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Tumblereads 4: Let’s avoid thinking about the state of the world by talking about stabby smut
52 Plays23 hours ago
The title pretty much says it all.
Links to the books we're reading at smutreport.com/podcast.
Have thoughts? Leave us a comment or drop us a line on bsky.
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Transcript
Introduction and Technical Hiccups
00:00:00
Speaker
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-smart report! hi everybody. Welcome back to TumbleReads Smart Report Edition. I'm Holly.
00:00:11
Speaker
I'm Erin. And I'm Ingrid. And I'm emceeing today. Oh, shoot. Oh, I do have my phone next to me. Okay, sorry. I gotta to get my timer set up. But I'm emceeing today, and let me set my timer, and then...
00:00:28
Speaker
ah We'll do our thing. We'll do our thing. Sorry, I was not prepared for that. Okay. um So anyway, I've been thinking a lot about like, basically, I've been feeling pretty down and demoralized about the state of the world and like thinking about like the role of romance in the political sphere and like what is our responsibility or maybe we don't have one in this space But I don't, it never coalesced into a real question. And actually that whole conversation just seems like a big downer for me right now.
00:01:07
Speaker
So going to table that maybe sometime in the future. We'll talk about that. but today i just want to hear about the crazy stuff you guys are reading.
Exploring Omegaverse and Hellhound Shifters
00:01:18
Speaker
So are guys reading? and I was good it's like, Aaron, I know Aaron's reading some nonfiction. Aaron, what are what are you reading? That's Omegaverse. That's what I want to know. but Actually, Omegaverse this week. I was on a little Omegaverse binge a hot second ago, but i did find I was on I i love MMRomance Reddit.
00:01:43
Speaker
i I'm on a couple different or I've joined a couple different Reddit subs that are romance related, but the vibe of the MMRomance is like really excellent. Like everybody there is very checked in.
00:01:58
Speaker
um and and and sometimes i find spectacularly unhinged recommendations which you know always enjoy but yeah i this week um early in the week i came across like a what scene was like really funny for you book and And there were a lot of the usual subjects that I've read before. you know, we've talked about Isabel Murray and um think Alexis Hall's boyfriend material came up.
00:02:26
Speaker
But i found a few new ones and I was like, okay, I've seen this author a few times. You know, I've seen this one. This one's actually on my TBR. But then I was like, I have no attention for anything and I have stuff I need to do So what's an audiobook available for me? And then I was like, what's an audiobook at my library as opposed to like, I have to go buy it. So we're drilling down and drilling.
00:02:46
Speaker
I found... this um series about hellhounds who So it's basically like... Are they shifter hellhounds? They're shifter hellhounds.
00:02:57
Speaker
Then they like but we like... what is a hellhound? ah So they're... They... Like, I mean, I'm just curious. Hellhounds hell, Holly. Right, but like, if they're human shifters, are they demon shifters?
00:03:08
Speaker
No, they're hellhound shifters. Okay, but... like a It's a whole, like, they... So their dad, quote, dad, is a first-generation hellhound who like left hell...
00:03:20
Speaker
to like go find truly evil souls on earth and then they like torture them and send them to hell basically and then okay cool those first generation hellhounds like mated with humans or whatever and now there's the second generation hellhounds and that's like where the first few books come into this Okay, okay, so these are people whose dads, so hellhounds are kind of demon adjacent.
00:03:43
Speaker
I think that sounds right. Yeah. I mean, basically, instead of turning into like shifting into a demon, they shift into ah flaming wolf dog thing that is gigantic. Okay, so they're like on fire.
00:03:54
Speaker
Yeah, but they can also partially shift and like they have tails. So they can use their prehensile tails during sex as well. Oh, okay. As one does. Prehensile tails. Most dogs do not have prehensile tails. No, no, no. But the tails are not furry when they're in half shift form. Oh.
00:04:08
Speaker
oh No, because that you wouldn't want that. You wouldn't want that. It's like, it's bigger than a finger, but smaller than certain and other things. And of course, there's nodding. You know, it's a whole thing.
00:04:21
Speaker
Of course, Aaron would find, right? Like, I've been reading shifter romances, but Aaron finds the ones that are like, the word prehensile applies.
00:04:31
Speaker
ah different That's a different can of worms. wait, wait. But you were saying funny books. Okay, so... so The first book is How to Flirt with a Hellhound. And they're funny because and in the first book, the the the one human is a romance writer. So it's a meta romance, but it's one of those like funny romances because it's kind of unhinged.
00:04:52
Speaker
So it's like, he's a romance writer and he is talking to his friends and his friends are always like, this guy has such an imagination.
Humor and Absurdity in Romance Novels
00:04:58
Speaker
like we They don't like fully take him seriously ever. So like he's like, I'm pretty sure my neighbor's a serial killer.
00:05:04
Speaker
And they're like, okay is like but i'm pretty sure i thought i'd carry a body and a rug the other night like okay okay and then but like or like stuff like and like i was talking to the other neighbor and he came over and was like well actually you have to lose this much blood in order to die there's like this back and forth and so the hellhound is like i'm gonna go do research for my love and he like goes off and he like tortures people but like in accordance with the romance novel suspense novel question that like the other guy just asked it was like how many fingers could you lose before you bleed out he's like actually i cut off all that guy's fingers and he didn't bleed out you know so
00:05:52
Speaker
but like he's not like fully confessing that he's like out killing people yet so it's like very unhinged and then there's just stuff like the first the first hellhound he was raised by another hellhound so like all the hellhounds are a little bit clueless about how humans work so like every now and again they'll be like in a human situation they'll be like wait is that not Is that not normal?
00:06:14
Speaker
but Should I have done that differently? And that's pretty humorous. It gets more humorous later. And then there's one there's one hellhound who was like more raised by humans than the rest of them.
00:06:25
Speaker
And then there's one who was like literally raised by wolves. But the one who was more raised by humans than the rest of them, they start like having this thing with the sheriff and he's going to like have his book with the sheriff later. And he's like, well, i mean, we have the guy in our torture basement, but if you want to come down, you can come down and look at it. And the sheriff's just like, can you quit fucking with me, dude? he doesn't believe them at all so like the one guy is just like saying everything that is 100 true but like saying it like it's a joke so that nobody believes them so anyway it's pretty unhinged it's like violent um shannon may m-a-e that's hilarious it's been very funny and entertaining so i have a question for you aaron yeah did they also spank each other
00:07:12
Speaker
ah Not muche question I'm just curious. There is some spanky hanky panky, but it's not equal opportunity kink.
00:07:23
Speaker
um So like some of the characters are one of so the second two pro like humans. were rescued from like the prior serial killers. So one of them had been one of them, the first hellhound guy, he was like, no, I just killed that guy. And now I got to figure out what to do with you. So he keeps on calling him a stray.
00:07:45
Speaker
He's like, I rehomed the strays. And then the guy, the people are like, they're not cats. He's like, I know they're not cats. Why do people keep telling me they're not cats? They're stray humans. And I just like rehomed them with like the angel and the Oracle who live in town. And so like he's one of the romance heroes and like the next book and then one guy who was imprisoned um by the stalker ah killer in the first who was like the threat in the first book are they all mm yeah this series is there there's a new there's a woman coming in that's like gonna be newly adopted into the family slash pack because she's like a late bloomer and didn't know she was a hellhound she just thought she was a sociopath who was killing bad people
00:08:27
Speaker
ah oh I haven't finished that book yet, so I don't know her full backstory, but like she's going to come in in a second. So I don't know what's going to happen, but I think that Shannon May is primarily an MMO author.
00:08:39
Speaker
um So yeah, it's special. It was very funny and entertaining. yeah Oh, sorry.
Dark Romance vs. Humor
00:08:45
Speaker
I just asked because I feel like, but well, because it the vibe kind of sounds like um the Bryn Weaver books.
00:08:52
Speaker
uh about uh butcher and blackbird is the first one oh the the one her book's about serial killers where it's like they're comedies but i could totally see one of them being like well i cut off all his fingers but he didn't bleed out um but that one had like gratuitous like bondage for like kink for no reason but it was like just shock and awe just the way all the violence was shock and awe they're like yeah i'm gonna eat your eyeballs like shock shock shock awe awe awe But and also I'm going to spank you because shock, shock, shock. And it's I was just curious if that like if like how the if there was like this violence shock, but if it would also led into like we're also going to make the sex a little shocking just to keep that level.
00:09:36
Speaker
Oh, so yeah. So to like conclude my thought, like with the two guys that were dealing with trauma, their relationships were much more ah nurturing based. so like in the third book one of the hellhounds was raised by wolves but until he was found by the dad guy and uh so he actually learned how to shift into looking like a regular dog so the guy thinks that he's just like the guard dog and like goes for walks with him every day and talks to him about all of his like stuff and then finds it's really sweet except for it then they're like he's like
00:10:08
Speaker
uh you're a dog and a person guy's like yeah he's like ah is that a is that a problem it's you like you lied to me that a problem it was very funny but yeah so like there are variables and the one that i'm in the middle of right now the fourth one they're like that's more dom sub vibes but it's not like it's not shock and awe it's like she's kind of developed each relationship individually Okay. um But it's been very entertaining. And then the other thing that I've been listening to, I i was thinking about maybe I should make a Saturday Smitty Six of like murder mysteries. h Because there are the, you know, like one couple, like five books or whatever following the same couple. but like, let's just do a bunch of murder mysteries.
00:10:55
Speaker
We'll see if I finish enough of them to get six. um But I just read another series like a few a couple months ago. Read another murder mystery series that was Welsh. And now I'm in this one listening to it.
00:11:05
Speaker
It's not funny. It was in the same list. And I'm like, this is where like everybody's humor does not actually match. But it's been engaging to listen to because I just like got to listen.
00:11:17
Speaker
I can't reading with my eyes is such an ask at the moment. that's hilarious yeah So yeah, it's been a fun week. So maybe that's like, you just, I was like, this is my vibe for the week. I am. I just got to find something with giggles.
00:11:32
Speaker
So what's your vibe for the week? Ingrid. Yeah. My vibe for the week? Well, I'm glad that you asked. i I went the exact
Morally Ambiguous Characters and Unconventional Dynamics
00:11:40
Speaker
opposite direction. Same theme, opposite vibe.
00:11:45
Speaker
um It started because it was my birthday and I was like, I'm going to treat myself and get the next Jennifer Armantrout book, right? so I spent my money and I got my Jennifer Armantrout book. It was, you know, in a sitcom and it's usually in like the third or fourth series ah season season.
00:12:02
Speaker
when they do like a recap episode. So like, it's usually like those detective shows, right? Where they're like stuck in a difficult situation. And then they're like, think about all the times that they, that this happened or that happened. And it just is a bunch of replays.
00:12:16
Speaker
Okay. Except it was the entire book. Oh no. she goes into stasis. Like she goes, falls asleep. The main character falls asleep. And they basically retell the entire first book from the male main characters.
00:12:29
Speaker
Yeah. perspective the entire your book the whole okay so like I've read fan fiction that does that right where like somebody writes a fic that's like single POV and then they'll be like well that was fun what if I retell that as a separate fic from the other main character's perspective and like that's like a fun and you like link them together and like that's kind of a fun exercise but what yeah like for a full-on tribe that's numbered in the series but and it would be one thing if if it had been single pov like the whole time mm-hmm
00:13:06
Speaker
And I'm trying to remember if it is, but like the thing is, is that this is fantasy. Remember there's been like sweeping disclosures here. Like we already know. Like the part where it was like, i wonder what he was thinking in that book or i wonder what was going on there. That, that passed like three books ago.
00:13:21
Speaker
Like this is, we're done. I don't even know. i really am curious why. I'm sure there's a reason. I'm sure people like it, but I don't understand. Didn't James write the Fifty Shades books? from christian gray's perspective didn't she do that also she did do that yeah but it was like 10 years later right and it was like a standalone right trilogy rewrite but stuck right and if you took out all of the reminiscing the actual action in this book takes place over like the course of one day so like she goes into stasis and he spends the entire book
00:13:54
Speaker
talking to her in her sleep because they don't know if she'll remember her past when she's asleep. And so they retell the whole thing. i was so, I rage read it because I was like, okay, I guess this is where we are because I want to know what happens in the series.
00:14:07
Speaker
But I was like, oh, so I had seen some mixed reviews of Jennifer Armentrout and I was like, I don't get it. Like, it's pretty good. I mean, like if I mean, I get it if you don't read fantasy romance, but like she's not totally. And then I got to this one and i was like, OK, I get it. i And you're big. i got cra up Well, I mean, I'm not going to not finish it, but I was like, it just felt like it was from a literary, like a constructive perspective.
00:14:30
Speaker
standpoint it was superfluous and it completely derailed the momentum of the series completely derailed it so i i don't know i was really annoyed with that so perhaps because i was like a little bit ragey because i was like this was my birthday book damn you so i read this series by harper l worth woods called it's like the coven okay So it's, but it's, it's like, it's dark. So it's like, she's a witch who in this series, like they're trying to kind of like consolidate and protect the power of the coven.
00:15:07
Speaker
So the male witches that are born have to choose between either having a family like procreating or having magic, but they can't have both. So that way they can control how many descendants have which kinds of power.
00:15:20
Speaker
Like it's like a thing. And her dad like ran away or like was hidden. And so nobody knew that he existed. And so she was able to get two kinds of magic. And then her job is to go in and destroy the coven basically, or destroy, like take it down.
00:15:35
Speaker
So she's found, she goes in, turns out there's like this vampire coven symbiotic relationship where like the vampires will die if they don't feed off the coven. um And I don't remember exactly why, i like the vampire, anyway, this is whole thing, but it turns out that, and this is the spoiler. So don't like, but it's not a huge, but I don't think it's a huge, Well it is kind of But I don't It's a hint to that Turns out He's like Straight up Like the vampire That she's like Links at He's Okay first This is There's so many red flags In this He's a headmaster He's the headmaster Of the school Where she's
00:16:07
Speaker
it's like your college she's 20 but he's the headmaster vampire dude also he's a vampire so he's 500 right like which is like is that like knowledge gap normal you know like like i like and so for me and but like i have kind of a weird thing about like age so like for me if it was just the vampire thing that wouldn't bother me but but vampire and headmaster i was like yeah but it's handled fine like you're kind of like okay I guess we're just gonna roll with this and then um he is like
00:16:40
Speaker
he is like evil like he's a bad guy because he's lucifer oh so more than 500 he's like satan yeah so um he's satan she's a necro necrobancer which anyway the whole thing is really interesting and in the beginning you're just like oh this is oh because it's very dark and there's a lot of like Very dubious consent stuff going on. like They lie to each other all the time. She tries to stab him in the heart. like
00:17:12
Speaker
Very dark. Very dark. Much murderous. um and But then like I just finished the second one. I think the third one's coming out ah in October, actually,
00:17:23
Speaker
and ah But anyway, it it does kind of pull together into a plot and then you're like, oh, I see where it's coming from. But I will say this. There's a point in the book where you're like, is this going to go like Adam's family, like Morticia? And, you know, like, i is this like that kind of romance? And it is. Like, he is completely, it turns out he is like absolutely completely devoted to her. Like, like.
00:17:42
Speaker
loves her in a like absolute wholly encompassing way but like you get through all this like really like sketchy stuff first to like get there um so anyway that was a really interesting ride because i was like oh my um um Definitely pearl clutching type of thing, but it was it was it was good. So,
Fated Mates and Genuine Connections
00:18:00
Speaker
um I mean, it was fine.
00:18:02
Speaker
It was coming off the back of a lot of rage, so I can't tell. Like, you know sometimes you read things through a lens and you think, okay. And you're like, yeah, that's what I needed right then. Yeah, yeah. But if you had read it, like, at a different time, you might have been like, I don't know about that.
00:18:14
Speaker
So, anyway, I'm still kind of settling with this one. Harper Woods wrote the What Lies in the Shadows series, that one. which is like more traditional fantasy, like fey gods, goddesses, light, dark power stuff, you know?
00:18:29
Speaker
So anyway, that's what I did. I did the opposite of Aaron. There are also demons and hellacious stuff. um And I also read another book or another series that,
00:18:41
Speaker
What the heck was that series? And it had shifter shifters in it, but only one of them was a demon shifter, Aaron. um And he also had flames, a flaming shifter dog, man. I mean, flames can be fun because, you know, you can accidentally light things on fire with your passion. Right, right, right.
00:18:56
Speaker
Yeah. So anyhow, I a lot of of the fantasy romance kind of shifted into a lot of shredding of flesh and decapitations and such.
00:19:09
Speaker
Mm hmm. for me this week who maybe that's what i needed in my reading i don't know yeah yeah i will say the it was very the one that i read that i can't remember the name of the series uh maybe i can try to remember it um was interesting because it was a shifter romance, but you know how most the time in shifter romances, it's just like, oh, you're my fated mate and that's it.
00:19:31
Speaker
We're not going to think about this any further. you know what I mean? This one, she isn't a shifter. So she's like, well, hold on a second. You weren't interested in me until you sniffed me. And now all of a sudden, cause your wolf wants me like, that's it. Like, how am I supposed to know that you want me? Like, I don't give a shit about your wolf. Like this is uncomfortable for me.
00:19:52
Speaker
So the whole thing is that she's really struggling with the fact that like she doesn't know if he's a if he likes her for her or if it's just because the wolf decided and that's just the way it is. And she's like, well what if I want a relationship where it's like built on ah choice, you know? like So that was really interesting. i thought that was an interesting series.
00:20:12
Speaker
I think I read seven books this week. Maybe eight. I don't remember. So did you not read anything this week, Holly? No. Well, I'm
Challenges in Non-traditional Romance Elements
00:20:20
Speaker
i'm reading... something extraordinary by alexis hall oh and like no decapitations zero out of you know like zero stars no decapitations disappointing disappointing no shredding of flesh but i'm i'm kind of struggling with like so it's the third book in the something series and i think aaron you also read the first one yeah right but not the second one right I thought you struggled with the second one too, didn't you, Holly?
00:20:50
Speaker
No, I really liked the second one. I really liked the second one. The first one I was like, this is too silly. I can't even deal with it. um And so this one is the main characters are Belle, who is the sister from the first book, who's like the duke originally drama the drama girl the drama girl the drama girl who causes all the drama and male main character is a gay man and who um is kind of in love with her brother maybe um but is gonna marry a nice christian girl who's gonna fix his gayness
00:21:27
Speaker
Oh, dear. And so she's like, how about you marry me instead? And so it's about them kind of... I'm about halfway and they just got married. So they, like, agree to elope and get married. And, like, they have some fights about who, like, they abduct each other.
00:21:43
Speaker
You know... And they agree to get married and they're going to have a companionate marriage. But like the love story is between them, the two of them. um And also around the midway point, they both there's on page sex scenes where they both have sex with other people.
00:21:59
Speaker
Huh. um because they are not physically attracted to each other right like and hu and but it's it's weird it's kind of a like the characters are they're both just like deeply unhappy people and like you guys have read other Alexis Hall books he writes a lot of like deeply unhappy people and sometimes it's really fun and sometimes it's a real slog and in this case being in their heads is like a real slog well there's no balance counterbalance it sounds like where's the counterbalance well so it's like it's either the chapters are either like them thinking about how they're incapable of love slash incapable of being loved like fundamentally unlovable and
00:22:44
Speaker
And so that's like half of it. And then the other half of it is scenes where, you know, like the hero wakes up in the inn and like the girl is gone and the innkeeper is sitting on his bed with a knife.
00:22:59
Speaker
And he's like, what? And the innkeeper's like, you know, i didn't like how you behaved about her and talked about how you were abducting her. So drugged and helped her escape from you.
00:23:11
Speaker
and now what am I gonna do with you and the guy's like uh how about you not kill me though and the innkeeper's like well you know but like meat is so expensive these days and so so then they have like this whole like long extended Sweeney Todd bit and he escapes and he like goes out you know walks down the road a mile and catches up to the girl and she's like where have you been like what took you so long and he's like well he was gonna put me in a meat pie and she's like what ah to I told him very specifically not to kill and eat you
00:23:43
Speaker
Right? So they have all of these ridiculous banter scenes that are just like pure like Alexis Hall caper comedy. Sure, sure. and But then they're interspersed with this like like so maudlin up in my feelings stuff.
00:24:00
Speaker
And I feel like, and it's like like I know Alexis Hall can write depressed characters who are still engaging to be around. yeah And I feel like the execution on this is not quite there. And it's really long. It's like 500 pages long. It's long a romance book.
00:24:13
Speaker
Well, and for that type of that that type of dynamic. Yeah. so Because, you know, I mean, there's a balance to it. it's Sometimes it's really nice to sit in that kind of like deep well of, you know, bum, bummer.
00:24:27
Speaker
But sometimes it really sucks you down. It's really tough. It's a thing to execute.
Exploring Romance Tropes
00:24:32
Speaker
i know. Well, and I'm trying and I'm like, I kind of want to give this book Like really go with this book because I'm interested because I'm like, this is a really non-traditional AGA that he is explicitly setting out to write.
00:24:45
Speaker
And like, can there be a love story if when sex is 100% off the table? I feel like we had this conversation. Yeah, but we did. We did. we did I'm curious to see how that one's going to turn out because because we've had conversations about like, you know, stories where because often in romance, when a couple comes together, it's because they complete each other. Absolutely complete each other.
00:25:07
Speaker
Yeah. And um that that's not really always ah how it works. And so, you know, sometimes it feels kind of good. And I've noticed this more with books where there's like Girl Squad stuff. Mm hmm.
00:25:18
Speaker
um where it feels like the friendship kind of completes some of the emotional constipation of the male main character. And so right but but that's acceptable because that's what we experience in society. We don't outsource the physical stuff. Right. it's an interesting conversation.
00:25:34
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, and I feel like maybe we talked about this or I talked, I read another book where like this was kind of going on this year, but I don't remember what it was. I'll have to look it up. I know i and like but um anyway. Okay.
00:25:47
Speaker
Anyway, we'll see. I'll report back. Maybe I'll get better. But um right now, you know, but I was telling my husband about it and like told him about the Sweeney Todd thing. He's like, what are you talking about? This book sounds hilarious. i'm like, but you don't understand. I had to read like 150 pages of them.
00:26:03
Speaker
Yeah. Moaning. It feels like god I... genuinely think that you should embrace the rage and go for something with some mild decapitation and torture well you know decapitation okay so you know though like our next big podcast together is the monster like what's going on with monsters yes and all my arcs for october are also like monster books excellent like i think it like not monstery monsters but like a werewolf and maybe i think they're they're paranormals so after i finish this i'm just gonna like sit down and binge read like a bunch of minotaurs think that's a good idea i am in this book club and they don't they want to read stuff that's some romance and some you know like mix it up a little bit which okay i mean i haven't really read a lot of other stuff they want to do horror for october
00:26:52
Speaker
And it's hilarious because I was reading the back of it and I was like, and then they fall in love. And then I was like, no, Ingrid, wrong genre. Like, i it's going to be really hard for me because I'm going keep being like, but where's that where's the end of the rainbow? And there isn't going to be one because it's yeah horror, Ingrid. but Right. Well, and I think horror, one of the things of the genre, from my understanding, not having read a ton of horror, is that like the ending should, by definition, be unsettling or ambiguous. Right, which
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:27:20
Speaker
don't really well. that's why like,
00:27:21
Speaker
the horror rament romance crossovers are difficult i think i've read two but like they're a challenge anyway uh our timer went off like five minutes ago so got it um i'm gonna wrap us up take it home take it home uh anyway uh so this is tumble reads where we just like talk about whatever and You can all like link to the books we're actually reading in the notes, which you can find at smutreport.com slash podcast. And you can talk to us on socials or like follow us on wherever you get your podcasts and tell your friends and enemies.
00:28:05
Speaker
Until then, keep it smutty, folks. Keep it smutty, folks. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Smut Report!