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21 Savage gave up - Episode 2
15 Plays1 year ago
I was going to make this 2 episodes but I don't know how
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Transcript
Finding Purpose Through Passion
00:00:01
Speaker
What's going on? I just recorded my first podcast a couple hours ago, but I want to record another one. When I recorded the first one, I had a great time. I lost track of time.
00:00:21
Speaker
and I feel like I entered like a flow state. I've heard the advice before, if I sound a little lispy it's because I'm wearing my retainer, but please don't judge me or make fun of me. I'm wildly insecure. The thing is, I've heard, and one of the reasons I want to do it again is I've heard that the thing that makes you lose track of time, that's your purpose.
00:00:51
Speaker
That's what you were put on this earth to do. I've heard that before and I feel like I might have hit something.
Emotional Resonance and Resilience
00:01:03
Speaker
And I also there's a song called Playboy Cardi called I can't believe that we made it this far.
00:01:13
Speaker
And whenever I'm feeling incredible, that is the song I play because that is how I feel. It explains it perfectly. I want it to be my wedding song, I think. My first dance at my wedding, I want that and I think I will sob. I will cry my eyes out. And it's
00:01:40
Speaker
I don't know how to explain it. I don't think I need to. I think it explains itself like whenever that's when I'm talking about the pros of going through some shit and I may be an upper I might be a white kid who was raised in an upper middle class family who on paper I have arguably a perfect wife.
00:02:08
Speaker
but it has not been easy, I'll tell you that. But every time, and that's what I'm talking about, the pros of going through some shit is because any time I feel good, it's like I cannot believe we made it this far. I came so far and I'm proud of myself. I think I said that like three or four times in the other podcast, which is a little wild, but I am.
00:02:38
Speaker
And I'm feeling like I just got so many good people in my life.
Intentional Living and Mental Health
00:02:42
Speaker
They say you have to be intentional about the people that you put in your life. And I think it's true. Because you become more like the people that are in your life. Like if you hang out with five people who gossip, you're going to be the sixth.
00:03:01
Speaker
same thing for if you hang out with five people that are kind you're gonna be kind like they make you who you are and that is how could you not be intentional when that's the case that's like what it's all about
00:03:19
Speaker
People ask me, and I'm people, they say, Wes, this life thing, man, what's that all about? And I'll tell you what it's all about.
00:03:32
Speaker
Now, now I forget. The podcaster cannot remember anything. Who constantly lose track of his train of thought. The train just believe in a station and I'd be like forgetting what train I was on. Living with intensity. Two things though. If something like that happens, don't get angry because if you don't remember, clearly wasn't that important.
00:04:01
Speaker
living with intention like that's what it's all about that's how I'd answer that question it's living with intention because I'll tell you I'll tell you I tried to live for a very long time without intention it was not going well it was not going well at all I don't want to just keep talking about like I had a period where I was depressed but it's like it made me who I am
00:04:37
Speaker
And I think that's kind of what this, like I want this podcast to help people who are going through similar things. And I think it's useful to talk about it. And I know, I don't, let me tell you something. If you were to ask me, hey Wes, what's something you hate? I'd say, man, I don't hate nothing. But something I really don't like is stigma. And I don't think, I don't like how men aren't allowed to talk about the shit they go through.
00:05:07
Speaker
Fuck at that. It's not because men go through shit. I promise you. And it is, like I was saying on the last episode, dude, when you keep it all in, that's when shit gets funky.
00:05:23
Speaker
Like when there's moisture and you keep it in, shit gets moldy. And I got moldy. I'm working on it. I'm working on letting it out, airing myself out, airing my shit out. But I got moldy. And being moldy, I'll tell you, it's not a lot of fun.
00:05:50
Speaker
i don't know if this is where i should go next but this is where i want to go so it's where i will go like i think a lot of problems that show up on like a physical level whether that's like back pain or um stomach problems like
00:06:06
Speaker
Those are totally random by the way. I there's no way I've been Having chronic neck and back pain for three years at the age of 22. I don't got stomach problems. My stomach's fantastic. I don't So don't don't be thinking I'm bringing my own like these are random examples And I think you're looking a little too much into it, and it's a little concerning I'm worried about you but I think like
00:06:34
Speaker
it's a little woo-woo let me tell you something maybe being woo-woo is a little cuckoo as in cool cool because I think some of it is true there I said it lock me up I'm a very bad man I think things like that like I think it all all problems start in the mind and if the mind is good you're gonna be healthy
00:07:02
Speaker
You gotta take care of your mind. You gotta live with intention. Me and you. Same stuff. There's definitely gonna be a lot of inside jokes on this podcast and I don't think anyone's gonna care enough to get it. Maybe they will. I hope they do. I pray they do. But I just got a lot of great people in my life. I'm still debating if I should name them.
00:07:35
Speaker
let's look at the pros and cons that's how you make decisions people and one thing i heard is you don't worry about like making the wrong decision don't worry about making right decisions make the decision right and what that means is you usually like the important thing is making a decision and moving forward and it's never too late to say sorry or make things right
00:07:58
Speaker
and that is easier said than done like many things in life but these little sayings like that like that and choose your heart like those help me a lot because I don't know and it's I don't have to know
00:08:12
Speaker
That's another thing I'm working on. All I do is try to understand life. And honestly, it works. I
Understanding Life and Personal Growth
00:08:23
Speaker
understand. I feel like I'm really getting a grip on this whole life thing. Which feels amazing. Because when you feel like you don't have a grip on life, it's not great. It's scary. Every day is very scary.
00:08:38
Speaker
but I feel like I'm getting a grip and don't let that boy get a grip some people call me the kid by people I mean me and do not let the kid get a grip do not let the kid get hot because once I have a little momentum you are cooked lights over curtains game over no more game and I truly believe that
00:09:09
Speaker
it's like in a non cocky way it's like I'm Michael Jordan if you give me anything you're fucked and you're lucky that I use my power and my greatness for love and not hate I know this is the cockiness I was talking about I can be a little cocky and I don't think it's a good or a bad thing it has some pros and it has some cons
00:09:40
Speaker
and there's been people in my life where it's like this person I know I'm aware I'm aware this person is affecting my life negatively and I keep a minute and I do it because I think I'm being nice but I'm not and I'll tell you why I know you didn't ask why but I'm gonna tell you why and it's because you're not being nice you're being weak
00:10:09
Speaker
that's right I'm like in the mental health game I'm currently getting my masters in social work and I want to be a mental health therapist and I think something that's missing from the mental health game is like not always keeping it real
00:10:26
Speaker
like if I told my client came to me was like I can't cut this person off like I want to but I can't I'm like you're being weak you got nothing you're weak I don't think that would go like that's not how they operate in the field but I can say it to myself
00:10:52
Speaker
I'm being weak and I know it and it's not it's not being you might it's legitimately like I promise you it's not nice because here's why it's not nice because me and you same stuff no I'm done joking around I'll tell you all right here we go I'll tell you why it's not nice
00:11:23
Speaker
There's a part of me that wants to keep this joke going, but I, this is number one, it's a mental health podcast. Number two, it'll be a comedy podcast, but here we go. All right, what's up?
00:11:41
Speaker
are we talking about? No. All right. Here's why it's not the nice it's not the nice thing to do. And it is the weak thing to do. It's because like if someone has a problem that's so bad, that you don't want them in your life anymore, like, that's probably something they should fix. And you keeping them in your life is your your help, you're like,
00:12:09
Speaker
you're preventing them from making the change they need to change because they might change if you cut them off they might be like damn like cutting someone off is like it's a serious thing and no it's not something you should take lightly and if someone cut me off I would 100% look in the mirror and be like do I have a problem and just because you cut someone off here there's a video young thug rapper
00:12:39
Speaker
he's done some questionable things don't get me wrong but he said he has a video like just because you lost me as a friend doesn't mean you gave me as an enemy and that is wise and that's how I operate just because I cut you off doesn't mean I don't want you to win I love you there's no one I hate I used to hate everyone now there's no one I hate I genuinely love everyone and I want
00:13:09
Speaker
everyone to win and i think we can all win and i think us as humans were all on the same team and we're playing the other animals and let me tell you something we are kicking the shit out of the other animals humans are so far above any other animal it's disgusting it's a little gross and frankly it makes me want to throw up because humans like we're running this bitch
00:13:38
Speaker
It's not even close. I mean, it depends on what you're judging by. Like, if you're judging by power, that's what I think I'm judging by. We are domesticating other animals and keeping them as pets. That's how far in the lead we are. We are playing with the competition. We're so not worried about them taking over that we let them live in our homes.
Embracing Vulnerability and Mistakes
00:14:10
Speaker
and what makes humans see this is I'm not this podcast is gonna be I'm not labeling it and I'm not labeling it because I don't want to feel limited I'm gonna talk about whatever I want to talk about if people don't want to listen they don't gotta listen see me I'm a stoic I focus on the things I can control
00:14:34
Speaker
What I control is I can talk about whatever the HE double hockey sticks I want. And that's a cool thing about life. You can do whatever you want. And if things, you got some bad shit in your life, if you got a bad life, it's you, it's your responsibility to change it.
00:14:53
Speaker
I said that because I don't do that if I keep losing my track of thought train of thought like I Don't know if I'll remember I guess it's not that important. No, I mean say shit I Got slowed down All right here we go I
00:15:30
Speaker
Hopefully this podcast blows the fuck up and I can get one of those guys like or I'm like, hey Jamie
00:15:39
Speaker
look that up or hey Jamie what was I just talking about I needed Jamie I think that's what Joe Rogan's guys named and I will hire someone and I will force them to change their name to Jamie because I think it's a fitting like if you're if I wanted my kid to grow up and be like a clip guy I'd name him Jamie and
00:16:05
Speaker
remember something that I was talking about earlier it was I got some oh yeah cutting people off that's what I was talking about because I got some good people in my life and you got to be intentional with like who you keep in your life there's some people it's like I want to be more like you and the way to do that is to spend more time with them because you can observe how they operate and I'm kind of a little
00:16:34
Speaker
I'm weird and I think weird is a good thing and the thing about me is that I am always I'm always thinking I'm always on and one of the benefits of that is like I learn a lot I'm always learning because I'm always observing because I'm always thinking and that means I'm always getting better and that's why I'm him bro but like I
00:17:03
Speaker
If you are around people, like what I was talking about before, like if you hang out with six smokers, you're going to be the seventh. If you hang out with 439 people that beat up children, you are going to be the 440th. Maybe. Maybe you just have like more common sense. Maybe you're just like a fantastic person.
00:17:28
Speaker
maybe you're not i think i'm very susceptible i use like big words like that all the time just so you know like saying that is not a big deal for me but i'm i'm susceptible i'm susceptible to bad influences other people influence me a lot peer pressure i'm like
00:17:53
Speaker
I've never resisted it. My parents were so good about like, don't do this, don't do that. They were telling me all the right things.
00:18:03
Speaker
The second I was offered any of those things, I was like, let's ride. And it's because I'm too dang curious. I can't just like not know. And I think that's why I tend to learn things the hard way, which has its pros and cons. And one of the pros, I tend to focus on the pros because I like being happy. That's a weird thing about me.
00:18:32
Speaker
Here we go This might like ruin the pocket But maybe I Don't know I'm doing this for fun and I'm loving it people in my life cut them off and I
00:18:55
Speaker
oh yeah the reason that's what I was really talking about the reason why it's not nice to like keep someone I think I already talked about it actually the reason is not nice it's not the nice thing you do to not cut someone off like you're not being nice you're being weak and it's because you're preventing them from changing you're preventing them from growing and like addressing the problem
00:19:22
Speaker
It's like if someone wants to quit smoking and you keep buying them cigarettes, you're not helping that person. You could be looked at in a way. It's all about perspective, but I like my perspective. I think I'm...
00:19:40
Speaker
Like I love the perspective I'm cooking right now Like that. I'm not that like specifically right now, but like I'm working towards and a lot of it is like perspective Everything depends on like how you look at it like I don't think I've said this probably 400 times and I Apologize if it's getting annoying, but I don't think things are good or bad. I don't think life itself is inherently good and
00:20:06
Speaker
And that's a little scary. I was scared of that for a long time. And the reason that's scary is because like, life could be awful. Life has like, we've gotten in world wars. And the shit has gotten sketchy. But we've always made it through.
00:20:34
Speaker
and that's what I choose to focus on and I genuinely believe if I chose to focus on the bad stuff and that's what a lot of people do that's what I did for a long time and I'm done it's no fun because if you're always looking for what's wrong like you're gonna find something and if you're always like appreciating things and you're always looking for what's right and that's the beauty it worked it goes both ways it goes both ways
00:21:05
Speaker
If you're always looking for what's right, if you're always looking for things you're grateful for, like that's what you're going to spend your time thinking about. And it is like more than proven that gratitude and like.
00:21:20
Speaker
Focusing on the good side like I'm not saying Be delirious about it. Like if you're sick, don't be like I feel fantastic That's not like having a positive attitude. That's lying. You got honesty is Probably just as important is what I'm talking about right now. Like if you were to ask me. Hey Wes What's it all about? I certainly Honesty would be up there
00:21:51
Speaker
And I think one thing I'd love to talk about is the difference between like ego
00:22:01
Speaker
and like real solid confidence. Ego, which is, I think, can be harmful. Ego most of the time is harmful. Ego's like, look at this car I drive, look at my house, look at like, it's external. It's things you're pointing to in like the material world that's like, I'm blank because this, but you know what?
00:22:25
Speaker
Like you can be, you can have a nice car and be terribly unhappy. It happens often. They say a lot of the richest people in the world are like miserable. Money does not make you happy folks. And everybody has heard that expression. I think most people know it's true. But they live their whole life like it's not. They work jobs they don't like so they can have a lot of money.
00:22:54
Speaker
and they're miserable and it's like buddy look in the fucking mirror look at your life look what like look at what you're doing that's the problem if you were if you were had a job you love that's a little that make you a lot happier than that big house and I think you need
00:23:20
Speaker
This money is something where you need a certain amount to get by and that's it. Once you have more than that, sure things don't make you happy. Everyone knows that, but they live their whole entire lives like it's not true.
00:23:39
Speaker
Fight Club, great movie. I didn't just say that name because for no reason I'm going somewhere. Fight Club, there's a quote in there where it says people work jobs they don't like to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't even like. And it's like
00:24:05
Speaker
That's on you. I hate to say it, but that's on you. You're weak. I'm kidding. But you are, it is your responsibility to change that. And it's not fun. Change is always uncomfortable. And that's why, if you were to ask me, hey Wes, this whole life thing,
00:24:35
Speaker
What's it all about? I didn't forget. I... Oh. I didn't forget. I'd say, hey man. It's about getting comfortable being uncomfortable. And no one has ever said that before. I made it up and I deserve the credit.
00:25:06
Speaker
But it's so true. And you hear all these things and you're like, damn, that's true. And then you live your whole life like it's not. That's the thing. You gotta like live. You gotta like the things you know are true. Use those.
00:25:36
Speaker
don't just ignore them and keep doing the shit that you always have done if you're not happy if you're doing great like if it ain't broke don't fix it but if it's broke fix it and the way you do that is by using what you know is true living with intention
00:26:06
Speaker
Life is like dangerous. There are things in life that are dangerous, like substances, like alcohol, drugs. You could die every time you get in the car. But you just gotta be smart about things. And the way you do that is like, think. Think about why you do things and make sure, like, live accordingly. Be cognizant.
00:26:35
Speaker
The things you know I Use words like that all the time and it's really not a big deal And
Strength in Acceptance and Humor
00:26:52
Speaker
that ladies and gentlemen Is the truth but I want to get back to this whole um
00:27:00
Speaker
Ego versus real confidence. Real confidence stems from accepting who you are.
00:27:10
Speaker
And so much peace comes for that. Brother, I'm working on it. I'm getting better. Because I'm him. I'm getting better at it. And it feels good. I can't tell you how much peace you will find in being yourself. And that's another thing where it's like, yeah, that's true. Being yourself is so important. And then you live your whole life like it's not true. And I don't...
00:27:36
Speaker
Maybe this doesn't apply to you, but maybe it does. I feel like if it doesn't apply to you, you might not be listening. And if you are listening, why do you think you're listening? Huh? Why do you think you're listening to this? Because you think you care about what I have to say. And I tell you, that means a lot to me. But you can. Why do you care about what I have to say? Because you
00:28:08
Speaker
Do you need some help? And I don't, when I say, I don't like saying that cause it's like help almost has a negative connotation, but help is the best thing in the world. Help is love. And I'm making this podcast because I love you and I want what's best for you and I want to help you. And I operated for a long time where it's like,
00:28:35
Speaker
Didn't I wanted I felt like I had to do it alone, and it's fucking not true Into the wild a popular book and movie He Reminds me of myself in some ways even though everyone kind of reminds me of myself, but I see a part of me in him because for a while especially when I
00:29:00
Speaker
had I was getting a business degree but just like I was doing that because I was good at it not because I loved it and I fantasized about getting in a van going into Alaska and trying to live in the wild which is exactly what he did and the conclusion his life's work
00:29:20
Speaker
was the following line I think he wrote it and people found it happiness is not real and less shared and that's that's fucking sad is what that is because he died and he died alone implying that he was not happy
00:29:52
Speaker
But I'll tell you something. I'm not gonna let his death be in vain. Accept help. People help you because they love you. Because they want you to win and they want you to succeed. That is a good thing. It doesn't mean you're weak. Not cutting people off. That's weak.
00:30:21
Speaker
but accepting help it's brave to accept help it you gotta be vulnerable you have to be very strong to reach out to someone and be like hey I'm not doing good I need some help and hopefully you got some good people in your life that you can reach out to and if you don't motherfucker reach out to me and I'll try to help you because I
00:30:49
Speaker
helping people is what i try to make the focus of my life and i was talking about this in the last one it's because helping people makes helping people makes me feel good it's not like i'm some saint help but i'm doing this for selfish reasons i don't really give a fuck about you at all that's not true i genuinely love you i love everyone but i a part of why
00:31:18
Speaker
helping people i try to make that the focus of my life is because you feel good when you help people it's one of the safest bets in the world is if you help someone you will feel better about yourself and they benefit it's a win-win ladies and gentlemen it might even be a win-win-win everybody fucking wins it's a win-win-win-win-win up to how many people on earth there are it could be
00:31:50
Speaker
I don't know if that really makes sense, but it's like, if everyone operated like that, we would all win. You know what I mean? And a lot of people are losing. But to get back to this ego versus real confidence thing, it takes a lot of strength, and it takes a lot of bravery, and it takes a lot of courage.
00:32:18
Speaker
to say hey I'm not doing well I need some help and what's even it also just takes it takes strength it takes bravery it takes courage to accept help even if you don't have to ask like there were so many times where it's like my
00:32:42
Speaker
When I wasn't doing good, people would reach out and try to help me and I'd be like, nah, I feel like I have to... I wouldn't say that. I'd be like, nah, I'm good. I'm chillin'. And when I was not chillin', I was the opposite of chillin'. I was... ...strugglin'. I was struggling. And that's... This might be a tangent, but this is my fuckin' podcast.
00:33:13
Speaker
like rappers like 21 Savage if you're listening to this please don't kill me 21 Savage is probably listening to this so yo Savage like for real dude do not kill me but you're weak and I'll tell you why you think you're cool with all your guns and being a player you kinda are I won't lie to you but you're being weak and
00:33:37
Speaker
I read about you. One thing funny is how I read about you is that you brought a gun to a lunchbox, to school in a lunchbox. And that is wild man. And I don't know if I can say anything about you because that one thing I know about you tells me that our lives are so different. But at the end of the day, you're a human.
00:34:04
Speaker
And I'm a human. And you're weak. You hear that, Savage?
00:34:13
Speaker
you're weak because i read and not i i take it back savage dude i love you man savage man you're not weak but you're doing something that is weak i read about you and this is like every rapper story it's like one girl broke their heart and now they're just like all right no bitch is ever breaking my heart ever again i'm not gonna like i'm gonna act like i don't have feelings
00:34:43
Speaker
and savage I know I know you have feelings because you are a human and I am a human and I think all humans have feelings that was Christian Fitzgerald if you're listening I love you
00:35:05
Speaker
I genuinely love you. You're one of the people I'm talking about where it's like, I want to be more like this guy. And it's because you are the most genuine person I've ever met in my entire life. You might be the kindest person I've ever met in my entire life. And I forgot what I bring.
00:35:38
Speaker
Why was I telling 21 Savage that he was weak? Oh. Savage man. I know you're still listening. I know you too well. I know you like the back of my hand, Savage, so don't even play with me, bro. You got your heart broken and you said, I'm going to take my ball and go home. You gave up on love. You got hurt and you said, I can't get hurt ever again. And Savage,
00:36:10
Speaker
I gotta tell you something, man. I think part of the reason I hate that so much, giving up, is because I gave up. I gave up. When things got real hard for me, there was a while where it was just like, I stopped trying to live, and I was just trying to survive.
00:36:41
Speaker
And I don't blame myself because what I went through was incredibly hard on me. And I was doing the best I could. That's one of my mantras. Everyone is doing the best they can. And that is all you can do. And that's why I don't hate anyone. I think there is, and often times, I think almost 100% of the time, if someone like sucks, or it's like, everyone meets people and you're like, that person sucks.
00:37:11
Speaker
I, they're, they really push my buttons. And oftentimes, Christian said this, they can never, no one will ever hate them as much as they hate themselves.
Opportunities in Heartbreak and Resilience
00:37:25
Speaker
When people are miserable, and people have like, terrible personalities, it's because they're going through some shit.
00:37:34
Speaker
and i can savageman i know you've been through some shit and but i want i don't want you to give up on love because i think that is a recipe for disaster because i did it and it did not go well tone tone are you listening tone on god eh i don't even think savage says eh megan the stallion says eh eh
00:38:05
Speaker
And I also, I think at the end of the day, this is gonna be a mental health podcast. I don't wanna put myself in no box, but that is, it's important to remember why you're doing things. And this podcast is to help people. This podcast is to help you. And I'm not saying you need help, but I'm saying I think everyone needs help.
00:38:34
Speaker
I think everyone needs help and I think it takes a lot of strength. It takes a lot of strength because no one likes being vulnerable and I'll tell you why. It's because when you're vulnerable, there's a chance you get hurt and that's what the ego is so scared of, getting hurt.
00:38:59
Speaker
and I don't think I need to explain to you that that's like it makes sense nobody likes getting hurt it sucks but that doesn't mean you should just give up on some of the better parts of life like love they say when you go through a heartbreak you have a unique opportunity because when your heart breaks
00:39:32
Speaker
you have a unique opportunity for like accelerated growth and you can like change your whole life your heart broke your heart is I don't I like to think about it like your heart cracked and yeah when your heart cracks it hurts but I'll tell you something it's open it's open and when your heart is open
00:40:05
Speaker
it's open to change and that is why you have a unique opportunity about for some like accelerated growth you could change your whole life and you could change it for better and you could change it for worse it's your choice some people let a heartbreak ruin their whole life
00:40:34
Speaker
they give up and giving up is not the only way to let a heartbreak ruin your whole life well kinda it's the big one but you're gonna get through this actually I take that back I don't know that what I do know is you can get through this if you want to
00:41:08
Speaker
I'm not saying it's going to be easy. Certainly not saying it's not. It's going to be fun.
00:41:24
Speaker
But if you would like to, you could get through this. That's another thing I like to remember. It's kind of the sentiment. I'm just speaking corny quotes. But you've made it through 100% of your bad days. And humanity, we've had some rough moments. I don't think I need to remind you of any. You know the big ones.
00:41:55
Speaker
but let me tell you something we made it through every single one of them and we're still kicking I can't fully explain I can't fully understand how what makes humans so resilient and resilient for you idiots who don't
00:42:24
Speaker
It means, after all that, I can't even explain it. The essence of resilience, my understanding of resilience is the ability to bounce back. The ability to go through bad things and bounce back.
00:42:48
Speaker
That song is an overplayed song by Big Sean, but that message is so true, and that song is so good. Things only get overplayed because they're that good. And Sean, you did your thing on that song. Savage, you're weak. Savage, I know you're dirty ass to listen to me. I'm over here laughing at my own jokes. Yeah.
00:43:19
Speaker
Think I'm funny and I'm weird and I'm okay with that because you know what the opposite of weird is Boring and I'd rather be anything than boring boring sucks And I think I don't I don't even really want to dive into why people are boring Probably not doing what they love. I don't even need to dive in. It's just easy for me. I
00:43:48
Speaker
but you can't you can't give up and that's what I'm saying like I genuinely it's kind of like a radical belief um but I genuinely don't know if anything is inherently good or bad and it's really it's helped me a lot that's why I've said it probably nineteen times in two podcasts
00:44:17
Speaker
Like heartbreak. Most people would say that's a bad thing. One of the worst things that can happen to you. Oh you got your heart broken? I'm so sorry. You know what? I'm not. Savage you hear me? I'm not. You know why?
00:44:41
Speaker
because you're weak you're not weak savage dude I love you I am sorry well I don't know I am I don't wish I'm not happy that you're in pain but you have a unique opportunity if you get your heart broken and that's the way I choose to look at things
00:45:09
Speaker
Think I figured out life shit is kind of easy now I Think I'm gonna go back to the night for the ninth time to this ego verse confidence thing, but like when your Confidence is like
00:45:34
Speaker
Confident people will like tell you when they're insecure and most people are too insecure To even say that they're too ashamed. They're too scared of like looking weak and Like it takes a lot of courage to like share things that scare you and like Your vault that your vulnerabilities the things that like you don't like about yourself But it helps and it helps a lot and
00:46:04
Speaker
and i think just so much like everyone wants to be confident and the way you do it is by telling the truth i in my life have told i tell a lot of like white lies to just cause to save people from like my explanations because i am a weird guy like sometimes and i don't think it's the worst thing in the world
00:46:28
Speaker
but I think it is better to just like tell the truth you don't owe anyone an explanation for anything like if you're doing something weird a lot of people would be like don't want people to think they're weird so they lie like if you're doing some freaky shit and someone's like hey what you doing? hey I'm chilling while I was sleeping we know you little dirty ass wasn't sleeping but you lie because you're scared
00:46:57
Speaker
You lie because you're weak. You don't lie because you're weak. You lie out of weakness. Oftentimes. And yeah, maybe it's not the worst thing in the world. But like I said, I think it's better to tell the truth. Because when you tell your truth, you don't got to pretend and like lie. You shouldn't lie, especially to like your friends and family.
00:47:27
Speaker
this is a thing I did for a long time it's like if someone asked me to hang out and I want to hang out I think most I don't know about most I think a lot of people do this but like if someone asked me to hang out and I didn't want to hang out I'd be like I got too much homework when I didn't have any homework I just don't want to hang out and I'm scared that if I tell people that they'll be like
00:47:55
Speaker
I don't want to be your friend anymore. In my mind that's what I'm worried about and it's so irrational and I know it and that's why I'm talking about it because it helps. I don't think I did cut someone off and
00:48:13
Speaker
middle school or elementary school because they said they didn't want to hang out. And I was a real dumb kid. I said, I don't want to be friends with the kind of person that doesn't want to hang out with me. And it's because like it's not that they don't want to hang out with me ever. It's they don't want to hang out with you right now. And those are two extremely different things.
00:48:43
Speaker
you're gonna I like I literally cut someone off because they were in the mood to hang out with me and that's where you get in trouble using like extremes like that like rules rules are bad you gotta like you can't use one piece of information to like make a decision that's like should I eat
00:49:15
Speaker
should I eat a million cheeseburgers and the one if I used one one piece of information cheeseburgers are delicious then I could confidently say yes I should eat a million cheeseburgers but I think if I were to eat a million cheeseburgers it wouldn't be what's best for me it's because I didn't use all of the information at my disposal
00:49:46
Speaker
I'm someone who has struggled with indecisiveness and now I just look at the pros and the cons. I feel like a broken record and I think that's a fair judgment but it's like I say this stuff and I'm talking about this stuff because it helps me and I was talking a little bit about
00:50:12
Speaker
getting into trouble using extremes and the opposite of that is balance and moderation and variety and in this case using all the information you have. You gotta make a decision. If anyone watches How I Met Your Mother, Ted Mosby the main character is notorious for taking out a yellow legal pad and making a list of the pros and cons when he has to make a decision.
00:50:43
Speaker
And I see myself in Ted Mosby. For a while I wanted to be Ted Mosby. I was almost an architect because of how much I liked Ted Mosby. He went to Wesleyan and for a while I was like, I'm gonna go to Wesleyan and be an architect so I can just be the real life Ted Mosby.
00:51:04
Speaker
But that, I stopped going on that route because I looked at the pros and the cons. And a big con is I don't want to be Ted Mosby. I like Ted Mosby, but I don't want to be him. It took me a long, long time to get to where I'm at, but I don't want to be anyone else. I love being me.
Individuality and Personal Growth
00:51:33
Speaker
It took me an extremely long amount of time and the maximum amount of effort to get to that point. But I genuinely, I don't want to be anyone else. And you know why? Because like, I'm me. I have my own, I'm unique. I have like, there's reasons why I like the things I like. And I don't want to live my entire life trying to get the things that you like. You know why?
00:52:04
Speaker
because I don't like all the things you like and that's okay and that's why you gotta use like decisions are scary for me at least and they're scary because I don't want to make the wrong decision
00:52:27
Speaker
I'm terrified of making the wrong decision. I'm terrified of making a mistake. But guess what? 21 Savage. Mistakes are how you learn. Mistakes are genuine like they're
00:52:43
Speaker
that's what I'm saying about this whole no good or bad thing everyone thinks of mistakes people demonize the hell out of mistakes but that is how you learn and in my experience it's never too late to make something right if you want to make it right it can be complicated if it's like you really messed up but the only way
00:53:12
Speaker
to lose in this case winning would be making things right and losing would be failing to do so this another thing sounds corny maybe I'm just a corny guy and maybe that's okay but I didn't lose my train of thought give me a second
00:53:43
Speaker
this is getting ridiculous uh... maybe this is what was supposed to happen i was talking a big game earlier about if i don't remember clearly it wasn't that important and maybe i gotta live that's what i'm talking about like you gotta live
00:54:12
Speaker
You can't just like talk about things and not do them. You gotta do what you know is good for you. Living with intention. Hey 21 Savage. I know I was a little hard on you earlier.
00:54:36
Speaker
But you're not weak. You did a weak thing. You still might be doing a weak thing. And I don't know why I'm picking on you. I do because it's funny. And I know that you might not be listening to this podcast. You probably stopped listening when I called you weak because you're weak. But if you were. I tell you, I really like your music. And I tell you,
00:55:06
Speaker
I'm proud of you for doing what you love. You're making music. It's not easy to make music. It takes a lot of strength to make music because you're putting yourself out there. And there are people that don't like your music. You have to be okay with that. And I know it's been a while since we talked, Savage, but you seem like you're doing good.
00:55:28
Speaker
I know you had that whole scandal with people finding out you're from Britain. But it's certainly a lot better than what people are finding out about Drake. And I won't get into the Drake nonsense. And that's another thing I wanted to talk about. There's so many things I want to talk about, and that's why I started podcasting. One of them, oh my god, I remembered what I was talking about.
00:55:59
Speaker
Now I forgot again, I'm kidding. I don't want to be Ted Mosby. I don't think you should want to be like idols. It's like, I don't believe that that's really a good thing. You shouldn't worship any one person more than people in general. You know why? Cause everyone has flaws. I don't, I don't know.
00:56:27
Speaker
I don't know if I believe in the word flaws but everyone has like problems everyone has made mistakes it's like I'll be honest Kanye West is my favorite musician of all time and it's not even close Frank Ocean is up there but just blonde the rest of him I'll be honest
00:56:56
Speaker
I don't like that much. And Savage, you've had your hits. You're not actually up there for me. And that's okay. I think you're probably okay with that. And I'm scared it will make you not like me. But I know you're a little weak. I stopped listening 15 minutes ago, so I don't even care. But... See, the jokes? Maybe the jokes are the reason I keep getting distracted.
00:57:27
Speaker
If you're listening, tell me if you like the jokes. Maybe I'll put up a poll. Joke or no joke? Jokes are just... You know why I love jokes so much? I said this in the first episode, and it's so sad that I'm this deep, but you can't frown when you're laughing. When I'm laughing with my friends, that is when I am happiest.
00:57:56
Speaker
When I'm joking around, that is when I am happiest. And that really says a lot. And what it says is that like, I think you can, I in the past have gotten caught up with taking life too seriously. And one of the ways that I have gotten through all the shit I've been through is joking about it.
00:58:26
Speaker
I think there's a time and a place and there's no single rule for what jokes are good and what jokes are bad. You just got to use your judgment. Use all the, like every situation is different. But like when bad things happen, I'm the one making jokes and people laugh. And it's because it's the best way I've ever found to get through things.
00:58:58
Speaker
Because after something happens, say you didn't love the results of... I don't want to say that. Say someone... That's an extreme case. Say you got fired. I think this is a decent example. And if it's not, I can always change it later.
00:59:29
Speaker
Say you got fired. I will be the one where it's like tomorrow morning you'll be like, and you're sitting at home, and I'll be like, you're not gonna work? Knowing darn well that you got fired. And I hope you laugh. And I hope you laugh because the reason I'm trying to make you laugh is because I want you to smile.
00:59:56
Speaker
because every time you get done laughing about something that's messed up I instantly just come up every single time I'm like I'm gonna be alright I'm gonna be okay I don't really know why that happens but I know that it happens and I don't really need to know why
01:00:23
Speaker
but when you can joke about things when you can joke about yourself your flaws like people people love Pete Davidson Pete and all he does is self-deprecate he makes fun of himself and he's it makes him wildly likable he is rich and famous
01:00:48
Speaker
because of his ability to make self-deprecating jokes. And people love him for it. I love him for it.
01:01:00
Speaker
His movie King of Staten Island is one of my favorite movies of all time. And I see myself a lot in Pete Davidson because he's kind of like he's in the mental health world. I hope he's doing good. I went to his stand up show and he said one of the funnier jokes I've ever heard in my life. And he said it within the first two minutes of starting.
01:01:22
Speaker
He's like, I'm off drugs. And everyone was cheering. They're like, yeah, I'll go pee. He says, don't worry, I'll be back. And I still think about that.
01:01:39
Speaker
it was like his problems with addiction right i believe maybe i'm wrong pete you're probably listening too but maybe i'm wrong but it seems like that's the biggest problem in your life i know your dad died too and i'm sorry about that but
01:02:03
Speaker
I think it's my perception that your struggles with addiction are one of the bigger problems in your life and you're able to joke about it.
01:02:18
Speaker
And like I said before, every time I finish laughing, the following thought is, I'm gonna be okay. It's like those Drake memes, where it's like Drake the type of guy, Drake the type of guy to be like out with friends and be like, I needed this. I don't even know why I brought that up.
01:02:49
Speaker
I love those memes. And yeah, a lot of jokes aren't like nice. I make a lot of jokes that don't seem nice, but it's because I want you to laugh, because I want you to smile, and I want you to know that everything's gonna be okay. When you're dealing with something, when I'm dealing with something, it often feels like the world is going to end.
01:03:19
Speaker
When I, I literally, this is how, this is something that I've struggled with. I, I got into like a debatably like a panic attack. I don't really know the definition of a panic attack. And frankly, I don't really care, but I was pretty much having a panic attack because I had made myself so anxious over the fact that I couldn't come up with the perfect workout routine.
01:03:51
Speaker
because i was skiing on the weekends and that was messing up my whole thing and you know what that is? that is taking life too seriously and you know what gets me out of that? laughing and jokes and i want to be myself on this podcast i want to be myself in every area of my life
01:04:21
Speaker
And I don't think I would be being myself if I wasn't making jokes. Jokes are who I am. If I'm talking to people, I'm making jokes. I'm always making jokes. I love making jokes. I don't think there's anything I love more than making people laugh.
01:05:03
Speaker
What makes ask you? I think you should ask yourself tournament Savage and Pete Davidson. What do you love most in the world? Because I clearly am a big reflector. I am a thinker. I'm asking questions and there are benefits to that. And one of them is I understand myself.
01:05:28
Speaker
Very well. I don't understand myself completely and I never will. And that frustrates me a bit. But I'm starting to accept it. I don't think I need to understand myself completely. And maybe I will. I don't think you can understand life completely because it is wildly complicated. It took me years to feel like I have a grip on this thing called life.
01:05:58
Speaker
And I was texting my friend this the other day. I feel like life is like God giving you a piece of paper and a pen. And if you're not religious, I don't gotta bring him into this. It's like you get, maybe he didn't give it to you. Maybe, I don't know for sure if he's real. I think he is.
01:06:24
Speaker
And I don't even think it's a guy, but that's just how I Think about that's how I talk about him, and I don't even think it's a person I think it's more of like an energy if I were if you were to ask me hey Wes
01:06:38
Speaker
How do you think about God? I would say, I think about it like in energy. Taoism is the closest thing I have to a belief system. And the best way I can explain it is like, it's the force in Star Wars. It's inside everyone. It's inside all living things. And it doesn't, it doesn't
01:07:06
Speaker
It doesn't come find you, you need to find it. And you will also never be able to explain it. God is an idea in my mind and I hope you don't hate me. I hope you still want to be my friend if we don't think about it the same way.
Freedom and Mindfulness
01:07:28
Speaker
Life is like you get a piece of paper and a pen. And you're looking around, you're like, what am I supposed to write an essay? Am I supposed to draw something? And you hear crickets. You hear this. You hear this.
01:07:58
Speaker
and me personally I've spent years of my life looking around being like what the fuck am I supposed to do with this piece of paper and you hear this and now it has taken me 20 years
01:08:26
Speaker
to accept that I don't think anyone is going to tell me what to do with my piece of paper and I don't think that's a bad thing anymore you know why? because you can do whatever you want you can draw a beautiful picture
01:08:55
Speaker
You can draw an ugly picture if that's your cup of tea. You can write an essay. And I think the thing what you should do with your piece of paper is whatever the hell you want. Be yourself. Do what you want to do.
01:09:15
Speaker
And I think the reason we want to know what we're supposed to do with our piece of paper is because we're afraid that it's going to be graded, that we're being judged. And maybe we are, but maybe we're not.
01:09:41
Speaker
maybe life is just you get a piece of paper and you can do whatever the hell you want with it and you can be like that sucks what's the point and I did that for a long time wouldn't recommend but feel free to do that continue to do that what's the point this is like meaningless or you can be like I can do whatever I want
01:10:11
Speaker
another corny saying but life is what you make it and that you getting mad about someone like not telling you what to do with your piece of paper like you're getting mad that you have freedom you're getting mad that you have free will and that doesn't make a lot of sense to me
01:10:43
Speaker
and I think the reason we want to I said this before but it's like we want to know what we're supposed to do with our piece of paper because we don't want we're afraid of being that we're being judged and that's real scary we don't know and that's because we have no idea so many most people I feel seem like
01:11:16
Speaker
If you really think about life, like I have no idea what's going on. I have no idea what happens when I die. I would argue that you don't either. I have no clue. And that is probably just about the scariest thing in the world to me. I have no idea. I don't know what's going to happen. And that terrifies me.
01:11:52
Speaker
but I can't control that. As much as I'd like to, as much as I'd like to know, it would give me an insane amount of peace of mind, I think. But you know what else will give me peace of mind? Accepting that I'll never know. And if I sign
01:12:17
Speaker
Say Jesus comes back again and is like, yo, I'm him. Then I won't be any worse off for accepting that I might never know until it happens. But I'm going to choose to focus on what I can control, which is this life. And I got a piece of paper.
01:12:48
Speaker
and I don't know what I'm supposed to do with it but I'm starting to feel like I'm not supposed to do anything with it I can just do whatever the hell I want and what I want is to be happy and my current method for how to do that is to help other people
01:13:14
Speaker
Because when I help other people, it makes me feel good. I'm selfish. That's why I'm doing it. If I'm being honest, that's why I'm doing it. I do love you. I do want to help you, but I want to help you because I want to be happy. And maybe that makes me a selfish person, but I gotta look out for me. And I also just would love to live in a world where everyone
01:13:44
Speaker
was happy and everyone helped other people and everyone had help and all of those things would happen if everyone lived like that i'm starting to move away from having rules in my life because the reason i was coming up with rules was to uh... i was coming up with rules to try to control things and
01:14:14
Speaker
I've learned over and over and over again that I am not in control. I can't control everything in life. There's many, many things I can't control. I took this picture.
01:14:37
Speaker
I took this picture from a screenshot of something I saw on Instagram. I don't think this is like trademark or anything. Things you can't control. What other people think of me. That one hits home for me. Another thing you can't control. How other people feel.
01:15:07
Speaker
or their motives or what they say so a lot of this comes down to you can't control other people in my mind that's a good thing I wouldn't want to be able to control other people I don't want to play God I'm good with just controlling me I like my character in this game and controlling everyone would be a lot of work and
01:15:37
Speaker
I don't really want that work. I'm a selfish person. For now, I'm working on whatever. Other things you can't control are the beliefs and perception of others. I don't really know what that means. The beliefs and perceptions of others. You can't control other people's beliefs. Okay, another thing, just other people.
01:16:02
Speaker
um external situations and what happened around us that's also just pretty much mostly other people so right now you can't control other people how they feel anything about them you can only control and then you also can't control the past and the future
01:16:20
Speaker
And if you're listening to this podcast, I'm gonna stop apologizing for your being deep because one, it's who I am and I can't control if you don't like it. And if you don't like it, the cool thing is you don't have to listen and that probably means you're not listening.
01:16:40
Speaker
But something that is big for me and it's big, I think it could be big for you, is the past and the future do not exist. And I mean that in the most literal sense. They do not exist. It has never been yesterday. It has never been tomorrow. The past and the future are ideas. They're ideas that we make feel incredibly real.
01:17:10
Speaker
But it has always been and it will always be right now. I genuinely believe that time does not exist. Time is an idea. We use time as a tool to understand our existence. But like when you go, you're like, I'm going to have a great day tomorrow.
01:17:38
Speaker
When you wake up the next day, you're like, it's tomorrow. Well, yeah, some people do that, but you know, it's not tomorrow. It's still today. And it's not even really today. It's right now. The present moment is the only thing that really exists. And it's also the only place where happiness exists. I've spent years
01:18:10
Speaker
I'm not kidding years in my head I was existing in the real world but I wasn't really here I was in my head worrying about the past and the future and it did me there are good things came from it but I will tell you it was so unfun
01:18:41
Speaker
it was really hard and that's not comfortable for me to say but it was really fucking hard I felt like I was trapped in my mind
01:19:11
Speaker
and maybe you can relate maybe you can't but we know that it will never actually become tomorrow and yet we live our whole entire lives like that is not true I'm not saying don't look out for future Wes
01:19:40
Speaker
I'll never be future Wes and I need to be cognizant of that I'm always just gonna be Wes and I'm not saying just like to put myself down I don't think just was used correctly there because I love being Wes but it took me a long time to get here and I can't believe we made it this far
01:20:24
Speaker
And I genuinely, I'm telling, I don't know who's listening right now. Like you, the one, if anyone's listening right now, I don't know who you are. But I want to help you because I love you. Because I love everybody. And you could be like, yeah, Wes is saying that. He doesn't know who I am. And it might not be true, but it is true. You know why?
01:20:54
Speaker
because I love everybody. I'm making this podcast because I love everybody and I want to help everybody. You are included in that. And I am someone who has learned my lessons the hard way. But I'll tell you, when you learn something the hard way, the lesson sticks.
01:21:23
Speaker
When you put your hand on the stove and you get burnt, you know not to put your hand on the damn stove anymore. And that's how I've learned a lot of my lessons. For better or for worse, I didn't have a lot of common sense. And I think, I think it's because I'm always, not always, for a long time, I was trapped in my head.
01:21:55
Speaker
and there are a variety of ways to get out I think in general there's no one right way to do anything there's just things that will work and you pick the one you want to do the most and for me excuse me for me
01:22:23
Speaker
I'd like to talk about how much meditation has helped me. I have been meditating every day for 20 minutes for over a year. And not a lot of people do that.
01:22:45
Speaker
And I'm pretty proud of that. Not because not a lot of other people do it. I'm proud of it because it takes commitment. It takes discipline. As I'm saying this, this is probably the first day where it's 10, 20 PM right now. And I haven't meditated today and I'm, I think I've missed, I've missed less than five days in the past year, more than a year.
01:23:14
Speaker
the reason why I meditate is because the purpose I didn't make this up the purpose of meditation is it helps you stay in the present moment and it helps you realize a lot of things helps you realize that you are not your thoughts that's
01:23:40
Speaker
Another expression. I'm not even going to call it like, yes, it's corny because it's overplayed, but things only get overplayed, played out because they're that true. And you'll be like, yeah, that's true. I'm forgetting the expression.
01:24:02
Speaker
And I'm angry with myself that I keep forgetting things, but I think it'll be alright. Oh yeah, see I remember, everything's gonna be okay. The reason I meditate is a lot. I think it's probably, it's one of the best things that you can do, along with journaling, exercise, probably eating well.
01:24:28
Speaker
But the reason I meditate is because it helps me realize that I'm not my thoughts. I am not my thoughts. And I heard that and I was like, that's so true. And then, but I didn't really know what it meant. I was like, damn, that hits. When in reality I didn't understand
01:24:59
Speaker
But I tell you something, I do now. I've spent years of my life being afraid of life. And that fear, when you've lived that way for so long, in some ways it feels like
01:25:22
Speaker
not even it feels yeah i guess it feels like i'm i'm scared of because i don't know who i would be without fear and i know that doesn't make sense and i'm angry at myself that i
01:25:48
Speaker
a lot of my thoughts are irrational and that's why I meditate because I look at those thoughts and I don't get wrapped up in them I let them go and you get in I got in a lot of trouble
01:26:17
Speaker
in my life when I don't let things go when I can't brush things off when I get obsessed with trying to come up with the perfect workout routine like that matters I mean like working out matters but the perfect routine are you kidding me Wes? that doesn't exist everything has pros and everything has cons
01:26:46
Speaker
look at your options and pick the one you want to do the most and i got caught up trying to be perfect for a while it's still something i'm working on and yeah my life got better when i started working on myself but i'm never i'm always gonna have problems
01:27:09
Speaker
and I don't really believe in the word perfection. What's the definition? Perfection. Hold on. I don't have a clip guy yet, so I'm the clip guy. If anyone's listening and wants to be the clip guy, too bad 21 Savage and too bad Pete Davidson. You're not going to be my clip guy because I can do it myself. Um, yeah.
01:27:37
Speaker
the candid perfect the definition of perfection i'm like weirdly deep and i'm starting to love that about myself i used to hate it because i'd try to have conversations will be at a bar and i'll be like do you believe in love and i've literally i've been at tailgates and i asked people i didn't even know if they believed in god and that is tabu
01:28:06
Speaker
and taboo meaning that's not something you're allowed to ask people but I don't really believe in rules and I don't follow rules that I don't like
01:28:19
Speaker
The definition of perfection is the condition state or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects. And yeah, as I was just saying, I don't really believe in flaws. Flaws implies that something is inherently negative, which I really don't agree with. Say I had a tooth gap.
01:28:42
Speaker
I paid multiple thousands of dollars of money. Not a lot, not high thousands. I'm just gonna say it. I paid two. I paid two thousand dollars of my own money because I was so insecure about my tooth gap. The gap between my two front teeth.
01:29:00
Speaker
I've been at parties. I don't know why I want to make this a multiple time thing. I still remember I was at a party. It was a cookout. It was my friend's cookout. It was a fantastic cookout. And yeah. And this girl, I told her she didn't look like her Bitmoji. She got furious.
01:29:26
Speaker
She said well at least my teeth aren't I don't remember what she said exactly, but I remember how I felt and I knew she did it because she wanted to hurt me and it worked I Didn't let her know that it worked. I brushed it off. I laughed and No one knew how much it hurt me, but I I don't still think about it a lot, but I certainly remember it
01:29:55
Speaker
and I was very insecure about my tooth to gap. So insecure that I paid $2,000 to get Invisalign and get rid of it. And I don't really know how I feel about it completely. Paying $2,000, oh yeah, the reason I was talking about this is like,
01:30:23
Speaker
And then I also had people tell me they loved my tooth cat because it made me me. People were loving me because I was me. And I got rid of it to be like everyone else. And I genuinely I didn't like the way it looked.
01:30:45
Speaker
but I think there's an element of choice in that I chose to listen to the person who told me they didn't tell me but they made a joke trying to hurt me they wanted to hurt me and they pointed that out and I chose to let that be what I
01:31:12
Speaker
Let that I put so much value on that and I completely ignored the people that told me that they love my gap You see and I got rid of it, and I think it looks a lot better And that's the thing like life is complicated and
01:31:41
Speaker
and that's the thing there's a Good Will Hunting I don't think I need to explain that there's a movie where and there's a scene in it where it's like Robin Williams is talking to Will I watched that movie and I didn't even know that like I watched it and I didn't know the characters names after and his name is Will and the movie is named Good Will Hunting because his name is Will and I didn't put that together
01:32:12
Speaker
See, I believe I'm a very smart individual, but for some reason I stink at putting things together that are right in front of me. But he's talking about, and I'm okay with that. And that's a flaw that I'm choosing to accept instead of obsessing over trying to fix it in this case. And that means I am learning.
01:32:43
Speaker
but Robin Williams he says the things that make people weird what we tend to call imperfections or end up being things we love the most about people in this movie
01:32:59
Speaker
He says one of the favorite things about his late wife is that she would fart. And she would fart in her sleep. She fart in her sleep and she would wake up because it was that disruptive. And it's true. You love when you love people, you love the things that make them them. And those are like the things that are unique. My tooth gap.
01:33:29
Speaker
And that's the thing where it's like, if I go on a date with a girl and she's ripping ass, that's not a pro for me.
01:33:46
Speaker
Maybe it could be. It's definitely funny Farts are funny and farts will always be funny as long as you don't take them too serious Like it smells bad for a little bit And it's gross because I honestly think it's gross because people everyone else thinks it gross but I'm done I'm gonna be my own thinker and I kind of love fart like my friend farted this weekend and I laughed so hard and
01:34:15
Speaker
It's hard for it's really a bad thing. I don't think so. I think they could be. But my tooth gap and Robin Williams is late wife farting in her sleep. You end up when you love someone you love. You love the things that make them them. Even if those things are
01:34:41
Speaker
by most people's standards like flaws I don't believe in flaws because I've spent a lot of time hating how my tooth cap looked so much so I spent two thousand dollars to get rid of it and I don't really regret it
01:35:10
Speaker
Because I still, I hated how it looked. I thought it made me look dumb and stupid. And most people, they might have agreed. And that's why I got rid of it.
01:35:46
Speaker
and I love the way my smile looks now and I think that's what matters I didn't really it's about what you think of yourself
01:36:10
Speaker
Don't let what other people think, feel, or do. Do not let other people control how you live your life.
Authenticity and Hard Work
01:36:22
Speaker
Or do. But in my experience, it made me unhappy. And you can't please everybody.
01:36:38
Speaker
I've tried, I tried for years and I'm giving up. And I am so happy that I'm giving up because it is exhausting trying to be what everyone else wants you to be. When if you're just yourself, people will love you for you and it's a win-win.
01:37:10
Speaker
I don't really know how I feel like I love what I'm saying right now. I'm proud of the things that I'm saying. I'm also like resisting the urge to make jokes. It's because I genuinely have something I'm so passionate about that I don't want to interrupt it. I want you to hear what I'm saying because I hope that it will help you.
01:37:49
Speaker
and I don't know I've had like the urge not the urge but it's like I have the thought where it's like I could stop here but I like it's like you don't stop shooting when you're hot you don't leave the casino when the shots are falling when the chips are I don't know how to finish that expression when you have momentum you don't stop
01:38:18
Speaker
And I think the power of momentum, I've mentioned it a couple of times, I believe. At least for me. Once I had momentum, it was over. I just needed a little push. I believe like,
01:38:48
Speaker
and this is not an original I didn't come up with this I don't think I have come up with anything maybe I can't I invented cream cheese banana and I'm not gonna give you the recipe but it it's my brother's been asking me for the recipe for years
01:39:12
Speaker
It's like cream cheese. This is what I will tell you. It's like peanut butter banana. It's not that different. There's one switch I made. There's one switch I made that changed the game. And it's really good. I haven't eaten it in years, but if you really want the recipe, 21 Savage and Pete David's, then reach out and I'll think about it.
01:39:43
Speaker
but I believe in life I believe the way I've heard it is as I think it's like as above so below and the way things that work inside are how they work outside and so I I hear the
01:40:11
Speaker
Newton's laws of physics. An object in motion remains in motion unless acted by on an outside force. I think that's true for people, too. Because I lived it. And you can tell me that you disagree
01:40:38
Speaker
But that's one thing where you're not going to change my mind because I lived it. I found out the power of hard work. I fell in love and that led to me wanting to keep that love and I found out the power of hard work and I changed my whole entire life.
01:41:06
Speaker
And I can't believe that we made it this far. I didn't know if I was ever gonna figure it out. I was terrified. But I did it anyway.
01:41:46
Speaker
I'm sure you're noticing as you listen to this that I... I'm using silence is how I would put it. And I think silence has value. There is a part of me who still to this day is uncomfortable with silence. And... that's okay. But...
01:42:16
Speaker
because I want to grow so now I use silence I don't think I've said this but it's another one of my irrational loops that I think like if someone says something to me and I don't say something back I'm scared that they won't like me and I know that's irrational and I know it's not true
01:42:48
Speaker
Because I and when because of that, like, I just say shit to say shit. And I feel a lot of air. And I think in life. I know in life. That the more it's just like. It's how it works, that the more of something there is, the less valuable it is. It's like supply and demand.
01:43:15
Speaker
And I have friends who are quiet, I would call them quiet. And I respect the hell out of them. And every quiet person I've ever met, when they say something, it matters, like, you listen. And it's because when you talk less, your words matter more.
01:43:43
Speaker
And I also, it creates a lot of anxiety for me having to say something back all the time. Because I'm like, I have to say something and I'm worried. And I'm worried about saying the wrong thing. And it is exhausting. And frankly, I'm done. I'm giving up. I'm walking away and I feel good about it.
01:44:09
Speaker
And I am in the process of obtaining my master's and social work degree and they, my teachers have told me that you have to use silence because things, good things take time and sometimes they need a little time and space to like marinate, if you will.
01:44:37
Speaker
And it is a pretty cocky thought to think that I'm saying something so impactful that it needs a second. But that's what I believe and I'm not gonna pretend. I'm gonna keep it a buck. I have a couple of friends who they keep it real.
01:45:09
Speaker
and that's not me letting it marinate I was just thinking but they do not really lie and I respect the hell out of that if I ask them if they want to hang out and they don't want to hang out they would tell me that a quote that comes to mind is I do not have any problem keeping it real one of my best friends said that and it's true and him and another one
01:45:41
Speaker
I don't really want to name names, even though they're compliments because I don't know if you want to be mentioned in my podcast. I don't know if you want Pete Davidson and 21 Savage knowing all your business, so I am not going to say your name anymore. I know I've said some names.
01:46:02
Speaker
Started off my first podcast by saying I was in where I was in my friend's house. I said his name and I hope that he will forgive me and I have faith that he will you know why because if people like I'm so worried about doing all the wrong things because of people not liking me and like One not everyone has to like me and to like I
01:46:31
Speaker
your friends are your friends because they like you and they don't like you because you say something back when they say something to you they like you for you hopefully and genuinely I believe if they don't it's because you're not being yourself like I have a lot of people I hung out with years and I had a mask on
01:46:59
Speaker
I was not being myself I was being what I thought they wanted me to be I drove myself crazy because I don't know what you want me to be and I would it's a whole lot easier being me and I'm a whole lot happier being me I hope you like me but I I can't control that I can't control you if you don't like me like
01:47:30
Speaker
That's okay. I feel better than I have in a very long time. And I know I keep saying that. And I'm not going to apologize, because if you don't want to listen, you don't have to listen.
01:47:58
Speaker
You are in 100% in control of you. And I am in 100% control of me. And that's just the way it works. I think... Maybe you stop listening and that's okay. Maybe you keep listening and I'm glad you're here. But I have driven myself nonsense.
01:48:30
Speaker
Like worrying about because I'll never know what you think unless you tell me and that's the other thing Like if you make someone mad, they're probably gonna tell you So you don't need to try to read minds because I Can't read minds
01:48:54
Speaker
21 Savage and Pete Davidson, I know this is going to be a big blow for you guys, but I can't read minds. And I hope you guys still mess with me. But I can't control if you do or not. I'm just going to be me and hope for the best. That's all I can do.
01:49:30
Speaker
There's a silence in this room right now that I appreciate. It's peaceful, it's serene. And it's because my mind hasn't been this quiet in an extremely long time. Maybe ever. And I think silence has a lot of value.
01:50:00
Speaker
Sometimes silence can say more than words. I had a teacher where something really messed up happened and he was black and it
01:50:28
Speaker
something happened to a black kid and he was like did your other teachers tell you about this because it happened locally and we were like no and because he didn't say anything we just saw the look on his face and he didn't say nothing but we knew exactly how he felt
01:50:58
Speaker
Think the look on his face The disappointment we saw we never we might not have picked up on that if he had said something it probably wouldn't have Because we really pay attention That's the beauty of silence I think one of the beauties I Think I know for me I
01:51:28
Speaker
I'd do better when I'm less stimulated. I know it's weird by most people's standards, but sometimes I drive, I think older people do this a lot more than younger people, but I'll drive with no music, no podcasts, no nothing. I just drive.
01:51:53
Speaker
And it makes me feel a whole of a lot better. And I do that when things are too noisy in my mind. And it makes sense. It's like if you're always like listening to something or consuming something. Like that shit is in your head. It doesn't like just go through you. It stays with you a bit.
01:52:16
Speaker
And when you have so much stuff in your head, it gets real messy. It gets real, it's real hard to stay organized when there's too much stuff in your head. And that's why I was hanging out with my friends this weekend and it was a fantastic weekend. It reminded me.
01:52:36
Speaker
that I was taking life too serious and I just need to like, relax. I just need to have fun. If I focus on having fun, I will be good. That's not, that's not inherently true, but fun is important is what I'll walk it back to. But we were, our parents were right. It was always that damn phone.
01:53:06
Speaker
because time meditation is one way you can do this but just like driving and you're gonna think at least me I'm gonna think and it helps me like actually think through things instead of just like having an emotion and like moving on to the next tick-tock with like you need to process things that is I could not be
01:53:34
Speaker
more passionate like that is my that's what I want to tell the world because I I do a lot I've read multiple books read slash listen to multiple books on emotional intelligence and an aspect of that is accepting your emotions and
01:54:03
Speaker
not running away from them I spent years running away from my fears and it brought me nothing but tears I drank a lot of beers anyone that was near and then the next day I woke up and I went to Sears
01:54:26
Speaker
No, I spent years, see that the joke distracted me and now I have no idea what I was talking about. But I'm gonna think of it. I spent a lot of years running away for my emotions instead of just letting myself feel it. Like, and something not ideal happens to you.
01:54:58
Speaker
Yeah, I feel sad. And I never let myself be sad. I was, I have been in the past very hard on myself. And it is, I would not recommend it to my, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. And I don't even have enemies.
01:55:28
Speaker
but I didn't let myself and it was I was trying to protect myself I was doing what I thought would help me but it was quite the opposite it hurt me very bad
01:55:55
Speaker
That's the equivalent of 21 Savage getting his heart broken and saying, I am not doing that anymore. I was like, sad? I don't want to be sad. Why would I do that? But the thing is, if you don't let yourself be sad, the sadness stays. And if you do let yourself be sad, the sadness goes.
01:56:29
Speaker
And I spent, I spent, you know, like you might probably already know what I'm gonna say, I spent years trying to think my way out of things. And it, I was trying to think my way out of things that I could not change. When all I needed to do was accept how I felt about them. And it's not fun. I don't personally like being sad.
01:57:00
Speaker
But I'd rather be sad for however long I need to be sad and move on than like having that sadness linger for years.
01:57:29
Speaker
And that's... I'm gonna go... I'm gonna go where I want to go with this. That's what we should be learning in school.
Therapeutic Reflection and Simplicity
01:57:40
Speaker
that's what i needed to hear and i never heard and they will chance the rapper has a line says they ain't teaching taxes in school it doesn't even matter i was acting a fool and that is could not be more accurate for the way i felt because if they were teaching this stuff in school i wasn't listening my parents probably did tell me this and i didn't listen because i
01:58:10
Speaker
In the past, I've needed to learn things the hard way. So I don't know what the solution is, frankly. The good thing is no one's asking me. But I'm gonna think about it. And I'll probably let you know what I think.
01:58:40
Speaker
And one of the reasons I wanted to have a podcast is, and I don't know how you can, if you can sense how therapeutic this is for me, but I feel amazing right now. I feel at peace. I feel like I have found peace.
01:59:05
Speaker
and Code of the Friend has a lyric I love it's when everything you wanted you get it so like when you get everything you want then all you want is peace and that comes with a whole nother struggle homie ain't nothing free not that I was getting not that I've gotten everything I wanted
01:59:34
Speaker
But all I want, the only thing I've wanted, at least the main thing I've wanted for years, is peace. And finally, I'm holding it in my hand right now. Like, it feels that real. And I'm enjoying it. And talking through my problems,
02:00:04
Speaker
Reflections. Reflecting. That's what brings me peace. And I don't even know how long I've been talking. I just pressed record and I started to yappen. But I've lost track of time. And I believe I said this before.
02:00:31
Speaker
Find out what makes you lose track of time. Because when you lose track of time, it's like you're so in the moment that you stop worrying. For my brother, I believe that's fishing.
02:00:56
Speaker
My brother likes fly fishing more than I think anyone else likes anything else. And I think it's because he's told me like he just loves how he feels when he's fishing. I know that fishing makes him lose track of time. And I like to fish, but fishing does not make me lose track of time.
02:01:24
Speaker
and that's okay because this does and that's why I spend all of my time reflecting and it feels like such a weird thing to love but I love it and I don't mind that I love it because it brings me peace it makes sense I love it because it brings me peace
02:01:57
Speaker
And it makes life a lot more enjoyable. Like the whole reason people drink alcohol, the reason I drink alcohol is as a social lubricant. And that's because, and I'm not any better, I use it, but I drink it because it makes me not worry.
02:02:23
Speaker
But right now, I haven't had a lick of alcohol. In fact, I'm hungover. I drank yesterday, but I feel amazing. I feel at peace. And it's like, I'm in my friend's basement. It's 10.30 at night and I'm talking
02:02:52
Speaker
to no one. At least no one is listening right now. I hope people listen later but I can control that and frankly I do not care because I feel great and I am aware of what makes me feel great because I pay attention.
02:03:24
Speaker
probably ought I love that word I probably ought to go to bed soon and I hate the word should and I'll tell you why it should implies guilt should implies doing something you don't want to do most of the time I think it's like I should I should go to bed but I don't I'll tell you some I don't want to I want to keep talking forever
02:03:59
Speaker
and it's clearly excuse me it's clearly not because I want people to listen because no one is here right now there's that like children book where it's like
02:04:20
Speaker
There was not a sound. You couldn't even hear like a needle drop or something like that. Or you could hear a needle drop. And that's the level of silence I'm experiencing right now. And life is so much like easier when you can like, when you're not overwhelmed. And that's how I feel right now.
02:04:50
Speaker
And I genuinely, I want you to find the thing that makes you lose track of time. And I'm gonna be honest, I hope, I'm hoping this blows up and I could do this as a job full time. But even if it doesn't, I'm gonna keep doing it because I love it. I hope that happens but that's not the reason I'm doing it. I'm doing it because it brings me peace.
02:05:20
Speaker
and I pray that it's a success because I think I have some things that people could benefit from hearing and I would love to make this world a better place and I think this is a way I could do that but even if
02:05:45
Speaker
Like I genuinely think, I hope that I keep doing this, even if like, if four people listen, if four people, and I had my friend reach out, he's like, dude, I love what you were saying. And that meant the world to me.
02:06:09
Speaker
because it validates what I'm hoping is true, that I have some knowledge that I can help people with. Genuinely like you, whoever's listening right now, even if this is helping you, I'll keep doing it. And I'm not gonna say because it brings me peace again, because I know you've heard that enough, but it's the truth.
02:06:41
Speaker
and at the same time is getting late a girl just sent me a rose on hinged I don't like this you think it's easy being him all the time it is wow that made me feel really good and you know what else made me feel really good when my friend told me that it meant the world to me
02:07:11
Speaker
And I've had other people, I was making, I had this Instagram account called Wes reflects and I stopped doing it because I was getting too caught up in like trying to grow the account and make it something big.
02:07:26
Speaker
and I also didn't like how much effort it took to prepare like a video like I had to rehearse not like really rehearse but like I had to write out what I was gonna say and I felt like I was performing and I don't want to perform like this I can just yap I love yapping
02:07:46
Speaker
And I think it could help people. And I had, but yeah, so someone reached out to me. One of my, I used to work at a camp and a camper was a really cool kid. He reached out and he was like, yo, there's actually two of them.
02:08:06
Speaker
They were like, yo, we really rock with what you're doing. Keep going. And I did it. I stopped making videos in that account.
Embracing Struggle and Mortality
02:08:16
Speaker
And I knew I didn't know if I was going to stop forever. I didn't know. But I knew. And that's the thing. Like I didn't. I stumbled into this because I'm like trying things out. And I.
02:08:32
Speaker
If you're too, if you get caught up in like, what if it doesn't work? Like the Instagram account, it didn't work. I think like it got over a hundred followers. People liked it, but I, it didn't, it wasn't what's right for me. And then recently I just had a feeling I've always like love what Theo Vaughn does. He's like a comedian. He's a funny dude, but he, he's talking about his mental health struggles and not a lot of men do that.
02:09:04
Speaker
because it takes a lot of strength to be vulnerable because you don't know how other people are going to react and that's scary especially when you're really putting yourself out there which he does and he's had some moments like I can still picture I could play it in my mind right now like a clip of him saying like
02:09:24
Speaker
if nothing changes nothing changes and there's more like that he also said like without a struggle there is no story where it's like people hate that they have to battle through things but like would you want to watch a movie where the main character had to go through nothing that's boring
02:09:44
Speaker
Boring, I really don't like boring. I'd rather have anything else than boring, which is like I'll take the struggle. The struggle is what makes life beautiful. So many things like the opposite of what you would think. Death. Most people are scared of death. I'm almost scared of death. I think it's a good thing to be scared of. But it's the best teacher. If I'm worrying about anything, like the perfect workout plan,
02:10:14
Speaker
And I remember I'm gonna die, it immediately just is like, why would I worry so much about that? There's no matter what I do, I'm gonna die. And that's what like, I think that's what a lot of worrying comes from. It's like you're trying to be perfect forever, but forever, you don't get forever. You don't even know how much time you get, and that is terrifying.
02:10:45
Speaker
all you can do is like make the most of it that's why i like you there's no workout routine that's gonna have me live forever i don't think trust me i'm working on it but i think everything is cons and i'm gonna die so
02:11:14
Speaker
it just really it really what it does is it makes it crystal clear what matters because because you realize you have limited time and you shouldn't spend it worrying like if you knew you were gonna die tomorrow how would you spend tonight
02:11:47
Speaker
and whenever I use it as I use it a lot and it's not I didn't make this up there's an expression where it's called like momento mori I think it's like Italian it means like remember you will die and sometimes I'll be like I probably shouldn't drink tonight like I'm drinking is not the best thing in the world for you
02:12:10
Speaker
And, but, and like my friends would be like, yo, come drink with us. I'm like, no, it's not the best thing in the world for me. What? Who gives a shit? What? Like you're gonna, you're gonna die. Have some fun, man. You deserve it. You deserve to have fun because life is not easy. It's hard.
02:12:41
Speaker
but it's beautiful and it's worth it and I could give you one piece of advice I'd probably try to give you 20 but if you really said Wes listen man if you could give me one piece of advice what would it be? I would say
02:13:11
Speaker
Well, 21 Savage. See, every time I do that, I forget what I'm going to say. But I always remember, too. I would say cut yourself some slack, 21. Because you deserve it. You've been through a lot.
02:13:42
Speaker
There's no one, I don't believe that there's anyone in the world who isn't going through a lot. Like bad things happen daily.
Balancing Life's Challenges and Gratitude
02:13:58
Speaker
But a lot of good things happen too. And that's what I choose to focus on.
02:14:11
Speaker
my mom told me she said a lot of this my whole life growing up she's like life is about balance and it made me so angry I don't know if she always used it in the best way but she was right and another thing she was right about was um
02:14:52
Speaker
I don't remember. What was I talking about? Maybe that's where we end it. Because it'll be a reminder
02:15:20
Speaker
that if you don't remember how important could it have been and yeah I still want I want to remember I wish I remembered but I don't and I can't change that and I would love to keep talking but a bigger part of me is a little tired and I would also love to go to bed
02:15:52
Speaker
I think I'm going to do that. Genuinely, if you're still listening. It's hard for me to put into words how much that means to me. But I'd like to say thank you. And I hope what I'm saying is helping.
02:16:33
Speaker
And I love you. Peace.