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EP 15: Alchemizing your deepest shame into your greatest source of power w/ Shoshanna Raven
22 Plays2 months ago
I’ve known Shoshanna for a little over five years. When I first spoke to her, she was just getting her business, Living Brave, off the ground. She fearlessly invited me into a new container she’d created, but I remember turning her down because I was knee-deep in my transformative healing and business journey.
Fast forward to now, and Shosh is my full-time coach and has built an empire generating 8 figures, and she’s not stopping any time soon. How did she get there? Shame slaying. Becoming completely vulnerable, sharing her story of herpes and finding the power through the pain, and then quantum leaping from profound chapter to chapter of her awe-inspiring life.
She’s definitely living a story worth telling, this is an episode you don’t wanna miss.
Connect with Dana HERE and Shoshanna HERE and tell them what you loved most about this episode and what resonated deeply.
**If you loved today's episode, remember to give this podcast a 5-star rating! You can quickly leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts by scrolling down on my show page, selecting a star rating, and tapping “Write a review.” This helps other modern-day healers discover the show, and your feedback helps me curate more content you love. Thank you for being so supportive!!
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Transcript
Introduction to Modern Day Healer Podcast
00:00:02
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the Modern Day Healer podcast. I'm your host, Dana Hayes, and I am so excited to share with you the stories, the trials, the tribulations, and most importantly, the triumphs of my own as well as many other successful modern day healers.
00:00:20
Speaker
We've gone all in to pursue our passion, to make an impact in the world by helping humans heal from the past and find true empowerment in their lives
00:00:37
Speaker
She is me and anyone else who feels a calling to help others heal, grow and share their light.
What Defines a Modern Day Healer?
00:00:44
Speaker
You could be a wife, a mother, a teacher, a writer, a speaker, a podcast host. You might be a workshop producer, a course creator.
00:00:54
Speaker
You're most likely an entrepreneur and can't shake the desire to make your calling your career because you know how much impact you could make if you went all in and had the opportunity to share your story with the world. That is a modern day healer.
00:01:11
Speaker
I am a podcast host, a co-author of an amazing book about the journey of sobriety, a wife, a mom of two young children, and the creator of the spiritual lifestyle brand, Living in Power. I am Dana and I am a modern day healer. I am so glad you're here. Let's get started.
00:01:39
Speaker
Okay.
Meet Shoshana Raven: Guest and Storyteller
00:01:40
Speaker
Hi Shoshana. Thank you so much for being here on the Living in Power podcast. I'm so excited to have you. I'm thrilled to be here. You're really one of those people that you just, like you said, you're, have the most.
00:01:53
Speaker
incredible guests in these beautiful conversations. And you're just so humble sometimes. It's like, of course you do. Of course they say yes to you. you know You're the common denominator. You're the one asking everyone. like It's so easy to say yes. I'm so honored and grateful to be here. Just a testament to who you are. And it's so cool to hear about the evolution and expansion of your podcast and everything coming through for you. So hello, you have landed on one of the most incredible up and coming podcasts on the internet.
00:02:24
Speaker
Thank you, Josh. That's amazing. I appreciate that more than you know. And actually, that like leads me right into what I want to talk about. you know Talk about the evolution of something. Me and you were just talking about how is really like the iteration of um ah the growth that I have been working towards my entire life, right? So like starting a podcast six years ago and it just wasn't quite like what I wanted it to be. and But I knew there was something bigger out there for me and like that I would eventually hopefully get to be in the realm of thought leaders like you and the other people who are coming onto this podcast but hadn't quite gotten there yet. I really, really want
00:03:07
Speaker
the audience to hear like your story because you have come so far and it seems like so fast. um And I would love to hear like where you started and obviously on social media, you are so vulnerable. Like with with your story, I'm gonna let you tell it, but um I would love to hear like how this all got started. Who was Shoshana Raven before now? And like, where did all this start and how did it come to be?
The Power of Vulnerability
00:03:38
Speaker
Yeah, I'm so happy to share and it's, it's wild. There's so much I could say, but the part about vulnerability, like it vulnerability is brave, right? To share something that feels a little edgy, that feels like you're bearing your soul a little bit. And so much of what I shared online, you know, I speak openly about general herpes. I speak openly about behind the scenes of my breakup, behind the scenes of my whole life, you know, who I was before living brave actually used.
00:04:06
Speaker
my real name, but Shoshana Raven is totally made up. Raven's not my last name. So just a permission slip to everyone. I was like, huh, there's something that's going to happen with this podcast. I had no intention to monetize it. I was just going to pop if I didn't start sharing creatively. I know so many people can probably resonate with that.
00:04:25
Speaker
feeling just like, oh, there has to be something more, even if you found the time, location, freedom, having a deep sense of purpose of like, oh, in your business, when you're sharing things that you would share, whether or not anyone was listening, when you're leading programs, that means so much to you. That's like the secret key because That's what keeps you going when you don't see the momentum. And that's also what keeps you going when you do see the momentum and people are like, okay, you know, past money and status. That's not the thing that's going to keep driving you to go through the inevitable scaling pains and challenges along the way. So I know exactly what you said there with from the beginning, like really learning from people who are steps ahead. And yet like having so much respect.
00:05:10
Speaker
for them, like exactly what you're talking about in the beginning. Like, gosh, I have so much respect for everyone who's on my show. I was reading something, every morning I sit down with my partner, we try. Every morning, most mornings, um we read we read Robert Greene, this book called The 365 Laws of Power. And one of my favorites was called The Only Shortcut. And it was about learning from the masters of the times. And it's it's not about positioning people above you, it's about respecting something above you. And in respecting it, you make yourself equal to it, you know, and you just,
00:05:46
Speaker
You humble yourself, you know, you learn, but you feel equal. And I think so many people judge people in leadership. So many people project onto people in leadership instead of looking at what are the most positive qualities about these people? Like, what does it really take? What are the reasons we're most similar, most the same? And how do I get really close to this person, respect them, learn from them?
00:06:08
Speaker
and see myself like as an equal, see myself as someone with equal power, but I just haven't done it yet. And therefore I have so much to learn. I think just immersing myself in learning and books, you know, before I even started coaching, you know, in travel and books and talking to people and meeting people and the podcasting is such a huge part of the journey that we can't skip. It's like the apprenticeship journey, right? And I think even as I've created my own programs and led you know thousands of clients and grown my platform. I've always stayed really committed to having a beginner's mindset and learning from people and really respecting people i am and trying to dismantle this hierarchy, you know even with my own clients and with my own mentors and inspirations and learning from people in different fields. so It's such a beautiful new paradigm of leadership as well. I mean, it's been mentorship and apprenticeship has been something for a long time, but we're so ingrained and taught to compete with each other and kind of judge each other and say we would have done it better. And it's just so humbling when you realize, ah, totally said, when I'm there, I'll do it different when I'm there, but we're not there. So we have no idea. So sit down, take notes and learn, you know?
Personal Growth Through Challenges
00:07:24
Speaker
Exactly. I love that. And also um like you're just talking about almost the initiation, right? There's like this initiation that I want to hear from you. Like what what was your initiation? I know what mine was and most of my audience knows what mine was as well. It was like the alcoholism. It was like going through this understanding that I had a choice. I had a decision to make and it was either I move forward and I make the choice to let go of the things that are holding me back and the fear and the you know not even like letting that go but learning how to be one with it and how to be one with all things and um you touched on a few different points just now that like in my head I'm like oh my god I just I want to like bring all of this together but the initiation
00:08:15
Speaker
that initiation. Can you speak more to that and like what you went through as an initiation, getting to where you are now? Yeah, absolutely. Well, there are so many points along your journey and I think that's one of the most humbling parts of life is that you're going to have many quote, rock bottoms. And you might feel like, Oh, I've been here before. And so many people spiral and beat themselves up. Like, Oh, I thought I got through this. Oh, I've been here before, but it's like, when you go revisit a new city, like, or an old city.
00:08:47
Speaker
you're not the same person. It's like I'm here again, but it's not the same place and you're not the same person. you know It's another level, it's another era. And I'd say one of my first big breakthroughs Gosh, there are so many, but what really inspired the podcast was I was traveling the world. I'd quit my job in New York in 2015. I was like a shell of myself. I remember looking up at the big tower KPMG. Can you imagine a KPMG in New York city in midtown Manhattan, just like crying, not wanting to come back from my lunch break, feeling like I'm 22. I'm a shell of myself. This is, I've been told that this is like the pinnacle of success. Stay here for two years and you can do everything. And yet.
00:09:26
Speaker
Every day, I feel like I'm not being utilized. like I feel like I'm just, my light is being dulled. I was addicted to Adderall. I was working 60 plus hours a week, drinking XL Dunkin Donuts coffee, like running to work every day, because I would wake up and sprint out the door. Talk about no morning routine. you know And I just felt so disconnected.
00:09:45
Speaker
from myself and I talk about it in the first episode of my podcast, but I really think it was a combination of so many events. So many of us hear about whisper, you know, like there's something more like stop, stop what you're doing. You're tired. You're exhausted. There's more to life.
00:10:02
Speaker
And thank God for the internet. And I was so inspired by social entrepreneurship and startups and like the people who are solving problems and offering solutions in new ways. Like I became obsessed with Airbnb. I wrote so many people on the Airbnb team, like love letters. I stalked people on LinkedIn, never got a job, but it's just like, I mean, there's more, you know? And so I actually started writing on the side. I mean, I would stay up until 3 AM. m There was no me getting paid for it. It was just like I found something. I told myself my whole life I wasn't creative, you know, and finally realizing like I actually have so much creativity pouring out of me. I would stay up until my eyes like.
00:10:43
Speaker
watered, you know, and needed to shut themselves. I had a blog called The Loopy Scoop where it was just loopy musings and I would interview people and it was like why animals are like humans and why yogi rage is so funny. And then I would also talk about like joy is medicine and emotional alchemy, like the same stuff I talk about now. I actually recently found the blog on the Wayback Web, like where you can research, you know, old websites, which is so fun.
00:11:09
Speaker
But from there, I just got the hit and the inspiration and the courage and the bravery. It was like, it is its scarier for me to wake up in this office 10 years down the road, having to reconcile that I didn't do what it took. And I didn't at least find out what could be possible if I took a risk and I took a chance.
00:11:30
Speaker
Like that feels like a scary reality than me taking a one-way ticket across the world by myself to India, a place where people are like, why the heck would you go there?
Transforming Vulnerability into Strength
00:11:38
Speaker
And I know it's so cliche traveling to India alone, but it's like, people think you're insane. You know, when I started with the yoga teacher training, which again is so cliche, cliches are cliche for a reason. It's a great idea. Someone had hundreds of years ago that was so good that people keep doing it. And so I'm in India, I'm traveling, I'm freelance writing. I got a job at Investopedia. So I was doing some freelance writing and I was doing some writing for some other blogs. And I realized I only had to make a couple hundred dollars a month to make this whole thing work. And I started working at work trade. So I was.
00:12:09
Speaker
doing yoga and working at the bar, um, in exchange for room and board and food. And then I was able to save all of my money that I made freelance writing, which was only a thousand or two, you know, a month, but I felt like I was living the life. And I had found a lot of conditional confidence and a lot of power and spirituality through yoga and meditation.
00:12:31
Speaker
And yet there's this beautiful part of my platform that's all about the human journey and like the deep shadows and shame that sometimes yoga, baseline yoga, like breathe in, you know, the the goodness and breathe out the bullshit. Like it doesn't really get to like, just be happy, good vibes only kind of energy. That's what I was in until I was in Nepal. This was 2017.
00:12:57
Speaker
And my world basically came crashing and burning. Like this whole, you know, young, digital, nomad, freelancer. I'm so confident. Like everything came crashing and burning. um I got really sick in Nepal. I was already feeling at times in your travels you realize that being grounded is so beautiful.
00:13:17
Speaker
and Travel actually just brings up all the same stuff that being at home does. So I was feeling a little lonely, a little disconnected. I got really sick. I had a 104 fever, nerve pain down my legs, like so confused. Um, I was working at a kid's center for an untouchable cast, um, children in Nepal. So people who the kids walk around collecting garbage and trash throughout the day, give it to the slumlord who in exchange gives them food and protection.
00:13:47
Speaker
And so I was working like a couple hours a day teaching English, playing games with these kids. It was already a really heightened emotional experience. And that's when, you know, I basically couldn't move. I remember this Biscuit Jotra New Year's celebration where everyone's in the town center, there are thousands of people.
00:14:03
Speaker
playing tug of war over a giant chariot. I mean, it's like otherworldly and I'm trying to hold myself up like, no, I'm fine. I'm fine. Like all myself off of my bodies, like there's something not okay. And, you know, I thought maybe this is like an STI or something. And so I was doing some research on my own. So I went and I got antibiotics for like $1, $2 down the street.
00:14:25
Speaker
ah fever kept getting worse. I was laying on this thin mattress listening to my bactioga playlist that was like probably $5 a night, you know, a French guest house. Just like, I'm gonna die here. You know, just like, please, like, listen to singing the mantras. Like, oh my gosh. Finally, the guest house owner is like, we need to take you to the hospital. I was so afraid. He's like, get on the motorbike. Like, I can't go on the motorpike like the bumpy roads like i feel like, you know, I'm not going on the motorbike. And he's like, okay, we're going to have to call an ambulance kind of just like get on the motorbike or else, you know, so I went to the hospital. I remember taking photos because it was like so different than it is at home. And the doctor told me like, well, it sounds like you have typhoid. And I was like, well, I have a typhoid shot.
00:15:14
Speaker
And it's not typo. He's like, well, then what do you think it is? And I'm like, uh, that's why I'm not the doctor, you know? And like trying to tell them about some of the women's health stuff. Like there's just water coming out of my vagina, like with no, like I've never experienced something like it. And I later realized it's a virus just like trying to cleanse you. But I'm just like telling him some of this. He's like, women sometimes just get stressed.
00:15:39
Speaker
And I remember feeling like rage. I just like cried, you know, like it was so distraught. I ended up going home to the guest house and realizing like I had seen some like cuts, like it's like before the breakout and I just Googled, did a Google search, came upon some really sad, you know, shame filled anonymous forums online about herpes and like I saw a message like, don't worry like the fever last five days and then the source common I'm like, Oh, my God, like this thing that I've been afraid of because it's so much stigma it's the brunt of every joke. You know my life is over, like I'm
00:16:21
Speaker
It was like every piece of shame, every like, what if like, I'm going to be alone forever. What if they find out about me? Like all the truth that I really thought about myself, like my worth as a woman, you know, all the conditional confidence just popped. I remember looking at photos of myself, seeing a different person like, Oh, you had a good run. You know, like it was never going to be like that good for you. And I cried and cried. And I remember that night there was a this hottie.
00:16:48
Speaker
Frenchman at dinner and every, all the girls were kind of like talking about him. I was like barely able to keep my head up. And the next day I'm in line for the shower at the hostel. He starts chatting me up. I'm like, actually i'm leaving in a couple of days. Cause I got a flight home immediately. I was supposed to track the Annapurna circuit, like, you know, just solidify a couple of years of solo travel about a flight home. Actually I'm leaving. He's like, Oh.
00:17:14
Speaker
Why? Like I'm sick. He's like, and it must be the pollution. And he's just like flirting with me and like, Oh God, I'm never going to be able to do this again. I go in my room. I just start crying hysterically. I hear a knock on my door. Open the door. It's the hot French guy. And he's like,
00:17:32
Speaker
Sorry, I missed your name. like sho he's like Okay. I just closed the door. So like such a victim to my life. I felt, I just felt like such a victim. And the thing is in life, like things happen and you might look at this and say, Oh, no big deal. Or you might look at this and say, Oh my gosh, that's my worst fear, you know, but whatever it is for you and why am I message and the podcast did so well? It's like, we're all walking around feeling like we have something to hide. if only they found
Building Connections Through Openness
00:18:00
Speaker
out. And the truth is this experience and the vulnerability project I did after, which was do the opposite, instead of presenting this like the victim and hiding it, how about you present this? Like I'm so freaking proud of myself. And I'm actually really grateful this happened to me because it showed me all the bullshit I believed about myself. It has nothing to do with who I am as a person. And if this could help one person, like I'm here for it. And so like every secret that you have, like it's okay to hold things private.
00:18:27
Speaker
But everything you're holding is a secret because what if they found out, Oh my gosh, this will make me disgusting and dirty and less lovable and less desirable. Go share that with the world. Watch. That's the reason people fall in love with you. I decided to do that instead, you know, and no one will make you wrong for your shame. No one will make you wrong for feeling bad about yourself. I felt bad about myself for so long. You need to go through that cycle.
00:18:52
Speaker
You know, but thank God for me, it's something like genital herpes, which one in two women will have an STI before at age 25. One in four New Yorkers has genital herpes. So every time I would tell the story with my sob and my tears and my snot feeling like a victim and I would hear, yep, I've had it for 20 years and.
00:19:09
Speaker
I'm in love and this and this and this. And I'd be like, oh my God, I can't be a victim anymore. Oh my God. So I started playing with it. You know, I started playing with telling my Uber drivers like, Hey, two truths and a lie of a double uterus. I have HSV and I have brothers. And it's like, I don't have brothers, you know, and people got a kick out of it. And people started trying to make out with me when I would tell them, and people would say, I don't know, this is crazy, but you're kind of more of about us. And I'm like, there's something here. You know, there's really something here.
00:19:36
Speaker
And that's where Living Brave started was the vulnerability project and realizing that your shame can really be the source of your power. If you decide that you're going to let go of the comfort of being a victim and you're going to see possibly that everything you touch can turn to gold, that everything that happens to you, you can make a 180 from. Like you can stay where you are. There's going to be, no one's going to make you wrong for it.
00:20:00
Speaker
But you can always pick yourself back up. You decide you're the hero of your story and you decide to be a map for others who have never seen someone alchemize this, move through this in the way that you have. Then you find true connection because you're no longer hiding. It's like we can't find true intimacy when I'm only showing you 90% of who I am. It's like when I'm able to really accept and love myself and then you help me do that. Like when I would have these conversations in the beginning, even with some of the men,
00:20:29
Speaker
Who I was so terrified would think I was dirty and disgusting. Now the guy that I didn't tell when I was about to throw up, you know, like my hands behind my head, he's like, you need to sit down and I'm like, ah, no, I'm telling you right here, right now. Like I didn't tell you, you know, we dated, we saw each other for two months. I fell into another low when I got to Denver. This was when I decided I was going to launch the podcast and realize I had unresolved shame and trauma around HSV. And I ended up telling him.
00:20:58
Speaker
You know what he did? He was like, thank you so much. I'm so, and he starts apologizing to me. I'm like, what? And he gives me the biggest hug and he texts me. And it's like the first time I felt a real hug from him. And I realized I was using him. I was undervaluing myself. He never saw me as just an object and a girl he dated. Like I saw him as that. And he actually wants to be my friend. He texts me on the way home. Like, Hey, I just want you to know I love you. Thank you. I'm so proud of you. Let's hang out again. I'm like,
00:21:28
Speaker
It's the first time I was feeling real connection in my life. Cause I was really being myself and then being myself, I gave people permission to say, well, here's this vulnerable story about me. Well, here's who I really am. And, uh, it was so good. And I know you're like nodding cause it's like, yeah, it feels like you felt this, you know, kind of journey, you know, probably in sharing and these kinds of rock bottoms. The thing about why I love the coaching industry and the transformational industries and personal growth industries. And I actually have someone.
00:21:58
Speaker
that I love. I think it's called the sweet life. She is a sober mom and she has a sober mom platform. She's like, listen, I don't have a depths and despair, like total rock bottom story. I just realized through hearing other people, like this isn't serving me and I don't need to get there to grow. And I think at some point in my journey realizing like I can grow from great, like I can grow from thriving. Like that's where I reach this like limitlessness and learning from each other. So I know so many of us have like the rock bottom stories and many rock bottoms. And like, how cool that you can listen to our stories, you know, and realize like,
00:22:33
Speaker
Oh, I don't, I don't even have to get there. Like, thank God I'm listening to this right now.
Expressing Your True Self
00:22:38
Speaker
Cause if this ever happens to me, I don't have to feel like my life is over. I can just say, Oh, I remember that woman, you know, and what she went through and there I collapsed time around it. And I can go fit as much life and joy and creativity and connection as I can in this life by collapsing time, you know, by learning from people, by learning their stories. So it's really important you share yours. Cause if you could save just one life, isn't it worth it?
00:23:03
Speaker
You know, and the last thing I'll say, I wanna give you the mic is like, gosh, we're so afraid sometimes about the people we're gonna lose when we express ourselves and when we share our truth. But what I've been really thinking on lately is like, it's not about the people you lose, it's about the people that you never meet. Like it's about the people you miss. Why, what does it say about the relationship with ourselves? If we're willing to be half of ourselves, 99% of ourselves, a little bit smaller,
00:23:33
Speaker
Hidden to keep people around. It's like, if my relationship with myself is so good, my time with myself is so great and I see myself and I love myself, why would I keep anybody around who isn't here for me fully thriving and fully celebrating? The thing is some people aren't yet powerful enough, brave enough, strong enough to be around someone super powerful and in their shine.
00:23:53
Speaker
It makes them question themselves. It makes them wobble. And we just hope that those people go on a journey, which they will, you can trust. Where they're in a similar position, they come back and they're like, oh my gosh, whoa, I needed some time. And how beautiful is it to see people in their power that much where it's like, they'll come around, give space to rise to meet you. And when you let go and you release and you shed an old identity and you allow yourself to express your truth,
00:24:21
Speaker
You create void, you create space. And that's sticky because it's unknown. You don't know. All you know, all you have is a light of your intuition that this is the right direction. and Every time I've gone through that life, death, rebirth cycle, things have
Guidance Beyond the Ego
00:24:36
Speaker
dropped away. People have dropped away. Space has been made. But when I look around and I see the partner that I have now and I see the friends that I have now and I see the clients that I have now and the mentors that I have now and the beautiful people in my community like you, I have now it's like, gosh, it's just, there's only room for it to keep getting better and better and better. And I'm so happy. And I went through some of those really challenging, uncomfortable spots that I still meet every single day.
00:25:00
Speaker
you know, to continue to grow. Wow. yeah There are so many things I want to speak to from what you just said. But of course, I will try to narrow this down. um I can relate to literally every single thing you just said. um And I love the fact that you just said that you don't actually have to have like this rock bottom that everybody else um is so
00:25:34
Speaker
I don't even know how to put the words to it. Like here here's a little piece of my story that hopefully will help this come together. But I, for example, like when I am in the circles of sobriety that I that i have found myself within, um I find that there are so many stories of people who have hit these rock bottoms that are so low. And it's almost as if,
00:26:01
Speaker
My story is not low enough. There's always like this piece of shame. No matter where you start, there's always going to be that like glimmer of shame because you're comparing yourself to other people's stories and what they've gone through. And and almost like ahs it's almost as if my my rock bottom wasn't um It's not like it wasn't low enough, but it feels like it was so high that I don't you know i almost want to keep myself a little bit guarded in front of those circles um to protect to protect the people who are like in sobriety with me so that they don't feel as if I'm
00:26:48
Speaker
I don't know exactly how to articulate that, but you hit the nail on the head with the whole like, you don't have to be as, you don't have to have that like rock bottom that everyone else is talking about all the time. You can start with being good, you know? And it, for me, it was like the same. It was like, I just realized, oh my God, I don't have to live this way. And actually, if I open myself up to be who I really am and start shining in that way and stop like, like I'm talking about, you know, thinking about what other people are thinking about me and, and really go forward with this feeling of um of light, right? and And just being who I really am and following that light and continuously following that glimmer, no matter where it's going and and truly following it, like just saying, you know what, I'm gonna trust and rely on this thing instead of what my ego, I guess, that I was following before, it has taken me to,
00:27:41
Speaker
um these these highs and lows but like whatever it's taken me to this life that I could have never created using my mind alone this tool that has the power to like bring forth and manifest what my higher self like this bigger purpose has always wanted to through me using me as a vehicle um and I kind of want to ask you like do you feel like you are following something bigger than yourself. And like that's what's made your mission so incredibly powerful. Oh, absolutely. First, I just love you. I feel like I have to tell you. I'm just like, oh my gosh, yes. Thank you for also being vulnerable and like real about this inclination to like,
00:28:34
Speaker
Not again, it's like, I won't let myself shine because I'm protecting people who maybe have it worse. And it's like, we're not helping anyone. It's like, I don't want to be like, you can't. get poor enough to help poor people. Like it's like you can't, what are you protecting people's victimhood? Like that you're not allowed to just, things come naturally to you that you're not allowed to have had. Like that's why I want more people. Like I have a whole reel about the war on happy people, but I'm like, I've been in really powerful circles with really amazing women who have been through so much. And yet they feel like they're going to be burned at the stake. They talk about how their birth journey was like blissful or how their mother heard journey is like.
00:29:16
Speaker
actually really amazing sometimes. And I saw one of my friends, Megan, and post something yesterday. Like to be honest, it's harder to talk. It's easier to talk about how hard motherhood is, but like these moments where I'm just so happy to be a mom, like it's almost harder to share this. I'm like, yes, I know it is. And like, we just can't share a good thing these days without saying like, and here's a photo of me crying. I also struggle. It's like, we know we're all human, you know? pain and struggle is all part of it, and it's all relative. like Let's stop comparing ourselves to others, but stop comparing if like you're worthy enough to you know have what you have and to be happy, because did you struggle enough? And we're all judging other people. like Yeah, well, she had this. Well, she had this. It's like, let's just celebrate each other. Let's stop protecting people's victimhood. Let's stop protecting people's smallness. And let's really just be maps for each other, because I know that I wouldn't have the goals that I have now.
00:30:09
Speaker
I wouldn't have the dreams that I have now. And therefore the results I have now, because who on earth was like, I have a goal to have a hundred K a month. I felt like a so crazy person even saying it, you know? And once I said it, I opened up this pathway for myself that it was possible. Like you can't create it unless you can dream it, right? I mean, sometimes things blindside you and it's wild, but it's like, usually you have to say, huh, this would be, this would be insane. But like, I'm just going to touch it for a second.
00:30:35
Speaker
And I usually, it's like I wouldn't have these ideas without seeing other people do it and say, hey, you don't have to sacrifice
Living with Purpose and Mission
00:30:43
Speaker
for it. Hey, like parts of it, yes, they're hard work. You have to put in the work, but it's possible for you. And it's possible for me doing it organically in a heart-led way, being my quirky self. And I'm like, what? Like there are moments where I've just, my world has exploded through other people shining.
00:30:58
Speaker
You know, so I'm such a huge proponent. Again, like I'm magnetized to those women's message about you don't have to hit rock bottom to go on a sobriety journey. And like, there's so many people who resonate with that message who no longer really relate to the rags to riches story or the deep pain.
00:31:15
Speaker
to purpose, it's like, can we just, we could, you could have a whole platform on, for people who feel like their story's not good enough and help them heal that and grow through that, you know? So that's so big. and Do I feel like I've been following something greater than myself? Absolutely. I feel like whether you say universe or God or source or this like divine wisdom within yourself, which is all the same thing to me. It's like, there is a God like mission.
00:31:44
Speaker
You know, ah that is within, there's an individual unique coding within each and every person. You know, as a kid, your likes and your dislikes and your inclinations, so many times society's schooling, it just guides you to be like everybody else. You forget, maybe you loved art or for me, like I hate a gym class, stop making me go to gym class. You know, but like, I love certain things over time. And like, i've all my quirks and my my unique coding, it's like my unique life path.
00:32:13
Speaker
that once I choose it, I still have to go through the initiations and the schooling, you know, and it's, it doesn't always come naturally. It's like the alchemist, you know, you go through all of the trials that lock in, you know, all the teachings to help you get to the next level. And then you go on a journey, a journey and journey in yourself. And then the journey of contribution, the journey within yourself and then you, the journey of contribution. And so there's so much, but if you really recognize like,
00:32:38
Speaker
You know, we know nothing, truly. Like, we know so little, but all I know is that, like, it feels really good to be of service. It feels really good to be expressed. It feels really good to lead my programs and to be in connection with people and to build community and to help de-stigmatize taboos and talk about the things that have been under the rug.
00:33:03
Speaker
this is my life path, but for some people it's like being the best possible hairdresser they can be and lighting up somebody's day and like being excellent at their craft and being like a therapist to everybody who comes in and then they go and they spread that light and that love to everybody in their communities. It could be like you develop this movement that's you're like, oh my gosh, it's so much bigger than money. It's so much bigger than business. This is about like your Dharma. I'm thinking about one of my clients last night, you know, like it's about your spiritual path. I'm like, that's amazing.
00:33:33
Speaker
That's amazing. you're You're for those kinds of people and there are other people who they're just like, my thing is like this, when I feel so alive and so good and so on my purpose, like I feel like this is my thing.
00:33:46
Speaker
When I talk about financial liberation, there are people like me who it's like, it's everything. It's growth is the whole person. It's human connection. And so it's just being on that journey of exploring what makes you feel like you forget time, what within your unique calling, which I feel like it's a God like mission is the power to go through the ups and the downs is the perseverance is the will, you know, it's like, there's.
00:34:12
Speaker
If you feel like you don't have the strength, you're like, uh, you know, you're not finding that capability to push through. It could be like the inner critic and the fear and all of that, but it just could be like, it's not the thing. It's the thing that they're telling you you should do. It's the thing that you think is going to make you money, give you status. So it's just continuing to explore and find something that it's like, truly I'd be talking about this. Like I get joy and pleasure from just a simple act of sharing this and continuing to learn and be a student.
00:34:42
Speaker
So I absolutely feel like I'm following something bigger than myself. And I feel like God within my purpose is within living brave. It's like me and my connection to something greater is like personified in living brave. And the version of me that leads living brave, it's like, okay, if this like divine intelligence was always guiding me, you know, if And I've thought many times, like, if my clients could see behind the scenes, but sometimes people are like, what if God could see me? Like, what if I'm always being watched? What if I'm always being protected? And like, what am I proud of? You know, and that's honestly how I live. It's like, with this living brave is like this God-like energy of like, how can I stay committed to my path?
00:35:28
Speaker
And so I'm always grateful for living brave. When I go through my human stuff, when I go through the challenges and initiations, I don't feel like I'm using it as a place to distract or a place to numb. I also don't feel like, oh, how could I show up right now? Because it's not a business. It's like a God-like mission and movement. It holds me in my eyes. It's my connection to the truest thing within me.
00:35:52
Speaker
And so that's why I'm like, Oh, when I have my, you know, going through my heartbreak about two years ago, like crying for a seven hours straight, like in fetal position, feeling like they've done studies, like it feels like you broke your leg when you go through heartbreak. It's like, Oh my gosh, thank God I have living brave because when I'm coaching, when I'm mentoring, when I'm in my purpose, when I'm creating, I feel my power again. I feel like there's something that I always have that nothing could ever take from me.
00:36:20
Speaker
And I'm so grateful for that. It holds me. It holds me in my human. Yeah. And that's, that's how we keep going through the ups and the downs. You know, that's a real life purpose. It holds us through our highs and it holds us through our lows.
Aligning Business with Higher Purpose
00:36:33
Speaker
Yes, it's that supportive energy and I love everything you just said because you know you were even like backing up a little bit you were talking about your when you were first diagnosed and um that that guy was talking to you and you were having that moment of like Oh my God. Actually it was when the guy was texting you and saying, Hey, like I, but what was he saying? He was just embracing you and and telling us like, I love you. Yes. But you realize in that moment that actually like you might've been using him. And it's like, for me, I was finding myself worth in other people, in my business, in these things where and it actually never was. And so my first business, simple, stupid marketing, which is literally like the dark side of
00:37:22
Speaker
of my business now, which is living in power. And it's like, oh my God, it's so funny to look at that iteration of of myself and my business because there was no power in that. I was giving my power to it. And so actually the alcoholism, and I assume the herpes diagnosis, these things are, in my opinion and in my experience,
00:37:43
Speaker
the alcoholism was actually like the pivotal moment in my life where I finally had the realization that there's I could have a connection to something so much bigger than myself and that's where I learned to connect with that power and then like you're saying it's like it then becomes personified through everything that I do as long as I choose like you're talking about those morning routines to take that action and to connect and to really like hold on and and find find the mission, find the purpose, find the light through that, as opposed to um through external things, including your business, which is ultimately, in my opinion and my experience, the absolute fastest way to burnout. So it's like when you can find your business as another vessel, vessel as you know what I mean? Like it's another extension of your
00:38:38
Speaker
of your being, of your light, um that's when it ultimately is able to become this supportive um arm, right? Where like that power is really just another, it's another, you know, I'm like thinking of income streams, it's like a power stream. It's like, it's another one coming to you and and then and then therefore you're getting built up and you're filling your cup and you're able to give more. And that's my next point with you is you are like,
00:39:07
Speaker
the queen of organic growth. And so people watch you and they're like, how does this woman like, how is there so much energetic output all of the time or seemingly so? And like, what I would ask you is, is that all a, um is that all a manifestation of this power coming through you and through your business and through the other streams? Or is that also does it have to do with support you know and strategy? what What is more important or are they both the same? like Is it this? Yeah, I love this. I feel like here's the thing. I can't stop with ideas. like Even when you're asking me, like I'm like, yeah, but I really should do this new program.
00:39:55
Speaker
like I'm just like this is it like how does she do so much with one full-time employee like it's like how and I was just traveling in Asia for seven weeks you know I was just in a wedding in Thailand I will like I was snowboarding every single day in Japan and did I say did I around the five-week mark I was like okay, on that capacity, like, I'm ready to go create, like, you know, okay, I have time for family, I have time for friends, like, I'm totally immersed in my environment, there's some travel logistics, my business is sprinkled throughout, because it's a backdrop of my life, like, self-care, my relationship, and I'm like, okay, this, this, this, and then after like five weeks, I'm like, okay, I want to focus more, but we're like changing hotels, we went to like 12 different places, you know, so, so hearing you now, it's like, there are times where
00:40:47
Speaker
Okay. There's so much practice. Things become like second nature. So it's like the first time that I ran my EBA program, which was my empowered business accelerator, my first ever group program. I was like, I needed another week to launch this. You know, I was doing nothing else. It was COVID. So I was like home just working on my business.
00:41:07
Speaker
I needed, I had like three weeks to launch it. I did my first like big class or over a hundred people that signed up, which was insane. You know, I had like 2000 followers on Instagram, all family and friends. I was like, what the heck? I remember people were locked out of the Facebook group. I thought like it was the end of the world. You know, then I realized this happens at every level. Like when you think you have zoom plus and then the room only fits a hundred people and no one can get in like stuff like that. And you're just like, you feel like it's the end. And then you go to your mastermind. and Everyone's like that happened to me. That happened to me. That happened to me. You're like,
00:41:34
Speaker
okay you know so like oh part of this scaling thing and team thing is I've got to loosen up and I've got to realize that humans are there's no one that's coming to save you like there's no like system and and like back end structure and like team member who's gonna like just make this so easy so all you do like is just everything runs on autopilot i get it when people talk about like working less and 15 hours a week and stuff but it's also problematic when you're working with someone who's like i'm gonna be there as your mentor and boxer and then you realize their whole mo is to work as little as possible
00:42:10
Speaker
And every, every master that I've ever met and every coach I've ever worked with, even if they've found a beautiful way to have their weekends or have their days and have their spaciousness and do what they love in their business, they're committed. What you don't see is that like their whole life is about their mission.
00:42:25
Speaker
And for some people, that's like, not it. But for me, it's like, if you see me at the dinner table, I'm having an amazing time with my partner, my friends, but I'm like talking about personal development sometimes, you know, like, it's not like, what's the next strategy? How can we get to the next 100K? It's just like, the stuff is like what I love. I remember my partner saw one of my my evolution class because he like somehow he put in his email and he clicked on like the middle and he's like, you really do just to talk about what we talk about. I'm like, yeah, you know, like so, so much of it is like a mesh, you know, in actually being on zoom and working on my business, there are certain things that I've done. I really might do like a class or an immersion on this that like the time that I'm on, like I can pick up and travel and I don't have like a ton of calls. That said, I have seasons where I feel like it.
00:43:11
Speaker
I'm like, I have space. Let me open up some VIP intensives. Let me open up another, you know, a spot here or there. Oh, I could do a program next week. But everyone I've ever learned from it, like the intent, mostly from people I've chosen to work with, isn't like work the least as possible, just having options. So it's never like retirement is not the goal. It's, I want to have a life where I have options, where if I want to go make films and support myself forever, I can. If I want to,
00:43:40
Speaker
Keep being a speaker and a mentor. I can, you know, I think the intent for all of us is to have options. I don't want to need to be tied to my computer for 10 hours, eight hours on zoom, especially working with clients. I don't want to work with or talking about things they don't want to talk about, but I've really built a business where I'm really lit up about what I'm sharing. I have a business model that works. I do have a team that does work, even though it's very lean and simple. I have structures that are lean and simple and work. I have a sales system.
00:44:07
Speaker
That requires no sales calls, no sales team, no clunky system. I don't have support coaches. Like I have set it up structurally. I have set it up. I have strategy and i'm I've done the strategy so many times. I've worked with thousands of clients that the strategy comes more like, Oh yeah, we do this and this and this.
00:44:22
Speaker
I have a team that the culture is where we work at a self-paced, a fast-paced startup. So if I have an idea, they execute on it. I know so many of my peers, so many of my clients who have given the CEO a role over to their team and the team slows them down and talks them down. And it's like, you've just got to maintain like this visionary power. And I also have the option in my business where I don't have to, I think sometimes people look at me. They're like, Oh, but I couldn't launch that many times. And that's why she has this business. But the truth is like,
00:44:51
Speaker
80% of income and revenue will come from the high, like the close proximity mastermind one-to-one. They could just have a very simple business, but I love, like part of my mission is a long-term mission. So even there are some months where I could open up some one-to-ones or open up mastermind seats and revenue numbers would be bigger, but I'm looking to build something for my lifetime. I'm looking to build reach. I'm really, really.
00:45:16
Speaker
Um, concerned with impact and reach. And so that's why I have a $30 offer this month that has like 500 people in it, where I'm literally offering trainings and behind the scenes in my process every day. But I even said this morning, like I'm kind of.
00:45:29
Speaker
a genius or a psycho, I don't know. Like i I made this thing last night, like it took me 15 minutes, you know, but it was like, it literally took me, that literally took me like 15 minutes. I'm like, what is wrong with me? And I said like, this took me 15 minutes. And Christian was like, yeah, but it's also taking you three years. And I was like, okay, yeah, like this stuff comes second nature to me. It was something like all the different content content types you need.
00:45:53
Speaker
to not bore your audience, you know, with just sales because I'm doing a sales challenge and I'm realizing like some of these ladies need to spruce up the in between, you know, the behind the scenes of their life, you know, who they are and and different types of content that help people decide they're the one they want to work with. But those things like don't take so long because first I'm not a perfectionist.
00:46:13
Speaker
So I'm not overthinking, I think less, I execute quick and it's both strategy, energetics, emotions, mindset. There's so many ways that it works like this, but there's also the option to really simplify. And you know, in January and February, I, I launched programs that were self-paced that I've already done that are amazing. Did a couple of bonus calls. So especially cause I don't have a lot of close proximity clients, you'll find like 24 hours is actually a lot and most of business, especially in the first years is like, just learning how to do things. You know, when you drive a car the first time and you're like, how do people do this? I can't even imagine texting while I'm driving this thing. This is like the scariest thing ever, you know, like what are people doing? And now you could probably drive with a blindfold on and get home, you know, so that's part of it. And then there are definitely structures, systems, intentional strategy, things that you can help
00:47:11
Speaker
You know, to, to help you scale and we'll absolutely be changing and growing evolving as we continue to grow. But I just think focus on where you are and like one step, five steps ahead.
00:47:23
Speaker
And but where, where you're going is so far beyond your mind's capacity. Like you said, your mind's capacity to dream. That's why I never do vision boards. It's like, I had an income goal of $4,000 a month in March, 2020. I'm not setting goals. I'm just going to focus on who I am every single day and put on, you know, shoes that fit me today instead of trying to, just because some people know they're going to make millions. It's like, Anne, you don't have to charge what I'm charging right now. Start somewhere and then grow and grow and grow and grow, work on,
00:47:51
Speaker
Your skills work on your excellency at your delivery work on your marketing and your sales, of course, and you'll keep raising your prices and you'll keep finding new ways to do things and maybe even creating your own way. Yes, to all of it.
00:48:07
Speaker
it's like you know coming from the person who waited an entire year to get my driver's license like I was so scared I was so scared to do the thing and ultimately I think that for me now the experience like the continuous experience the practice is what keeps me like um I'm growing and actually doing more, but I could never have done more back before I had that first experience, which was the one where I'm connecting to something bigger. And of course, like this is a living in power ah podcast. So I'm like always thinking about that higher power because it truly for me is like connecting to that has always allowed me to, well, ever since I did anyway,
00:48:54
Speaker
has allowed me to actually grow as opposed to like do, do, do, and not actually see any any um any sort of fulfilling growth. It was all kind of like this mismanaged um vision board limited, um my like just just very, very surface ideas of what success was going to look like for me. And like I said, having that, I had this like filter on everything which was my vision board and I haven't actually ever said this out loud but I too do not have a vision board because I felt that it really actually limited my opportunities and my growth because I don't know what lies out there for me. It's so much bigger than me.
00:49:43
Speaker
So I just get to be the vessel for this thing and I get to move forward working on myself every single day. um And that ultimately is what is has allowed me to like sustain and to continue to grow and to actually make money and to make a career out of this. But the last question I'm going to ask you is like for the people who maybe haven't yet had that experience because and the experience i'm talking about again is that connection right that like connective peace with that greater source of power, um it can be really really discouraging because you feel like.
00:50:21
Speaker
You are, you're, you're trying to build a business. You're trying to build a business and you can't, you're not, you're not getting to where you want to be and you have bills to pay and you have this and that. And would you say to that person, I'm wondering what your thoughts on this are, but would you say to that person, like the goal here is to keep the vision is to like recognize how infinite you really are and understanding that no matter what, like Even if it doesn't like happen in this lifetime, the way that you had always hoped it would like quote, right? Like attachment to the external. It's like, if it doesn't happen that way, it doesn't make it wrong and continue to follow that thing. though No matter what, cause it's not just about the business, the money. Yeah, absolutely. Like who here has ever felt like something happened to you that you thought was the worst thing ever and ended up
00:51:18
Speaker
sending you in the right direction. You know, so I think part of it is like, I know nothing. And, you know, I have these ideas about what's great for me, but I'm trusting in something. I'm trusting in life. And I think another part is like, we don't need to talk ourselves down so much. You know, someone's like, it's okay if it doesn't happen, I'm happy. But it's like, if you have a desire,
00:51:37
Speaker
Water that desire, feed that desire, feel into that desire. But the difference is like when you always feel lack until you get that thing versus like committing to the process and seeing the joy and beauty and abundance in your life right now. And then deciding like I get to be turned on and and excited about what's possible for me, rather than feeling like in thought there's always lack.
00:52:00
Speaker
You know, it's like, Oh, right now I feel so good. How much better could it get, you know, like, Oh my gosh, how much better get this relationship, get this business, get like how much more full could my life get? And I'm already so connected to the truth of like life is abundant.
00:52:15
Speaker
I'm happy, I'm joyful. Cause if the whole way we're feeling lack, feeling like it's not enough, well, then the milestone always changes because that's the way desire works. You always get where you're going. You feel gratitude and then you want more. And that's like feminine business, you know, like your desire. That's why it's like, we're always wanting more. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just realizing like, if you're feeling lack and then you get the thing and you just want more and then you feel lack, it's like, ah, feeling like really connected to now and then still,
00:52:42
Speaker
tapping into a desire. And that's like the life force of the universe. Yes. Thank you. Thank you for all of your insight, Shosh. And hey, before we go, and just off the top of your head, if there was one book today that you would say, hey, pick this book up and just read it, what what would that book be? And I know I didn't prepare you for that question. Yeah, I love that. You know, one book. Mm hmm.
00:53:12
Speaker
That's a toughie. I love women who run with the wolves. I would say for anyone interested in like feminine lifestyle and then connecting back to your wild, like this is a very good book. Women who run with the wolves. Okay, perfect. And I love that book too. it is a It's magical, really. It's so good. It's another vessel of light. It really is.
00:53:34
Speaker
Awesome. Well, thank you so much for your time today, Shosh. I know this is going to be beyond valuable for the listeners. And this is like, this was everything I could have ever hoped it was going to be a more. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm so grateful to be here and don't hesitate to reach out, find me on Instagram. It's my name with a little underscore Shoshana underscore Raven and tag us like you're listening to Dana's podcast. She does this. Like it's a free platform. Reshare it. Give her a.
00:54:03
Speaker
rating, a review, let us know you're listening. I will reshare it. She will reshare it. And yeah, we're just so happy that you're here. Awesome. Thanks, Josh.