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10. How to Connect with your Soul Self: a Body Gratitude Practice, with Amy Quinn, LCSW, CEDS
156 Plays1 year ago
Join us in the resistance against "Bounce Back Culture" with Amy Quinn, LCSW, as she leads us through a grounding mindfulness exercise and a raw conversation about the body image challenges many women face during pregnancy and postpartum.
Amy will help you better understand how you can connect with your true "soul self" and embrace the many changes that your body will experience during this time, and really, through your entire lifespan.
You can learn more about Amy's private practice (in California) and her womens wellness retreats (think tropical destinations and swimming with wild dolphins!) at her website www.amyquinn.com. You can also email her directly at amyquinnlcsw@gmail.com or find her on instagram @amyquinnlcsw
Links and resources mentioned in the episode:
Generation Mindful "Time-in" Toolkit
The power of proprioceptive input for sensory and emotional regulation
Postpartum Support International Helpline and Mental Health Support
South Bay (Los Angeles Beach Cities) Mommy and Me
South Bay (Los Angeles Beach Cities) Eating Disorder Coalition
Dr. Jen's Practices for Connecting with Future You
You can learn more about Rachel's California-based group therapy practice and how you can work with her at www.racheldaggettlmft.com or on instagram @rachelscouch
If you enjoyed this episode and appreciate what we share here, we would be so honored if you shared the show and followed us @bloomafterbaby on instagram so that we can connect with you and reach more mamas!
We’d also be so grateful if you would rate and review our podcast in your favorite podcast app, because that’s the best way for a new podcast to get more people to listen so we can keep growing!
*Please note that this podcast is intended for educational purposes only, and is not a substitute for seeking individualized care from a mental health or medical professional"
Learn more about us and access all of our courses, coaching services, and free resources at bloomafterbaby.com
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Transcript
Introduction to Bloom After Baby
00:00:02
Speaker
You're listening to Bloom After Baby, the podcast. We're your hosts, Rachel Daggett and Jen Jordan. We're a therapist and a doctor and both moms of two. We're here to discuss the mental health and wellness needs that are unique to motherhood. From confusing hormone swings to your expanding body to boundaries and tricky relationships, we'll give you the information you need to experience motherhood in a way that feels good to you.
00:00:30
Speaker
Thanks so much for tuning in. Let's get to it.
Body Image and Acceptance during Perinatal Periods
00:00:36
Speaker
Welcome back to our podcast, a bit frazzled with Bloom After Baby. This is Rachel here with you today and I am meeting today with Amy Quinn, licensed clinical social worker and certified eating disorder specialist.
00:00:52
Speaker
We're focusing our chat today on the topic of body image, body gratitude, body acceptance, body love, all those things around that, especially during the perinatal, so postpartum and pregnancy periods. So if you know me, you know that I have a practice primarily initially built around this population. And something I am super, super passionate about is helping women heal their relationships with their bodies and
00:01:19
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their body image and self image and just changing our cultural attitudes towards not just food and dieting, but also body size and body image and self-esteem and all the things that come along with that.
00:01:32
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Amy also does incredible work with this. I actually have learned so much from her in my clinical training. I've consulted with her on many cases. We've shared these cases and I just love her spirit and her light. She's a beautiful human being in and out and she has so much to offer all of us, whether you have a history with an eating disorder or disordered eating or a troublesome or complicated relationship with your body and your body image and self image.
Changing Cultural Attitudes towards Body Image
00:02:02
Speaker
During the perinatal period our bodies are in a really vulnerable place and our our views of ourselves can change while our bodies also change. Jen and I really wanted for this topic to be something we started the year off for you guys because we kind of want to help drown out the sound of all of the new year's resolution, new year, new me talk for women as a whole but especially for mamas who are pregnant and expecting
00:02:32
Speaker
and growing a baby or who are recovering and in postpartum because it's just so incredibly important that we tune into our bodies during that time and treat our bodies with love and respect during that time. There's obviously things that Dr. Jenny will educate us more about as time goes on. There are some
00:02:50
Speaker
medical conditions and health concerns that can come up and can make weight or weight gain or nutrition an area of focus and of importance in pregnancy and postpartum. We really want to encourage non-shaming language around this and really just at the end of the day coming home to our bodies and allowing our bodies to do what they need to do.
00:03:12
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and to honor our needs and our body's needs to heal and recover and build these babies, these human beings from scratch and just to be kyder to ourselves. Dr. Jen and I did do an episode kind of starting our conversation around this where I shared a personal story.
00:03:27
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around a not so good encounter with an OB around pregnancy weight gain and so we have a lot of posts on our social media, our Instagram around just rethinking how we talk about weight gain during pregnancy and not over generalizing or having overly rigid
00:03:43
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views of weight restrictions and just knowing that health is so much more than a number. I'm so excited to have Amy here today.
Mindfulness Practice for Body Gratitude
00:03:50
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I know she has so much to tell us and to encourage you about. And full disclosure, I want to let you know that Amy does lead us through a mindfulness practice for the first few minutes of the episode. I participated in it fully and it was so calming for me to go through it. And so I hope that you are able to
00:04:13
Speaker
take the time and just maybe five minutes at the beginning of our episode of our recording to sit in it and see what comes up for you and see how it feels for you to just pause and dive in and check in with yourself and your body. If you are not in a place where
00:04:28
Speaker
that is just not your cup of tea right now. Maybe you're driving or you're just not feeling doing a mindfulness meditation practice right now. Please feel free to fast forward through that and maybe you can go back to it later. But just full disclosure, I want you all to know what's coming up at the beginning of our recording here. So without further ado, let's go ahead and hear from my dear friend and colleague, Amy Quinn.
00:04:53
Speaker
Amy, thank you so much for joining us today. I'm so, so grateful for your time and your energy and being here. What I love most about Amy is just her beautiful soul and genuineness. I'm really grateful that she's here to share her energy and her time and her heart with
00:05:10
Speaker
All of you, and if you are pregnant or postpartum, I'm so grateful that you can get a little taste of what Amy has to offer us in this super, super vulnerable and scary time for a lot of new mamas. Thanks so much for having me, my love. So mainly we're focusing on body image and body gratitude and
00:05:27
Speaker
I know for me, one of the biggest shocks of pregnancy and postpartum was coming to terms with this new body and not even just around like shape or size, but also just how differently your body functions and how much fundamental change there is. One big thing that Jen and I want to talk about in our curriculum and in our future courses is the idea of body gratitude. So really trying to shift that focus on all of the amazing
00:05:55
Speaker
magical, miraculous things our bodies are doing. And I know you do a lot of that with your clients and so I was hoping you could lead us through a little grounding exercise body scan just to get us started today. Okay, mindfulness and centering is so essential for us to find our ease and peace. If you can find a comfortable seat, I want to invite you to close your eyes or have a soft gaze down.
00:06:23
Speaker
put one hand on your heart, one hand on your belly. And I also offer you to give yourself a little gentle rub, like a soothing, nurturing, hugging rub, just as you were to do to a little baby. And know that when you are nurturing yourself, that inner child, that only helps you regulate and center
00:06:54
Speaker
and be able to expand your capacity for peace and love, compassion for yourself. So take a long, deep and smooth breath in. And a big, releasing exhale out. And I want you to drop down into this soul space
00:07:24
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The space where you are your most authentic self. And breathe into her, Mama. This is the essence of you, which is most important. Our soul self is the self that if we didn't have a body, our loved ones would know we're in the room.
00:07:53
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by our love, our energy, the way we love. Take a nice long, deep and smooth breath in. And a big releasing exhale out. Connecting with that soul self, which is pure love. And coming back to the physical body
00:08:24
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and noticing if you have any pain or discomfort. Where am I feeling tension? Notice what feels easy to feel grateful for with a physical body.
00:08:52
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and perhaps what may not feel as easy. Be curious about that. So I'm gonna go through the top of our head to the tip of our tootsie toes and offer some loving gratitudes for you to take with you. And I encourage you to practice every day
00:09:22
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loving compassion self-talk and gratitude because as a woman our bodies are incredible we can create miracles with them and we don't talk about that enough they're so strong so coming to our beautiful head how it supports us contains this beautiful brain
00:09:55
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Our eyes, which we can see the world, see our loved ones and our babies, our noses smelling beautiful flowers, scents, yummy foods, gratitude to our ears for hearing music, laughter,
00:10:24
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our mouths, lips, tasting flavors, giving kisses, and our shoulders and arms, gratitude for these arms to hug, to hug ourselves, to hug our babies, to hug our partners,
00:10:54
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Gratitude for our chest, which holds our hearts. Mmm. That offers so much love. Gratitude for our breasts. They change in prenatal and in postpartum. They're able to feed our children. That is America.
00:11:26
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coming down to our bellies. Now this can be, and most common, a part that is difficult to have gratitude, but is most important. It is where we house our baby, and we create a whole new organ in there, the placenta, and giving our beautiful bellies gratitude for
00:11:56
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expanding and homing our babies, feeding and nourishing ourselves and our babies. Gratitude and compassion and nurture is essential. Coming down to our hips, these are so powerful.
00:12:24
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We hold so much emotion in those hips. They need tending. So I encourage you to put your hands on your hips and rub them every day. Give those hips love. They keep our legs in place, our torso. They do so much in allowing us to function.
00:12:56
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gratitude for our pelvis and our bum, allowing us to have cushion as we sit, gratitude for our legs. And this can be another difficult spot. And I offer that curiousness and compassion, self-talk,
00:13:27
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Any negative judgment or comparison is from stigma and society and it is not important. Coming back to that soul self that is pure love. That's what we want to share and model to our children and to our youth.
00:13:54
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Coming back to our strong legs that help us walk around, run, be close to the people that we love. Get us from point A to point B. And last but not least, our feet and our toes. I always like to give those feet a nice rub.
00:14:25
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There's so many nerve endings in our feet that can offer a beautiful emotional release when you give them some tending. So I encourage that. Our feet root us to Mother Earth. Whenever you feel tired, overwhelmed,
00:14:56
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anxious, depressed. Know that you're not alone. And there's so many amazing humans and supports out there that hold space for you and lift you. And with daily gratitude, with self and with body,
00:15:26
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That is that support that you will encompass and embody. So when you're ready, bringing your hands to your heart and one to your belly, take one more nice, long, deep and smooth breath in. And a big, releasing exhale out.
00:15:56
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Give yourself one more loving, nurturing hug before we return. And when you're ready, let me open your eyes. How do you feel? I don't want to come back. I want to stay there longer.
00:16:27
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Oh, thank you, Amy. That may be just five minutes, right? We can get to a calm, loving, nurturing, compassionate place with ourselves in such a short time. It really is incredible. Even as a mind-body focused therapist,
00:16:46
Speaker
myself every time I do my own exercise like this, particularly when I'm led through it by someone else that I feel safe with and know your voice is so soothing to me as it is. Just reminded of how imperative it is that we practice this on a daily basis.
00:17:03
Speaker
because sitting here, we're coming off of the holidays right now as we record this, and as it'll be released, it'll still be January. Woo, my anxiety is spiking, and my kids are downstairs right now with my hubby, and he's hanging with them, but I can hear them, right? And as we were going through that, I could notice, I heard the baby squawking or Reed talking or whining or whatever, and I could feel my adrenaline and cortisol spike, like really, and then just having that ability to come back in
00:17:31
Speaker
focus on your voice, focus on where we are in the body. It's just something that we need to and can do on a regular daily basis to help us during those real life moments of overstimulation and anxiety and thank you. I needed that this morning and I hope if you are listening, I hope you can also come back to this episode. We will tag it and remind you, our followers and listeners, where this episode is so you know you can come back
00:17:57
Speaker
to it anytime you feel like you need some grounding and also just some gratitude of what your body is doing when you're having a hard body image day. Thank you, Amy. You're welcome. Something else I wanted to share.
Understanding Soul Self vs. Critical Self
00:18:10
Speaker
I do this with my kids every night. We just like part of our night routine when I put them to bed.
00:18:17
Speaker
We say, and I put my hands on their head and then on their chest, and they repeat after me. We say, calm mind, calm body. I love my mind. I love my body. Rest my mind. Rest my body. I love my mind. I love my body. And then we say, time to dream, time to sleep, time to dream, time to sleep. Yeah. It's like for myself and for them. Yeah, totally.
00:18:45
Speaker
Totally. So one of my favorite things that you teach about is the soul self. And you mentioned it a little bit in that exercise. And I remember one time you doing a talk about it in our South Bay Eating Disorder Coalition, one of our quarterly events. And I was pregnant at the time. I was newly pregnant and so, so sick. I think I was like 30 minutes late to the meeting. I was the president at the time. So it was like, I was just stressed. So stressed, so sick.
00:19:15
Speaker
somehow I made it there but I was so glad I did because you led us through one of these and I made it on time for that. But I remember you talking about how when you know you're in touch with that soul self because you can often like notice the tone of someone's voice will change or like the volume or there's signs that someone who's in the room with you or who you're working with or talking to they've dropped into that place. And I can certainly feel it. And I love that you talked about that day because
00:19:45
Speaker
I never had thought about it that way or noticed it. So will you just share a little bit about what you mean when you talk about the soul self and how can moms find that part of themselves and what does that really mean? Sure. I was introduced to this concept soul self in my work at a treatment center, Montanito. And pioneer Carolyn Costin wrote a book about the eating disorder self and the soul self. And it was such a resonating,
00:20:15
Speaker
concept for me and we talked a lot about about that in that talk, but it doesn't you don't have to have an eating disorder, right? It can be a critical self or the unsupportive self. I use that a lot in my work with mamas. So whatever kind of resonates for you, it's that critical self. It's that negative narrative and just being able to discern the difference, right? So when am I feeling more dysregulated emotionally?
00:20:44
Speaker
We're probably in a place of an unsupportive self because we're tired or we're getting caught up in comparison or there's judgment or we just need a break. And the soul self is really connecting to our needs and nourishing our body physically, emotionally, spiritually, and regulating and having this alignment, this attunement
00:21:14
Speaker
where there is this ease and ability to find comfort. And I keep coming back to ease because when I'm in my soul self, I feel such ease because I'm normally a hyperactive, anxious human. And so it takes a lot of effort for me. And I practice daily so that I can continue to experience these moments. We're spiritual beings as humans.
00:21:42
Speaker
And so the soul self connects us to this like spiritual parts of like, like a universal connection to our world. And so we're then not connected so much to what's not so important stigma or like societal norms or pressures that we talked about ego before we were getting on.
00:22:08
Speaker
this call that's all like the ego base of oh my gosh I gotta get I got I'm not good enough or my house isn't cleaner everything is a mess and there's just judgment after judgment and so that's really being able to discern the difference between
00:22:23
Speaker
the unsupportive self or critical self. Or if somebody does struggle with disordered eating or has an eating disorder, then you want to discern, okay, that's the eating disorder self that's telling me I look fat or that I'm, I can't eat that because it's going to make me blow up. And it's, how is that serving you? And then when you start to explore how maybe our dialogues that serve us, then you start to understand if they still are serving and if it's unsupportive,
00:22:53
Speaker
or if they're not serving anymore and it's just a visual and how to intervene. So we're creating more of an attunement to connecting to that soul space. And a great way to practice this is actually dialoguing it out through a journaling. So writing out, this is like an unsupportive self.
00:23:15
Speaker
I'll give an example. I got no sleep last night because my kids were waking me up and I'm going to be late today and do terrible on this podcast. That was a thought that I had, right? My soul self is that's really silly. Yes, I'm tired. I'm going to connect with somebody that I love very much and share my soul with so many moments. And you always end with that soul self when you're doing that dialoguing by journaling and out.
00:23:44
Speaker
because you want to end on that high note. And sometimes you need to keep going because that unsupportive self is going to be manipulative. And that's okay. That's part of the ego. That's part of just the human experience and being able to really practice. How can I challenge this unsupportive self and bring in more of a curiosity, compassionate narrative that I can embrace and love
00:24:13
Speaker
me and have gratitude for all the ebbs and flows of life's trials and tribulations. I love that. We talk a lot about that idea of the curiosity and the compassion and in terms of approaching our partners and our children, especially if you have toddlers who are hard to manage at times and hard to approach with that compassion and curiosity when they're really in your face, doing crazy things.
00:24:41
Speaker
But I love that you're bringing it back to meeting yourself with that first. Even that, even meeting that eating disorder or unsupportive self with that curiosity and compassion. I love that piece of it too. I know in recovery, one of my favorite things from Carolyn's teachings, Carolyn Costin was
00:25:00
Speaker
that the ED self and the healthy self or the soul self, they also don't have to be demonized against each other. They're both important parts of us that we can integrate. And so it's approaching that unhealthy part, that angry part, a resentful part, the inner critic with compassion. Okay, what part of me is feeling this and being triggered and how can I melt into her
00:25:27
Speaker
versus be angry and resistant to her. And so I love that dialogue piece because you can answer that critical part with compassion and curiosity rather than feeling hate towards it or critical towards it. It's just because that's just the cycle that we get in. That's not helpful.
00:25:43
Speaker
Absolutely. It's a beautiful duality of like pain and acceptance or pain and gratitude. And how can we like hold both and have an understanding to integrate for that healthier self?
00:25:59
Speaker
and it takes a lot of exploring and I love writing it down because the way that we communicate in our mind can be very quick and then actually writing things down slows the mind down
00:26:14
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and slows our processing. So it's not just this like rapid fire. And then you forget what you were saying to yourself. And then you're in this like hole of doom. And I love doing the dialogues because you're just like, wow, this just sounds ridiculous. This is so harsh. And with a lot of practice, you can come to that and really catch yourself. And this really shows up in our partnerships for sure.
00:26:43
Speaker
And I know what has, what's helpful for me and my partnership is like taking a time out or I like, I'm like, I need to time in with myself. Brianna teaches that like instead of time out, you do time in to connect before you correct. And so I do that with my kids too. And I let them know, mommy needs a time in to connect and I'll be right back. I'm like, okay, mommy needs a time in.
00:27:09
Speaker
She needs a little alone time. So they know because I need to regulate or else I'll blow up because you just were on little sleep. Our hormones are all over the place. We're stressed. We do so much as mothers and it's really important to take that time just to be like, I don't feel okay right now and I need to just regulate and that's okay. And sometimes if your partner isn't there and you're with your kids, it's okay to just sit down and cry.
00:27:39
Speaker
and love on yourself, you're modeling that big emotions are safe to have. We were not taught that in our generation. We can help support creating it differently for our youth.
00:27:56
Speaker
That has been one of the most liberating things for me to realize actually experientially in parenting that I can cry in front of my babies and that's okay. And yeah, to be able to model that being safe and okay to do and then how to tap into yourself and help
00:28:12
Speaker
yourself, regulate and self-soothe. Hey, and good to do. It's good for them to see that. It's so good. I think it's called, I'll have to send you the link. It's generation something. I'm just having a brain fart, but we created a calming corner with these awesome flyers that you can frame and
00:28:36
Speaker
So I'll take my kids there when they're having tantrums and they point out like what feeling they have and then there's like my calming strategies and then there's like options to create your own. So we like to push speed a lot because like getting that energy out and then tapping like a butterfly which is like an EMDR modality.
00:29:01
Speaker
I've been very supportive. And so when I need a time in my son, he's very intuitive. He comes over and he says, mommy, you want to push feet? Mommy's sad. And like that, like we're just teaching our children that it's okay to have big emotions and how to suit and how to be a caretaker to help support soothing as well.
00:29:25
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah, and that so Reedy has he's got some sensory processing stuff. So for him, I've really learned all this proprioceptive input stuff like with the tactile self regulatory techniques for him and it's helped me tap into that more too. But that there's a reason why getting when we talk about energy and Jen, Dr. Jen will talk more about this how it's actual
00:29:54
Speaker
chemicals and neurochemicals, right? It's not just this blue energy we're talking about. It's actual cortisol and adrenaline that's pumping through your body and that physical input, whether it's pushing on your feet or doing the butterfly tapping or squeezing yourself really hard or getting squeezed really hard, holding an ice cube in your hand, that input actually does help bring yourself back into your body and regulate your nervous system. It's so powerful.
00:30:22
Speaker
I love that you do that with them and that they know it's so cool. And I just want to also normalize like occupational therapy because my son also does that and it is so supportive because he has some sensory processing as well. He wears glasses so he doesn't receive all the input and so it's really confusing. Very easy to have big emotions and confusion when you're not getting all the
00:30:50
Speaker
input, learning these skills to best support your child is so important. But there is stigma that I hear all the time of, no, my kid doesn't have that. And it's no like the labels. Don't worry about that. That those are so unimportant. It is just finding out how can I best support my baby and their development period at the end.
00:31:14
Speaker
Yes, period. That doesn't even need to be a label or a diagnosis to it. And to be honest, I think due to the culture and the society that we have all adapted to, I think we all have
00:31:27
Speaker
difficulty processing sensory input because we are flooded constantly with it. And so I think we are all in need of that. And so definitely normalizing that, so helpful. Occupational therapy has, oh my, it has changed our lives with 3D. It's helped you guys too.
00:31:45
Speaker
One other question I have for you. I know your practice has evolved and paralleled your own personal journey like mine too. And I love how you found this beautiful marriage between your two niches of eating disorders and maternal mental health and perinatal health.
Challenges of Postpartum Body Image
00:32:06
Speaker
And I know even if a woman has not had a formal diagnosis of an eating disorder or hasn't had
00:32:15
Speaker
a real history of disordered eating or a significant struggle with body image, although I would argue most women do to some level. How do you see new mamas, whether they've struggled with that stuff in their past or not or currently, how do you see that showing up the most in your practice with a changing body and with just grappling with that in this culture? So interesting. Working primarily with
00:32:40
Speaker
clients who have struggled with disordered eating or eating disorders and also having clients who've never had an eating disorder, but I feel like everyone has some sort of disordered eating experience in their lifetime. What I see a lot when there's not any history that has been harmful with disordered eating is there is this urgency to get back to their
00:33:09
Speaker
pre-baby weight and there's so much attention and energy put into that, which actually takes away from their healing and their connection with baby. That's a hard truth. It takes nine months to grow a baby and they say you shouldn't get pregnant again for 18 months after baby is born.
00:33:39
Speaker
because that's what the research shows. Your body needs to heal fully to be ready to go again.
00:33:46
Speaker
And we live in the society that is so fat. The pace is just implicable to keep them up well. And so there is just what I see across the board with clients who struggled with eating disorders or not, this urgency to get their bodies back, to get back in shape because they're going to feel better attachment to, Oh, I'm not going to feel my best unless I don't look like that. And that looking my best being so based upon
00:34:16
Speaker
what we're subliminally conditioned to believe is what looks the best. So it's unattainable, right? Because I see this all the time in my practice too, is we set these goals for ourselves and say, we're able to get there.
00:34:29
Speaker
Okay, do you feel better now? If you reach the place you wanted to be in your heart and your soul when you got to this, whatever it is, weight, size, however you look physically, and it's always, maybe the surface level answer is yes, but if we really sit with it, it's never enough. It's constantly a priority. No, especially at this time of postpartum. Like your body just went through war. Yeah. Like truly.
00:34:58
Speaker
That's important, I think, for moms to hear. Also to normalize it, that is such a common struggle for moms, is feeling like you have to get your body back. And it's reinforced everywhere. If you're at the gym, like, I know I was going to the gym the minute I could bring Blake to the daycare there for an hour. She was three months old.
00:35:21
Speaker
People were like, they knew I just had a baby and that I was pregnant three or four months ago when they saw me last, they were just, I was getting high fives, I was getting good for you, but I was just there to walk and lay down and cry. There's just so much reinforcement to getting your body back and bouncing back. And it's hard, it's really hard to protect your own healing and your own recovery when we're getting indirectly told to get back to the self you were before, but it's not possible
00:35:50
Speaker
Your body and soul have changed because of your pregnancy and you created a new life. So everything has just expanded. And what a beautiful thing. I love being able to redirect that expansion or reframe it as an amazing thing. An amazing thing.
00:36:13
Speaker
and your heart just continues to grow. You don't think you can love another baby as much as you love maybe your firstborn and then you have another one and your heart just expands. It's like when you meet wonderful relationships, your heart just expands when there's that soul to soul connection. That's what's important. That's what you love. You don't care about what your friends look like. And if you do, let's talk about it. Let's talk about, where does that come from? That's part of like,
00:36:39
Speaker
part of what Jen and I, it took us so long to name our little joint venture. We were so indecisive. But when we landed on Bloom after Baby, we loved it so much because we really do want to reframe that idea of blooming, of expanding, opening, growing, getting bigger, which happens in every phase of motherhood from conception on to being right, to being good, to being
00:37:06
Speaker
healthy to being something to seek out rather than trying to shrink ourselves to fit into a box of what we think we should or are supposed to be or look like. So thank you for your wisdom Amy. So two quick questions. If you could fill in, I didn't expect motherhood to be so.
00:37:28
Speaker
Oh, so exhausting that I could become rageful at times. Like the motherhood rage, that's a thing, just the horror. Isn't that it's been for you? Because that's one big topic Jen and I want to talk about a lot and demystify. Do you remember when you first started experiencing those mom rage episodes and what did that feel like for you?
00:37:49
Speaker
Yeah, I literally had to have a pillow and I would just scream into it like as loud as I could and I would have to say to my husband, you need to be away from me because I don't want to hurt you with my words. I'm like just not in a I'm not in a regulated place. But the more that you can realize that and then not judge it and have the support of okay,
00:38:13
Speaker
whatever you need and then just learn like this is just the hormonal imbalance and lack of sleep and just you're so tapped with being like you're the dependent for the baby to survive especially with nursing mamas who are breastfeeding it's the full-time job the power to all your mom all the nursing mamas out there and the pumping mamas but you know what a fed baby is a fed baby and that's what's most important doesn't matter
00:38:44
Speaker
Yeah, the lack of sleep and the hormonal implode. I think I said, yeah, that's certainly, like I expected that, right? Like I expected, like this was going to be really hard and exhausting, but the amount of dysregulation and being a therapist too and having all the skills was just really
00:39:04
Speaker
Wow, I was quite surprised. But I like to see having healthy outlets is just very essential. And don't be afraid to ask for help. Ask for as much help as you can. We don't have family out here at all. Like my husband and I were from Pittsburgh. So that another that I think contributed to my rage because I couldn't call my mom or dad or call and my husband, his mom passed away. But I couldn't ask like family for support. So you have to then create more of the
00:39:34
Speaker
your village,
Community Support for New Mothers
00:39:35
Speaker
right? It really takes the village. Going to the like mommy and me groups so essential so that you're creating like a community of other moms going through the same journey at the same time as you. Getting nanny referrals for child care. We still have the same nanny that we had with Ariella when she was nine months and she's like a grandmother to our children. We're so grateful and thankful for her. Yeah. Yeah. We need it. We can't do it all alone.
00:40:03
Speaker
And I think that working with a lot of women who are high achieving type A personalities, that's the biggest, one of the biggest struggles I see in postpartum mommas is feeling like it's okay to not only ask for and seek out help, but also to accept it when it's offered to you when you're maybe not asking, you're not using your voice to ask for your needs to be met is accepting that help and knowing that
00:40:29
Speaker
It's okay to not just be doing it all on your own. We need help. We're built. We are neurologically wired to need each other and need that village to survive. So leaning into that. Get on that meal train. Ask for that meal train for as long as possible. It is so helpful.
00:40:48
Speaker
Oh, yeah. And I loved your answer to this one. One resource or two I wish all new moms had or knew about. Oh, the Mummy and Me community is because especially one of my good friend Brianna Capodunkel, who I think you're going to have on one of your podcasts. She just is finishing a book. I think it's called Parenting Yourself First.
00:41:10
Speaker
And I did her mommy and me and having a mommy and me class with other moms with babies who their babies are maybe like two months like you guys are like two months apart with birthdays. And so you're all like you're going through week to week of what's happening developmentally.
00:41:32
Speaker
in the group, like individually, like you're talking about your highs and lows of the week, how you can get support, creating that community to lean on is essential. And then you have friends for life and your kids have friends for life. Yeah. I certainly found that in my, in mommy and me, it saved my mental health. It saved so much for me doing that. That is something that I always recommend my mom as who are pregnant or
00:42:01
Speaker
just had a baby get in to a mommy and me. It is so important for your mental health and just educating yourself about baby's development and understanding that what you're experiencing at home with the sleep regressions with different, what is it like the tongue ties or breastfeed, like you're going to get into ones of education and support.
00:42:23
Speaker
And it's just okay. You feel so supported in those communities as a new momma. Yes, yes. Even if you have friends who are moms or who have been moms, I think there's something really special and invaluable about having that group support.
00:42:41
Speaker
from other moms who are in like you said in that exact same phase that you're in because for especially those first few months they're so disorienting and for like us like you and I are outside of that phase now not that far out but for even me Blake is nine months old and I feel like I don't really remember those first few months but when I was in it I was in it and I needed that support from other moms who were in that same space but
00:43:08
Speaker
Yeah, I'm glad you
Upcoming Support Groups and Self-Love Retreats
00:43:09
Speaker
spoke to that. And Dr. Jen is going to be starting some virtual postpartum support groups, because I know not every community has in person ones, which I think they're becoming more common, especially as we get more out of the pandemic. I'm so happy about that in future
00:43:25
Speaker
episodes. Dr. Jenny is going to do a whole episode talk about the importance of these groups and hopefully get some moms connected to each other that don't have in-person either the ability to go to an in-person or
00:43:38
Speaker
don't have them in their community. So Amy, just tell where you are, how people can find you. I know you're full, your practice is full, but how can people find you on Instagram? And are you going to be doing any retreats anytime soon? 2025, baby.
00:43:58
Speaker
My private practice is in the beautiful beach city of El Segundo. We're right next to Manhattan Beach and Playa Vista. And yeah, I specialize in eating disorders and maternal mental health and anxiety disorders as well.
00:44:15
Speaker
I also used to be a dolphin trainer and did dolphin assisted therapy with dolphins and carousel. And I loved the connection with ocean and in healing. And I have a small LLC called Your Beautiful Beginning, which offers wild dolphin wellness retreats. And they were offered in Hawaii and Horda Viarda.
00:44:40
Speaker
The next one is going to be in Vimini Bahamas in 2025. This is going to be just for women. It's going to be self-love, self-care. It's a seven day retreat. I'll have more info in the upcoming months, but I'm really excited for this one. And I'm also, so Rachel handed me the torch from South Bay Eating Disorder Coalition. So I'm the president with our nonprofit.
00:45:09
Speaker
Coalition here in the South Bay and we I'm really excited to share this with you. We're gonna be speaking at Hermosa Valley Middle School next month and we're gonna we're gonna be a panel and we're gonna have some clients who are in high school share their story of recovery and oh my gosh, so community outreach connecting our families with resources to educate about eating disorder prevention
00:45:40
Speaker
and really start practicing, really shifting the language and the narrative around body image, food, weight, and how you can really offer more compassion and a healthy sense of self and acceptance.
00:45:56
Speaker
So I'm really excited for that. So I'm hoping we can do that for all of the schools here in the South Bay. That's going to be next month. It is not easy to get into public school through all that tape. So I'm so proud of you. Yay. Oh my gosh.
00:46:12
Speaker
Yeah, I can't wait to share about that too. If anyone is listening and they want to reach out, please feel free to email me AmyQuinn.com or you can visit my website. It's just AmyQuinn.com and I am full right now, but you can feel free to reach out and if I can't take you in a few months, then I will
00:46:36
Speaker
hook you up with somebody amazing. Awesome. Yeah. And I'll link Amy's email and website. And if they're interested in your retreats, they, I'm assuming they can just email you there or contact you via your website too. And then I'll also link the South Bay Eating Disorder Coalition website as well in case
00:46:54
Speaker
if there's any other mental health or medical professionals listening that want to know more about what that amazing team is doing up there with the nonprofit and that advocacy work. So I will link all of this in the notes. And Amy, I'm just so grateful for you and your energy and your soul and your heart. And it was so good to connect with you and to get to share you with our listeners. So thank you so much. You're so welcome. Love you so much.
00:47:24
Speaker
Thanks so much for tuning in with us today. If you enjoyed this episode and feel like it brought you value, don't forget to rate the show and leave a review. Your feedback means the world to us and helps us know which conversations you are needing the most. And we'll keep bringing you new episodes every week so hit subscribe so you don't miss a thing. Also, be sure to check out the show notes for any links or resources that we mentioned.
00:47:47
Speaker
We're on this journey with you, so be sure to find us on the Gram and TikTok, plus go to bloomafterbaby.com and grab our free guides on all things motherhood created just for you. Breathe, be well, and keep growing, Mama.