like, wow, I feel so deeply for me right now and all the things I've been through.
00:16:12
Speaker
And I am ready to release all of this and understand more of why this is happening or maybe I don't need to understand and just let it go. and give myself like the word we that Steph used throughout the whole program was celebrating. And we always, again, we attach meaning to every single word.
Redefining Pleasure and Embracing Femininity
00:16:31
Speaker
So for me, a celebration's, it's my birthday, it's a holiday, we're gonna throw a big party. And it's like, literally, no, we need to be celebrating every single moment of every day or any little thing that comes up. Yay, I'm celebrating. And so that was really cool too. So just really celebrating that I showed up for the practice.
00:16:47
Speaker
that I was able to actually feel the pain in my body that i or feel what felt good because I feel like as with my upbringing and religion and just how I was raised, pain was just the go-to. like We have to change or things have to be really hard.
00:17:05
Speaker
And through that, there's pain in that. I'm also a Scorpio, so that's just our go-to. And it can also be pleasure because Scorpio is of pleasure. So I just hadn't known pleasure to be such a wide term as well as shame, because when I thought of pleasure, it was like coming or getting off with a partner. It was never like, I feel pleasure just like touching myself or I feel pleasure like just looking at myself or looking at something that's beautiful. So it really helped me redefine that as well.
00:17:35
Speaker
That's amazing. I'm so happy for you. I'm celebrating you. And what is it that brings you pleasure or what does pleasure feel like to you like now that you've redefined that? I'm looking for it more, which then it's easier to find it just like anything where intention goes, energy flows, that saying.
00:17:56
Speaker
So I feel like even when like I just received flowers the other day and I was just like, this is awesome. Yeah, I like just received flowers and I'm like looking at them every day. I'm like, they're so fucking beautiful. Just because of the energy that went behind it, but also just because they're so pretty to look at. And when I take Skippy for walks in the neighborhood,
00:18:17
Speaker
I just feel like I'm able to be like, this feels so pleasurable to have the sun on my skin and to smell the grass and to really tap more into my five senses, which to me is the definition of embodiment, like being more present in your body and being able to use your five senses.
00:18:34
Speaker
and allowing yourself to feel more pleasure because that also i feel like was a block for me was i felt like with all that shame i didn't deserve to feel pleasure and that has shifted so much where it's and i don't really love the term deserve but i do I love to receive it more, and I'm open to receiving it more, which feels so good because there's just been so many cool opportunities, so many things that have been flowing into my life that i like we were our little human brains, our ego brains are like, I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do this, and then something happens to you, and you're like, I could have never even like thought of this even coming in my life. I wasn't going to be open to literally anything. So that's how I felt with pleasure. Like the more you can broaden your term of what it means, the more you can be in like that feminine energy, whether you're male or female or however you identify, and you can receive so much more, which then in turn can show you more pleasure. This warms my heart so much. And I think you explained that in such a beautiful way because two things. One, that's really what life is about. Pleasure is the domain of the feminine energy and every human being
00:19:45
Speaker
gets to experience pleasure. Life is not supposed to be this really hard, painful experience. there There is supposed to, in my opinion, be pleasure. And we can find pleasure even through some of the most challenging and painful experiences of our life. It's not one or the other. We get to experience the duality of all of it in the same experiences. And you sharing that pleasure is like going for a walk with your beautiful, cute little child.
00:20:10
Speaker
a dog, but we'll say child. We have children in this group and feeling the sun on your skin and finding pleasure from that, I think is so incredible because it's just showing that you're already doing these things and you get to make that choice and reprogram your mind and your body to find pleasure and that joy from the things you're already doing that can oftentimes be things that we're just doing because we have to do them. We have to take the dog for a walk.
00:20:38
Speaker
but We have to make food. We have to go from A to B. And what if we just slow down, have that connection with our body, tune into our five senses and turn up the dial on those senses so that everything that we're doing has the potential to become a pleasure experience. And I really, nothing makes my heart feel warm and fuzzy inside than hearing this because This is really what it's about. This is a program called sex queen. Yes, we are talking about pleasure. We're getting very intimate with parts of our body, with our breasts, with our pussy, with our cervix. We're going very deep. We're using wands and toys and talking about the clit and we're doing all of these things. And also it's not just about having better sex.
00:21:19
Speaker
It's so much deeper than that. It's about coming home to who we are in our bodies. It's about finding acceptance for those parts of ourself that we have shunned or shamed because of whatever we've experienced from the past. And it's about really remembering that our bodies are so incredible and we get to be the master of them. And we get to own our sexuality and our pleasure. And that ripples out into every other area of life. There's many resources out there for great sex tips and how to do this or that.
00:21:47
Speaker
And that's not really the focus of what we're doing here. It's really that safety and that reclaiming of the parts of us that we've maybe been told are... not worthy or we're not gonna be accepted if we own that part of ourself. Or it's not safe to be in our sexiness or to be in our body. And that's really what my mission is, helping women come back into the safety in their bodies that they see. It's not this or that, it's all of it. You can be a badass, powerful woman and you can be a sex queen. You can be a shy, quiet, reserved woman and you can be a sex queen. And everyone's definition of a sex queen is gonna be individual. as no
00:22:24
Speaker
I have my definition of sex queen and what I like to share with women and also everyone's expression of that is wildly different. So thank you for touching on that.
Impact on Personal and Professional Life
00:22:33
Speaker
I love it. I also would love to know how has this work and these practices impacted those other areas of life. So like you're saying, you're going for a walk, you're experiencing more pleasure. How have you noticed these shifts from being more connected to your body and experiencing pleasure? How has that affected some of the other areas of life?
00:22:53
Speaker
So towards the end of the program, there was like a huge light bulb moment for me. Something so simple and could be silly, but it was very profound for me. So I'm in this interesting phase of life where I am ready for a different career. I'm ready to move. I'm ready to call in like a beautiful partnership and just really start to do my own thing in terms of making money and helping people Understand themselves through astrology breath work stuff like that this I'm not worthy stuff kept coming up. She's doing it I can't do it kind of those stories and so
00:23:32
Speaker
That has shifted so much. I've actually had people, I post a little bit on social media about it, but I also work like a crazy job with on-call and stupid hours. So it's really hard to make time for that side of my business. And I've just had so many people just come up to me or just synchronistically, yeah, I do astrology readings. Oh my gosh, I've been looking for an astrologer. I want you to read my chart. So many opportunities like that have been flowing so easily to me where I'm not even really having to promote anything.
00:24:01
Speaker
which is awesome and money like money is energy and money is connected so deeply to our worthiness and so just by having that small shift of I am worthy and really feeling that not just mantras and and those help too but really just feeling that and being like I am so worthy of this life that I deeply want to feel and I desire And so that shift has brought in all these amazing things like money flowing, people coming into my life that are like, I want you to teach me or I want to dance with you or I want to learn from you because I also teach dance. And one of like the more more specific things that was like a light bulb moment was I was like, I'm just ready to overhaul my wardrobe and dress differently because I want to feel more feminine. I want to feel
00:24:53
Speaker
more sexy. And again, that's a definition that everyone can define. For me, it's I love I used to love wearing skirts because when you twirl, they fly and it's just so fun. And I love feeling free and feminine. And I'm like a leggings and a crop top kind of girl. And so it's 90 degrees. And I'm like, at shorts don't make me feel like sexy anymore. I don't know. They just don't. And so one day I was like I went to a store and I was looking at these like golf golf skirts is what they're labeled as are tennis skirts.
00:25:23
Speaker
And I was like, I'm like instantly I caught myself with this story of I don't golf. I don't play tennis. I'm not one of those girls. Like I can't wear this skirt. And I was able to stop myself in the store and be like, who gives a shit? Just try them on. yeah And I tried them on and I bought them all and I wear them all the time and I fucking love it. And I get so many compliments, not that's what I'm looking for, but I wanted to feel more and really not be like sweating in my leggings all the time. but feel more feminine, more free and just that little tiny simple shift of what other fucking stories am I making up in my head about everything else in my life? That was like truly a pivotal moment for me because even now I feel like I'm dressing different. I'm wearing more adornments if I feel like it, doing my hair a little different and just like shifting. Like I can change body image or my perception of things at any point in my life. And that is beautiful and totally okay. And maybe it'll inspire other people to do that as well.
00:26:17
Speaker
Beautiful question for people to ask themselves, what stories are you as listeners making up in your head? Start to question that and start to call yourself out on those stories because they can come become so deeply ingrained that we don't even realize that.
00:26:32
Speaker
It's a story that can be changed that maybe you don't even align with. So thank you for sharing that and that outfit. So good because you look radiant in it. And I think this is so such a great reminder for people that it's not about what you wear and it's not about looking for external validation.
00:26:52
Speaker
However, when you feel tapped into yourself and your authentic essence and nature and you feel that confidence and then you're wearing clothes that amplify that because it feels like a true expression of who you are, that shows in your energy and that's how you can People can feel your radiance and your magnetism. And that's where that confirmation can come in if someone's saying, wow, you look so good. And sure, it's the outfit's super cute. And also it's your energy and your essence in that outfit. And I think that's why playing with outfit and makeup and hair and jewelry can be such a fun expression of who we are when we have that safety.
00:27:31
Speaker
in being seen and that safety in being our authentic selves. Like I'm going to wear this and I don't care what other people think of this because it feels good to me and it makes me feel nice. And that truly is such empowering and magnetic energy to be in. And as you're seeing, you are such a powerful human being.
00:27:49
Speaker
What was funny with Ashley in the group is she would say something like, I have this desire or I want to create this or I'm open
Practices and Personal Power
00:27:56
Speaker
to this. And then the next day she'd be back in the group. Oh, I just met this person. Oh, someone at the farmer's market is like booking in for an astrology reading or, Oh, I met this, I met this person and they want to ask me out. It was just so incredible. We're like, do you realize how powerful you are?
00:28:12
Speaker
Like, is everyone else seeing? Are you getting this? And it's such a- I didn't. So that really helped because I am such an air, like I have so much air in my charts. That's weird, isn't it? So all of these ladies were like, hello, you're so fucking powerful. I'm like, I am? Like you had to take a step back and be like, I am? Like, and that can also be scary because it's totally new to me. Yeah. not more women are afraid of their own power than they're afraid of failure. And I think that's such a great example. Like you're sharing and being yourself and for the others in the group, it's so obvious how incredible and powerful you are as a human being. And sometimes it just takes out a little bit of reflection in that mirror for someone to be like, and for you to see, wow, thank you for this reflection. And I, I'm so happy that you are noticing that I'm really seeing yourself in that it's really incredible.
00:29:08
Speaker
powerhouse of a woman, big things unfolding for you. They already are. And it's really exciting. I'd love to know what was your favorite practice or favorite moment or week, whichever kind of comes up that feels most alive for you. They all were so beautiful and profound, truly, and they all served a different purpose in many ways. i Since I am just so obsessed with breath work, like I loved the breath work that was in there because there was some weeks that I showed up and I'm like,
00:29:43
Speaker
Maybe I'm not, again, I have this story, like maybe I'm not ready to pleasure myself or maybe I'm not ready to do that. And no matter what the story was, I always felt safe to do whatever the fuck I wanted anyway. And like, we're not on camera. Like we're, you so beautifully create a safe space and invite us to do whatever feels good. And that made me want to go deeper with a lot of the practices. Breathworks specifically I loved because A lot of it was self-love and pleasure. And with breath work, I was in a really dark place in my life. I've been through many dark places in my life, but a few years ago, and I did a lot of breath work and it brought up, it was primarily around trauma and releasing things and screaming and stuff like that. But, so my story around breath work was it only, I have to do it when it feels hard and that's what's going to help me release energy and stuff like that.
00:30:37
Speaker
So the breathwork practices that we had even like little 10 minute ones in the morning, we had so many resources. I truly, that was the best part when I would wake up in the morning. I'd be like, I want to listen to this 10 minute meditation or this five minute breath work I'm going to do. It just.
00:30:53
Speaker
was so beautiful. And so the breath work was awesome. But one specific meditation so this isn't even we're not even talking about physical touch because I know that's the stigma that can be there. There was so many layers with this like you said we go so much deeper than just what a lot of people think pleasure is or what sex is. And there was one beautiful practice that was just like, this felt so nice. And I can't remember what you called it and what week it was, but we were just like laying in our bed or our comfy space and we envisioned somebody laying next, envisioning what it felt like to be in that energy of a partner and getting to create that energy in and our mind. And it felt so nourishing and so beautiful. And wow, I didn't even know that I wanted that in a partner laying next to me.
00:31:40
Speaker
So that was one of the most potent practices, a literal meditation. just And it really helped me feel what it felt like in my body to feel supported and seen even with nobody next to me, but creating that manifestation and that energy. When our nervous system is so relaxed, we are So able to manifest in the most beautiful ways and this program was made for that to help you get in that parasympathetic nervous system so you can manifest and really truly feel what it feels like to be a sex queen and receive that energy that you want to receive and that that to me was one of my absolute that has stuck in my brain and I just love I love that you loved it so much is honestly one of my favorite practices and I personally I
00:32:25
Speaker
Love that practice so much whenever I do it myself or I listen to recording from the call to experience it. I have such an incredible, truly profound experience. It makes me feel emotional and it makes me feel like so happy to feel those things in my body. and Whenever I've guided that people who are in relationship, people who are single, like it doesn't matter. It's still so insightful and so incredible. So I thank you for sharing that. I i love that was a standout one for you. Was there a moment or ah a practice or an experience that felt more challenging or a little more sticky? Right. When we started, we dove into the Yoni egg. And I've always had one, but I've never connected with it or been shown how to use it. There was a program that I was given that the website went down. So like, I didn't have the resources that were supposed to come with it. And so I was like overly excited about it. I was like, Oh, yay. And I would love to go back and revisit those now that I've been through the program. That was definitely a sticky one for me because I had this expectation that I would put a Yoni a again, and I'd be like this,
00:33:32
Speaker
Oh, like queen with radiating energy. and I had all these stories around this fucking Yoni egg and I have a beautiful roast, rose quartz Yoni egg, but it kept falling out and it felt awkward. And I just was so frustrated. And I shared that in our call, but it just, again, that was ego. It just is so cool to see like from week one to week 10 of ego.
00:33:55
Speaker
was still present, which of course it was. I didn't even know I had all these stories to now. So I felt resistance to that. And really we do the live call. And then there's an invitation to do little pieces of the life call throughout the week. And I did not even attempt those because I was just so frustrated. And that was just on me because I didn't ask for support or help or anything. And when I did, you were like, it's okay. You were very supportive. I was like, I kept falling out. And you're like, that's totally normal. It's okay. And so I would love to go back and revisit that because I know that can be a beautiful practice just from what everyone has shared and how people have used it before.
00:34:33
Speaker
Thank you for sharing that. It's such a great reminder that everyone's on their own journey. And for some, there are going to be parts that don't feel so flowy and so easeful when other people are like, Oh my God, this was amazing. And it was so individual. And I just, there's one, there's no pressure and everything on your own timeline. And this is why I love to make sure that everyone keeps those practices. So there's a whole private podcast link that is available for my sex queens. And they get all of the practices for in between to listen to nice and easily on that podcast audio.
00:35:02
Speaker
And that's lifelong access. So it's super important to me that these women have support after the programme and so you can keep going back to these practices because it's not just a once and done thing. This is a lifestyle, this is a way of being and we get to continue to tap into these practices and they change over time the way our body experiences them and we experience some changes and it's really amazing to be able to share that with women. So I'm excited for you to keep dropping into that one.
00:35:27
Speaker
I would love to ask you if there is a woman listening and she feels curious and she is, okay, this sounds interesting.
Encouragement and Closing Remarks
00:35:36
Speaker
I'm liking Ashley's shares and experience and I'm curious about sex queen and she's on the fence or maybe a bit scared. What would you say to her? Do it for yourself. It's not for anybody else. There was some women in a partnership in this group.
00:35:53
Speaker
and just really show up for yourself. i I'm a bigger woman. That has always been my story. That has always been who I identify as. And when I think of my stories before with sex and retreats and sisterhood and all that.
00:36:09
Speaker
I didn't fit into that. And so doing this was for me, not because I didn't fit into it or whatever. Doing it was for me so I can understand and learn myself more and understand my body more. I never got the education. And even if I did get proper education, it still wouldn't have been anything like this. Really understanding week one.
00:36:32
Speaker
Steph goes into an anatomy lesson and I'm like, what? And I have learned the anatomy, but I've never actually taken a mirror and looked down there and been like curious. You don't have to do that either. Again, everything is totally optional. No one's forcing anything. But the fact that you invest in it with money to me is important. That's saying, yes, I'm going to show up and then actually showing up.
00:36:55
Speaker
is how the things change. And so I would say, if I were to say anyone on the fence, if you are desiring to feel just more in your body. to give yourself more love and to feel more pleasure in your life, do it for yourself and do it and show up every week and do the practices. I love that beautiful message and maybe grab a little mirror and have a little look down there the creases and crevices and see what's happening in there. There's also an invitation that I share to the women of getting a speculum and
00:37:28
Speaker
whacking it white, not whacking it, but gently opening it so you can inspect your cervix. Because do you know what your cervix looks like? Probably not. It can feel like this scary part of our body that's associated with pain and that's associated. Maybe you've had an IUD and you've had a really dramatically traumatic experience of the insertion or having it removed. There's just not, not often positive connections that we have with these parts of our body. And we get to rewrite and redefine that. So.
00:37:57
Speaker
Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being here to close this out. I'd love to ask some rapid five questions of what is bringing you pleasure in your days right now? Oh, what is bringing me pleasure? I'm in Colorado. So the sun is out all the time. But just being in the sun having the longer days getting able to see the sunrise and the sunset and just really being present with my fur baby just because They're such little healers. And I just know that our time is so limited in the grand scheme of things. So just really spending as much time with her as I can and taking myself out on dates. I've been enjoying that. Just, I want to try a new place. I don't drink.
00:38:40
Speaker
So making it more realistic to what I like to do, like maybe I want to go to a bar that serves mocktails. And so I go to that, or maybe I want to take myself out somewhere that I haven't been to, or maybe I want to hang out with a friend that I haven't hung out with in a while. So really enjoying the season of my life of being single and enjoying the time that I get while I'm single, because as much as I deeply desire a partnership, I also know this time is truly sacred and just, especially with just me and my dog. So yeah, that's been bringing me pleasure. I love that. What a beautiful way to be approaching this phase of your life. This time is limited and you get to take yourself out and have an amazing time and fill up your own cup and be your own best lover. So thank you for sharing that. My final question for you is if there's one thing that every woman on the planet could know or experience, what would your wish be for that? That pleasure does not have to be defined by society and to explore what pleasure means to you in a non-sexual way. Boom. And that is the invitation that we have for you listeners. What is pleasure to you and how can you bring a little bit more pleasure into your day?
00:39:57
Speaker
over the next few days and weeks. And if you want to join us in the next round of Sex Queen, reach out to me. You can reach out to Ashley. I'm sure she's always open for conversations. If you have any questions, I'd love to be able to guide you on this journey. Thank you so much for being here, Ashley, and for sharing so openly. I love you and I'm so grateful for you. Big hugs, kisses to you and Skippy. Have a beautiful rest of your day. You too. Thank you. Bye.