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Summer Refresh: Dreaming of Your Ex
96 Plays10 months ago
In the final episode of our Summer Refresh series, we revisit Episode 29 to explore the common meanings behind dreams involving your ex. This was first aired as part five of our series on "the deep" things of God.
As we know, dreams are frequently metaphorical. Dreaming about past relationships or even friendships is no exception! Often when we dream about a former relationship, friendship, boss, or even colleague, it is unlikely that God is directing us to return to those situations. Instead, such dreams often indicate that you may be in danger of, or have already fallen back into, old habits, thought patterns, or belief systems prevalent in that dynamic. Discerning which area of your life God is speaking to and understanding the context of the dream is key to gaining clarity.
Margaux shares a personal dream involving an ex-boyfriend, who often symbolizes a spiritual dynamic prevalent in her past relationship with him. In her dream, this ex-boyfriend wasn't a call to rekindle the relationship, but a warning from God that she might be at risk of falling under the influence of these negative forces again. Additionally, if you’re having dreams where you're either kissing, holding hands, or walking with someone from the past, do not fret! This can symbolically represent agreement or alignment with what that person represents in your life. Understanding these symbols can help you navigate the deep spiritual truths God is revealing through your dreams.
*Scripture References: Psalm 29; Revelation 2:4-5
“Anytime there’s pain around something there’s a huge opportunity to believe something false.”
“We don’t have to be afraid of these kinds of dreams or images. Holy Spirit is never going to push us away, He’s always drawing us to Him. There is a fear of punishment or getting called out that so many of us have around these things, but God does not deal in shame…He operates in truth, He loves to reveal what’s hidden, and He loves to keep us healthy and connected to Him and ourselves.”
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Email: margaux@permissiontoreign.com
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Intro Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Image by Claire Fischer from Unsplash
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Transcript
Opening the Season of Breathing Underwater
00:00:00
Speaker
Opening this September is a fresh season of the Breathing Underwater membership. If you're ready to dive into God's voice in your dreams and in your life ears peeled for that, and there's more details in the show notes. This is Breathing Underwater, the summer refresh series.
00:00:29
Speaker
We were designed to hunger for the deep things of God, to thrive on faith and wonder, to seek out divine wisdom that defies human logic. We were designed to unlock the mysteries of God. This is Breathing Underwater.
00:00:58
Speaker
Welcome everybody to episode 29.
The Significance of Number 29 in Scripture
00:01:01
Speaker
My name is Margo. I am the host of the show. The number 29, I'm gonna give you the interpretation for this straight from a book that I have by Troy Brewer called Numbers That Preach because I really resonate with what he is associating with the number 29 here. And he says that the number 29 has to do with mountains and mountains are very prophetic imagery in scripture.
00:01:25
Speaker
There are 29 mountains named in the Bible. I will not go through all of those right now. I will spare you, but you could do your own research. And it just so happens to be that the official highest mountain in the world, which we know is Mount Everest, is 29,029 feet.
00:01:43
Speaker
Give me a break. And Psalm 29 is all about the voice of God and mountains in scripture have to do with worship and going up the mountain to to worship God and to hear his voice. So 29 is mountains and hearing the voice of the Lord. Yes, God.
Dreams and Their Spiritual Messages
00:02:24
Speaker
Have you ever had a dream about a past relationship? or Or that person shows up in your dream, any kind of relationship, but especially the romantic kind? Yeah, I had one last night, in fact. And so I knew, okay, we're gonna talk about this today. Because in our series on the deep, we've been talking about the different facets of the deep that we go into when we're breathing under water.
00:02:47
Speaker
And one of those is the deep things of God, how the Spirit shows us and searches all the deep things of God and actually shares with us what comes from the heart and mind of God. Also talking about the depths of the Spirit, the deep things of the Spirit realm.
00:03:04
Speaker
like spiritual truths, spiritual agreements, spiritual beings, all of that jazz. And we're also talking about the deep places in our heart and soul and mind that pretty much only God knows what's going on there and he will often give us dreams about such things.
00:03:21
Speaker
I don't know about you, but I love to know what's going on in my heart and my mind. height I pride myself on being someone that is pretty self-aware and connected to my heart. I spend a lot of time ah tuning to myself and really knowing where I'm at and gardening my heart, if you will. But there is still so much going on in there that I'm like, what even is this? Why am I feeling that? Why is do I keep bumping up against this frustration? And God is so kind that He will speak to us about that. He'll help us name it.
00:03:50
Speaker
He will show us an issue that's going on, and oftentimes, if he's speaking in our dreams, it's gonna be really metaphorical. So, before you freak out and flush all those dreams about your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, you might be married and you just had a dream about kissing your ex-girlfriend. You're like, what? Ah!
00:04:07
Speaker
Well, as always, we don't need to be afraid, but God's imagery is often really different than what we think it means. And if it's offending us a little bit, I would say it's probably even more clear that it's God because he's not afraid to offend us to get our attention. He's trying to get our attention. So what does it mean if you dream about a past relationship?
00:04:30
Speaker
Well, the good news is, I'll start with this, it is very unlikely that this dream is about you getting back into some sort of relationship with that person. It is more likely that God is just showing you that you are either at risk of or already have fallen back into like an old thought pattern, old habits, old belief systems.
00:04:57
Speaker
And depending on who the relationship is in the dream, that is going to point to the area of your life that these habits or these mindsets are around. So if you are dreaming about a past love or a romantic relationship, that's going to be one facet of your life.
00:05:14
Speaker
If you're dreaming about an old friend that you used to be in friendship with, that's gonna speak about that area of your life. If this is a coworker or a boss, it is gonna speak about that area of your life, okay? So obviously, taking note of that realm of your life that you were in relationship with that person in is gonna give you big clues.
00:05:35
Speaker
The second thing I would ask is, what were what was the context in the dream? What were you doing? What was your response to them? Were you pursuing them? Were they pursuing you? Were you thick as thieves again? Or was it like you were estranged still and you didn't really know how you were wanting to respond to them? Because that's all going to reveal.
00:05:57
Speaker
potentially if you are already falling back into a belief system or old habits or if you're just at risk of doing that, okay?
Analyzing a Dream About an Ex-Boyfriend
00:06:05
Speaker
So for instance, I'm gonna be super vulnerable and tell you about my dream last night. I actually think there's more to come out of this dream, but this is what I have so far. I dreamt of my ex-boyfriend from high school. We were in a relationship for six years and it was a very forming relationship.
00:06:24
Speaker
It was also a really emotionally and mentally abusive relationship.
00:06:31
Speaker
Anytime I dream about him, I know that God is speaking about either that time in my life or a particular spirit of manipulation and control, which is what he operated in a lot, or giving me some discernment around that popping up in my life. Or he's talking to me about what I believed about myself and about my relationship with men at that point.
00:06:57
Speaker
I don't dream about him that much anymore, but especially once I was going through a lot of healing, I did dream about him quite a bit. And in some of those, God was actually bringing me back to memories or things that had happened then that he wanted to heal. But last night, that is not what was happening. And in this dream, he was wooing me. He was absolutely trying to get me back, quote unquote. And I knew in the dream, like, oh, we're not together. This is not a thing. This has not been a thing for a long time. But he was pulling out all the stops. He was bringing romantic music. He was professing his love. It felt really kind and really genuine. He even, at one point towards the end of the dream, was saying he was gonna give up his six-figure paying job to be with me, if that's what it took. It was all of these different
00:07:48
Speaker
grandiose, generous offers of self-sacrifice in some way to be back with me. And I remember even in the dream being like, man, this seems really genuine. Like he feels really ah repentant and earnest about this. Even though I knew like, no, we're not together. There is separation here. But there was still this measure of recognizing that it it felt really genuine and I was, I wouldn't say that I was moved toward him to actually respond but I was, it was very curious how true everything he was saying felt.
00:08:31
Speaker
Well, when I woke up, and I still actually have to sit with this a little bit more because I want to delineate exactly, okay, God, show me the areas where this is coming at me because I'm sure there's more than I'm thinking of offhand. But offhand, I can already tell you, this is one of those things that manipulation does. It can be very emotionally manipulative, meaning everything looks and feels so genuine and they're pulling at your heartstrings.
00:09:00
Speaker
pulling on a part of your heart to get this empathy or to get this basically agreement with whatever lie they're giving you or facade they're showing you in that moment. Now, especially when there's pain or there's a lie that we're already believing about ourselves or something that we need to do, it can be really easy to just latch on to the the false thing that's happening and to believe that.
00:09:29
Speaker
And that's a lot of what happened in my relationship with him. When there was wounding with me or there was this expectation that, oh my gosh, but he needs me and I should blah, blah, blah. And look, all all these other times where he was this way and it could be like that again. I mean, that right there is the hook of a manipulate manipulative relationship right there. And it's a cycle because something really gnarly happens, something really abusive and and bad. And then the next thing you know that person is,
00:09:57
Speaker
profusely apologizing and looks like they're turning everything around and just going above and beyond with the romance and the apology and we want to believe them. But it is a facade and they're stuck in something that they can't get themselves out of and then we get sucked into it. Okay, I'm not gonna get on my soapbox about this dynamic anymore, although I could.
00:10:18
Speaker
But my point being that because I know what my past tendencies were, specifically in my relationship with him, I knew that that God was saying, I'm being wooed by this again. That there's in some area of my of my life or my thought life that I'm being drawn in by this old narrative, by these old ways, these old lies, these old beliefs, these old beliefs really.
00:10:47
Speaker
And thinking about this and praying about it, I kept hearing the song Believer by Imagine Dragons, I think is the name of the artist. I don't really know that song. i just The hook of that song or the the course of that song is pretty catchy. So I knew that part of it and that just kept going through my head. So I looked up the song because I had a hunch that God was speaking to me through this.
00:11:11
Speaker
How many of you know, if you just can't get a song out of your head, go look up the lyrics. It might be God. Oftentimes it is. So I went and looked up the lyrics and it was actually really profound and goes right along with what we're teaching about these kinds of dreams. The chorus of that song says, pain, you've made me a believer. Pain, you've made me a believer.
00:11:38
Speaker
And this is exactly what that old pattern of belief was. Because of my pain when I was younger and in relationship with him, it made me believe these things about myself that were absolutely untrue. And they also made me believe things about him ah that were absolutely untrue. And right now in my life here in 2023, I have a lot of this same old pain coming back up. God is bringing it to the surface. If you heard my My episode on the locusts, you'll you'll know what I'm talking about. But a lot of this old pain is coming up. But I think while this is coming up and God is bringing it up to actually address it and heal it, He's showing me through that dream I had last night that while this pain is coming up, these old belief systems are trying to woo me into agreement again. And any time there's pain around something, there's a really huge opportunity to be believing something false.
00:12:38
Speaker
So that is my very vivid example from last night, but there are also many other examples. For instance, if you dreamt about an old boss, let's say the two of you were having lunch together and you were buddies and you were close, but in real life during that time that you were in quote-unquote relationship with that boss, he was actually really critical and harsh and you felt like you didn't measure up around him. I would recognize that belief system or look at some of the habits that were happening in your life around that time and ask yourself and God and say, okay, am i am I believing those same things about me, about my work ethic or my ability to perform in the workplace? And I'm using the examples of work and that sphere of life because that's you're the nature of your relationship with this person.
00:13:38
Speaker
It doesn't 100% of the time mean that this mindset or these habits are coming up around that area of your life, although I think it's really important to think, is that what this is speaking about? It also could be God using that person to illustrate the particular belief system you had period, and it could be applied to different areas of your life.
00:13:57
Speaker
It could also be that you are having a dream of a friend that you'd fallen out with and maybe in this dream, they pop back up and they're trying to get back in relationship with you and you're not sure how you feel about it in the dream. Pay attention to that. Think back. What were the habits around that time? What were the beliefs that I had about myself and that person even? Are those things coming back in my life? Because it sounds like they're trying to get me back into agreement.
00:14:26
Speaker
Now, it isn't always negative, especially in the instance where maybe it's a first love, where you're back in relationship with your first love. This could be a little disconcerting at moments because I know we're like, oh my gosh, why was I kissing my first love in my dream last night? Am I still in love with them? Jesus, search my heart. I'm married. Please, no. Why am I having a dream about my first love? Does that mean we're getting back together? No, no, no. Calm down.
00:14:51
Speaker
It's very, very unlikely that it means that. So in that case, I would say, you know, scripture talks about Jesus being our first love. So this could be Jesus saying, hey, return to me. I'm calling you into deeper intimacy or I'm calling you back into the relationship that you and I had at first.
00:15:11
Speaker
And this dream, like all dreams, really the purpose is to draw us closer to God and start a conversation. What are you showing me? What is it that I need to see? He's so kind to give us a heads up and he wants
Meaning of Intimate Imagery in Dreams
00:15:26
Speaker
to heal us. He wants to speak truth. He doesn't want us to fall back into these old traps. So the purpose is always to go to him, ask him what he is showing you about this.
00:15:36
Speaker
I wanted to touch on just a couple more things before we close, and that is some of the imagery around kissing, holding hands, walking with someone, being in bed with someone, because this will oftentimes come up in the context of old relationships, but it doesn't have to just be in that context.
00:15:56
Speaker
Obviously, some of these can feel more uncomfortable than others in a dream and sometimes these things happen with people that you're like, I i don't know them at all. Why am I kissing that person? I don't like them. I'm not romantically and attracted to them like what's happening here? Why am I in bed with this person? This feels really awkward.
00:16:15
Speaker
Well, while it can mean exactly what you are insinuating that it means, it absolutely can, and you're the only one that's gonna know that, it probably doesn't. these All of these signs, kissing, holding hands, walking with, and being in bed with someone all denote agreement. It's showing that you are in agreement with that person over something or what that person represents, right? Because people are not always literal. Oftentimes, are metaphorical in your dreams.
00:16:44
Speaker
I have had dreams where I'm in bed with someone that I barely know, but I know who they are and what they carry, and God is showing me that I'm in agreement with that, that I'm in agreement with who I am in that same way. Or I am somehow in intimacy with that person or what that person would represent in my life. That doesn't always mean sexual intimacy. We have to remember, you can be intimate with friends. You can be intimate with God. It's not only sexual.
00:17:10
Speaker
Kissing can mean you're in agreement. You are making an agreement with the person in the natural. Maybe there's a business deal you're closing and you and this person that you have a business relationship with are kissing. What? Yeah, it's probably just talking about that business deal and there being an agreement that's made right here or that you will make that agreement in the future. I actually had a friend who sent me a dream yesterday. She said, Margo, what does kissing in a dream mean again? And I could just feel it like, oh, what was happening?
00:17:38
Speaker
And I said, agreement, it tell me tell me what the the dream was about. And she in her dream was kissing a man who is like a father type figure to her, who is not of any romantic interest and has a particular role. And she's like, what does this mean? And it really just meant that he represented the father to her in the dream and he also represented the apostolic.
00:18:04
Speaker
because that guy is an apostle. And my friend is also called to be an apostle and to do some apostolic things. So we knew that God was just showing her that the Father is in agreement. She ended the Father in agreement over who she is and her calling and what she's doing. And she had the Father's blessing.
00:18:24
Speaker
So I hope this shows us that we just don't have to be afraid of these kind of dreams. We don't have to be afraid of these images because Holy Spirit is never gonna push us away. He's always drawing us in. And there's still this weird fear of punishment or getting called out. I don't exactly get it that so many of us have around these things. Oh, I'm getting in trouble. Or maybe I'm thinking something I shouldn't think. Or, oh, shame on me. But God does not deal in shame.
00:18:50
Speaker
Ever, ever, ever, ever, never. Shame only came into our realm when Adam and Eve stepped over into the knowledge of good and evil. It was not present before that. So this is not something that God is ever dealing in. We do not need to fear that, but he does operate in truth and he loves to reveal what's hidden and he loves to keep us healthy and he loves to keep us connected to him and to ourselves, okay? So great job getting through that one today. I am really looking forward to getting some emails and hopefully some stories from those of you who are getting
00:19:32
Speaker
interpretation now from some of these dreams that you had put aside, or at least you will not put them aside anymore, or throw them away, you'll start to write them down because there's something really important happening in this. So, gosh, I just love that about God and I love that about dreams.
00:19:47
Speaker
I loved teaching on this today. Thanks for going on the journey and letting me be vulnerable. There's just so much we can glean out of the revelation in our dreams. And I'm gonna leave you here, bid you adieu, but I'm gonna be back soon. And until then, happy dreaming to all of you.