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Banning Homework and Why Playing Matters with Lizzie Assa @theworkspaceforchildren
1.4k Plays1 year ago
Does play really matter with Lizzie Assa, play expert, parenting strategist and creator of The Workspace For Children.
In this episode Beth and Lizzie talk about play- playing for big kids, playing in the school day, how to set up play for babies and more. We talk about how Lizzie's dream is to outlaw homework and Beth agrees and what to actually do about it.
Follow Lizzie on instagram: The Workspace For Children
Follow Beth instagram: Big City Readers
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Transcript
Introduction to Lizzie, the play expert
00:00:11
Speaker
I'm so excited to have you the parenting and play expert and everybody I'm sure already follows you. But do you want to introduce yourself for those who might be brand new? Sure, I'm Lizzie. I'm a mom of three. I'm the founder and the creator of the workspace for children. And you can mostly find me on Instagram. But my real mission in life is just helping people bring play into their home for
00:00:37
Speaker
really lifelong play. I want like babies and kids to start playing, but I want them to hold, to build and hold onto that habit for a lifetime. I love that. And okay, I have a question already.
Why is play important for everyone?
00:00:49
Speaker
I already have a question. What do you think about play like for adults? Do you, do you like think about that? Do you talk about that?
00:00:55
Speaker
I think about it all the time and I don't talk about it professionally because I'm not an expert in that. However, it is so connected and the more your kids play, the more we get to play as adults and the more we get to play as adults, the better we can show up in our life. So it really does come full circle.
00:01:14
Speaker
It does. It's something I asked that because it's something that I've been thinking about recently because I am a big believer in like play-based education and like playing is learning. Playing is how kids grow. People think like, oh, they're just playing or, oh, we go to a preschool that's just play. It's like, oh my gosh, that's great. You're so lucky. But I think there's a lot of misconceptions about play, but I also was thinking about it for myself because I think we've talked about this before, but I always try to put myself
00:01:43
Speaker
into like beginner's mind. So, um, mindset so that I can like know what kids are going through. And so I'm always trying to learn something new. So like right now I'm playing paddle tennis, which somebody recently was like, is that like ping pong? I'm like, Oh no, it is way harder. Have you ever played paddle tennis? Is it like pickle ball?
00:02:02
Speaker
No, pickleball is so much easier. Paddle tennis is harder than tennis. So pickleball is ping pong, but paddle tennis is shorter court tennis and you play off the walls and certain bounces. Oh, yes, I know what that is.
00:02:18
Speaker
Yeah, you're going to get really good shape. Well, thank you. I hope so. But I'm playing because I'm doing this because I want to get in the mindset of what kids are going through. But then I have this, I'm thinking about play. And one of my friends loves to read about
Debunking myths about play
00:02:34
Speaker
play. And she said there's three things that need to happen for something to count as play. It's flow connection.
00:02:45
Speaker
And playfulness. So I was like, oh, okay. So for an adult, like, I'm like, am I in the flow? Like, I'm not like checking my phone. Am I in like, am I like connecting with someone that I care about or like connecting with myself?
00:02:57
Speaker
And is it like lighthearted? Is it like, does it feel like intense or does it feel like, oh, this is just like not that big of a deal. And I think that that kind of can transfer it like to kids playing, right? Like that's what we want to see them in the flow and all that. So I'm wondering what your thoughts are around those three things, or if you have the big three that like, oh my gosh, this is what kids need to be to be getting all the benefits of play.
00:03:22
Speaker
I mean I want to even make it easier and take the pressure off and tell you you don't even need a big three. I mean if you literally just look in the dictionary the definition of play is really just to do something for enjoyment. That's that's all you know it's it's that you're not
00:03:38
Speaker
focused on the outcome, right? But it sounds so simple, except I really feel like so many parents and teachers get really caught up in trying to figure out what the outcome of the play is, which is so disruptive of what the play was supposed to be in the first place.
00:03:54
Speaker
That's so true. And I wonder, you know, it's, it's kind of funny. I feel like we're, we do so much like explanation of play, but it's just like, it's just enjoyment. So like, what do people ask you? What are people like, what are people coming to you for? Like about, is it about play or is it like, am I doing enough play? Like, what's the big thing people come
Understanding individual play styles
00:04:15
Speaker
to you about? I mean, I think.
00:04:17
Speaker
huge thing that I talk to with my private clients on Instagram all the time is that play can really look different for each unique individual. And I feel like in this world, we live in such a visual world, right? With like Instagram and TikTok. And so as parents, we got really like brainwashed into thinking our child's play should look a certain way in order for it to be productive or for them to get value out of it, right?
00:04:41
Speaker
but that's actually not the case and I want to challenge you to really think about like think about your best friend. Do they play the exact same way you do? Mine doesn't. I mean like I want to like chill out on the couch and like maybe like have some wine and be left alone where like my best friend loves to take a dance class and like cold punch and be really active.
00:05:02
Speaker
But for both of us, that's really the enjoyment. So that play looks different, but we're both getting the same thing out of it, right? So for your child, sure, some kids really love play for them really does look like building with locks or
00:05:18
Speaker
you know, playing pretend with dolls. But for some kids, play really looks like bouncing a ball against the wall or laying on their bed and singing and reading or zoning out or telling stories. You know, oftentimes people will say to me, my kid, you know, like, I try independent play, but they really are just like laying on their floor, like singing. They're not like doing anything. And I'm like, wait, let's back it up. Yeah, let's back it up. They don't have to be playing.
00:05:45
Speaker
or creating something with crayons. It's really what's bringing enjoyment and relaxation to that. Yes. That's, that's like a really good point too, I think to remember is, and I've done this, I've been the classroom that is like, everything is so like set up and curated and the bulletin boards and all these things. But like what it actually needs is like, is it accessible for kids to get the thing that they need? Are they able to play? Are they able to,
00:06:12
Speaker
Are there open-ended areas that they can just create in? And I think that even teachers, parents, everybody thinks like it needs to look a certain way or like that it needs to be this sensory bin that has like corn kernels and tiny people that are, you know, digging. And it's like, actually your bowl of water and a cup is fine. Like your sink, your bath time. Like at any time that we can let them explore is, is important. Is that what you're saying?
00:06:42
Speaker
Absolutely. And I think you really actually hit the nail on the head when you said like, can kids access what they need, right? Because that need is going to look different for each child. And so if you're a parent and you have like three kids, they all actually need different things. Or if you're a classroom teacher of 22 kids, they all need different things. And so the more structured and the more, you know, you have like that very specific little person digging in the corn kernels, the fewer children will be able to access what they need from that. Whereas
00:07:12
Speaker
if you have something like an open-ended bin of scrap paper and some scissors or a bowl of water, like you said, with some cups, that can become whatever the child needs it to be in that moment. That gives access to all different personalities to access their own play, right? But when we're structured and we're creating these super specific craft projects, that's not what's happening. You're not giving access to all children to play.
Encouraging creativity through simple play setups
00:07:41
Speaker
Yeah and I know you share a lot of like tips because I feel like I feel like it takes a lot like so people might be listening to this and I'm like yeah sure but like what do you mean just like set out a pair of scissors like what do I do like how what would you say to either a parent or a teacher that wants to bring more play into their room like how how would you say like okay if I don't have to have it so perfect then what what's like the very first easiest thing I could do what could I set up?
00:08:06
Speaker
I'm going to give you a teacher example from back in the day when I taught preschool in New York City. And at one table, there was whatever the craft was that day. And a teacher was sitting there, and they were helping the kids do the specific project to learn the specific skill and whatever it is. And then next to that, I put out a open shelving with scrap paper, some recycling garbage, lots of tape, and just markers and cardboard.
00:08:35
Speaker
And we wanted to see, like, which one would the kids go to and stay at? And it was, of course, the open-ended one, right? Because even the kids who, you know, air quotes don't like art or, you know, don't want to do the project, they can do whatever they need to do and create however they need to create or play with the open-ended material.
00:08:55
Speaker
Whereas when they come to the table with the teacher, giving them directions, and they have to do it this specific way, you know, and there's a time and a place for that. It's not my cup of tea per se, but I do believe that there is a time and a place for skill building in that way, right. But that's not play, then there's a difference.
00:09:13
Speaker
totally oh my gosh that actually just like I don't know if it was like a trigger you gave me or it reminded me that somebody recently asked um about uh in an art class they said that the art teacher is like um is like taking they're like I love the the projects that come home but the art teacher takes my like preschoolers hand to make the project look like the example
00:09:36
Speaker
And I was I wonder what you think about that. I know you just said there's a time and a place for skill building. And so, you know, it's interesting, too, because now I'm really I'm really taking it back to my preschool dance. But I remember, you know, teaching threes. And I was with a co-teacher who was modeling how to do like a very open ended project, which was like
00:09:58
Speaker
collage with strips of paper. But when she modeled it in the circle time, she bent it and made it loop over and then taped down the sides, which is actually really hard for a three-year-old. And so I think as grownups, when we're modeling or teaching a skill, we want to think about what you said, that beginner's mindset of where are they coming from? What are their strengths? And how can we use those as the starting point for the project? So instead, I might model that by saying,
00:10:27
Speaker
what's happening in this bin and looking through and saying, what color do I like? I wonder what I'm going to choose, you know, and really giving kids back that power of confidence. You know, I talk a lot about play confidence and, you know, giving them back that confidence of I can bring what I have, the skills that I have to this open-ended material and then together that's going to create something. I love that.
00:10:50
Speaker
I that reminded me we have like a learn to draw with me class and like one of the big things I teach first of all is like parent or teacher whoever's watching it your own mindset because I think so many people are like I've seen stuff on the internet like oh my gosh they asked me to draw a dinosaur like amateur artist here and I'm like no that is the best thing that you can be is if you are celebrating that you don't really know how to draw a dinosaur and you drew it with a circle
00:11:15
Speaker
and an oval and a few triangles because they can copy that and then they can see, oh my gosh, I can draw with some shapes too. What else could I draw with a circle and triangles? Because I know how to do circles and triangles. Could I draw a cat? Could I draw another animal? So it's like, I always tell parents, do not try to be an amazing air quotes artist, but like the thing is, is that if you do do it at their level, you are an amazing artist. Like you're showing them what they can do.
00:11:41
Speaker
And anything you make and tell them what it is, they believe you. The same way as when they tell you that something is what it is, you believe them. And talking about drawing with kids, I want to peel that back even another layer and go back to their confidence and say, when they come and say, I can't draw a dinosaur, you draw it for me.
00:12:00
Speaker
You know, I might say to them, okay, well, where do you think we should start? Will we start with the tail or will we start with the head? You know, and really keeping reflecting it back on them and putting it back on them so that they are in charge of their own creation. The same way I want them to be in charge of their own play.
00:12:18
Speaker
That's so good, and even that question of do we start with a tailor head is actually a reading skill that you're building with preschoolers because you're demonstrating, say the head is here, that print is gonna move from left to right, and we'd go talk to bottom. Not that they need to say head if they wanna start with the tail, but even in those moments of playing, you're giving them that authority, and I love that. You talked about play confidence. I know you talked about it on your page. Can you say what that means to people that are brand new?
Building play confidence in children
00:12:45
Speaker
Sure. So think about when you walk into
00:12:50
Speaker
say you walk into the gym or say you're playing paddle, right? Like you're learning this new skill and you walk in and you've never done it before and you've never been there before. Like your body language was probably hesitant the first time and you were probably nervous and you probably didn't just jump in there and start hitting the ball and being like, yes, I'm so good at this and playing for 30 minutes because you didn't know how, you didn't have confidence, you had to build that, right? And so when we want to build play confidence for our kids,
00:13:17
Speaker
That's really about helping them be the leaders of their own life. So instead of when they say, you know, daddy play with me, instead of doing that we want to say, you know, they're going to say, you be the puppy, instead of jumping in and entertaining them by being the puppy.
00:13:33
Speaker
you know, making them laugh and leading the play, you're going to say, well, tell me more about like, what does a puppy even do? Well, I'm not sure I know that much about puppies, but you do. Can you, can you tell me more about puppies? You know, so like really pulling from them that they have ideas, right? And the more we give them back their control over their ideas, the more confident they build. And that's only going to last, you know, a few minutes at first. And that's great. You're not going to expect.
00:13:59
Speaker
a child who has always had someone else leading their play or playing for them to just suddenly jump in and get really engaged in their own independent play. The other piece about building play confidence is about proximity, right?
00:14:14
Speaker
people want to be together, like kids want to be together. And I teach a lot about quiet time, which can be separate, right? Like where your child plays separately from where you are. But the step before that is like your young child wants to be where you are, right? They get security from being able to see you to reference you to feel you next to them. And just because you're next to them does not mean that you need to be playing for them. So you can be doing your own thing while they are doing theirs. And
00:14:42
Speaker
That's going to build their confidence and it's also going to take time, you're going to have to constantly keep redirecting them back to their work and getting you know really connecting over their work whether that's like that they're banging two pots together or they're building a block but it doesn't matter what what it is right again back to that thing of like the outcome is not what's important. It's just building those small moments of play confidence.
00:15:07
Speaker
That's so good. So you mean like, you don't have to be playing with them, but be doing your own thing near them is fine. Yeah. So something I was saying earlier to someone was that, you know,
00:15:18
Speaker
Things really changed for us in my own home when I put a couch into my child's playroom, an adult-sized couch, because before the playroom was just for him. So like only he could go in there. There was a child-sized table and chairs and toys, but like then there was nowhere for me to sit. So if I was sitting, I was sitting on the floor in the middle of his room. So of course he wanted me to play with him or for him.
00:15:40
Speaker
But once I could put a couch in there and it became like a space for me as well where I could relax and unwind, you know, because I know that like my kid wants to be with me. That's when, you know, he really started to build that confidence that like he could be in there and the more he was in there and then the space is inviting. So then they start playing and then they do it more because then you're commenting. I'm like, wow, you're really learning about that. Or, you know, last week that was too tricky for you. And this week, you know, you built four blocks high, you know, whatever it is, but just really,
00:16:10
Speaker
being able to observe their strengths and reflecting that back to them.
00:16:15
Speaker
you just said is like something that I say all the time to parents is like just reflecting that that wow last week that was tricky for you and you did four blocks today I actually think also I was just talking about this on a reel on Instagram like people get so um competitive about their kids reading levels and I was like that is not the thing we're gonna focus on you can say oh my gosh a month ago you were really struggling between the difference between er and ir and you just wrote me a letter and you
00:16:42
Speaker
did all E-R and I-R words exactly right because I know you've been practicing that. It's amazing. I think it's hard for us. It is a skill to practice looking for what skill are they growing that I can reflect back to them because I think we're thinking like, you learned to crawl, you learned to walk, but last week you did two blocks, this week you did four. That's amazing. That's such a good reminder.
00:17:08
Speaker
And as teachers and parents, I feel like we do. We live in a world, you know, teachers are constantly having to, like, prove that, you know, their kids are meeting standards and these are the benchmarks and is your kid doing it? So, of course, like, they're training their brains to only see what they need to see, what they need to write down, right? But that doesn't work in real life for real.
00:17:27
Speaker
children who need that support, right? And for parents, it's kind of like, well, does he, I mean, please, like you go to the pediatrician and they're like, do they say this many words? Can they build with this stack box? It's fine. You know, whatever it is. And so we also, like, we love our kids as teachers and parents. We want to make sure we're meeting every, all of their needs, right? But it's actually so much simpler than that when we allow it to be.
00:17:53
Speaker
Yes, that is such a good reminder. It's actually simpler because I think so many people, I see people on the internet saying that they're like, Oh, if one more person tells me to play with my kid this way or to do this, and it's like, actually, I mean, at least the accounts that I'm looking at, I'm like, like you, me, it's like, you're doing it. You're, you're actually making it so much harder on yourself. You are already doing it. Just like, here's like the easiest route. Like you don't have to be like, it doesn't have to look a certain way. It doesn't have to.
00:18:18
Speaker
But it is hard. I think we make everybody like humans makes it so much harder on themselves. Yeah, with everything. Why do we do that? I don't know. I think it's because we don't play enough. Yeah, that's totally why. Okay, so I have a question. What age, this is a joke question, what age do you think that kids don't need to play anymore as part of their development?
00:18:45
Speaker
I mean, it's not- Never. Yeah, sorry. What's your answer? Also, never, never. We all really, we do. We need to play. And I really mean that when I say like, when you can invest in your child's life and they get really good at it, it's not only really beneficial for your child, but it is so beneficial for you as a parent, a human, a partner, like for everything.
Balancing playtime with busy schedules
00:19:08
Speaker
Because you get time back so that you can play.
00:19:12
Speaker
Yes. So, okay. So like in now, I don't really typically see a lot of play except for in recess, like beyond kindergarten. How would you say like we could bring more play into classrooms? I mean, like everyone's like, well, there's no time in the day. I know. And it makes me so sad. And I feel like it's the first thing I'm always asking like any kids that are in my car for like carpool or anything. Like I'm always like,
00:19:37
Speaker
You guys got time for recess? What'd you do? But listen, everyone's days are so busy, mine included. Listen, I do this for a living. I tell people to like, slow down and play for a living. And guess what? Like,
00:19:55
Speaker
My kids also like play sports and go to aftercare because my husband and I both work and do all of those things, right? So like the struggle is very, very real. But I think when we know the value of play, right, we really understand how important it is for us as a family unit.
00:20:13
Speaker
then you're going to start to schedule in time for playing the same way you're scheduling in time for the tutor, for the baseball games or, you know, whatever it is. And in fact, you know, my daughter this morning, who's 10, was like, mom, I don't, you know, she doesn't have aftercare today. And she was like, I'm having a friend over. We're going to play this. I already set up my magnetiles. And I was like, actually,
00:20:34
Speaker
We're not going to have any play dates today because it's today is a day for you to play by yourself in your room and just think and like do, you know, and she was really mad. Right. And this is a kid who like, I've been saying that's her since she was a baby. So like my kids are used to that limit. Right. And there's still pushback and I'm still going to say.
00:20:52
Speaker
It's really important for you to have downtime with just your own thoughts and ideas. And when I can carve that in, I am going to. The same way, I was like, you have a play date scheduled for Friday. And that's awesome. But this is just as important.
00:21:07
Speaker
Wow, that's so good. And so I think that, like what you just said is such a good reminder. Like don't be afraid of the pushback. Like there's always going to be pushback. So like, this is what I'm doing. I think so many people want to do something to avoid like their kid being mad at them or like having them.
00:21:24
Speaker
always going to happen. At Beth, like she's going to come home from school and she's going to ask me if her play date again. And then when I say no, she's going to be like, fine, then can I watch TV? And then I'm going to say no. So like, you know, all of these things are going to happen. But the truth of the matter is for me, like I really believe and know and understand that this child needs downtime to process her world.
Addressing resistance to playtime
00:21:45
Speaker
And she does that through play. So I'm going to hold on to that when I'm saying no. And when I like feel a little bit bad, but I know I'm really needing her needs.
00:21:55
Speaker
That's such a good reminder like I feel like everything comes back to knowing your values. So like if this is a value of your family's or like then you can like even if you do have a 10 year old you can say like, remember our family values like we take care of ourselves we take care of our needs this is one of them and sometimes since you're still growing up.
00:22:11
Speaker
You need a little bit of reminding of how to take care of yourself. And since I'm your mom, I know what is good for you. And today's one of those days that I'm going to make the decision of what's good for you. That's right. And the next step of it also is, and oftentimes kids will do this. And even, you know, my kids did this all the time, which was that I would tell them, you know, for example, like during the pandemic every day when we were at lockdown, I would make them go outside at a certain time every day. And they were like, no, we're not going today. We're aboard or whatever it is. And I would be like, listen,
00:22:40
Speaker
It is my job to make sure that you guys get outside and play. You do what you want with that. You can go sit outside and be angry. You can sit out at the window and stare at me and be mad. Like that's okay. You, you choose how you're going to spend your time, but it is my job to make sure that you get outside every day. And guess what? Like, yes, in our backyard, you know, we have a trampoline and chalk and you know, all these things, right? So like, it's not like I was like sending them out to like the prison yard, but like, and sometimes
00:23:08
Speaker
especially one of my most loveliest stubborn children, what she would be like, fine, I will sit here and stare at you through the window. I will test if you're gonna cave. And I'd be like, go for it. But eventually, and the days they pushed back and boost, were the days that they ended up in their most creative cahoots of games together out there.
00:23:29
Speaker
Yes. Oh my gosh. My question, somebody asked about what, how do you find the balance between homework and free play in the afternoon? I know you kind of answered this by saying like you schedule it in, but for going forward when people have homework and all the things and also the person had a follow-up question that was, what are your thoughts on homework? Which my thoughts are I hate homework. Okay. So I was going to say, so first like disclaimer, I,
00:23:56
Speaker
really wish I could outlaw homework. Like if there was one thing I could like leave behind with my legacy in life, it would be to outlaw homework for office. Let's do that. I feel like you're on your way to do that. I mean, I really would just really anyway, but I understand, you know, and actually, not to go off on a tangent, but actually you can and I did for my younger kids.
The case against homework: prioritizing play
00:24:17
Speaker
Um, for my older kids, I mean, when they were younger, I used to write a letter to their teacher in the beginning of the year being like, we don't believe in homework and we're not doing it. Thanks. Bye. But you can do it. You're allowed to look it up. It's like legal. I would be like, I'll make sure they read every day. And like, they were kids who happened to be really strong academically. So I felt like I had a leg to stand on. Um, but you know, then once they got to fourth grade, it was like, then there were group projects and like, you know, stuff like that. And then they were like, mom, we have to do our homework.
00:24:45
Speaker
So of course I was like, okay, like if you want to see your homework, fine. You know, but that can't happen for all kids, right? Because my youngest has a language-based learning delay and like it's different. I'm not going to march into her class with teachers and like, but I'm doing homework. You know, like I get it. Like they're working really hard on certain things. We need to support her that whole, yeah. So it really depends on your situation on your kid, right? But also for my that same child of mine, like I also would fierce.
00:25:11
Speaker
about like protecting her play and really fierce about like not lining her up with tutors and all of those things. So another conversation for another day. However, the way that I found was best for my own family and keeping play when there was homework is that also I had the privilege of working from home.
00:25:29
Speaker
Uh, is that before they came home every day, I used to put out, you know, you're probably putting out an afternoon snack anyway. And so when I would put out an afternoon snack, I would also put out a very low key open-ended art project, which would literally be like paper and markers or, you know, Play-Doh, even for big kids, big kids love Play-Doh.
00:25:50
Speaker
you know, or Play-Doh or like sticks that I collected in the backyard and like some Posca pens or, you know, whatever it is so that they could come home and start eating their snack. And then they would pick up whatever was on the table next to their snack. And whether they realized it or not, they would start manipulating the material and then busy hands, make her open mouth, and then they would start chatting. And that was just a really nice way to get into our afternoon.
00:26:16
Speaker
I mean, was that possible every day? Absolutely not. Like we had busy seasons with sports and things like that where it didn't happen. And that's okay too. You are never going to be batting about, right? Like you're, you're not, you're going to do it when you can.
00:26:30
Speaker
Wow, that's great. Is there, since I now know that you're like the homework, that that's going to be your legacy. I've both been in the classroom. It's not like we're just like being people that are like, no, homework doesn't matter. But do you know, since you're such a believer of this, is there any research that supports that you should have homework? There's tons of research against it, tons and tons and tons. But there's none that says like, no, this is,
00:26:59
Speaker
No, like the people who invented homework, I mean, I'm sure you can always find research that can back whatever your thought is, right? Like this is 2024, but to me, homework was invented when they invented public school and they were just building factory workers. Like that's, you know, now, like I want my kids to come home and have a hobby because like at the end of the day, I don't want to still be thinking about work. I want, I have to force myself to put it away. So I would like to,
00:27:28
Speaker
train my kids that way, not the way of bring work home and stress about it and stay up all night doing it. Oh my gosh. But you know, also like I have a high schooler who was, you know, up last night until 11 30 PM, like working on like an AP seminar, blah, blah. And I was like, I'm like, I had to stop by though. Cause I wanted to be like, I don't even like go to bed. You need to go to bed. You know? And he was like, mom, this is really important. I'm applying to college. Like what is happening? But I just feel like I really want them to value their health and their
00:27:59
Speaker
themselves, you know, and their work and their work ethic. I'm not saying work ethic isn't super important, but I really believe that that's intrinsic and intrinsic motivation comes from play. Oh my gosh, 100% because this is like the same thing I talked about when I'm actually I was just giving a presentation for the libraries and I was like, I hate reading logs because I believe you hate them too. Hey,
00:28:22
Speaker
Hey, don't you love someone that you love? I'm like, oh, she's the guru in LA. But I was like, because that doesn't really motivate intrinsic motive, or doesn't help build intrinsic motivation. You're teaching kids to check something off. To check the box. Yeah, reading is something you accomplish, not something you devour. That's not what we want. You want kids to accomplish their life, or do you want them to be obsessed with it?
00:28:51
Speaker
Wait, you're gonna laugh from this when my now middle schooler was in second grade and she was like an obsessive reader, like obsessed. Like we had to like turn out her lights at night. She fell asleep in the book on her chest every night. And I remember being like, you're not doing this reading log because what would happen is she would read and read and read and then she would forget, obviously she would fall asleep reading to log it in and then it was stressing her out. And then she was reading less because she was trying to like, she would set a timer so that she wouldn't forget.
00:29:19
Speaker
And I went to her teacher and I was like, this child reads nonstop and this reading log is in the way. And again, we're not doing it. Thank you. And the teacher was super like, no problem. She is really great at reading. That's OK. I think that's such a good reminder is people don't want to step on a teacher's toes. But it's how you approach it. If you're like, hey, this doesn't work for my family, I know that you're doing your job and that you care about my child. But we just can't do this. I don't know any good teacher that would be like,
00:29:49
Speaker
No, like they might have to be like, let me make sure with my principal because I don't want to get in trouble. There's no, I don't know any good teacher that'd be like, no, this is the way it is. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I know I don't, I don't, but I also do know that there's a lot of pressure on teachers and they do have to, you know, I don't know. It's really hard. I think it's just such a hard time to be a teacher, right? Because you might also know and believe all these things in your heart, but like you need your paycheck. So you do what you're told.
00:30:19
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, everything I like, like with anything, like go into it with curiosity, like just like maybe, maybe you're not, maybe, maybe people are not as confident as you to say, we're not doing homework. Maybe they say like, Hey, my child has anxiety or my child like really needs a lot of downtime or our family is in a really like this homework doesn't really work for us. Can you help me come up with a plan? Like just like inviting the teacher to be a part of the, the plan with you. Yeah. I mean, that's a great, I think that would be a great first step.
Resources for after-school play activities
00:30:48
Speaker
Going back to the afternoon play, I forgot to tell you that I do have on my website, something called the big kid play plan, which is like a bunch of like really simple prompts to put out after school for like kids that are like six between six and 12. So it's just like a downloadable ebook. And it's just like, literally, like really simple materials, like really easy ideas to put out for after school, like to sort of unwind as a family. There's one for little kids also, but you're talking about homework.
00:31:18
Speaker
I'm on the way to go buy it then after this. Okay. Last question. Cause I know you have a busy day, but, um, how would you say to start, um, hold on, let me look and make sure the question, I have it worded the right way. Oh, what would an 18 month old place set up look like? So, so, so simple, like keep it so simple. Think about what is your.
00:31:42
Speaker
child love at 18 months. You can look at where they are developmentally or whatever it is. But I really want you to think about your unique child and what are they into? Are they into banging things together? Great. Start there. Think about what can they bang together? That's going to be super impactful. So maybe a few magnetiles and a cookie sheet on the high chair. Don't spend more than two or three minutes
00:32:09
Speaker
thinking about it, right? Also, it's kind of thinking about, especially when you have little babies and toddlers that you're with, you know, a lot, you're still a part of like their everyday moments, you know, diaper and feeding, you know, all of those things, right?
00:32:24
Speaker
Be playful in those moments. Be connected in those moments because that's how you really are building in play confidence with them. So did they love being things together? Awesome. Give them two blocks to being together while you're changing their diaper. Do it yourself if you're teaching, playing, whatever it is, mixing, anything. Just think about what they're already drawn to and go all in on that.
00:32:48
Speaker
Yeah. And you said something that's such a good reminder. It doesn't need to be like 40 minute block. It could be the 30 seconds or the diaper. Totally. Do they love school buses? Awesome. Point them out in the car. Sing about them. Ride the bus. Get bus books.
00:33:07
Speaker
This is such a good reminder, we have a baby class and that's like one of the big tips in our virtual baby class is that like you're building on language and playing like in these moments like it's while you're driving in the car like it doesn't need to be like your baby facing you all the time like in tummy
00:33:25
Speaker
like all of the other moments also matter not like these ones that you're like oh let me check this off like there's a lot a lot that you're already doing and like that's why i like to teach a lot of these songs to baby and to other parents because there's like here's 100 songs that you can just pull out if your kid likes spiders if they like bugs if they like cars you know like all these things here hand them like uh
00:33:46
Speaker
Shaker and on your car ride for 30 seconds when you're in traffic like you're not probably not only playing with them You're like regulating their nervous system if they are well you are You are because you're connecting with them You know and the base of all play and all learning is feeling regulated and secure right and so you are you're connecting with them also, you know if you want to learn more about parent-led play and and
00:34:11
Speaker
baby-led play. I just partnered with Lalo and we created the play boxes, which are curated subscription boxes, although you can buy them one off. But I wrote inside each one a play guide. So it really tells you where your child is at developmentally, how to use the materials now, but then also how to use them later, because I'm a really huge believer that toys should not be one and done.
00:34:34
Speaker
Yes. Oh, I love that. That's so, that's so important because I think there's so many subscription kits that are like, this is just for this age, but to see, like, grow with your child. And so do the, do the print or like the things you write, do you, is it just like written for that age? Or like, do you also say like, here's how you can use it with older kids?
00:34:55
Speaker
It says here's how you can use it with older kids. So it's literally like it's a play guide. You get a little snapshot of where your kid is developmentally, how to use the material, where they are right now, and then how to use them, you know, down the road a few years later, next.
00:35:09
Speaker
And if you don't want to read, you can also scan the video and I'll pop up and I'll show you myself. Are you wearing a beanie in the video? No, but I wish I was. I was wondering if beanies are a part of your brand or if you just love beanies. I love beanies and I live in Massachusetts and it's on the ocean and it's really cold. But don't you live in Chicago?
00:35:34
Speaker
I do. Yeah, it's really cold here too. But right now it's like 38 degrees. So I'm like, I'm not even wearing a coat today. Amazing. Is there any parting wisdom that you want to give to parents of any age or teachers on anything? It doesn't have to be on play, but you know, really that the kids are the answer, right? So like, if you have a kid and you don't know what to do with them, or you don't know how to start with play or teaching or anything, it really starts with connecting with that individual kid and learning.
00:36:03
Speaker
What are their interests? Where are they at? And just like, what are they good at? Just always start from like, what are they already good at? That's my parting wisdom. I feel like that is just the thing that I'm always pointing back to.
00:36:14
Speaker
What are they good at? That's a great reminder too, because also I always share that in our baby class, it's like your baby is showing you what they're interested in. If you watch their eyes, if you show them a book, like your eyes looking, and then you can help build on even their language and that connection by seeing where their eyes go and then pointing to it and saying, oh, that's the baby or that's the doggy. You know, and just like people will be like, oh, I don't know. They're just a baby, but they're telling you so much. They're telling you so much.
00:36:43
Speaker
observing, learning who they are and like going all in on what they feel that they're for that. Yes. Oh my gosh. Wow. You are amazing. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. This was so much fun. I know it was so much fun. Will you come on again? Totally. Okay.