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EP 98: Pregnancy, Grief, and Giving Yourself Grace with Amanda Jones Vaughan
2.2k Plays27 days ago
This week we’re joined by the effortlessly cool Amanda Jones Vaughan for a real and refreshing conversation on motherhood, grief, style, and everything in between. Amanda opens up about choosing to have a fourth baby, how this pregnancy feels different, and what life looks like after the loss of her mom. We talk about giving ourselves grace in motherhood, especially during the hard seasons, and how to redefine self-care beyond the surface-level stuff.
We also dive into career pivots, letting go of hustle, and her ever-evolving sense of style—including what she’s loving for summer and how her approach to shopping has changed.
In this episode, we cover:
- Navigating pregnancy and grief at the same time
- The “grass is greener” trap and learning to focus on the good
- What it really looks like to take care of yourself
- Amanda’s style evolution and favorite places to shop right now
Plus, don’t forget to grab her Summer Shopping Guide: 📷Amanda Jones Vaughan - MGC Summer Picks
Link to Instagram: 📷Instagram (@amandajonesvaughan)
Link to Newsletter: 📷That Said By Amanda Jones Vaughan | Substack
Join the official Mom Group Chat Facebook group: MOM GROUP CHAT FACEBOOK GROUP
Keep up with the Moms and join the conversation on our socials:
📸 Instagram: @momgroupchat
🎵 TikTok: @momgroupchat
Questions/comments/need to vent? Email us at momgroupchat@gmail.com
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Transcript
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it.
00:00:12
Speaker
Oh, we're going to get into it.
Introduction of Amanda Jones Vaughn
00:00:14
Speaker
Hi, moms. In today's heartfelt episode, we sat down to chat with the lovely Amanda Jones Vaughn. She is a mom, fashion enthusiast, and a fun must follow on Instagram.
00:00:24
Speaker
She shares an exciting personal update with us. She's expecting baby number four.
Navigating Motherhood and Loss
00:00:29
Speaker
Amid the joy, she opens up to us about the deep grief of recently losing her mom and how the loss is shaping her journey through motherhood.
00:00:37
Speaker
With honesty and warmth, she talks about the complexities of holding both sorrow and celebration and how she's continuing to stay true to herself while raising a growing family. It is a moving conversation about finding your identity, resilience, and embracing all the new layers that come with life.
00:00:54
Speaker
We are so excited to share this episode with you guys, so please enjoy Amanda Jones Vaughn. What up, moms? I'm Whitney Williams, and I'm here with my best friend, Candice, and a very special guest, Amanda Jones Vaughn.
00:01:07
Speaker
We're so happy to have you. Thank you, guys. I'm thrilled to be here. We are have been so excited to have her. We are looking right here.
Life Transitions and Family Dynamics
00:01:18
Speaker
Hopefully, we're going to post a clip of all these gorgeous clothes behind her, to say. Yeah.
00:01:24
Speaker
um Otherwise, Amanda, please tell us about yourself and then um tell us about your family and what you do. Wonderful. Well, thank you guys so much for for having me. And to be real, for anyone listening, it took several attempts to try to lock me down, not in the way of avoiding, just in the way I wanted to say from woman to women, I was so appreciative of of not a any, you know, I just appreciate people that can roll with the punches and and reschedule and reschedule. And here we are. And I'm so happy. Always. great time to be here. um
00:01:59
Speaker
But my name is Amanda Jones Vaughn. I've kept the maiden name strong, ah you know, publicly, I guess. But I currently live in outside of Philadelphia, where I am from. we moved here after little over like 12 years in Manhattan, my husband and I. I am a mom.
00:02:20
Speaker
I have three boys that I have a five-year-old and two-and-a-half-year-old twins. And I am currently expecting number four.
00:02:31
Speaker
we're not finding it. We keep it a surprise. So whoever joins us in September, we are excited. And yeah, I'm kind of a bit of Jane of all trades, but also don't really know what to say that I do at this moment. I'm definitely in like a career limbo, I would say, that we can kind of get into more. But I've had a career or just different experiences in in marketing and branding.
00:02:57
Speaker
working in fashion, interior design, um and then have built out, dabbled um left, right into content creation and kind of lifestyle, ah social media, whatever people are saying it is that that world is. I've explored that and have kind of, ah again, have had two steps forward, one step back into that and continue to. um I have created a sub stack and I'm working on that. I'm a talker, so I could babble on.
00:03:28
Speaker
So just keep me at bay.
Balancing Career and Motherhood
00:03:31
Speaker
No, that's perfect. I mean, one of the pros of all the rescheduling is that we can talk about your pregnancy announcement. We were insiders. We had inside information.
00:03:45
Speaker
um Well, we're so excited to have you here and to dive into all the things like i It sounds like you have so much going on and it's one of the reasons we were so excited to talk with you because we know how crazy life can be like as a mom and to watch you from afar, like look so fabulous, have like, you know, this beautiful family, bustling businesses, all of those things. Like we are just in awe of you and have been fans and followers for so long. So we're excited to hear all the things.
00:04:21
Speaker
Thank you. I mean, and also it's always rose colored glasses for, for any situation, but I, I so appreciate it. And, you know, I've been, um I feel like I forget the first time we connected, but I've listened to several of your episodes and I love any podcast. I mean, you guys are just very real and can go in different directions and I appreciate that. And there's a lot of, ah there's deep stuff and then there's fun stuff. And I,
00:04:45
Speaker
i And it's also like the podcast world in general, I've always, it's it's in the back, it's one of those ideas in the back of my head, not idea, just a yearning for. So I always, I just have to give kudos to whoever is doing it because it is it is no small feat, especially just the production of it and what goes into everything before and after the actual recording. So just big...
00:05:05
Speaker
Wow. You're so kind. And also I feel like you'd be amazing at it. And really the key is consistency. Like, right yeah, honestly, like we talk every day anyway. So it's like, all right, let's put a mic in front of me, you know?
00:05:19
Speaker
Yeah. and Yeah. I love it. So there was a lot to unpack. You were in New York for a really long time. And I mean, like we said, we've been followers for a long time. And I know that JJ got to grow up a little bit in New York. And I was telling Candace, I was like, I think it's so interesting, like how they all ride scooters around there.
00:05:39
Speaker
Oh, yeah. And it's been so funny to have my twins. We left the city when my twins were like so six, seven months old or so. So they didn't really hit that that stride with that. And they like they're two and a half and they're they're just getting going on that.
00:05:58
Speaker
And also like every kid is different. So who's to say? you know But JJ was like popping wheelies Very early. Also that environment you're just used to, even with like, I always like in a joking matter, but I'm like, damn, our kids are so soft these days because they're in and out of car seats and they're just, we're in the city. It's like, you are walking, maybe you're in the stroller, but it's just, that's how you're, you're getting everywhere. And so it's in their mindset that if they're going to a place, they're walking, they're scootering,
00:06:25
Speaker
um And i I loved it. And it's, you know, obviously every new place has it its benefits and things things you miss about the past. But the scooter life, that that's, I was so glad that we, to anyone that is like, you know, i i commend people that do it with multiple kids, like from variety of different reasons and financially and space-wise and everything.
00:06:49
Speaker
Um, but having, uh, have especially, and we waited a little bit before having the twins. So we really had this time, um, with him. And then also just like looking back, you're like, Oh my God, one kid, like it's, it's all hard no matter what phase you're in. But looking back, that was just such a fun, fun time to have a city kid and be city parents and everything like that.
00:07:10
Speaker
know I am a former NYC nanny, actually. Oh my gosh. Yeah. ah Oh my God. I love that world. It's crazy. Um, but so I also like had a scooter time, obviously like with not my own child, but with the little girl I nannied for.
00:07:30
Speaker
And it is, I remember when Whitney mentioned that to me about you, I was like, oh yeah, that's how every child gets around in the city. schools And it's just strollers and scooters and like, it's a really cool. And like, I have to say like growing up or like in college, you know, you have your friends that are sit like the city,
00:07:46
Speaker
Like grew up in the city and you just have a view of it, whether it be Gossip Girl or whatever. But, you know, you're like, they don't have backyards. They this. And then you realize, like, they are so resilient because they were totally navigating streets. Like the way my twins don't know how to stop at the end of a street. Oh, yeah. They're just like, they need a lot of like survival skills. Or like, I think these city kids, like, you know that you have to like get to Central Park to have that's your your backyard or navigating different things. But it is, um yeah, it's a very cool upbringing. And then there's obviously so many benefits to being outside of the city too. But we definitely, yeah we definitely weren't ready to leave. We were a bit more pushed in certain ways that I will always appreciate that
Impact of Environment on Identity
00:08:30
Speaker
time.
00:08:31
Speaker
No, I kind of had the same situation. I was living in Rhode Island. And then when I got pregnant, I'm from Tennessee. And when I got pregnant, I was like, I probably should move back. And then I just like got stuck in the burbs. And it was like a shock. I don't know if it was just having that first kid going zero to one, it being like my whole world got flipped upside down, or maybe it was just like, I wasn't used to the burb life. I was used to walking to the coffee shop and used to being able to go to my local pub or whatever. And I was like,
00:09:00
Speaker
It's all gone. it kind of It's definitely, and everyone's different. Like we have friends that, you know, you have a friend who's like, I could never do this city. And like, they've wanted to be in that suburban life forever. And that's, there's so much beauty in that. And then people that are like, I can never leave this city. So it's, it's, it's interesting for me. Like we,
00:09:19
Speaker
When we left, it there's also just so much. Like, anyone, there's going transition no matter what. When you're leaving and, you know, you have kids. and it's And we also, like, we had the most amazing nanny that is still in our lives today in the city. We went from, like, nanny care to, like, then we're, like, dropping kids off at daycare, picking them up. Like, it was just such a ah shock a lifestyle shock for us. um Not, like, just wrapping our head around a lot of that. While coming with benefits of we're in a rental right now. But, like, we have a little...
00:09:48
Speaker
backyard and things like that, that I can open the back door. um But then like my mom, my mom passed two weeks into us living here. So it's not only like, oh gosh been, you know, a ah line in the sand of like city life versus suburban life, but also like,
00:10:04
Speaker
my life before like is stands for so much of a different time than so. Like I, when I talk, you know, when I'm just chatting with friends or whatever, how I'm doing it, it's just an interesting thing to like, and, you know, can dive in deep into my therapy sessions, but it's like, it's so interesting that everyone will navigate like an adjustment. And then um we just had an even bigger like life adjustment that yeah just happened to time up.
00:10:30
Speaker
with that. So it's hard to be like, what do I like about like the suburbs? Or what am I have a hard time? Is it really like, is it really just that wish my life was what it was, you know, so it's not to really take a left turn to that. But i totally agreed it's really interesting how, ah you know, different things can impact a change and everything.
00:10:52
Speaker
No, I totally agree. I tell my husband this all the time. I'm like, are we mourning the life that we had and we left there? or it would have been completely different if we stayed there with the kids. Like, I'm just like, we're fantasizing about. It's always greener. Like I remember being like, oh my gosh, JJ needs fricking room to throw a ball. Like he needs, you know, there's certain things that we like, we're totally dying to to get that we have here. And, um, it's, um,
00:11:18
Speaker
It's, you know, it's always perspective. And we're, we're, we have so much joy and happiness where we are. um But it is always just interesting to reflect on like, you know, what, ah what is what I didn't realize you're in outside Philly.
00:11:33
Speaker
Sorry. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. We, we, I grew up here and, um, And where I am it also to kind of that conversation, like where our rental is, like we are in a place where I can walk to certain places and things like that. I'm not walking to school. i'm not walking to things like that. But there is a lot of walkability, which is which is really, really nice.
00:11:55
Speaker
um But yeah, it's been it's been fun and interesting to be back where, you know, seeing people I grew up with, with a lot of dear friends that... I grew up with and um having family nearby, especially during a time when it was um so so necessary and and needed. So yeah.
00:12:12
Speaker
does JJ remember the city life? Like, does he ever mention it or talk about it? Or is it like, like right in the beginning, he totally did. And then he'll more through like us talking. be like, Oh yeah. And I'm like, you, and then we like go back to visit cousins. He has no damn clue. And like, it was, like I was like sending a video to my husband. Cause like we were back and he was like, she with deer in headlights stirring. And I'm like, you know this, this is you. And I'm like, ah No, it's like, it's, he doesn't, he was, you know, ages zero to three and a half, you know, and like, it's, you're so, and and that's like such a testament to like when you're parenting or anything. It's like, they're so little, like, it's still such a good time.
00:12:55
Speaker
But thankfully, like we have family still there. We're there all the time for work and different things. So we try to get him there as much as possible. um But yeah, not, not in the way that like in our memory, like we think he's a city, like he was there for three years. It's like, city slika yeah. Yeah. Too cute.
00:13:13
Speaker
um How did you meet your husband? Like, was it in New York? Was it in college? We actually met in Florence. um we Which sounds so snazzy, like when I rolled. How romantic.
00:13:25
Speaker
Yeah, as one does. But no, we were both um ah doing like a summer study abroad program. Wow. And um had like had mutual friends and met over when we were both there, like heading into...
00:13:41
Speaker
Oh my God, this is every girl's dream. Literally, it's like, oh my gosh, I'm going to go to Europe and I'm going to meet my husband. The joke would be like, I went all the way yeah Italy to find like a a Jersey, like Irish Catholic kid that plays the podcast. We were like, um I was really stretching out of my zone or my type, frankly. But um yeah no we met we met there and it was more of just like, you know, the craziness of of being abroad, friendship and just like all going out as a group.
00:14:10
Speaker
um But and then we were still, you know, had two years of college, but it was kind of like the over winter break would happen to be, oh, are you in new York? Oh, I'll be in New York and like go on a date that was kind of slowly more intentional as time went on. And then i love that dating um dating ah right after we graduated.
00:14:30
Speaker
Oh, amazing. Did you, you went to, where'd you go to college? like um I went to Duke. Yeah. Okay. That's where I was like, I remember Shannon having a connection somehow, like the she had a mutual friend. Yeah. it's like.
00:14:44
Speaker
Everyone knows number everyone. as yeah Yeah. But yes, yeah went I went there. I i i went there um obviously for academics, but was i played lacrosse. um So my college is kind of like curated through that recruiting process and had the best time. It's still such a ah major part of my life. And um the lacrosse team and the coach and and my um teammates are my my best friends. So it was a wonderful experience.
00:15:11
Speaker
Oh my gosh. That's so cool. Are your, but are any of your, I mean, I know your little ones are still little, but is JJ in lacrosse or is that like in the cards? where My husband played lacrosse. We're like such a serious, low key, but not low key, like totally like stick in his hands. And like, we're, we both are,
00:15:29
Speaker
athletic and it and I think you know you it's so you know as you have other kids you kind of feel like every kid is so different we have definitely a lot of like male energy in our house and I grew up with brothers so it's something I'm used to but yeah there's a lot of sports happening and balls and and lacrosse sticks and all sorts of of things so fun that makes you like really cool when you're like yeah you're gonna be like such a cool like you're a cool boy mom how dare you I mean, if I don't have a girl, we were like, we're kind of going into it either way. But like, I clearly have, I need some good daughter-in-laws or some fabulous son-in-laws, whatever way we go. But I have a lot of other female energy I'd like to give somewhere.
00:16:13
Speaker
for right now, I'm all in on the on the boy mom. No, thought you. That's so funny. We um actually have weirdly spent a lot of time at lacrosse games here. So one of our, like our closest couple friends here, he is now the head coach of the women's lacrosse team at USF, which is like a new program. Amazing. we've been supporting him and going to the women's lacrosse games and they are so so badass like they're so good and there's so much better than i would like it's it's a safe like i don't think i could have gotten into duke i couldn't like the athletes these days everything like just they just start so much younger and like the the care like i could i joke with my coach like she had to like beg to get us to not eat like i think i went into college i white friends all the time yeah feel kids so healthy these days
00:17:02
Speaker
Yeah. feel like grew up on smoothies and probably to an extent that's like, you know, concerning in a different way. But I, yeah but yeah, like the, i feel like the culture and generally is wellness culture is so big. Yeah. And they're just like, my friends and I are like, damn, they're so good. Like, i' like oh you're not eating Taco Bell at three a m Yeah.
00:17:22
Speaker
Can't relate. Hell, did that last week. you always know that you wanted like a bigger family? Like was four always in the cards or was this surprise? How was that? Yeah. did you always know that you wanted like a bigger family like was four always in the cards or was this a surprise how how was that I think it's a mix. I think like i i I knew what I knew. So I grew but I'm one of three. So I always kind of, but I also, i don't know if it came from like self-doubt or being always wanting to be realistic that I'm like, I don't know if I'm going to good mom. I don't know if it's going to be overwhelming. I think like having grace on myself being like, let's see where it goes.
00:17:59
Speaker
um My husband's one of four. so it was kind of like, and we have, we both have massive extended families. Like my mom's one of seven. My dad's one of six on his side. So it's Irish Catholic. Yeah, exactly. Like just, I'm also so Irish Catholic. so birth control There is a lot of cousins, stuff which we grew up with and valued so much.
00:18:19
Speaker
But I also kind of went into it being like, I just, I want to, I know that like, I think I had enough awareness or older cousins and family that like, I wanted to make sure that whatever we were doing, it was good on me and my health. Cause I knew generally that that's how families and children thrive the most. So I kind of was like, let's see how one goes. Let's see how two. Like I always, I think I envisioned having more than one.
00:18:44
Speaker
And then when we had the twins or even when I was pregnant with the twins, I was like, I don't feel like this is it. um but But there's also several days where i was like, I can't even handle one. I don't know. I'm not a female. I don't know who thinks that I should be in charge of all of this. So it's it's a lot of back and forth, but in general, we were really excited to um to continue to kind of, to grow the crew and, and you know, it it is it's wild and like bedtime last night, like broke my soul, but then today I'm like, is lovely, give me more. So it's it's a lot of a lot of that as I feel like a lot of women navigate. Yeah. It's always like a moment by moment thing. Like I even, you know, I have two girls, so different energy, but still crazy.
00:19:31
Speaker
and like, I am truly, I keep saying like, I'm just truly completely undecided about if we're going to have more. I just can't. It's like every moment it changes. yeah Like we took the girls to Disney last week and that whole trip, i was like, we can never bring another. Like I can never have another. And then there are moments like, you know, this morning where things were lovely and I was drinking my coffee and watching them play. And I was like, we can have another.
00:19:53
Speaker
Let's get pregnant. You do that art project for like the first three minutes and you're like, this, am mother earth and I can do anything. And then like a minute later, you're like, never, never again. Yeah. I tell my friends, like I, envy the women who have such conviction or even just such like calmness heading and handling the chaos. I like, maybe I would say like,
00:20:15
Speaker
90% of the time can be that, but then there's so much time where it's like, it's not. And I am totally spiraling for not the, you know, gentle mother or anything like that. But there's been like an underlining of like underlying, like yearning for, to have this big family. And I, I credit so much to it, to my husband, because he,
00:20:36
Speaker
I am so lucky to have him as he is steady Eddie and a rock and like, and also can be like, this is their feral. This is crazy. But he also like, if I'm spiraling, he doesn't spiral more. yeah keeps me. What's that like?
00:20:52
Speaker
I'm switched in my house. My husband is a ruler and I'm probably the steady Eddie, honestly. Steady, buddy. Adapt to our situations. I guess certain points probably I should develop a little more resilience because I do have that to depend on. And I i have friends and family that are in those situations that ah there's benefits to both, I would say. um But it definitely has helped me through ah certain situations where I would have been like, I'm out. Nope, this is not. i can't do that. Yeah.
00:21:24
Speaker
Yeah, totally I was two and done. ah yeah We had Margo. So I have a son and a daughter. Yeah. And we had her like two August ago. She'll be two in August. And by December, he was snipped. I was like, all go it Yeah. like it Yeah, it's amazing.
Career Shifts and Personal Growth
00:21:42
Speaker
Um, but not to pivot, but I do want to hear a little bit of career situation because you brought up that that's a moving part. So I'm curious what's going on. Um, more so just that, I don't know, like it's, there is, you know, and it's weird cause I try to give myself grace cause I know so many people go through things and like, they don't have the privilege to have time to navigate or to take time off or to,
00:22:08
Speaker
just be like, I don't know, I'm figuring it out. And I i am so lucky to, I guess, have had the this this space and time to get hit hard with, you know, losing my mom and navigating that and like generally taking off time from a lot of work projects that were happening or just work responsibilities. And it hasn't come without, you know, like we'd like to buy a house, we're doing things, but like all of a sudden and going from a two income family to a 1.25 or whatever. You know, so it's, but in general, like I, you know, had, I had been working full time for over the moon, which is the company that I was working for the past, you know, three, some years and had gone into, um,
00:22:51
Speaker
ah Last year, i had had the twins, we moved and the founder, Alexander Macon, is a dear friend and wonderful boss and we had kind of navigated like i want to be I want to be in, I can't be quite in as much as my past role was but what does this look like and we kind of came to a more consulting role that felt good.
00:23:13
Speaker
And then I was taking on other consulting projects. I had you know the sub stack brewing. I had content creation kind of in a good groove. So it was not quite this you know same in terms of paycheck, but it was kind of it had the promise and the steps to going. And then my mom passed two weeks after I signed that kind consulting contract with over the moon and had all these other projects lined. And it kind of just was a big explosion for me. And like, I, again, I just have so much, uh, I'm so appreciative and like recognize my privilege and like that I was able to take like a few months off and like, just focus on keeping my head above water and my family moving. Um,
00:23:55
Speaker
And, you know, over the moon has stayed consistent, probably smaller than it originally was with the consulting, but I've been doing that um sometimes more publicly, sometimes more behind the scenes with helping with um more like, yeah, behind the scenes company growth and and ideas. Yeah.
00:24:11
Speaker
And then, yeah, it's been two steps forward, one step back. I started the Substack. It was like amazing. And then, you know, and little things and big things, you know, just hit you. And, you know, whether it's not like the week you're getting everything done is the week everyone gets sick. And then, you know, it takes two weeks. Oh, don't I know it.
00:24:29
Speaker
like We know it. Yeah. and and and it And it is like part of me is like every woman's dealing with this. Why can't I like get my ass together and like do it? And part of me is like i think for the first time or for a time when I, you know, as women especially, but like as someone who generally was – more of a perfectionist had so much drive. Like I always kind of, I always took care of myself, but I don't think it's such a deeper level. it was like, I'm getting a facial, I'm getting massage, I'm doing this. yeah But like, I still am going, going, going. I have goals. I have, you know, responsibilities. And I also want these things.
00:25:06
Speaker
And for the first time i took a step back and was like, I'm going to focus on getting myself through this and, but also like not just getting through it, like helping myself with and through it. And then also just like, we are navigating this new lifestyle and world and like my kids and my, like my twins weren't even one yet. So it was, um,
00:25:28
Speaker
It was like juggling all the things. And then I was just like, you know, i will do what I can with work, but I'm going to try and get like these other things. And it's not like I was excelling at motherhood or anything like that, but it really was just like a I've taken a step back.
00:25:46
Speaker
And I'm going to focus on this and this can return. um And it's it's hard because there was momentum there. There was opportunities there. And then like when I started the subset, there's been kind of a I'm ready. And then you get hit again. um and I'm still kind of in that. And, you know, I there's not to say there's not things that I'm working on that are filling my cup that.
00:26:07
Speaker
sometimes see the light of day and sometimes don't, especially in the social media world where like yeah consistency is key and there's certain things that I can get hard on myself. And then there's times where I'm like, hey, you've done so much work on yourself.
00:26:21
Speaker
You are getting your family through it, even if there's days where you're like, you're not. um But the career the career thing has definitely been not on the back burner. It's just taking a little, it's not had like the exact full focus that it has and that I ideally like would want it to be.
00:26:39
Speaker
Yeah. I relate to everything you're saying, like so on such a deep level. And if you've listened to some of our show, like, you know, we had a third yeah um co-host, Shannon, who passed away. It'll be two years two years in November. And i mean, sometimes it takes like it takes these like earth shattering, grief moments like, snowballs to kind of kick up everything you know about yourself and your life and makes you take a step back and kind of reevaluate, like, what does actually need to be taken care of and how do I need to be taking care of myself differently to just, like, get me through today.
00:27:22
Speaker
hi i relate to everything you're saying, like, so intensely. um After Shannon Pat, like, I own my own business, so – i like I don't have, it's, it's a double-edged sword. It's like, yes, I don't have like a company that's like, when are you coming back?
00:27:37
Speaker
But also like, if I'm not working, I'm not making any money. You know what I mean? So I don't know. It's, I feel so – I hate saying this because, like, obviously I would never, ever wish for anything like that to happen. But I'm grateful for what going through the grief and, like, managing that as a mom and as, like, an entrepreneur has taught me.
00:28:00
Speaker
and Because it's taught me that, like, nothing is as important as taking care of myself and being present with my family. And it's taught me also how to give myself a lot of grace in these moments of – like darkness or stress or sadness. It's like, sometimes you just like sending that email is not that, it's not as important as crying on my couch today. It's just not like, so. Yeah. And I, and there's so much that like, like even the things that are not, you know, that you're not like, okay, that's not breaking. Like they they're not the most important things, but like I was saying to Kevin, there like, I don't think I've sent a thank you note or like,
00:28:40
Speaker
I haven't had i would have this exact combo with my husband, like certain things that like, aren't, you know, the end of the world, but it's, it's what I, it's, it is how I bet what I value and how I operate in certain things, just going the extra mile for a friend, checking in on your friend, like so many things that people were doing for me that i I, have not done or showed up in the way that I like to not, not in like a forcing way. Cause I think there's such a,
00:29:05
Speaker
ah conversation around like women are martyrs. They do too much. It's like, it's not that it's just, I get joy out of that. And I, I, it means something for me to show up for my friends or show to, for my kids in certain ways. Like, even though I said that I kind of took a sidestep and like needed to get my family through, it's not like I'm making all the magic that I've always envisioned of. And I'm, I'm doing the, the, the fun, magical things. I'm just getting by. Yeah. And I also have the the hope and the general understanding that like my kids don't need a ton. They need me and they need a healthy me.
00:29:35
Speaker
They don't even like we talk about our certain current living situation. Like they don't need a huge backyard. They need a patch of grass and some balls and they're going happy. And it's the same. I like to tell myself with certain things, but when I'm not in the best place that I'm not, you know,
00:29:50
Speaker
all there, that's where the relationship struggle. But with the, you know, the friend stuff or things like I have to have the hope and, and, you know, I'm grateful for the grace that my friends have given. Cause like, I have not shown up in the way that I, that I like to for them in the past year and a half. And like, you know, there's, there's times where I am and there's times that I'm,
00:30:08
Speaker
not. And like, it's back, back to like college Amanda or like right out of college Amanda. Like I had the FOMO, I was going to the party. If I get the last minute, tech like all those things that yeah are not the worst, like sometimes they're fun and there there's something for it, but it's, it's been really nice. As you said, like, you're not grateful that this thing happened, but for what has happened after what you've done with it, like it has like opened me up and softened me in certain ways of like,
00:30:35
Speaker
you know, certain dishes and saying no is a full sentence. Like no to yourself in certain ways is a full sentence for certain things. And it, um I'm still learning about it. And there's certain things I'm not doing well and certain things I need to do. And there's certain things where like, I do need to be like, get your ass dressed and get to that say yes to the friend's dinner or say yes to this or that. and you know Being on the couch might be the healthiest thing for you, but you never know what that conversation or whatever will actually also bring to you. So I'm now in that stage where it's like, sometimes you do have to do the thing that feels a little uncomfortable or hard. Cause I've been in this, like, I think what, like Sex and the City, the the um the reboot, there was like a time where it's like, oh, you're in your cocoon phase. Which is a culture your reference that I don't, but like, I just remember watching that being like, I kind of feel like I have. Yeah.
00:31:24
Speaker
And now I'm kind of in a little bit of ah of a mix of like knowing what's right, healthy for me, but also knowing when I can push myself a little bit. Yeah. I feel like you're doing such a good job navigating all that. And like, I appreciate you sharing all that.
00:31:40
Speaker
ah Just being someone like looking from the outside, which I know we always say like Instagram is what it is, but you, to me, look like you still have it all together. Yeah.
00:31:54
Speaker
Like, you're still so fabulous. You still are going to all the fun things you're doing, like, all the fun shopping in the vintage shops. I'm like, she's, she's so fun. So i mean, from the outside, it looks like you've got it going on, even though you feel like you're not hitting every single stride.
00:32:11
Speaker
um I mean, you're amazing. yeah Yeah, back at you guys. And it's all and that's you. And sometimes you personally need to look back and be like, hey, you are like doing this and that and like you like take, you know, pride in what you are, the wins and certain things that you view that you're not doing. So I appreciate You say that I had a friend the other day who I went to like an event in New York and she was like, I had kind of expressed similar. I was just like, I'm in a limbo. i don't know. And, you know, you are in conversations and I have so much.
00:32:41
Speaker
I'm so proud of what my friends are doing, what people out there are doing that i i think I'm in a and a good enough place in my life and season of life where like I have.
Fashion and Self-Expression
00:32:50
Speaker
I know my path and my lane and I'm, ah I'm okay. And so supportive and and a cheerleader for what other people are doing. yeah It might be, there might be something that I'm yearning to do that someone's doing, but I still, I'm like, hell yeah, go for it. Also. Cause I think um when you go through something, like I've had different things I've navigated. I've had the privilege of having a wonderful relationship.
00:33:10
Speaker
comfortable life. And when you go through something like this, you just, it's a reminder that everyone is dealing with something. And whenever someone has a big win or ah launching something or doing something, you're just like, hell yeah. Because I know something somewhere you've dealt with or you are dealing with or or whatever. But I was at this event just being like, I'm in a limbo and, you know, talking to so-and-so and she has this new job and this person's launching this and this. And, you know, i wasn't upset, but I was just like, I don't have any of that to deliver to you guys right now to to say that. And she had texted me later being like, you're standing there like smiling and navigating all of this.
00:33:46
Speaker
And, you know, you listed three things you're working on and that's amazing. And it's, um, And it's a good reminder to yourself and also a reminder to like speak your, like she was like, I'm trying to, to say what I feel. And that's always something that I'm trying to be better about of like telling other women, telling anyone, just like whether you've made like a, you know, you're trying to teach your, your kids, like admit when you made a mistake or I try to say when I've made a mistake and apologize. But also like, I always tell them like when someone you, when you love someone or like when someone like, oh you the great tell them. um
00:34:17
Speaker
So I feel like I've just brought you guys in a round of circles, but yeah No, I actually like love that game with my friends. yeah We all all go around and say what our favorite thing is about each other. And it's like, okay, now I just feel amazing.
00:34:30
Speaker
Right. Yeah. it's It's so needed. It's not that new Amy Polar. It's not new to me, but like I've listen i've dived into the Amy Polar podcast, which is such also just such a like, lovely listen. it's it is. It's so good. It's just like hysterical. But I love what he does. They're like talking behind people's back, but in a good way before had like friends or like the the bra the moms on and talking about their daughter. But like it's like i we should we should come with a way how everyone does that every once in a while for their friends. So true.
00:35:00
Speaker
The other thing I was going to say is this is everything you mentioned about like, oh, I'm not showing up for my friends, how I like I wish I could be and all of that. That's a conversation my husband and I have had a lot.
00:35:11
Speaker
We flooded in the storms last year and lost our house and we had so many friends show up for us in such amazing ways that like both him and I have had moments of like, how are we ever going to repay And I don't even mean monetarily. I just mean like show up for people the way they've shown up for us in the past year.
00:35:28
Speaker
And we just had this moment of being like, listen, we just have went, we were in the valley of life for a moment. And like, there's going to be a moment where we're on the mountain and someone else around us like inevitably is going to be in the valley. And there's going to be opportunities for us to show up for our friends and loved ones in all different phases of our life. And yeah,
00:35:50
Speaker
It's just, I don't know. It's a reminder that like there's a season for everything and that if you're in a low season, like it's okay to accept the help and like smile and like know that whenever there is an opportunity for you to show up for someone else, like you're going to be able to do that. And it's not, no one's keeping score. That's the other thing. Like our therapist had told us, like No one's, no one helped you because they expect anything in return. Like you want it they're helping. Yeah. They're helping you because they love you and you would do the same. Like you're not, when your friends are going through something or they need extra grace or whatever, like they're not, you're not giving it to them because you remember exactly, but it will be, you're doing it because you love them.
00:36:32
Speaker
So. ah Yeah. And it's also like a reminder of like everyone deals with something and the way that they receive, like, I feel like I had so many friends that, they didn't know how to help, you know, with like what to say or what not to say.
00:36:45
Speaker
And I would admit to like my husband or like my sister-in-laws, I was like, sometimes someone will say something and I will want to bite their head off. And then this i same thing could be said from a stranger or from like a different person in my life. And I could be like, thank you. Like that, like receive it so well.
00:37:01
Speaker
And sometimes it's situational. Sometimes you just needed it to hear five days later than not on that day. Sometimes it is, it's is usually more to do with you than with, with them. But it also is like a lesson on like, when you're trying to help someone just help them, but also don't expect them to to be like, Oh my God, you're the best. Like it's, I don't know. It's, it's like, I try to navigate friends that are dealing with infertility like anything. And like, sometimes there's just nothing you you won't be right. You won't be right with how you help, but it will be that you helped in some way or you tried to, or that you were there.
00:37:36
Speaker
And it's like the text of like, you don't need to respond, but I love you. totally I'm sorry. um And it's like, and it's just humility of like, you're going to try to help someone and it could not land. And it could just people mourn differently. People navigate hardship differently, all of that.
00:37:53
Speaker
And you just have to like have enough confidence in yourself and like, where it's coming from that like, you're just going to try and help or be there, but don't expect it to be fireworks of like gratitude or impact. And it's just like, that's how it is. But I remember everyone that has helped or said something or was there in any way. It's just, it it really is like the effort that the counts. Sometimes it takes a little time to appreciate certain efforts because you're just in the thick of it. And sometimes there's anger or whatever, but it's yeah.
00:38:22
Speaker
Yeah. It's kind of like Candace and Disney having expectations there. I had seen some clips about it. Yeah. I had to go on stories and be like, it's not negative, okay? This episode is positive. It was magical.
00:38:40
Speaker
Sometimes the funny negative stuff is just the best thing to clip, you know? Oh my god totally. And it's so hard when you're in this world where like there's like 30 different people bringing their kids to Disney and it's like, we had the best time.
00:38:53
Speaker
It's hard not to be like- It's like but one thing about us is- were We're always going to keep it real on this show. So I'm going to tell you what sucked about Disney. Like I just am. like I want to hear that. I want to hear that. You're like how to skip the line. And I, but I also want to hear like, this was a win, but also it might not be your daughter or whatever, but yeah, exactly. You saying it was hot right off the bat. I'm out.
00:39:16
Speaker
I'm out. Yeah. Sorry. That's a no for me. It is so warm here already. funny. um I want to talk about the clothes behind you, the clothes in your life.
00:39:29
Speaker
Like what ails you? What is your passion? Tell us all about it. Yeah. I mean, I definitely have been like a ah fan of fashion and um appreciative of that world from the start. i I think, you know, I got it from my mama. She was,
00:39:45
Speaker
an incredible, it just had incredible taste, just knew how to dress. Didn't come from like a ton of means, but she knew how to navigate that, that, you know, sales rack. She knew how to make something out of nothing.
00:39:56
Speaker
And then just also had just a love for getting dressed. Like we always joked, like not in a way where it was like we were forced, but like we were, we had our plain outfits. We, we knew how we took pride in how we presented ourselves and got dressed in, in a healthy way. It's like hard not to make that sound like had to, but it was just something that we all, it was fun. Um, and, um, but yeah, this is like, I'm in the middle of a closet sale or prepping for a closet sale. So stay tuned. Oh my gosh, I'll be there.
00:40:27
Speaker
um But it is, it is't talk about like transitions back from when we started, but like my life in New York and life here is completely different in how I get dressed and how, and obviously not to keep bringing this, but like, you know, you go through, like I was in workout clothes and pajamas for a good amount of time and still am.
00:40:43
Speaker
So it went from like, in this city, there's obviously a certain energy, but also there was just, even if I was working from home, you're still going to pick someone up and there's just still, and not that like I got dressed all the time, but there was just more opportunity.
00:40:57
Speaker
and like, it was just there to kind of have fun with how you get dressed. And I know, You know, so many people do that and outside of a city. But for me, it was such a it's been such a thing to navigate of like, oh, I'm not I'm not wearing this crazy vintage piece. And I know I could, but there's certain things where like my closet needs an adjustment of like what I want to do.
00:41:17
Speaker
save um what I can, you know, I'm no longer serves me cause I'm not needing it. And then like, what are the, what are the pieces that like I'm wearing consistently? And and that looks different now um than it does living, living in a city. But yeah, I love, I mean, i haven't been shy about my, my love for vintage, my love for something that just feels different, whether that means a poppy print, like a punchy print or,
00:41:43
Speaker
um lots of color um and i just i just love like how women get dressed and as much as there's a this is an era of like there's a lot of the same out there and there's a lot of like people just copying what other people are wearing but i also like if that makes you feel good and like like i never want to yuck someone's yum like when people are like what's a trend you hate or something it's like i don't know that could be something that someone finds so much joy in yeah Yeah. do Or like they feel confident in it, then the hell yeah. Like it's not for me, but like I'm all for it. There's things that I'm not going to try. There's things that I'm not going to wear or invest in But I just think that like the whole, hopefully the whole point of fashion and getting dressed is that it makes you feel good and it brings you joy, whether it's super quirky or it's something that like all of you and your friends are are wearing. And that's something that you...
00:42:32
Speaker
feel good about. um But I've always leaned towards like wanting to feel something that's different, something that you know no one necessarily has. I'm also kind of heading into more of a stage of like continuing to invest in those pieces that are going to last me and pieces that... you know how do you How do you dip your toe in something that's a little more fun and frivolous or now being pregnant? What how am I going to, I need clothes to wear. Like I try to wear as much as I can for my closet, but there's certain times that you do need to buy something that is, um you know, just needs to get you through the day or the, or the week.
00:43:06
Speaker
um But you know, what is, what is worth investing now and buying a shopping a lot less um for the most part, my husband probably disagreed, but I, yeah there's just a a lot more intention than, than it was in college and post-college. Yeah. Yeah.
00:43:23
Speaker
I feel that right now. I feel like I'm entering that era and I i had this moment or there's a mother daughter duo I follow on TikTok and Instagram. I feel like you guys have probably seen them. The mom like worked in fashion for like 20 years and now she has a daughter in her like early 20s and it's it'll be like the whole shtick of their videos is like my mom will dress like her mom will dress her.
00:43:46
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. yeah I think her name's Julia. I don't know. But um I had this moment of like, I have nothing to pass down to my daughters. Like have two girls. Like I am not – I typically am like not – I mean I like fashion and I like dressing, but I have definitely fallen into like the slopes of like fast fashion and like Amazon and just like, you know, quick buying.
00:44:09
Speaker
And I just at this moment of being like, wow, I really want to be more intentional going into this. Like I'll be 35 this year, going into this next phase of my life. Like I want to be able to buy some pieces that I can pass down to my girls and just be more intentional about things.
00:44:25
Speaker
I need help though. you do, do you consult? i I was, I was. And that's one of the things that's on the back burner. But yeah, and it's so hard because it's like, I love a good Zara find and there's i love you know there's certain things, but um I think certain times, and especially like I have a lot of clothes, whether they've been gifted to me, whether I've worked at jobs where I've had insanely good discounts and you just can't turn it down or you know like there's certain things, but I'm definitely in a place, especially if we potentially you know move and stuff like I wanna like,
00:44:56
Speaker
it sometimes it's overwhelming. And as a mom and a certain things, you just want things that work and and fit. And sometimes that is something that you're getting from Zara and it feels but fresh and new. And I have certain Zara pieces that I've had for like a decade. It is.
00:45:12
Speaker
um And they also some of my investment pieces are pieces that are like a 70s, you know, beautiful beaded ball gown. I'm not wearing it every day. So it's like kind of a give and take with like what's working for your everyday and what are you saving for your future, you know, daughters, daughter-in-laws, whatever comes my way. But, but yeah, it's, it's just so, as much as there's days where I'm like, I need minimalism, I need like nothing at all. And then they're like, this brings me joy. Like, totally. like I think social, like,
00:45:44
Speaker
content creation and and linking and like this subsequent stuff was filling is and was filling my cup because it's like, I don't need to buy everything, but I love sharing what I'm finding. And I love like that, that might be something that someone's been waiting for to invest in or yeah perfect piece. So it's like everyone's closet and his current situation is different. So that is what's kind of fun about that world. The way I approach it is trying to,
00:46:12
Speaker
trying to find pieces as much as I can that are of good quality. You know, there's like the birdie on my shoulder of like environmentally conscious, like things that it's so hard to not navigate these days with greenwashing and things like that. But yeah, where's that? And then there's certain times where I'm like, this are a piece. It's a hundred percent con. I like, there's certain things I, you know, you need to navigate, but like make the choice. But here's like, and not everyone has the means to be buying something from,
00:46:37
Speaker
you know, ah that has a ton of zeros in it and things like that. yeah I don't know. It's a tricky world, but it also brings me joy. So it's a it's it's a ah relationship I continue to clearly nurture. um But as as rightfully so we're growing up, I think it it changes how you how you view it view it and experience it.
00:46:57
Speaker
I feel like you and Natalie from the Natno we had her on are just inspiring to like shop. Oh my God. Yeah. Y'all kind of are similar in that way. or all Yeah. We're best friends.
00:47:10
Speaker
She doesn't know that yet, but best friends. But that my we're going to our next party. we have ah Not really, but she, um y'all both are very inspiring by shopping vintage. I'm not,
00:47:23
Speaker
I'm not good at the vintage, vintage clothing. I love like home stuff. So I'm like, I could spend all day in an antique store. Like, yeah, take me there. But and clothes are tough. I feel like any final it's like you find something that, and sorry, I'm interrupting so much, but like you find something that's like, it smells it pit state. Like there's, it's such a world where like, and like also back then they were like, I always say like, they're like petite little fairies. Like they had no, and no, like,
00:47:50
Speaker
certainly weren't five, nine, like there's certain things where you're like, so it is, it does take some, some repetition to navigate and also some tailoring. And also sometimes there's something, especially when I, like I shop on the real real or eBay or, or Etsy a ton. And there's something that I get that I'm like, this is now going to be a pillow because this is not going to fit me and, or I'm giving it to a friend. So it's definitely a lot of like, uh, you know, there's not always every win. Um, And it's same. I feel like I have friends that and my mom was really good about vintage furniture and antiquing and fashion. She like but she appreciated it with vintage. But like is she just was more like I think she like came from it's like she came from a place where like that's her only option. And then when she was able to like purchase something from a store, she's like, that's what I'm going to do.
00:48:39
Speaker
But with furniture, I feel like that's an intimidating um world as well. So I feel like it's certain skill sets that you can gotten and go in different directions. But so much of it is just trial and error.
00:48:51
Speaker
Yeah. oh my Yeah. What about as far as going into the summertime? i know me like I am, i guess I keep, I don't know. Am I still post postpartum? I had a baby 15 months ago. So I feel like people give that like two year mark, three year mark. I hold onto that really tightly. Yeah. Yeah.
00:49:10
Speaker
so yeah then i i Just recently got rid of a ton of clothes and I'm kind of in this phase of like building up my wardrobe. yeah What are you loving for summer? Is there anything that you're super into any places you specifically love to shop?
00:49:26
Speaker
Tell us all the beats. Personally, obviously I'm, I'm like a little over five months pregnant now. So like I'm, I'm headed in into like a prego summer. I'm going to be, it's, you know, going to be high. Like I, I,
00:49:39
Speaker
but like I think everyone has to figure out their own pregnancy style um and what you come to. I feel like some women are like navigating a new body in a way where like they're not you know comfortable with it. And sometimes it's like they're rocking it. I think it's a beautiful time where like I think even from my first pregnancy to now, it's so fun to see different generations or just different women embrace it where there's so much more of like the belly and like things like that that are like out and about that I think is super fun. Am I going to be rocking that all the time? I don't know. But like, I'm, I like a something more fitted if you can find it, um or if really short. So it's like showing off the legs and like a good fit. But what's us so so hard is like, when you find something that fits today, it's not fitting for that event you have on Saturday or whatever. they Yeah.
00:50:27
Speaker
Um, that I think pregnancy is where I try to find as much as I can within my closet. Vintage is super tricky, but, um, if I can find it, it works, but that is where I am finding a piece that is going to bring me joy from Zara or something like that, that h and M or something that is going to get me through pregnancy. And then I can, you know,
00:50:49
Speaker
call it Call it what it is, or maybe it's something that I can have forever. I technically i definitely don't um shop like maternity. It's more just like a size up or something that's like looser or stretchy, things like that. um and then in general, summer style, like I think it depends on like...
00:51:07
Speaker
Your lifestyle, like I think I like I think like easy breezy like linen and and simple, simple like dress it. I'm a big dress girl in the summer, especially like throw on and go, especially like realistically when you're like sweating your ass off, taking a kid to a pool or like a camp or whatever.
00:51:26
Speaker
What can I not think about um as much? um I think that like I always bring up J.Crew because it was like where my first job was. But I i just love. they're you know they've continued to just evolve and i think like you can find really good quality all cotton pieces and things like that for the summer that you're going to wear as a cover-up and dress it up to wear it out or during the day um and i don't think you need much in the summer i just think you need like those pieces that you're going to wear during the week and then a piece that's like going to be fun
00:51:58
Speaker
on vacation. a lot of caftans I wear pregnancy or not pregnant. That's where I think it can need one help me. yeah those Yeah. You're in Florida. You could wear it all the time. yeah I need Totally. And that's where you can find, I think you have better luck with vintage because it's like, they're usually bit more like one size fits all and you can kind of either tailor it or it's like, it looks so chic kind of like hanging on you in a way. It's on beach, baby.
00:52:28
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. like yeah And yeah I think it's like, that's a piece that you can totally wear as a cover up, but then you're either dressing it up with good accessories or a belt and it's all of a sudden like your favorite piece to wear.
00:52:41
Speaker
wear at night. But I think like, it's already, it's hot. It's like, it is a social busy season. Try and find like the simple pieces that bring you joy, but you're not having to think too much about it.
00:52:52
Speaker
love i I lived in like the bump suit with the oversized button down when I was pregnant over the summer. That's like all I wore. Cause I had her, I was due like September 6th, but I had her August 29th. So I feel for, yeah.
00:53:05
Speaker
ah yeah Yeah. I'm excited like to like just bikinis and as simple as possible, but also I'm going to be you know three kids and it's going to be hot.
00:53:16
Speaker
ah Yeah. How has your pregnancy been like this the first trimester? Were you sick? Has it been easy? How have your pregnancies been in the past compared to this one? Typically, I've always been pretty sick in the first trimester. um That whole like worst hangover you've ever had, but all never goes away.
00:53:35
Speaker
you know, you know, 15, 16 weeks or so. Um, it's hard to say like, is this harder or easier? Cause you're chasing three kids this time with certain things. But then I think of my first pregnancy and I was like, but like getting dressed every day in an office, like doing so much in a different way. So, um but yeah, but thankfully I, you know, it does dissipate and gets better after, um, a little bit after the the second trimester and that's what it was this time around. Um,
00:54:04
Speaker
And other than that, it's been good. I think it's been an interesting pregnancy, like, um you know, connecting myself with like, like the pregnancy and like the baby inside of me because there's so much going on. And, you know, you always laugh about, again, like your first pregnancy, like you're lotioning yourself and taking naps and getting massages. And this it's just like not.
00:54:26
Speaker
the case. Or I always thought it was so interesting how like in my first pregnancy, you could ask me the day, any day. And and I'd be like, yes, I'm 16 weeks and four days. And I would know whatever. And then, ah like with my second baby, they would be like, how far along are you? knew I'm like,
00:54:43
Speaker
Two months? I don't know. Honestly, don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's definitely something where I like in a twist, like I would have embraced having twins again. And I like when they did the ultrasound, I was like, just do another laugh just to be sure both like cautiously and also like maybe there's another one in there. But we were we're so blessed regardless. But with this with this just one, I'm like, I'm going to everything with this kid. Like I like they're they're like the twins didn't see the inside of a grocery store or anything like just like navigating. So true. a little bit more in here. I'm not getting two kids in a car seat just to like, I'm ordering that delivery. for sure Um, but with one, I think it's a different perspective after having the, having the twins. Um, and, uh, and also just a different season of motherhood where like, not that I'm doing everything well, but like, I have a different, we've navigated one during a pandemic. Like he was born March 9th, like right.
00:55:38
Speaker
Oh my God. and then my mom you know he sex so and easy having twins like i just think you do gain some sort of confidence and some sort of like we got this like it's going to be insane um by you know there has been a level of just like calmness um ah around it. um But, but yeah, it's been, it's been a good pregnancy. I definitely like, I both need to like slow down and be like, Oh, like this is ah beautiful, wonderful thing, but also like and there's, there's shit to do. mean, and you're like, well, that's how I felt the second time i was just like, I like,
00:56:16
Speaker
cared so much the first time and I see now like because we I follow like stuff on Facebook like um mama's like us something and there was like a collage that they like a group made um of them like halfway through their pregnancy and i was like oh that's the first time mom that made that for sure like and which is amazing and it's so incredible and there's certain things I did and then there's certain things that I'm doing now that I didn't do I don't know it's like everyone has their own yeah and yeah um But there, I will say like, is it this being pregnant and having a ah baby after she passed um was going to be
Finding Beauty in Life Transitions
00:56:55
Speaker
emotional regardless. And then this, I'm in a place where I'm like, wow, that's beautiful. And that is mine. And that is like, she's working her magic and she's like making this, this hard time.
00:57:07
Speaker
something that is going to also be beautiful. um by But yet there is just ah an added element of all of all of my family, everything we're like, oh, my gosh, like and it's um it's interesting and leading up to it will definitely be emotional. And I think we have friends and and family who have lost their their mom and or a pair or parents or loved ones.
00:57:29
Speaker
you know, before having, you know, after, before have they've gotten pregnant after losing someone. And and so I have people to talk to. And I think some people are just like, yeah. And then some people like there is like this added weight to it. um But that is another, another element that I'm, that I'm navigating both with like wonder and like, you know, being appreciative. And also just like there's days where it's like, oh, like she's, you know, she's not meeting this baby and all of that. There's definitely a lot of that.
00:57:57
Speaker
ah feel like I say with Shannon all the time, like she sends us little winks and I feel like it's almost like your mom's like, she knows, like, this is her way of saying like, I know. And I want you to be happy around this time, you know? Yeah.
00:58:13
Speaker
Have you read signs? No, you should. I mean, I always rolled my eyes at people like sending me books and stuff at certain points after grief. But like that was one that I have read and and love. And it opens your I've already kind of I feel like vibrated on a certain frequency that I'm like open to that type of stuff.
00:58:29
Speaker
But it's a It's a beautiful book and will totally speak to those wings. and like And I think the more that you open yourself up to it, the more you see it. And I've seen those those wings, those signs. And it um it softens too. like i don't think i I did read some of it right after my mom passed. And I think I like blacked out most of it. And like I think there was so much more like...
00:58:50
Speaker
anger and just like frustration with like what happened and it was so sudden and wrapping my head around it and now the work I've done and just time in general like it's softened where like again like someone would have said to me right after like she's always with you she's she's i and just so like right there's like anger that's how I felt people would say that to me and I'd be like shut up Right. but like it I want her with me here. i don't like now, like i I certainly have those days, but I also have many more where I'm like, whoa, like she is and it is comforting.
00:59:23
Speaker
um But definitely read that. I will definitely look into that. We, um you know, I was. 28 weeks pregnant when Shannon passed. So I was, you know, navigating ah late pregnancy and like having this baby and these feelings of joy, but also like intense grief.
00:59:43
Speaker
And, um, and think i will and then, pardon ofs Oh my God. Yeah. We all were, we were all well, um, But, um, and the listeners know this cause I've talked about it, but, um, when they moved me to my post postpartum room after having Evie, my nurse's name was Shannon.
01:00:02
Speaker
Oh my. And I was just like, my husband and I were like sobbing and my nurse was like, are you okay? Yeah, it's fine. Yeah.
01:00:13
Speaker
um yeah But she will be with you and you'll get so many signs. Yeah. We're sending so much love for this new baby coming in. I can't wait to see who they are prize I know. i If we have a third, I want a surprise so bad.
01:00:31
Speaker
It's really fun. Yeah. It's, it's, uh, people were like, well, you know what to do with a girl? like, oh, hell yeah, I will. Like already have a pile of clothes. It's honestly the same, but like clothes.
01:00:44
Speaker
I'm like, I could run a boy's boutique at this point with the amount of clothes and stuff. i be amanda and It's been here at such a delicious age that like, and so is like, it's fascinating watching a five-year-old grow because you're like, whoa, you are a person and I'm learning so much from you. But like four boys would also, i would, I would need a lot of those like self, like love times.
01:01:05
Speaker
But I, it would also be like, so, so amazing. So I'm, I'm, I'm in a place where like, we went into it open to, to just wanting more kids. And then I'm But either way, it's goingnna be it's going to be really fun and and crazy. Yeah. Not to add to your plate, but a children's boutique.
01:01:25
Speaker
i know whitneyney Whitney will be partners with you on that. That's like up her alley. oh my God. We need more cute boy clothes. Like I feel like you'd be so amazing. You do need like, at least for me, I have like a sister.
01:01:39
Speaker
You just, you need to like, there's, there's a lot to sift through. And again, don't want to yuck anyone's yum. Everyone dress their kid how you can or want to, but yeah, it's definitely less options than you get a dig, you know, but it's fine. It's fun.
01:01:52
Speaker
Yeah. I'm in, I'm into it, but yeah We have appreciated you being on the show so much. we're so glad we got to connect um and so grateful that you were able to join us today.
01:02:04
Speaker
It's been so wonderful. I could chat with you guys for hours. Honestly, like you good for another party? We love it. Well, thank you so, so much.
01:02:16
Speaker
Yes. Thank you for having me. And um hopefully it's not the last time that we can ah connect, but thank you so much. right. Bye. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday. And don't forget, the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there.
01:02:35
Speaker
All right, gotta go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.