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EPISODE 137: TOYS ARE TERRIFYING
801 Plays1 month ago
Yeah sure, toys are fun when you’re little… but damn, looking back? Some of those toys were terrifying!
HORROR IN THE MOVIES
PUPPET MASTER and SKINAMARINK should keep ya out of Toys R’ Us for a while.
WHATCHA BEEN WATCHIN’, BITCH?!
Listen in to hear what we’ve been watchin’... bitch!
–
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Transcript
Introduction and Holiday Gift Discussion
00:00:00
Speaker
Frage the 13th Horror Podcast is a proud, independent podcast. To learn more about the show, visit frage13.com. Hey, did you get any cool presents over the holidays? No, not really. You know, mostly the normal stuff, clothes, gift cards, you know, adult stuff. What about you? Yeah, mostly, except for this one that I got from my, you know, that that weird uncle. You know the one. Oh, no. What is it?
00:00:28
Speaker
Well, at at first I thought it was a play on that game that we had as kids, you know, bop it. Oh yeah, oh my gosh, I totally forgot about it. Bop it, twist it, pull it. Yeah, that's the one. But this one has some interesting commands. Like? Here, listen. Hit it, lick it, suck it. Well, that certainly is a variation.
Episode 137: 'Toys Are Terrifying' Introduction
00:00:51
Speaker
It's episode 137. Toys are terrifying. I am the writing. on the wall the whisper in the Doubters, the doomsders, the gloomsters, they are going to get it wrong.
Film Discussions: Puppet Master and Skinamarink
00:01:46
Speaker
you to know that the movement we started is only just beginning. Sometimes. that is what
00:01:56
Speaker
The evil Dr. Perano has saved four innocent brothers and two huge creatures. That's man. That's son. You're in my control. Yeah. Think again, priest. Four heroes fighting to stop Dr. Perano and his evil creations
Audience Engagement: Childhood Toys and Environment
00:02:17
Speaker
from taking over the world. They fight, they kick some serious men.
00:02:26
Speaker
Welcome back to another episode of Frygator 13th Horror Podcast. My name is Matty. And I'm Andrew. And this is your first time with us at Frygator 13th Horror Podcast. This is the podcast that talks all about horror. Horror in real life and in the movies from a queer perspective. And if you don't like that, I don't fucking care. So welcome to episode 137. Toys are terrifying. And listen, toys are pretty fucking terrifying when you think about it. Andrew and I think one of the When they think about some of the ones that I had as a kid. Yes, we'll talk about it. Yeah. And like, you know, what I had a lot of fucking guns when I was a kid. You know what? I think i was really into it. But look, we'll we'll talk about our favorite. I had knives. Right. Exactly. like this a Look at us now.
00:03:10
Speaker
So like look, we've got a great episode planned for you. We have two movies um that are both BAFTA winners. um they're They're part of the Criterion Collection. One of them won the Oscar for Best Soundtrack and one won the Oscar for Best Screenplay. So it's going to be really cool for you to watch to listen about Puppet Master from 1989 and Skinema Rank from 2023.
00:03:35
Speaker
Establishing shots the movie, but we'll get to it. Listen, we'll we'll save it for that portion of the podcast. um But listen, what let's start talking about toys. So um I'll tell you what my favorite toy was. I'll tell you a few of my favorite toys when I was a kid, Andrew. um So the first toy that that that I really remember, loving, loving, loving.
00:03:54
Speaker
was a Teddy Ruxpin. Did you have one of these? I think we had like the, i this up this comes directly from my childhood, but I think we had like the dollar store version of it. Okay. yes We had a version of a doll that you would put a toy in its back. Yeah. Okay. So, so if if folks out there don't know what Teddy Ruxpin is, Teddy Ruxpin was um a a sort of like a teddy bear kind of thing or a cassette in its back yeah toy in its back whatever um and you would put a cass and it was battery operated and you would put a cassette tape into like you lift it up like the but like the back flap and you put it in his back and and the um the cassette tape would play like a little story and every time that teddy was the one who was the one talking he would move his mouth and move his eyes and it was really cool and I was obsessed with my Teddy Ruxpin. I had all the tapes, I had all the outfits, I had everything. I even had the companion doll which was Grubby. Grubby was the caterpillar who was Teddy Ruxpin's best friend um and same thing with Grubby. He had there was a cord that you can you could connect him over to Teddy
00:05:01
Speaker
And then when it was grubbies turn to talk, he would move his mouth and move his eyes and talk. Um, I had the airship, which is like this, like big old plastic airship kind of thing. Um, I had everything for that. And it was, it was cool. It was really, really cool. I loved Teddy Ruxpin. So that was one of my, one of my favorite toys.
00:05:19
Speaker
um Another favorite toy for me, I said it earlier, but definitely like like toy guns and that kind of stuff, I was obsessed with that. and Were you a big Nerf kid or no? We didn't really have any Nerf stuff growing up. Okay. um but like So like the guns didn't like shoot anything. i feel like I feel like a Nerf came around at like at the end of when we were when that was appropriate for us. Yeah, i it was like more for little kids. Yeah.
00:05:44
Speaker
Um, but like ah me and all my friends were into guns. So and like I had a bit, I've said this before, but like I had a huge backyard. So it was like fun to play war back there. So we would do that all the time. And I remember when I had a, so I had surgery when I was in fourth grade. Um, I had this weird tumor on my hip. It was benign, but it was very strange thing. Um, and my mom like bought me toys of course to like, you know, make me happy.
00:06:07
Speaker
And of course, what toy did I want? I wanted a fucking like, like gatling gun. So like, it was just like, I can see it in my head right now. It was like desert storm looking. Cause like, of course, you know, that was the war then. And, um, it was like, you know, a gun that like you hold with two hands and you push the button in the middle and like a little suction cup bullets. No, it it didn't it didn't have any bullets.
00:06:30
Speaker
Oh, OK. But it made sound right. It made sound. And like it went in like the the um like the whatever you call the thing that it shoots out of, I don't know, whatever the barrel, the barrel like move back and forth like it was like an actual gatling gun and it had lights on it.
00:06:46
Speaker
So I mean, the thing was pretty fucking cool when you're a kid. You know what I mean? Like that was just fucking neat. And God, like other stuff. I had a bunch of like figures and this thing and all. I had a lot of shit um looking back on it now. ah What about you? or What were some of your favorite toys?
00:07:01
Speaker
I mean, I was I will say I was much more of a games kid when I was younger and we'll save that for a games episode. You know, put that in the book that will do that coming up. um But ah as far as like toys go, I think I was much more of like a builder kid. Like I liked ah Lincoln logs, um if anybody even knows what that is anymore. Oh, Lincoln logs.
00:07:23
Speaker
I liked Legos for a time there. um But i was like I was weird about Legos. like you know like Some kids have like that like just like barrel of Legos that they just like put together. No, no, no, no. I was the kid that would buy the kit and follow the kit meticulously and like put it together to be the thing that like Yeah, sure. Like I remember I had like an airport kit that you like, you built like two planes, like a little like thing that, you know, where they, they they monitor the planes, whatever you call that thing. Um, but like I was beginning to like kits like that. And then as far as like other toys, like I remember when I was really young, I was obsessed with glow worms. Do you remember glow worms? I had them too. I remember that. Yeah.
00:08:07
Speaker
Um, I think it was because I kind of had a little bit of a fear of the dark and like the was like a nice little like thing to just be precious about. Um, but, but other than that, like really like I, from a very young age was obsessed with like.
00:08:23
Speaker
I don't know like toys. They weren't toys. They weren't toys. I was obsessed with throwing knives, um ninja stars and like bow and arrow. Like I was a big bow and arrow kid and like look at it. Look at him today, folks. And be and because like my I grew up in like a family like that was willing to go out and bow hunt. I never did. I i was a I was not ah for the killing of anything. I just like sure. I just liked archery. I don't know why.
00:08:50
Speaker
i i had but when When I was a kid, I i had a BB gun. um so I never had a BB gun. And I was pretty obsessed with that. And I had one, my ex-brother-in-law, who actually passed away back in 2019, he gave me the BB gun that he had when he was a kid. And it was it was a pretty cool BB gun. And I really enjoyed having that. like Once again, because we had like a big backyard.
00:09:13
Speaker
I never shot any birds. I was not into that shit. I was about that. But it would have freaked me out too much to do it. But I would like set up cans and stuff like that. And that that was a lot of fun when I was a kid. I remember my but i brother was big into that. Like he liked to doing like the target practice with like the bottles and cans and stuff. Yeah, I was like, I don't I don't know what like I was just like really obsessed with bow and arrow. Like I I loved it. And I mean, ah the Hunger Games is not even a thing back then. So I don't know why. But like.
00:09:41
Speaker
ah Oh, maybe it was a treu. Maybe it was a never ending story. That that's that's probably that yeah could be it. yeah But yeah, um let's like i don't I can't think of anything that I was like really like obsessed with. But i but like you know when we talked about childhood before, like I was kind of a more lonelier kid. like So I didn't i didn't like run around with a bunch of kids. You know what I mean? so yeah I don't think the guns thing would have been a thing for me. you know Well, you know, toys, it it really is interesting to think about toys, you know, in our in our much later years now after after being a child. And like, you know, but neither of us have kids. So we're we're not buying toys for them on the regular every now and then we buy toys for ourselves. You know, like, for example, back in September, I was like, what do I i would i need to do something because my brain is going crazy. I'm going to buy a fucking
00:10:31
Speaker
Hocus Pocus Lego set and spend a month putting it together. Or you know I buy this little thing or that little thing. Or you like I bought a little game for myself called Q-List that I really like like quite a bit, which is kind of a toy. So it is interesting to think about how even when you're you know ah an adult, you still buy yourself those little things. But I was thinking about how, God, like when people buy their kids so many toys, what do you like what do you do with them after?
00:10:59
Speaker
You know, and trip over them yeah i I think so many people, you know, just end up throwing them away or like, you know, maybe they'll give them to a good will or, you know, something like that, or, or or like an Oxfam over here.
00:11:11
Speaker
But like you know i I just started thinking about, fuck, it's a lot of plastic. you know So i I started to look into this. And there's a good little little piece in the BBC. And and it is from 2019, to be fair, but whatever. it's It's not too bad. So I'll go ahead and and take you guys through this. And it's just called plastic toys as a time we cut back. And so um here we go. The UK's toy industry, but this is really anywhere The UK's toy industry is massive. Last year, consumers spent 370 million pounds on them. That's a lot of fucking money. But environmentalists say this is contributing to the amount of plastic ending up in landfill and oceans. A poll by the British Heart Foundation found that more than a quarter of parents admit to throwing away toys that are in perfect working order. It spoke to more than 2,000 people and found children have an average of four toys they've never even played with.
00:12:02
Speaker
That's crazy. It's insane. So you know here's here's a woman here. Her name is Lauren. She says that her three-year-old daughter, Mirella, gets given loads of toys from friends and family. Whether it's Easter, Christmas, or birthdays, it always seems to be an excuse to buy new toys. Try as we might to buy wooden toys or things that are a bit more durable or that are better for the environment. My little girl loves plastic toys. Like most kids, the brighter and the crazier, the better. We try to save big toys for special occasions, but it's hard.
00:12:30
Speaker
and it's easy to end up with lots and lots of toys. Lauren says she does try and take a bag of old toys to charity shops regularly, and has a one in, one out policy when it comes to toys in the house. I do like that. I think it's a really good idea. That's how my closet should be. It took down this completely. Oh my god. I finally did a purge in my closet late last year. It felt so good. But Lauren continues saying that I know charity shops can recycle what they can't sell. I would never just throw away toys even if I was questioning if they were in good nick.
00:13:02
Speaker
um So can they be environmentally friendly? And the article says that while we don't know exactly how much of the plastic that ends up in landfill comes directly from toys, green campaigners say that consumers can help reduce the amount in circulation. Friends of the Earth says that there are ways to cut back on buying plastic toys. Things like toy libraries, passing toys on, buying less, just obviously, duh, and borrowing off of friends and just sharing more. Green pieces UK told the BBC that it doesn't count plastic toys as single use plastics because they can be used time and time again. And they said that toys are far from single use plastics, as we know from research that they stay within a household for approximately 10 years and tend to then be passed on to charities, friends and families. so And this that was from Natasha Crooks from the British Toy and Hobby Association. The organization, of quite of course, she says that the organization claims that many toys will last between 15 to 20 years before they enter the waste stream.
00:14:01
Speaker
Making toys out of recycled plastic might not be the answer either. Recycled plastics are rarely able to be used in the process of manufacturing toys due to the uncertainty of the chemical composition of recycled plastics.
00:14:16
Speaker
it could wait what yeah yeah i know but And there's a lot of things being out of recycled plastic. But I would imagine here that it's about the safety, too. like be Because especially in the UK and Ireland and Europe, for that matter, there's different rules than you might find in the US about like what what kids can actually have. And of course, they're a lot more stringent. So I bet that's probably part of it, but who knows? And she said that it it could, and here you go, shes she says further, it could contain one of the thousands of chemicals restricted under toy safety legislation.
00:14:47
Speaker
And so, you know, another part of this article is about just like buying good quality toys. um And you know, like if you think back to your own childhood, you might even still have some of those high quality toys right now. Like I'm i'm looking on on my bookshelf where I have my talking Pee Wee Herman doll. You know what I mean?
00:15:02
Speaker
And like, I love that thing. And it is, I mean, it doesn't work anymore, but it's high quality. It's it's it lasted for my God, like, like 35 years. It's kind of incredible. um But avoiding plastic ah altogether and buying toys out of sustainable materials could be the answer. There are loads of new eco style brands that offer toys from sustainable wood and recycled materials. But of course, guess what? They can be expensive.
00:15:27
Speaker
So um you know that's that's another part of it too, is what can what can parents actually afford? It's kind of like food. you know it's It's always like how health food, or yeah i'm putting that in air quotes, health food or healthy food is like more expensive than um then like you know fast food. It's just it's just like ridiculous.
00:15:45
Speaker
So, you know, look, there there's a lot more in the article and you you can feel free to go look it up yourself. um But it's interesting to think about like, how are we thinking about the waste that we produce with toys? And like for parents out there who are listening, it'd be cool to hear from you guys. Like, you know, do you have a one in, one out policy? Do you give toys to your friends or to, you know, other relatives that have kids? Do you take them to the Goodwill or the Oxfam or whatever? um And if you're not, maybe it's something that you should think of, you know, because guess what?
00:16:14
Speaker
The world is ending and maybe maybe we could make it end a little slower. I i don't know. I don't know. Maybe. Yeah, that's very interesting. i I know that in my family, there was a lot of toy swapping, like between like cousins and stuff. Like there was a lot of like, hey, weak and you know why? Because I was the oldest. I'm the oldest of all of the cousins. So like any time that I was doing like a toy purge, it would always be passed down to other cousins. So so it'd be interesting to hear what they what they think about that, yeah getting the new toys. But
00:16:51
Speaker
but You know what? I um i was always the coolest one. I was always the coolest one anyway. So they got the coolest toys. So whatever. It's fine. Excellent. All right. Do you want to hear about some of the most dangerous toys? Only if they've really caused a lot of harm.
00:17:06
Speaker
Well, I can tell you one that I had in my life that caused a lot of harm, and that is the trampoline. Oh, God. Trampolines, they were so fun, but like, fuck. So deep. What were we thinking?
00:17:21
Speaker
So dangerous. Like, here's a thing that you can jump on. And guess what? On the side, there's nothing to protect you. Yeah. And I'm not talking about asians these new modern ones where they have like the sides, like where they have like the netting and stuff like, oh, yeah, this was like a bare bones, no things over the springs. like Just jumping on this thing where I definitely flew off and ah Knocked the breath out of me one time. I definitely pinched my skin on the springs a bunch or when I was a kid. Springs were fucking terrifying, honestly. you know We would flip and we're not like even being supervised. It's insane. and Not good at all.
00:18:04
Speaker
And ah you know when when we had the trampoline, this was my mom was ah married to my that my third stepfather and he had four children of his own. So there was you know six of us jumping on this trampoline, launching each other up into the air. Oh my God. It's just like a death trap. Insane.
00:18:22
Speaker
But some other dangerous toys. So this comes from the website safe home dot org. OK. They had a list of the nine most dangerous toys. And I'm going to kind of go in reverse. So they they did it weird. I kind of wanted to do it in the reverse because I think that it goes down to the ones that we remember. It's kind of like the newest ones down to the ones that we remember. Sure. ah So the first one is the Black Panther Wakanda Battle Claw.
00:18:52
Speaker
So essentially, this is just like a, it's like a little kid costume. Like you dress up like the, the, the Black Panther. okay But this comes with battle claws, which are essentially like hard plastic claws, the size of the children's heads. So guess what kids are going to guess what kids are going to do? They're going to run around like fucking Freddy Krueger and claw people.
00:19:18
Speaker
Oh my god, what a terrible idea is this? And this came out in 2022, so we're still not even like learning our lesson on these things. um The next one is the Easy Bake Oven, but not the one that we remember. okay So that this was a 2007 reboot, which I didn't even know was a thing.
00:19:40
Speaker
But essentially what they did was they replaced the 100 watt incandescent bulb that was in the old Easy Bake Oven. So know did you ever mess around with the Easy Bake Oven? You had sisters, so I'm just wondering. My um but my sisters would have been like too old for it by the time that I was like of age to help out with it. I don't think my sisters had one, but my niece, Alicia, she had one. And um i I remember doing it with her. And I remember like we we once like we like baked all this stuff and like bought, brought people down to buy it from us. It was, it was pretty funny looking back at it now. I didn't have one of these, but I did have like a, I had this like the set and I don't remember what it was called, but it was kind of like you were a mad scientist and you made like gummy candy. Oh, okay. Oh wait, I remember that kind of, I i think I might've had that looking back at it. They were called like jigglers or something. Something like that. Yeah. I remember that.
00:20:40
Speaker
um So with the Easy Bake Oven in 2007, they got rid of that little 100 watt incandescent bulb, which that's what used to cook the food. And that's why it took so long because it was just like a 100 watts, is like nothing. And so, but it was supposed to be for kids. And so let's just say that the new version where was not great and over 250 child bakers got their hands stuck inside of it. Oh my god. 77 others burned themselves. And in the end Hasbro recalled nearly 1 million easy bake up. Oh my lord. um The next one is the oh this one's interesting. This is the Gilbert Atomic Energy Lab. um So this was something that came out of the
00:21:29
Speaker
Atomic age, like basically, you know, like it actually sounds kind of cool. I'm not going to lie. um But basically what happened is if you look really hard at the fine print on the Gilbert Atomic Energy Lab, you'll see that it comes with a junior Geiger counter. Oh, he illustrated books with names like prospecting for uranium. What? And how Dagwood splits the atom and a sampling of radioactive ores.
00:21:55
Speaker
but Wait, are you are you serious? Yes. You were radioactive. Yeah. So clearly equipping a child's science toy with uranium-238, which the minds behind the atomic energy lab seem to have done, is a mind-bending benchmark in the annals of poor adult judgment. Oh my god. Jesus Christ. That's really insane. I don't know what else to say.
00:22:18
Speaker
ah for Any kids raised in the 50s who got the Gilbert Atomic Energy Lab for Christmas, please don't have the kids the gift down to your grandkids. The half-life of uranium is 4.5 billion years at the age of the solar system. Oh my lord. So it's still radioactive. So yes, the Gilbert Atomic Energy Lab came with radioactive ores for your children. That is that is really terrifying, my my god.
00:22:47
Speaker
All right, the next one is water water bees. um You can find these shiny spherical blobs everywhere. Walmart, Target, Amazon, you name it. Manufactured outside the continental US s by companies like Orbeez, Superbeads, or Big O's Magic Water Bead. That sounds like a sex toy. We'll talk about those later. They've variously marketed as vase fillers. Oh, I know what these are.
00:23:14
Speaker
Um, or sensory exploration toys. This is like, do you know those like little bluebie things that you could like little toddlers play with? Like a, yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah. So, um, who wants to debate the logic of doing your three year old a vase filler to explorers motor skills with?
00:23:32
Speaker
That's what the author says. ah Water beads expand when they absorb water, sometimes to 200 their original size. and Children love swallow. This is a swallow hazard. Okay, children love swallowing them and and sticking them in their ears. We know this because one poor child swallowed a bead and it grew it its intestine to the size of a racquetball.
00:23:54
Speaker
Another girl gobbled 100 beads and spent the night in the emergency room voiding, in quotes, all 100 of them now the size of marbles. Oh, my God. So this is one thing with with toys is you always have to have the swallow factor in mind is like, is this digestible? Is it small enough to put up a nose in an ear? I've watched many a YouTube about getting things out of like kids orifices and not in their butts. Jesus Christ. That's so awful. All right. The next one is clackers. Did you have these? It was those little balls and you, Oh, nevermind. Something else. No, this is like those. It had like two balls on it and you waved it up and down. It would just go click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. We had wood. We had wood ones that that does sound familiar to me.
00:24:46
Speaker
So these are dangerous um because basically, like they can be used as weapons. you know i mean they Now that you say it, that makes sense. because So um so this was very popularized by Conan, the bar barbarian comics. Oh, yeah, sure. um Because he had a ah ah similar kind of skull, crushing projectile. um And so kids were literally like hitting kids with these things. God almighty.
00:25:16
Speaker
I why are we violent from day one? I don't know. But um the next one is we go kite tubes. I don't do water things anymore. um I don't know about you. I don't. I just don't. i You know, like.
00:25:32
Speaker
I had like squirt guns when I was a kid. oh no I love a super soaker. Yeah. And I had, I had a super soaker, but like, I remember like when super soakers came out, um, I remember they were really hard to find, like very hard to find. And so like the only thing that my mom could find at whatever, I can't remember what our toy store was called in the mall. Can't recall it right now, but I remember like we bought one that was, that was like not a super soaker. It was not a kid. It was not a Toys R Us.
00:25:58
Speaker
And no but we we had a Toys R Us, but they were all out of them. And so there was one in the mall that we went to, what I can't remember what it was called for the life of me right now, but they had like they had like a knockoff one and I immediately felt ashamed of it as soon as I had that because it was it wasn't a super sucker. So I kind of hated using it. But yeah, like other than that though, I don't i never liked water things. That's never my bag.
00:26:20
Speaker
I'm trying to remember the one that we had. It started with a K. It was, oh, KB toys. That's it. KB toys. That's what we had in the mall. Thank you. I haven't thought of that in fucking years. Jesus. So the WeGo kite tubes, it was big in the mid 2000s, which makes sense because I was in college at this time. So I wasn't doing toy things anymore. Um, except for drinking. Yeah.
00:26:46
Speaker
um Is this not ringing a bell? Imagine a massive 10 foot wide yellow beach tube. And basically what happened is when you ah were pulled behind the boat, it would go up in the air up to 15 feet.
00:27:02
Speaker
whoa and i saw a picture of this you can look it up we go w e g o kite tubes and it would go up in the air like one of those uh what do you like one of those parasails that you see on vacation yeah but you're not strapped in so um just do the math there Oh, geez. The next one, ah Flubber, which I didn't know was a real thing. I thought it was just a Robin Williams a movie. Was that like a like a like it was that that was after us, I would imagine. 1960s. Oh, way back then, really?
00:27:40
Speaker
Yeah, story go the story goes that sometime in the late 1960s, under the cover of night, a cadre of Hasbro employees disappeared into a field behind the Hasbro factory and buried 50,000 flubber balls. ah They already tried burning them, dumping them, and sinking them in the ocean, but but the balls wouldn't go away. It was like the plot of some bad 50s horror movie. The balls wouldn't go away. I've heard that before. Except in this case, the monster was a silly putty lookalike called Flubber, a gooey benign looking substance that, unlike silly putty,
00:28:20
Speaker
gave thousands of kids nasty rashes and sore throats. Oh my god. So they recalled it, but they couldn't destroy it. It literally was indestructible. So they just buried it behind the factory. That's insane. it's just It's still there on the ground right now. Yeah. Much like the ET video games that they found. Did you, did you hear about this? No, I haven't.
00:28:44
Speaker
So ET, this is a little bit of a stray, but let me go, let me go for a second. So the ET video game for, um, the, oh gosh, what was the before the Nintendo, the Atari, Atari, the TV video game for the Atari was notoriously one of the worst games ever. Like oh no it it just didn't function. And so they didn't sell a lot of them. And so,
00:29:07
Speaker
they buried them like out in the desert to like get rid of them, but then someone like found them in the in the 2000s and like there's this whole documentary about it. It's kind of fascinating, but it's kind of about the whole documentary is about like the downfall of Atari and like what happened, but like they kind of circle it around this E.T. game and what happened. It's kind of fascinating, but I just think it's so funny that like back in the day, we literally just did bury our secrets. Like, you you know, it's like, it's like no wonder the earth like literally hates us and wants us gone because we're burying fucking video games and flubber or or putting it in the ocean. Like it's disgusting. So the next one I did have these as a kid, this is lawn darts.
00:29:55
Speaker
i I did not have them, but I do know about the controversy of how dangerous they fucking are. Yeah, we definitely had these. You basically, the kid came with, I think three lawn darts of two different colors and then hula hoops that you would put on the ground and you would kind of do like bags, but sure but with sharp objects. Terrible idea. You would launch them into the air and try to get them in the hula hoop.
00:30:23
Speaker
um And this was not a good idea. um this it Between the time that it happened, so between 1970 and 1988, a four-year-old child died in 1970, one of at least two deaths out of the 6,100 Dart emergency room injuries on record,
00:30:46
Speaker
Uh, finally they were yanked off the shelf in 1988. So I don't know if we had a version of this or if I was really young when we had this, or maybe it was handed down. I bet you was handed down or it was at a grandparent's house. That's what I, what I think. Um, I never got hurt by one of these, but when I think about what we were doing with those by launching them into the air at each other, it could have been pretty bad when you look back at it, you know? I'm glad I still have my eyeballs. But thank God. All right. And then the final one is from 2007. This is the CSI fingerprint analysis kit.
00:31:30
Speaker
what if we all What a fun game. like Well, we all remember what a grip CSI had on people for a moment there, where everyone all of a sudden was going to be a forensic you know investigator. I remember touring a college And they had like a forensics, they had like their forensics program was like the biggest like expanding program. Yeah, sure. At the time. But um it was every budding household sleuths dream to be able to prove the rigorous scientific analysis that the fingerprints on an empty Oreo package weren't there.
00:32:10
Speaker
That's funny. um In 2007, with the help of CSI fingerprint analysis kit, they finally had the tools. Just sprinkle the powder on your crime scene, blow, and voila, proof that it was your kid's sister who stole the cookies. That was the idea, except the manufacturer of the CSI, which was made by Planet Toys, had made the mistake of using a factory in China that cut their fingerprint powder with 7% tremolite.
00:32:38
Speaker
a nasty carcinogen and one of the most toxic forms of ah of asbestos known to mankind. So we were poisoning our children with asbestos through the CSI fingerprint kit. Wow. Wow. What a dumb toy. like That's just so stupid.
00:32:59
Speaker
um Did you ever have, I mean, I talked a little bit about my little jelly kit, but did you ever have like science toys or were you mostly like a fun kid toy? I had a microscope, I remember that. I had a telescope, which was really cool. I had a telescope and I could never make it work. I got the telescope and I got really into it and it probably influenced a bit more of my love of space and aliens and all that kind of thing.
00:33:25
Speaker
um But i got i got it when hillbop was around and so that i mean that was cool because that comment. Was amazing it was amazing for like an entire fucking month so i had or maybe even longer i had that telescope out there every night looking at it just staring at it.
00:33:43
Speaker
And, you know, for a telescope, it it wasn't bad. it It was it was a pretty good one. um I gave it to my friend, Emmy, for her kids. um So yeah, it's i I had some stuff like that. I remember I also had like a Terminator 2 toy um that was like um you put the Terminator skeleton into like the thing and it like puts skin on it. And I thought that was cool. You know, yeah. And then like he became like, you know, the the whatever Terminator.
00:34:09
Speaker
like that I can remember it in my head right now. It was that was actually kind of neat. and So yeah, but i i i I enjoyed that kind of stuff. yeah i was a bit I was a bit nerdy. I didn't know that I was, but so yeah, when that stuff came around, i I didn't mind it. I liked it. Yeah, I'm trying to remember if I had any of these beside my little lab kit that made gummy candy. Yeah, sure. Totally proves my little my little plump little body.
00:34:34
Speaker
I'm trying to remember. I definitely had a telescope, but I did not know how to use it, and nobody nobody in my house did, and so it just never worked. ah and We were we big into walkie-talkie type stuff, just because we lived in the woods, so we would go out and do that kind of stuff. And I remember we had these walkie-talkies that you could leave messages on.
00:34:57
Speaker
um kind of like a kind of like ah like ah a voicemail at the time, but you know back in the day that was not even a thing. um But yeah, we ah we ran around outside a lot and so whatever we could get our hands on essentially was a toy in our eyes. yes right I remember running around the woods. We lived in the woods where we had a lot of pine trees. They were kind of like um overgrown manufactured pine trees. So it was like the lines of them. like And I would just go out there and throw knives at them. I would throw knives at trees. What's wrong with me? i You know what? I did the same thing though. like We had hatchets and stuff and I would do that.
00:35:36
Speaker
And like you know I grew up with ah a house that had a lot of stuff in it. And the house that we bought was was from an old guy named Merle. And he left a bunch of shit there. So like I was constantly finding old stuff that I didn't know even what it was. And like it was it was neat to just pretend with it and like figure out what it was or or pretend it was something else.
00:35:56
Speaker
you know Yeah, we had we actually had an old week. So we lived with when I lived in Missick, Michigan. So we're talking like a sixth grade on um we lived in a trailer. But the trailer that we had, there was also a pole barn and an old trailer that nobody lived in. It was just like full of junk. And like that was like our playhouse. Like there was like tons of stuff in there that we would just go find. I don't know. It's so cool when you look back at it. Yeah.
00:36:26
Speaker
All right, well, I think that does it for horror in real life. Do you have anything else that you want to talk about with toys? We don't. So let's break here and go on to what you've been watching, bitch.
00:36:51
Speaker
right, now's the time. Now's the place. It's time for what you've been watching, bitch. What you've been watching, youve you toy plane bitch. And that's why I usually do that part. Yeah, i'm I'm not good at that.
00:37:05
Speaker
But this is the part of the episode where we talk about what we've been watching. Maddie, tell us what you've been watching, you bitch. So ah everyone knows that David Lynch recently died, which was very sad, especially for people like us who enjoy weird and crazy, horrific films. um And I have seen most of his movies, but one slipped by me called The Straight Story. Huh?
00:37:31
Speaker
And I got to tell you, this might be actually one of my favorite films of all time now. I'm not joking. Old new in white year was straight. Let me look it up right now while while I keep talking about this. Um, and I'll tell you a little bit about the synopsis. The straight story is a movie that like you almost can't believe that David Lynch did this movie. If I'm being honest with you,
00:37:56
Speaker
um because it is very unlike David Lynch, but then also like it actually is kind of like David Lynch, a really great cast. um Richard Farnsworth is the main character. Sissy Spacek is in this movie um and a bunch of other really wonderful people. ah Barbara Kingsley, Bill McCallum, Ed Grennan, Everett McGill, Jack Walsh. And it's a pretty simple story. There is an old farmer um and widower who is in Iowa named Alvin.
00:38:24
Speaker
And Alvin hears that his brother Lyle, who lives in Wisconsin, is dying. And he decides that he's going to go see him for the last time. Oh, and by the way, it's from 1999. But the trick is this. um Alvin has a lot of health problems. He can't drive, right? So what does he do? And and and he's poor, right? I mean, it not poor, but like they don't have a lot of money. And it's it's just him and his daughter, who was played by Sissy Spacek living in this house in Iowa.
00:38:54
Speaker
So he decides that he is going to make a little trailer and he gets a little trailer going and he hitches it to the back of his writing lawnmower. That's it. And he gets on this writing lawnmower and he goes all the way to Wisconsin from Iowa. And that sounds like a really simple story.
00:39:14
Speaker
I gotta tell you, I cried in this movie, I i didn't just cry, I fucking wept in this movie, over and over again. What happens is that, like at at there's there's moments where he has to stop, obviously, because he's on a fucking tractor, or a fucking lawnmower. And so like at each of the moments that he stops, he meets he meets like like a new set of people, or he meets a good person.
00:39:38
Speaker
And every time that that he's there with these new people, it's like a new life lesson comes out. And it is it's breathtakingly beautiful. It is such a simple movie. it It completely cuts to your core. There's one scene where he's talking... I won't say what it is if you've never seen it before, but there's one scene where he's talking to this this young woman who was pregnant, and she's she's left her house because she thinks her family hates her, and so she's just like, you know, hitching for rides, and she's on her own on on the road, and she's just sleeping outside kind of thing. And so, you know, she she, of course, he's this really nice guy, and he has a fire going, and she comes up and talks to him. And there is a moment where he talks about Sissy Spacek as his daughter. I gotta tell ya,
00:40:20
Speaker
i I just I burst out crying. It was it one of the most incredible, simple things I've ever seen on film before in my life. It is astounding. I could go on and on about it. um If you've never seen it before, I highly, highly recommend this. This is probably now in my top five films of all time. And I i absolutely loved it. It was incredible. And I just I can't believe it took me this long to see it. Honestly, um I just don't think I ever even knew about it.
00:40:48
Speaker
But now that now that I do and now that I have it, I loved it. You gotta go see it. Yeah, it sounds like one that I would actually enjoy because I'm not it I'm not with David Lynch stuff. It's like few and far between that I like yeah get it. I'm not even saying like I enjoy it. I just he has such a weird brain. Yeah, of course. I sometimes just don't get it. And that sounds like a movie I could definitely. you Yeah, you will definitely get it. And um in America, ah I bought it because I was like, what whatever, I was fucking by it. um But in America, you you can watch it on Disney Plus because this is the only movie and
00:41:20
Speaker
where it will open and say, Walt Disney presents a David Lynch film. It is love bizarre, but that there it is for you. So that's it. Straight story. Awesome. So that's very funny that you did that because I also visited a movie that I've been meaning to watch for a really long time. And that's a movie from 2014 called The Skeleton Twins. you have Have you seen this movie? It does sound kind of familiar, but I i know I haven't seen it though.
00:41:49
Speaker
This is um a movie ah with Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader okay and Bill Hader plays kind of a middle-aged gay guy who's kind of like at his wit's end and he has some addiction issues and Um, he tries, he tries to take his own life. Well, when he goes to the hospital, because, uh, because it wasn't, you know, he didn't do it. Um, and his sister is called because his sister is is like listed as his next of kin. sure And they have been estranged for like five years, not because of any like big reason, like there wasn't like a big falling out or anything. They just kind of like lost, they just kind of like lost each other. You know what I mean? Like, I think Bill, I think Bill Hader moved away to like a big city and she stayed behind and like, you know, in a small town. OK. And this reunites them. And it's just like a really touching story about like siblings and like what it's like to just when when one sibling tries to like make like make their life different than the rest of the family. And then they have to come back to that and just like deal with that. Wow. And so like I don't want to give too much away, but i like. good
00:43:00
Speaker
it's a really really good movie and the only reason I still remembered it is because there's one scene where they do like a karaoke type of moment and it comes across my reels every once in a while and I was like oh I keep forgetting about this movie so I added it to my list and finally watched it so glad I did totally different performances from Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader than you would, you know, normally get. and So if you if you forgot about this movie or you never saw it, definitely go back and watch The Skeleton Twins. It's currently on Amazon Prime for those that have was it quite touching.
00:43:35
Speaker
Yes. It's a, it's very melodramatic. and Okay. Yeah. and that sounds like something one You would love it. yeah I'm going to, I'm going to want, that sounds really good. And frankly, those are the kinds of movies that I need right now. You know, like the ones that like make you cry and ah in a good way. I really need those. So those I'm, I'm glad to hear that.
00:43:56
Speaker
um My next film is pointed up on Letterboxd, I can remember who's in it. It's called The Childhood of a Leader. Have you seen this? I haven't even heard of this. This is ah this is a crazy movie. This is from Brady Corbet. I think this might be Brady Corbet's debut film, but I can't quite recall right now.
00:44:17
Speaker
um this is This is a wild movie. This is about um a child um in this family ah who is in France and the father is working for the United States. This is in 1918 on the creation of the Treaty of Versailles, which of course ended World War I, right? Um, and so, uh, like the father and the mother, the mother is French, the father is American and the, then they have this, this boy and the boy is probably, I would say like 10 years old, I guess, something like that. Um, and the movie is all about this kid and this kid is just a little weirdo. This is a little fucking weirdo.
00:45:03
Speaker
and Damien on our hands. And he's yeah, it's kind of like it's kind of like that, but like not as not as like overblown as that. And so like this kid like is just is he's just odd. He doesn't seem to have he's clearly a sociopath.
00:45:19
Speaker
But like he's not a sociopath that's killing birds or something. He likes to fuck with people. And it's never heavy-handed. It's never like hitting you with a hammer like like to show you how bad this kid is. so like In other words, it's not the omen. You you know got a little talented Mr. Rippy, a little child show.
00:45:37
Speaker
And it's really creepy because the the movie takes itself very seriously. It's it's not funny at all. And um and like the the mother and the father are both very serious people. And the the father is played by Liam Cunningham, who um you would know from my Game of Thrones and other things like that. So he's he's a pretty famous famous actor um and the mother, I'm not sure, but she was really good. And to be fair, the kid was really good in this.
00:46:02
Speaker
um But like I don't want to give too much away some kind of tiptoeing around it, but like the kid just does some crazy shit and it ends up in an insane episode that I don't want to give away. um So it's ah it's a slow burner, but it burns really good. And then at the end, it cuts away to a scene many years later.
00:46:25
Speaker
And I'm just going to leave it at that. the call This is called the childhood of a leader. So it's really interesting. um And it's really well done. It's a beautiful film. Like like the photography is incredible. The costumes are amazing. The house that they live in is perfect for this. And so like it looks, it it looks um lush and it's, it's, it's, it's just, it's, it's a beautiful movie to watch. And it is also very, a bit frightening. I would say that, you know, it's not a perfect movie by any means. I mean, there, there are some things at it that I'm like, I kind of wish that it, you know, maybe we had known a little bit more about like the politics of it that would have been helpful.
00:47:07
Speaker
Um, but it's really interesting and I think that folks would like it. So, you know, give it a watch. I think like if you, if you and Michael were to watch it, Andrew, I feel like Michael might like it a little bit more than you would, but I i think that you would still like this. So I would say give it a watch.
00:47:22
Speaker
You've got me intrigued by the ending, so maybe I'll give it a watch. ge the and And the ending is short, don't get me wrong, but it is worth it. And I think, I was trying to remember this morning, but my brain is dead. I think I watched it on movie, but I could be wrong, but you can find it on other stuff too.
00:47:38
Speaker
Well, you should get movie just so you could watch the substance anyway. Oh, exactly. um All right. My next one is a movie called My Old Ass. That's why I say that almost every day. um And this is about the story of a girl who is turning 18. I think she's turning 18, maybe 19.
00:47:56
Speaker
and she wants to do shrooms with her friends for the first time like that's like shrooms right now they live in like the vancouver seattle part of the of the world like that upper like that that moist part of the world where there's like islands and stuff and so they go off to this island where they know they're gonna be alone and these three girls do mushrooms together and they're having a great time And they're all kind of having their own little trip. And then all of a sudden, this woman walks up, played by Aubrey Plaza. okay And she says to the one girl, I'm you, but 40. And they have a conversation about like what they what her life is like when she's 40 and dadada da, da, da, da, da. But the Aubrey Plaza character is is sure to say, like I don't want to tell you too much because I want it to be a surprise. But I will tell you a couple of things.
00:48:48
Speaker
And she finally gets out of her, you know, avoid this boy, like avoid. I think his name is Clyde or something, so something like that. um And then the next day after she wakes up from this trip and, you know, um obviously Aubrey Plaza is not there anymore. Yeah, she meets that boy and like like and it's kind of like this push and pull of she's kind of falling in love with him. But should she avoid him? Should she follow the the advice of her 40 year old self? Meanwhile,
00:49:18
Speaker
She has the phone number and is texting her forty year old so. And so it's kind of a little bit of a trippy one it's not scary it's definitely a comedy movie. um um But it has that little bit of science fiction the action to it and it has a really really.
00:49:35
Speaker
Um, heartfelt payoff and I really loved it. it was really good Good. Um, ah first of all, I love our re Plaza. She's, um she's honestly good in anything. She's she is really good. She's very quiet. It's, it's not really her show this time around. It was kind of a supporting role. Okay.
00:49:53
Speaker
And if you're looking for like, I mean, listen, I think you can tell by the first two picks here, I'm looking for stuff that makes me feel good. And that made me feel good. So watch my old ass on Amazon Prime. ah Sounds like a good one.
00:50:10
Speaker
ah My next one is one that I'm surprised I hadn't seen until now and I think I had always meant to see it and I just I said otherwise I didn't get around to Yeah, and this one is the reader um from 2008. The reader is with Kate Winslet, Ray Fiennes, David Cross, Bruno Gans and a few other people Um, have you seen this movie? Do you know about it? No, but the fact that you said David Cross and Kate Winslet in one movie is crazy. Yeah. Well, well, well, a different David Cross, David, David K cross. Oh, I thought you meant the comedy actor. Yeah. No, this is David Cross who, um, he, he was like, he was like an older, I i think probably he's probably like 20 when this is, sorry for the mix up.
00:50:51
Speaker
um but I'll tell you what that would have made this movie very interesting when I say what it's about so what is what is this movie about this is about. um This is about a teenager um who i think is like.
00:51:06
Speaker
maybe 16 in the movie, I'm pretty sure, um named Michael, Michael Berg. um And this is about his ah his adolescence, because that's what he was then, right, in becoming a teenager, in Germany um after the war. So this is in the late 50s. So you you know it's about you know at least a decade after World War II had come to an end.
00:51:29
Speaker
And um he is this, you know, just, you know, teenager with all the same kind of desires that teenagers have. And he um one day gets really sick on the train. And it turns out that he has, I forget, what what's the disease? It's in my head. He has scarlet fever, right? And he doesn't know it, but he gets off the train and he throws up and he's like looking for help. And this woman helps him, right? And so he he finally gets home.
00:51:55
Speaker
Turns out he has scarlet fever. He has to be in bed for like like three months or something something crazy like that. she When he's done, he he tells his mother, he's like, oh yeah, you know a woman helped me and i I need to go thank her for that because i I might be dead without her. And so he goes to thank her, you know, brings her flowers and it's Kate Winslet and they have sex.
00:52:19
Speaker
And that alone is crazy because obviously the movie you know shows it. She's she's she's like our age, you know what I mean? And so just that right there is like, whoa, what is going on right now? um So that's pretty crazy.
00:52:35
Speaker
And um I am gonna, I'm just gonna go ahead and give a spoiler here because look, if if you if you look into it, you're gonna find out what it is, right? So it turns out that they have this long affair. And of course he is a child, so he doesn't really understand all the emotional aspects of this, right? But she's being kind of weird about it. And what she does is she she knows that he's like smart. He's a smart kid. Like he he studies Latin at school and does this, he does that.
00:53:02
Speaker
And so he she makes him read to her and he reads big books to her. The Odyssey, this book, that book, all these classics. He reads book after book after book after book and she loves it. She's crying. She's laughing. She's into it. And they fall in love with this. They both just fall in love with each other.
00:53:20
Speaker
and they go on this little biking trip and that happens and this happens and then one day they have this big fight and the next day she's gone she's gone and he has no idea what happens to her fast forward he goes to university right and in university he's studying law And with the law, it's right around the time of them doing the trials for ex-Nazis that they had captured. right So in in in the movie, the professor takes them to one of the trials and at the trial, they are cross-examining guards from one of the camps and it's women guards. Who's one of the guards? Her.
00:54:02
Speaker
um And so no there there he is with his professor and everybody else, and he realizes as soon as she starts speaking, he hears her that she was a Nazi guard, of like Auschwitz or something, and she was really, really bad. But we also learn in it that she's illiterate and like just kind of stupid. mean i and There's no better way to say it. She's just not a she's not a smart person.
00:54:28
Speaker
And so like it's the the movie walks a lot of really interesting fine lines and and frankly, it crosses lines, too. Right. But one of the lines that it tries to walk here is is she as is she as culpable for the crimes because she's that fucking dumb?
00:54:49
Speaker
and like I know that that that's a weird thing to say it that way, but it's that like that's what it kind of tries to explore a little bit. It's interesting because I think a lot of people think that Stephen Daldry wants you to feel a lot of sympathy for her, but I don't think that's the case. i think in so i don't I don't know what it is he wants us to feel, but it's not that.
00:55:10
Speaker
So I don't know. It ends up being a really interesting film. And then, of course, The Boy becomes Ray Fiennes in the future. And there's a whole other bag of beans with that kind of stuff. So it is so interesting. Very, very interesting movie. I i do recommend it to people. um It's a lot to stomach. It is. And there are scenes that are definitely uncomfortable to watch. I'm not going to lie to you. um But it was it was really good. It's not a movie that I enjoy watching, but it's one that I think was a really it left me thinking for a while. It really did. Cool. Yeah. And also, also kill all Nazis. I'm just going to say that. I also, i I seem to think that I, as you were explaining the movie, I think that I remember this from like award season. I think this was, yeah award I'm sure i maybe Kate Winslet even won for it or something, yeah something like that. Who knows? Yeah.
00:56:00
Speaker
All right. Well, my next one, you can tell by my list here, I've been surfing the Amazon prime waves, but god this is a cruel intentions. Now, is this cruel intentions? Is this cruel intention with ah Sarah Michelle Geller? No, this is the new mini series. Cruel intentions. Nice. ah This is about a ah brother and sister who are at university in like, I would say like Ivy League, like put it put it in Ivy League.
00:56:29
Speaker
And there's a girl that they're trying to, that, um, the sister is trying to recruit to her, uh, sorority. Sure. And it's the vice president's daughter. And so it's like a big deal if they get her to, you know, go to the sorority. Okay. And then so that they may, it's, it's the typical cruel intentions thing. The boy wants to have sex with her. The girl thinks that she won't. And so they make a bet.
00:56:55
Speaker
you know go from there, but now stretch that out, I think eight episodes. jesus god Listen, i think that we're I think that this is too late for this show. I think that if this would have came out at the time when Riverdale was coming out, it probably would have done well.
00:57:16
Speaker
But I think Amazon's just a little bit behind the curve. It does feel a little bit like why are you doing the cruel intentions now? Yeah, it's to be honest. It just doesn't quite stick the landing. I mean, I will say the girl that plays the Sarah Michelle Geller role in this, you know, she does a good job. the The guy that they cast to play Sebastian is not good. No.
00:57:41
Speaker
Yeah. And like, not charismatic like if Ryan Philippi was in the original. Like it's just, I don't know. This one just, I watched all eight episodes and at the end of it, I was like, this isn't going to get renewed. That's like, how i like do you know what I mean? Like I do. Yeah. So I, I wouldn't, unless you're like a diehard fan and like really want to know,
00:58:03
Speaker
And none of the none of the cast returns except for Cece's boyfriend in the original movie, which if you can remember that the the the black guy who yeah yeah throws a does he throw wine? Yeah, he throws Ryan Phillip Bay in front of the car at the end. um He he returns as a as a professor, ah but nobody else from the original cast returns. And so like it's kind of just a throwaway for me. I don't know. I watched it. I watched it because I was interested, but like it wasn't It wasn't anything to, ah it's not anything to throw your energy at unless you have time to watch it. I'll be honest, it doesn't sound like something that I really, and I like cruel intentions, but I don't, it just, that doesn't interest me right now. You know what I mean? It just kind of doesn't. um Andrew, my next and final one is the Pope's exorcist. Finally watched this one.
00:58:52
Speaker
um you'll remember This is ah this is the one with what's his face right with with with Russell Crowe and you remember yeah a few episodes ah ago I talked about another one just called the exorcist right but also had yeah and and I think it was like it and it it was it was meant to be sort of like a a goofy weird um And and and very but it was bizarre movie. It was like a bizarre sequel almost to the Pope's Exorcist because like it's about like him playing an exorcist. It's it's really weird. Anyways, the Pope's Exorcist, though, um came out in twenty twenty three. He plays faret Father Gabriel Amorath, who was the chief exorcist of the Vatican until he died. And I got to tell you, like it was I finally another one. I just finally got around to watching.
00:59:37
Speaker
This movie didn't have as much right to be as good as it was, and it was good. Like I actually I had a good time with this movie and fucking Alex Esso, as always, baby, she delivers and she was ridiculous and I loved it. Ralph Einsen was really good. I love Ralph Einsen. Russell Crowe was was ridiculous, but good and like funny. Like I laughed at multiple times in this movie.
01:00:02
Speaker
I had a good time with it, man. I just thought it was really good. All I remember about this movie is him riding around on that tiny little motorcycle. Yeah. And you know what? It fucking works, dude. Like i I thought I remember I didn't want to see it at first because I was like, you know what? I'm probably going to hate this. And I'm so glad that I got over myself because you know what? I had a wonderful time watching this movie. It's a little bit funny. There there are some scary parts to it. It is kind of interesting, too. It's it's well over the top. But like, who cares? It's a fucking exorcist movie. Like, let let it be.
01:00:32
Speaker
and um And it was fun. I enjoyed it quite a bit. So if you haven't seen it, i i let me tell you, watch it tonight. It was a lot of fun. I think i think if I remember right there, are two more sequels planned. Oh, good. I'll tell you what, that makes me excited right now because I am all in on the on this series for sure. All right. My last one is I finally watched Challengers. um You know about this movie, correct? I do. Yes, I have not watched it yet.
01:00:56
Speaker
So this is the Zendaya vehicle, um, about tennis, competitive boinio and, um, score by Trent Reznor, uh, which is now nominated. I believe by the way, I will be seen in Dublin in June, nine inch nails, baby tour over in Dublin. Can't wait.
01:01:14
Speaker
So challengers, um, how do I, how do I talk about this movie? It's two and a half hours long. I will say that. So that's why it's taken me so long to watch it. I watched it in two sittings because it is very confusing. I don't think that Luca Guadagnino knows how to make a movie that is not like three hours long. Yeah, well, it's it's just the structure of the movie is it goes back and forth in time, but then it also goes back and forth to like ah one one set of tennis. So like one game of tennis. So there's like three timelines that you have to pay attention to. And the first time I was watching this, I got like through an hour and a half and I was like, I need a break. I i don't know what's going on. I need a break from this. Wow. OK.
01:01:55
Speaker
And so, like, and and I finally finished it. And I got to tell you, like, the cinematography and the score are and and and the actors are all amazing. They do such a great job. I i love Josh Josh O'Connor. I think he's he's fantastic. However. The plot of this movie is so stupid. It's stupid. And the I got to tell you for Gay people, it is very gay-baity.
01:02:29
Speaker
It's very edgy, like edgelord type shit. Like this thing is as edging, edging, edging, no payoff. And that's all I'm going to say. Really? Okay. That's disappointing to hear. And so like, I'm kind of, I'm kind of 50 50 on this one. Like, okay. A lot of people were like, how did this not get nominated for a best picture? And I'm like, it doesn't deserve best picture. It doesn't even deserve to be nominated, but it's an interesting watch. and Okay. But I don't know what he's trying to do.
01:02:59
Speaker
and I don't really understand how I'm supposed to feel at the end. So and maybe you watch it and let me know how you feel. I think you might like it more than I did, okay but I will say Zendaya, the three main cast are, they do a fucking great job. But it is it is hilarious how they use this score. And I don't want to tell you okay more about this, but like there were parts of this where the score comes in and I started laughing out loud because it is so ridiculous. So, you know, I i do like Luca Guadagnino quite a bit. i I. Yeah, me too. I adore his Suspiria. I can come. I got it right now. I love it so much.
01:03:43
Speaker
I loved Call Me By Your Name, absolutely adore that film and it did justice to the book in really great ways. um and and you know But yeah at the same time too, he's not perfect. you know like People who have seen Queer recently, and I haven't seen it yet, but all all the people that I know that have seen Queer are like,
01:04:00
Speaker
Yeah, that's not good. I think it's really bad, they said. So like this one, um i don't it's another one that i'm I'm surprised that I haven't seen it yet. I will see it. I'm glad you brought it up, actually. Watch it because I want to know your opinion on it. Yeah, I will for sure. I will for sure.
01:04:15
Speaker
Uh, well, look folks, that brings us to the end of what you've been watching. Bitch. Andrew brought us the skeleton twins on Amazon prime, my old ass on Amazon prime and also on me. Uh, cruel intentions on these are all in Amazon prime, cruel intentions and also challengers. And Maddie brought us the straight story, which you can look on Disney plus the childhood of a leader on movie, the reader on Amazon prime and the Pope's exorcist, which is currently streaming on Netflix.
01:04:45
Speaker
So folks, that does it for what you've been watching, bitch. Hang tight. We'll be right back with our first film of the episode, Puppet Master.
01:04:53
Speaker
In a house of mysteries. This hotel seems to have quite a history, Mrs. Yawia. Who are you people? A research team with special powers. My god. She's experiencing the past because we are all joined by our thoughts. Has uncovered an ancient secret. I have something I want to show you. Metaphysically speaking, I killed myself. But they are playing with an evil force. What was he doing with the power? You can't save her, Alex. They have given life to a deadly power. We're all in game. And now, a box of little toys... I think someone's in the room, Frank. ...has become a gang of little terrors.
01:05:44
Speaker
are
01:05:49
Speaker
Pinhead, Blade, Ms. Leech, a Jester, and Tunneler.
01:06:18
Speaker
Irene Miracle, Paul Lamat, Barbara Crempton, and William Hickey as the Puppet Master. We are not discussing the Master of Puppets, which is a fantastic album. Instead, we are talking about the Puppet Master. Andrew, tell us about Puppet Master.
01:06:39
Speaker
Evil comes in all sizes. Alex Whittaker and three other gifted psychics investigate rumors that that the secret of life has been discovered by master puppeteer Andre Toulon in the form of five killer puppets uniquely qualified for murder and mayhem. Directed by David Schmoller, written by Kenneth J. Hall and yeah, okay, wait, this is not right, is it?
01:07:06
Speaker
Okay. <unk> Kenneth J. Hall and Joseph G. Colerty. That is correct. Production distribution were handled by Full Moon Pictures. Andre Toulon is played by William Hickey. Alex Whitaker is played by Paul Lamott. Diana Hadley is played by Irene Miracle. miracle yeah She's a miracle. ah Neil Gallagher is played by Jimmy Skaggs.
01:07:28
Speaker
Meghan Gallagher is played by Jimi Skaggs. It was played by Robin Freights. Frank Forester is played by Matt Rowe. Carissa Stanford is played by Catherine O'Reilly. Teresa is played by Muse Small and a woman at Carnival. Special appearance by Barbara Crampton.
01:07:47
Speaker
Rated R, this comes in at, no, this is 83 minutes, it's not 90 minutes, but ah released on October 12th of 1989. Locations are Pasadena and Riverside, California. Budget is 6.8 million, made $26.5 million. dollars All right, Puppet Master, Maddie, have you seen this before? And what are your thoughts? I saw it a long time ago, like when I was a kid.
01:08:14
Speaker
um So it's it's been it's been a ah long time since since I saw it. And um look, this was it was not a good week for me. I'm just going to point that out to everybody. and It was actually a really bad week with work and a lot of other stuff. And then today, I i was i was out last night for an event and i frankly, i had i had some I had some pints, right? And I woke up today and I was not feeling the best.
01:08:37
Speaker
But like you know but oftentimes Andrew and I when it's when it's recording day or or for you it'll be the night before I all wake up on Saturday and I'll you know I'll get all the the movies in and I generally have time. And so um I had it in my head because we had a mishap with our worksheets um that we were watching child's play today.
01:08:56
Speaker
And so I started the day watching Child's Play, which frankly is wonderful. It's a great way to start the day. I love Child's Play, right? um And then Andrew tells me, he's like, you know we're watching Puppet Master for this and not Child's Play. And I was like, motherfucker. And I was already planning to do this and to do that. And I was like, fuck, I got to watch fuck another fucking movie. So I watched Puppet Master and I was not in a great mood about it. I'm not going to lie. And so that did definitely affect my view of this viewing. I'm not going to lie to you there.
01:09:25
Speaker
Look, um Puppet Master, this is a wacky movie. It's wacky in so many ways. And um I think like it's it's one of those movies that just like it's it's so 80s. It's like you either like that or you don't. and and i And I don't, I'll be honest. And so like the thing about that that sucks, though, is that it's actually it's not a bad idea. Like this is actually kind of a cool idea.
01:09:53
Speaker
But it just doesn't like it's not it doesn't it doesn't flow in the way that I would like it to flow. And, um you know, look, you've got fucking ah William Hickey with that crazy voice like this. And he's fucking puppet master making these puppets. God love him. And he also he's gay as fuck. Like, obviously, right. He is clearly gay.
01:10:14
Speaker
um And you know he's he's making these puppets, and the puppets are scared because the Nazis are coming to get him in California somehow. And these Nazi spies are coming, and he decides to hide them in a trunk in in the wall of this inn. And he kills himself before the Nazis can get him. That's also Uncle Louis from National Lampoon's Christmas vacation. Right, right, right, right. right i got it you know I forgot about that, actually. That's right.
01:10:40
Speaker
and um and so you know And then it just goes on from there. I think what I don't like about the movie is that i the the the people that come together, these psychic people, um I just really don't like them. And and they're just kind of annoying.
01:10:57
Speaker
And on top of it, um, like the puppets themselves are so crazy. Like blade makes sense, right? And like blade from my childhood, like like it's, it's puppet masters. Another one of those covers in the, in like blockbuster that like you remember as a kid scene, you know? oh yeah yeah And so like, and like blade is like, obviously like the one that you remember the most, I would say probably.
01:11:20
Speaker
and like i don't remember the other names of them but like you know the big guy with a little head with a big hands and all that shit but then you got the the the girl one i don't know what that one's called enough you know what that one's called. but You got the girl one which woman reach so listen all the rest of them kinda make sense right.
01:11:37
Speaker
Blade's got a knife, you know the small head guy's got huge hands so he can choke you and he's all strong and shit. The jester that spins his head is just, he just sits there spinning his head, good for him. And that you got you got the guy with the drill on his head for whatever reason, yeah cool, got it.
01:11:53
Speaker
Then you got the one that spits up
Deep Dive into Puppet Master
01:11:56
Speaker
leeches. And I'm like, what on earth? but How is how? Why? Why? Why is that a thing? And it doesn't make any sense at all to me. It's so bizarre. Slow death by leeches. I guess so. it's just i would not think If I was making a puppet that could kill people and I had to like give it qualities, I wouldn't think, hmm, this one will cough up leeches. That's that that that that's a good idea. um I think that the movie loses itself a lot in in like the whole middle of it. like The whole thing with him looking for the thing at that with with with the Neil Gallagher and all this stuff.
01:12:37
Speaker
It's it's a it's a lot and it goes on. for it it's It goes on for a surprisingly long time for a movie that is less than 90 minutes. um So I don't know. I I was definitely pissed off this morning for a number of reasons. I shouldn't have been that mad at the movie. I'll probably up my score because of it. um But like I just I didn't have a ah good time watching it. I'll be honest with you. Got it.
01:13:01
Speaker
All right. Well, how do we you feel about it? So this is why I was thrown off by our worksheet because it didn't have anything about Charles Band in it. And I was like, Charles Band is the face of full moon. He's the face of everything. Charles Band. he's the use He wrote the story. Yeah. And he wrote the story. But yeah. And so, yeah. So the stuff.
01:13:20
Speaker
Oh, you know what's interesting? What I went off of, it does have it in the article there, but it doesn't have it. It doesn't have it like in the credits on the side. Yeah. and No, it's not. No, no, whatever. that but Sorry. That's why I got like like choked. And I was like, wait, where's Charles Band? But and then funny enough, composed by Richard Band, his brother, so the music. Let's say their aunt's boyfriend. yeah Right. um So puppet master.
01:13:46
Speaker
um This is one of those ones that I think like I maybe like stumbled upon like late at night or through like a movie rental when I was a kid. and like I don't really remember that much about it, but I remembered being like, oh, that's just like so it's just like a cheesy movie. like Nothing to write home about. um i Upon watching it this time,
01:14:10
Speaker
I had a ton of fun with it. not going to lie i know and and look good good for you I'm glad that you did. i think it's I think the story is hilarious that they are a group of psychics that can't determine their own death. yeah That's all funny. pretty funny yeah um But I just think that this is really inventive of like a story. like Who would think that like a ah someone running from Nazis brings to life dolls through Egyptian spells and like befriends them? like And then when he dies, they don't know what to do. And so they're they're they're always um akin to whoever their controller is. And so when their controller is
01:14:54
Speaker
our our modern day guy who kills himself and then comes back to life. They're evil because he's evil. And so I don't know. I think this kind of an interesting story. Is it super cheesy? Yes. Like it's very cheesy.
01:15:09
Speaker
Like all of the acting is very over the top, especially are like so a quote unquote like sexy couple. Like they're so over the top. And also but like but the sex scene, the sex scenes are ridiculous. Like yeah there's literally a sheet like like when when they are like when they're like fucking like she's writing them, right? There's literally a sheet over him.
01:15:31
Speaker
Yeah. And I was like, girl, I don't know how you're getting a dick through that sheet, but I don't think so. You know what I mean? It's called birth control. No, I guess so. Jeez. No, but um I just think that this is like goofy in the right way. And I think that it's like cheesy, but they know it's cheesy. So it's kind of like we can do that. Do you think that I think so? Because I kind of do you think this movie took itself seriously when it came out?
01:15:57
Speaker
I don't think so. It's about killer puppets. so which you But yeah you know, you you know what I mean. It's like it's like child's play. yeah It has fun with itself, but it also takes itself seriously. You know, I don't know. I think maybe some of the actors did like I may think maybe that our main our main guy, our main psychic who has dreams. I think I think maybe he thinks it's serious. my right The girl with the fucking ah southern accent. Holy shit. I was like, where did, what theater school did you pull this accent out of might call her i call her drunk psychic? which what wait what what What's her name? Which one is she? She is like, I don't, I don't, I literally don't remember any of the name of any of these people except for Andre Toulon. Same.
01:16:43
Speaker
Um, but I don't know if we're supposed to because they're just kind of like dispatched of, I mean, this movie is an hour and 23 minutes long. yeah Like it's not a long movie. So we get right into it. So we don't get a lot of backstory. We know that the one woman is a fortune teller at a, at a, at a circus. And we know that the other two are like, like, okay. So I think they are sex therapists basically.
01:17:09
Speaker
yeah i don't know Sex psychics. Well, it's on and in on on um what do you call it? he oh Oh, she she was Carissa, the sex person. and So um in in Wikipedia, it says Catherine O'Reilly as Carissa Stamford, a psychometrist for Pensa Research Inc. PRI and partner to Frank.
01:17:29
Speaker
Yeah, so she's the one that gets killed by the drill guy. Yeah, she gets drilled. ha ha ah she I put in my notes, she gets drilled again. but but ah ah Stupid. Oh my God. um But no, another thing that I, but I just think that the puppets are so well done in this. Like I think that yeah be for For this? For 89, yes. Yeah. And by the way, by the way, by the way, I had clearly, I must have, it was a bad day. Like I said, ah the the budget was not what I had done. that That was for a previous movie. The budget for this was $400,000. I was going to say, this looks really bad. for As soon as you said it, I was like, oops, I forgot to delete that. um It's $400,000 and we don't know what the gross was from it.
01:18:09
Speaker
Yeah, I want to say that most of the puppet master movies were direct to but they were direct to video or direct to DVD. But listen, I listen, I adore puppet vision. and I think puppet vision is yeah really fun. Like when we are in that, when we are in the brain of the puppet and we're running around like nobody can see us, but we're clearly like two foot tall and people should be able to see us. I find that so funny. I do like blade. I like how blade sort of like does a.
01:18:40
Speaker
I think it's really funny that he gets like boner eyes when he kills people. I know, which is ridiculous. And I do like I i have to say I do like how like you can see how the mupp how the the muppets how the puppets change um like, you know, at at the steep crosses them. Yeah. when When we first see them like they're they're not evil at all. Almost like they're like they're like they're looking out for him. Yeah.
01:19:04
Speaker
Which is really interesting. And then, and then you know, they they become what their what their master tells them to do. um So when they become evil, it's almost like, wow, that that's kind of weird. Yeah. And I do like that it takes, um like, I like that in this movie and in this universe, in this universe, like, psychics are just real. You know what I mean? Like, they're just they're just real. Like, we not we don't we're not. They are.
01:19:28
Speaker
Like nobody's like, uh, even like Barbara Crampton and the guy that she's with at the circus, like she, like they the, um, she even gets the, the fortune wrong. She's even like, Oh, your grandma's, she's not going to be around for much longer. And Barbara Crampton's like, Oh, my grandma's dead. And then she's like, Oh, I meant him. like so like ah And so like, I do appreciate that. And I think that it's a fun, it's kind of like,
01:19:55
Speaker
I don't know. it' It's kind of like a little merry man, like band of like X-Men psychics in this movie, which I kind of think is kind of fun. Like I would watch more movies with this group of psychics if they didn't earn up yeah like go do stuff. And I just think that the lore that they build into this, I'm kind of interested to watch more puppet.
01:20:12
Speaker
Master movies just to see like where they take this. I'm probably going to avoid them. But, you know, maybe if I'm having a good day, I might watch one. We'll see. I know that it gets much more into Nazis. Like I know that it goes way more. more I mean, it looks like it goes all the way to Puppet Master 10, which was released in 2012 and looking at the cover for that one as big Nazi shit on that. Like a lot of that. Well, I know the one that came out and during the pandemic was called Puppet Master, The Littlest Reich.
01:20:42
Speaker
so ah That's just, that's ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Um, but I do like, uh, I, I did think that there was going to be one more twist and maybe they do this in this sequel. I don't know, but I thought that his, uh, so, so the guy who's dead, you know, he's obviously resurrected by the Egyptian spell, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Master of the puppets now. I thought maybe his wife was going to turn out to be ah like a resurrected. Sure.
01:21:11
Speaker
You know what I mean? like Yeah, that he was falling in love with, which I'm sorry, um which is really interesting because Alex are Alex Whitaker, our main psychic, like there's obviously like sexual chemistry between him and the wife. And the movie plays it up like they're going to get together. But then when the movie ends, he's just like, OK, see you later. If you ever come out East, look me up. And I was like, wait, what? OK, I guess so, dude. Bye bye. Did you ever did you notice that? I was like, wait. Yeah.
01:21:40
Speaker
And then I do like at the very end, which maybe this plays into puppet master too. I don't know, but she resurrects the dog that was taxidermied. And so I don't know. Is she the new puppet master? Because they never address what happens to the puppets. It really did. That part really did.
01:21:59
Speaker
And I'm, I know I'm taking this movie way more seriously than I should. Like I did get really annoyed that we didn't get any resolution on the puppets because we got resolution on the guy who was the bad guy. Obviously the, he turns against the puppets and so they turn against him. But then like it, like I said, he's just like, okay, see you later. Three of my friends are dead and, and they're puppets running around the house, but gotta to go like, This is so bizarre. The ending of this movie is so, so weird. I don't know. Am I, am I being, am I being too literal on this? Maybe a little bit, but you know, i mean it's but it, but it's okay. I mean, we have a podcast about horror movies. Here we are.
01:22:40
Speaker
Yeah, but that just that started to get me. i'm so It looks like the the most recent puppet master, by the way, was called puppet master doctor death for what the time for which the tagline is the doctor is insane. And it came out in 2022. Also, ah also, well, of course, produced by Charles Ban. So that that's got to be a funny one. It's only it's only an hour long, an hour long, that one 60 minutes.
01:23:06
Speaker
Um, some of the things I thought were funny in this movie is I like when we're in, um, puppet, puppet mode and that the one puppet finally gets seen by that old lady in the hallway of the hotel. And they both kind of got yeah serious that is they both kind of react to each other, both scared of each other.
01:23:23
Speaker
I just, and it's funny because I think that that's like, I think that's like a person in a doll suit at that point. Oh, okay. Because it doesn't look like CGI like, or like claymation. Maybe it's claymation that they did for the puppet. I'm not sure, but, um, I just think that they look really good for, for this movie. Um, and it's not like so bad that it's good. You know what I mean? Like it actually looks good.
01:23:48
Speaker
um Some other parts I thought were funny were um the one psychic says to the housekeeper, don't go near the fireplace. And in the next scene, she's tending to the fireplace.
01:24:03
Speaker
Why, God, why? And that's where she dies. So only be resurrected later by. um But yes, it is very ah strange. Leech woman is a very strange. um It's just like that. It's just why like that. ah How did Charles Band think up? ah One of them will have leeches. That's perfect. like this just special She regurgitates out of her mouth. So crazy. Suck blood to death. Right. Very, very odd. I i just I don't get that. I don't get it.
01:24:33
Speaker
I really like the name of the hotel. I think the Bodega Bay Inn is really fun. That's in another movie, right? Well, it sounds like the fog. Yeah. Is that not the fog? I don't know. It's called the fog is, it's a bay. Hold on. The fog. Am I getting this wrong? It's kind of a, it's a similar name though. Oh, come on. Where is it?
01:25:02
Speaker
Or maybe they're like Bandele Bay. I don't remember, but it's something like like that. i'm when I'm finding it right now. And people obey. It's Antonio Bay. Yeah, yeah I swear to God there's somewhere else called Bodega Bay or maybe that's a real place, but it could be. But yeah, overall, I had fun with this movie. Do I think it's like anything that I will watch again and again and again? No. yeah But am I inspired to watch s sequels? Maybe. Well, there we go.
01:25:28
Speaker
Andrew, tell me what you rated puppet master. So here at Friday, the 13th horror podcast, we grade on a seven stripe scale for the seven stripes of the gay old rainbow. I give puppet master a 4.5 and I said, is it cheesy? Yes, but it sticks to the bit and I just love those little puppets.
01:25:45
Speaker
Uh, I gave it a three and much, I'm going to stick with a three. Um, cause I, I think originally I had given it worse, but I even came up, I even came up during the day. So I gave it a three and I originally said, I just really hated this movie, but I'll amend that a little bit and say, you know what? I do kind of like the puppets except for leech woman. So look, that does it for puppet master. We'll be right back with a movie that we are going to absolutely eviscerate called skin of a rink.
Discussion on the Film Skinamarink
01:26:15
Speaker
in this house
01:26:26
Speaker
theater
01:26:33
Speaker
and this house
01:26:44
Speaker
in this
01:26:57
Speaker
this so
01:27:10
Speaker
in this house.
01:27:13
Speaker
down got
01:27:29
Speaker
shame a oh
01:27:41
Speaker
a
01:27:52
Speaker
um All right, it's time to dink-dink and do because we're talking about skin him-a-ma-rink! Maddie, tell us all about skin-a-ma-rink. In this house, two children wake up in the middle of the night to find their father is missing, and all the windows and doors in their home have vanished.
01:28:12
Speaker
Skidamarink was written and directed by Kyle Edward Ball, produced and distributed by Shutter. Kevin is played by Lucas Paul. Kaylee is played by ah Dolly Rose Tretolt. Dad is played by Ross Paul. ah Mom is played by Jamie Hill. And the voice of the entity is played by Kyle Edward Ball.
01:28:36
Speaker
um This is released on January 13th, 2023. It's not rated. It's a hundred very long minutes um made in Canada in Edmonton, Alberta. ah The budget was 15,000 and somehow this thing made 2.1 million bucks. um Okay, so is the first viewing for each of us? um Andrew, tell me about it.
01:28:58
Speaker
Yeah, I remember when this movie came out and then shortly went to shutter. um And I remember there was a lot of Internet, a ton of Internet back and forth on this one. And so like it was it was honestly, I think it was like height of at like pandemic or maybe right after vaccines. And so the Internet was like all you could do. And so like I remember that was like but And so there was so much back and forth and so much vitriol about this movie that's why i didn't see it cuz i was like i don't wanna even see this like i wanna participate in this like and this is stupid and so like i can't just avoid it and then when you brought it up for this i was like and sure.
01:29:39
Speaker
Well, let's watch it. you know It's a couple years old now. I can i can get beyond the ah the cinematic Twitter, if you will. And um listen, I went into this with open hearts and open minds and unfortunately open eyes. And I hated it. I did not like this movie at all.
01:30:00
Speaker
i think that there's I think that there's an interesting idea in here for a 12 minute short. agreed And I think that's what it should have been. and i And I'm sorry, I don't like to eviscerate movies, but this movie was a waste of my time. I think that there are two scenes that are really good. I think the scene with the mom and dad where they're telling them to look under the bed and then the mom is there and she's like, you know,
01:30:23
Speaker
we've loved it we really love you a lot and there's something in the house i think that whole scene is really effective it is yeah and i think the ending with the face and asking ah what's your name i think is just spooky yeah but other than that this is a fucking look at the walls this is look at the walls the walls are not doing anything but look at them yeah i think the most i think the most interesting parts are when we're in the point of view of the children but I don't know which point of view of the children I'm in because they never see them. And I don't know if I'm the girl or the boy. exactly And I just don't know this one. i I hate being like this, but I really, really hated my time watching this. And this is probably
01:31:01
Speaker
one that I regret picking. But Maddie, what did you think? somewhere I mean, I mean, look, I don't think and neither of us are assholes. we We don't like we don't like, you know, I don't go into eviscerate movies. Neither of us enjoy taking things that some people like and calling it shit. That that's that's not what Andrew and I like to do.
01:31:21
Speaker
But when it is, we're going to call it out. And like look, everyone has their own ideas of of what what it what it needs to be and whatever. I got to tell you, that you i I didn't read a lot about the film when it came out. I just remember seeing a lot of people gushing over it like it was the best thing they'd ever seen in their lives.
01:31:38
Speaker
And I remember thinking, oh, OK, I had a very different idea of what this movie was going to be. I'll be very honest with you. i I didn't think it was going to be this. I thought it was going to actually be really scary. I remember people saying, God, it really scared me. It's oh, it's blah, bla bla blah, blah, blah.
01:31:54
Speaker
And so i I was almost scared to watch it myself because I was like, fuck, that might really freak me out. And, you know, this might be a movie that our listeners might think, oh, I bet Matt is going to like this one. Guess what? I didn't. I feel the exact same as Andrew. I couldn't stand it. I think um just like Andrew said, I agree. This could be 15 minutes, maybe a half hour at the most. And then, sure, it might be kind of interesting because it's a short little short and you could watch it on YouTube. And how fun. There you go. It would be spooky and weird. How about that? Neat.
01:32:23
Speaker
But instead we get treated to 100 minutes, almost two hours of literally nothing happening. Nothing. nothing And like, you know, there's a lot of people on letterbox talking about, well, if you watch it, you can piece together this and do that and do that. And I'm like, no, no, you, you really can. I mean, I suppose that you could, you can make up whatever you want for this. At the end of the day, there is no narrative. There is no plots. Nothing really happens. And at the end of it, you don't know if this was a dream. You don't know if it was real. You don't know if it was AI making this. I have no, in fact,
01:33:02
Speaker
This very well could be AI making a weird horror film. That's about what it feels like. I was saying to Andrew but you know before we started this recording, this is ah this is a movie that belongs in an art museum, right? And if you've ever been like a modern art exhibit and in any art museum out there, there's always video pieces. This is like that. And I like modern art. I love art in general. I love going to the Art Institute ah and other art museums, whatever. but Usually I skip the video parts because I think it's really dumb. I'm not going to lie.
01:33:36
Speaker
And like Andrew said, this is basically a movie that where the camera looks at a bunch of different walls, and it looks at the wall in this way, and then it looks at it upside down, and it looks at it from this angle, and then from that angle, and with this light, and with that light, and here's some Legos. That's the movie. That's it.
01:33:53
Speaker
And there are a few parts that are genuinely a little freaky. The ones that Andrew mentioned, absolutely. There's another one, I can't remember what happens because why would I? Where like the entity's voice is like, she's so she didn't do what I said and she she wanted her mom and dad, so I took her mouth away.
01:34:11
Speaker
And like that that really did kind of chill me. I was like, God, that's actually kind of fucked up. um But everything else I just thought was stupid. I just thought it was stupid. And and i i it's a bit of a Rorschach test, I suppose, but the people who really like it... Look, I'm not dogging you. I promise I'm not. I got to say though, I don't understand you. I don't understand what you found in this that I didn't find.
01:34:34
Speaker
you know I think one of the things that makes our podcast interesting for people is that, generally, Andrew and I have have you know slightly different tastes in horror films. You like a certain type, I like a certain type. Once again, this is one, and you might agree on this, Andrew, this is one that would probably fall into the Maddie category.
01:34:51
Speaker
And so if I'm saying this right now, do you know what I mean? Like, it's like, what, what the fuck happened here? I don't really get it. I don't understand. I just, I think that this is the wrong vehicle for this. Like, I think that like YouTube, YouTube could have worked just fine yeah for a 15 minute short, or like I said, put it in an art museum. That makes sense there.
01:35:10
Speaker
And like I gotta say like it's called storytelling. You have to tell a story. Sure. And I don't there's no story here. It's just a series of vignettes that you have to as a viewer piece together your own narrative. Yeah. And like Listen, if that's your bag, go for it. But like, I need a little bit more. There's nobody there's nobody to root for. I don't know who the main character is. I don't know who the entity is because you give me no clues. I thought at the beginning of this, you know, and the first 30 minutes of boredom. So sorry.
01:35:44
Speaker
I thought, man, is this um the one kid's ah dream of of of um sleepwalking? Because they talk about sleepwalking at the beginning of the movie just a little bit. like I think the dad says, and I'm going to tell you this right now, as an audio person that has to listen to audio all the time to edit this podcast, of course yeah did they record this in a cave? like what What are we doing?
01:36:10
Speaker
Well, and i I even I even read the filmmaker. He there was a quote that I saw him um say like, oh, I thought it would be really interesting. Like, you know, when you're it was something like this where like you you kind of hear people, but you need the subtitles.
01:36:24
Speaker
um Like you do need he literally said that and I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Then you have to give us all the subtitles. i mean that That's just it. And I thought about turning the subtitles on for it, but I was like, I i don't think so. um No, here he provide he provides subtitles for half of the dialogue. Yeah, exactly. It should just be for all of it.
01:36:43
Speaker
um a little ah little A little bit about this, Kyle Edward kyla would ball ah previously ran a YouTube channel called Bite Size Nightmares, so that makes sense through through which he would ask viewers to post comments about their nightmares and then the film and the and then film recreations of those nightmares. There we go.
01:37:01
Speaker
Skinner-Marik was inspired by the tropes recurrent in the most commonly submitted nightmares. The film was preceded by the proof-of-concept film Heck in 2020, which was also directed by Ball. He recalled, I'd had a nightmare when I was little. I was in my parents' house, my parents were missing, and there was a monster. And lots of people have shared this exact dream. And like, okay, good for you. yeah But like, you don't really that's not what this was. You don't tell us that. Yeah. And like, and like, you know, like you said, which is a very good point. I hadn't really thought about it. You know, there's, there's two kids. We know them because of their names, Kaylee and Kevin, but like,
01:37:40
Speaker
we don't know which perspective we're seeing at any given time. We have, we have very no idea except for the part where like obviously the ghost or whatever it is, is talking about Kaylee, like, like, and like, ah you know, in that, in that part, like like taking away her mouth, you know that they're talking to Kevin. Okay. Got it. But that's very few and far between. And I just,
01:38:01
Speaker
i don't I don't like that. And like I'm looking at other reviews on Letterboxd, like I said, and like there's a lot of people saying over and over again, like you have to you have to make your own narrative with it. That is a fucking pile of bullshit, man. that is not That is not good filmmaking. I don't have to do anything, my friend. I have to watch the story that you are telling me. That's like you were saying earlier, Andrew. I shouldn't have to make my own narrative with this unless you literally tell me that that's what I am supposed to be doing right now.
01:38:29
Speaker
and I don't really appreciate that. I think that's lazy filmmaking. I think this is somebody who is pretentious, that wants to put together a bunch of shots of walls and call it art. And I'm here to tell you, that's not how it fucking works. well and and like in And honestly, like it, like you said, if this was like a 15 minute short and you asked us to like, put the pieces together ourselves, that makes sense to me. But you give us clues in here. You say 1995, you say 572 days, you say all these things, like there's meant to be something, but there's no pay off. Like there's nothing there. So as if don't tell me to interpret shit, bitch. Just like the dates thing that I mean, this thing ends with days and it was either 527 or 572. One of those.
01:39:13
Speaker
And it's yeah we're, we're upside down in this room where there are a bunch of toys and there's like a, an old school for kids, like tape player kind of fucking thing that we all have when we were, when we were little and like it's upside down and it just says 572 days and then it fades away and then we go back and back and back and back and back from this room. That's it. I'm sorry.
01:39:38
Speaker
what the fuck are you supposed to do with that? And then after, and then after that we get a shot of a ceiling where the blood, where there's blood splatter and it's going along with a a part that happened earlier in the movie where there's kind of a repetitive shot on the yeah TV that keeps rewinding back and forth and it keeps rewinding and rewinding. And then it just goes mother.
01:39:58
Speaker
on the screen and you're like, what the fuck does that? Okay. All right. I mean, like i I think there, there are people who had an emotional reaction to this that I don't understand. Um, sure. you know i if I guess if it makes you feel something about your own childhood, I get i get it. Then, then you would probably really get into this.
01:40:17
Speaker
But you know, look, I had a weird childhood. It's frankly, so did you. This didn't make me feel anything about my childhood at all. Not a bit. And listen, as someone who has very, very vivid dreams, this ain't it girl, this ain't it. Like I'm so sorry. Like I feel bad talking bad about this movie, but why do you feel bad? Because I know someone has like put a lot into this and I know that a lot of people truly liked it.
01:40:43
Speaker
So we have to, we have to have opinions. So i know I know, I know what you're saying, but let me just say this to you. You don't need to feel bad about it. yeah You know, when, when, when filmmakers do that, look, it's not like he did it for free. He got paid for it. Right. Shutter, shut on shutter shutter, gave him money to do this. So like he he got paid for it. And like anything else, when you put it out there, it's open to criticism. And look, we're not the only horror podcast. I'm sure other people have talked about it too. And I'm sure that it probably said a lot worse than us.
01:41:10
Speaker
But look, I mean, is there really much more to share about this? I just listen at the end of the day, like I really do feel like this movie pulled out the rug from under me. Like it was sold. It was sold to me as something that was supposed to be, you know, not only scary because it's a horror movie, but also like it was supposed to be like, oh, this is going to, this is really going to make you think and really going to really give you something to think. And at the end of it, I was like,
01:41:37
Speaker
It honestly, because they up fronted all the credits, it ends on the end. And I was like, I honestly wanted to flip off the script. I was like, this is I hate this. I got to say this. This is another one for shutter where I'm just like, man, you guys need to do better. I'm not going to lie. Like, like it's it's it's so few and far between with with the shutter originals. And this is one that is just a complete. But I remember people fucking blast in their ass about this. Like I said, go on. Here, let me find a really good one right now. Here's a five-star review from Letterboxd. This is from somebody named Moon. They say, like a long poem, not for show and tell. This isn't a film to be bragged about. It's one to be consumed at your most vulnerable. Okay, got it. Let me find another one for you here. Here's one, a four-star review. I wish it wasn't so hard to verbalize appreciation for something even when it doesn't quite satisfy me.
01:42:33
Speaker
ah wow doesn't make sense i I think I want to be engaged with the analog horror and backroom element that makes this piece so unique, but I so aggressively wanted more overt symbolism that I dared to think there was something lacking. I think this film is special for even trying, my lord, and shouldn't be watched during the day. All the commentary on the abuse narratives and the way suburbia can become alien is super much interesting. And I could live in these reviews forever. This fed me well. I'm just not used to the flavor. We'll work on that.
01:43:08
Speaker
In other words, ah this is like grad school bullshit abuse. There was abuse in this movie or or here's here's, here's another one, a five star review from T it's hard to label my favorite horror movie ever. So I won't, my God. However, I will say that this is the scariest film I've ever seen in my life. It made me, it made me genuinely shutter with fear and anxiety.
01:43:33
Speaker
had to sit in shock after watching it for the first time, a very specific type of fear that you only ever remember feeling as a child. This is my lucid nightmare. So the very, very different opinions out there about this film. And there are people like us and look, there's a bunch of reviews like us on here too. It is just, it's, this is a bizarre movie. It's, it's a bizarre entry. I don't, I don't understand it. I don't get it.
01:43:59
Speaker
That's it. Yeah. Let's just rate it. Yeah. I'm going to, I'm actually going to lower my rating. I'm going to be honest. I'm giving it a two and a half. Um, and i' I'll, I'll be generous on that just because like there are some things that that we said that were actually kind of a little spooky. Um, so a two and a half for it. And I said, look, it's a hundred minutes of nothing. Make this 30 minutes. You got a deal boss.
01:44:21
Speaker
And I'll give it a three for three good scenes in the movie. There you go. I just said, what the hell was this? they were trying I get that they were trying to go for something, but it doesn't take an hour and 40 minutes to tell. Well, folks, that's our take on skin of a rink. If you don't like us for that, we're sorry, but we hope you do still love us. um Let us know if you like the movie. We'd love to hear a bit more about why, because like you can hear from us, we don't understand. We don't understand why anyone would.
01:44:48
Speaker
So listen, we'll leave it there and we'll go come back to close our episode with a game.
01:45:24
Speaker
Well folks, that was episode 137 and we're right back to give you a little game
Game Segment: 'Is it a sex toy or a real toy?'
01:45:30
Speaker
to end it. And let me tell you when it comes to a game about toys, are we ready to pervert it up? And this time it's all about, is it a sex toy or a real toy? Now, Andrew, I would say that sex toys are real toys too, but I get what you mean here. So listen, Andrew, take me through the game.
01:45:47
Speaker
All right, so I'm gonna read you just the title or what it's named. okay And you tell me if you think that this is a toy or a sexy toy. Okay, give it to me, baby. All right, so the first one is Doc Johnson's Belladonna Magic Hand. That is a sex toy. That is a sex toy, it is literally a hand. Yep, that that is, because Doc Johnson, I know that brand, uh-huh.
01:46:16
Speaker
All right, the next one is the pink diamond magic ball, the pink diamond magic ball. I'm going to say real toy. That is a sex toy. What does it do? You're going to have to look these up because it's interesting. um The next one, yeah the yodeling pickle.
01:46:40
Speaker
It's so ridiculous that I want to think that this is a sex toy. It's a sex toy. Tell me it is. This is a real toy. It is ah literally and it is literally a pickle. I got to say this. It sticks out of a jar. and you e All right. The next one is um let's see. Let's go with aqua rings.
01:47:04
Speaker
sex toy. And as a real toy, you've definitely played it. You definitely played it. It's the one where you hit the button and the little rings go up into the water and you got to get it on the little thing. I mean, it could be a sex toy though, if you really wanted it to be. All right. The next one. How about sticky hands? Real toy.
01:47:23
Speaker
That is a real toy. It's literally those things that you throw at walls. I remember those. God, those are so weird. I haven't seen them in so long. All right. The next one is a pipe dream fantasy. Oh God, please, please be a sex toy. That is not a game show. That is a sex toy. Yes. Oh, do I want that one? Is it good? It is specifically for men. So take a look. As soon as you said pipe, I got a boner right away. All right. The next one is the weasel ball.
01:47:52
Speaker
That is a real toy. Yes. That is literally that thing that goes wacky on the floor. That has has like like a raccoon tail on it kind of or whatever. Yep. And your final one is baldo. That is a real toy.
01:48:06
Speaker
That is a sex toy for your balls. Oh, for your balls. Really? What does it do specifically? Oh, you can go look it up. Tell me, what does it do? Just just tell me, tell the total listeners. I mean, it's a little bit of a contortion thing, a little bit of a fantasy thing. So does it it like, does it like bind them up? And so, you know, like I mean, he' in the weird you like I mean, do you like having your balls played with?
01:48:29
Speaker
You know, not as much as you might think, then that might not be the toy for you. Okay. Fair enough. I i do. I just think balls are so interesting. They're so, so fascinating.
Supporting the Podcast: Merchandise and Patreon
01:48:40
Speaker
Anyways folks, listen, that was a fun yeah that was a fun game and that was a fun episode. So listen,
01:48:47
Speaker
Uh, look, if you want to support Friday, the 13th, there are many ways that you can, uh, you can go over to our website at www.frygate13.com and you can either buy some merchandise from us or you can become a patron on patreon.
01:49:04
Speaker
We recommend everyone become a patron because it's really easy. And like we even tell you, like we we have some higher levels on there. We really don't even want you to do those. like We're the only podcast to say that I can guarantee you. like Just join for a dollar. That's it. like A dollar. and show Show that you but put value behind the last two hours that you listened to.
01:49:24
Speaker
and like and like Just to tell you, like literally, i did spend my entire it's it's late here in in in Dublin when we're recording this. I spent literally my entire day doing this. right my like My whole day has been doing this but this podcast. and I don't say that to make you feel bad. i I do it so that you understand like how much work Andrew and I actually put into this. You know what I mean?
01:49:45
Speaker
So like if you've got a dollar you can spare a month, send it over our way. It really helps us, number one, just break even because you know podcasts do take money to produce lots of of equipment that we have and lots of software that we have to use in order to do it. And all those things have a monthly fee on them. So you help us literally just break even. And you know every now and then, do some other cool stuff with the show. So we would really appreciate if you could do that.
01:50:10
Speaker
Yeah. And speaking of thank you to our newest patron, Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan. comes to us. I messaged him after he joined. He is listening from Kalamazoo, Michigan. So very cool. Awesome. Thank you so much. jonathan zo we We appreciate you. And you can do that by going to frag a 13.com slash support or search for us on Patreon. There you go. Um, the other way that you can support us if you can't do it monetarily, because let's face it, we're all going to be poor.
01:50:42
Speaker
is you can leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. That's right. I'm saying it again. We need you to leave a review. Come on. Let's do it. Just do it. Just do it, man. And like, you know, if you do it, if you do it, I'll stop asking for it.
01:50:57
Speaker
Yeah, and especially like on Spotify, all you gotta do is hit the fucking stars, right? That's that's a really all you have to do. So listen, if you can do those things, that that would be great. But more than anything, Andrew, especially in these trying times, what I really want all of them to go do is I want them to go out there and I want them to get slayed.