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Fear is my biggest opp - Episode 3
16 Plays1 year ago
First episode with an actual mic! It's on now!
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Transcript
Podcast Beginnings and Naming
00:00:02
Speaker
test test one two good morning and welcome back to the podcast that does not have a name yet and it does not have a name because i don't want to force a name and i want to let it come to me because that's just kind of how i operate these days and i'm gonna be honest i'm a little
00:00:26
Speaker
I'm a little scared. I'm a little scared because the last two episodes of the podcast went really well. And I'm scared that this one will not hold up. But I'm going to do it anyway. Because that's also how I've been operating. And today I've decided to talk about something that may be a little taboo.
Spiritual Beliefs and Personal Growth
00:00:54
Speaker
And that is God.
00:00:57
Speaker
And I don't want this to be, well, I don't know. I didn't think this was going to be a spiritual podcast. I still don't really think that, but I'm a spiritual person and this podcast is going to be about what I want to share with the world.
00:01:13
Speaker
And this is something I want to share with you because of how much it helped me. I would not be sharing this with you if it did not help me a lot. And it has helped me an immeasurable amount.
00:01:31
Speaker
was an atheist for most of my life, I think. I would say younger, I don't really know, but during like high school, hardcore atheist. I thought people who believed in God were foolish, and I ended up being the foolish one.
00:01:52
Speaker
And I'm not saying you're foolish if you don't believe in God, but I'm saying ever since I started believing, my life has changed for the better, like exponentially. And I have no idea if it's Jesus, Buddha, a cloud. I have no idea.
00:02:23
Speaker
And to be honest, I do not care because I don't need to know for it to help me. And like I was talking a little bit about before on the other podcast, what I really believe is that if you believe in something, it has power. And that is true. I didn't believe in anything in high school and I did not receive any guidance.
00:02:52
Speaker
and now I have been believing in something and I have received I don't even know how to describe it and that's I think I read a little bit of Taoism and it's like there's a big part of the Tao which is kind of like the God in Taoism
00:03:14
Speaker
that can't be explained. And that is why I struggled, I grappled with that for years, trying to figure out how God works, if it was Jesus. And I struggled with that for so long because there's so many bad things happening. And I was like, why are you letting that happen? And I still don't understand it completely, but there's also a lot of good things happening.
00:03:41
Speaker
And what I will say is, like I was saying, it can't be explained with logic. And that's kind of how I operated for a long time. Strictly logic.
00:03:55
Speaker
But you, I did not feel the presence of a higher power until, and I heard this before, it's like you gotta, you gotta take
Risk-Taking and Life Changes
00:04:07
Speaker
a leap of faith. You gotta step over the edge of the cliff and you will, you will be caught. And I know that sounds a little woo woo, but in my experience it's,
00:04:23
Speaker
a lot true true and I don't mean like go to a cliff and take a step off I mean like take a chance do what do something you want to do but you haven't been doing because you're scared
00:04:41
Speaker
some of the best experiences of my life, including studying abroad. Like I knew very little people going on a going to Europe, going on a trip to Europe for six months. I didn't know anyone. And it worked out better than I could have ever imagined. I made some of my best friends there. And then I came home
00:05:06
Speaker
And I realized that I wanted, I didn't want a career in business. And I was terrified because I was three years into a business degree.
00:05:17
Speaker
But I explored my options. I found one that I was excited about and I went for it. And up to this point, it's been a fantastic decision because it's what I'm passionate about. And it is scary because the reason I was doing business is I was playing it safe. I wanted a job that would make me money.
00:05:42
Speaker
And now I'm getting a degree in social work to be a therapist and that is a lot less lucrative. And that's scary. But a quote I love, quote unquote, number one of the pod is going to be, the man who likes to walk will walk farther than the man who is walking to a destination. And
00:06:13
Speaker
In case you don't understand that, it's like if you're walking, it's like hiking. If you're hiking because you love to hike, you're going to hike. But if you're hiking to get to the top of a mountain, you might give up.
00:06:29
Speaker
And I believe that if you do something you're passionate about, you're more likely to succeed, even though it might not be as lucrative as a field. And then, so that, those are two examples. And then third is like, I moved to Colorado because, because I had a feeling.
Pursuing Dreams and Overcoming Fear
00:07:02
Speaker
And if high school me could hear I'm making major life decisions based off of feeling, he would think I'm a fool. And maybe I am, but I'll tell you every time I do something that scares me, but I do it because like it's something I want to do and I'm excited about it. It's worked out. Everything has always worked out and I'm the same is true for you.
00:07:33
Speaker
You've gone through a lot of bad things in your life and you're still here. You're still here. And I know, I don't know. For me, I know there has been a lot of times in my life where I really didn't know if it was going to work out. And that's terrifying. And this believing in God, all that it really is for me is taking a chance.
00:08:08
Speaker
number I don't even think this one's corny this one hits for me there is no glory and living small chasing your dreams this podcast is a dream for me that Instagram account I started is a dream for me I've done stand-up comedy twice because that was a dream for me and I'm doing these things because I
00:08:36
Speaker
When I'm not chasing a dream, my life is a hell of a lot less exciting. Hell of a lot less exciting. Because I'm not like,
00:09:02
Speaker
Excitement and fear are two sides of the same coin. It really just depends on you look at it how you look at it like say you want to Be a musician and A lot of for me at least and I know a lot of people's brains operate like this first thought is what if it doesn't work out? But homie what if it does?
00:09:30
Speaker
Thinking about even the possibility of this podcast becoming successful, it shivers my timbers. It ruffles my feathers. And that's why I'm doing it. And I don't know if it's going to work out. I started that Instagram account making like wannabe motivational videos and it didn't work out. Like I had a little momentum.
00:09:57
Speaker
But that was a case of me walking towards a destination. And the two podcast episodes I filmed before this, I started doing it and I had a blast. I'm already having fun. And I don't, you probably remember, I'm the one with the memory issue. But at the beginning of this episode, I said, I'm scared this one isn't gonna work. But I did it anyway and look.
00:10:26
Speaker
At least for me, I feel like it's going really well.
00:10:32
Speaker
And maybe I don't understand what God is, and I don't know if it'd be accurate to say I'm done trying, but I've definitely accepted that I'll never understand how he works. And I say he, but I don't think of it as a guy. I don't even think of it as a person. I think of it as like an energy that's inside all of us, and I think
00:10:59
Speaker
It doesn't come find you, you have to find it, but when you do, it is there for you and it is powerful beyond all measure. And so are you, because when you use it, you are powerful beyond all measure.
Living Intentionally and Finding Happiness
00:11:16
Speaker
And maybe it's just the power of gratitude. Maybe that's God. Like God's just an idea that I'm done trying to understand because I tried for years and I got nowhere. And the proof is in the pudding, ladies and gentlemen. Like I was saying before, the closest thing I have to proof is one, he's given me damn near everything I've ever prayed for. And number two, every time I've taken a chance,
00:11:46
Speaker
Maybe it's not even him. Maybe it's just because I believed in myself but I took a chance and it worked out. And it's terrifying taking big chances. I just moved to Colorado knowing no one. I'm here and I'm having a great time. I'm having a lot of fun enjoying the outdoors, the mountains, the hiking. Ski season's coming up and I'm extremely excited for that. I love
00:12:14
Speaker
And I, two reasons I love those things are it's like exercise with other people is just so, I love it. And it's like, it's healthy and it makes you feel good. And I think chasing dreams is the same way. And maybe you're listening and you're saying, Wes, I don't got no dreams.
00:12:39
Speaker
and maybe maybe you don't but there's a quote I think it's by Mark Cuban it's like if you don't know what you want to do start pursuing yourself because that's how my I don't know what I want to call it my growth my awakening
00:13:07
Speaker
My whatever, like the thing that started sophomore year of college where I started, it's when I started working hard. That's what start and that's the value of hard work. Hard work always pays off and it's not in the way, it's not always in the way you think it will.
00:13:29
Speaker
And what I mean by that is like I start, I tried to start an Instagram account and I was working hard and it didn't work out. It didn't feel like that's what I really wanted to do, but it got me closer to realizing what I did want to do.
00:13:45
Speaker
And working out in the gym made me feel better about myself. Working harder in the classroom made me feel better about myself. And if you work on yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, that's another thing. Biggest thing I've probably worked on is like emotional intelligence slash mindfulness. I've been like meditating every day for over a year and I've read books, multiple books on emotional intelligence and it's,
00:14:17
Speaker
it's been a blessing and maybe maybe it's not a blessing maybe it's just a good thing that happened to me but when you think of good things as blessings it makes you say thank you and there is a lot of power and gratitude
00:14:35
Speaker
Because I think I talked about this in the first or second episode, but it's like when something good happens, you can either say, I want some more, or you can say, man, I'm so grateful that I had this. And the latter in my experience is a lot more. It'll make your life a lot better.
00:15:02
Speaker
Cause when you always want more and more and more, you're never satisfied. It's never enough. Like people chase money, especially like people who have a lot of money. Like you can tell Patrick Mahomes, I don't know if you're listening, you probably are, but I see you in those like commercials and brother. I know you, I think you made upwards of $500 million on your NFL contract.
00:15:33
Speaker
Why are you doing an AT&T commercial? If that's what makes you happy, then good on you. But that's hard for me to believe. Like, filming commercials for AT&T? I don't know, man.
00:15:59
Speaker
I don't know if I was you and I'm not you but if I was you I would be spending time with my friends and family because that's that's what makes me happy and I know for a fact that making AT&T commercials would not make me happy so AT&T I don't know if you're listening you most likely are
00:16:28
Speaker
but I don't want to be in your commercials. Lululemon, on the other hand, if you want me to be in your commercials, I, in exchange for like free clothes, same goes for you Chipotle. We could work something out. Because I love y'all. And that's what it comes back to, like living with intention.
00:16:59
Speaker
Like I think it seems to me, maybe I'm wrong, but Patrick Mahomes and other like people who have more money than they would ever know what to do with are chasing fame. And the thing about chasing fame is like, it's never going to be enough. It's, you never like hit a benchmark and you're like, I'm famous enough.
00:17:23
Speaker
If you were really chasing that benchmark and the same thing is like with sports like Kobe Bryant, Tom Brady, some of the greatest athletes of all time. They had a never ending desire for championships and they got championships, but I think there's more to life than championships.
00:17:54
Speaker
Life is not all about winning, in my opinion. And life is what you make it. And their lives are all about winning. And that's okay. But at least for me, there's more to life than winning. There's more to life than being successful. And more importantly, there's more like, I think a lot of people are chasing
00:18:25
Speaker
other people's definitions of success. Like things like money.
00:18:38
Speaker
My understanding is that I just need enough of it to get by and money is not what makes you happy. And I looked these things up. I've done a lot of research on what makes you happy. And it wasn't money. And everyone says that. It's like money doesn't make you happy. Material objects don't make you happy. And I'll tell you what does. Let me find it because I was writing it in my notes app.
00:19:14
Speaker
Hold
Gratitude and its Impact
00:19:15
Speaker
on. I'm my own clip guy and you got to cut me a little slack.
00:19:41
Speaker
gosh darn it alright I don't know if I'm gonna be able to find it you want to know how weird I am I looked up purpose in my notes app and about 20 notes came up that's how much I think about purpose and that's because purpose I remember is one of the things that came up la ah god I really want to find this
00:20:19
Speaker
All right, I don't... Gosh darn it. All right, but the ones I remember are love slash connection, like purpose, friends, family, and that's kind of the same as connection. But it's not, it's not money. It's nothing that's like material. And it sounds corny, but I believe it's true.
00:20:56
Speaker
And people, you get caught up in chasing the things you know won't make you happy. And once you realize that, at least that's on you.
00:21:30
Speaker
I think the thing I want to talk about next is just more about the gratitude thing. And it's because every time when you think of good things that happen to you as blessings, like every time something good's happened to you, you say thank you and you're grateful for it. And then it also relates to like, if you're always looking
00:21:57
Speaker
And I think there's some power of when you recognize all the good things that happen to you, like you're more aware of all the good things that happen to you. And it works the other way too. If you focus on all the bad things that happen to you, it's the red car theory. That's what it is. And maybe that's all God is, I don't know.
00:22:29
Speaker
I don't think so but I really don't know and I'm okay with that but the red car theory is I think that's what it's called but like in day-to-day life you see hundreds of cars if not thousands on like a day-to-day basis and you don't really pay too much attention but then once you're in like in the market for a car you're like thinking about cars
00:22:59
Speaker
It's all you can see. Like I, I was in college, I totaled my car and I was like looking into what car to get next. And before that, I never really thought about Subaru's or noticed them ever, but I think I was going to get a Subaru and then that's all I saw. And that once again, just shows you.
00:23:29
Speaker
the power of what you focus on. And when I realized that, that maybe like, once I realized that it was up to me in a sense, because the things that have power or what I believe in and what I have focus on, I was terrified because that's a huge responsibility with a great power comes great responsibility, Spider-Man.
00:23:59
Speaker
And it took me a while, like that, that scared me and it kind of derailed me for a bit. Not in too bad of a way, but it was like, right now I'm getting back to just, like I am incredibly thankful for all the great people I have in my life. And honestly, that, a lot of that came from releasing the first episode of the podcast. I had a lot of people reach out and like saying like,
00:24:29
Speaker
Like even if you take the time to listen to this, like this is a dream of mine and you're supporting that. And I had people like reach out, I had people comment, people I look up to a lot comment on the Instagram post I made for saying I released a podcast episode. And that just like you're fueling my fire. You're making me want to chase my dreams and keep going.
00:24:56
Speaker
And like I said, I am a lot happier when I'm chasing a dream.
00:25:05
Speaker
But it's, for me at least, I was terrified when I realized that the world could be an awful place if I focused on the wrong things. But I also had years of experience knowing that, that that was the absolute truth. And now I have experience that it is the absolute truth, that it works the other way. And thank God for that.
00:25:36
Speaker
Yeah, God, devil, heaven, hell, I don't know. What I do know.
00:25:45
Speaker
is if you believe in God, your life, my life was immeasurably better. And I, like heaven and hell, I don't really, I never believed in that. I went to church growing up, not really by choice. It was like, hey, it's Christmas, get your nice clothes on, we're going to church. And I was like, ah, all right. But
00:26:16
Speaker
I like, even now, I do not, there's 0% of me that believes in like heaven and hell in the sense where it's like you die and you go up or down and you stay there for eternity based on the decisions you made on earth. And there is a variety, there are a plethora of reasons why I don't think that's true.
00:26:45
Speaker
Number one is life is hard. And I don't think God is like, Oh, you didn't succeed. Eternity in hell. Like, no, that's just, I don't think that's true. I just can't see that happening. Maybe it is, but I just.
Belief, Faith, and Intuition
00:27:09
Speaker
If I was a betting man, I would never put a penny on that. And I also kind of believe in heaven and hell on earth. I believe in heaven on earth and I believe in hell on earth. Oh. Oh yeah. I just remembered something I really wanted to talk about and I kind of forget, but just give me a second. Oh my God. It'll come back to me.
00:27:40
Speaker
I'll start talking about the heaven and hell on earth thing first. When I was really depressed and anxious, every day was a struggle. I don't think I was in hell per se, but at times it certainly felt like it.
00:28:05
Speaker
And now that I'm doing good, I just feel like I'm getting closer and closer to heaven on earth. I believe in more like enlightenment. And I think you get that through emotional intelligence, but the thing I really want to talk about is... I can't keep doing this. I have an hell on earth.
00:28:46
Speaker
sorry guys I wanna I wanna have a constant train of thought for y'all but that's just not the way the wind is blowing right now and there's not anything I can do about that so I can't really feel oh I remember I gotta say it before I forget I was in class I was in class and
00:29:10
Speaker
There was a girl and she said something, she shared something with the class that her dad said. And this hit home for me. She said, her father said to her when she was young and her father was a Hindu man and he said to her,
00:29:31
Speaker
I don't care if you believe in Hinduism. I don't know if that's the right term, but you know what I mean. Her father said to her, I don't care if you buy into the Hindu religion, but I pray to God that you believe in something so that you don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.
00:29:56
Speaker
I'm extremely happy I remembered that. And it's because it, that's what I was doing for years. I was carrying the weight of the world, was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders because I didn't believe in anything. When you believe like I do now that something is looking out for you,
00:30:22
Speaker
You don't have to, I can't describe how much peace of mind it brings you.
00:30:32
Speaker
Because if you don't believe that and you walk outside, like you have to be, there's so many things that could kill you instantly. You could get hit by a car. A plane could crash out of the sky. And some of those are more likely than others. But like, if you don't believe that something's looking out for you, like you always have to be worried about something. And that's where I was for a long time.
00:30:59
Speaker
And feel free to do that, but I would not recommend it. And also it's like, I, and this is my belief. It's not, maybe it's your belief, but it's definitely not guaranteed to be whoever's listening belief. Like I think there's power in what you believe. And so if you believe nothing's looking out for you, then maybe nothing will.
00:31:26
Speaker
But I believe that something is looking out for me and I can feel it. It feels true. And I never felt that way until I took that leap of faith. And this podcast for me is another leap of faith. I watched this video of Steve Harvey. And he's talking, the clip is called Jump. And he's um...
00:31:52
Speaker
It was right when family feud, I think finished taping. Maybe it was just a season. I don't know if it's still going, but it was at least like a season was ending and he didn't even know the cameras were still rolling, but he just started talking to the camera crew and the crowd. And I think he gave like a five minute speech and it was called jump. And that jump is kind of the leap of faith I'm talking about.
00:32:24
Speaker
And he believes, and I think I believe it too, that everyone in this world, me, you, Steve, we were all given gifts. And by gifts, I mean like things that we are good at. And I think purpose is finding out how to use your gift to help the world and make a little bit of money.
00:32:50
Speaker
make enough money to get by. And that purpose is what makes you happy, among other things like love. And that's why
00:33:06
Speaker
You shouldn't just do something you're good at because you're good at it. You gotta do, you gotta find the intersection between what you're good at and what you love doing. Because you are going to die. I'm gonna die.
00:33:34
Speaker
And at least I do not want to spend my time on Earth doing something that I don't love. Because that's all I got. All I got is this time on Earth. And it's terrifying chasing something big. But there is no glory, there is no honor in living small, and it will not make you happy.
00:34:04
Speaker
and I want you to be happy. I dream of a world where everyone is like doing something that they're good at and they love and it's just I can feel how much of a better place that would be.
Career Reflections and Intuition
00:34:34
Speaker
And I want to live in that world. And it's terrifying, especially if you're like, especially if you are
00:34:58
Speaker
Currently doing something that you don't love and I was there I didn't get all the way into the career part, but I got into The year after my junior year I was working for an investment firm Doing data analytics because I was good at it but I didn't give a rat's ass about whether or not I
00:35:28
Speaker
I didn't even I didn't care about that company at all. And to be honest, I don't really think that company cared about me. They were giving me money because I was doing something for them. But it's not even something I really wanted to do was doing it for the money.
00:35:49
Speaker
And I knew, I knew it in my bones. And that expression, it doesn't really make sense in my head, but it makes sense in my heart and it makes sense in my bones. I can feel it in my bones. That that is not what I was meant to be doing. And there was a chance that that's what I could have spent my whole life doing.
00:36:15
Speaker
but I couldn't do it and I'm so happy I couldn't do it because for whatever reason I knew that that would be a waste and I didn't
00:36:44
Speaker
And I spent a lot of time scared because at that point I didn't know what the hell else I could do. And that's a scary place to be.
00:37:04
Speaker
And you don't need to know right away. I think you just gotta start working on yourself and have faith that it'll come to you. Have faith that you were put on this earth for a reason. That's another thing I wanna talk about. Like so many, this whole, I, the core negative belief of anxiety and depression is what if I'm not good enough slash I'm not good enough. And it's like good enough for what?
00:37:35
Speaker
That's an important question to ask you because you can walk around, you can walk into a room, people warm full of people and it's like, what if I'm not good enough? Like good enough to talk to those people. Like you were invited to that place. That's not your decision. That's not your thing to worry about. And I think the bigger application of what if I'm not good enough is what if I'm not good enough for this life?
00:38:03
Speaker
and that is I had that negative core belief for a long time and man it is not fun because it leads to like a I was terrified by rejection because every rejection made me feel
00:38:25
Speaker
like that negative belief was true it validated that negative belief and because i was so terrified of rejection i stopped taking risks and that is no way to live because the best things in life are on the opposite side of fear
00:38:44
Speaker
Fear, like I talked about before, is how something lets you know that you care about something, that something is important to you. So if you're not doing things that scare you, you're not doing anything that you think is important or anything you care about, and that is a recipe for disaster.
00:39:05
Speaker
And another thing that I didn't choose to be born that I know of. So why am I worrying about if I am good enough for life? It's not up to me. I didn't make that decision. So why the hell would I worry about it? Someone else decided, whether that's on a real level, my parents,
00:39:36
Speaker
or on a higher level, like, God, like, either way, you did not ask to be brought into this world, I think. I don't know. Patrick Momes, I don't know. But I, that you know of, you didn't ask to be brought in this world, so stop worrying if you're good enough because it wasn't your decision.
00:40:06
Speaker
Your situation is that you're here and you can either make the most of it or you can waste it. And I would urge you to make the most of it because I think you'll be happier. And it's scary. I know it's scary.
00:40:37
Speaker
Doing something risky is scary, but guess what? You're gonna die. No matter what you do, you're not gonna make it out of this life alive. So you might as well do something that you actually care about. And if you fail, at least you fucking tried.
00:41:08
Speaker
You're gonna die anyway. And it honestly doesn't even matter if you make it or not because you went for it. There is no honor in being too scared to do something, but there is honor
00:41:30
Speaker
and giving it your all, especially if you don't know if you're gonna make it. Because that takes guts. That takes nuts. And I'm joking around but that is as true as it gets.
00:41:57
Speaker
What sets your soul on fire?
Habits and Personal Challenges
00:42:07
Speaker
What makes you lose track of time? What do you love?
00:42:20
Speaker
because I and I'm not talking about like five years ago I recently before I started doing this podcast which was less than a week ago but about a week ago I it was a it was a Sunday and
00:42:45
Speaker
I was sitting around the house and I was just watching a TV show and I was eating and eating and eating. And I was mad at myself for eating because I want I don't want to overeat. Like I was full and I just kept eating.
00:43:09
Speaker
And I remembered this clip from the Theo Vaughn podcast with Jordan Peterson, and he's talking about quitting drinking. And Jordan Peterson was a very, very smart man. He says, to quit drinking, you need to have something else that you like to do more. And that's tough because drinking is a lot of fun. And this is aimed at alcoholics, not people who don't have a problem.
00:43:41
Speaker
But the Yvonne had a problem. And in order to quit drinking, you need something better.
00:43:52
Speaker
And I was sitting around my house watching TV and eating because there was nothing better. Like it makes sense why I was doing that. Food is very tasty. It's delicious. At least it can be. And I was having some good snacks. And it was delicious. And it's like, yeah, it makes sense that if you're sitting around the house and there's food around, you're going to eat it.
00:44:20
Speaker
But if you were, if I had went out and like went skiing that day, I wouldn't be constantly eating because I'd be having fun skiing. You know what I mean? And I think that's the value of doing something that scared that scares you slash excites you. It's the same thing. The only difference is like,
00:44:49
Speaker
You get scared or excited when something is important to you. And the only difference is the question you ask yourself right after. It's what if I don't get it? But motherfucker, what if you do?
00:45:09
Speaker
David Goggins one of the most inspirational men on the planet. That's I think I got that from him It's like you start going for a run and you're like beating yourself up in your head. You're like, what if I don't make it? but just feel what you goes on in your body if you think what if I do and at least in my experience I get filled with like an excitement and an eagerness
00:45:40
Speaker
It fills me with fire. It fills me with motivation. And it really comes back to how you think about it. And I, for a while, I didn't think it was my choice what I believed in, but I no longer think that's true.
00:46:04
Speaker
And the way that you can make your beliefs a choice, it's like by acting, by backing up your beliefs with actions. And what I mean by that, an example would be like, say you want
00:46:38
Speaker
This is how I did it. I had a 30 hour drive from Boston to Denver when I was first moving out here. And I had a bit of a spiritual awakening in the car that I don't, I haven't really told many people about. I don't think I've told anyone about it fully, but I was like,
00:47:04
Speaker
I think I don't know if I got it from somewhere else or I thought it through myself but it's like it was kind of goes back to that like you got to take a step over the cliff to find out and
00:47:25
Speaker
Here's an example that just happened. I was just on the train and for many years in my life I wouldn't buy a ticket. I would just try to get away with not paying. But I want to believe in abundance and so I bought the train ticket because I have the money.
00:47:47
Speaker
And I believe, and I've built this belief through my actions like this, where it's like, I have enough money and I have faith that money's never going to really be an issue for me. So yeah, why wouldn't I pay the ticket? Why wouldn't I pay for the ticket? And that's what I mean. Like you, you, you can build a belief by stepping over the edge.
00:48:15
Speaker
And I know that sounds a little abstract, but it's like, it's the same thing as like, if you want to be a nicer person, do nice things and you will become a nicer person.
00:48:35
Speaker
Soon as you do a nice thing and you become just a nicer and nicer person the more you do if you want to become a faithful person act out of faith if you want to be a Mean person do mean things that's what defines us And that's why I think
00:49:03
Speaker
More things are a choice than I had previously thought, including what you believe. For years I didn't believe in God and I didn't think that was a choice. I just did it. But I changed that through my actions. I've read a lot of books that talk about the power of your thoughts, your beliefs, and your actions.
Identity and Personal Transformation
00:49:34
Speaker
And I think it's because those are the things that make up who you are. Like a good person is a person who does good things, actions. A nice person is a person who says nice things, words, and
00:50:01
Speaker
An anxious person is a person who has scared thoughts. And the more you buy into those scared thoughts, the more you have. But the more you defy them, you challenge them, the less you have. And that's the choice. And a lot of this
00:50:26
Speaker
a lot of when I realized this was a choice is when I started meditating because I realized I wasn't my thoughts and I got this it's there's a fantastic book called the untethered soul or it's like you are not your thoughts and I know I talked about this before but I'm gonna talk about it again it's like when you
00:50:52
Speaker
say you're walking down the street and you think like that person's ugly then you might be like guilty but you might feel guilty that you thought that but you didn't you didn't think that you in a sense you did but you didn't create that you didn't choose to think that
00:51:16
Speaker
you just you're the one that hears those thoughts and this is where i'm gonna go next because i want to in that book there's and i hope i explain this well but if not read the damn book not some podcaster who's on his third episode um but in the book it explains this very well through a thought experiment
00:51:42
Speaker
And I will do it on myself because there's no one else here. So I will be both people and hopefully it's not too confusing. If I were to ask myself, who, who are you? I would say I'm Wes Macmillan. And then the other person would say, no, that is your name. Who are you? And then I would say, um,
00:52:12
Speaker
My name's Wes. I was born in Massachusetts, and now I'm in school to become a therapist. And the other person would say, no, that is your name, where you're from, and what you're currently doing. Who are you? And I would say, I am a person
00:52:41
Speaker
I'm a kind person. I like to make other people laugh. I want the best for everyone. I struggle with anxiety and the other person would say, um, no, those are some of your traits.
00:53:04
Speaker
Who are you? And I would say, I don't fucking know. And I, and that's the point of the experiment. And like who, the person I'm talking to right now,
00:53:20
Speaker
like I know this is this can be a little scary and if you don't want to hear it turn it off but this helped me eventually at first it scared the living shit out of me but it helped me eventually and it's who you are the person who is hearing this Wes Macmillan's voice right now all you are is the observer of your thoughts
00:53:49
Speaker
your emotions. No, you're the one who experiences your thoughts, emotions, and experiences. And like the body you're in right now, that's not you. That is what you are in. And
00:54:20
Speaker
When I first heard this, I was driving in my car and I wanted to pull over because I was terrified. I don't know how you're feeling because I don't even know who you are. But I want to tell you that there is some good that comes from this realization. Because when you realize you're not your thoughts, you realize you can change them. And that can transform your whole entire reality.
00:54:53
Speaker
And a good example of this is like when you're driving, it's intrusive thoughts. Like sometimes you're driving and hopefully it doesn't happen to you a lot. It doesn't happen to me a lot, which I'm happy about. But it's like you're driving and it's like, what if I drove head on into that person who's driving the other way right now? And it's like, that's not you.
00:55:15
Speaker
Nobody knows where that shit came from. And it's certainly not you because you were like, where did that you had? You. You recognize, you acknowledge that that is like not who you are. That is not like you're not going to drive into someone head on because what if because you have values and you decide who you are and that's the beauty.
00:55:48
Speaker
And there's a couple of places I could go from here. But the place I am going to go is talking more about that you are the person who experiences your thoughts, emotions, and experiences.
00:56:19
Speaker
And one thing that that implies is like you are not the things that happened to you either. We let the past and the idea of the future control who we are, but that is not who you are. That is just something that happened to you. And I know
00:56:49
Speaker
There is things that have happened to me that have bounced around my brain and antagonized me for years. And it's hard to move past them, but the way I moved past them was like,
00:57:04
Speaker
say i was something embarrassing happened to me and embarrassing things happen have happened to me i this is what i was talking about with the emotional intelligence it's if you don't like just let yourself feel embarrassed like that's never going to go away and i was antagonized by embarrassing things that have happened to me in the past because i never let myself just be embarrassed and this is some
00:57:35
Speaker
I don't know if it's woo woo or whatever, but I read this in a book and I was like, this sounds weird. And it does sound weird and it is a little weird. It, how it works still boggles my mind, but I have a lot of good has come from it for me and that's why I want to share it with you. If you just like,
00:58:01
Speaker
So the next time you think of something embarrassing that happened to you, just accept it. You're like, yeah, that sucked. That was really embarrassing.
00:58:13
Speaker
and eventually if you just sit with that that's the best way I can put it if you sit with that emotion in this case it would be embarrassment that emotion that emotion will like run out picture is like a candle that's an embarrassment candle and sitting with it is the equivalent of like lighting it and once it runs out like
00:58:34
Speaker
You will no longer be bothered by that embarrassing thing and if it was something that like bothered you a lot that Changes your whole entire life Because you no longer let that define you and that's what I'm talking about like you gotta process things you can't run away from your emotions because it doesn't work and
00:59:12
Speaker
And I, like I'd said before, I, I tried to think my way. And if you don't accept an emotion, what I often did was like, I would try to think my way out of it. So like, say fear of death is something that bothered me for a extremely long time.
Mortality and Meaningful Living
00:59:37
Speaker
And I didn't ever just be like, man, death is a scary son of a bitch and just sit with that fear. I tried to think my way out of it and I could think in circles and circles and circles and there's no way to think your way past something that you can't change. You're going to die. I'm sorry. Well, I'm actually not sorry. One thing. Death is what makes life meaningful.
01:00:07
Speaker
If you didn't die, nothing would matter. And here is what I mean by that. Like if life went on forever, there would be no reason to go out, get out of bed because whatever you want to do, you could always do it tomorrow.
01:00:26
Speaker
But that is not the case because you only have so much time and you don't even know how much time you have. And all you can do is make the most of it. And remembering that, that you're going to die is what creates the motivation necessary to do the things that scare you. And the best things in life are on the opposite side of fear.
01:00:52
Speaker
and you can try to think your way out of death all you want but every person who has ever lived has died even Walt Disney his head is frozen somewhere but he's still dead and death is not a bad thing because like I said without it nothing would matter at all
01:01:22
Speaker
And I hope that makes sense. But I spent like once you just like let yourself be scared or embarrassed or angry or guilty, that candle is going to run out. And if it's something that's been bothering you for a long time, it could change your whole life.
01:01:55
Speaker
because it changed mine. But it's up to you. Nobody's gonna make you do things that you care about. Nobody is gonna make you start making the most out of your life. If you wanna waste it,
01:02:25
Speaker
Go ahead. No one is coming to save you. And that's another thing that might seem scary, but once you accept it, you can start living life how it's meant to be lived. I think that was about an hour.
01:02:55
Speaker
I'm really, I don't know where this podcast is going, but I like making it. And I think that's all I need to know. And if you're still listening from the bottom of my heart, I love you and I thank you for listening because this making this podcast is me chasing a dream.
01:03:25
Speaker
And chasing that dream makes my life more exciting and makes me a whole lot happier. And honestly, even I know I talked about this before, but like, even if this never blows up, I don't need this to blow up for that to be true because I'm still chasing it. It doesn't even matter if this blows up because I'm trying. I'm going for something.
01:03:56
Speaker
And that takes guts. So I want to thank you if you are listening. And even if you're not, because I don't really need you. And also the only way I will leave you with this
01:04:21
Speaker
The only way to lose is to give up. The only way to be a loser is to give up. If you go for something, you either get it or you die trying. And the only way to lose is by giving up. So if you're thinking about going for something, you're like, what if I don't get it? That doesn't matter.
01:04:52
Speaker
All that matters is that you go for it. Because that means something. And that takes courage. And hey, you might get it. You might not. But what if you did?