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Can We Regain Hearth Magic & Ancient Hospitality | Mythic Mirror Episode 19
16 Plays5 days ago
What does the ancient law of hospitality and hearth spirits have to do with modern life? How can we regain what was lost? And did you know you can blame it all on Mad King George? Stay tuned for Carolina's hot mic moment in the Discworld Delight!
Apologies for the Duckling noises...they'll be old enough to go outside soon!
Click here for Mary's Free Story and Visitor's guide to the world of her upcoming fantasy!
Don't miss out on the upcoming Book Launch of Breaking Inlands an epic fantasy about a resilient young woman & forbidden water in a tale born of lost gods & history that shouldn't have been forgotten.
Our next episode will be on Terry Pratchett's book Thud! Don't have a copy? You can get it at our Bookshop.org page!
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Transcript
Introduction to Hearth Magic
00:00:00
Speaker
What is the magic of the hearth and what does it mean for society that we've lost it?
00:00:15
Speaker
Welcome to Mythic Mirror, a podcast for fans of myth and fantasy who want to live a magical, fulfilling life. I'm your host, Mary C. Kehoe. And I'm your co-host, Carolina Carter. And today we are talking about hearth magic, what it is, why it's important, where
Historical Hospitality Customs
00:00:32
Speaker
it's gone. I did a little bit of a deep dive into hospitality customs, specifically Norse, Irish, um Greek, and Japanese.
00:00:45
Speaker
um Just very interesting that it used to be, you know, i call it a custom, but it was treated more as a law, that if you were not hospitable to guests in your home, that you were pretty much punished for it or you lost status within your community.
00:01:04
Speaker
um and ah you know And it's interesting to look, because initially when I was looking at the Nordic ones, I was thinking, well, to turn someone out, to turn someone away from your home,
00:01:15
Speaker
is pretty much a death sentence if you're living in a colder climate. But it doesn't really matter because, you know, in Greece, it's obviously a much more tepid climate and they had still strict hospitality laws, um a lot of them tying to religion.
00:01:32
Speaker
Norse mythology, they would often wonder if it was Odin in disguise. Zeus was sometimes seen as the god of hospitality and would punish those who didn't treat their guests correctly.
00:01:44
Speaker
um in Japan, i'm gonna i hope I say this right, but they have these emotenashi, which is where you try to anticipate your guests' needs.
00:01:57
Speaker
um And it's, you know, like a, and I don't want to say like status symbol, but sort of is like an end.
Modern Shift in Hospitality Meaning
00:02:03
Speaker
um I think I got lost in the sauce there, but basically that it used to be a very solid pillar of the human condition, this this hospitality rule kind of that like should a guest come to your home you must feed them, you must give them shelter, you must clothe them and also in return the guest must not abuse that in any way. Can't overstay your welcome.
00:02:30
Speaker
um So looking at that in regards to the modern world and how much has changed and what we've really lost because um I mean, if you if you even just look up the word hospitality, what comes up is everything in the hospitality industry.
00:02:46
Speaker
it's It's lost its meaning, almost in the sense of community. Yeah, and I think not only have we lost the sense of personal hospitality, but we've lost the sense of home. I think you can't have, or at least the the law of hospitality doesn't mean as much if you if the essence of home isn't there.
00:03:11
Speaker
I think along with the decline of this custom of hospitality is the decline of the belief of you know the home your home is your castle. your' you It's ownership. it's this You're the um the steward.
00:03:27
Speaker
But yeah the the yeah, the decline of if you don't honor your home as something worth opening up and giving, then, you know, if it's just the place that you happen to live at this time, it it kind of takes the roots and depth out of the law of hospitality.
Hearth Spirits and Sacred Spaces
00:03:51
Speaker
Hmm.
00:03:53
Speaker
Interesting. And I love that you looked up. I love that you deep dived into the that aspect because I went with hearth and the hearth spirits aspect. And it's the same thing where across the world, you have these beings, these spirits of the hearth and how a lot of the times they're honored in the same way of you're taking some of your food that you, you make for the family and you feed some into the fire There's the Domevoi in Russia, the Penates in Rome, which are also kind of the gods of the family, the Demispatis in Lithuania, and then you've also got the Bubach in Wales, which that one can become mischievous if you don't feed it and honor it. And I think that's another thing we can take into the modern understanding of the hearth is this aspect, this idea of feeding the hearth spirit is...
00:04:48
Speaker
it symbolizes kind of how humans put essence into things. You know, you're imbuing the sacred into the matter. And without, without that human giving life into the home, there is no spirit. There is no being in your hearth and you don't actually need that.
00:05:15
Speaker
You know, a lot of houses now don't have fireplaces. We don't cook on a fire anymore. So you don't have that central point of heat and food and in community in the home anymore. But you can create a similar feeling in...
00:05:33
Speaker
you know, whether it's a room or a corner of a room or something, picking a spot that is the heart of your home and you treat it as such. And I think the more love you give to your home,
00:05:46
Speaker
and you know, feed the home spirit in whatever way you want. You know, there's plenty of different modern takes on these folklore traditions, but I don't really think me doing an internet search and telling you about it is helpful. I think it's, that's something each person can create and have meaningful for themselves.
00:06:06
Speaker
But yeah, I think it does matter. and it and And the more you love the home, the more you can open that up as the as the hospitality to those around you.
00:06:17
Speaker
I feel like the modern day equivalent of the domovoi, is that what you said was the Russian? It's the Roomba. I feel like that's the little being that people humanize and care for. That's like it's like like closest we've come to our little house spirit that we care for.
00:06:35
Speaker
So now take that feeling for the Roomba and give that feeling to the house. You know, give your a little, your house a name. And, ah and, oh, I have this quick great quote that I found after we picked this topic, but I thought it so perfectly encapsulates that.
00:07:00
Speaker
what we
Identity and the Home Spirit
00:07:01
Speaker
are missing out on. And one of the reasons we love fantasy, i think I think cozy fantasy obviously really captures this, but I think a lot of other fantasy has this feeling and that that they you know in these stories, you still have that ancient law of hospitality and there's something in us that yearns for that, that yearns for this feeling of home and hearth.
00:07:25
Speaker
whether our own or being welcomed into someone else's. So this is a quote from a French philologist and medievalist, Claude Lacuteau.
00:07:37
Speaker
And he says, We have been transformed into rootless wanderers with no fire or place to call our own. The individual no longer has any attachment to a house that has been passed down for generations. In losing all of this, we have lost a piece of ourselves, one of our most solid anchors, and like dead leaves carried by the wind, we settle one day here and the next day there, driven by the whims of our professions, but we no longer bring the embers from our hearths with us, and the surviving spirits weep in abandoned houses. What do you think of that?
00:08:12
Speaker
What do you think some of that might be due to a loss of craftsmanship? I mean, you've got sort of like these little boxes on the hillside, little boxes made of ticky tacky, or is that a weak excuse?
00:08:26
Speaker
You know, if you're living like in an HOA that only has certain architectural builds approved and your house looks like the neighbor's house, looks like the neighbor's house, looks like the neighbor's house, and your floors sag because they were built poorly and they're all painted beige.
00:08:43
Speaker
But that's not the house's fault. Right. I don't think that helps. And I don't think the rent culture helps either when you don't actually feel like you own the place that you're in. And, you know, your landlord can say at any time, all right, that's it. Or raise the rent. and You got to leave.
00:09:00
Speaker
But I think even with those conditions, even when people in ancient times had to travel had to move had to leave everything that idea of taking the embers with you obviously we don't take physical embers with us but energetically you know emotionally we can um and find something it's not like it has to you you know it's it's this doesn't depend on money. You know, it's not about buying something that makes you feel like home.
00:09:36
Speaker
It's you, the, the feeling of home comes from people, you know, you're the, the people who fed the Dome of Voy are the ones who strengthened it. It wasn't, it didn't have to do with the fireplace that it was in.
00:09:50
Speaker
m point And so, yeah, so I think it's a lot easier to create this feeling when you're in a, you know, a beautiful home that feels like a good representation of you.
00:10:04
Speaker
But I think we can create that within whatever structure we are in at the time.
Challenges of Modern Hospitality
00:10:10
Speaker
and and I just love that idea of carrying the embers with you. You know, you can create a home wherever you are.
00:10:16
Speaker
It's like the, the, ancient people who would carry their altars with them. you know, they would set up their tents or or, you know, if they were in colder climates, build huts or whatever, but they they brought with them that hearth, that, you know, the altar or whatever their distinct culture had.
00:10:37
Speaker
And taking that further into sharing your hearth and home with people, the hospitality aspect, do you feel like that same sort of art has been lost because of that loss of That spark, that loss of ownership, or is it something else?
00:10:53
Speaker
I think that's definitely part of it. And I think, to me, the root of hospitality is love. And I had a realization today, because I was thinking about this, and it's a lot easier to love the people you're not going to meet. You know, it's a lot easier for me to imagine loving strangers out there in the world,
00:11:14
Speaker
they're not I don't have to know their idiosyncrasies and you know loving the faceless crowd. But then if you think about welcoming in that annoying neighbor or the person at work that drives you nuts or you know the guy at the store that you always see.
00:11:32
Speaker
who for some reason you can't stand, you know, just random people in your own community. If you imagine welcoming them in, how do you do that? Because those are the people you'd be welcoming in. Yeah. You know, I thought about this, um,
00:11:47
Speaker
This is not an original thought, but this has been something that's been on my mind a couple years back. You know, when you're in your early 20s, everybody's always driving each other to the airport. And at some point, um one of my friends was like, ah we're adults now. We can park and pay for parking. We don't need to be getting rides to the airport. That's embarrassing. And I was like...
00:12:10
Speaker
No, I think that's, I think you, like, I feel like hospitality has been commodified to the extent that we no longer have that sense of community where it's like, well, I shouldn't ask for help because I can just pay for it.
00:12:26
Speaker
I shouldn't, you know, I shouldn't reach out because I can just buy it. And I fully disagree. And i I think there's, you know, I love driving people to the airport and seeing them off on their adventure or picking them up when they come home. And it's not easy. It's not like, you know, it's always going to be an inconvenience. But and this is not an original thought. i I apologize. I don't remember the first person I heard it from. It's probably on TikTok.
00:12:53
Speaker
um But they said that the price of community is inconvenience. And so it's it's never going to feel, i feel like, and don't know, the popularization of therapy speak where people are very into drawing boundaries. And I'm very into drawing boundaries, please don't get me wrong. um But I think you can draw them so well that you fence yourself in and isolate yourself.
00:13:19
Speaker
And that theyre I think a little inconvenience is good for us. Yeah, that is a perfect lead into the revelation I had, because I was thinking about that with boundaries and love. I just got this thought of, you know, be patient with the children.
00:13:37
Speaker
Why can't I be patient with the adult? And is it's because I expect more from them. But if I just love them and be patient with them, as I do with a child, that gives us that grace to be hospi hospitable, to be welcoming, to be loving.
00:13:57
Speaker
And then the question is, but then how do you stop yourself from just like feeling superior? Like, well, I'm going to treat you all as children because that's what you are. um And the next thought that came to me was It's the human, it's the personal identity, the human self are, you know, what we've created in this life is the child compared to the soul, you know, we compared to the immortal self.
00:14:24
Speaker
And, you know, if you believe in the idea that a part of you was alive before this life and goes on, then this human identity is a child to that self. So in that sense, we are all children.
00:14:41
Speaker
So then if i I can love someone and be patient with them with the understanding that I'm being patient with the human identity while still honoring the light, you know, it's still still honoring the immortal self,
00:14:56
Speaker
that's also there that can shine through, you know, which which is the way I i think of children. Cause a lot of times with especially toddlers, you have this force of nature, a very powerful being coming through a very small human who is trying to figure out this human self and and how it works and why they can't do everything that they want to do. And how do you,
00:15:21
Speaker
communicate with other humans. You know, they're very demanding. They're very this, they're very that. And and you teach them empathy, you teach them boundaries. So in that sense, you can love them and be patient without getting rid of healthy boundaries.
00:15:35
Speaker
You're, you know, you still have healthy boundaries with a toddler because you're teaching them how to be a good human. So it's the same thing with your neighbors. You can, you can love them, welcome
Consequences of Breaking Hospitality Laws
00:15:46
Speaker
them and have boundaries
00:15:51
Speaker
Discworld delight is the delight I might try for myself. Cause it's a disc, and it's a world, and it's a disc world. Oh, you're back. Hello. Well, that sounded lovely. Do we have any guesses for last week? Mary, we have a very good guess for last week.
00:16:11
Speaker
Wintersmith. That is the correct guess. That's such a good guess. For this week, the ducks would be quiet for a moment. Have they no respect? They don't have any respect.
00:16:23
Speaker
That's a well-known fact about. Do you think there's such a thing as a criminal mind? Carrot almost audibly tried to work this out. What? You mean like Mr. Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, sir?
00:16:37
Speaker
He's not a criminal. you have you You have eaten one of his pies, sir? I mean, yes, but he's just geographically divergent in the financial hemisphere.
00:16:49
Speaker
Sir? I mean, he just disagrees with other people about the position of things, like money. He thinks it should all be in his pocket. No, I meant... Vimes closed his eyes and thought about cigar spoke smoke and flowing drink and laconic voices.
00:17:04
Speaker
There were people who'd steal money for there were people who would steal money from people. Fair enough. That was just theft. But there were people who, with one easy word, would steal the humanity from people.
00:17:16
Speaker
That was something else.
00:17:21
Speaker
Clearly, Vimes and Carrie are in this book. Spoiler. But what is it? What is it?
00:17:32
Speaker
I love what you said about not fencing yourself in, of of that commodifying of hospitality to the point where it feels like you're being used or using someone to, to help them in any way, which is a huge erosion of community.
00:17:55
Speaker
And I love the, I was just watching a video of a woman in Russia showing her village life. And she was saying how this woman who has the best garden in the village, and this is a village that still has, you know, wells that you crank up for water. And it's probably much better water than 98% the world. But,
00:18:16
Speaker
um She was saying how this older woman can't go out and forage anymore, but she loves it. She loves the berries and the, you know, the fruit trees and gathering, gathering all of the, all of the fruit and mushrooms and nuts and everything, but she can't do it anymore.
00:18:35
Speaker
So they go out and they, when they go out foraging, they bring it to her and they said, we can still, we have the physical ability to go foraging in the woods, but we don't have a lot of time. So they bring all of their foraged goods to her and she does all the preservation of it. She cut, you know, processes all the plums and and berries and apples and everything.
00:19:00
Speaker
And then they share with her the, you know, they take some and she takes some. So, there's that, the the the give and take of community that doesn't have to be ah commodified.
00:19:15
Speaker
Like a knock at the door now is met with suspicion. Mm hmm. It's sort of representative, I think, of how we greet the unknown. And maybe it's just because we have so much information at our fingertips with the Internet, with phones, that a stranger knocking at the door would be a more welcome like interlude into your day.
00:19:36
Speaker
hmm. in a slower time. But now it's like if somebody didn't didn't text that they're coming over. I'm the worst at this. If I hear a knock at the door, I go over to the window and peek out.
00:19:49
Speaker
So they can't see me, but I can see who it is. And then I usually don't answer the door. And I also greet the unknown with the same suspicion and fear. I'm scared of the dark. I'm scared of deep water that I can't see the bottom of.
00:20:03
Speaker
I don't like The unknown. so it used to be if you if you hear a knock on the door, it is either someone within your community who, you know, but the majority of the time, it's going to be someone you know, and there was more of a pattern of coming to each other's door.
00:20:20
Speaker
Mm hmm. And, or it would be a stranger, but there is that law and that tradition. So even if this person, you don't need to know who this person is because they're going to be following the rules set out. They will respect the law as much as you will. You will open your home or at least your barn, right depending on the culture. But they will also not steal or harm you. Right.
00:20:52
Speaker
For that same reason. And it wasn't like a traveler a day. I think travel was more of a novelty. It wasn't Nicole Trustfunder, you know, going through the wilderness for her gap year.
00:21:06
Speaker
Not that there's anything wrong with any of that, but, you know, you just like, I think there's maybe some more built-in prejudice now because we know too much about people.
00:21:17
Speaker
Whereas before, if you were just ah a traveler, it was a novelty. You didn't know them. You didn't know if they were a good person. You just knew that you had rules and they had rules. And this is just the way the world worked. And travel took a lot longer.
00:21:29
Speaker
you there was You stayed along the road. And there weren't you know there were inns with taverns and such, but you could also work your way through. you know if if you know this this trip is going to take three months to get from point A to point B, and you don't have the money to stay at an inn for three months, there's the understanding of you work as you go. Oh, I've come to this farm. I'll help with the seeding. I'll help with the harvest, whatever it is as you move through. and you know they just weren't as like there were
00:22:05
Speaker
But you would have to be in some sort of township if and there was a great distance between them. You know, they come to the door. is there an inn nearby? There ain't no inn for 30 miles.
00:22:17
Speaker
May I sleep in your barn tonight? You know? That was really good. Thank you. i want I want to read the rest of that book.
00:22:27
Speaker
Now, there are times in history and fiction where the sacred law of hospitality was not kept
00:22:36
Speaker
I think most popular one obviously being the Red Wedding in Game of Thrones, Throne of Games. That obviously if you break the rules of hospitality, murder and mayhem.
00:22:52
Speaker
Yeah, it can go really bad really fast. And may death come for you. And a huge example of that out of history would have been the murder of Glen Coe, which happened in 1692, which was soldiers staying with Clan McDonald. And they had been staying there for like two weeks at this point, turned on the family and killed everyone.
00:23:16
Speaker
Which is why we have the Fifth or Seventh Amendment.
00:23:22
Speaker
a The one where soldiers can't stay in your home. Because people, you know, the Revolutionary War, hospitality was still a thing. It'd have to house them. And not only that, well, hospitality was still a thing, but also the king ordered it so that you could station soldiers in private homes. That was one of the intolerable acts. You'll be thick. We rebelled against. susan said No, thank you.
00:23:49
Speaker
So we don't have hospitality in America because ah of the King George. Right. man He ruined hospitality in America.
00:24:00
Speaker
Ruined everything. If it wasn't for him.
Reviving Hearth Magic and Community Spirit
00:24:05
Speaker
We'd be more hospitable, more hearth-centered. More hearth-centered.
00:24:13
Speaker
We'll leave it on Mad King George. That's a bold stance, but I'm going to stand by it. Got to have bold opinions in this world. So that means we haven't finished rebelling against him. Once we have the hearth magic back in the home where it belongs, we'll finally rid ourselves of the chains of the British monarchy.
00:24:32
Speaker
I knew it. And with that, what was your spark of the week? Did you put a little spark in your hot fire this week? I don't know why I'm doing voices today. I need to stop. if That might be my spark.
00:24:47
Speaker
So my spark of the week happened today. i actually went into the office to work today, which is very rare. And it was for a filming project. So i was set dressing the area.
00:25:00
Speaker
And it was just really nice because the it was just me and the cameraman setting it up. And was just fun. And remembering that it's, you know, fun to work people with people live once in a while.
00:25:16
Speaker
working most of the time by myself and just seeing people through meetings and emails, I kind of forget how much I i do like my coworkers. I do like people.
00:25:28
Speaker
i do like people. Speaking of hospitality, what was your spark of the week this week? I what i had a doctor's appointment and I did not want to go.
00:25:39
Speaker
And I was being a real baby about it. which we don't have to get into, but I had ah my husband and a very dear friend both go with me to the appointment and into the room, and it was hilarious. The nurse was like, are these guys with you? And i was like, yup.
00:25:59
Speaker
And the doctor was like, okay, who's this? And was like, this my husband, and this is my friend. And they were all very nice about it, but it did make me feel a strong sense of community. It made me feel very loved.
00:26:13
Speaker
And I got through it. And I'm going to live. wo That's good. to do I think the key to having your hearth open is to have your heart open and that we can rebuild these little fires. Yeah. And carry the embers with us.
00:26:30
Speaker
And speaking of loving people, we are so grateful to be spiraling through the universe with all of you. It's not always easy, but no good story ever is.