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EP 93: Ask Us Anything
1.8k Plays2 months ago
This week on Mom Group Chat, we’re flipping the script — and YOU are running the show!
We opened up the floor for questions, and you delivered. From funny toddler moments to real talk about relationships and motherhood, we're answering it all.
In this episode, we chat about:
- Dealing with milestones and not comparing yourself to others
- Who is the initiator in the bedroom
- How to get out of the roommate phase
- Have we ever kicked anyone out of the Mom Group Chat Facebook group?
- The craziest things our toddlers have cried about
This episode felt like one big group text with your best friends — no topic was off limits, and you better believe we kept it real.
Thank you for sending in your questions — we had so much fun with this one and definitely want to do it again!
Join the official Mom Group Chat Facebook group: MOM GROUP CHAT FACEBOOK GROUP
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📸 Instagram: @momgroupchat
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Questions/comments/need to vent? Email us at momgroupchat@gmail.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Q&A Announcement
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it. Oh, we're going to get into it. What up moms? I'm Whitney Williams and I'm here with my best friend, Candice, and we are the Mom Group Chat Podcast.
00:00:20
Speaker
I'm ready to answer some questions. Interven. I'm so excited. Okay. So I know we like randomly will post little boxes on our Instagram and we're like, ask us anything. And we haven't done this episode in a while, like probably since July of last year. Like, honestly, I was going to say, I just went back and looked and it's been almost a year since we've done a general q and A. Okay. Yeah.
00:00:42
Speaker
So longer than I thought. I thought, Oh yeah. Okay. Cause the other one we did was when we were together, i think that was in August or July. Anyway, it wasn't the same, same. It was how well do we know each other? yeah, yeah.
00:00:56
Speaker
so Not like an audience Q&A. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, done one of these in a while. And like, obviously we've kind of had an influx of followers. So we got lot of questions. I was like, whoa, this is awesome. And they're really fun. So I'm excited to do this. the questions are good. i was so excited reading through them. I was like, hell yeah, this is going to change my day because I've had an anxious morning. So I literally was like, thank God we're recording and just doing this. It'll make me feel so much better. And I say this all the time, but like when I start my day with Candice,
00:01:27
Speaker
It's the best freaking day. I'm on. Like if I start my day with her, it makes me happy. And then I'm like happy to work and I'm happy to do life. I just
Intimacy in Relationships
00:01:37
Speaker
you. Oh my God. I'm going to clip that and post it as my like testimonial on Instagram. Start your day with Candice.
00:01:44
Speaker
That's your like birthday post every year. Literally. That's so All right. Shall we get straight into it? I'm so excited. i think we should just because there are lot and I want to try and answer as much as we can.
00:01:59
Speaker
Yeah. and Okay. Where do we where do we begin? i know. Okay. Oh, here's one. Who is the initiators in your bedroom?
00:02:11
Speaker
Oh, we're starting out strong. i would say, i think for us it's truly 50, 50. I do too. Yeah, like I think that it's sometimes I feel like we go through seasons like right now. We're definitely in a season where Vinny is the initiator.
00:02:27
Speaker
same my But I also made him freaking like sexy. Oh, you did it. I did it. I mean, I can't post about it. so here, the listeners will know.
00:02:41
Speaker
I made my husband a sexy Easter basket of lingerie and fun sex things, which I told so many people about your response to that. I like told Whitney I was going to do it. I was like...
00:02:54
Speaker
Whitney I think I'm gonna make and he has sexy Easter basket and she was like you mixing sex toys with the rising of the Lord is sending me and I was like oh shoot I forgot literally forgot about Jesus I'm so sorry any other holiday Valentine's Day Christmas but nope let's pick Easter let's do it
00:03:17
Speaker
Oh, I don't know. It just felt right, you know? and you know what? As a Catholic, we are told that our biggest goal is to go on and procreate and make more Catholics in the world. So really, I'm doing what the Lord would want, you know? Hey, you know what?
00:03:33
Speaker
Go you. love Catholics. They're the best.
Summer Plans and Creating Fun Environments
00:03:38
Speaker
ah We're troubled, but it's fine.
00:03:43
Speaker
oh Ugh. um ah you So you guys, you're 50-52, you would say? Yeah, for sure. Do y'all like you go in waves? ah Yeah. um Like right now, I'd say it's mostly Chris.
00:03:57
Speaker
And then, but I'm always, I don't know. I'm always like, yeah. Great idea. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's true. I'm never like, not right now. Unless it is kind of late at night, which he would never. Yeah.
00:04:12
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. um Okay. I'm going to do another like simple one. Summer plans. Okay. Which we have like a summer bucket list for toddler too. So maybe we can mix those.
00:04:26
Speaker
Oh, okay. Oh, wait. You just mean like, what are we doing this summer? I'm doing nothing. Do you have anything planned, like summer trips or anything? No, because Key West and the ski trip were literally back to back. So we were like, we need to pause. And because this is the year that we literally said we are going to focus on doing stuff with the house and like figure out like what we can afford um and not go on trips. And then we like literally went on to back to back we were like,
00:04:59
Speaker
We need to chill out. So we were hoping that like my parents are renovating the lake house. So we were hoping we would spend a lot of time there this summer. With me on 4th of July. With you.
00:05:09
Speaker
Yeah. I floated that past Vinny and he his first jerk reaction was, let's talk about it after Disney because we just have so much oh yeah yeah ah going on that he was like, ah like um and I was like, please don't shoot please don't shoot this idea down. I'm really looking forward to it.
00:05:29
Speaker
You're like, okay, I'll go. Yeah. um Let's see. we have like We have so much going on in the next like five, six weeks. I would say our one thing that we are doing is we're going to Lake Tahoe in the summer this year at the end of August, like right before Labor Day.
00:05:47
Speaker
um So that's it. That's all we have plans. Other than that, like, and think we want to, our summer plans are kind of all house related. Like we want to landscape both the front and the backyard.
00:05:59
Speaker
And we really want to like get a fun summer, like set up for the, for the girls, like splash pads and everything. We're thinking about taking part of our yard right off of the patio and putting down those rubber stones that look like stone, but they're actually soft. um And they don't get hot um in the summertime.
00:06:21
Speaker
And making that almost like a little like play water table, like play dollhouse, you know, stuff like
Parenting Mantras and Milestones
00:06:29
Speaker
that. But yeah, I mean, we can definitely lead this into the summer toddler summer bucket list question.
00:06:36
Speaker
I mean, i I will say one thing about me and Chris is we are not planners. We are last minute people. This is why we never plan trips and we end up our trips into being like weddings or bachelorettes because we are not planners. Like yeah if we have like a inkling to do something, we'll just be like, let's go, you know?
00:06:59
Speaker
But anyway, and toddler bucket list. ah Probably the same as you, like, setting up a fun backyard. Like, we now have a really cool backyard, so I'd love to get, like, a slip and slide this summer. um Yeah.
00:07:14
Speaker
I think this is the year of the sparkler for Graydon. Like, he can hold one for the 4th of July. So, like... Which, you know, I'm a huge 4th of July fan. So I'm like, just something about that. like I know that, um damn, what's that show? Stranger Things is coming back, which is, oh, fuck yeah.
00:07:33
Speaker
Which I honestly- been so long. I'm coming out until fall, though, but- was going to say it's usually kind of closer to Halloween, but... feels like summer to me, that show. Yeah, it does. does. Such a vibe.
00:07:45
Speaker
I love that show. um I'm thinking of, like, all the standard Florida summer things, like beach, yeah lots of pool days, but also, like, going to baseball games. That's, like, something we we've done every summer with the girls. And, like, you know, I love a hot dog, so any...
00:08:04
Speaker
any excuse for me to go and have a beer and a hot dog like I am in. Graydon loved that. We've only done it once and he loved doing that. Yeah. It was so fun. um I think something like a bucket list goal of mine is to host more play dates in our new home, which is another reason I want to like get our backyard really set up is I've just really started to realize how this is the year of realizing things.
00:08:31
Speaker
um No, I, you know that reference? You didn't laugh. So. don't know. I don't know. It went over my head, I guess. Okay. That Kylie Jenner quote when she's like, this is the year of realizing things. It sounds so stupid.
00:08:47
Speaker
Anyways, um I've realized that having like the most enjoyable hosting things are when people with kids with the same age come over and they can just play and entertain themselves.
00:08:58
Speaker
And I want to like, I want to start building that group of people that like come over with your kids. You know what i mean? No, so we've kind of been doing that a lot.
00:09:10
Speaker
Like, now that we have the space and that we're going to have the pool, you just want to collect all the things and just throw it all out there. And you're like, go play, do it. yeah Because now that we have three-year-olds, they kind of entertain themselves with other kids. And you're like, whoa, we've made it.
00:09:27
Speaker
That part of we've made it. Yeah. But okay. ah Here's another question. do you have any mantras you say to yourself on hard mom days?
00:09:40
Speaker
Yes, I do. My favorites are, I mean, and we say them all the time, Olivia's stuff. When the walls feel like they're closing in, break down the walls and go outside. yeah yeah Especially now that it's spring and summer. Like if your kids are freaking out inside, take them outside.
00:09:59
Speaker
Yeah. That's my favorite. Mine, i have a couple. This like if this is going to sound like the most basic mantra of all time, but I literally did it to myself this morning, is I just told myself, like it's not that serious.
00:10:15
Speaker
like It's not that serious. There are so many things I get mad about. like what For example, what happened this morning is Alice woke up at 530 and she was in bed and I was trying to still sleep and she's, you know, in my bed and she got had a muffin and was crumbling her muffin all in our bed.
00:10:31
Speaker
And I was getting pissed about it. I was like, stop it. Um, and then I was like, you know what? This is not that serious. I'm actually pulling our sheets today to wash them. Cause my in-laws are staying here starting tomorrow.
00:10:43
Speaker
So I'm like, I'm literally taking, like, it's not that it's fine. It's not that serious. um So that's a big one for me to just remember that like whatever I'm mad about is typically like clean, cleanable, changeable, whatever.
00:10:56
Speaker
and then. I don't know. I am always using like Shannon's passing as a perspective shift for me. And just to remember that like even these hard moments, like she would give anything to be here for those. And that's something I think about constantly.
00:11:14
Speaker
So um that's definitely like yeah that's a mantra. Like this is the life that like I want to be present for. And like Shannon would give anything to be here for it, you know?
00:11:24
Speaker
For sure. um Okay. Almost 15 month old isn't walking yet. So hard not to compare with the milestones. Advice. This is tough. Yeah, that's hard. um We had a few babies in our group that by 15 months, they still weren't walking. And I think every child is at their own pace, but if it did make you feel better to consult some, someone in PT,
00:11:52
Speaker
Like I think being proactive would make me feel better. 100% agree. yeah I 100, we, um the same way, like in my group, there were definitely a couple of babies who were a little bit behind on the walking.
00:12:09
Speaker
um And I think, I think if not all of them, most of them did end up consulting like an OP or PT and they started that process.
00:12:23
Speaker
You're never going to regret taking action. i don't think, you know, um and all those babies are fine. Like they all walked. Yeah. Some of them just are like, I'm chilling, you know, like let me sit.
00:12:35
Speaker
Okay. For real. So I know it's so hard not to
Playing 'Fuck, Marry, Kill'
00:12:39
Speaker
compare. Just remember that your baby's on its own journey and that it can't hurt to reach out to your pediatrician and talk about options um just to like be proactive.
00:12:52
Speaker
For sure. Yeah. This is a fun one. Fuck, marry, kill the summer house men. I love this. Oh, I'm killing Kyle. Yeah.
00:13:03
Speaker
Same. I'm killing Kyle too. Bye. Okay. The other two. I think i I'd marry West. Really? Cause he's funny.
00:13:14
Speaker
He is funny. You're, you're making me question here. You like Jesse. Marry him. I don't know. Last episode was tough for me. He was really doing some things that were pissing me off.
00:13:28
Speaker
Pissing my ass off. He's got crazy eyes to me. I don't like him. He was giving like douchebag to me. and the And I feel like this answer is controversial. But I i actually think we might be a little compatible. is I think I'm fucking Jesse. And I think I'm marrying Carl. Okay. Okay.
00:13:46
Speaker
Carl is looking a little thin lately. Yeah, but he's so tall that I think it'd be fine if he wants a little short, chunky girl.
00:13:57
Speaker
yeah the You're not. Okay. I guess I'd do it with Carl, even though I don't want to. So you're marrying Wes, killing Kyle, fucking Carl.
00:14:12
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Solid, solid. what if i Wait, what's the new guy's name? Imrule or something. Yeah. What if I was like, I'm marrying Imrule?
00:14:24
Speaker
No, that episode was so funny. They're all like, we're over you. You're disgusting. oh okay. This is something. ah so Someone said, okay, real talk. How much do you push your kids to eat foods that they don't like?
00:14:38
Speaker
I have recently taken a very new stance on this, which is that I don't push them at all. Okay. I don't either. ah Sorry. mar fellow Yeah. I don't with Graydon anymore. Yeah.
00:14:49
Speaker
I don't push with Alice at all because I have found it does nothing. So I am like, I'm done pushing her. And guess what? Like the girl would not touch eggs for like a year. She, you see them when she was little, she stopped eating them.
00:15:02
Speaker
She didn't like them anymore. And just recently, I'm, The girl, i don't know what happened. She just saw them on a plate and took a bite. And now the girl wants eggs at every meal, which, and I swear that that's kind of the cycle of like, once you just let them decide that they're going to start to eat things again, like,
00:15:22
Speaker
And then I really praised her for like eating the eggs. who It's so
Encouraging Children to Try New Foods
00:15:28
Speaker
funny. Like the phase, just like being a first time mom with like Graydon and Alice, like, remember how upset we were? We were like, they used to eat everything. Now we're panicking. Like I was buying a little spoon to try and like hide vegetables in Graydon's meal. Like I was so concerned. And then I had Margo and I was just like, it just like all went out the window.
00:15:47
Speaker
don't care anymore. It's survival. don't care anymore. And Margot eats everything. I'm sure she'll go through a phase where she doesn't. And I, now I know it's like so funny that we're like, yeah, Evie eats everything. And I'm not concerned about her at all. Like anything I put in front of her, she's going to eat. Alice is the one I've always been concerned about, but.
00:16:08
Speaker
The doctor told me at her three-year-old checkup, like, she's fine. And she's her she's just long and lean. And I just don't push anymore.
00:16:19
Speaker
If I'm feeling like she really hasn't had vegetables in a while, my go-to is smoothies. It just is. I will make sure she has a smoothie once or twice a week. She loves them. I hide a bunch of shit in it.
00:16:30
Speaker
And she it's my fix. It's just, like, my crutch. Mm-hmm. I don't know. I say try to not force it and see what happens.
00:16:42
Speaker
Okay. When was the last time you cried? oh I know mine. Okay. Okay. It was ah Monday night.
00:16:55
Speaker
um We're getting specific. It was Monday night. um And I saw this TikTok of this poem that this dad wrote to her to his daughter when she was going off to college. and Poem.
00:17:11
Speaker
You said that funny. Poem. Oh, did I? Poem.
00:17:16
Speaker
Someone else has said that to me. I think Mackenzie has said that to me. poem? A poem, but you said poem.
00:17:26
Speaker
Okay. A poem. um And it was called My Everything Buddy. And it was like the sweetest. Oh, gosh. It made me bawl my fucking eyes out. And Mackenzie was still here. And again, we were sharing a bed.
00:17:38
Speaker
So she walked into the room and I was sobbing in my bed. And she was like, what is going on? And I was like, read this poem. That was the last time I cried.
00:17:50
Speaker
What? I like cried laughing last night. Have you seen the new? okay I did it to Chris this morning. It's this new trend on TikTok. It is so funny where you say, I'm so hungry. i could eat blank, but you say it's like someone random from elementary school.
00:18:11
Speaker
huh I said to Chris this morning, I was like, I'm so hungry. I could eat Ryan McVeigh. Do you remember? Yeah. And Chris goes, what? Like, you know how they react.
00:18:23
Speaker
And I was like, I could eat rotten McVay. And he was like, why him? Like, what are you talking about? And so I like, liked one video and then I got fed like 50 and I was just like crying last night till 1030 watching all these. They are so funny.
00:18:42
Speaker
That's a throwback. Yeah. I know how that he was like, he might turned around and was like, what? He was my chaotic date one year. Oh yeah. His brother's a faint, a famous i know coach.
00:18:56
Speaker
I actually do name drop him a lot. I'm like, I went to a date party with his brother. good for you. good for you He was really nice. He is so nice.
00:19:08
Speaker
Um, okay. Oh gosh. My turn. Sorry. Okay, like I'm going to do a fun one. Okay.
00:19:18
Speaker
Favorite song right now?
00:19:23
Speaker
Let's look. Let me look, I see. Well, was telling Candice I went on this kick of like looking at songs from 2007. And I just downloaded all of them.
00:19:37
Speaker
So I've been playing a lot of those lately.
00:19:41
Speaker
I feel like, do you have yours at the tip of your little tongue? I don't. I've been kind of listening to like old. Oh, actually, it's probably the Dochi song, honestly.
00:19:52
Speaker
like Like Denial is a River. a
00:19:57
Speaker
That's probably it. I really love As by Stevie Wonder right now. That song's so good. Do, do, do, do. to And then I also have been listening to Young
Medium Session and Emotional Connections
00:20:09
Speaker
Jock. So, I mean, it's all over the place. The she has range.
00:20:17
Speaker
I like the way the rims on your Chevrolet smile. All right. um So probably one of those. That's like what I listened to in the car. Remember when like we had newborns and we used to say getting in the car and listening to the music was like the best thing you could ever do?
00:20:34
Speaker
I still kind of feel that way well yeah Margo was had an ear infection like the other week and it was really late like I took her after daycare and then I went and got the medicine it was like seven o'clock at night and the sun was still out and I had my windows down and I was listening to young jock and I was like damn this is noise this is real nice it was wonderful it's still so good I love joy like joy riding and listening to music that's a break for me literally Here's a question for you that I think a lot of people want to know. Recap and thoughts of your meeting with the medium since you never said –
00:21:13
Speaker
I know I've gotten a lot of DMs about that. um And it was so good and so crazy. um Although it was like a little different than what I had anticipated.
00:21:27
Speaker
You know, I booked that medium, no like wanting to hear from Shannon, obviously. and I did. But the 70% of the call was about my dad.
00:21:38
Speaker
And it was my dad coming through, um which I lost my dad 11 years ago. so I knew that that was like a possibility, but just Shannon feels so much more like fresh, you know?
00:21:50
Speaker
But oh my God, it was so crazy. Like she said things that like no one knows. um It was a lot about my mom and messages like from my dad to my mom. My mom has been like, I don't know. I hope she'd be okay with me saying this. She's been struggling a little bit ever.
00:22:06
Speaker
Like, I mean, for a long time, but like specifically the past couple yeah or I would say the, the past year. and um, it was like just messages. I think she desperately needed to hear and I don't know. She said something. She told she like like took that conversation. Oh my God.
00:22:28
Speaker
She loved it. I mean, I sent her the whole recording of it and I let her watch the whole thing. um And my mom was like, I've never been able to put into words like exactly how I've been feeling. And she was, she actually had me cut some of the conversation. Like I trimmed the video for her to show her therapist because she was like, I've never been able to articulate like what I've been feeling and how I've been like feeling about my life. And this is like the most accurate description. um gave me chills.
00:23:03
Speaker
Yeah, it was really. And I, I think that what the medium said was like maybe what my mom needed to hear in order to like move on or like move forward and like approach life a little bit differently. So, um, it was so good.
00:23:19
Speaker
And I mean, she said like crazy specific things, um, about my mom and my dad and their relationship. And she knew my dad's name, which was so crazy. Like she literally said like Robert, Bob, something like that. And was like, yep, that's him.
00:23:36
Speaker
He said that he saw a third baby for me, which was crazy. um she said that she could see me being pregnant. Oh, dear Lord.
00:23:49
Speaker
Like beginning of 2026 even end this year, end of 2025. this year end of twenty twenty five Oh God, I'm not ready. Scared. Scared.
00:24:00
Speaker
You know, she said, ah she was like, obviously like, you know, you do what's best for you. She was like, I do see that. And I, I do see a third baby. And I was like, can you – and she had talked about, like, my dad seeing a third baby, and I, like, jokingly – I was like, can you tell him to please send me a boy?
00:24:16
Speaker
and he ah she said he was like – he's laughing. He's acknowledging that you want a boy. um and so that was really good.
00:24:27
Speaker
It was so good. um i did – the last, like, 20 minutes, I did connect with Shannon. um And, like, the immediate first thing she said to me, like As soon as we switched to talking about Shannon, and she was like, she's sending you lots of butterflies, like so many butterflies, which like, if you know anything about my like grief experience, I see butterflies constantly. They land on my window here in the office.
00:24:51
Speaker
But what's crazy is both at my old house and my new house, there are butterflies on my window. um I see them constantly when I'm walking. a lot of the time there's two of them together, which I – I see as Shannon and Avery.
00:25:07
Speaker
um She like acknowledged that I have kind of stepped into a big sister role for Hannah and like a surrogate daughter for her parents, which she said like warms her heart and like she loves and it's like a natural role for me. And she's so grateful for everything I've done for like her sister and her family, which like makes me so happy.
00:25:30
Speaker
to like hear that because I'm i'm never ever trying to like no take in this place or anything. like It's so natural for you to do that. Yeah. So, um, and it was just so good. Oh, she acknowledged that I spoke at the funeral and that Shannon loved my speech and that I said all the right things, which is crazy. Cause like, that's, you know, I, I feel like a lot of the people, if, if mediums are not your thing, like that's fine.
00:25:54
Speaker
yeah, That's, you know, a lot of people's like argument is like, oh, they could have found that on social media or like whatever. But like, I don't think it was anywhere that I spoke at her funeral.
Health Journeys and Groundhogging
00:26:06
Speaker
Like, I don't know how she would know that. I did not talk about it. I've never posted about it. Like, you know, um, yeah.
00:26:14
Speaker
and she said that she was like sitting there in the front row, like she was watching the whole thing and she's around me all the time. She mentioned that she's like flickering lights and shit all the time. um and yeah, so it was so good. If that's something that you're into and you want the mediums information, I'm happy to share. She was so incredible.
00:26:36
Speaker
She really, it's also like, I don't know. Like she says in the beginning, she was like, I connect with angels, spirits, and like people from the other side. Like she is kind of religious in a way. Like she's not like super woo-woo. Like she also –
00:26:54
Speaker
like, feels into health. ah I don't know. She also, like, referenced all the question marks around, like, Shannon's death, which I thought was interesting. And, like, she, like, acknowledged that there were, like, question marks.
00:27:08
Speaker
oh Oh. Yeah. So, I don't know. It was so good. If you're interested in, like, her information, I'm happy to share. um You can DM me and I'll, like, send you the link.
00:27:19
Speaker
um I did a 60-minute call, but she even has, like, 30-minute calls if you, like, want to do that. So highly recommend if you're like seeking closure or like want to just like connect a little bit. I don't know. I loved it.
00:27:32
Speaker
I want to do it again, honestly. Yeah. I'm so glad you did that. We talked so much to my dad that I was like, all right, like I got someone else to talk to. Can we move on? laugh You're like elbowing your dad out. You're like, dad,
00:27:45
Speaker
No, I literally had to stop her and be like, this is great. I'm so happy that we had this conversation, but like, I need to talk to someone else. So sorry, dad.
00:27:56
Speaker
I knew they would be arm wrestling over you. Yeah. But my dad really had messages to get to my mom. He was like, I have to go first. And I'm so happy he did because the things he said, i think really like, and the medium said like, this message is going to change your mom's life. And I was like, well, that's what it kind of seems like. Like it was like a desperate plea. Like, yeah, please let me help her.
00:28:23
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. So it was crazy. He's probably been like sitting there like, please someone come through so I can tell your mom. Yeah. Yeah. Great. ah Okay.
00:28:35
Speaker
Thanks for sharing that. Of course. I'm an open book with that kind of stuff. And just don't come for me if it's not your thing. Like everyone has their own. thing.
00:28:46
Speaker
Um, okay. I was going to do, what's your favorite thing about your new homes?
00:28:57
Speaker
I don't know, like a specific room.
00:29:05
Speaker
i like, don't know. Maybe Margo's room every time. um So cute. Either that or like, I really like having my own office, which I kind of did in the other room, but or other room, other house. But it was like off my bedroom. It was like also like a baby playroom, which we never played in.
00:29:27
Speaker
yeah it was like a half situation. Yeah. So having my own actual space and it feels like adult is kind of cool. Well, my answer is also my office.
00:29:40
Speaker
We have our own little room. Yeah. Like I was really missing that once we had Evie at our old house. So for me to have my own designated room and like if you were to see my desk right now, it's definitely turned into also like a beauty room. It's like where I do my makeup and – I'm using our master closet's really small. So like most of my clothes are in here. It almost just feels like my own personal like space.
00:30:03
Speaker
So that's definitely my favorite thing for sure. that funny? We're like looking for a sanctuary. Like what's. No, literally. out. Yes. What are you guys doing exactly on your groundhog journey?
00:30:18
Speaker
Or maybe just like an update. Because we both started in like January, February when I had my mental breakdown of holy shit, what is going on with me? Like, am I depressed? yeah Is it seasonal depression?
00:30:31
Speaker
I've let myself Yeah. yada yada. I mean, for me, it was just a literally like Shannon flipped the light switch for me. Yeah. Flickered that light.
00:30:44
Speaker
She, um, I don't know, something in me was just like, I can't feel like this anymore. think it was like, honestly, new year's. Um, I was in a picture with some girlfriends and I was so unhappy anyway.
00:30:56
Speaker
Um, I've just been doing weight watchers, like a calorie deficit, honestly. And, yeah same um I've been going really the only exercise I've been doing is walking just because like I hurt my knee last summer and it was like nothing significant, but it kind of scared me. I heard it from running. So I've been like, honestly kind of scared to push myself. I, so I just go walking. Like I'll walk two and a half to four miles a day.
00:31:22
Speaker
um and I have now lost 20 pounds since January, like middle amazing. Honestly, the exact same. I also joined Weight Watchers, which is like an old trustee for me. Me too.
00:31:38
Speaker
I did it back in 2016 and then I kept the weight off for years and years that way. I just, and Weight Watchers has also changed a lot since like Back in the day, it really is just like a calorie deficit. And it makes just makes you so aware about portions. um I think that's my biggest change is like I still kind of eat what I want, but I try to eat like half exactly of what I did.
00:32:03
Speaker
I also think the past – couple months, like I've just been more active and not even like in a workout way. Cause I really haven't, it's just been like, we've been out and about more. Like I've been, I think maybe cause we're in our own space. Like I'm just like, okay, we're moving, we're going like, um,
00:32:23
Speaker
I've been ah walking and I sometimes will go to the gym with the girls because they can go into the childcare, but not super consistently. The biggest change for me is my eating and eating a lot less.
00:32:37
Speaker
um And I'm also, I think I'm down 18, right? pounds since January one, which feels really good. i still have a little bit to go that i and i definitely have plateaued a little bit because I've been, I have to, I like looked at weight watchers. I only lost three pounds last month in like the, light it shows you the last 30 days. And I was like, well, I also like, this is such a hard time. Like you such a hard time to lose weight because like We've been saying this is when the weekends get filled up with things to do. And then it's summer. And like, I just let myself like live ah little, but I'm glad I'm at this point already. Like I also still have, like, if I want to be at the weight I was before Graydon, I have 10 more pounds to lose. Like, I'm not going to lie.
00:33:26
Speaker
I mean, I, just being transparent. Like I want to lose at least 20 more. Like I feel it it feels possible for the first time. Like I definitely am at a weight I haven't seen in a while, like a really long time. That is a great way to put it.
00:33:42
Speaker
But it, yeah, finally, it doesn't feel so far away. Like yes, 20 pounds is a lot, but it doesn't feel like I can't do it now. Like before it felt like I'll never get there again.
00:33:54
Speaker
Yeah. yeah It's a good place or it's a good way to feel. And I'm glad, like I tell Candice all the time, like, I'm so glad we're doing this together. Having an accountability buddy is like, I think one of the keys to success. Like it, it helps motivate and like we get to celebrate each other and,
00:34:12
Speaker
Yeah, that I was going to say that is a huge key is just like having a friend to do it with. I don't know.
Maintaining Healthy Marriage Dynamics
00:34:18
Speaker
We talk about groundhogging so much on this podcast. If you're new here, that's like a joke because we said we were going to evolve this spring like the groundhog and see our own shadow and like that whole thing.
00:34:30
Speaker
I feel like next year or maybe even end of this year, we should do like an accountability group like groundhog. group like in a Facebook or a group chat or something i don't know let us know if you'd be interested interested in something like that we're clearly not like it would not be any sort of like fitness coaching or anything it just like true accountability group you know what's funny is like um I'm at the weight I'm at and I'm like so happy but like 20s me would be appalled
00:35:03
Speaker
It's so funny. Oh, yeah. I just, yeah I feel so good because I haven't felt this way in like four years. I'm like, I'm looking fucking good, baby. But if it was me and like when I was 25, I'd be like, oh, my God, you know, like I will say one like goal I have moving forward between now and like end of June is like, I just want to start lifting weights more consistently, like to give, give, give me some definition. i feel like I've definitely lost weight and I can tell, but I, I,
00:35:38
Speaker
I notice a huge difference in my body when I'm like lifting weights. So that's like my next phase of this for sure. That's what makes me miss orange theory because like it forced me to do 30 minutes of that.
00:35:51
Speaker
And I can't make myself do it here. i won't. Yeah. But Orange Theory also makes you run on the treadmill. Oh, gosh. yeah that No, that's like my favorite part. and But that's where I got injured.
00:36:06
Speaker
So I've been scared to go back. And I love the I love like I'm an Orange. I was an Orange Theory freak, but been too scared. Anyway. Yeah. Next. um Let's see.
00:36:21
Speaker
Is merch still coming? Yes, it is. Yeah. Um, and it's coming a lot sooner than you think, hopefully, um, in the next, I'm going even just say it it's in the next two months or month, even you're going to be hearing more about it.
00:36:40
Speaker
So stay tuned, my friends, it is still coming. Um, and I can't, we can't wait to share it with you.
00:36:49
Speaker
Have you ever had to block someone from the Facebook group? I saw this question and it's juicy. um Yes, I have. um I but have blocked a couple people, obviously, not obviously, but. There's like some bots that slip through. oh my God. There are some crazy bots that are always trying to get in the group.
00:37:11
Speaker
I just always look at the date they joined Facebook. If it's in the last week, no, sorry, you're not joining. And you got to answer the questions to get in.
00:37:21
Speaker
And also like you have to be a woman and a mom. I'm sorry. It just, we're not letting you in if you're a man, no men allowed. Um, and I've also had to block some people who have like posted spam or,
00:37:38
Speaker
like have tried to sell things in the group. um I blocked that one girl. well Actually, like a little so okay no we don't I don't know if I want to go there, I guess, but she made a comment about Shannon that.
00:37:55
Speaker
Nictor. I'm like, sorry, bye. um Okay. So yes, we have.
00:38:05
Speaker
But 99% of everyone in there is amazing and incredible. So, okay. I like this one. What do y'all do to help you connect back to yourself after work and momming?
00:38:19
Speaker
This is so hard. This is like, you have to be so intentional. And I think it kind of goes back to what we talked about in the last episode, like where I talked about getting lip injections of just like doing something that you want to do.
00:38:32
Speaker
And I think it's important to save time for, and I'm not even talking about something like a procedure or like an investment, whatever. I'm talking literally as like, I really want to watch Love is Blind. Yeah.
00:38:45
Speaker
today and like do that or whatever. It could be something that small or like a hobby you've been wanting to learn. Like I want to take a dance class or like, I think it's important to just like do things that have nothing to do with being a mom that you genuinely want to do.
00:39:04
Speaker
And the other thing I'm going to say is like girlfriends, hang out with your girlfriends, go on a girl's trip, do something that like gets you social with other women. And like, I don't know. I just, nothing makes me feel more like my pre-baby self than like hanging out with other girls and like just being a girly swirly, you know? It's the freaking best. it It recharges me. This is why talking to Candice recharges me. But I take this question as like,
00:39:32
Speaker
At the end of the day, after you worked and then you had to mom for a few hours, like, what do you do? And for me, it's either brain rot, which is screens, my favorite hobby, or something that like, you know, a lot of our life sometimes feels out of control.
00:39:51
Speaker
But the things that I can control is like, I like cleaning my house or going on a walk, which I always say. But yeah. I don't know, something about waking up to a clean house because I'm the one working here and like working from home. Like it feels good if my house is clean. Almost like I can't start my homework until my house is clean type thing. Yeah. I can't start work until my house is clean.
00:40:14
Speaker
Yeah. I totally get that. Not a question, but please keep keeping it real. Marriage dynamics. So helpful in the small kid era.
00:40:25
Speaker
Okay. So that I feel like that goes hand in hand with another question that a couple other
Favorite Foods and Guilty Pleasures
00:40:30
Speaker
ones we have in here. Like, how do you feel you get out of the roommate phase as toddler parents? Oh, yeah. And, like, the truth is, is, like, sometimes it just be like that, honestly. like I feel like what works for Vinny and I is like to just acknowledge it, to just be like, this is, this week is hard.
00:40:48
Speaker
Like we love each other. Like I will be like, I love you so much, but this week is hard. I'm stretched thin. We leave tomorrow or like whatever it is. Maybe set an intentional date for yourself a couple weeks when like things look like they may be a little bit slower or like if your kids are sick right now or not sleeping or something like that, like just know that like,
00:41:10
Speaker
It's going to be tough. Okay. You're not going to be exactly like swooning over your husband or him swooning swooning over you. It's like, let's go out in three weeks when this ear infection has cleared and we're like a sleeping again and we can like go out and have an actual conversation.
00:41:27
Speaker
The sick thing is so real. You don't realize how bad they feel until like they're better. and you're like, oh my God, no one. like Oh my God. Yeah. That's how I feel about Evie. Oh my God.
00:41:38
Speaker
Like to keep it real, Chris and I actually had like a come to Jesus conversation recently. And I've told Candace about this. um It was so needed. Like,
00:41:50
Speaker
I felt like we were doing the passing of the ships in the night situation. Like I was just mad at him and I couldn't figure out why. And he was mad at me and i didn't really know it. And so like, I finally, like we were alone for once and I finally, I was just like, what's going on with us? Like this feels weird.
00:42:14
Speaker
And he just like spewed and I was shocked because I was like, you weren't ever gonna like say none of this to me like you had to wait for me and he's like you know I don't like to talk about this but i was like oh my god like you have so much to say yeah and um we hadn't like we don't go to therapy I think it's amazing we just don't like I feel like it was a therapy session like We needed to have that come to Jesus so bad that ever since then, and like, we like let it all out on the table and we were just like, what the fuck is going on?
00:42:54
Speaker
Um, ever since that conversation, like we just told each other what, like we were missing from one another. ah mine just being like, I want more like love and affection. Like I know we're both spread thin, but like acknowledge me.
00:43:09
Speaker
say hello, hug me, like I want to hug, you know, like we just were just in this like crazy phase. And like ever since then, i was like, whoa, like i maybe that was why I was like feeling so sad in January. yeah Like we were not connecting.
00:43:27
Speaker
And, um, I do realize that now, like now that like, I'm feeling like, oh, we're like in a loving relationship again. Like I feel this connection. I'm like, wow, I really was like not doing okay.
00:43:40
Speaker
And I feel so much better. Like yeah we're on the same page and, and did that. So yeah. Sometimes it is just like, sketch like i know it sounds like a work thing, but it's like scheduling a conversation.
00:43:55
Speaker
Like there are definitely times where I've been like, Vinny, you and i after bedtime tonight, we're not, like I will, I've literally been like, I'm not cooking tonight. We're going talk instead. We'll order dinner and you and I need to have a conversation. And it's just like getting it, like yeah putting it all out there and having a talk. And almost always that will like fix something.
00:44:16
Speaker
It's hard. i Like, I totally understand now why they say, like, 50% of marriages fail, like, but when your kids are between the ages of, like, one and five.
00:44:27
Speaker
Because it is fucking survival sometimes. Like... I know. And it's weird because like Chris and I like don't fight, but it was almost like we were letting this like lag happen for too long. And then it was just like, what are we even mad at each other about anymore?
00:44:42
Speaker
And like, I was just being nitpicky to be nitpicky or something. um And it just was like a better understanding conversation. um I'm just so glad we had it because I feel so much better. Like overall, but yeah, i don't know maybe, yeah.
00:44:59
Speaker
A nice little chitty chatty. um It might not be nice. I cried, but.
00:45:06
Speaker
Yeah. but That was the last time i heard I cried if we're bringing that guy up. But yeah. um Okay. Have you guys gone on vacays with friends and kids? do you prefer that or going with fam?
00:45:21
Speaker
I've done both. i think it depends. i Yeah, I think it depends on the family. that and and the situation. shown Yeah, the situation.
00:45:32
Speaker
i think traveling with someone or traveling with another family can can be great or it can be hard.
Disney Trip Plans and Post-Baby Wardrobes
00:45:41
Speaker
And think you really need to know these people and be on the same with – Like how we're handling stress, how we're like disciplining, how we're like, I don't know.
00:45:57
Speaker
I think sometimes if you're not on the same page, it can end up being like this awkward, like, oh, y'all are going to take a break. We were going to continue to, you know, I don't know.
00:46:08
Speaker
I've definitely had... situations like that i loved they i like vacationing with you obviously i love i think what i've learned is like having that separate space to give everyone a break yeah um i even though that was like the hard part like we had to separate at night um you know, because we couldn't hang out after the kids went to bed. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, that was the part that sucked.
00:46:35
Speaker
But everyone just needs that. Yeah. Let's refresh. um But we've also done it where we were in a small condo, and actually it was fine, but...
00:46:46
Speaker
Yeah. know It just depends. Yeah. Um, I do think as they get older, as the kids get older and can really be independent with another child, I think that will be, is game changing. And like, I will prefer that.
00:47:00
Speaker
Um, so true. So yeah. Yeah. I think when you have toddlers, like And like you have little ones that nap. Like, I don't know. It just can be like, oh my God, well, this person's not napping and they're waking up my kid. Like it just can be a whole lot, like a little bit of a stressor. So I think even though it like saves money to get the same place, like it's almost like, I don't know.
00:47:24
Speaker
Yeah. Nice to have a separate spot. Let's do an easy one. What is your favorite food right now? Ooh.
00:47:36
Speaker
I feel like it's always the same. Pizza. I love pizza. Or french fries. I'm so healthy. Although i have been really into a Caesar salad. Like i fucks with a Caesar salad recently.
00:47:51
Speaker
and i and a crispy sauvignon blanc. Yeah, literally. That sounds so good. I want that right now. That's great. Me Ooh, what's your guilty pleasure?
00:48:07
Speaker
Maybe the sexy books, which i I... was on a kick there for a minute where I was reading... a lot because I finished all the ACOTAR books and I'm now I've started Throne of Glass which is like I'm just getting started but it's a commitment yeah yeah no that's a good answer what's my guilty pleasure why do I like immediately think of food though I'm like I know I like to indulge and eat all the time hmm what's my guilty pleasure
00:48:45
Speaker
Honestly, i think it's soda. Like, I fucks with the soda. Root beer, Dr. Pepper. I love root beer. Sometimes if I just need a little treat, I'll just go to Wawa and ah get a little something. Are you, like, from 1940? Like, what is that? and little is I just go to so get a soda pop.
00:49:09
Speaker
Yeah. yeah
00:49:14
Speaker
I wish I had an answer for this, but it's like, what's the funniest, most unhinged reason your toddler had a tantrum recently? Like, I wish I can't even. Oh, I know. I know Alice's. It happened this morning. So I got a, okay.
00:49:29
Speaker
Months ago, i bought tissues that had the Vicks vapor rub in them. And Alice hated them. She called them spicy tissues. Okay.
00:49:39
Speaker
Because they smell like Vicks, which I love those tissues. I did a grocery order yesterday and I got tissues delivered and they had the same puffs green wrapping as, but they were not with Vicks. They were just puffs plus with lotion or whatever.
00:49:56
Speaker
The way the girl burst into tears about spicy tissues. She was like, mommy, those are spicy. And she went on and on. And I was like, girl, these are normal tissues. And I held them up to her face and I was like, smell.
00:50:11
Speaker
And she would, she was like pushing me away and throwing like the craziest temper tantrum about the tissues being spicy. I was like, you are unwell. Like I'm, I don't know what to And then she wouldn't let me wipe her nose with the tissues. Like regardless, it was so annoying.
00:50:27
Speaker
They're like fighting everything. I can't even remember, to be honest. I don't have a story. yeah wish I did. That he be mad at everything. Okay, this is a super quick one. What's your most used emoji?
00:50:45
Speaker
Probably a side laughing one. Okay. My two right now that I feel like are the most used are the handshake. I don't know why. I use that all the time. I'm like, yes. Nice doing business with you.
00:50:58
Speaker
And then i love the salute. vi Vinny and I like send that as a yes, sir, type thing. Yes, sir. Okay. Have you guys done Disney yet with kids? And when do you plan on doing it We've talked about this, I feel like.
00:51:16
Speaker
This question is for me because we go in two weeks from tomorrow. And I am so excited. i have the cutest Disney stuff that's actually behind me. I need to like, I'm going to post a little Disney haul of the cute stuff I bought. We're staying for four days. So it's like legit. don't know.
00:51:34
Speaker
This is with your... Okay. I was like, I kind of forgot you were doing this, honestly. It's like turned into a bigger thing than it was. Originally, it was... Okay. So this is what's crazy about Disney, and this is how they get you, is we're going with my in-laws. that was um That was Alice's birthday gift from my in-laws, is going to Disney, and it was just for two days.
00:51:59
Speaker
But it is cheaper... to buy a three-day ticket to Disney, a three- or four-day ticket to Disney than it is to buy a single day, which is so crazy, or a two-day.
00:52:10
Speaker
So we ended up buying. And also, I'm going next weekend to my friend Keller's 30th birthday, and we're going to Epcot and drinking around the world, which RIP me for that because mixing alcohols for me these days is like not fun.
00:52:25
Speaker
And I'm so scared for that drinking around the world. But, um, I needed a four day ticket because now we're going, like i bought the girls three day tickets. So we're going Thursday with my mom and brother Friday with his parents. And then Saturday, just me and Vinny and the girls as a fam. Um,
00:52:42
Speaker
So we're doing Magic Kingdom. I ended up getting us a spot at Cinderella's Table. So eating breakfast in the castle with the princesses. um We're staying at the Contemporary. It's like, I'm very excited. It's ended up. oh ah And then Saturday we're going to do, we have our Friday morning. We have brunch at Chef Mickey's and, um,
00:53:10
Speaker
We're going to a pool day Saturday, and we'll be back Sunday, which Sunday is Mother's Day. So i am I'm just so excited. I'm so excited. I will share all my tips.
00:53:21
Speaker
um I already have some tips. I don't know. If anyone's going to Disney soon, you can DM me. And maybe we've talked about doing a full Disney episode where I can kind of share some things. And my brother is a huge Disney guy, so That's something am happy to share some of his tips as well. So I'm jealous. I do plan on going. um It's just obviously a little harder for me.
00:53:46
Speaker
um i feel like if I'm just down there since Candace is so close, it's like if it just popped up like hell yeah, it would jump at the opportunity, but I feel like I'm gonna have to plan it a little and if I had to choose an age.
00:53:58
Speaker
I'd probably wait like one more year or like maybe next year when Graydon's like four and a half and she's two and a half. you know I feel like we should go next October. Have you ever been in October for like the Halloween stuff?
00:54:12
Speaker
Of course I have. Of course I have. I feel like that is the perfect time for you. You love Halloween. went on my 14th birthday and for Halloween one year. um And it was the best.
00:54:29
Speaker
It's like cooler. It's less busy because school has started back and there's not like a ton of... I feel like that would be the move us. could give that to Graydon for his birthday. That's what I'm saying. we could wake up the next day and be like, we're going to Disney.
00:54:44
Speaker
oh i have chills i have a goose bump literally okay just a thought okay got uh that's a great idea yeah we're going to disney or um and i'm so excited and then mario will be three yep we'll meet you there whoa that's nuts that's a great idea actually Yeah.
Conclusion and Future Engagement
00:55:12
Speaker
Seems far away though. That sounds sad. I know. I guess that's the first time I went, I was five.
00:55:18
Speaker
Yeah. I feel like that's a good time. I probably wouldn't go and like we're just 45 minutes away. So it's like, right. It's like, okay, if you just happen to go, that's what I'm saying. Yeah.
00:55:29
Speaker
if I'm going to plan, that's probably a great idea. Yeah. yeah um Okay. Should we do one more Okay. Sure. Okay. o moss Oh, okay.
00:55:40
Speaker
I'm going to choose this one. This girl said, do you ever fit into your clothes again after having a baby or do I need a new wardrobe? And I am here to tell you to get a new wardrobe.
00:55:50
Speaker
Girl, throw... You don't even... When you... it Let's say you do... lose the weight or feel good again, you don't even, you're not going to want your old ass clothes. I'm telling you, I have recently done some investing in some good clothes. Newly is also a great option. I have gotten some amazing things from newly and I just, you, it's a discount to keep them. It's like shopping.
00:56:15
Speaker
I'm telling you, I mean, it's fine if you want to keep some like of your favorite investment things that you had before, but like your Amazon dress, get rid of it.
00:56:26
Speaker
Buy a new one. Buy something better. Honestly, like... I have so much clothes. I cannot get rid of all of them. um I will say, let me just stand here and say, Margo is almost 20 months old in however many days.
00:56:44
Speaker
I am just now fitting in my clothes again. Okay? Yeah. And before that, I only fit into it for like a second because I got pregnant again when Graydon was 14 months old. Yeah.
00:56:57
Speaker
so number one, like if it takes you three months to get back to you, if it takes 20 months to get back to you, like it is what it is. We just like had a baby.
00:57:10
Speaker
It's a miracle loving life. exactly Um, I have just recently started buying some new stuff because I finally liked the way I look in clothes again, but I still have a lot of my stuff. Cause I like a lot of my clothes.
00:57:27
Speaker
So, yeah um, I don't know. It just takes time. It's hard. I mean, there's, there's a long time for me. So, yeah. Yeah. It takes me a minute to get my act together.
00:57:40
Speaker
Sorry, I need to like make one little asterisk about my my point about this. it I think it depends on your wardrobe. I personally had like a wardrobe filled with a lot of like cheap Amazon shit that I just am like, I don't even want this.
00:57:55
Speaker
Yeah. You know, like there are definitely nicer things that I have kept that I'm like, okay, i do want to try to fit into that or like whatever. But I think it depends on your wardrobe.
00:58:06
Speaker
You know, it's kind of fun to to like put it back on and it finally fits again. You're like, I'm back, bitch. It's a great feeling. um But like I said, 20 months and I'm finally here. Yeah. Give yourself some grace and time for sure.
00:58:26
Speaker
All right. Well, I love you. Honestly, we we could do a part too because there are still so many questions that were not asked. So I feel like we'll hold on to this and maybe if y'all like this and you want a part two, because there are still some good ones on here that I'm like, damn, I wish I'd answered that.
00:58:41
Speaker
Maybe we can put it on some of these answers on Instagram too or something. Oh, that's a good idea. And we'll say like the rest of these are being answered on the app. Sounds good.
00:58:53
Speaker
I love you. ah love you. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday. And don't forget, the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there.
00:59:06
Speaker
All right. Got to go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.