Have you ever wondered if you're doing everything wrong when it comes to your child's attachment? Or worried that holding your baby all the time is creating a "clingy" kid?

This episode is your permission slip to put that worry down.

In this episode, Miss Beth sits down with Michelle Charriere of Babies and Brains (@babiesandbrains) to talk about what attachment actually is, why it's not a pass/fail thing, and why so much of the anxiety parents feel around it comes from comparison rather than anything they're doing wrong. Michelle got her start doing trauma and attachment work with families in the foster care system before founding Babies and Brains, and she brings that same grounded, no-shame approach here — covering everything from what really counts as trauma for a baby, to how to repair after a hard moment, to preparing an older sibling for a new baby.

If you have a baby, toddler, or are expecting another child, this is one of those episodes you'll want to save and share with a parent who needs to hear that their attachment isn't as fragile as they think.

In this episode, you'll learn:
- What attachment actually means, and why it isn't a yes/no thing
- The difference between secure and insecure attachment
- Whether there's a set timeline for a child to form attachment with a caregiver
- What actually counts as trauma for a baby, including NICU stays and traumatic birth
- How to repair with your child without needing a blowup to justify it
- How to prepare an older child for a new sibling, and when to start
- Why unfamiliar change feels unsafe to a child's nervous system
- Why contact naps are a preference, not a requirement

You'll walk away knowing:
- Why wanting to be held all the time doesn't mean your baby is "too attached"
- What repair actually looks like in the moment, big or small
- How your own nervous system and stress shape your child's sense of safety
- Why "start with yourself" is the answer to almost every attachment question

Originally released November 27, 2023

Links mentioned:
⁠@babiesandbrains⁠
⁠Miracle Moon UK⁠ [https://www.miraclemoon.co.uk/]
⁠The Whole-Brain Child⁠ [https://amzn.to/4dAzUzb]
⁠Ruby Finds a Worry⁠ [https://amzn.to/3VLISn4]
⁠Some Things Change⁠ by Mary Murphy [https://amzn.to/4jqveQ2]

About the host
Beth Gaskill (Miss Beth) is a reading specialist, early childhood educator, and founder of Big City Readers. She helps parents support their children's literacy development through research-backed, science of reading strategies.
⁠@BigCityReaders⁠
⁠BigCityReaders.com⁠

About the guest
Michelle Charriere is the founder of Babies and Brains. She started her career in community behavioral health, doing trauma and attachment work with families in the foster care system, before launching Babies and Brains during the pandemic to share parent-child attachment education more broadly. She now creates digital content, courses, master classes, and guides for parents around the globe.
⁠@babiesandbrains⁠

Topics
attachment parenting, secure attachment, insecure attachment, child trauma, parent-child bonding, NICU attachment, repair after conflict, sibling prep, contact naps, nervous system regulation, gentle parenting, toddler behavior, early childhood development, parenting anxiety, foster care attachment

Can You Hold Your Baby Too Much?

Mental health has been top of mind for so many parents lately, making this throwback episode feel more relevant than ever. In this rerelease, Miss Beth sits down with therapist and Big City mom Jamie Kreiter to talk about naming our feelings, crying in front of our kids, and why so many moms hesitate to start therapy.

In episode 48, Miss Beth sits down with Jamie Kreiter, a therapist and Big City mom, to explore some of the most pressing issues in early childhood development and parenting like getting ready for your child to go to school, repair, and why some moms might hesitate about starting therapy.

Jamie and Beth tackle the bittersweet experience of sending a child off to kindergarten and the importance of naming and acknowledging feelings. They explore whether or not it's okay to cry in front of your child, dispel common misinformation about gentle and respectful parenting, and teaching, and discuss why it’s crucial not to let your child become your emotional support.

The conversation shifts to practical advice on how to model self-advocacy for your child and how to 'hack your brain' to foster better mental health. They emphasize the importance of positive self-talk for kids and introduce "The Magical Yet," a growth mindset book that’s perfect for encouraging resilience in young readers.

Jamie also shares her personal experience taking Big City Readers classes, adding a humorous touch by questioning whether she even knows how to read as an adult. The two also talk about  smut as a genre and feelings around it.

Key Topics Discussed:

* Understanding trauma and why some moms avoid therapy

* Types of therapy for moms

* Dealing with intrusive thoughts as a new mom

* Grieving when your child starts kindergarten

* The importance of naming feelings

* Should you cry in front of your child?

* Why your child shouldn’t console you

* Teaching your child to advocate for themselves

* Hacking your brain for better mental health

* Positive self-talk and the power of "The Magical Yet"

Resources Mentioned:

 * Kindergarten course: click here  [https://www.bigcityreaders.com/on-demand-for-kindergarteners]
 * My Amazon Picks [http://amazon.com/shop/bigcityreaders]

Connect with Us:

 *  Follow Big City Readers on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/bigcityreaders]: @bigcityreaders
 *  Learn more about Jamie Kreiter and her work: Nurture Therapy  [https://www.nurture-therapy.com/]

Originally Released September 24, 2024

Subscribe & Review: If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review! Your feedback helps us reach more parents and educators who can benefit from these conversations.

Should I Cry in Front of My Child & Why is Starting Therapy as a Parent So Scary?

It's back to school season, and if your child's classroom is hosting a back to school night or curriculum night, you may be wondering what to actually listen for, what to ask, and how to ask it without feeling like "that parent."

In episode 97, Miss Beth kicks off a new series on curriculum and homework questions. She breaks down what a typical back to school night covers, the difference between general classroom questions and specific reading questions, and how to raise a concern about curriculum (like a list of sight words to memorize) without putting a teacher on the defensive.

You'll learn:

 * Why back to school night is not the time to interrogate a teacher, and what "going in with curiosity" actually sounds like
 * The single best general question to ask any teacher: "What does a typical day look like?"
 * Why asking how a teacher prefers to communicate can prevent problems before they start
 * The exact phrasing to use if your child comes home with a sight word or memorization-based assignment
 * Reading-specific questions to ask, including what to say instead of "Do you teach phonics?"
 * The one answer about "what to do when a child gets stuck on a word" that should raise a red flag
 * How to build a relationship with a teacher who seems resistant to questions, and when to escalate to a principal instead
 * A five-question shortlist if you only have time to ask a few things
 * Extra questions for parents of high-achieving or easily frustrated kids, including how a classroom handles mistakes

Back to school night can feel overwhelming, especially when you're trying to figure out whether a classroom's approach to reading lines up with the science of reading. But you don't need to memorize curriculum names or challenge a teacher on day one. A few well-placed, curious questions can tell you almost everything you need to know.

You don't have to choose between trusting your child's teacher and advocating for your child. You can do both.

Links mentioned:
Download our free sight word guide here [https://bigcityreaders.myflodesk.com/sight-words]

About the host
Beth Gaskill @BigCityReaders (Miss Beth) is a reading specialist, early childhood educator, and founder of Big City Readers. She helps parents support their children's literacy development through research-backed, science of reading strategies.

Topics
back to school night, curriculum night, questions to ask teachers, science of reading, sight words, phonics instruction, reading assessment, kindergarten reading, first grade reading, parent-teacher communication, teacher relationships, red flags in the classroom, homework expectations, invented spelling, developmentally appropriate instruction, reading curriculum, structured literacy

The Back-to-School Questions Parents Don’t Know to Ask

We're bringing back this fan-favorite as we head into a new school year! This conversation about raising independent kids and navigating school anxiety is just as relevant now as when we first recorded it.

Raising independent kids, saying no to homework and how well behaved babies rarely make history. In this episode of Play On Words from Big City Readers, Beth Gaskill sits down with Lizzie Assa, founder of The Workspace For Children, for a no-nonsense back-to-school pep talk. Together, they tackle the nuances of raising kids who can advocate for themselves while remaining respectful, and they share their mutual disdain for homework. Listen in as they discuss how to balance validating your child's fears with holding firm boundaries, tips for building independence and self-esteem, and strategies for effective communication with teachers. Plus, they dive into handling those tough drop-off moments when tears and screams abound, and why it's okay to say no to homework if it just doesn't fit your family's needs. Whether you're dealing with school separation anxiety, homework battles, or just want a confidence boost heading into the school year, this episode is packed with practical advice for parents looking to navigate it all with compassion.

Originally published August 26, 2024

Follow Lizzie @theworkspaceforchildren
Follow Beth @bigcityreaders or BigCityReaders.com [http://www.bigcityreaders.com/]
Get Lizzie's guide: Start school with confidence [https://twfc.kartra.com/page/schoolhandbook]
Questions? Email hello@bigcityreaders.com

What If My Kid Cries At School? A Pep Talk with Lizzie Assa

In honor of Episode 96, Miss Beth is going back to 1996, a pivotal year in the history of reading instruction and the year one of the most iconic book-loving children arrived on the big screen: Matilda. What did Matilda get right and wrong about literacy and the American Education System?

In this episode, Beth breaks down the whole-language approach, the original reading wars and the strategies that encouraged children to use pictures, context and first letters to guess at words. She connects that history to one of today’s most frequently asked parent questions: How can I tell whether my child is actually reading or memorizing and guessing?

You’ll learn:

• Why reading a familiar or predictable book perfectly does not always mean a child can decode
• The signs that a child may be relying on pictures, context or memorization
• Why a child might read a word correctly on one page and miss it on the next
• How to check decoding skills without turning reading into a stressful test
• Why nonsense words can provide useful information
• What to say when your child gets stuck instead of “Look at the picture”
• How phonics, comprehension, beautiful books and a love of reading all work together
• What Matilda gets right—and slightly magically wrong—about learning to read

Books, libraries and read-alouds give children language, knowledge, imagination and connection. But exposure to books does not replace explicit reading instruction. Children deserve both meaningful stories and the skills necessary to read those stories independently.

Your child should not have to guess their way through a book, and they should not need Matilda’s magic to learn how to read one.

Links mentioned:

Blog: Is Your Child’s Reading Curriculum Science Based? [https://www.bigcityreaders.com/blog/science-based-reading-curriculum?rq=cueing]

Podcast: 3 Cueing and Reading Struggles  [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/play-on-words/id1689430556?i=1000673352193]

Kindergarten On-Demand [https://www.bigcityreaders.com/kindergarten-ready]

First Grade On-Demand [https://www.bigcityreaders.com/first-grade-bootcamp]

About the host
Beth Gaskill @BigCityReaders (Miss Beth) is a reading specialist, early childhood educator, and founder of Big City Readers [https://www.bigcityreaders.com/]. She helps parents support their children's literacy development through research-backed, science of reading strategies.

Topics
whole language, three-cueing, science of reading, structured literacy, phonics instruction, decoding, sight words, reading wars, guessing strategies, phonemic awareness, early literacy, reading instruction history, Matilda, parenting advice, reading comprehension, dry erase board reading practice, nonsense words, early reader signs

The Reading Wars Never Ended—and Your Child May Be Caught in Them

Is your child really ready for first grade? The answer has a lot less to do with reading a whole book independently — and a lot more to do with whether the right foundational skills are in place.

In episode 95, Miss Beth breaks down the specific literacy skills rising first graders should be developing before the school year begins. We're talking about phonemic awareness, letter sounds, decoding, spelling, and sentence writing — not vague readiness checklists, reading levels, or memorized sight-word lists.

Your child does not need to know everything on the first day. The goal is to make sure the kindergarten foundation is secure enough for them to learn new first-grade skills without also trying to fill in old gaps at the same time.

In this episode:

 * Why your child does not need to read independently before first grade
 * The phonemic awareness skills that support successful decoding
 * Which letter sounds and kindergarten spelling patterns should be familiar
 * What it looks like to sound out a word instead of guessing
 * The types of words and sentences rising first graders should be able to attempt
 * How many heart words children actually need to know
 * Realistic spelling, handwriting, and sentence-writing expectations
 * The difference between normal beginning-reader behavior and a skill gap worth watching
 * A simple 10-minute practice routine you can use before school starts

You'll walk away knowing:

 * Exactly which skills to look for — and which ones aren't worth worrying about yet
 * How to tell the difference between a normal early reader and a child who may need extra support
 * What a realistic, low-pressure summer practice routine actually looks like
 * Whether your child's kindergarten foundation is strong enough to build on in first grade

Links mentioned:

Back to School Bootcamp (Aug. 10-14th) [https://www.bigcityreaders.com/back-to-school-bootcamp]

Sight Word Mastery  [https://www.bigcityreaders.com/kinder-sight-word-mastery]

Kindergarten and First Grade Skills checklist [https://bigcityreaders.myflodesk.com/skill-checklist]

About the host

Beth Gaskill @BigCityReaders [https://instagram.com/BigCityReaders] (Miss Beth) is a reading specialist, early childhood educator, and founder of Big City Readers [https://www.bigcityreaders.com/]. She helps parents support their children's literacy development through research-backed, science of reading strategies.

Topics

first grade readiness, phonemic awareness, letter sounds, decoding, heart words, sight words, kindergarten to first grade transition, spelling patterns, handwriting, sentence writing, science of reading, early literacy, structured literacy, back to school, rising first graders, reading readiness, parenting advice, first grade skills

What Your First Grader Should Know Before the First Day of School

Have you ever worried that your preschooler isn't interested in letters yet? Or wondered if you should be doing more alphabet practice at home?

This episode is your reminder to take a deep breath.

In episode 94, Miss Beth breaks down the developmental skills that come before the ABCs — and explains why these early experiences are some of the strongest predictors of later reading success. Reading and writing don't begin with flashcards or worksheets. They begin years earlier through movement, play, conversation, scribbling, and sound awareness.

If you have a child between the ages of 2 and 5, this is one of those episodes you'll want to save and share with another parent who could use a little reassurance that they're doing better than they think.

In this episode, you'll learn:

 * Why scribbling is the first stage of writing development
 * The progression from lines and curves to letters and words
 * How grip strength, shoulder stability, and fine motor skills support handwriting
 * What print awareness is and why it matters before children can read
 * The difference between phonological awareness, phonemic awareness, and phonics
 * Why Miss Beth doesn't recommend rushing the alphabet or relying on "letter of the week"
 * Simple, play-based activities that build lifelong reading and writing skills

You'll walk away knowing:

 * Why the activities your child is already doing — drawing, playing, reading together — are building real reading readiness
 * What to do instead of letter drills with a 2–5 year old
 * How to tell if your child is developing on track without comparing them to flashcard milestones
 * When to feel confident you're already giving your child exactly what they need

Links mentioned:

⁠Ready to Read⁠ [https://www.bigcityreaders.com/ready-to-read]

⁠ABC Activities⁠ [https://amzn.to/4vRH3S8]

⁠The Little Blue Truck⁠ [https://amzn.to/4vTqEfW]

About the host

Beth Gaskill (Miss Beth) is a reading specialist, early childhood educator, and founder of Big City Readers. She helps parents support their children's literacy development through research-backed, science of reading strategies.

⁠ @BigCityReaders ⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/bigcityreaders/]

⁠BigCityReaders.com⁠ [https://bigcityreaders.com/]

Topics

early literacy, pre-reading skills, phonological awareness, phonemic awareness, phonics, print awareness, fine motor skills, handwriting development, scribbling, play-based learning, preschool literacy, toddler learning, reading readiness, science of reading, parenting advice

Reading Doesn't Start with the Alphabet: The Skills Every Preschooler Needs First

Is everything bullying now?

One day your child comes home saying someone wouldn't let them play. The next day they say they say they are being bullied. As parents, we want to protect our children—but we also want to help them build the confidence and resilience to handle everyday disagreements.

In episode 93, I'm joined by Dr. Carrie Jackson to unpack one of the biggest parenting conversations happening today: Has the word "bullying" become too broad?

We're talking about how to validate our children's feelings without labeling every uncomfortable interaction as bullying, what true bullying actually looks like, and how we can help kids develop emotional regulation and healthy conflict-resolution skills.

Whether you're parenting a preschooler, elementary schooler, or tween, this episode will help you know when to step in, when to coach from the sidelines, and how to raise kids who can navigate friendships with confidence.

In this episode, we discuss:

 * What actually qualifies as bullying
 * The difference between bullying, conflict, teasing, and rude behavior
 * Why more children are using the word "bullying" for everyday disagreements
 * How social media and adult language may be shaping kids' perceptions
 * Questions every parent should ask before assuming bullying is happening
 * When parents should contact the school—and when they shouldn't
 * How to validate your child's emotions without reinforcing a victim mindset
 * Practical ways to teach emotional regulation and resilience
 * Helping kids solve friendship problems instead of avoiding them
 * How schools and parents can work together to support healthy peer relationships

You'll walk away knowing:

 * How to recognize the warning signs of true bullying
 * What to say when your child comes home upset about a friendship
 * How to help kids develop problem-solving skills instead of fear of conflict
 * Why learning to handle everyday social challenges is an important part of growing up

Guest: Dr. Carrie Jackson @dr.carriejackson [https://www.instagram.com/dr.carriejackson/] on Instagram

About the Host

Beth Gaskill (Miss Beth) is a reading specialist, early childhood educator, and founder of Big City Readers. She helps parents support their children's literacy development through research-backed, science of reading strategies.

Follow Miss Beth on Instagram @BigCityReaders [https://www.instagram.com/bigcityreaders/?hl=en]

Browse Big City Readers resources at BigCityReaders.com [https://www.bigcityreaders.com/]

Topics

bullying vs conflict, childhood bullying, friendship problems, emotional regulation for kids, conflict resolution for kids, resilient kids, social skills, positive parenting, child development, elementary school parenting, school behavior, parenting advice, emotional resilience

Is My Child Being Bullied? How to Tell the Difference Between Bullying and Normal Friendship Conflict

Episode 92: If you've spent even five minutes on pregnancy TikTok, you've probably wondered: should I be bouncing on a birth ball every night? Do dates actually help? Can I sleep on my back? Do I really need every prenatal appointment? Should I hire a doula? And is there anything that actually helps labor start? This week Miss Beth sits down with labor and delivery nurse, educator, and creator behind The Labor Mama, Lo Mansfield, to separate evidence from internet hype and answer the questions real moms sent in. Whether you're expecting your first baby or your fourth, this conversation is full of practical, reassuring information that will help you feel informed, not overwhelmed.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN

 * What an anterior placenta actually means
 * Why sleeping on your back becomes a topic during pregnancy
 * The third-trimester trends all over social media, and whether they're worth doing
 * The truth about birth balls, curb walking, dates, and raspberry leaf tea
 * Breech babies and when an external version makes sense
 * Why some people choose an epidural, and why others don't
 * Why many women over 35 are prescribed baby aspirin
 * How to advocate for yourself at prenatal appointments without feeling "annoying"
 * The questions every pregnant person should ask their provider
 * Whether you can actually predict when labor is coming
 * Pushing positions, closed-glottis vs. spontaneous pushing, and your birth options
 * What may (and may not) help reduce tearing
 * Whether hiring a doula is worth it
 * Which childbirth classes are actually worth your time
 * Mental prep, breathing techniques, and staying calm before birth
 * Lo's favorite labor advice and what she wants every pregnant woman to know

As always, we wrap up with our favorite question: what are you reading right now?

TOPICS
third trimester · labor and delivery nurse · evidence-based pregnancy · anterior placenta · birth ball · curb walking · raspberry leaf tea · external cephalic version · breech baby · epidural · baby aspirin pregnancy · prenatal appointments · doula · childbirth classes · pushing positions · perineal tearing prevention · labor preparation

CONNECT WITH LO MANSFIELD
Follow Lo and learn more from her evidence-based pregnancy and birth education at @thelabormama.

If this episode helped you feel more confident about pregnancy or labor, share it with a friend who's expecting. And if you're enjoying Play on Words, leaving a rating and review is one of the best ways to help more parents find the show.

ABOUT THE HOST
Beth Gaskill (Miss Beth) is a reading specialist, early childhood educator, and founder of Big City Readers. She helps parents support their children's literacy development through research-backed, science of reading strategies.

Follow Miss Beth on Instagram @BigCityReaders

Browse Big City Readers resources at BigCityReaders.com

Third Trimester: What's Worth Doing... and What's Just Internet Noise with Lo Mansfield @TheLaborMama

Episode 91: This week Miss Beth dives into her viral video that sparked thousands of comments and a lot of strong opinions. After sharing that children who can read familiar words but struggle with nonsense words may be relying on memorization rather than decoding, the internet had questions: is memorization bad, do skilled readers really sound out every word, and are adults just "fake reading"? Beth unpacks what she actually meant, explores the research behind decoding and orthographic mapping, and explains why nonsense words reveal so much about whether a child truly understands the alphabetic code.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
• Why the term "fake reading" struck such a nerve online
• The real difference between memorization and decoding
• What nonsense words actually reveal about a child's reading ability
• Why skilled readers don't decode every single word forever
• The truth about automaticity and orthographic mapping
• Why words like invited and invaded can expose hidden gaps
• Common myths about how our brains read words (shape, context, first and last letters)
• Why explicit reading instruction is an equity issue, not just a preference
• How to support children without shame, blame, or guilt

READING REWIND: 1991
This week's literacy time capsule takes us back to 1991, when the Reading Wars were heating up and educators were debating many of the same questions parents and teachers are still asking today.

TOPICS
science of reading · decoding · orthographic mapping · nonsense words · automaticity · phonics · reading wars · structured literacy · literacy equity · fourth grade reading proficiency · reading instruction · memorization vs decoding

CONNECT WITH MISS BETH
If this episode resonated with you, share it with a teacher, grandparent, or friend who's ever wondered: "How do I know if my child is really reading?" And if you enjoyed today's conversation, be sure to follow Play on Words so you never miss an episode.

ABOUT THE HOST
Beth Gaskill (Miss Beth) is a reading specialist, early childhood educator, and founder of Big City Readers. She helps parents support their children's literacy development through research-backed, science of reading strategies.

Join Big City Summer right here! [https://www.bigcityreaders.com/summer-reading-program]

Follow Miss Beth on Instagram @BigCityReaders
Browse Big City Readers resources at BigCityReaders.com

Reading or Memorizing? The Difference Matters

Miss Beth is known across the globe as a reading rockstar, disrupter of the education system and "like Taylor Swift and Mr Rogers."

miss beth (@missbeth) · Zencastr

miss beth (@missbeth)

Learning to read starts with learning to play. This is the podcast for parents and teachers of kids ages 0-8 who want to have FUN learning evidence backed early development and literacy strategies in a short amount of time. This is the podcast for the teacher who needs a bestie to ask questions to and the parent who wants to know the best developmental practices to implement in the 3 minutes a day they have. You're not alone. Ask your questions here. If I can't answer them, one of my friends will be on to help! There are so many confusing parts about the learning to read journey. Miss Beth is here to simplify it, affirm you are the best person to teach your child, and give you the confidence you need in the early childhood education years. This podcast is for fun, community and confidence making tough topics more bite sized for every parent teacher and child. 

play on words