Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
EP 92: Because I Wanted To
1.6k Plays2 months ago
In this week’s episode, we’re talking about doing what feels good—just because it feels good. Candace shares that she got lip filler this week, and we use that as a jumping-off point to dive into something way deeper: what it means to do something just for you as a mom.
We unpack the guilt that can come with prioritizing yourself, why so many moms feel the need to justify anything that brings them joy, and how freeing it is to stop asking for permission. Whether it's cosmetic, creative, or simply carving out space for rest—we’re giving a full permission slip to let yourself want things.
We also talk about:
- Reclaiming agency over your body, time, and energy
- Why doing what feels good can be healing, not selfish
- Modeling self-prioritization for your kids
- The magic of saying, “Because I wanted to”
This episode is your reminder that you’re allowed to be a full person—with desires, with needs, with a little lip plump if you’re into that. 💋
Join the official Mom Group Chat Facebook group: MOM GROUP CHAT FACEBOOK GROUP
Keep up with the Moms and join the conversation on our socials:
📸 Instagram: @momgroupchat
🎵 TikTok: @momgroupchat
Questions/comments/need to vent? Email us at momgroupchat@gmail.com
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to the Mom Group Chat Podcast
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it.
00:00:12
Speaker
Oh, we're going to get into it. What up, moms? My name is Candice, and I'm here with my best friend, Whitney. And this is the Mom Group Chat Podcast.
00:00:25
Speaker
What's up, friends? Candice and I were just yapping for a good 15 minutes. i know Sometimes we just get on here and like need to just press record.
00:00:36
Speaker
But sometimes we're spilling tea that can't be recorded, you know? Oh my gosh. Well, we were catching up because we didn't really get to talk much last week. So that was that. But it is kind of fun talking to you because I swear to God, it just comes out like things just flow of our mouth and we just go.
00:00:56
Speaker
No, literally, it's like I open my mouth and it's like, like just... flow of information and you know I just feel so like free and open I can say whatever I want I can tell you anything that's going on with my life and I feel like you care to some extent whereas like there's so many people who are like if I were to tell them anything about what's going on with my kids they would be like okay like thanks for telling me i think But like like you care.
00:01:23
Speaker
Yeah.
Nostalgia and Social Events
00:01:24
Speaker
Well, knowing someone this long, like I was, you know, how Facebook has Facebook memes and they were popping up and like, okay, April's popping up back 15 years ago because Candace was all over it. And ah was showing her pictures. It was like us.
00:01:38
Speaker
She came with me to Clarksville for like an Easter weekend and we were doing toe touches in the backyard. And then there's another picture where we were out and about because like we had friends visiting. So was just like, wow. Wow.
00:01:50
Speaker
We were really spring fever back then. just Well, when I think back on April, it was like after spring break typically, but that's when like all the day parties were happening at Alabama.
00:02:03
Speaker
Like I feel like April and May were some of like our most social months. Schools yeah kind of winding down, like it's warm in Alabama, like – You're right because school lets out like May 5th, like early May. So April's like darty time. Yeah, exactly. like school's winding down. And sometimes after spring break, you're like on a bender, like you can't stop, you know?
00:02:31
Speaker
Well, if you're us, yeah. I don't know that that's like a universal experience, but like if you're us, yeah. and Well, once you're on that like train of going out to eat and like having a casual drink every day, it's like, well, let's just keep it going.
00:02:46
Speaker
Let's let the good times roll. Yeah. Oh, man. And in April, we had kite flight, which was like our biggest social party of the year for our sorority. And so it's just so f freaking fun and so fun.
00:03:03
Speaker
don't know. April's popping. I just don't remember. Didn't remember. Well, April's still popping in my life now. I just one of the, one of the things I was just venting about to Whitney was just how much back to back to back things we have going on between like last weekend and the end of May. I have some, we have something either a trip or like an obligation or Like we just have something every single weekend that's like all encompassing. It's not like, oh yeah, we we have we're going to go to dinner. It's like, no, we have like a full weekend thing for the next like six weekends.
00:03:41
Speaker
And y'all, it's a lot. I'm already feeling a little... burnt out honestly but it's fine I'm gonna take your one we shot of it I'm literally one weekend in and I'm like oh yeah but well I mean at least it's fun and then i don't know sometimes when you have like the long weekends when you're not doing anything you're like wishing you were so Yeah.
00:04:05
Speaker
Yeah. Easter's just a lot, which we just came off Easter. And um I really didn't have plans. And then I did. And then it was just busy, which was great. I had a great weekend. But yeah, it's a lot.
Easter Activities and Family Time
00:04:20
Speaker
tell Talk to me about your Easter. Like, is it... A big holiday. Like, what do y'all do? Do you do an Easter egg hunt? What is that like? I swear, I think we did five Easter egg hunts.
00:04:33
Speaker
One in the new neighborhood, one at school, one in my backyard, one in the friend's backyard. I mean, we just were like, at the end of it, they were over it. And like... I had one at my house Sunday afternoon and I just like had a friend over with their kids because I was like, whatever, let's fill the weekend.
00:04:50
Speaker
And they started running through and I like ran out of candy. Target was closed on Sunday, so I couldn't go like fill the eggs. Those kids were just cracking them open and throwing them down. They're like, nothing's in this one.
00:05:03
Speaker
Nothing's in this one. So then I still had eggs all over my yard. i was like, you guys are so over it. Like, was so funny. my God, that's... I have eggs all over my house. Like, one of my things on my to-do list today is to, like, just get a bin and to toss all the Easter shit in it and have Vinny take it to the storage unit because the amount of Easter decoration...
00:05:27
Speaker
It's not even decorations that I purchase. It's like stuff that has ended up in my house from like Easter baskets and Easter gifts and people stopping by. It's like and and I will never have to shop for Easter things ever again.
00:05:41
Speaker
Truly. Yeah. I like saving the eggs and stuff. I just pulled them out from last year. Now I've accumulated more, but normally like we'll do family stuff, but my parents were out of town visiting my sister. So Like I said, if we didn't have plans. And then Sunday, i ended up like hanging out with three different friend groups throughout the day. And I was just like, Lord, how'd this even happen?
00:06:02
Speaker
But it was good. And we like met up with some of our new neighbors um Sunday afternoon and like got to hang out a little bit. So I'm trying to like bond.
00:06:14
Speaker
At that point, like she was like, hey, we're outside. The kids are playing if y'all want some wine. And I was like, so tired at that point. But I was like, we got to go over there. Yeah. Yeah. got So.
00:06:25
Speaker
And it was. Yeah. So sweet. What about you? Our weekend was good. it was a lot, but all good things. We went to church in the morning and then um we went to the yacht club with my in-laws for Easter brunch, which was like a little chaotic. It was a lot of people.
00:06:48
Speaker
it was like crowded, you know, and the Easter bunnies there, there's just like lots of sweets. It's like chaotic, you know? um but it was good.
00:06:59
Speaker
And, um, I'm just Easter weekend felt like a lot. We had a guest in town. We had my, one of my best friends, Mackenzie, also very close friend of Whitney, obviously.
00:07:12
Speaker
And, um, so nice to have her she had never she hadn't met Evie yet so that was like her big thing she was like I want to come down while she's still a little squish and um they like really bonded it was really sweet all of them did like both Alice and Evie like really loved her and Mackenzie was such a good sport like We had one night where we went out, the two of us, just to dinner, but everything else was kind of like we were just hanging with the kids.
00:07:37
Speaker
And Mackenzie was such a good sport just to like hang and, you know. Sometimes like I forget like with friends without kids, like they have like the capacity to be able to like yeah focus solely on like your kids. So that's nice.
00:07:55
Speaker
Like I would, I kept saying, I'm sorry. Like every time, cause the girls were like obsessed with her ah by the end because, you know, of course she's like giving them attention and like doing whatever they want. And like, I would go to get changed, which like in the morning, usually like if I go in my room to get changed, like the girls are just following me and we're all just in the room, like getting changed, but instead they would go find Mackenzie.
00:08:16
Speaker
And so like I'd come back from and I'd be like, I'm so sorry. Like, come on, girls, give Mackenzie some space. But she was like, no, I love it. Like, it's fine. Go get changed. Like, it's fine. And I was like, wow, you're so nice.
00:08:27
Speaker
Because she was just like willing to like lean in and like help out, which was so nice. Yeah. Isn't that funny how we feel like, oh, my God, please don't burden my friend. We want them to come back.
00:08:42
Speaker
Yeah. I was like, oh, God, is she going to like never come back? but I think she will. And she loved the girls. course she will. Yeah. There's something really special about your best friend's children.
00:08:53
Speaker
Like. It also was so funny because the first night Vinny was like, why don't y'all just. Or she, he was like, Mackenzie, why don't you just sleep in our bed? Cause our cleaners came Friday. So our sheets were like perfectly clean. Yeah.
00:09:07
Speaker
And he was like, I'll sleep on the couch. Like, y'all just sleep in the bed together. And I think Mackenzie thought that was just going to be, like, the first night just because we were kind of out late and, like, we went to late dinner. and And then all we slept in a bed together for four days and Vinny slept on the couch for four days. That's nice. we just shared a bed for four days and it was honestly so nice. And this is literally standing up behind me is the air mattress that she was supposed to sleep on but never.
00:09:37
Speaker
Never got used. So that's amazing.
Celebrity Gossip and Relationships
00:09:42
Speaker
We actually ended up, Whitney, this is a callback to something we used to do in college. We, and I was just telling you this, Whit, but we watched the Dune movies, which I have never seen.
00:09:52
Speaker
So we watched Dune 1 and then last night we finished it took us two nights to finish it. It was so long, honestly. And we kept falling asleep, but, um, and it's so good.
00:10:03
Speaker
Like that us falling asleep had nothing to do with the quality of the movie, but, um, we ended up taking that air mattress and putting it next door. And it was the perfect height to where it just like extended our couch. Oh my God. It was game changing. Like we all were so cozy out there and we had, we had gone to bed and left it. And Alice woke up and she was like,
00:10:24
Speaker
what is this? Like, what is happening? I was like, sweetheart, this is luxury. Okay. These, these going to your sleepovers, babe. Literally.
00:10:36
Speaker
um it was so fun. And Dune was so good. I got lost in the world. Like all I kept talking about, like it was all I could think about for two days. Um, yeah. Lisan Al-Gaib.
00:10:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:49
Speaker
Yeah, no, Dune's fabulous. And I just like, I like all that with and Star Wars and stuff. So, yeah. all very It was very Star Wars-y for sure. Apparently, Star Wars ripped off Dune.
00:11:05
Speaker
I mean, it is a book. It's so good. I um i have like a weird fascination with Timothy Shalamala Bing Bong, so...
00:11:17
Speaker
um He was beautiful. i made me a bigger fan of his watching those movies. I mean, I already was a fan, but he always just seemed like a little boy to me. No, he is, which is giving the ick like Whitney do not like him. Like if I were to get on top of him, I would hurt him, you know?
00:11:38
Speaker
That's what snapped. But he gave it way for the, um, whatever, Bob Dylan movie. So. Oh, did Okay. Well, hat did that I still like, and him dating Kylie, not to get like too into pop culture stuff right now, but him dating Kylie, like, she's just such like a woman, you know, she's got a lot going on. I'm just like,
00:11:58
Speaker
It mean he took him up a notch, you know? Yeah. He must have game in order to handle all of that. You know what I mean? He definitely has got some swag and game to him. There is a specific video of them at an award show. It was like maybe two years ago or a year ago. It wasn't one recently, but they're like looking so intently into each other's eyes. And then they'll give us a little kiss. Yeah.
00:12:23
Speaker
It's hot. I was like, yeah, i like I think I watched it on loop. Like I was like, whoa, they're so Yeah, she's gorgeous. And he's like gorgeous.
00:12:35
Speaker
Honestly, i ship like I think that they are really cute together. Not what I would originally like place together, but like I'm into it. Like, thank God is. giving Hollywood. It is.
00:12:47
Speaker
And, um yeah, thank God he's not actually a little boy. I think he's like 28 or something. We actually looked up his age yesterday. He's 29. Okay, 29. And she's 27. Very respectable.
00:12:59
Speaker
For me to have a crush on this man. Yeah, yeah. Sort of. He's so thin. Yeah, he's only it's five years younger than us. It's fine. Yeah, it's fine. And I don't really, but I did find that video attractive. i was like, wow, they're so in love.
00:13:15
Speaker
It made me love them. know. I know. They're hot. They are. And then them at Coachella, too. I was like, ah! Oh, yeah.
00:13:26
Speaker
I could watch videos of them interacting all day just because I feel like I'm watching like a wild like, you know, it's just not videos we get very often. Yeah. They're so secretive.
00:13:36
Speaker
yeah I don't even watch Kardashians anymore. i don't know. Me either. i don't know. I fell off. It wasn't even that I purposely stopped. I don't know. I just never fit in back into my like rotation. I think I told you this. I am followed all of them for years.
00:13:50
Speaker
Oh, no reason for Lent. for give up I gave up the Kardashians. No, I just unfollowed them. I don't know why. like I would have had, they weren't serving me any purpose anymore. yeah And I get that.
00:14:04
Speaker
I don't dress like them. Like, I don't know. I'm just like, yeah ah there I don't care. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, do I have Kardashians? Oh, Yes.
00:14:17
Speaker
The other way a lot way. Yeah, I was going to say this is a segue into what we're going
Candice's Experience with Lip Injections
00:14:22
Speaker
to talk about today. But i Mackenzie, like I said, was here and yesterday i got lip injections and And i just wanted to talk about it because it was kind of a wild experience, honestly. And i also just, it got me like, it sparked a conversation between Vinny and i about like why I wanted to do it or i don't know, just kind of like how this came about, like
00:14:57
Speaker
And i I need to like give a little bit of backstory here. So the best place in my opinion here in Tampa to like get lip injections is this place, Elan. Shout out Elan, E-L-A-N in Tampa.
00:15:10
Speaker
They are very fancy. And the two girls that own it are like trained by Julie Horn in Norway. So which if you know, like the Julie Horn technique of lips, it's like very natural and,
00:15:25
Speaker
like specific. And so I've always said if I was going to get lip injections, I want them done Elan and, but they're very pricey and it just didn't seem like an urgent need.
00:15:38
Speaker
Well, I, saw on their Instagram that they were doing like a model casting call for their lip injections core, like class that they put on for, to teach other injectors like that, um, technique.
00:15:52
Speaker
Anyways, I applied, I submitted photos of myself and they chose me. Um, and that's not like some braggy thing there. They picked five other girls too. So it's like, was not just me, but, um, yeah,
00:16:06
Speaker
And if you were chosen, it was only going to be $400 to get lip injections, which these would cost quadruple that probably, honestly. so I was like, I feel like I have to do it. Like I've always been curious about it. I've always just wanted to do it, especially like my lips have gotten thinner.
00:16:26
Speaker
Over the past five years, I would say, especially after having kids. And I just am in my glow up era. Like I am in this phase of life where I'm feeling good postpartum.
00:16:38
Speaker
I'm trying to be a groundhog. Okay. And I am just wanting to feel like beautiful and sexy again. i don't. That just is what it is. I just.
00:16:50
Speaker
So Vinny was like, why do you want them? Like, are you like unhappy with yourself? And I was like, no, I actually like love my lips and I love the way I look, but i just want to do it. Like, I don't know what else to say other than I just want to. It's like enhancing one of your best assets anyway.
00:17:08
Speaker
Also, girl math. It was basically free. thought it was. It is free. Like compared to what it would normally be, it's basically free. So I don't know. And it just kind of got me thinking about as a mom, like,
00:17:27
Speaker
how I feel the need to like justify something that I want to do. Like whether it's like financially justified, like even now I'm justifying me just wanting to do it by like telling you that I got a deal, you know, like whether it's like financially justifying it or like, just like even if it's like ah event an event I want to go to or a a girl's night out or a girl's trip or like,
00:17:52
Speaker
Even as much as just like maybe wanting a babysitter for the afternoon to like go to HomeGoods or whatever or like run an errand. The fact that I like feel guilty and the feel I feel the need to like justify that with some like excuse or like give all these reasons of to like why I need it like.
00:18:13
Speaker
I just wish that we all could want what we want and own it and like it not be judged or like look down upon, you know?
00:18:25
Speaker
For sure. I think you hit the nail on the head, but number one, I just want to say your lips look really good. and And honestly, you know what it's giving your pregnancy, your pregnancy lips.
00:18:37
Speaker
Do you know I said that to them? I showed them a picture. I swear on my life. They were – because they sat you down in the chair and they, like, asked you what you what you were interested in. I was like, listen, I really love my lips. I like the shape of my lips.
00:18:50
Speaker
I was like, but they've definitely gotten thinner and I just want, like, my lips but better. And I said – I flat out said I was like, actually, what I really would love is my pregnancy lips. Yeah. Because that this is how my lips looked when I was pregnant. They do. And like the more that you're talking, because like obviously Candice sent me pictures and like whatever.
00:19:09
Speaker
But like now that I've been talking to you for 20 minutes and like I'm seeing your mouth move, it's like your lips were when you were pregnant. so Yeah. So she asked me, she was like, do you have a picture of your lips when they, when you were pregnant? And I pulled up the picture of the selfie I took when I was about to give birth to Alice and my lips are so juicy. And I was like, this, this is what I want.
00:19:32
Speaker
And she was like, oh wow. Okay. Yeah. You definitely had pregnancy lips. i was like, yeah, that's what I want. but So I literally said that to them. So they do, they look really good and natural. I had them less than 24 hours ago. So they're still swollen right now.
00:19:46
Speaker
So when they go down and the bruising goes down, it's actually going to be even more natural. so I'm really happy with them. Yay. I just like um can't imagine. My lips did not grow.
00:19:59
Speaker
have no lip. I was telling Candice, I was like, the only way I could ever do this is if I got like a dental block on my freaking gums. Okay. That's so she told me that before I went and then like 30 minutes before or an hour before my appointment, they texted me and they were like, Hey, Candace, just a reminder, like we're doing a dental block as part of the training like training today. So make sure you're here by one 25. And I was like, Oh shit. Okay. I am getting a dental block.
00:20:31
Speaker
And y'all, now that I've done it, I don't know how anyone does it without um ah ah dental block. I would i would pass out. It was crazy. And as they were doing it, one of my dental block, like as we were more than halfway through, one of the dental blocks started to wear off.
00:20:49
Speaker
And when she pricked me, i was like, holy, I think I like gasped. And she was like, oh no, are you getting – like, is it your feeling coming back? And I was like, yes. So they went back inside my mouth and re-numbed me on that side of my face.
00:21:03
Speaker
It was crazy. This side I could not feel at all after the dental block. This one I could always feel a little bit. It was like it wasn't as effective, but then they redid it and it was fine. But – The amount of like movement they have to do. And again, i don't know if this is like just the technique of it. Like they put the filler in and then they like kind of they use the needle to like shape the lip and like, you know, so it's a lot. There's a lot happening and there's like a lot of pricking and a lot of movement. I was like, shit, I couldn't imagine doing this without a dental block.
00:21:37
Speaker
That's what my friend was saying. They like, um, like thread it through and like, yeah, around. Oh my God. I just like, cannot imagine them doing that to my little itty bitty thin lip.
00:21:48
Speaker
Like what would happen? yeah I feel like you need a lip flip first. I've tried that. you were going to do that. tried it one Oh, have you? I could not tell a fucking thing. They were like, usually only you can tell. And I was like, I don't have enough lip to even tell.
00:22:03
Speaker
You don't have enough lip to flip? No. It's just like nothing. um Anyway, but I'm so glad that it went well and- Duly noted, even though I already knew that dental block block is the only way.
00:22:17
Speaker
Yeah. um Yeah. But back to the like main topic of conversation.
Indulgence and Self-Care for Moms
00:22:22
Speaker
I feel like a lot of times I have a dental block on wanting to do things because literally so much work to be able to do what you want to do.
00:22:33
Speaker
Or have like have that day out. Like I was telling Candace, um we well, we are having a party inspired by none other than Natalie.
00:22:44
Speaker
We're having a Cinco Disco party on like May 3rd. And I'm so excited. We've like literally invited everyone. Yeah. And I'm so like, everyone's going to dress 70s. I know. I was like, Candice, you want to fly up for this?
00:22:58
Speaker
No, like if I didn't already have something I had fully committed to, ah they I would be there. vi Vinny and I would be there for sure. Yeah. i was like, it's an adults only party. Like my kids are going to my parents house. Like we're doing this up.
00:23:12
Speaker
But I got invited to potentially go to steeplechase, which is like basically Churchill Downs of Nashville. And it is so freaking fun. Like I have not been since 2015. I was like thinking back. It's been 10 years since I've been because that was like a really fun thing to do after college.
00:23:30
Speaker
um And so I got invited and I told Candace, I was like, why was the very first thought I had was guilt? Like, yeah oh my gosh, that's like a whole Saturday of me being away or like, oh, I'm going like, if that was the road roadblock was I'm have to find a babysitter for that day. I can't ask my parents because they're keeping them the weekend before. Like I had this whole like, oh my God. rain i hot I totally relate to this so hard. It's like you're doing the mental gymnastics of like,
00:24:01
Speaker
I'm like, okay, I can't ask her, but then I'm going to have to ask someone else. And I'm like, what if they can't? Because then I'm also having friends coming into town at the end of May. So I don't want to overuse this person and them not come back for that. And so I was just like, how am I going to make this work?
00:24:15
Speaker
Like, is it it's it is it worth it? To do all this. Yeah. Yeah. So ah one of the things that I thought was like a good kind of thought to go with this episode is like this idea of like being indulgent or and or like an investment. Yeah.
00:24:36
Speaker
And I'm not saying like, oh, I made an investment in my lips, but I did make an investment in like my confidence and how i feel about my body. And same with you. Like going to steeplechase is like an investment into your happiness and mental health.
00:24:53
Speaker
That's like going to connect you with friends or ah like make you feel, know what I mean? Like, I think it's important to remember that it's not just about like,
00:25:05
Speaker
It's not indulgent. It's not like, oh, I'm doing extra. Like it's you're. That's a great way to think about it. Honestly, especially like the people invited me or Caroline and Steven, who I like never get to hang out. Oh, yeah. ah You know, we all love them.
00:25:21
Speaker
And so like them inviting or saying like, oh, or thinking of us like, oh, we're looking for spots to fill like Whitney and Chris are fun. They would love this. Like, yeah. Tickled my heart.
00:25:33
Speaker
So was like, I do want to make it work. But like, yeah, the initial thought was, yeah, a whole Saturday away, even though like I asked her, I was like what ah the time are you going? they said nine to three. And I was like, okay, that's like a day of daycare, basically.
00:25:47
Speaker
Yeah. So that's like not. Yeah, that's not even like crazy. Yeah. No. So I don't know. Yeah. Time away from the kids too. Like it's not neglect. It's like nourishment for yourself, for your marriage.
00:26:02
Speaker
It's that's how many times I think I told you this the last time Vinny and I went out just the two of us with friends. I was like, wow, wow. It totally renewed our like for each other to like be in public and to see him interact in the world and to see me interact with friends and in the world and for us to come together like in those public spaces and be like, oh,
00:26:25
Speaker
you're funny and cool. I'm funny and cool. We like each other. Isn't that crazy? You know? And in that moment, I'm not like expecting him to do anything or like, he's not like watching me struggle. You know, it's like, it just is so nice to like feel a different,
00:26:42
Speaker
like to feel like your pre-baby self. I feel bad saying that, but like, that's just like, you that's lost in the mundane very yeah easily because it's just routine and yeah easier than trying to outsource like help or doing the things you want.
00:27:00
Speaker
So sometimes it's just like easier to be like, no, I'm good. Like I'll sit at home and pull the water table out today could go to steeplechase.
00:27:13
Speaker
It also, I don't know about you, but it makes me a better mom when I return. I'm more present. I'm more like ready to dive in when I feel like I've filled my cup with like joy and excitement and like other things.
00:27:28
Speaker
i I can come back and be a better mom in the moment. I'm be a hoot when I come back from that. My cup will be filled with mint juleps. yeah Yeah. I'm just kidding.
00:27:39
Speaker
But maybe. I don't know. I don't know if I'm going. I like need to like outsource and hunt for help. But I don't know. It's just like that that's like brings it back to just being spring and like going from no plans to all of a sudden like it's popping.
Planning the Cinco Disco Party
00:27:54
Speaker
All right? Yeah. I have the Cinco Disco, which is going to be freaking fabulous. And like I think it's actually gotten a lot of my friends excited. like Everyone's in.
00:28:06
Speaker
Everyone's got my baby. So they'll text me, like got my outfit. like I just got a text from Erica and Dustin's outfit. And it's freaking hilarious. Oh my God. That is so funny. I love them.
00:28:19
Speaker
Um, and they're like, we're game. Like, and since no one's going to here, we have three bedrooms open. I'm like, who wants to spend the night? Yeah. Let's go get an overnight babysitter.
00:28:31
Speaker
i even like invited my brother and his wife and I was like, y'all can spend the night. Like if you want to come. Yeah. Let's go. Are your, did you invite your parents too or no?
00:28:41
Speaker
They're watching the kids, which oh my mom's pissed. ah Oh. Becky wanted to come to the party for She's just like, what the hell? like And I'm like, I'm sorry, but you're like the only one I trust for an overnight stay. I'm so sorry.
00:28:59
Speaker
Oh, my God. That is so, so funny. No, she's mad. Becky was ready to party. Oh, she they this would be like their thriving party. Like, they're so 70s people.
00:29:10
Speaker
i was going to say, like the music this party has Becky written all over it. For sure. I feel bad, but it's going to be so fun. We're going to take them on Saturday and just get everything ready. But anyway, yeah, that being a one weekend steeplechase.
00:29:24
Speaker
Then my friends come into town from Rhode Island. I'm just like, oh, my God. May is like... And we need to figure out when we're hanging out. I'm like, do you come here for the 4th of July? miss I'm open to that.
00:29:37
Speaker
Do we go? I'm open. Oh, don't tempt me with a good time, Whitney. That's my favorite thing. And I've always talking to Vinny about the lake. If that's a, if that's a legit offer, like, please tell me and I will make it happen. I'll ask my parents.
00:29:52
Speaker
Let me see. Okay. still have to ask mommy and daddy. Like like with the kids. Right. Yeah. Obviously. Yeah. Oh my God. Wait. I'm so like I'm going to think about this for the rest of like the week. I'll talk to them. I'll talk to them. But OK. Let me know. Let me know.
00:30:10
Speaker
But um um anyway. Yeah. Like I told a what. No.
Body Image and Considerations for Surgery
00:30:15
Speaker
Go ahead. Oh, I was just going to like loop back to like if I did ever want to do something for myself, I think Chris would be on board. Like I think I'm going to have to get a tummy tuck for real. Like I'm not front and like I'm going to have to at some point.
00:30:29
Speaker
Well, I joked because I got home and I looked kind of crazy when I got home yesterday. Like I was so bruised and swollen on my lips. And Vinny was like, Vinny's just squeamish. Like I actually don't know how he's watched me push two kids out of my vagina because he's like so squeamish.
00:30:44
Speaker
He could barely look at me yesterday. He was like, oh, it hurts to look at you. Like your lips look crazy. And then he, I joked because we have talked him and I about me getting like my boobs done at some point, like a lift, at least a lift because big titty committee over here is looking very saggy. Okay.
00:31:05
Speaker
And I was like, don't you want me to get my boobs done? Don't you realize that like that recovery is going to be way crazier than this? He was like, yeah. He's like, but I don't see him until after. I was like, sir, that is not how this works.
00:31:18
Speaker
If you're going to like want me to get my boobs done, like, sorry, sir, but you got to be there for the whole ride. There's not like you just get them at the end. Okay. Yeah. And the lift isn't as bad as I thought.
00:31:30
Speaker
Like I've only seen boob job stuff and it looked like there was like tubing involved and stuff. But with the lift, it's not just like, yeah, bruising. I think, I think also I would have enough like meat to just do lift. I think like you'll be fine.
00:31:46
Speaker
ah Yeah, like my boobs are huge. And so, yeah. I just think if I'm ever going to feel comfortable like in a two-piece or something, like I'm going to have to.
00:31:58
Speaker
So. Yeah. It's unfortunate for me. I just. like. So have you mentioned that to Chris? Like, have y'all ever talked about it? You know, I show them all the time. I'm like, look at my stomach. Like it was not like that at all. After Graydon, like raden it looked like nothing happened. I didn't have a stretch mark, nothing. And then all of a sudden with Margo, it's like, what the fuck happened?
00:32:21
Speaker
Like, I don't know. It just was like those back-to-back pregnancies, like kicked my ass. Well, they also say the elasticity of your skin between like, I think it's like 31 and 34. Like that's the biggest decline, which is so crazy because it's like, I don't even feel that old. Like, it's not like, I don't feel like my skin is like that less elastic, but I mean, you've seen my stomach too. It's the same way. It's bad.
00:32:49
Speaker
Well, i've not I've kind of noticed like my under my eyes, like the thinness under my eyes now. And I'm just like, ugh. I'm going to 35 this year. like How did we get here?
00:33:02
Speaker
It's fine. I'm claiming, no. It's fine. We're going to be MILFs, OK? Also, at church yesterday, or Sunday, whenever I was looking around at all of these moms who had like older kids, like they were middle school, maybe late elementary school, maybe high schoolers.
00:33:20
Speaker
And I was like looking around at all these women. I was just like checking it out, you know? And I was like looking at all these women and I was like, you all gorgeous and hot. Like, I don't, i I need to like – and I don't really think i'm deta or I'm attached to like, oh, I'm getting old. I'm getting old. Yeah, me neither. But really seeing all these women, I was like, oh, I have the hottest years of my life left, I think. Like, I don't know. you know, you hear all these people and – women say like, Oh, your forties are literally your best years. And I am just claiming that already. looks so good. Like, yeah, she's 45 and I'm like, you look fabulous. I mean, she gets facials and stuff all the time. She takes really good care of her skin, but she looks so good.
00:34:04
Speaker
Yeah. I'm like, Oh, okay. Like that gives me hope. Even though we have completely different skin types. She has my dad's skin. She had like acne and stuff growing up. Oh, really? oh She is so oily. So she looks really good now.
00:34:20
Speaker
Like it was a little treacherous during her teen years, but now it's like, okay, you look great. And I like never had a pimple in my freaking life and now I'm rinked up, but it's fine.
00:34:33
Speaker
Moisturizer, hydrate hydration. Outset is my freaking life. I love that stuff. It feels so good. and so good. Shout out. Shout out. We love.
00:34:45
Speaker
um But yeah, I don't know. I think there's also this pressure as a mom to like be low maintenance or to like be selfless and natural, you know, it's like, there's this judgment that comes if a mom wants to like have lip injection injections or get their boobs done or get a tummy tuck or do something like a little bit more, i don't know, like focused on them.
00:35:15
Speaker
Yeah. And am just here to break that stigma. Okay. If you want lip injections or you want to do something for you that makes you feel good, like that's important and it should be prioritized because you're going to be a better mom, a better
Importance of Self-Care for Moms
00:35:34
Speaker
person. It is not, uh, self-indulgent. It's not, you're not obsessed with yourself. It doesn't mean anything other than you doing something that feels good for you.
00:35:45
Speaker
And sometimes it takes a while to get there. Like that first yeah year when they're little, it's hard to put yourself first. Very hard. and I mean, we both have experienced that. Like I didn't work out because I rather slept in or, yeah you know, I was like putting different priorities in front of each other. So it's like, I feel like we both are also at a really good point where they're both over one and like, we're kind of able to live a little again.
00:36:12
Speaker
Yeah. So just know like and I hate when. Yeah. If you're still your time is coming, but it is. And if you feel like, well, I can't I don't feel like I can right now, like you will again, you know.
00:36:26
Speaker
Oh, I did when I came home. Um, or when I came home, Alice and Evie were sleeping. And then when they woke up, Evie of course, didn't like say anything or notice anything about my lips, but Alice came out and she was still like kind of sleepy from her nap.
00:36:42
Speaker
And she was staring at me like she was just looking at me. and and I also had ice on my lip. So I was like icing my lip and then I would move the ice to like talk to her.
00:36:52
Speaker
And she was looking at me, looking me. And Mackenzie was laughing so hard because you could see her brain, like, working. Like, what is happening here? And finally she said, your lips look like something.
00:37:05
Speaker
That's what she said. And I was like, mm-hmm. Yep. I think all I said was, yeah. Like, I wasn't even, like, calling attention like, I'm not even going like – Yeah. Get you to tell me what you think I look like. yeah But then this morning, you know, they're super bruised. Like I have lipstick and lip gloss on, so you can't tell, but underneath this, like my lips look like tie They're like purple and blue.
00:37:28
Speaker
Okay. And obviously i didn't have makeup on this morning. And so Alice came out and we were, um I was making her water cup and whatever.
00:37:40
Speaker
And I took a sip out of my water cup and she usually like, we'll ask for a sip of mine. And then I went to go give her a sip and she was like, never mind. I don't want your boo-boos on my water cup. And I was like, fair.
00:37:55
Speaker
Okay. You're like, is that all it takes for us to not fricking share germs? I know oh because I would much rather not backwash into my water cup, honestly. Wow. Think smarter, not harder. You know, sometimes when like Margo's being really clingy, I'll pretend like I'm going to put her hair up and she runs away.
00:38:16
Speaker
That is honestly a mom hack. I'm like, all right, literally I'm going to go get your hair tie. And she's like, ya. Oh my God. Speaking of hair, Alice's has gotten out of control. It's like down to her butt. Like she's starting to look like an Amish child.
00:38:30
Speaker
I gotta to get her a haircut. Her first haircut. Literally. She's like, look, it's so pretty, but it's like looking crazy. Like it's time. Margo's is kind of like doing a little Farrah Fawcett situation. i know. She's a curly girl. very feathered. Like it kind of like swoops in and like flips out. It's she has got Chris's curly hair.
00:38:53
Speaker
It's cute. I also need to say that another reason we should come for 4th of July is that Alice has been asked, like she will actually ask to go to Tennessee to
Alice's Fondness for Graydon
00:39:03
Speaker
see Graydon. Oh, they're so cute.
00:39:06
Speaker
She's like, I really want to go to Tennessee to see Graydon. She also asked me this morning if Graydon's house flooded also. And I was like, no I was like, no, no, She's been, like, asking a lot of questions about the flood recently. Oh. That is, like, interesting. I think she's still trying to figure it out, you know? Honestly, same girl.
00:39:27
Speaker
Still trying to figure it out. I love how she'll, like, randomly bring him up. Like, what's Graydon doing? No, like, she's thinking of him all the time. Like, you should tell him that, honestly. Because he's... Well, when we didn't... When face... Oh, yeah, yeah. i was going to say, when we FaceTimed, like, he was...
00:39:45
Speaker
giddy. Like, i was like, Graydon, are you okay? He was acting like little school boy. Yeah, he was like a little, yeah, yeah. He was like a little shy giddy little school boy.
00:39:59
Speaker
and then he like ran away. was like, Candace, I don't know. He's being crazy. Like he's obsessed with Alice. Oh my God. And then we hung up because she had heard me say like, I think he likes like, and then five minutes later he was like,
00:40:16
Speaker
ah She said something like, Graydon had to go, but he really likes me. was like, okay. i think so. I think so I mean, we're not going to force it.
00:40:28
Speaker
Yeah, we're not going to force it, but like.
00:40:32
Speaker
All right. Well, this is fun. if you want to see my lips, let me know. You'll post some bruised pics. Oh my God, it was a little crazy. It is crazy, but they're looking good now and I'm excited.
00:40:47
Speaker
I need them to calm down because I have a wedding on Friday, so I don't want to be like crazy. I'll probably be perfect by then. Yeah. All right. Well, I love you all.
00:40:57
Speaker
Yes. Love you so much. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday. And don't forget, the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there.
00:41:10
Speaker
All right. Got to go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.