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The Chillest Guy I know - Episode 9
31 Plays1 year ago
I think Adam's the chillest guy I know. We talk about how he got so chill, the value of discipline, and more on this episode of Wes Reflects.
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Transcript
Adam's Chill Persona and Internship Focus
00:00:00
Speaker
I'm not going to find my wife in a frat basement. I might have to broaden my search, but I wouldn't necessarily say I'm looking for a wife right now. What are you looking for right now? Right now, I'm looking for an internship for the summer. What's going on, everybody? Welcome back to Wes reflects today. We have a hell of a guest, Adam Friedberger. How's it going, Adam?
00:00:30
Speaker
Good, good, good. I'm happy to be here, excited for this conversation. Let's get into it. And the reason we have Adam on today is Adam is, if not the chillest man I know, he's up there. He's Rushmore. And today we're going to get to the bottom to it. And so I, it might even get to the point where it's annoying how much I'll say chill in this conversation. We're going to start by defining it. Adam, how would you define chill?
00:01:01
Speaker
How would I define chill? I think just like simple, like easy going. You know, nothing's, nothing needs to be as deep as other people make it. Not that deep. It's not that deep and things are deep, but you don't have to be like all in your head about everything. I think of it as like,
00:01:25
Speaker
Yeah, like you said easy going relaxed kind of like okay with almost anything and just like stable like you're just and chilled doesn't seem like a firm tree in the ground but that's what I like think of it as because like no matter what comes you're just like solid because you don't let anything shake you. Yeah. Go ahead. Sorry. No, no, no, you go. I was rambling.
00:01:51
Speaker
Were you always this chill? Were you born this chill? Did you get more chill along the way?
Overcoming Childhood Anger Issues
00:01:57
Speaker
Uh, dude, I, I had like anger issues when I was like a little, little kid, like up until like fourth grade, I don't know what was going on, but like from the go, like, um, I had like six ear infections as a kid or it might've even been more. I'm pretty sure it was six, but either way I didn't learn to talk till I was like,
00:02:21
Speaker
later on probably like three or four or something like that whatever like whatever the time is you learn to talk I was a couple years after that so like I was just mad all the time like apparently I was like biting kids like that so I don't know when I chilled out but uh life's been good it's been real good that is you have do you have like a defining moment when you kind of
00:02:48
Speaker
Eased up in life or became chill. It's interesting because people like meet me and they like basically how I feel about you. They're like, you're the most relaxed dude I've ever met. And I'm like. Yeah, but also like, no, there's a lot going on. Yeah, I was.
00:03:10
Speaker
I was an angry youth as well, just because everybody's going through their own stuff. And then just since then, it's been a journey to chillness. And it still like kind of surprises me when people are like, define me or like not define me, but they're like, Wes, you're so chill. And like, it's a new thing for me. I was like, yeah, in high school, I was the opposite of chill.
00:03:39
Speaker
But I do, I've been on like a self growth journey. And one of the books I read was radical acceptance, probably one of my favorite books I've ever read. And it's almost the same concept. Like chill sounds like there's no like merit to it. But acceptance is like, no matter what happens to you, you accept it, you're cool with it. And that doesn't really mean you're not going to do anything about it.
00:04:05
Speaker
but it just means like you're not denying the fact that it's there and you're okay with anything, which I think is a big part of it.
Embracing Change for Growth
00:04:12
Speaker
Yeah. I really liked that. Something, something for me that I'm not always like quote unquote chill about is like change, change can be really tough for me. Like, uh, for like, how was, how was the move to like Colorado? Like at first, cause that must've been like a,
00:04:33
Speaker
Really big change, not knowing many people.
00:04:37
Speaker
stuff like that. One quote I like is that the only constant in life is change. But yeah, it was a hell of an adjustment period. And I kind of like throwing myself in these periods of like big adjustment just because like even Adam and I, I met Adam working at Bernie's and I like drove up to New Hampshire and I was like, I want to work here. I didn't know anybody. I ended up like spending the whole summer there and I met Adam. I made good money, met good people.
00:05:05
Speaker
And so I kind of like to throw myself in these scenarios where I'm like forced to
00:05:12
Speaker
It's like throwing yourself in the deep end and you always learn to swim. But it was like, like you said, I didn't know anyone. I was going to a brand new school and I had an undergrad degree in business and I was starting like a whole new career path. So it was the first like two weeks, it was like I was like homesick for the first time in my life.
00:05:38
Speaker
And I'd like studied abroad. I'd worked at Bernie's. I worked at a summer camp where I was gone like the whole summer. And it was like the first time in my life where it was like part of me wishes I was at home just because there was no it was all change. It was there was nothing constant.
00:05:55
Speaker
But once again, got through it. I'm still in the early stage of it, but yeah, I love Colorado now, the mountains and everything. And when I was moving out there, people were like, everyone there is chill. Everyone's a chiller. Has that impression you've gone like so far made people?
00:06:15
Speaker
Yeah, I used to think that people were more different in like different areas of the world. But it's like like different cultures almost. And there is some truth to that. But it's not like I used to think everyone in Boston and New England was angry, which is not true.
00:06:33
Speaker
And I used to think that like everyone in Colorado is chill and that's not true. It's like, there's probably more angrier people in the Northeast. There's probably more chill people in Colorado, but it's like, there's good people everywhere. There's shitty people everywhere. And it's, I think it's more about like who you're surround yourself with rather than where you are geographically. Totally. How do you like the Northeast?
00:07:03
Speaker
Uh, I mean, I haven't really experienced anything else. Like I've lived in New Hampshire my whole life. Um, I originally, I wanted to go really far for school just to like, see what else is out there, but, um, I definitely will at some point, but I think I'll be New England my whole life, like close to the water, no taxes in New Hampshire. So I'm happy where I'm at.
00:07:31
Speaker
You kind of do have it all.
Returning Home and Sustaining Friendships
00:07:33
Speaker
And like you, I wanted to go far away for undergrad. I did it. And then I graduated. I wanted to go far away again. And the funny thing is like my time away has made me appreciate New England more than I had when I was in it.
00:07:52
Speaker
Yeah, it's like, every time coming home from school, like I'm at the University of New Hampshire, every time just driving back to Chester, like where I'm from, like it is the best feeling in the world, like driving through your hometown, like where you grew up, like
00:08:06
Speaker
Something about it, like the nostalgia of being there. And you have like the friends you grew up with or like, in some sense, like I'm in Colorado and I can meet friends who like ski and I can meet friends who like have common interests as me. But like when you were younger, like those people know you better than anyone. Oh my God. Yeah. Like my best friend, we met in first grade, like he's in Arizona doing school.
00:08:35
Speaker
I'm here in New Hampshire, but we're still best friends. Love those boys you grew up with. Yeah. Do you think you could ever meet someone today and get to that level? Oh, definitely. I mean, just here at college, I've met so many guys that, like my roommate Grady, this is my second year living with him. We were talking earlier.
00:09:02
Speaker
like drunk late night conversations. Like he's my boy, like he's my ride or die. So I don't think, so Tate tastes like my friend that I grew up with. He's obviously like up there, but I don't think it's necessary. Like no one will ever get to where he is. Like I could meet someone today and who knows, but I don't, I don't meet or I don't
00:09:32
Speaker
How do I say this? I'm not limited on my friends. I'm still looking for people. I don't know. Something I hear and I thought about it earlier. We spent a lot of time together this summer and you were one of my best friends just because I was there every single day. Yeah.
00:09:54
Speaker
You just got to move on. And like, I moved to Colorado, you're still in New Hampshire. And a part of that is sad, but I think there is some value to just like having faith that wherever you go, like you'll meet some chillers. Yeah. And I think it's whenever you make of it. Yeah. Like, I think you can go anywhere and do well. Like.
00:10:15
Speaker
So I think any guy can get along with any guy like, Oh, sports. Cool. Or like, I don't know. Like, I feel like off rip. We were like, like, I knew we were going to hit it off and we had a great summer.
00:10:31
Speaker
And yeah, I am at the period of like a new adjustment, but like I went abroad or first I went to JMU, my undergrad, made great friends. I went abroad, made great friends. And now like went to camp where I knew nobody, same thing, went to Bernie's, same thing. You just got to have faith. Is it sad for you that you're one of your closer friends lives all the way in Arizona?
00:11:02
Speaker
Uh, it was tough, maybe like coming into school, like freshman year, but I wouldn't say it's sad. No, we're, we're, everyone's on their own path. And, um, yeah, like we're, we're still very close. We might not talk every day, even like you and I, like we, we probably don't talk as much as we did this summer, but I would still consider you one of my close friends. Like I could text you at any time. So.
00:11:32
Speaker
I'm sad that we don't hang out as much, but that relationship hasn't gone anywhere. And I want to go back to something you said earlier. It was like, well, yeah, one you I'm still like in the back of my mind is I can't believe that you were like an angry youth.
Maturing Through Positivity and Support
00:11:55
Speaker
Was it just a natural progression of like growing up made you more relaxed?
00:12:01
Speaker
I think so. Cause like I, there's countless stories. I don't know where like all the anger came from. Like, like I get told about it all the time that like my mom was my soccer coach. I'm probably like 12 years old and I just like took off my shin guards, took off my cleats, like on the field, took them off. Like I was like, I'm done. So I don't know because I feel like I've always been like a very positive person. Like, um,
00:12:30
Speaker
My, my head space has always been good. Like I'm a very yes, yes, orientated. Like I'm always looking to keep going. So I don't, I don't know when there was a change or if there ever was a change and it's just like part of growing up and just maturing a little bit, but I've always supported, I've always like been like around supportive people.
00:12:55
Speaker
Not even like for me, like pursuing it. I think I've just always been in like a good space, like good friends growing up, great parents. It's always just been positive for me, which I think has shaped me into, man, I'm going to be. And what, what would it take nowadays for you to get angry? Uh, dude, it's tough. Like there's not much that like someone could say that would get me like,
00:13:25
Speaker
really bad. I don't know what, what makes me angry. Cause I'm just curious about the balance of like, cause tip ideally I'm chill all the time, but I don't want to let people like disrespect or take advantage of me or anything. Oh yeah, totally. Um, I don't know. I don't think I have that. Like obviously I would stand up for myself, but
00:13:51
Speaker
I don't know what kind of gets you,
Handling Disrespect and Standing Up for Oneself
00:13:54
Speaker
like what gets under your skin? Like say a guy at a bar is clearly like being a dick. Are you at the point in your life where you can be like not worth the fight or what would it take? What would he have to say to you? Or like, would it just have to be disrespect? Would it have to be like, you have to defend yourself?
00:14:16
Speaker
I mean, if, if he's like throwing punches, I'm defending myself, but unless he's like, let's, he's talking about like my family or anything like that, or like really disrespecting like a friend or something like that. Other than that, like if you're a Dick, like cool, I'm going to be me. I'm going to be over here. Yeah. But I'll miss someone's like talk about. Yeah. I'll miss someone's talk about like my family or nothing. I'm, I'm normally like a calm head.
00:14:43
Speaker
Yeah, I, just for me, it's like tough to just like walk away when they're being a dick. But I know in the back of my head, my parents have told me this, like it's never worth the fight. Cause like best case, like you guys get kicked out and like your nights over. Yeah. I, I don't think I've ever been in like an altercation. That's like specifically like just me and someone else. Like.
00:15:11
Speaker
So maybe I just haven't experienced it, but like if my friend was getting disrespected or something like that, like I'm always there. Yeah. But I haven't personally been in like a situation that I've had to be like, all right, let's, let's go. It's definitely easier to be chill when you're rolling deep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Our girls is chills guys. Oh, it's a loaded question. There's definitely some chill girls out there.
00:15:41
Speaker
Um, I don't think there's any chill females in my life right now, but I would love to meet them. Yeah. I think it is more just like I was saying about like where you live. It's like, you can't just say like all guys are chill. No girls are chill, but it's just probably more a guy is more likely to be chill is at least where we're at right now. Yeah. And I really don't know.
00:16:10
Speaker
Like I'm a dude, so I don't really know too much about how a female is feeling. But just off of my experiences, I feel like it's so easy to like connect with a guy compared to like girls meeting with girls. But I don't know, because I'm not a girl and I've never really talked to one about that. You should get a girl on the podcast and dive deep into how they feel about everything.
00:16:38
Speaker
I definitely will. One of my friends in Colorado really wants to come on and I will have her on. Although part of why I first started it and why I think it could be successful is because guys normally don't talk about
00:16:55
Speaker
anything like deep online or in person or like online in general like if I asked my like an older guy in my life and my family if you like how he feels about something he's just like there's a firm barrier there and you know what I mean
00:17:10
Speaker
Yeah, it's like he's good Don't worry about it. Yeah and I think like I am in the mental health field I'm trying to get the gentleman talking more a little bit and especially because like I like to talk and I think it's healthy to talk Yeah, totally and I think girls already are
00:17:33
Speaker
talking like they talk about their emotions definitely a lot less limitedly. So I was trying to get the conversations going but I will have some girls on the show. Are there things in your life that you want one day that you don't have now and how do you find peace with that? What do I want in life?
Finding Fulfillment in Career Planning
00:18:02
Speaker
Yeah. I remember one of our late night talks doing sauce. We were talking about like looking for a wife and I think we both want wife's but. Yeah. When you said that question, I would get us right where my mind went is where's my wife? A part of me is like. Just like work on other things, wait for her to come to you and a part of me is like, should I be out there looking for? Yeah.
00:18:32
Speaker
Yeah, I, yeah, I think about that a lot. Um, but I think, I don't know how you go about it. Cause I think if you're really looking, you're not going to find it. But at the same time, if you're not looking at all, like, like, is it just going to come to me? So I don't know. Yeah, totally. And I don't even know if that's what I want right now too. And you think really big, but, um,
00:18:59
Speaker
I'm not going to find my wife in a frat basement. I might have to broaden my search, but I wouldn't necessarily say I'm looking for a wife right now. What are you looking for right now? Right now I'm looking for an internship for the summer. That is where my head is at. I don't know. I think the only time I really stress myself out these days is like,
00:19:29
Speaker
thinking about the future and thinking about what I want to do full time. And I can easily just like, like, all right, I don't need to like be thinking about this right now. I'm stressing myself out. But at the same time, I feel like that's something that I do have to really think about on, Hey, what do I want to do? Can I really do this for a long time in my life? So yeah, I guess what I want is a job that
00:19:53
Speaker
will make me successful, but also something that like, I'll be able to do like five days out of the week, six days out of the week.
00:20:01
Speaker
I agree in it. My mind goes to like the balance of like, if you're like in the moment, it's like, I don't need a job right now. Like my, my, I have enough money. My stomach is full. I have a roof over my head. It's not always my roof. Thank you, mom and dad. It's like, how do you like stay in the moment and also like prepare for the future for things like a way for things like a career.
00:20:32
Speaker
And it's thing. Still definitely haven't figured it out. I'm not really too worried that I will, but I think it's about like balance and like. One thing I've heard in a podcast or read in a book, it's like. Prepare for it, but like, don't think about the outcome. Just be like, I'm gonna apply for these jobs. And then if you get an interview, just like do it.
00:21:01
Speaker
Do you think you'd be okay if wife never comes? If there's a dude. I don't know. I want a family. Like, not right now, but I feel like that's something I definitely think about. So I don't know.
00:21:28
Speaker
I do know that like if whoever I do want to be with, like I don't want to divorce, which is like probably everybody, but like, I feel like there are a lot of families that split up and I'm very fortunate to have both my parents like still together and supporting me. So that's something that I would want to have. So whenever I do find my wife, like I'm definitely a ride or die type of guy. Like I'm looking for a long term. So.
00:21:59
Speaker
We'll see man. How about you? Do you think you could go? No wife or maybe that just like, that's just not in the cards for you. I don't know. I really, that's one of the things where it's like, I don't know what my life would look like if I didn't have one. I agree. I also want to like probably raise a kid, I guess.
00:22:23
Speaker
Because like, where I'm thinking right, I've always said like, I'd rather not get married than marry the wrong girl. Like, what if you're 50? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a very valid point. And I guess we're just gonna have to find out when we're 50.
00:22:42
Speaker
Yeah, and I think you always watching the Sopranos right now in a quote is don't don't let anyone make you feel like you don't have options.
Acceptance and Reflecting on Unplanned Success
00:22:50
Speaker
And so if you really it's about if it's about raising kids, you could adopt which I've there's always options for what you really want. And I think just a concept in life in general, it's like you're better like
00:23:04
Speaker
If it's not in the cards, then it's not in the cards and you're better like accepting that and like seeing, okay, if that's not going to happen, what else can I do rather than like fight what clearly isn't meant to be. Yeah. Kind of like, okay, what's next? Yeah. I like that.
00:23:24
Speaker
Cause there's a lot of things in life, at least in my life, where it's like in the moment, I was like, that's really not what I wanted. Or it's like, I wanted something and it didn't happen. So obviously I was like sad, but in the end, everything has worked out pretty great. And I remember, you remember Mark, the dude we worked with? His mindset was always like, everything just seems to work out for me. And a part of me was like,
00:24:01
Speaker
I mean, that's a good mindset to have, but I don't know if that is what was actually happening for him. Yeah. I love the mindset and maybe that's everything that happened to him. Like that's all he needed.
00:24:19
Speaker
And he was a bit of like a interesting guy. Maybe he doesn't want the normal things. And maybe, but I think in general, like looking back, there's a quote that's like, life can only be understood, like looking backwards, but you have to live it forwards. And that's kind of the, where a lot of the problems arise out of. Do you think you reflect a lot on
00:24:45
Speaker
Like everyday things or situations that have happened. Like how is your kind of thought process through stuff like that? Constantly. This, this podcast is called West Reflex. Okay. Yeah. Okay. But I think, yeah, that's one of the, that's one of the things I think you have to do. It's like you will, and I think everyone's kind of afraid to make mistakes, but they're inevitable.
00:25:16
Speaker
But what isn't inevitable is like making them over and over again, which some people have. And it's like, that's kinda where your choice is. Like you don't have the choice whether or not to make mistakes. Your only choice is like whether or not you learn from them.
00:25:35
Speaker
Yeah. So it's like everything.
Learning from Mistakes for Character Development
00:25:39
Speaker
I've like been close to getting things I wanted set like multiple times, whether it was like a girl or like a job or like joining an organization at school, but I did something to mess it up and it stung real bad because I wanted all of those things. But.
00:25:59
Speaker
There's this like Kung Fu Panda clip where this guy's like hitting them with a stick and then he's like, ah, what'd you do that for? And then he swings again and like the guy ducks and it's like, good job. Like some things are going to hurt in life and you can either like learn from them or just like, let them keep happening. And that's all it is. Yeah. I think that's, you hit it right on the nail, dude. Like, I think, uh,
00:26:26
Speaker
like experiences like that or something we've been talking about recently is like crucible experiences, like big events and like big events in your life that have kind of like shaped or changed you. So like, I think mistakes are a huge, like crucible experience, like, especially like big mistakes. Like I, I definitely told you about like my story freshman year about how I like got kicked out of one of the dorms here at UNH. So.
00:26:56
Speaker
just for everyone else. Freshman year. I'm in the elevator with a couple of my friends. Some girls walked in. It's like super awkward. Like we were having a good time and then it was just like dead silent. And I was a little drunk, whatever. I was like, you know what? Let's, let's break the ice. Like this is weird. So I do the joke when you're like, Hey, you have something on your shirt and then you like flick them. And I did that to one of the girls and she was an RA.
00:27:23
Speaker
at the dorm. So she like freaked out, blah, blah, blah. She said I'd like sexually harassed her like she felt super uncomfortable. But like pass all that like terrible thing like in my head like for a while I was like what the hell like who is this girl like I can't believe she did that. But it definitely like that was a crucible experience for me because like
00:27:47
Speaker
it made me like see the world and like just before that I've never really gotten like real trouble so that was kind of like wow I need to like I was kind of like living life on easy mode like I could do anything like blah blah blah so that kind of that was a good like real life example of like knowing that you need to
00:28:12
Speaker
Like mature a little bit or just be aware of your situations. Like think before you act kind of stuff like that. So I think, yeah, it was a mistake, but I've grown so much because of that mistake. So I think mistakes are huge for a character development as well as just like maturing as a person. Yeah. Thank thinking before I act is still something I'm working on. Do you still have like anger towards that girl?
00:28:40
Speaker
No, it's more of like a joke nowadays. Like, I'll do the joke to someone like, like, it's friendly, no more strangers. But no, I yeah, I was definitely mad for a while. But at the end of the day, like, what I intended it to be into how she how it affected her. Like, regardless of how I wanted it to go, like, I still made her uncomfortable. Yeah, like,
00:29:11
Speaker
I didn't, I didn't like grab her tits or anything like that. Like, I like pointed and then I flicked her face. But like, I, I was definitely in the wrong like, what I was intending or not, because she wasn't comfortable with it. So no, I'm, I don't hold any bad judgment towards her. And everyone's going through their own stuff. And you have no idea until even if you talk to them, you could have no idea how they're doing. So
00:29:38
Speaker
I think it's good to think about that before you just judge to judge someone. I like a lot of things you said. One, the overall mindset I think is mature. Number two, it's like, that's another thing I'm trying to move towards and I've definitely gotten a lot better. Like so many people like will get you mad, but in reality, you have no idea what they're going through.
00:30:04
Speaker
And I've heard the quote, it's like, everyone's going through something like, you know, nothing about. And I think often, if not always, it's like, if someone makes you mad or is like being an undesirable presence, like one of my friends said to me, it's like, you can't hate someone more than they hate themselves. And that's true. Cause like a lot of people are their own biggest critic, but also go ahead.
00:30:33
Speaker
I was, what was I going to say? Not continue my bed. I also kind of forgot where I was going, but I can scramble. Yeah. So you were talking about.
00:30:49
Speaker
But it's really hard in the moment. In the moment, it feels like this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. But like, as you can see that moment for you in hindsight, like, I don't know if you would call it like, you're happy it happened, but it's like, like you said, a lot of growth came from it. I mean, yeah, in the moment, it was terrible. Like, it's my first year in college. I'm really not like, I wasn't ready to like,
00:31:18
Speaker
It was the first time I was by myself, like without my parents and something like that happened. So it really freaked me out. I was like, am I still going to be able to do school? Like I was really stressed out. And for me, that was probably the first time I've really had like anxiety or stress. Like I feel like I've always been kind of a calm dude. So yeah, it opened up a lot of doors. Are you, how do you feel about entering the real, what year are you?
00:31:48
Speaker
I'm a junior. How do you feel about entering the quote unquote real world soon? Um, yeah. So I definitely like, when I think about it a lot, I definitely stress out a little bit, but it's also, so I'm, I'm in a fraternity here and I was really close with a lot of the seniors that graduated last year. And, um, a couple of them came for a career fair, like with their,
00:32:18
Speaker
like companies that they're working with now and it was it was really cool but it was also really weird to see like friends i was just with like working at nine to five so i think honestly it helps seeing them because it was like all right they're doing it like i can do this so it's more of just trying to be happy with my life because like my dad my dad makes like a good amount of money like
00:32:44
Speaker
he provides for the family, but he hates his job, like hates it completely. So I just, I would love to make the money that he makes, but I like, is it worth the money if you're not like happy?
00:33:00
Speaker
I would definitely say no, that's something because I, I've probably told you this a bunch of times, but I was junior year, I had an internship and I was like going down the finance data analytics path where I was like, and they offered me a job. I was set to make like a decent amount of money. I was like, for me.
00:33:24
Speaker
It had to, I had to be doing something I was like passionate about because I, I was conscious that it was going to be like they say 40 hours a week for like 40 years of your life. That is legit, like half of your time on earth. And it's, if you're doing something that you don't love, it's like.
00:33:45
Speaker
I think you can get through it. And a lot of people do just like, this allows me to provide for my family. And we live in a world today where it's like, it's getting, it's getting harder and harder to like do what you love. Yeah. Which is kind of sad, but do you, do you think humans are meant to be on the nine to five? Oh, I don't know.
00:34:12
Speaker
Uh, like an ideal world, everyone would do what makes them happy, but like, obviously that's not sustainable. So I don't know. I think it's just, I don't want work to consume me. Like whatever I do, I do want to be great at, like whether I enjoy it or not, like I want to succeed in what I do, but I also, I want to be able to leave work at work. Like, especially like I'm going back to Walmart right now.
00:34:42
Speaker
for work over this, uh, the winter break, which is going to be terrible. Like while it's not, but like you, you see that in the full-time employee, obviously like some of them might've not gone to college. So Walmart was kind of like really their only option, but just seeing them every day kind of just like miserable. Like that, that scares me. And even if that is what you have to do for work, I feel like you have to find another way to still be happy. Yeah.
00:35:12
Speaker
Like whether that's a hobby or I don't know, paid vacations. I don't know how other people do it, but I know whatever I do, regardless, like I'm going to try to like make the most of it. And that's, that's a key thing. It's like.
00:35:29
Speaker
Ethan, one of the waiters at a restaurant, like he got there and he gave it his all every day. And he probably had like, I don't know if he was happier, but like, I think he was like decently happy just as like a waiter, not that a waiter is like anything low or anything. I like being a waiter, but I, I at least was not giving it my all. And I think I would have, I think I would have been better off like giving it my all. Yeah.
00:36:00
Speaker
And I don't, the way Ethan works is insane. Like I think if I was trying to do what Ethan did, I would be burnt out. Like for me, that wouldn't be sustainable, but for him, like he was, he's the first one there, like probably one of the last ones to leave. Like he, he loves what he does and he's, he's good at it. So I think his.
00:36:23
Speaker
His engine, like his motor is something that everyone should kind of strive for. Like the way he could just go, go, go. It's awesome. Yeah. That guy gave it his all like every second he was there. And that's why I think he enjoyed, like he should, at the end of the day, when he's like getting off and he made a boatload of money, he should be proud because he worked his ass off. Yeah. And I was listening to this podcast. It's like, I've never.
00:36:49
Speaker
The quote was, I've never regretted trying harder. And it, it sat me down. I'm still processing it. Yeah. What do you, what do you think? Like, what does that mean to you? Cause like, whether that be school or like the gym, it's like, you can sit at a job you think you don't like and maybe you don't like it, but.
00:37:14
Speaker
Every time I've decided to work harder, and I actually did, it's true. I've never regretted it.
Influence of Strong Work Ethic and Discipline
00:37:20
Speaker
And if it's like, I've worked, say you're like work grinding, like as hard as you can, nine to five for like a certain amount of time, like for a promotion and you don't get the promotion, like even
00:37:35
Speaker
Even if you don't get the promotion, like you probably are better off in that company. You probably like, you have something to be proud of. You need like something to be proud of, I think. And I think that if you're really like.
00:37:52
Speaker
like, like Ethan, for example, like first one there, last one will leave. Like if you're bringing that like energy, like promotion or not, I think around you, even if you're not, it's kind of like an informal leader. Like you're kind of building the culture. Like people are going to see that work and be like, all right, like this guy's working or maybe not. But I think in my cases, like your energy affects everyone around you. So like,
00:38:20
Speaker
everyone's negative, like everyone's gonna be negative. But if someone's like, hey, like, let's, let's go hard, like, let's do this, like, that can really bring up people around you. So I think all around, like, giving your best is not only gonna help everything, but also like, help the people around you be better.
00:38:40
Speaker
And that reminds me of what we were talking about earlier. It's like in this case, the input would be like how hard you work and the output would be like a promotion. It's like forget about the promotion. Just like work hard for you and you'll be way more likely to get like the things like promotions or a raise because like he had the best section and he there's not a day where I was like he didn't deserve it because he was working his ass off and I wasn't.
00:39:09
Speaker
Yeah, I'm mad he has the best section while I'm sitting down in the back using my phone. Like, yeah. Like, yeah, he deserves it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like me, you and Jimmy, we were chilling the whole time at work while he was grinding.
00:39:24
Speaker
Do you think that if, my answer is yes, but do you like, if you're working as hard as you can at something for like an extended period of time, I think it's almost inevitable that you're going to get something like a raise or a promotion or some form of success. I mean, I would hope so. I mean, but like, how, how do you, cause I've, I've never had experience like this, but like,
00:39:54
Speaker
How do you handle it if you don't? Like say you get the promos. Yeah. Say, say for like a year, like you're, you're going hard, hard, hard doing the best you possibly can. And like you're not, you're not really getting anything out of it. Like promotion wise or like salary rise, like should you be doing it for you or is it really for that progression?
00:40:21
Speaker
I think the my my immediate instinct is just keep working and because I think if you do it for you then you will keep going and maybe it was a bad year maybe you didn't get any monetary reward but I believe that like
00:40:38
Speaker
not even believe like legitimately if you work some like for years and years and you're working as hard as you can like good things will happen I think hard work always pays off in one way or another and say like five ten years go by ten sounds like a lot say five years go by and like that company's not promoting you then
00:41:01
Speaker
You know what you're doing and you could take your talent and your hard work somewhere else that will give you a promotion. Don't let anyone tell you that you don't have options. Something I've been on recently, one of the guys was saying it at the house, but discipline is even more than motivation. Which is huge.
00:41:32
Speaker
I've been running a lot recently. I used to love to lift weights, but I lost my fire for that. And running has always made me feel better than lifting does. And so every day I run outside and the thing I have in my ear, I look up motivation core on YouTube and then I just listen to it while I run.
00:41:53
Speaker
and yesterday it was a two-hour video called discipline and it was just like hammering it home in my head and yeah when I was like really I went from like a pretty scrawny kid to someone with like a decent enough build and the way I did that is like you can't only work out when you feel like working out like the results come from consistency they come from discipline which they defined as like doing it even though you don't want to do it
00:42:23
Speaker
Yeah, which is the hardest part 100% when you when you don't want to do something. Feels so good when you do do it though, like those days you're kind of sick. Yeah, but it's also like the answer because that's it relates just to what we were talking about. It's like
00:42:44
Speaker
You haven't had a promotion in like a year, you know how hard it is to like keep working hard? But I also and all the people like in the YouTube video I was listening to while running like incredibly successful people and that's why like I'm gonna listen to them over like anyone else. The people like incredible like top 1% successful people and all of them are like I got here through discipline and it's like
00:43:10
Speaker
There were a lot of days where I didn't feel like doing it and I did it anyway. And they also say, once you've done that a certain amount of time, it becomes a habit. And once you make that a habit, you're almost untouchable. I need that as a habit. Because what I was just about to ask is, how do you not burn out? I definitely have days that I'm just like,
00:43:34
Speaker
Hey, like I just can't like, or just those days that you don't want to work, like at all, like the last thing you want to do to work. Like how do you get yourself to go? Like, how do you stay disciplined on your worst times?
00:43:47
Speaker
You just do it. Yeah. There's this, I think it's like mother Teresa. I was at this, like at my internship, doesn't really matter. I was at this woman's house for my internship and it's like, some people are going to make you mad, be kind anyway. And there, it was just like a bunch of those. It's like, some days you're not going to feel like doing it. Do it anyway. Because if you let, and this is, you know, David Goggins. Yeah.
00:44:17
Speaker
he this is like his whole thing because it's like when you don't want to do something and you do it anyway you're like showing your mind that like it's not in charge you are and then it gives you like a lot more power than just like being victim to whatever you feel like doing that day that's definitely something I can incorporate at least within this last week like it's been
00:44:44
Speaker
It's been finals week. Like I don't really have too many exams, but more projects, but just getting myself to actually like sit down and like work has been so tough. Like, and I'm normally just like, whatever, like let's do it. But like this week it's been like, I've actually had to take like everything out of me to like, just sit down and do my work. So I think discipline's huge and something everyone could like benefit from.
00:45:11
Speaker
100%. And I've been in areas of my life where people are like, you're so disciplined, how do you do it? And for me, it was like, there's no answer. It's like, I don't want to do it either, do it anyway. But I am also in a period of my life where it's like, I'm not where I was. I used to wake up, workout. I used to wake up cold shower, workout, meditate. And I was like,
00:45:37
Speaker
on a different level. I never like I was a beast. And then I got to a point where I was like, I'm pretty happy right now. Do I really need to work out? And it's like, no, you don't need to do anything. But these things will put you in like a much better position daily. Yeah, I think I've been kind of cycling on the gym to like the fires not there as used to be.
00:46:06
Speaker
Like even when I do get to the gym, like I always warm up with like basketball because like we have a bunch of courts, but then I'll saw like a poop for like 15, 20 minutes. And then like, I'll start working out and be like, it sucks. Like I just want to play basketball so that I had to play basketball, but that is.
00:46:24
Speaker
It's all come in full circle, but it's like, that's the equivalent of like a job you love versus a job you don't like. Like both of those things are exercise. One of them you like doing more, one of them you don't. And that's why, and it's like,
00:46:41
Speaker
playing basketball is exercise and for a while I did want to have that like fuck bodybuilder build but it's like I I know that's not gonna make me maybe that'll make me like 1% happier and that's it like I care I exercise
00:46:58
Speaker
And that's this is the point of like remembering why you do things because for a while I was like working out to get jacked and then I got to like a certain level I was like I don't care anymore but I still want to work out to be like healthy but you could easily like I've been running that's enough to stay healthy playing basketball is enough to stay healthy oh yeah I feel so good after I bet everyone does like after exercise like there's no feeling in the world like walking out of the gym just like
00:47:28
Speaker
adrenaline's up, heart beats up, like you're just on top of the world. So I think exercise is definitely important for just like mental health and staying where you need to be.
00:47:41
Speaker
And I think, I don't even like love run. I kind of like running. No, I don't. I don't like it at all. I love how it makes me feel kind of just like you said, but like my parents are very, they're both like very into tennis and they like love playing tennis and it like. What's up. Yeah. Can I just have it for like the last three minutes? Thanks.
00:48:08
Speaker
Dang. That time dude, they're kicking me out. But it's like, my parents play tennis. They love playing tennis. Like just probably how you like playing basketball. It keeps them in shape and they get like friends out of it. So it's like bang, bang, bang, bang. Yeah. Well, Hey, we should, I would totally be down to do another one. I feel like we got cut a little short, but, um,
00:48:35
Speaker
I miss talking to you dude, like these are the best. One last question I want to hit you with and I hope you hit me with what you always hit me with, but what advice would you give to younger Adam? Younger Adam.
00:48:52
Speaker
The biggest one is BU. Yeah, baby. That's what I was looking for. That is what I've lived by first. And it started as a joke. We were in Hampton, and we were staying at one of those beachy houses all over the place, BU. But at the end of the day, that is how I live my life. You have to be yourself. Other people can do stuff, like you were saying earlier,
00:49:17
Speaker
like some people will say stuff that can get you bad or things that can get you upset. Screw them. Like, it's so hard. It's so easy to be like, Oh, they don't matter. Like nothing matters what they say, but you still got to be yourself. And yeah, it's as simple as be you 100%.
00:49:38
Speaker
Yeah, man, I miss talking to you. I'd love to have you on. Hit me whenever and I'll tell whoever's coming on your next week. All right, well, thanks for the time. I'm getting kicked out of the room, but definitely stay in touch. 100%. Thanks, Adam. Yeah, see ya. Peace.