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Finding the Off-Ramp From Runaway Thoughts (DBT Micro-Season — Mindfulness Part 1)
111 Plays20 days ago
in this very special episode of Friendless, we're kicking off the DBT micro-season with Mindfulness Part 1, and no — this is not the sit-cross-legged-and-think-about-nothing version. This is practical mindfulness. The kind that gives you an off-ramp when your brain is catastrophising about a blank document or a text that went unanswered.
Today we're covering the three "What" skills: Observe, Describe, and Participate. These are the foundation everything else builds on. They're deceptively simple, which doesn't mean they're easy — but they're the tools that let you notice when you're time-traveling into worst-case scenarios and choose to come back to the present.
What You'll Learn
Observe — How to notice what's happening without trying to change it, fix it, or make it go away. Just acknowledging "my heart is racing" or "I'm having anxious thoughts" without layering judgment on top.
Describe — How to put words to what you're observing. The difference between "I'm failing" and "I'm having the thought that I'm failing." Words create distance. Distance gives you options.
Participate — How to give your full attention to what you're doing right now instead of being on autopilot. Not every second of every day — just having the ability to come back when you notice you've drifted.
In This Episode
- Why mindfulness gets a bad rap (and why DBT mindfulness is different)
- The spiral I had preparing to write this very script — and how my brain turned a blank document into proof I should quit everything
- How observing my anxiety about an unanswered text gave me just enough space to not make it worse
- That time I drove to Main Street without music or podcasts and actually noticed the road (it felt longer than driving across Canada)
- A short guided practice for trying Observe, Describe, Participate in under two minutes
- Why the thoughts don't disappear — and why that's okay
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Transcript
The Anxiety Spiral: Email Example
00:00:00
Speaker
The other day I caught myself spiraling so hard about replying to an email that instead of just answering, I invented three imaginary cataclysms, two future failures, and a full-scale identity swap scenario I absolutely do not have the resources or money to carry out.
00:00:18
Speaker
So yeah, today we're doing mindfulness.
Introduction to Mindfulness and Misconceptions
00:00:30
Speaker
Welcome back to Friendless Sweet Peas. I'm your host, James Avramenko, and this is episode one of the DBT Micro Season. We're diving into mindfulness part one, and I'm sure the second you hear the word mindfulness, half of you are probably going to just roll your eyes and I get it.
00:00:47
Speaker
I really, really do. Because mindfulness has been sold to us as this very specific aesthetic. Right. It's, you know, the person sitting cross legged in white linen on a pristine floor with a handle and some sort of like ambient flute music in the background. And and they're just thinking about nothing.
00:01:10
Speaker
just existing in this state of perfect zen calm. And that is not at all what we're doing here.
Understanding Mindfulness: Beyond Zen and Fixing
00:01:19
Speaker
That is not what DBT mindfulness is about add all.
00:01:23
Speaker
DBT mindfulness is much more practical. It's not about achieving some enlightened state. It's not even about emptying your mind. It's about learning how to notice what's happening without getting completely yanked around by it.
00:01:38
Speaker
So today we're specifically going to be talking about the what skills. These are observe, describe, and participate. These are three foundational skills. Basically everything else in DBT builds from here. So If this feels really basic, good.
00:01:57
Speaker
It should. We're starting at the foundation.
00:02:01
Speaker
And now I want to be really clear about something before we go any further.
Mental Time Travel and Mindfulness
00:02:06
Speaker
You know, I just bagged on mindfulness, but at the same time, too, yeah I do find it does get a bad rap because it's been packaged and sold as this thing that's supposed to fix you.
00:02:15
Speaker
Like if you just meditate enough, you'll stop being anxious. If you just live in the present moment, you'll stop being depressed. And that is bullshit. That's not how any of this works. What we're trying to do is much simpler.
00:02:29
Speaker
We're learning how to notice when your brain is doing a thing. And you know the thing. I call it mental time traveling. You know, it's the spiraling, the catastrophizing, the replaying of old arguments, the rehashing of future conflicts that might never happen.
00:02:45
Speaker
What we're doing is we're learning how to notice when that's happening and then have an option. It's sort of an off-ramp, a way to interrupt it before it completely takes over your whole day. That's it. That's the goal.
00:02:55
Speaker
So let's get into it.
Personal Anxiety Spiral Example
00:02:58
Speaker
So let me paint you a picture of what I'm talking about when I say mental time travel or spiraling, because ah I think a lot of us experience this, but we don't necessarily have the language for it.
00:03:07
Speaker
Or we just think it's, you know, normal. Like, this is how thinking works. And it is normal, technically speaking, in the, you know, neurotypical really it just means, in my opinion, just sociopathic enough to be able to survive within the meat grinder of capitalism. But that's it Sidebar.
00:03:25
Speaker
Because, yes, it's normal, but it's also exhausting. And it's something that we can interrupt. So, picture it. Sicily, 1922. I'm sitting at my desk and I'm preparing to write the script for this episode of the podcast, which is something that I have done many times before. I have written scripts for previous episodes.
00:03:48
Speaker
Something I know how to do. Something that, objectively, should not really be that big of a deal. But the moment I sit down to start, my brain absolutely floods with fear and judgment.
00:04:00
Speaker
And now my whole nervous system is reading this blank document as danger. And within... like a minute or two.
00:04:12
Speaker
I'm no longer just thinking about writing a script. I'm doubting everything. I'm doubting my ability to create. I'm doubting whether what I do is even worth anything. I'm convinced that I should probably just give up.
00:04:23
Speaker
And then not just on the episode, but on the whole thing, on podcasting, on creating, on trying.
00:04:30
Speaker
And my body is completely in it. My chest is tight. My breathing is faster. My eyes are burning. My skin is prickling. I'm having a full psychological panic response to a blank document.
00:04:47
Speaker
And the thoughts keep escalating. My brain is telling me I'm a fraud, that I'm a failure, that I never accomplish anything, and it isn't worth the effort because I will always fail. I'm already writing the story of how I quit, how I let everyone down, how this was inevitable because I was never good enough in the first place.
00:05:06
Speaker
And here's the thing. None of that is actually happening. I haven't failed. I haven't quit. I'm just sitting at my desk looking at a blank document. That is the only fact.
00:05:19
Speaker
Everything else is a story my brain is instructing. It's this full catastrophic narrative built on top of nothing. This whole spiral, it can last, you know, maybe a couple minutes. But in those few minutes, I went from, I'm going to write a script to, I should quit everything because I'm fundamentally incapable.
00:05:38
Speaker
oh And that's what I mean by mental time travel. That's the problem that we're trying to solve. And I want to be really clear. Mindfulness is not going to stop these thoughts from happening.
00:05:52
Speaker
You're not going to meditate your way into never having another anxious thought. That's not the goal. The thoughts are going to keep coming. That's, you know, just what brains do. But what mindfulness does, what the skills we're talking about do, is they give you a way to notice what's happening.
00:06:11
Speaker
To catch yourself in the spiral before you've been in it for hours. You know, to have that moment where you can go, Oh, I'm doing the thing. I'm not actually in danger. I'm just having thoughts about danger.
00:06:23
Speaker
And that tiny moment of noticing, that's the off-ramp. That's where you get your options back. So that's what we're building towards.
Mindfulness 'What' Skills
00:06:31
Speaker
The ability to notice, the ability to describe what's happening, and the ability to come back to the present moment when you realize you've drifted.
00:06:40
Speaker
Those are the three what skills. Observe, describe, participate. So let's break them down. Okay, so the first what skill is observe.
00:06:50
Speaker
And this one is really deceptively simple. Observing just means noticing. That's it. You're not trying to change anything. You're not trying to fix anything.
00:07:02
Speaker
You're not trying to make anything go away. You're just acknowledging that something is happening. So in this email example I gave, observing would sound like I'm having a strong reaction to this email.
00:07:16
Speaker
That's it. Not, I shouldn't be having this reaction. Not, this reaction's stupid. Not, I need to calm down. Just, I'm having a strong reaction.
00:07:27
Speaker
Or even more specifically, my heart is racing. My chest is tight. My thoughts are moving really fast. Those are observations. You're just noticing what's happening in your body and your mind without laying any judgment or interpretation on top of it.
00:07:44
Speaker
And I know this sounds really basic, like, oh okay, James, obviously I can notice things. I'm not unconscious. But here's the thing. Most of the time, we're not actually observing.
00:07:55
Speaker
We're reacting. We're already in the story. We're already building the future catastrophe or replaying the past mistake. We're not in the present moment going, huh, interesting.
00:08:09
Speaker
My body's doing a thing. Let me give you another example. Say you're lying in bed trying to sleep and suddenly your brain is like, hey remember that embarrassing thing you said in 2014?
00:08:23
Speaker
And now you're not trying to sleep anymore. You're fully reliving the moment. You're thinking about what you should have said instead. You're imagining how different your life would be if you hadn't said that thing.
00:08:34
Speaker
You're convinced everybody still remembers it and judges you for it. That's not observing. That's getting swept away. Observing would be, I'm having the thought about the embarrassing thing from 2014.
00:08:50
Speaker
My brain is doing the thing where it brings up old memories. I'm feeling a tightness in my chest. You're not engaging with the content of the thought. You're not trying to logic your way out of it.
00:09:03
Speaker
You're just noticing that it's there. And here's why this matters. And this is the thing that really, really changed everything for me when I first learned this.
00:09:15
Speaker
The moment you can notice, oh, I'm spiraling, instead of just being in the spiral, you have options. You have this tiny bit of space.
00:09:28
Speaker
You're suddenly not completely fused with the thought anymore. You are now a person observing a thought. And I know that that sounds like a really small distinction, but it's actually huge.
00:09:41
Speaker
Because when you are fused with the thought, when you are the thought, you don't have any choice. The thought is now running the show.
00:09:51
Speaker
But when you can observe the thought, you're separate from it. And that means you can choose what to do next. You can choose to keep engaging with it, or you can choose to redirect your attention. But you have to notice it first.
Observing Anxious Reactions: Texting Scenario
00:10:06
Speaker
I'll tell you about a time when observing actually landed and helps for me um because, you know, I think examples make this a way more concrete practice than just sort of explaining theory.
00:10:19
Speaker
So recently i was texting with a friend, just a you know normal conversation, and were going back and forth. And then out of the blue, they stopped. They stopped replying. They stopped responding. Just completely mid-conversation, gone.
00:10:34
Speaker
And almost immediately my brain went to, oh fuck, you said something wrong. You fucked up. They're mad at you. And I could feel it starting. The anxiety, the panic, my breathing speeding up, the tightness in my gut, my thoughts starting to jumble together, all moving towards, you know, what did I say? What did I do? Should I apologize? Should I send another message? Are they going to ghost me now?
00:11:00
Speaker
But I caught myself. I remembered. Observe. Just observe what's happening. So I started noticing out loud. I literally said out loud to myself, okay, my breathing is fast.
00:11:14
Speaker
There's tightness in my gut. My thoughts are racing about what I might have said wrong. And that's it. I didn't try to fix it. I didn't try to calm myself down. i didn't try to logic my way out of it. I just named what was happening.
00:11:30
Speaker
And then something shifts. The intensity lowers. Now, not all the way. You know, the feelings are still there. But for me, I realized the feelings just wanted attention.
00:11:45
Speaker
They wanted to be noticed. And that didn't mean I had to engage with them. I didn't have to believe the story that they were telling. And of course, you know, the anxiety didn't disappear.
00:11:56
Speaker
I was still uncomfortable while I waited to hear back from my friend, but it became manageable because now I wasn't drowning in it anymore. I was observing it. And that gave me just enough space to not send a panicked follow-up message or spiral for the next three hours.
00:12:11
Speaker
I just waited. And it literally turned out that they'd just gotten busy. Nothing was wrong. And, you know, look, even if something was wrong, observing gave me the space to deal with it instead of making it worse.
00:12:26
Speaker
so So that's observing. Just noticing what's happening without trying to fix it or judge it or change it. And I want to be clear about what this doesn't mean, because I think that there's a version of mindfulness out there that says, just observe your thoughts and they'll disappear. Just notice your anxiety and it'll go away. And again, that's bullshit.
00:12:51
Speaker
That is not how this works. The thoughts don't disappear. The anxiety doesn't magically evaporate. You're still going to feel all the things.
00:13:03
Speaker
But now you're not being yanked around by them. You're noticing them. And that is enough to begin with.
00:13:13
Speaker
Okay, so that's observe. First what skill, just noticing what's happening. The second what skill is describe. And this one builds directly on observing.
00:13:27
Speaker
So describing is putting words to what you observe. It's the difference between feeling a thing and being able to name the thing. um And this, when I first learned this, it sounded basically like the same thing as observing, but there's a really, really subtle difference.
00:13:47
Speaker
Observing is noticing. Describing is adding language to it. And language, you know, the words that we use, they create a distance. So they help create clarity and they give you something to work with.
00:14:00
Speaker
So here's what I mean. When you observe, you might notice I'm feeling something uncomfortable in my chest. That's our observation. You're aware that something is happening. But when you describe, you get more specific.
00:14:15
Speaker
I'm feeling anxiety. It's a tightness in my chest. My thoughts are racing about the emails I have to send tomorrow.
00:14:23
Speaker
There's a really, really small difference. And what it means is that you're not just noticing anymore, you're naming it. And naming it separates you from it.
00:14:34
Speaker
Because here's the thing, when you can say, I'm having the thought that I'm failing, that's different from just, I'm failing. One of those is a thought you're observing.
00:14:45
Speaker
The other is a fact you believe about yourself. And that's the distinction we're going for. OK, how about, a um let me give you a more concrete example.
00:14:56
Speaker
You're in a meeting at work. Someone disagrees with your idea, and you feel this wave of emotion If you can't describe it, you might just feel bad. You might just feel like, you know, the meeting is going poorly and you're embarrassed and you want to leave.
00:15:13
Speaker
But if you describe it, you might notice I'm feeling defensive. I'm having the thought that this person thinks I'm stupid. There's heat on my face. I want to argue back or I want to shut down.
00:15:26
Speaker
Those are descriptions. And now that you've named it, you have options. You can notice that you're feeling defensive and then you can choose not to argue back in the moment.
00:15:37
Speaker
You can notice that you're having the thought, this person thinks I'm stupid and recognize that it's a thought, not a fact.
00:15:46
Speaker
So now you're not being controlled by the emotion anymore. You're describing it, and that gives you just enough distance to choose what to do next. How will this? i To really ram it home, I'll give you a real-time example.
00:15:58
Speaker
Right now, as I'm recording this, I'm noticing that I'm feeling self-conscious. There is a tightness in my throat. My thoughts are starting to move towards, what if this is stupid? What if it sounds wrong? What if I wouldn't? What if this doesn't help anybody? you know What if people think I'm just regurgitating therapy language?
00:16:19
Speaker
I just described it. See, I named what's happening. And now that I've named it, I can make a choice. I can choose to keep recording, even though that self-conscious feeling is still there. i i don't i don't have to make the feeling go away in order to keep going, is basically what I'm driving at. I just have to notice it and name it and then, you know, kind of keep going anyway.
00:16:41
Speaker
And that's the power of describing. It's not elegant. It's not poetic. You're not writing a novel. You're just putting words to your experience. Even shitty words work, you know even imprecise words. But the point is not to get it perfect.
00:16:54
Speaker
The point is to separate yourself from the experience just enough that you're not completely fused with it. So some examples of describing might be, I'm noticing anger.
00:17:05
Speaker
There's fear here. I'm having the thought that everyone hates me. The story in my brain is telling me that I'm in danger. All of these are descriptions.
00:17:16
Speaker
And they're also all different from, I'm angry. I'm afraid. Everyone hates me. I'm in danger. Do you hear the difference? One is describing an experience you're having.
00:17:30
Speaker
The other are stating ideas that you think are facts about reality. And when you're in the middle of big emotions, your brain really wants to turn these thoughts into facts.
00:17:43
Speaker
But describing interrupts that. It reminds you, this is a thought I'm having. This is an emotion I'm feeling. It's not the whole truth. It's just what's happening right now. And that is huge.
00:17:58
Speaker
Okay, so that's describe. Putting words to what you're observing.
Participating with Full Attention
00:18:02
Speaker
Now, the third what skill is participate. And if I'm honest, this one's probably my favorite because it's the one that actually brings you back to the present moment.
00:18:12
Speaker
So participating means giving your full attention to what you're doing right now. And that's it. It's the opposite of being physically present but mentally somewhere else.
00:18:24
Speaker
And I think this is the skill that most people actually mean when they say be present or live in the moment, but they don't actually give you any tools on how to do that.
00:18:37
Speaker
You know, it's always just this vague instruction, you know, be here now, right? Great. But like, how? Yeah. you know So participating is the how. It means if you are washing dishes, you are washing dishes.
00:18:51
Speaker
You're feeling the water in your hands. You're noticing the temperature, the texture of the soap, the weight of the plate. You're actually there doing the thing that you're doing.
00:19:02
Speaker
You're not washing your dishes while mentally drafting an email. You're not washing dishes while replaying an argument from yesterday. You're not washing dishes while planning tomorrow's to-do list. You are just washing dishes.
00:19:17
Speaker
And for clarity, what this does not mean, because I think, you know,
00:19:26
Speaker
There's ah an interpretation of mindfulness that says you have to be present every second of every day. And if you're not, you're doing it wrong. Right. And that's I mean, it's not only exhausting, it's also impossible.
00:19:37
Speaker
Right. Obviously, your brain is going to wander. That's what brains do, especially neurodivergent ones. um It's in the name. Right. You know, mind wanders constantly. My mind just wandered while reading this script. Right.
00:19:50
Speaker
You know, I could be in the middle of a conversation with someone and suddenly I'm thinking about, you know, have I eaten today? what am I going to have for dinner? You know, and that's normal, right? Participating doesn't mean you're never going to drift.
00:20:03
Speaker
It means you have the ability to come back when you notice you've drifted. And, you know, sometimes you might have to come back 40 times in a row and that's fine. That's perfect.
00:20:13
Speaker
If every time you notice you come back, that means you're practicing the skill. You're not supposed to just nail it coming out the gate. Let me give you some examples of what participating might look like in real life.
00:20:28
Speaker
You're drinking coffee. Instead of scrolling on your phone or thinking about your day, you actually stop and you taste the coffee. You feel the warmth of the mug in your hands.
00:20:39
Speaker
You notice the smell. You are there with that cup of coffee. You are walking from your car to your front door. Instead of being on your phone or already planning what you're going to be doing once you get inside, you feel your feet on the ground.
00:20:55
Speaker
You notice the temperature in the air. You hear the sounds around you. You're just there walking. Maybe you're in a conversation with somebody. Instead of thinking about what you're going to say next or mentally checking out, you actually listen to what they're saying.
00:21:12
Speaker
You notice their tone. You're right there in the conversation. These are just some really simple examples of participating. And they're all really small moments.
00:21:25
Speaker
We're not talking about hours-long meditation sessions here. We're talking about 10 seconds of actually being where you are. And why that matters is because most of us spend most of our time on autopilot.
00:21:39
Speaker
We're physically doing one thing, but we're mentally somewhere else. We're in the past replaying something that already happened, or we're in the future catastrophizing about something that might happen. And that insane.
00:21:52
Speaker
exhausting. It's exhausting to never actually be where you are. Thank God they never invented time travel because it sounds like an absolute nightmare if that's what it feels like, you know?
00:22:03
Speaker
ah Participating gives you a break from this. It anchors you in the actual moment. And even if it's just for 10 seconds, that's 10 seconds where you're not spiraling.
00:22:15
Speaker
That's 10 seconds where your brain gets to rest because it's not making up stories. It doesn't have to, it's just, you're just there. So, okay, let me tell you about a moment this week where I actively participated because I think it's a really concrete example.
00:22:30
Speaker
I was driving to Main Street, which is something I do a lot. It's not far. It's a really familiar route. And normally... When I'm doing this drive, I'll have music playing or I'll have a podcast on, just something to fill the space, something to kind of drown the world out and keep all those worrying thoughts at bay.
00:22:51
Speaker
I'm never just driving. I'm driving while listening to something or or thinking about five other things. And I was reminded of trying this exact practice while I was in my DBT group therapy program.
00:23:05
Speaker
And so I tried it again and I decided I was going to just participate in driving. Nothing else. I turned everything off. No music, no podcast, just me and the car.
00:23:16
Speaker
And I started to notice things. You know, I started to notice sort of the the sounds of the road, the sensations of the steering wheel under my hand, the feelings of the pedal under my feet, the rumble of the wheels on the pavement.
00:23:28
Speaker
And that's it. I was just driving. And i did this for about 10 minutes. And the weird thing is in that 10 minutes, I felt like I had driven further than I think I ever had before.
00:23:45
Speaker
And the crazy thing that I've driven across Canada multiple times. ah But this this felt different because I was actually there. I wasn't somewhere else mentally.
00:23:57
Speaker
I wasn't on autopilot. I wasn't, you know, belting Celine somewhere in between the Great Lakes. I was just driving, noticing the road, feeling the car, being in the moment.
00:24:10
Speaker
And you know it wasn't some transcendent moment. I didn't have some spiritual awakening about driving, but it was just calm. It was just nice. It was a break from being in my head.
00:24:20
Speaker
It was 10 minutes where i wasn't worrying or planning or catastrophizing. I was just there. And that's what participating is about. It's just tiny moments of actually being where you are.
Practical Exercise in Mindfulness Skills
00:24:33
Speaker
And you can do this anywhere. You don't need special circumstances. You just need to notice when you're drifting and choose to come back. And again, you're going to drift. Your brain is going to wander.
00:24:44
Speaker
You're going to catch yourself mentally somewhere else. That is not failure. That's just what brains do. The skill is in noticing and coming back over and over forever.
00:24:57
Speaker
but But that's the practice, right? These things aren't done. You do them as long as you want or until you die.
00:25:07
Speaker
Okay, so those are the three fundamental what skills. Observe, describe, participate. And here's how they work together. Because they're not separate things. They're built one on top of the other.
00:25:21
Speaker
So you start by observing. You notice what's happening. I'm having a strong reaction to this email. My heart is racing. Then you describe it. You put it into words. I'm feeling anxious. I'm having the thought that I messed up.
00:25:33
Speaker
Now you participate. You bring your attention back to that present moment. Maybe you feel your feet on the floor. Maybe you take one breath and actually feel it in through the nose, out through the mouth.
00:25:46
Speaker
Maybe you notice the temperature of the room. Observe, describe, participate. That's the cycle. that is how you interrupt the spiral. It's how you get onto the off-ramp.
00:25:59
Speaker
You're not making the thoughts go away. You're not making the feelings disappear. You're just noticing them, naming them, and then choosing to come back to the present moment. Sometimes you'll do this once, you'll be fine.
00:26:12
Speaker
Sometimes you're going to have to do it a hundred times in a row because, you know, your brain just keeps on pulling you back into the spiral. And that's okay. That's actually perfect because every time you do it, you're practicing.
00:26:25
Speaker
You're building that that sort of internal rhythmic muscle. And over time, it does get easier. Not easy, but easier. All right.
00:26:37
Speaker
Now, we're going to do a really super quick practice. And I want to be clear, it's not meditation. this is not a big formal thing. It's just noticing. You can do this right now if you want, or you can skip ahead, or you can try it later.
00:26:51
Speaker
Again, there's no quiz. There's no right way to do this. It's just a little experiment. We're just a couple little goofs having a little experiment. so
00:27:03
Speaker
So, if you're willing to try this with me,
00:27:07
Speaker
Take a second and notice your body. Wherever you are right now, in your chair, the couch, in your car, wherever, don't change anything.
00:27:21
Speaker
Just notice. Notice the sensation of your body against whatever you're sitting or lying on. Is there pressure? Warmth? Cold?
00:27:33
Speaker
Notice your feet. Are they on the ground? In the air? What do they feel like?
00:27:41
Speaker
Notice your breathing. Don't have to change it. Just observe it. Is it fast? Slow? Shallow? Deep?
00:27:54
Speaker
Now describe what you're noticing. Don't have to say it out loud. Just mentally note it. Maybe it's tension in my shoulders. Maybe heaviness in my legs.
00:28:07
Speaker
My breath is shallow. Whatever it is, just describe it. No judgment, just facts. And now participate. Pick one thing around you.
00:28:20
Speaker
Maybe it's a sound. Maybe it's the feeling of your hands. Maybe it's something you can see. And just be with it for one breath. That's it.
00:28:32
Speaker
One breath. And that's it. That's the practice. How was that? Maybe it felt weird. Maybe it felt boring. i don't know. Maybe I rushed it. i don't know. Maybe it felt frustrating because your mind wandered up All of that is fine.
00:28:44
Speaker
All of that is normal. You literally just practiced three what skills in under, you know, what, 30 seconds, a minute? Observe, describe, participate.
00:28:55
Speaker
And look, if your brain is going, that's stupid, that didn't help, what's the point? That's fine too. You don't have to like it. You don't have to think it worked. You just tried and that's enough.
00:29:07
Speaker
So yeah look, I'm not going to tell you to journal about this. I'm not going to tell you to, you know, set an alarm and practice every day. That's not how I work. ah And that's not how this series is intended to work.
00:29:20
Speaker
You can do those things. and And if you want to go much deeper into it, you would be encouraged to to do those things in, you know, a group therapy scenario, yada, yada. But if you want to explore this little more just from the context of the podcast, here's a question you can sit with.
00:29:36
Speaker
What is one tiny moment tomorrow where you can practice, observe, describe, and participate? Not a big thing, not a meditation session, just a moment.
00:29:49
Speaker
Maybe it'll be you while you're brushing your teeth, maybe while you're waiting for your coffee to brew, or maybe while you're you know walking from your car to your front door. Whatever it is, just... 20 seconds.
00:30:01
Speaker
Take a 20 second moment where you're not on autopilot. And that's it. That's the entire practice.
00:30:10
Speaker
And you know you don't have to commit to doing it. You don't have to promise anything. Just you know if you can, notice if there's a moment tomorrow where you can try it. And if you don't try it, cool.
00:30:21
Speaker
Again, this isn't homework. This is just, hey, try it out.
00:30:28
Speaker
All right, so that's mindfulness part one.
Reflections and Next Episode Preview
00:30:32
Speaker
We covered the three what skills, observe, describe, participate. And I know this probably feels really basic, like i said at the start. You know, like I can i can hear someone say, okay, James, you told me to notice things and name them and then pay attention.
00:30:44
Speaker
Wow. ground Groundbreaking work, you know? And to that I say, yeah It's the basics. Basic doesn't mean easy.
00:30:56
Speaker
And it definitely doesn't mean useless. These skills are the foundation. They are the off-ramp from the spiral.
00:31:06
Speaker
And they're the way for you to get your brain back when it's running away from itself. Now, In the next episode, we're going to talk about the how skills, which in essence is how you do all this without judging yourself into a full shame spiral about not being good enough at mindfulness.
00:31:22
Speaker
Because hey that is a very easy trap to fall into. I have done it many, many times. You know, I've heard the refrain, I can't meditate right. What's wrong with me? enough times internally to to get it. So we'll talk about how not to do that and how to practice these skills without making it another thing to feel bad about. But that is next time.
00:31:42
Speaker
And obviously, I hope I'm going to catch here for the new episode. But hey, I'm not going to worry about that right now. And neither should you, because that is then and this is now.
00:31:53
Speaker
So for now, I'll just say i love you. I thank you for listening. I thank you for trying this with me. And if you didn't try it, i thank you for being here anyway.
00:32:05
Speaker
I love you and I wish you well. Fun and safety, sweet peas.
00:32:57
Speaker
you