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EP 25: Showing up powerfully in the face of real life sh*t & toxic people
17 Plays10 days ago
The most consistent challenge that crops up with my clients is learning to let go.
To let go of the thought that you know what's best, even in situations that involve loved ones...
To let go of the fears of what people think of you, not being good enough, not having control, and not getting your way.
To let go of the destructive, yet constant thought that if other people did things your way, life would be better for all involved.
Coming from the old spokeswoman of "I need to control everything to be happy" (yours truly) I know firsthand that your ability to (genuinely) let go will directly correlate with your ability to show up, speak from the heart and feel completely aligned and powerFULL while doing so.
Listen to this Modern Day Healer podcast episode where I break down the spiritual mind healing process of letting go of the need to control so you can focus on being the golden vessel of Light you were always intended to be.
**Hitting multiple 5-figure months as an online mentor is 20% execution and 80% a healed mindset.
If you'd love to learn more about how you can heal your mind, teach from your soul and build a fulfilling, life-giving online coaching business that generates 5-figure months for you and your family on repeat - click the link below to book a free "5 Figure Months on Repeat" call with me now!
https://calendly.com/dana-hayes/spiritual-business-strategy-call
Spots are limited and the offer ends 02/20/25.
There's no pressure, ever.
Just a Zoom call where I lay out the exact path to hitting 5-figure months on repeat using spiritual healing as the unshakable foundation for offer creation and scalable sustainability and heart-centered marketing as the strategy for life-changing sales.
If you feel called to free yourself from the old rules of business so you can spread your wings and soar as a healer or mentor, click the link below to book a call now.
https://calendly.com/dana-hayes/spiritual-business-strategy-call
I can’t wait to meet you,
Dana
**If you loved today's episode, remember to give this podcast a 5-star rating! You can quickly leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts by scrolling down on my show page, selecting a star rating, and tapping “Write a review.” This helps other modern-day healers discover the show, and your feedback helps me curate more content you love. Thank you for your support!!
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Transcript
Introduction to the Modern Day Healer Podcast
00:00:02
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the Modern Day Healer podcast. I'm your host, Dana Hayes, and I am so excited to share with you the stories, the trials, the tribulations, and most importantly, the triumphs of my own as well as many other successful modern day healers.
00:00:20
Speaker
We've gone all in to pursue our passion to make an impact in the world by helping humans heal from the and anyone else who feels a calling to help others
What Does It Mean to Be a Modern Day Healer?
00:00:42
Speaker
heal.
00:00:42
Speaker
grow and share their light. You could be a wife, a mother, a teacher, a writer, a speaker, a podcast host. You might be a workshop producer, a course creator. You're most likely an entrepreneur and can't shake the desire to make your calling your career because you know how much impact you could make if you went all in and had the opportunity to share your story with the world. That is a modern day healer.
00:01:11
Speaker
I'm a podcast host, a co-author of an amazing book about the journey of sobriety, a wife, a mom of two young children, and the creator of the spiritual lifestyle brand, Living in Power. I am Dana and I am a modern day healer. I am so glad you're here. Let's get started.
Challenges of Life and Self-Awareness
00:01:38
Speaker
Hello. If you are watching live right now, hi say hi to me. Let me know you're here. And if you're listening to the podcast, welcome, welcome, welcome back to another episode of The Modern Day Healer.
00:01:54
Speaker
um I'm your host, Dana Hayes. I am the founder of Modern Day Healer. I do the Modern Day Healer podcast that you're listening to right now. And I'm a business and spiritual business coach um and so many other things. And I'm speaking to the person who wants to be a mentor, who wants to be a guide, who so desires to show up powerfully for her people.
00:02:23
Speaker
but and for herself in the midst of real life, right? Because life gets lifey. It happens every single day. And there are so many mantras out there that are like, you know, um life happens for you, not to you.
00:02:45
Speaker
And we can tell ourselves that all day long, but if we don't know how to actually handle life on life's terms, it can be incredibly difficult to show up as the person that you know you are and to feel really confident in your abilities, not only to heal yourself, but to be an example of healing for other people so that they're able to heal themselves.
Filling the 'God-Sized Hole': Positive vs. External Vices
00:03:12
Speaker
And so I want to talk to you today about really, it's it comes down to the interactions with toxic people, right? There are lots of people in this world and
00:03:26
Speaker
We're all on some level spiritually ill. Okay. We are spiritual beings first and foremost, but we all have this quote unquote God sized hole in us, something that needs to be filled. And most of us are out there trying to fill it with external things like alcohol, drugs, video games, TV, food, cigarettes.
00:03:56
Speaker
whatever you whatever you can come up with, there are a million different ways to fill up that God-sized hole. Some people fill it with anger, with reactions, with being reactionary, right? And so for you, if you're somebody who is like, I so desire to become the most fulfilled potential right? Of a human being that I could possibly become so that I can be the example of what's possible for others. And yet you find yourself getting tripped up day after day in daily life because you're interacting with other human beings. I'm going to tell you right now, like you're
Relationship Dynamics: Expectations, Judgments, and Intentions
00:04:36
Speaker
not alone. Everyone goes through this, right? But your ambitions to be someone better, to become a better person,
00:04:45
Speaker
can actually create like more friction in your life because all of a sudden what happens? Painful self-awareness, right? There's this self-awareness where you're like, Oh my God, is it ego or is it me? right And you see your own ego and all of a sudden there's this judgment and the shame that comes in and this lack of compassion. And it's like, why am I not further in my own ability to handle things? Why am I not?
00:05:15
Speaker
further in my life with the way that I am. And it's like, Oh my gosh, no. Okay. So let's back up because this is not about you, right? That's like the very first thing that I want to say is that the reason that we suffer is because we make it all about ourselves, right? What other people are doing to us, how we're being perceived, what we want, right? Um, what else? Like,
00:05:44
Speaker
having control so that we get what we want. And so we make it all about ourselves. And when we do that, we go into situations with expectations of other people. And a lot of times those expectations are impossibly high for that other person. And what's crazy is that we judge ourselves based off of um based off of just our, uh, what our intentions are, right? But we base our perceptions on other people off of their actions and we don't think about what their intentions are. So quickly we just get into this rigmarole of where we are judging other people constantly based off of only action, right? And we're looking at ourselves and we're like, well, I,
00:06:40
Speaker
My intentions are pure and good. And therefore I know that if I was to control this situation, if I was able to control you, if I was able to control outside circumstances in my favor, the world would be a better place.
00:06:56
Speaker
And yet other people have the same thought about you and about themselves and about their intentions and about your actions. So we're all sitting here like pointing the finger, right? And when you point the finger, you always have three pointing back at you. It's like, okay, so we have to learn how to deal with life on life's terms and other people and where they're at right now. We have to be able to actually handle that and get through it instead of constantly trying to get around the issues and the way that we get around the issues, right? This is what we constantly do is we are ah so often trying to numb ourselves out and try to skirt around issues
00:07:43
Speaker
because we don't know how else to handle these
Spiritual Mind Healing and Its Importance
00:07:46
Speaker
things. And again, I'm going to go back to that God size whole thing in a second, but there is this missing piece. And so when we're dealing with other people, that missing piece shows up and we immediately try to handle things the best way that we can.
00:08:02
Speaker
And so we come at them with the same reactions, the same thought process, the same controlling ways that we always have, because it's all we know to do. It's all we know to do to fill that hole within ourselves.
00:08:17
Speaker
And then once the situation has, you know, I don't want to say it's over because it's not resolved yet, right? If it leaves this negative energy, this residue on you, it's not resolved. So then we leave the situation and go do other things to even try to fill ourselves more, right? And it creates more of this angst, more of this misalignment and more of this self judgment because you know that you could be better and yet you're showing up and you're being the same person that you've always been.
00:08:45
Speaker
And that can be really, really difficult. That's a hard place to be because it's like, Oh my gosh, your desire and where you're at are misaligned. Okay. So the first thing that I want to say is I totally understand and I've been there and I still go there sometimes, but I have a way out now and I'm going to share with you that way. Excuse me.
00:09:14
Speaker
So the way really is spiritual mind healing. We were given these amazing tools, our minds, right? Our brains, but they're tools. They're not necessarily, um, they're meaning making machines, right? They're not necessarily there for you to follow. They're not there to be your guide. Like your brain is, it should not be your guide. And what happens is we get into these interactions with other human beings and We use our brain as our guide and the issue is, is that all we have is our past experience of
Ego-Driven Perspectives and Emotional Outcomes
00:09:52
Speaker
life. This is what creates a reality. It's what creates our perspective of this human being and the situation at large and
00:10:01
Speaker
If all we have is our very finite past experience of life for me, that's only 35 years as this person, right? Walking in my shoes in the places that I've been and I that's a very tiny fragmented experience and perspective. And so if that's all I've got and I don't know how else to amend this situation. I'm going to go right back and pull from my past experience of life and my perspective, and I'm going to handle it from that same place. So I'm basically fixing something.
00:10:36
Speaker
using something that broke it to begin with, right? I'm trying to fix somebody else and the situation that I'm in by using the thing, my mind, my brain that broke it all to begin with that came in with this broken perspective that's so fragmented and small and finite and not necessarily true, right? It might be true to me, but it's not necessarily true to everyone. It's not a universal truth, right?
00:11:05
Speaker
And I come in at night and I put that perspective on this situation. I'm probably going to make a bigger mess out of it, not only for the person that's in it with me, but also for myself. And so what I have to do is I have to remember um what perspective to actually come in on these sticky situations with. And it's not just sticky situations, right? It's also the good stuff. How do we start to make this healed whole united existence in our life where we really experience things for the beauty and the
00:11:48
Speaker
the perfection that they really are as a human being. And that means that we've got to switch our perspective. We've got to be able to get out of mind and we've got to get into soul. We've got to get into the spiritual perspective. We've got to get into the true self, right? If we're spiritual beings having a human experience, that means that we need to get into the spiritual perspective. We've got to get into who we really are because who you really are,
00:12:18
Speaker
is healed, is whole. And the whole idea behind becoming who you really are is just peeling the layers of the human away to strip yourself down from all of that past perspective of life that your brain has created to get to the core of who you are, which is your spirit, your soul. And that's perspective. That's how you get to create your life. It is through the perspective in which you see it and experience it.
00:12:50
Speaker
And so in these hard situations where you might be encountering a toxic a toxic human being, or maybe it's just a difficult situation. It's not even a toxic person. It's just, oh my God, I don't know how to handle this. This this is a very sticky situation, right?
00:13:07
Speaker
We have to know how to go into that and switch our perspective to stop seeing things from this finite place and to see it from an infinite one. One where you can start seeing the stories that you're creating around this person. The problem that you perceive is an issue, right? The control that you're trying to place on the situation to get to get some sense of ease and comfort under your feet, some false sense of security, okay?
00:13:39
Speaker
And the way to really go about this, the easiest way for me is for me to look at the situation from a higher vantage point. First and foremost, I have to ask myself like, do I want to be right or do I want to be happy? Okay. And so when you're dealing with other human beings, it's a great question to ask yourself because sometimes to be totally honest with you, like let's say I get in a fight with Dom, sometimes it's like for an hour,
00:14:07
Speaker
I ask myself that question and the answer is I want to be right. like I just want that experience for myself and who's to say that that's good or bad, right? But ultimately I know what I'm here to do. I am here to mentor other people and to become my truest self. So being right is not necessarily the path to that. And so eventually I have to see that I would rather be happy. So how do I do that?
00:14:36
Speaker
I have to start seeing things from a different point of view. I have to look at the fact that my thinking, right? The way that I'm thinking is giving life to the emotional state that I'm in. So if I'm having a negative thought, I am going to probably have a negative emotional maybe not reaction, but ah an emotion, right? That negative emotion is then going to give life to a negative behavior. A lot of times there is a negative reaction to that negative emotion birthed from that negative thought.
00:15:12
Speaker
And then those negative behaviors and those negative actions give life to the results that I receive all around me. That is creation. That is destruction. That's how you can use your brain in order to create the experience of life that you have right now.
00:15:30
Speaker
Right? And I love it. In the book, Existential Kink, I forget her name, but she says that having is evidence of wanting. And it's like your soul is this, your human right now is an incarnation of whatever experience of life your soul is asking you to have. And we perceive things, good, bad, ugly, and yet it's all spiritual. So it's like, okay, on some level, whatever you have right now,
00:16:00
Speaker
Maybe not consciously, but subconsciously you desire that experience for whatever reason. It's your soul's experience, right? And so taking the judgment out of this, you go, all right, like, like, let's go back to the beginning of this toxic energy loop that I continuously find myself in. Maybe it's a,
00:16:22
Speaker
ah this person that sets me off often, but then I can actually see this play out in other areas of my life. I can actually see myself repeating this pattern with other people, with other situations, right? And I'm getting worn out on this pattern. So what is the pattern? Again, it is having the negative thought, which leads to the negative emotion, which leads the negative action, which leads to a negative result or experience in your life. Okay.
00:16:51
Speaker
So now, how do we use spiritual mind healing to heal that process, to get out of that toxic negative energy loop?
Trusting a Higher Power and Letting Go of Control
00:16:58
Speaker
First and foremost, we have to be able to see that our brain and our finite selves, our human selves are not in control.
00:17:10
Speaker
like A lot of times I think that for me anyway, I like to tell myself that I have control. I like to tell myself that I know what's best, right? And so we'll be in these situations and especially with children. I have noticed this with my kids more than anything else. I think I know everything when it comes to them. I think I know what's best for them always.
00:17:35
Speaker
And yes, on some level, I do, but there are experiences like with bullies, for example, or um with somebody not treating my tender, tender-hearted, sensitive, sweet eight-year-old the way that I think that they should, right? These are things, these are perceptions. This is my perception of what I think Should be happening and in reality. It's like when we constantly try to control other people and the Circumstances happening around us. We actually create more lack more of the quote-unquote bad stuff because really if I would just let Roman my son
00:18:18
Speaker
have this experience if it's not hurting him, if it's not actually harming him. and ah And I say bully very, very lightly. I mean, interactions where he's getting into arguments with other kids, boys usually, um and he's instigating also. But I'm just saying, when I let him have the experience instead of me always trying to jump in and be a helicopter parent and say to the other kid or to the other kid's parent, like, I don't like this, this can't happen.
00:18:48
Speaker
Right? I'm actually taking away an experience that might benefit him in the future because the reality is, is that life is not always easy. And in fact, I think it's hard a lot.
00:19:03
Speaker
But these hard moments are opportunities for us to change our perception. That's what I genuinely believe every single difficult situation, difficult person, every single one of these things is giving us an opportunity to shift our experience, to shift our perspective from one of mind to one of soul. And so when you do this, when you see things this way and you take these opportunities at feel really crappy, that feel really bad, energetically depleting, right? When you take them and you go, how can I completely change my operating system here? How can I completely change the way that I'm perceiving this? When you do that, you literally change not only operating system, but the way that your life begins to unfold. You actually change the course of your life.
00:20:01
Speaker
How do we do this? Well, one of the best ways to do it, first of all, like I said, starting with who's in charge here. Is it you? Is it you, your ego, your mind, or is it something bigger?
00:20:15
Speaker
If you are going to tell me that it's something bigger, the next thing I highly recommend you start looking at is, are you trusting and relying on that bigger thing? Or do you still on some very big level feel that you know better? I call this coaching God. Do you feel that you know what's best and that actually letting go and Having faith that things will unfold the way that they're supposed to is not going to benefit you or anybody else.
00:20:55
Speaker
If that's actually what you think, I am here to tell you I used to think the exact same thing because I was so afraid of what the results would be if I let go of control. Because I did not trust and rely on this higher thing. I said I believed in it, but what is belief? It's a trust and a reliance on this.
00:21:17
Speaker
It's actually putting all of your eggs in the basket, right? Having this belief, having faith in this higher thing and letting go to the point where you can actually say, this is really scary. I have to be super courageous in order to allow myself to go to this place and to not know what's going to happen on the other side, right? That's courage. It's doing the thing, taking the action, trusting and relying on something bigger without knowing What is on the other side? What's actually going to happen? What's the result going to be? That's you letting go of control. So, okay. So we know that we have to let go of control to something bigger, right? So what's the actual practical steps and application that we can take in order to alleviate this negativity that permeates out when we, when we get into these negative interactions with other people.
00:22:16
Speaker
We go to our higher power. We ask for help. We literally stop asking our minds. We ask something bigger.
Spiritual Tools: Simplicity and Effectiveness of Prayer and Meditation
00:22:22
Speaker
I know this sounds too simple. Do it. Okay. I don't know how this works. It just does. It's spiritual science. It is literally like electricity. We do not know actually. how electricity works, yet we turn that light switch on and it works. It's the same with prayer and meditation. Use it. Do it. Use your higher power. Tap into it. You don't have to do anything crazy. You don't have to have crystals. You don't have to have a candle. You don't have to have a Bible. You do not need anything other than yourself and the ability to ask for help and to really sincerely desire it. That's it. So ask for help in those moments. But then what's the next thing you can do?
00:23:00
Speaker
to start changing your mind, to start switching your thought patterns around. I want you to ask yourself what stories you're telling yourself about this person and about this situation that is keeping the negativity alive, right? The negativity is your ego. The negativity is a perception that is sick.
00:23:23
Speaker
that is spiritually sick and it keeps you trying to fill the void with more spiritual sickness because you don't know what else to do. You sit there and you try and you try and you try to control other people, to control things around you, right? To fill yourself up with external things and material objects and food and and like I said, drugs and alcohol or anger, negative emotions. This is all ego.
00:23:48
Speaker
And you can know if it's ego or if it's your soul based off of the way you feel. Ask yourself, does it feel peaceful? Does it feel good? Does it feel like I'm content? If you say no to any of those things, it is most likely not your soul because your soul knows nothing other than those things.
00:24:09
Speaker
Okay. It only knows love, contentment, peace, and all of the good stuff. It does not know angst. It does not know how to feel separate from other people. It does not know how to separate itself. That's not what it's here to do. And that's not what it is. It's energy simply put, right? It cannot be destroyed. It cannot be created. It is what it is.
00:24:31
Speaker
And so if you're coming at this from this perspective where you're like, okay, what are the stories that I am telling myself around this person to keep my ego fed and alive? That is going to give you some real insight if you're honest with yourself, if you're completely honest with yourself and you realize, right?
00:24:52
Speaker
and stories about how this person never did anything for you, how this person never does anything, how this person thinks, right? You know exactly what they're thinking at all times. If you tell yourself the story that, um, that the way that they behave should affect you, should have some bearing on what you think and how you behave, right? These are all stories. The story that you um that this person could do better if they tried. If you could do better, wouldn't you? Right? These These are stories that keep this negativity alive. And when we really get honest with ourselves and we start looking at these stories and we start going through them and we start seeing the patterns of the stories, we can then start looking at the fears that underlie all of them.
00:25:44
Speaker
And I say this all the time, but there are four main fears that crop up with any client I have, with myself, with any human being, and they are the fear of not being good enough, the fear of not getting what you want, the fear of not having control, and the fear of not being good enough.
00:26:01
Speaker
right? And any of those four fears are going to give birth to that first thought, to that first negative thought, right? Where there's judgment, there's condemnation, there's this feeling of like, oh my God, if I let you get away with that, then who am I? Right? And so We have to start looking at those fears and realize that when we're having them, first of all, it's totally human, right? We're going to bring our human on this experience no matter what. And so it's normal, normalize it right now. You're going to have fears. But the whole point in dissolving them is to see them for what they are. And they are literally just your ego trying to gain some sense of ground under its feet to make it feel more real.
00:26:51
Speaker
Because it's not. It's a part of this human experience. It's another part of the fragment the fragmented perspective. And so it's really about you seeing it from the reality, from the realistic point of view, that you don't know everything, that you don't actually know what's best for everyone, that you don't have all of the answers and that if you truly believed in something bigger, you would start to have trust and reliance on it.
00:27:23
Speaker
You would actually ask it for help in these moments instead of trusting and relying on your own judgment and trusting and relying on your own brain. The mind that created the issues in the first place, right? This perspective in which you are seeing things that is painful was created by your mind. So it will behoove you to stop thinking from that place.
00:27:53
Speaker
And ultimately, like I love this idea. I think I read this in a Richard Rohr book. But the idea that prayer, contemplative prayer, really is just you thinking the thoughts of your higher power.
00:28:07
Speaker
Right? Aligning yourself with that because you are inextricably tied to that higher thing anyway. And so the whole point here is for you to start perceiving things from that place, having the thoughts of your higher power. How do you do that? You literally ask for it. You start your day by asking for the will of your higher power, of your higher self.
00:28:28
Speaker
ask for. You have to take the action though. This is spiritual action. That's why spiritual mind healing is not something that you can just think about and go, yeah, yeah, I think I know that. There's actionable steps to be taken here and they're very basic. They're very simple. And when you do them, you experience a completely different life.
00:28:50
Speaker
The trajectory of your life goes upwards, right? It's elevating always. It's not a zero-sum game anymore where you run into somebody, they get you angry and then it's like they win you lose. No, like you get to come into this as the example always if you're able to clear yourself out of this energy this toxic energy, right? This toxic energy loop that so many of us find ourselves in and then feel really nervous to go show up as mentors, healers, creators, whatever it is, because we feel a misalignment with who we're being and who we want to become.
00:29:28
Speaker
and who we know we're meant to be. Now that's not to say that when you do feel like somebody has brought you down or um you know like things are misaligned or like for example I told you I have those moments where I'm gonna fight with my husband and I'm like you know what I just want to be I just want to be right. I still show up though because I know at the end of the day what I am.
00:29:49
Speaker
I am healed, right? You are healed. You're already healed. That's who you are. That's your soul. Your soul is already fully healed. That's the point. That's actually what you are at the core. The rest of it is just layers of ego, layers of suffering made from the perspective of a sick mind. And when I say sick, I mean spiritually sick. If we're not completely completely filled up with our spiritual selves, which we can't be because we are human,
Balancing Human Experience with Spiritual Growth
00:30:19
Speaker
right? There's no way to get your your head completely in the clouds. And if you do that, you're missing the whole point. Anyway, we're here to have an experience.
00:30:26
Speaker
But unless you do that, unless you are completely there, and there's only like a handful of people I think in this world, Gandhi, um maybe the Dalai Lama, um but there's only a handful of people that have, maybe Eckhart Tolle, have really gotten themselves to that place most of the time where they are spiritually fit, right?
00:30:50
Speaker
That's why we need grace for ourselves, compassion for the process, understanding that this is about progress, not perfection. You will never be perfect, although you are perfection at the core. But it's like, will you ever get all of those layers unpeeled? Maybe not. But you can.
00:31:09
Speaker
You can heal your perspective. You can heal the way that you're looking at other people and the way that you're interacting with them and the way that they affect you after being around them. You can heal that. And again, I want to go back to the toxic energy loop and remind you that it starts with the thought. That's why we're talking about spiritual mind healing. It's about healing that first thought.
00:31:33
Speaker
Right. And really going back to what, what would my higher self do? What would my higher self think in this moment? And then realizing that when we go into more judgment of ourselves, when we go into that whole, Oh my God, if it was really my higher self, I wouldn't be trying to control the situation, all of that. Okay. That's where we start talking about boundaries. Like where do good boundaries come in? When is the time to do that?
00:32:03
Speaker
And I believe that that is whenever you are trying to, um the whole point here is you are keeping your side of the street clean, always. And what does your side of the street entail? Your family, your immediate family. That's your boundary. Like that's where you get to create boundaries and stick to them. But then keeping your side of this the street clean, right?
00:32:28
Speaker
This also means you don't create more garbage for the road. You respect other people. You give them respect, but you create firm boundaries where it's like, oh, my door is closed right now. And that's all there is to it. You don't get to step beyond this point for me or my family. But then when somebody else comes through the street and is throwing garbage around, it's not your job to go try to clean up their side of the street. And it's not your job to go make them pick it up. And it's not your job to show them a better way. It's not at all.
00:33:07
Speaker
Your job is to keep your side of the street clean and that is also going to keep your perspective tight because really like again, would your higher power really be here to to condemn other people and to judge them and to tell them what they should be doing? No, it's for you to let go of control over other people over the circumstances that are happening and really allow your higher power to come in and give you the correct next thought or action. That's it. It's about you getting out of the way and letting something bigger come in and take you over as the vessel that you are and allowing it
00:33:47
Speaker
to take over your mind and to create that first spot, which then will give birth to a much better emotion, a much higher emotion, right, of a higher frequency. And then that is going to give birth to a higher action at a higher frequency, which magnetizes you to results of higher frequencies. That's how this works.
00:34:12
Speaker
And so when you're in these interactions with other people and you're finding yourself judging yourself, first of all, this, I feel like this is probably one of the biggest issues is. You are a human. You sit there. You're mad at somebody else. You're angry about it. Let yourself be angry. Let yourself be mad. You're having an emotion. Okay. Now, maybe try not to react right away. And then when you walk away, you ask your higher power for help. This is a real time example, right? Ask your higher power for help.
00:34:42
Speaker
And then we start looking at the stories you're telling yourself about this person and the situation to keep it alive and real. And then we look at the fears. What are the fears underlying all of this? What are the fears that are underlying your stories that you're telling yourself to keep the situation alive? These fears are running everything and they're coming from your ego. And then the next part, really, it's like, okay,
00:35:09
Speaker
So you have these fears. What are they doing to benefit you? what are they actually doing to benefit you? Not much. And so if we realize that these fears are not the thoughts of our higher self, again, remember the core of this is perspective. You are shifting your perspective. You're using every opportunity in your life to shift your perspective from one of mind and suffering to one of empowerment and soul. And so you see that this is not coming from
00:35:40
Speaker
your soul, you see that it's coming from your mind, these fears, right? They're coming from your ego. And so you ask your higher power for help with them. Do you see how easy this is? It is literally the most simplistic science and yet nobody, I don't want to say nobody, so many people don't use it because I think that it feels too easy. It's like you should be doing more.
00:36:05
Speaker
When in reality, this is what works. You and what you've been doing might not work. So try something else out. These fears list them out. What are they? The fear of, you know, this person taking advantage of you, the fear of disrespect, right? Okay. So now you're going to ask your higher power for the ability to get over those fears and to do its will.
00:36:32
Speaker
Anyway, right? That's how you show up. That's how you continuously allow yourself to replenish the spiritual energy that you are depleting when you are allowing other people to affect you negatively, right? When these negative toxic energy loops are coming up, you are depleting yourself because you're outsourcing your energy to your mind, to your ego. You're looking to it.
00:37:00
Speaker
to basically take care of the situation when it can't, right? And now you're coaching God and you're telling it like what you're going to do and how it should behave. And it's like, no, that's so energetically depleting. That is so exhausting. There's an easier way. You don't have to figure it out. And in fact, you will never figure it out. So why don't you take a load off?
00:37:27
Speaker
go, okay, I don't actually know the answer here and say, you take these things from me because they're not benefiting me and they're also not benefiting you, right? Take these things from me and show me what you would have me be instead. Maybe not even what you should do, but show me what you would have me be.
00:37:47
Speaker
Who should I be in this moment, right? It's always asking for guidance from your higher self because that's where the empowerment comes from. That's where your real self is located. That's where the real thoughts, the high frequency thoughts are coming from.
00:38:05
Speaker
And if you want to live this high frequency life, this life where you're magnetic to other things that are high frequency and you want to show other people how to do the same thing and you want to show up in a way that like embodies that and, and makes it really visible and obvious to other people that you are practicing what you preach. This is all you have to do. You literally ask your higher self for help.
00:38:31
Speaker
Right? You shift your perspective from one of mind to one of soul constantly using every single one of these tough situations as an opportunity to practice this.
00:38:44
Speaker
And it's really not much. It's just seeing the truth of the situation. Instead of seeing your truth, we need to see the spiritual truth. What is the universal truth? The truth is you don't know if you haven't asked somebody, right? So if if you're telling yourself, you know exactly why somebody did what they did, but you haven't asked them, that's not a universal, that's not a spiritual truth. That's not a universal truth. The truth is is that you don't know.
00:39:08
Speaker
That's the universal truth. That's the spiritual truth. The truth is you might like what you're doing, right? The truth is you might like to feel angry. The truth is you might be creating all of this and they might not be doing anything. Maybe, right? The truth is, is that they would be doing better if they could.
00:39:30
Speaker
These are possible universal truths, but I can tell you that the truth is not probably exactly what you think it is, regardless of how how tightly sealed it feels. It's like we are so analytical. And again, our brains are meaning making machines. That's what they do.
00:39:53
Speaker
But my God, they are not good at creating a beautiful life. One where you are so full of peace and contentment and love, right? No, your ego needs to find a different way because that's not how it operates. It is so afraid of dying because it's gonna die when your body dies. So it takes a different route and that's how you know that's what it is and it's not your soul. It's not a soul for perspective. It's a egotistical perspective when you're in pain and you're suffering.
00:40:22
Speaker
Because that's all your your ego knows how to do. That's what it clings to. It creates suffering to make itself feel real and to justify why you also should feel that way and behave and act in lieu of it,
Ego, Fear, and Genuine Spiritual Connection
00:40:38
Speaker
right? You should behave and act in accordance with that fear. That's what your ego wants you to do. So it feels more real and it gives it something to sink its teeth into. Something quote unquote tangible, but we won't. Okay.
00:40:52
Speaker
I hope that that was helpful.
00:40:59
Speaker
I feel like the process of showing up powerfully when life is being lifey can be really nuanced and messy, but if you are dedicated and committed to always elevating yourself to a higher consciousness, to becoming the person that you know that you are, right? If you're dedicated and committed to that mission, you will do these things. You will take spiritual action. You will do spiritual mind healing on yourself with the help of a higher power. That's all it takes.
00:41:40
Speaker
And when you start seeing the results and the evidence from that, that's where your are true faith in yourself and confidence in yourself and conviction in what you're doing in your path. That's where that all comes from. And so I highly recommend trying this out now, asking yourself, do I want to be right? Do I want to be happy? Okay. I want to be happy. Fine. I need to switch my perception from one of mind to one of soul. I need to stop going to my brain to ask it for the right next thing.
00:42:08
Speaker
I need to ask my higher power for that instead and I need to wait until it gives me clear cut instructions or do nothing, right? Do not act. Pray, ask it over and over again until you get a response. Ask yourself what stories are you telling yourself about this negative experience to keep it alive and true and also to keep your ego intact.
Conclusion: Moving from Mind to Soul Perspective for Personal Growth
00:42:34
Speaker
Then ask yourself what fears are underlying those stories so that you can start dismantling them and dissolving them and asking again your higher power to take care of them for you because it will.
00:42:46
Speaker
and then asking it what you should be instead. That's it. Like this is all about you becoming your higher self. That's it. That's how you show it powerfully. And that's how you do it with so much confidence. Even when life happens, even when you know that you're not being perfect, even when you don't handle things perfectly, quote unquote, like, okay, that's fine.
00:43:07
Speaker
But at the very least you'll know that you did your best because you have been asking your higher power. You have been asking for that guidance from something bigger than your brain. And you can walk and move forward with your head held high and feeling like, you know what? Like at the very least I know that the path that I'm on right now is the one that I need to be in order to become the greatest mentor, the greatest guide, the greatest healer I can be. And that's it.
00:43:37
Speaker
And then we move on and we become more than just the greatest guide healer mentor. We become elevated in that and we become the next iteration of that and so on and so forth. And so if this was really helpful, please let me know. Please message me on Instagram. I have it linked in the show notes. If you're listening to the podcast um or if you're watching this on Facebook, let me know in the comments, like was this helpful?
00:44:05
Speaker
Is there something that you want clarification on? Let me know. And until the next time, I hope you have an amazing rest of your week. And I hope that you're able to show up a little bit more soundly with life on life's terms, even in the midst of toxic people and the realized stuff that we have to deal with. Okay. Hope that was helpful. Talk to you soon. Bye.