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Licking the Spoon of Tradition - On The Ground Parenting Podcast Episode 20
32 Plays1 month ago
Welcome back to On the Ground Parenting for Episode 20! Cookie recipes from the show are here on Google Docs to share and make!
Hosts Sandy, Sam, and Kelly continue their holiday discussion, focusing this week on the cherished traditions of holiday baking, cooking, and sharing recipes. They explore how these food-centric activities serve as a powerful way to build connection and meaning during the season.
The conversation highlights the value of gifting through food—items enjoyed in the moment that won't clutter the house or end up in a landfill. The hosts share personal and often humorous stories about their favorite recipes and the memories they evoke:
Parallel Play Baking: Sam shares her unique current family tradition. In their kitchen, everyone makes their own recipe simultaneously, working without interfering with one another. Her son, Ryan, has perfected his chocolate chip cookies but happily passes off the "boring part" (scooping and baking) to Sam.
The Cinnamon Bun Rhythm: Kelly's tradition involves making time-intensive yeasted cinnamon buns on Christmas morning, a ritual that provides rhythm and grounding during the holiday rush.
Renowned Cookies: Sandy fondly remembers two family classics: her grandmother’s famous thin and crisp oatmeal cookies and her mother’s delightful, melt-in-your-mouth whipped shortbread.
The hosts also touch on the fun of cookie swaps and the shared experience of baking—celebrating successes and laughing over failures, such as runny cheesecakes and collapsing gingerbread houses.
A Call for Support:
This episode also serves as a special platform for the Muskoka Family Focus Parent Ed team to request support, either with a one-time donation or by signing up for our Patreon, https://patreon.com/OnTheGroundParenting. We need your financial support to ensure we can continue offering free educational programming and keep the podcast running. Donations over $20 are tax-deductible.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'On the Ground Parenting'
00:00:00
Speaker
Today's episode of On the Ground Parenting is made possible by the generous donations of our listeners. To learn more, look in the show notes or listen to the end of the episode.
00:00:35
Speaker
Welcome back to On the Ground Parenting. It's a podcast brought to you from that little blue house logo, Muskoka Family Focus. We're the Parent Head team, some members of the Parent Head team. My name is Sandy and I'm joined by my colleagues, Sam and Kelly.
00:00:52
Speaker
Woohoo! Great to be with all of you. Welcome back. And we just seem to be moving right on through this year. Do you believe that we are December 2025?
00:01:04
Speaker
What's happening at your place? Do you have snow? Grass? Is it warm? Is it cool?
Mixed Feelings About the Holiday Season
00:01:09
Speaker
Let's talk about the holidays. When I say holiday, I'm curious. Does that make your gut clench?
00:01:16
Speaker
Does it make you to have a smile on your face? Does it make your heart go pitter-patter, pitter-patter with worry? What am I going to do? What happens in your world? Can we say all of the above? was thinking of the exact same thing. Yeah, I am really thinking, wow, all of those things, those things are all what I'm thinking. Yeah.
00:01:38
Speaker
Tell us a bit more. Okay. So definitely I love holiday seasons because I really enjoy spending time with not just my immediate family, but my extended family as well. So I love hanging out with my mom and my stepdad, my sister and her kiddos, my brother-in-law. My cousin happened to marry my best friend, which is amazing. So like we all do a lot of things together and I love that time. But then i also have the pitter patter of worry because I don't know what that unstructured time might do to people in my house who require a routine. you know Seasonally, there's not a lot of sunlight right now. So it's a tricky time of year in terms of people not getting enough vitamin D and having a bit of a hard time coping with emotions when it's so dark all the time. So there's just a lot of things at play when it comes up to the holiday season for me and for my family, for
Coping with Holiday Stress
00:02:31
Speaker
sure.
00:02:31
Speaker
I'm curious about whether or not this has lessened for you as your children have become older or if it has increased. I love that question because I am so delighted to be able to say that it has lessened for me as my children have become older, partially because their coping skills have grown, partially because my coping skills have grown. And we've grown as a unit, so we know each other's cues a little better. We know how to better support one another. I'm very aware of demands that I can and cannot place on people in terms of what they're able to handle doing at this time of year. So large family gatherings, we don't attend typically, or I will attend. i don't have to... worry about, do I have a babysitter anymore? Because my children are old enough to be obviously home by themselves if they don't want to come. So there's a lot more choice for them. and and i think in the past, they might have worried about whether it made me unhappy if I couldn't go to things if they couldn't manage. So not that I want them to feel like they're responsible for my feelings, but that part is completely removed now too. Because i would be disappointed if I didn't get to do things and see my family. Family has always been a huge part of my life right from the time I was born. It's always been really important. So anyways, that piece has lessened as well. So definitely improvement over time. That being said, sometimes meltdowns as your kiddos get bigger, the meltdowns can be bigger too. Yeah, so we just kind of, we work together as a team as much as possible to mitigate those things and get as much enjoyment out of the season as we can. i feel like I rambled on there a lot, but... No, no, we were curious because I think that's an important opportunity for people to understand people who may have young children, who may be neurodiverse and who may be making it difficult for the family to be together. with other families or to achieve certain things. So I think even just hearing the uniqueness, not saying that what your, your children, their growth, their experiences, what you're experiencing will be the same for other people.
Family Traditions and Holiday Joys
00:04:38
Speaker
But I think it's also an opportunity to reflect that as children grow more mature and are more able to articulate and you're able to as well separate how you are less needing to be present, perhaps. It's helpful, Sam. Thank you.
00:04:54
Speaker
Oh, my pleasure. You know, I'm never shy to chat about life in the neurodiverse universe. And Kelly, where was your gut when I asked about the holidays?
00:05:06
Speaker
I think exactly where Sam's was. All of the above. I'm trying to think of the pieces that I look forward to. i love, yes, it's dark. Yes, it's sometimes a hard time a year. But over the holidays, there's a typical rhythm of a break. Lots of people have some time off work. It's a good excuse to put up more candles and more lights.
00:05:27
Speaker
And it's sort of it feels cozier. I love the colors and the sparkles of the season. And we hang up a whole collection. might've already said this of round balls. And there's this lovely book about joy and circles make people happy. And it's surprising how many people comment on them. So I love that piece of just living in it. And I'm this holiday season trying to maximize that time I have off and with my family.
00:05:55
Speaker
And i think about like some of the tensions where everybody wants a piece of you and trying to like meet all those commitments and go to those places and,
00:06:07
Speaker
and look after yourselves and look after your family. And when your kids when my kids were little, we realized that they often got overstimulated and had spectacular meltdowns. So we learned to take many breaks. Maybe that was the time they actually got to watch some TV, which we typically wouldn't have done in the middle of the afternoon. but So it's just bringing back that whole swirl of excitement and dread and just organization around you know holidays and celebration.
00:06:35
Speaker
And I think as my kids get older, it's super fun to see what they choose to contribute to the holidays, whether it's baking, whether it's a gift they make. And just seeing the world from their perspective always brings me a little bit of joy or insight into what makes them tick.
00:06:51
Speaker
Mm-hmm. For me, I feel the same way that, so certainly I have a smile on my face when I'm thinking about being together with my children and their families. And, but then, you know, something could make our plans go awry or, you know, something else. The weather, remember that year we had all that snow you I think it was Christmas Day, Boxing Day. All I did was snow removal and saw tree limbs and snow removal and saw tree limbs. And so we didn't have our Christmas gathering which on Christmas. That really wasn't ah an issue. But it was, I think, the amount of work for just basic survival for me that was really a struggle.
00:07:35
Speaker
But I think about, for me, I get to witness my adult children with their families creating their traditions, carrying on some traditions from ah what they were raised in. And I just, I really love being together with everyone and my grandkids and my kids. And I'm just imagining, you know, the warmth of the house because the oven's been on cooking and the smell of the food and everything. you know, and the oven that maybe didn't work that one year that the turkey wasn't cooking the same time as everything else. So that was a surprise. And, and just the things that happened and, you know, maybe the potatoes boiled dry and we noticed when we could smell and smell the burnt potatoes and, So there's so many things that surprise that come up and, you know, maybe toss a wrench into the plans. And I think that it's being able to see how we all problem solve, you know, and we talked about this before about humor coming in. And that's been helpful for me.
00:08:36
Speaker
I'm curious about aspects of of your gatherings or what's significant for you during the holiday time. So we've already talked before about trees or decorating, but Are there any traditions that you have that are around coming together to do something before the holidays? So does anyone do a gingerbread house building together or baking together?
00:09:01
Speaker
What are some other things around the holidays that might give you a sense of family, community connection?
Evolving Family Traditions
00:09:08
Speaker
When I was growing up, my grandparents, my mom's parents had a farm and they had horses. So sometime before Christmas, because my mom was from a large family and everybody couldn't get together on Christmas, we would have a family sleigh ride.
00:09:22
Speaker
So over the years, that tradition has stayed. We don't do the sleigh ride anymore. The horses are long gone and The farm is owned by somebody else now, but we still get together. So it's morphed over the years. And now my aunts and uncles and my mom and my stepdad, they're all, you know, they're all in their 60s, 70s, and they love to play cards. So now our family gathering that used to start just before dinner time starts at 1pm. So if you'd like to play cards, you come at one. And then we have a delightfully large potluck dinner with the extended family and people can come and bring what they want. And it's just so much fun. But that is definitely one of the things that my children do not attend because there's just too many people there. So it's such a wonderful tradition and they're aware of it and they know they can go if they choose to. Usually they just say, tell everyone we say Merry Christmas and we'll see when you get home. which is perfect. It works for them. It works for me. um And it's just so much fun. We used to also sing Christmas carols. We don't do that so much anymore at that gathering, but maybe I'll print out some Christmas carols and put that bug in people's ear this year again.
00:10:31
Speaker
How about you, Kelly? I've been thinking, I don't know if there's something in the closer years that we've done regularly every year In different years, we've made things. So sometimes um we'll all be working on whatever our craft projects are for Christmas and being pressure prompted, which might be our other family motto. Sometimes those craft projects extend right up to Christmas Eve. Or one year i knitted a two-inch square and put it in a box with a little tag that said, imagine this as an entire sweater. And one day it will be. And wrapped up that box. It's
00:11:11
Speaker
But we also try to play music together. That's lately as my kids get older and we're not very good. People are always so impressed when we say this, but we are very early amateurs, but we have a lot of fun doing it and everybody's trying to play something. And I love our tradition is Christmas and I love those songs are in my head. So it's a lot easier to play something that you really know than it is to place other things and It's just a source for us to hang out and laugh and play. And it's good. For me with my family, because they're adults, you know, with their own children now, I find that I'm doing some of the things that I did with my kids, with my grandkids, or maybe I didn't do with my kids because I had...
00:11:58
Speaker
all of the other responsibilities, you know, like I had to worry about getting their laundry done so they had clean clothes to wear. Whereas with my grandkids, because they go home and I have my own laundry to take care of, I seem to have more time to have fun and do these things.
Grandparent's Perspective on Holiday Activities
00:12:15
Speaker
And um so, yeah, so they there might be things like ah gingerbread house making. And personally, I believe it's overrated. I have yet to find an icing that will... just hold those suckers together. And um the kids, basically, I just think buy a little package of candy, let them eat a bit of icing and some candy and throw the gingerbread out for the birds. Maybe, I don't know, but gingerbread men cookies are a different type of cookie for me than, than the gingerbread houses. But so, you know, we'll do that and the cookie baking thing. um,
00:12:52
Speaker
So you might have heard or you may be involved in cookie exchanges or cookie swap. And and when my children were young, they attended, it was called a co-op nursery school, because unless the parents cooperated, then it wouldn't work. And ah we didn't have any licensed teacher, but we had a system that made it really a stimulating environment and supportive environment for children. And one year we decided that maybe while the parents were waiting for their children, that they could bring in six dozen of one recipe of cookies. And that way we could all have a variety of Christmas cookies over the holiday season. And then someone photocopied all the recipes. So I have collections, photocopies,
00:13:38
Speaker
of recipes from the 80s, and some of them are still favorites. So I'm just wondering, is that anything that you've ever participated in, a cookie swap, or do you do any cookie baking with anybody in your family or any special cakes or treats? We used to do Christmas cake. I would have to go and help my grandmother because she got to the point where she could no longer stir the Christmas cake and it somehow became my task to go do that. And as much as I may have complained about it, it was always fun to spend that time with her because I have a million bajillion cousins. So to get some one-on-one or almost one-on-one time with grandma was almost unheard of. Usually there was scads of us littered around. So ah it was a really nice time. I personally do not enjoy Christmas cake.
00:14:27
Speaker
but But my mom and my stepdad still make it so which I think is great. um And we used to have cookie baking times. So now in my house, I know I've talked before about parallel play.
00:14:40
Speaker
Everybody has their own recipe that they like to make. And we do not interfere with one another when that is happening. Ryan loves, he has like hasn't made them for a long time, but he perfected the chocolate chip cookie because he loves chocolate chip cookies. So it was the best day ever when he just had to run things by me as he was doing them. Like he could do it all himself. Yeah.
00:15:03
Speaker
But then when it's time to actually bake them, he pieces out and leaves that for me. He doesn't want to have to be bothered with the scooping them out onto the cookie sheet and waiting for them to cook and all of that jazz, which is fine. I don't mind. It's really not a big deal. But definitely there are some certain recipes that, but not maybe the ones you would traditionally expect. so Yeah, and i think I think Ryan's got it all figured out. He's got a sous chef to take care of the baking part of it. Yeah, the boring part. yeah That's not too bad. Yeah, when are you free, Sam? Never. I'm never free.
00:15:35
Speaker
but To find your own sous chef, Kelly. who Kelly, do you have any recipes that are made together or shared? Again, I think this is, it's so interesting. I think there's a season of doing things and not doing things. When I was a kid, I desperately wanted to bake every opportunity I got. And my mom was super worried about me using this oven when she wasn't awake and paying attention.
00:16:04
Speaker
But my mom also doesn't like people in her kitchen. So like,
Baking Traditions and Family Connections
00:16:07
Speaker
you're either asleep, in which case you don't want me using the oven, or you're awake, in which case you don't want me in your kitchen. Made for some difficult baking. But despite that, I persisted. And before I had kids, I did tons of baking and Christmas baking and probably overdid it because instead of doing a cookie exchange, I was just my own personal cookie exchange. Don't recommend.
00:16:29
Speaker
But more lately, I've started a tradition of getting up Christmas morning and making cinnamon buns. And for me, it's time, like it's a yeasted recipe. So I get up nice and early and it's more the rhythm and the grounding and the simplicity of something that takes time and is a big treat.
00:16:50
Speaker
And lately I've been just thinking a little bit about In a world where people don't have enough, but lots of people have too much and they're littered with stuff, you know, when can I use baking as a gift that both people can enjoy in the moment and it doesn't clutter up your house or end up in the landfill?
00:17:10
Speaker
So lately I've also been experimenting with cheesecake. Number one, kind of runny. Yeah. Number two, pretty good, I think. Number three, puffed up and kind of went over the pan, but still tasted good. So I'm still on a journey of cheesecake. I'll keep you posted. It's like a fun journey. I love it. We'll be on the taste testing panel. Just call I am free for that.
00:17:34
Speaker
ah We found your weakness. um For me, so I grew up, my mom baked a lot. My grandma baked a lot. Actually, I can remember being at my grandma and grandpa's house and there were the, I would call them the ice cream buckets, the ice cream pails. Now I don't know what would have been in them then, But anyway, so my grandma would make pails of oatmeal cookies and hermit cookies. And I think there was another kind of cookie, ginger maybe, I can't remember. But it was the oatmeal cookie.
00:18:09
Speaker
Those oatmeal cookies are just renowned in our family. And you have to get them so thin and they have to be cooked at a certain temperature to get that crispness. And so I think about that. And my mom made whipped shortbread. and so, and it melts in your mouth.
00:18:26
Speaker
So I think about that. And then I have a, I have recipes. Uh, I like to cook, I like to bake. And so I'm always, you know, receiving recipes from other people. It's, uh, It's a wonderful connection for me. and that they on the recipe card or the page or whatever, you can tell you know how long I've been collecting recipes when I say recipe card. I will put the name of the person who gave me the recipe. And then it's just a lovely little revisit with them and in my mind whenever I'm baking recipes. or preparing that recipe.
00:19:00
Speaker
So yeah, so getting together and cooking, whether it's solo, um parallel, whether it's a group. um And before we came on the podcast, we were actually even talking about, you know, if you ever did a potluck or shared something or brought something and how some people are a little bit holding back, reserved, thinking, I'm not going to eat that.
00:19:24
Speaker
I'm not, I won't be eating any food that I don't know the kitchen it's been prepared in and we were talking about you know the households that may have pets and I'm baking with my four-year-old grandson and I might turn around and to see him lick something in the bowl and so so you're not supposed to lick stuff in the bowl mid prep weird
00:19:46
Speaker
Oh, that's right. Oh, that's right. I forgot. You two are cookie batter eating people. Yes, we are. forgot. Delicious. Rags and all.
00:19:57
Speaker
Yeah. I just can't quite get into that. No. I will lick the chocolate icing beater. Before after the machine's off. After.
00:20:11
Speaker
one don't that but Okay. So I think that's wonderful.
Conclusion and Invitation for Listener Recipes
00:20:18
Speaker
We're getting a little bit goofy here now and we're starting to get into all of our particular ah weird ways of baking. And we're going to be including afterwards, you can look in Linktree and you will see our recipe. We will share a recipe with you. and share your family holiday recipe with us. Send it to us and we will enjoy. Remember, I like to bake. I like to cook. I'll try it.
00:20:47
Speaker
So what recipe, as we leave on the ground parenting this podcast episode, What is going to be coming up from your family ground to share with others? i was, when I heard you talk about the whipped shortbread, it just reminded me how much my dad loved shortbread. And I don't know that I have made shortbread since he passed away. So I'm going to dig up our old shortbread recipe. That's the one I'm going to share. Thank you.
00:21:15
Speaker
Oh, and nothing like being put on the spot. I think I should share the cinnamon buns because that's what we make. Or cheesecake. And maybe if you're really lucky, I'll find the lemon bars. That's our sort of longstanding family recipe. Nice. That's wonderful. Thank you. And it's ridiculous that I'm asking you to specify because I'm the last person who ever wants to nip be nailed down into one response, but perhaps it will be the oatmeal cookie.
00:21:44
Speaker
I think that might be worthwhile sharing. Yeah, like my grandma Morton's oatmeal cookie recipe. So thanks for joining us, everyone. We hope that your traditions have an opportunity to rise up from the ground and be fruitful within your family. From all of us here at Muskoka Family Focus, may your holiday time be enjoyable.
00:22:03
Speaker
See you at the next podcast. Farewell.
00:22:18
Speaker
On the Ground Parenting is a production of Muskoka Family Focus's parent education program. It is made possible the generous donations of listeners like you. If you'd like to make a donation, sponsor an episode, or just ask a question of one of our hosts, go to linktr.ee forward slash on the ground parenting.
00:22:36
Speaker
On the Ground Parenting is produced and published by Red Juice Studios. To learn more, go to redjuicestudio.com. Thanks for listening.
00:22:55
Speaker
And I bet, I bet James is going to edit out the tongue flapping. Or edit it in. We'll not be TikTok superstars.