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Do Babies Need Toys? How Much Should I Play With My Baby? OT Answers on Attachment, Sleep, and Play Routines with Brooke Boruff @InfantInsights
449 Plays4 days ago
In this jam-packed episode, Beth is joined by Brooke Boruff, a pediatric occupational therapist and founder of Infant Insights, to tackle all your biggest questions about baby and toddler development. From bonding and soothing to choosing the right preschool, Brooke’s expert advice will leave you feeling informed, confident, and ready to embrace this stage of parenting.
Here’s what we cover:
🎁 Do babies really need toys to thrive? (Hint: Less is more!)
🍼 Is it normal for a baby to roll at 3 weeks? What’s typical, and when should you seek support?
💡 What is an OT, and how can they help with everything from motor skills and sensory needs to bonding and beyond?
💬 Attachment: Can you be too attached? How much should I play with my baby?
😴 Sleep and soothing strategies: How to bond while helping your baby self-soothe.
🍼 Lactation, feeding, and how they connect to development.
📚 Flat heads, tummy time, and how to promote healthy growth while easing common concerns.
🏫 Choosing the right preschool: structured vs. unstructured, play-based learning, and what to look for when making your decision.
📖 Children’s books that are both adorable and thought-provoking—yes, even about death and the big questions in life.
This episode is packed with expert advice and practical tips to support your parenting journey, all while reminding you that you’re doing an amazing job.
Links mentioned in this episode:
👉 Connect with Brooke: Infant Insights on Instagram
👉 My Baby and Toddler Courses: bigcityreaders.com
👉 Send me your questions or thoughts on Instagram: @bigcityreaders
Don’t forget to subscribe, share this episode with a friend, and leave a review—it helps more families find the show! ❤️
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Transcript
Introduction to Early Childhood Development
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey guys, it's Beth. And before we jump into today's episode all about baby and toddler development, I wanted to tell you about something you might hear us talk about. You might know the statistic about how 80% of your child's brain development happens by the time they turn three and how kids in language rich environments hear 30 million more words than those who don't. You might hear people talk about that 30 million word gap.
00:00:25
Speaker
And while that's really exciting, it's also kind of overwhelming, right? Like, what if I'm not doing everything I need to? And is my kid going to be in that word gap? And oh my gosh, all the neurons that are firing and wiring and connecting, how do we keep up with it?
00:00:40
Speaker
So if you're exhausted and out of brain space wondering what should I be doing? Am I doing this right? Take a deep breath because if you've asked yourself those questions, you are. um And I have something for you. My baby and toddler courses are on demand and you can press play and let me do the heavy lifting of building those language skills through songs, stories, finger plays, and books. Your baby or toddler doesn't need to watch it. You don't need to prep anything, but once you start watching, you will feel empowered with tips and strategies that turn everyday moments into magical learning experiences. I promise you.
00:01:18
Speaker
um I'm going to teach you how to build language skills with songs and stories that actually will help your baby self-regulate in a traffic meltdown in their car seat if that happens to you. This is based on true feedback from big city readers' families. ah You're going to learn how to read aloud in ways that spark curiosity and connection. like When you're burnt out, you can just literally let me play in the background, or you can just copy exactly how I read aloud. In fact, some people say that they tell their husbands or nannies just to mimic what I do in it, which, no shame, do whatever you gotta do.
00:01:51
Speaker
um I'm going to teach you that how ah through play with simple, fun things that you already have in your house is going to build big connections for your baby um and so, so, so much more. Here's
Clutter-Free Gift Ideas for Development
00:02:03
Speaker
the best part. This makes the perfect holiday gift from grandparents, aunts, and uncles because one, it's clutter free. Two, it's not a noisy toy. Don't even get me started on noisy toys and how they are not great for language development.
00:02:16
Speaker
ah We'll talk about that in a different time. But it's a gift that keeps on giving literally all year long because your family member that gives it to you gets to have that opportunity to be a part of your child's life no matter where they are. um Parents say that they get to FaceTime with the grandparent that gives it to them to talk about what they learned and how they get to feel connected even when they're far away. So I've linked the courses in the show notes or you can head to bigcityreaders.com to learn more. Bigcityreaders.com to learn more. I should probably learn how to say my own company name. If you have questions about what the right class is for you, send me a message on Instagram. I would love to help.
00:02:54
Speaker
All right, let's dive into today's episode with my friend Brooke.
Understanding Infant Development with Brooke Boriff
00:03:02
Speaker
This is what I think people don't realize that there's so much happening when you think nothing is happening. Oh, when nothing is happening, everything is happening.
00:03:12
Speaker
I think there's a difference in like pushing baby past the developmental age and encouraging learning. like Getting your baby to crawl at the newborn stage, that is crazy because they're not ready for that, right? But encouraging your baby to transition and move through crawling when they're nine months, well, then that's just fun. That's bonding. Okay, welcome back to the Play On Words podcast. I'm so excited to share today's guest with you. It's Brooke Boriff.
00:03:42
Speaker
Did I say it right? yeah Yeah, we're talking about specifically like the first three years of development and nervous system sensory development, navigating anxiety as a new parent.
00:03:55
Speaker
developmental toys and books, building bonds, you know, everything that we love to talk about. Brooke, welcome. I'm so glad that you're here. Will you tell us a little bit about you and how you got to where you are? Oh my goodness. Thanks Beth for having me. So I'm Brooke Borath. I am a mom of two and a pediatric occupational therapist.
00:04:14
Speaker
I honestly, I've been a pediatric therapist for pretty much my whole career, but I really just fell in love with the infancy stage after I became a mom. I just feel like I could really relate to a lot of the things that new moms were going through a lot of things from like a developmental perspective, but also just like a mental health and relatability perspective as well. So really now I just own and run my business. It's called the insights and we just help parents and babies. Like that's our focus.
00:04:46
Speaker
And I love it. I love it. I really would not change it for the world. Yeah, i I love that you're like, you know what, we're going just the baby stage because it's so hard. Even when I talk about like reading stuff, I do. There's so many stages and ages that I work with. But I'm like, I feel like I really need to a couple of years ago made my focus really like the two and a half to five and a half or six year olds because I felt like that was the most confusing part to parents. you know there's I was talking to parents that would have kids that are struggling in first grade and I was like, what needs to come before this so that they don't get to that point?
00:05:24
Speaker
Which is probably kind of like what you realize with talking about baby stuff, right? Oh, absolutely. I feel like I could be influenced to like get into the toddler age, but I agree with you, Beth. It's like when you get into that next stage in age, there's so much that comes with that too. like If you think about toddlerhood, you're thinking potty training, emotional skills, pre-reading skills, pre-writing skills, like a bunch of childhood occupations. And so I really am not going to be influenced by the world. I really just want to stay very specific to the baby stage because I think it's such a quick changing season in a parent's life and a baby's life.
00:06:06
Speaker
it's like there's a It's like drinking out of a fire hose because it's just a lot to know. And so I just really want to hone in on that stage, you know. Yeah. Okay. And your kids are two and like nine months. Yes. Becca, she'll be, we're talking on the 25th of September. So she'll be nine months, the second of October. Oh my. And I remember that. So my sister had her fourth baby on the ninth of October. So I think I remember like kind of like following their developmental milestones together. Yes. I love it.
00:06:40
Speaker
which is kind of like what your new group can do, right? Like, so it's people can follow this milestones together. Yes, absolutely. And inside of the insects, we have like a community, it's called the bloom community. But like, parents can just kind of mingle and talk about what they're going through with their kids, but also themselves, just really to support this infancy stage, you know,
Role of Occupational Therapy in Early Development
00:07:01
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, I love it. Okay. So let's dive in and talk about what that infancy stage looks like. So for people that don't know, actually, let me rewind a little. um For people that don't know, because maybe you you've experienced this too. I think when we're experts in our field, we forget that someone is so, so, so brand new. And we start talking about something at what we think is an entry level for me it's usually i'll say oh here's what to do when your kindergartner is working on sight words and then there are parents that are like what. Is a sight or what are you talking about so real in it back all the way could you explain what an ot is to people that might be brand new to hearing about this.
00:07:44
Speaker
Yes. Okay. So an OT basically is someone who helps people do what they want and need to do. That's like the most simplified definition. So if you think about like a baby, well, what do they want and need to do, right? So babies need to play, they need to feed, they need to sleep, right? They need to be kind of stimulated in different areas.
00:08:08
Speaker
And so that's kind of the focus. That's what it is. It's very simple. But then you can think about it from like a mom's perspective. What do they want and need to do, right? Like they need to take care of themselves. They need to do things that they enjoy. They need to take care of their baby. And so if you think about OT, I mean, it can be various depending on what setting and what kind of population you're serving.
00:08:31
Speaker
Okay. And so I think that people that might've heard of an OT would be somebody that has had a referral, like if their child maybe isn't feeding themselves or um in school, if they're not holding the pencil the right way. Have you worked in those areas too, before building your own company? Yes, absolutely. So like a lot of fine motor focus in early childhood is kind of the OT lens.
00:08:55
Speaker
as well as like sensory processing and things like that. right so OT can look like we said, OT can look so different depending on what age and what kind of group of people you're serving. Okay, amazing. Okay, so then let's talk about then the developmental milestones of the first year and what that looks like from your lens and what you think like parents should know because I think you know, maybe the basics are you get, you walk out of the hospital or you, you know, you, you have your baby and you're like, okay, so feed it and change it and tummy
Key Developmental Milestones
00:09:29
Speaker
time. Like what else is there? but Yes. ah Okay. So when we think about infant development, we can break it down into a bunch of different subcategories, right? So you can think about motor skills. So this is going to be like, you know, those big milestones, tiny time, head control, crawling, walking, things like that.
00:09:48
Speaker
But then also hand skills fall under that motor umbrella. So baby's ability to pick up a rattle and shake it, baby's ability to imitate, baby's sign, things like that. Okay. Then you have a second subcategory from a sensory perspective. So this is going to be.
00:10:05
Speaker
baby's ability to take in information in their environment, feel regulated. You really don't want baby to be like adverse to certain textures. You know, that can really lead baby into like foundations in childhood, things like that. So from a sensory perspective, then you have language skills, right? So this is going to be more speech therapist lens, but also OTs, because it's really important for babies to be able to communicate, right? I've noticed they do overlap OT and speech in the first couple, as much as I know is first couple of years, but maybe beyond that too.
00:10:41
Speaker
Yes, absolutely. And I can talk a little bit about the overlap, but then kind of the last category I would say is like a feeding perspective, right? So really feeding from bottle breasts, but also transitioning to solids. Like there's so many skills and developmental things that happen in those subcategories.
00:10:59
Speaker
that OTs can really kind of play a part in. If you think about OT, because there is a lot of overlap, I like to explain it as like a Venn diagram. You know how you have like two circles that overlap? Yeah. You have like speech therapy on one side, and then like PT, physical therapy on the other. OT is kind of in the middle, you know? Yeah. Like we all three have our own focuses that we specialize in, but OT kind of overlaps a little bit with both of those.
00:11:28
Speaker
Oh, I love it. I actually did want to be an OT when I was in high school, because I have a little sister who has Down syndrome. And I remember their team, like she, we had that OT PT and speech all the time. And then once a week, it was all three of them together. And I just loved watching them. I mean, this thing, they would say, Hello. to Lilly. It was my favorite thing in the whole world. I love watching what you do. Oh, so sweet. I'm so glad to be a part of your little tribe too. Yeah. What would you say is the most important developmental milestone somebody should watch for in, let's say, the first few months, maybe the first four months of a baby's life?
00:12:16
Speaker
Yeah. So the first really developmental milestone we're looking for in the first four months is that head control. And that really has achieved their tummy time because head control, like a baby's ability to lift their head and hold it up is a foundational skill for all skills to come, right? From solids to motor skills to interacting in a social setting and a language area. So,
00:12:40
Speaker
head control is very important. So we want to just see baby picking that head up, rotating it around, usually about at the three month mark, you see like a significant increase in their ability to hold it up. And by four months, you can kind of start putting baby in like an upright seat and things like that, because they can hold their little head up.
00:12:59
Speaker
Love it. Okay. Have you seen there's this video a couple months ago on the internet that was viral and somebody was talking about, I don't, and I don't think that they were a professional. I think it was somebody that just was like, this is what you should do. Your baby should be able to crawl right when they're born and put them on this ramp and do it. And then like a bunch of people were like, no, please do not do this. Did you see this video?
00:13:20
Speaker
I did not do that video, but I'm sure if I would have seen it, I would have been like, oh no. Oh, okay. So don't like push your baby to do things. i think I think that's a lot that I've learned from you and other OTs is that there will be people that will say, here's what your baby should be doing. And here's the toy to do it, or here's this to do it. But really you don't need a lot of things to to get your baby to have tummy time, right? Like you could even have tummy time on your lap when you're sitting at a restaurant.
00:13:47
Speaker
Yes, absolutely. And I think there's a difference in like pushing baby past the developmental age and encouraging learning. like Getting your baby to crawl at the newborn stage, like that is crazy because they're not ready for that, right? But encouraging your baby to transition and move through crawling when they're nine months, well, then that's just fun. That's bonding. But you don't need a lot of stuff. like You really don't. and I mean, I think I could get into like a whole spiel about this. But there's just so many things on the market. But really, you just baby needs you. You know, this Oh my gosh, I feel that so deeply and I try not to get triggered when people like message me saying, should I buy this in and in my world, it's about reading
00:14:31
Speaker
And I'm like, you've taken my workshops. You have all the skills that this toy is doing. This toy is not going to teach your child. You are going to teach your child. So if you feel that you need that toy to show you what to do, then get the toy. But that toy, I hate when things like our market is like educational because every toy is educational. It's how you use it. Your laundry basket is educational. Like the toilet paper roll. And so it just drives me crazy when people are like,
00:14:58
Speaker
this, everyone has this, should I get it? That is not going to be the game changer for your child. No. And I think, you know, you, there are some quick fixes, but most of the time, I mean, if you want anything, you have to kind of work for it. Right. So it's important that you like anything work with your baby.
00:15:16
Speaker
Exactly. That would be like getting a stair stepper and being like, this is going to change your life. yeah Also, if you Yeah, it will if you use it for an hour a day, just like walking for an hour a day, which is free, well, you change it, you know, so kind of realizing what works for you and your family. And I'm a big fan of like less, less is more.
00:15:35
Speaker
me too. I'm a big minimalist. I have a hard time sometimes with my audience. I know they want me to like share products, but I'm like, which I know we're going to talk about this. I'm like, I really don't buy that many things. Like I like what I have and I just, I invest in things that I know are, are going to make the most out of my investment. Yes. Also, I don't know if you're like this, but even with clothes or anything, the more I have, the less I use. I feel like if I have a lot of outfits, I'm like, I'm too overwhelmed. I'm just going to wear pajamas. Yeah. I'm just going to wear this t-shirt and shorts. Exactly. I never get dressed. I don't know what I'm doing, but it's okay. Less is more. We don't need to do all that. Okay. I think a big topic and I know that you talk a lot about this and kind of
00:16:15
Speaker
you know, the world shows people a lot of things to worry about. And one of the biggest first things I think is a flathead. of And you do talk about this, right? Do you still do flathead assessments? Yes, absolutely free. I will probably do those till the end of time because it's just something so dear to my heart. I mean, I dealt with it as a mom and a professional and ah Literally, Beth, no one should have to deal with it if there is proper education. Yes. Oh, amazing. Okay. Another question that somebody asked when I said we were talking about this, and I'm sure you've dealt with this. I feel like every first time parent has just fear after fear because there's like, you know, you ask someone else and they're like, Oh yeah, my baby rolled over and they're
Parental Concerns and Expert Advice
00:16:58
Speaker
like, what? Or then the other side, which is a mom asked, she said to her
00:17:03
Speaker
three week old rolled over and then she was Googling it and then it said that that could be a sign of cerebral palsy. What and I think that there's just so many extremes in the world. Have you seen babies that roll early or like are really advanced like that? And can you talk a little bit about that? Oh my goodness. Yes. I feel like, Oh, I cannot. This is another thing I could really get caught up on. We could talk for hours, but Babies can roll at three weeks from belly to back like babies can roll because whenever you put them it's really not an intentional role though it's kind of an unintentional role.
00:17:33
Speaker
but when you put them on tummy time, in those first few weeks and months, you're gonna put their elbows underneath their chest because it just gives them a little bit of leverage. you know If not, they're just like head is in the surface if they're not propped up and they're gonna hate that, because you would too. So whenever their elbows are underneath their head, it just takes the slightest little rotation of the neck and gravity just takes them over. right So very typical if you see your baby do that from a tummy time position.
00:18:02
Speaker
and zero red flags, right? And that's one thing be that I really am very passionate about and really try to focus the insights on is no fear mongering. Like even a friend texted me, she was like, my baby's doing this. And the pediatrician wasn't sure from like a developmental perspective. He said it might be CP. And I'm like,
00:18:25
Speaker
send me some videos. It sounds like he's doing just fine. I've worked with a lot of babies. So let me just take a look. And if I have, if I have concern, I will tell you like it is my job. It is my obligation to tell you, right? It wound up being nothing. And so I could just rest her mom heart.
00:18:44
Speaker
And she can just enjoy her kid, right? Not miss the baby stage. Yeah. Oh my gosh. That is such a good reminder. Like don't miss the baby stage. Just worrying about all of this. No, it just changes so fast. And I mean, I really do relate to the moms that are worried because with my first, I was just in a tizzy all the time. I felt like, you know,
00:19:04
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's good. I love the phrase, you know, don't worry, don't wait. So, you know, we don't need to panic, but also like that doesn't mean if you see something, not to do something. So like your friend reaching out to you asking, I love to remind people to ask an expert. Like asking your friends is great, but it probably might get you a couple of different answers.
00:19:29
Speaker
Yes, absolutely. And that's one thing about the membership that we've launched ah and the insights, like there is a community component, but there's also experts in the community. So like a mom this week was like, Hey, my kid is 11 months and she's not doing X from like a speech perspective. And I'm a little bit concerned, but I'm not sure. And then Lacey, the speech therapist was like, no problem at all. Just do these activities. she'll be on track, I have no concerns. So I agree with that. like Asking your friends sometimes can make it almost a little bit more confusing. Yeah. Okay, so can you talk about the the speech concerns that you do hear or see parents talking about? Because I think think like words, we just had a podcast episode, how many words should my toddler know um a couple weeks ago? And I think like that's such a buzzy thing. I think people really grasp onto
00:20:21
Speaker
something tangible like that, like, oh, I can count the amount of words they can say, or, oh, I know that they know this many letters. and And those things might not really matter that much. So what are questions that you're hearing in the speech world? Yeah. So inside of my membership, there's a speech therapist that contributed that content. So I'm not like a total expert in that area.
00:20:40
Speaker
but I can tell you that by age one, we're looking for some spoken words, you know, and they might not be like super clear, but we're looking for the child to say some, mama, dad, dad, some meaningful words in their everyday activities. But from my perspective, Beth, just as like OT, so many things come before those words, you know? So like from an infancy standpoint,
00:21:09
Speaker
We really need to be like singing to our kids. I cannot tell you how silly I feel sometimes singing to my eight month old, like the ABCs. I know that is laying foundations. Singing to our kids and reading to our kids and just talking to our kids. so you know, I feel like instead of focusing on how many words is a saying focus more on what am I doing to encourage the words that is the most important part. Yes, I remember so I used to teach baby and toddler classes in person in my studio in Chicago. Many years ago now I'm all digital but
00:21:47
Speaker
I remember I have this mom who now has four or five kids, um but ah she had her oldest was, I think, 18 months, and then she had like a new baby. and She was new to the city and started taking my class. and She's like, my pediatrician is a little bit worried that my oldest isn't saying a lot of words yet. And you know I know you can't like diagnose him or anything, but are you worried about that? you know Having seen seen him in a class with toddlers for the last eight weeks. And I was like, let me pay a little bit more attention. And he would sit in the circle. He would respond to things. He had signs down. His receptive language was amazing. And so I was like, you know I'm not worried. It's so hard when you know the pediatrician sees you for five minutes. And
00:22:34
Speaker
And then they don't see the whole picture. And, you know, the next week, this kid was just talking up a storm, we see that huge leap between 18 and 24 months with language. And now they are I think in first or second grade and reading like at a sixth grade level, and they're testing them for being gifted. And and it's it's just there's so much worry in that tiny moment that if you could see the big picture, you will barely remember that you were worried that they didn't say the right number of words so quickly. Yes. Oh my goodness. So so true. And I think to a good reminder I give to moms is
00:23:13
Speaker
I know you're worried now, but like the joy is
Early Intervention and Therapy Benefits
00:23:17
Speaker
going to be the memory. Like you're not going to remember how, like I do remember, I was very worried about my child's flat head. I remember that like vividly.
00:23:26
Speaker
But all of those sweet moments that we had together made up for that that rough time. you know Just positive. I think that's a good thing to remind people of. You might be worried now, but I promise you're going to remember the joyous moments. Yeah. And the earlier to notice something, the better. And it you might your baby might outgrow that so quickly if you get the help that you need. Why do you think... I remember working with a family and They did have a speech delay and I was doing some consulting with the mom and um their child was three and really struggling with a a lot and they you know they were doing some OT, um but then the OT recommended speech because the boy was really big and so he was kind of like physical at the park because he didn't have the language skills.
00:24:13
Speaker
And everybody thought he was like five because he was so tall. It was so sad. And the dad was super resistant to starting speech therapy. Do you ever see that like one of the parents being resistant to it? Yeah, I think there is like a stigma with therapy. Because if you go to therapy, you're admitting that there is a little bit of a shortcoming, you know, like there is something that needs to be addressed.
00:24:41
Speaker
And as parents, we look at our kids and I mean, I think my kid is absolutely perfect, you know? And so I think it's like a a little bit of a, you you feel a little bit of shame because you're like, Oh, what did I do wrong? You know, but really it's not like you didn't do anything wrong. It could have just been the natural developmental course, you know? And so I think it does the child a disservice to deny the need for therapy than it is just to get them what they need, you know, because then you can just knock it out, solve the problem. If it's a quick fix and just move on, you know? Yes. Yes. I love it. Also, as we're talking, I'm literally looking at your hair and it is perfectly curled.
00:25:22
Speaker
here's this way. I'm like the girl that doesn't wash my hair. I mean, I do not wash my hair that often. I mean, at least once a week, but I have like, I feel like it does the best when it's really dirty. Yeah, you know, it really does. I'm like distracted by how perfect the curls are. late You're very sweet. And so that's that also is a reminder to follow you because I love when you do like get ready and you talk about infant development, but you're also then like, here's my skincare and here's my hair tutorial. And it's just it's very fun to follow you.
00:25:51
Speaker
Well, people like to know you. So I will say it's that's hard sometimes though, because it's like, do you really care what I'm doing? But people do like people want to know. I know they they don't trust you until they really know you, you know. ah Yes. And, and I think about it whenever I'm feeling like, Oh, do I really want to share this? It's like, you don't want to always just be learning from someone. You want to have an actual relationship. So I like that. And if I ever worry that someone thinks it's weird that I'm like doing that, I'm like, that's okay. They can they can leave they don't or they don't have like, way you're not this is not for you then. ah Yeah, yeah. Okay, so what would you say? I love to do you know, red flag, green flag. What do you think is like a red flag in
00:26:36
Speaker
early childhood development, in your opinion. This could be something that you see either like happen at schools or daycares, that you're like, ooh, this would be it for me. or if it Or it could be if a child is doing this, like that's the biggest, like okay, we need to intervene right now.
00:26:50
Speaker
Yeah. So if I think about like a big red flag that's like laying foundations and infancy into childhood, I'm thinking about how much time is being spent face to face with the child. Right? So like that's a big red flag. Oh, hey, it's me interrupting myself to tell you if you're liking what you're listening to, then you're probably going to love my big city readers on demand courses.
00:27:16
Speaker
If you've ever wondered why is that word spelled with a G and not a J, well, it's not just random. There's a reason for that. And you'll learn that in my spelling rules for second graders course. If you've ever wondered what letters to teach in what order to your preschooler, yeah, I teach you that in my preschool course too.
00:27:33
Speaker
If you've ever wondered what your kindergartners should be able to write or draw or if your toddler scribbles matter and how to guide them to the next step. Yep. You guessed it. All of my on demand courses teach you exactly how to do this. I am sort of obsessed with talking about the learning to read and write journey because I feel like there's so much misinformation about it. So I've dedicated my life to making sure that there's more clear cut fun information.
00:28:00
Speaker
And you can help your child and yourself by getting one of these courses. They are jam-packed into 15-minute on-demand lessons. And you're going to feel confident. Your child's going to feel confident. And be warned, this is no exaggeration. At least 20 parents have told me that at parent-teacher conferences, their teacher has said, oh, are you a reading specialist with the kind of questions they ask? So you're going to learn a lot. Your child's going to learn a lot. You're both going to feel confident. I promise you.
00:28:30
Speaker
um This is really all I think about ever. Oh, I sound kind of boring when I say it like that. But anyway, check out the big city readers on demand courses. Let me know if you need any help deciding what the right course for your child is. And also like let me know how the lessons are going if you're already doing them. Okay, back to the episode. I know it seems silly to sit and talk to your baby and play with your baby, but I promise it is so important for development, right?
Enhancing Sensory and Language Development
00:28:55
Speaker
So I would say a big red flag would be Are you just kind of putting your baby down on the floor or even at daycare? Are the babies just kind of like not really doing much structured activities at all? It's not, it doesn't have to be complicated. Even just like getting the babies, which they were all going to crawl away if they're crawling, but like sitting them in a circle and just singing a little song, you know, like that structured activity is a green flag.
00:29:21
Speaker
because there's lots of things that are happening there. I mean, the dots are connecting and that's just preparing them for learning and language and reading. I mean, it's just great. It's really great. It is. I think people might not realize that like hundreds of thousands of neurons are connecting in the brain the first year.
00:29:40
Speaker
And every single thing, you know, and when I used to teach the the baby class in person, I would say this, it probably feels silly to sing along with all these people next to you. But the only thing that's happening is your baby is learning attachment, is is forming connections with you, is watching your mouth to understand how to form certain sounds.
00:30:01
Speaker
is understanding how pitch works and changing our frequency and all of these things. And they're looking around at their peers and they're understanding sound is coming from this side and and where the light is coming from. And it feels so silly, but we are just wasting precious time by worrying that the mom next to us is judging us. If you're you know the mom in the target line singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to your three day old baby. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, honestly, Beth, like it seems silly, but that like my baby, when you're, when your baby's like a newborn and you're listening and singing to them and ah responding to their needs, like they're going to suit, like it might be feeding time and you're trying to like get them out of the car and get inside the feed or whatever, but like they want to hear your voice. That's soothing from a sensory perspective. That's developing those language skills, those social skills, those emotional skills.
00:30:54
Speaker
I mean, the list goes on, right? So it like you said, it sounds silly. But it is huge. I mean, that is a hill that I will definitely die on because it is so important. It is. I think I love to, um, your baby's nervous system is regulating from your nervous system regulating. and And I love to, you know, be like the super aunt and swoop in and the, I have seven nieces and nephews and my sisters live a couple minutes away. So I'm, I'm always there as much as possible, especially in the first year. And then, you know,
00:31:26
Speaker
Beyond that, I just go to like weekend games and science fairs and all that stuff. But the first year, I love to swoop in for my brother-in-law and be like, I got it when the baby's crying. They're like, how how did you do that? And I'm like, I'm regulating my nervous system. You are stressed. And so they are stressed. And if you can just like take deep breaths, they're literally learning how to soothe themselves too.
00:31:50
Speaker
Yes. Oh my goodness. I mean, you think about you put yourself in that situation, right? You put yourself in a situation where you're really frantic and you're upset. And then your partner or a friend comes in and they're frantic and they're upset. Well, now the tone is like elevated, right? So it's just, if you, if you think about it from your point of view, it does, it's not as complex, right? Right. And I think about it also, if you think about like flying and you're in turbulence and the pilot comes on and is like,
00:32:22
Speaker
Hey everybody, just fasten the seatbelts or just going through some turbulence. We're going to be landing in a couple of minutes and you can, like I feel calmer depending on the pilot's tone of voice in explaining that. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.
00:32:37
Speaker
Okay, I love that. So just having more face to face time just singing and talking to your baby. I also I think about one of my good friends. um We've worked together for many years and she now has three little ones. But I remember when she had her first new baby We were going on a walk to get some coffee and she had her, you know, in the little baby wrap and we went under the train and she was like, that's the train. So loud. People are going to work by train. Her baby was two weeks old and I, my jaw was on the floor. I was like, you are so brilliant. Yes. Oh my goodness. It's so simple. Just narrate your life, right? Just narrating things really goes a long way.
00:33:21
Speaker
Yes. I think that also is a good reminder for in maybe in the playing stage with your baby, not getting into that habit of being like, what is this? Is this a dog? What does the dog say? But narrating more, I found a dog. Yes. Okay. I love it. Okay. We'll get into narrating. I love it. i So, okay. This is more lighthearted question. Do you have a, either your own favorite childhood book or a favorite book that you read to your kids right now?
00:33:51
Speaker
Okay. So actually my favorite book to read in my kids is my favorite book from my childhood. So the book, um, I love you forever. Oh my goodness. I remember, I mean, I don't obviously remember before age five probably, but I do remember my mom, we at least had a copy of it at our house and it was very loved. It was very worn.
00:34:12
Speaker
And now I read that to my kids. And honestly, I have to be careful when I read it because if not, I'll be like, sobbing. Like I go down this emotional trail and I'm like, okay, am I, do I really want to do that tonight? Oh my God. I love that book. I mean, if people don't have it, they a hundred percent need it. Yeah. Okay. It's funny that you say that because I just had, um, someone on the podcast and they said, they were like, can I share at least to your book? And it was that one.
00:34:41
Speaker
a great book. They said that they okay, and and I can see both this because I do love that book. But they said that it started making them have anxiety about their parents dying when they were. ah Yeah, yeah. I mean, honestly, I could definitely say that. And I said, you know, for me, that was the giving tree. Like I started fearing death and like things around me.
00:35:02
Speaker
after reading that book. Did you read that book, The Giving Tree? I don't know about that one. I'm i'm sure maybe I did in childhood, but I need to look at that. No, it's it actually is a really good book. it's like I think there's spiritual underlying in it, but it's about like the boy grows up with the tree and you know he sits in the tree and you know the tree like gives him apples and he takes care of him and then they have to cut down the tree and then the boy sits on the stump and the boy is an old man. and it's like i That was the first thing for me that made me understand like life is not Yeah, we'll not have to wait to read that one to my toddler. That's what is it? Oh, it's Shel Silverstein, I think. Okay. So yeah, look it up. I wonder what you think maybe just read it to yourself and then I'll let you know. hu Okay, so are you personally reading anything right now?
00:35:52
Speaker
Okay. So I just finished the housemaid series. I read the first one. I think it's Frida McFadden. She's just so nice. And it's honestly, I don't even know her, but she seems nice. And honestly, she's like a, I think she's like a neuroscience scientist or something. and She's like super interesting to me, but love those books. Quick read. Definitely for all the moms out there recommend that for just some like self-care, you know? Yes, I love it. I am always trying to, um,
00:36:21
Speaker
read fiction and nonfiction at like one of each. And it's hard for me to read fiction because I like love to learn. Do you feel that way? Yes, I'm actually reading. So I finished that series and I'm actually reading a nonfiction book. It's called She Works His Way. And honestly, when I picked it up, I thought it was like about a little bit more of like women's empowerment, but it's actually more spiritual. It's about like working really to help others with the right intentions. Okay. All right. Love it.
00:36:51
Speaker
So I like to mix it up. Yeah, I do too. And I'm also always reading something with my eyes and my ears. You know, we need variety. Yes. Um, you said something a minute ago that I wanted to ask about, it was more about children's books.
Adapting Reading Routines
00:37:05
Speaker
Do you have a favorite like reading routine with your baby? Yeah. So we usually typically do bath time and then get dressed, which with a toddler that can be hit or miss, right?
00:37:20
Speaker
And then we all come in to the nursery, my little girl's room, and I just have my toddler. He loves to pick the book. And that's like his, that's like his life's goal, right? So he'll pick a couple books and we'll just all sit there and read together. And then I'll put them down. So that's kind of what we do every night. Sometimes he listens to the whole book. Sometimes he doesn't. My, my baby just sits and takes it all in, which is good. Good.
00:37:45
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's a good reminder to parents that it looks differently for everybody and at different stages. And one of my um tips I often share is you do not have to finish the book. Like you could just read a couple words or you could just again narrate what you see on the pictures if your kid is needing a reset or or they're just ready to go to bed. I'm like don't rush to get to the end. Just read a couple pages. That's fine. Take your time. Sometimes I summarize just for my own self. I'm like, okay,
00:38:15
Speaker
We've read four books. It's time to go. How do you cut him off? Because it's like so it's so hard. You want to be like, oh, they want another book. How do you how do you end that? so Really, in the OT world, we we learn a lot about transitioning skills just from like a ah kid's childhood ah perspective. so We'll like set a timer sometimes. We have like the duck quack, which I've shared this with my audience at times, but the duck quack timer. I mean, even if you just set it for like 10 seconds, you know, it's like the quickest little timer, but then it helps kind of break up. Okay, we're done with this activity. Now we're moving to the next, right? Yes. Also, the other thing about bedtime, just for us, and this is not really what i've I've never given this advice to others, but if there's a reason why, but on the hatch sound machine,
00:39:04
Speaker
you can like, basically program like at 730, the white noise is going to come on, right? So my toddler knows when the white noise comes on, we're kind of wrapping it up. Let someone else be the bad guy or let something else. The duck and the sound machine are always the bad guys. Yes, you are not the bad guy. I love it.
00:39:26
Speaker
Okay. So we were talking a bit before about, um you were saying like the biggest green flag is face-to-face time or literally like bonding time, not even necessarily always face-to-face, but being with the child. Somebody asked, so then how much time should I spend on like structured play or like letting them explore on their own in the first year?
Balanced Play for Childhood Development
00:39:48
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. So I think just as a mom, what I do and really from like a therapist perspective too is, you know, I'll sit baby down. I'll just kind of let her explore, put a few toys around, you know, like it depends on the age, tummy time for those young babies sitting once the baby can sit. And then once the baby can crawl, they're exploring whatever they want. Right. But then kind of once she's been playing for a while, a few minutes, depending on how long we have before her nap or before we have to leave, whatever the kind of situation looks like, I'll kind of get down there and just sit with her, you know, and talk to her and sing to her and read a book to her, stack a toy.
00:40:28
Speaker
just kind of engage, right? And then if she kind of wanders away or if she looks interested in something else, I'll just kind of pull myself back. You know, my favorite thing to do with my kids is encourage their development, but also just watch them. Like I love just watching what they do. And then if they get stuck, I can kind of help them.
00:40:46
Speaker
so Oh my gosh. Yes. My nephew. I love to watch him play. I love up to watch all of them play, but he's now, well now he's four, but I remember one time he was three and he had a, he really wanted this leftover Gatorade bottle that one of his older siblings got from their sports game. He had this leftover bottle and then he had his sippy cup of water or no, he had a cup with a straw and then he found a coffee cup and he was just pouring back and forth between these three different sizes.
00:41:16
Speaker
And he's spilling and you know you it's so easy to be like, okay, that's enough of that. But he was so invested in understanding, trying to understand, well, how come this one spilled over, but this one didn't fill all the way up. And this one has a lid and and just like looking at the the bottle sizes and difference and how much liquid they could hold and how we had to go slower for wine. And he did make a mess, but then it was, we cleaned it up together and he literally looked at me while we were cleaning up and he goes, I love you, Aunt Beth.
00:41:46
Speaker
And I feel like he was saying like, thanks for letting me make that mess. Yes, absolutely. And he was learning so much then like precision like from a motor perspective, from just like an attention perspective from like a fit like stem. I mean, gosh, I could just break that apart too. You know,
00:42:02
Speaker
This is what I think people don't realize that there's so much happening when you think nothing is happening. Oh, when nothing is happening, everything is happening. Exactly. lee Okay, do you have thoughts on play based versus academic focus preschool? Honestly, I'm not super familiar. I send my child to preschool. And it's very it's structured. It's not like Montessori. But I think there's value to whatever people choose, right? I think the one hard opinion I would have is that no structure is not a good thing.
00:42:38
Speaker
you know, like want to have even if it's play based from like a natural perspective, or it's not as long as there's some structure like learning is happening, you know, yeah, exactly. And I think I think maybe that's where people get a little confused, because I think people think that play based means no structure. But that's not true. It's just kind of similar to like,
00:42:59
Speaker
natural consequences do mean there are consequences. And I think like if we look at, you know, gentle parenting styles and and people are like, well, okay, well, there's no structure in that. But it's like, if it's done right, then there is structure and all the things. So play-based doesn't mean no structure. If it's done, if it's true play-based, there is structure in that. So yes, there, and either if the child is leading the structure, that's okay. You know, like whatever structure is in place,
00:43:26
Speaker
that learning, a lot of learning is still happening. Yes. I love it. Do you, um, I didn't tell you, I was going to ask you this question, but just as a personal question, do you lean ah one way in like choosing schools? Are you like, I love a smaller private school. I do love Montessori. I love public schools. Are you, is there one thing that that you're pulled towards? Honestly, Beth, we have a really good public school system.
00:43:51
Speaker
So our kids will likely go to public school. I mean, unless like our life kind of leads us in a different direction and we do like homeschooling based type stuff, but I just really think I just really, I want my kids to like be immersed in like different ways of life and like just different circumstances and I think where we live, a good place to do that is at the public school. I agree. I love public school, but that is a big difference. If you would homeschool, are you considering that? I'm not considering that my husband and I, and we've just talked about if we ever feel like led to do maybe, cause I just love the parent and baby space and like other countries, like if they need some support, things like that, if you're outside of the U S.
00:44:39
Speaker
then homeschool would be really the only option, right? Right. Oh my gosh, that'd be fun. And I love to teach. So it would be fun. But I don't know if it's for me. It's just if we are called elsewhere, right? Got it. Yes. I feel like James, though, he seems like a real social guy.
00:44:56
Speaker
Such a social guy and I'll tell you he thrives at school. So he loves cool. I'm like, okay. Bye, buddy I just did your videos.
Nature vs. Nurture in Child Development
00:45:05
Speaker
I'm like that kid loves to be around people but him and Myself and my husband are very social. So I mean, I feel like they just get it honest They really are who they are right from the beginning. I feel like you and My niece who's now a nine when she was a baby she was actually, we have this hilarious story that she I slept over, I was watching her and she was, you know, having breakfast, she was having like a bagel. And I said, Oh, can I have a bite? And she said, mm hmm. And like handed me a bite. And then she goes, kept it. Like she might keep it because she didn't want it back after I had touched it. And she's like, she was, you know, maybe 11 months at that stage. And now she's nine. And she still is she's like very much like, no, thanks. No hug for me. Like, she actually
00:45:53
Speaker
even um was at she was the volunteer for a magician one time. And she is so like confident in her choices and like, you know, isn't really going to be swayed by things. And she went up and the magician was kind of a little intense, you know, and he was like, doing some ridiculous stuff. And he like, he was like, Okay, now I'm gonna lift you and put you on the table. And she goes, actually, no, thanks. And she I do not want to volunteer for this.
00:46:17
Speaker
Yeah, she goes, actually, I'm done. And I remember like going up to her, my sister goes, are you crying? And I was like, yeah, a little. But I went up to her, and I was like, you're so brave. And she's like, how was that brave? I just didn't want to do it. And I was like, wow, she really like was who she was, like very like independent. And like no, I'm not going to try to make you feel better about anything. And she was like that from day one.
00:46:39
Speaker
Yes, I love that. I mean, there's so many personality types and temperaments and nature versus nurture. like We could get into all that, but I do think you know a lot of things are there from the start. Yes, agree. Okay. You just said attachment and stuff like that. Do you focus on that in your membership? do people I feel like that's a big topic lately about you know, people fear that their kids are going to be too attached to them or like things like that. Are you seeing that? And do you talk about this? There definitely are some places we talk about it from like a lactation perspective, like bonding, because that really contributes to breastfeeding success in a new mom. But then also just from like a soothing perspective to support sleep, you know, from a learning perspective. So it's kind of woven in. I mean, I don't think
00:47:32
Speaker
And this is, I don't have a lot of a hard, a lot of hard opinions. I do on some things and people that know me know that I do, but I think it's okay. We don't have to put too much thought into that. It's okay. If you're just like natural and whatever kind of tendencies you lean towards that makes you the mom for your baby. You know? Yes. Yes. I
Parenting Advice and Expert Support
00:47:54
Speaker
love it. Okay. What is something that you wish every parent of an under one year old knew?
00:48:02
Speaker
I would say that every parent is a great parent if they care about their baby, right? And I think in a world where there's just so much knowledge at our fingertips, you might feel like you don't have all the answers, but that doesn't make you less of a parent. So that's kind of what I would say, I guess is like get support if you need support.
00:48:29
Speaker
but don't feel like you're less than it if you don't have it all figured out because you and your baby are both learning all the time. Yes. Oh, that's huge. Remembering like nobody has it all figured out even. and And like, even if they say they do, that's probably a red flag for me is somebody that's like, this is exactly what you should do. And if they haven't like met you or your child, don't, don't take that advice or take it with a grain of salt, you know,
00:48:56
Speaker
Yeah. No one had, I feel like parenthood parenting in general is just like, well, I think this works for us. We'll just try it. Oh, and the internet really is just, it makes it so much harder. I've seen people lately being like, here is my biggest mom hack. And it's like feed your kids at four. And everyone's like, this is groundbreaking. Feed your kids dinner at four. And I was like, I literally grew up doing that. And and so I think there's so much in front of you that feels like, Oh, shoot, everyone's doing this. And it's like, well, everyone was always doing different things. And it was just not right in front of you. um And you just have to like, do what works for you. Absolutely. And I'm so passionate about about finding a couple experts that you can really trust and just focusing on that. like And that's really one of my passions for info insights is to just be
00:49:47
Speaker
like a knowledge hub, where if they can trust me, if they can trust the experts on our team, then they don't have to follow 30 baby accounts, you know, like, it's okay, like, if you have a lactation question, we have a lactation consultant. If we have this question, we have it inside the membership, like, it's just all there. You know, yes, I think a bit like you wouldn't have 200 people in your house talking to you and especially thinking about if you think about social media, like if you look at it right when you wake up or when you're going to sleep, imagine having those 200 people talking to you, giving you information in your house, and none of them are actually having dialogue with you. They're just talking at you. You would be very overwhelmed. So as clean up your social media. Do not go on the explore page or just do it like once a week. you know Listen to pick like your three people. I love that advice. Pick your three people.
00:50:44
Speaker
and go to them and if you trust them so you're talking about the first year well that person if they've picked you as one of their people they trust and they have a question about something that isn't in your wheelhouse, you're going to refer them to the right person that you trust. So it's going to keep, you don't need to be like, I need the right, the reading person, the writing person, the this, this, this, you can, you can be like, I trust these three people. And if something comes up outside of this, I also trust who they're going to connect me to. Yes, absolutely. That is just so important. And I love that about the people in your house. And I mean, I just really do think it can be overwhelming at times for everybody.
00:51:23
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Oh my gosh. um Well, okay, we're going to link where everybody can find you. And I'm like, is there anything else I wanted to circle back to? You're so efficient. I love it. But we're going to link where they can find you, um follow you, join the membership. but Is there anything else that you want parents to know?
00:51:44
Speaker
Yeah, just follow in the insights if anything kind of resonated with you and send me a DM. I really, um talking about social media, the one qualm I have with social media is I really wish I could like talk to everybody like I talk to them. So if you do have kind of an interest in like deeper connection, then I would definitely recommend the Bloom membership because that community is kind of always available and open.
00:52:10
Speaker
I love it. Yes, it's so hard to keep up with the DMS. And I feel bad, you know, someone will be like, Hi, did you forget about me? I'm like, Oh, they're just like hundreds of messages coming in. And it's hard to find them. And I do want to send a voice message to every person that asks me a question. And I do want to read every story. But then you end up spending 12 hours a day on social media. And then you're like, also, I have to run my company. Yes, I've got to like figure out what to do, you know,
00:52:35
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I love it. Oh my gosh, Brooke. Well, thank you so much for being here. um Will you come back on again sometime? Yes. Oh, I feel like you're just great to talk to. And this is easy. Oh, good. Okay, great.