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6. The Telling of Our Story - Part 2
25 Plays3 months ago
Today we get to share what life has been like for us since that fateful Friday the 13th. Spoiler alert: it's been incredible. <3
We're grateful you're here! If you like what you’re hearing, you can follow us on Instagram: @soulpodthepodcast. You can also email us directly at [email protected].
Hosts: Christina Bell & Molly Wilde
Music: The Confrontation, by Jonathan Boyle, licensed from Premium Beats by Shutterstock
Editing: Molly Wilde
Disclaimer: The purpose of this podcast is for entertainment and enjoyment. We are not professionals in any regard. We do not have professional knowledge, training, or education in physical health, mental health, or spiritual matters. Any suggestions or recommendations made during our episodes should be independently researched by the listener before considering implementation, or better yet, listeners should ignore everything we say. We cannot be held responsible or liable for anything we say, or any actions taken by any persons as a result of listening to our podcast episodes. Stay safe, stay informed, stay smart.
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Transcript
Surprising Voicemail from Michigan
00:00:24
Speaker
It was, like, somewhat late. The closing time at that store was 9 p.m., and so I think it was, like, 8.30 almost, or thereabouts, 8.30 p.m. I look at my phone randomly, and I saw a missed call from an unknown number in Michigan and a voicemail.
00:00:43
Speaker
and I just like immediately like my eyes like whipped up to my manager and I was like she called she left me a voicemail I have to go and I ran to the back I ran to the store room in the back and listened to the voicemail and I heard her voice for the first time and I literally doubled over in disbelief I was just like I cannot believe this I cannot believe this And, um, I listened to it, like, multiple times in a moment, and then I needed to go back out to the front of the store, obviously. But I said to him, I was like, she left me voicemail. I need to call her back. Oh my God. Ah! You know, just, like, freaking out. And he was like... and what a Anybody who's worked retail knows that with the closing shift, you don't actually get to clock out when you close the store. You gotta clean up and spend, like, at least an hour putting stuff back together. And, uh, you know, that's... that... uh was what i was supposed to be doing that day but as soon as we closed at nine he was like go home go call her go talk to her and i was like thank you and i ran out the door and i was like it was a short train ride back to my apartment it was like 15 minutes but the whole time i was just like oh so jittery just like my god live wire live wire like literally um and like listening on repeat to the voicemail on the train
00:02:04
Speaker
And was just like it just felt like it took forever. you know And it was even just the shortest and walk in the world back to my apartment after I got off the train. And I was just like as like, I have to get into my apartment. I have to sit down before I try to call back as soon as I sat down in my apartment.
Emotional First Conversation
00:02:25
Speaker
And she answered. And we talked for, fuck, what, two hours, three hours that night? I don't remember, but I know it was a long time.
00:02:35
Speaker
yeah And I was so nervous to get the call back. I was so nervous. oh And and i I just remember hearing your voice and not not knowing what to make of it. And I think you were just as nervous as me because I had a hard time gauging your personality and things like that based on you know our conversation and how you were talking to me and stuff. And i and that's not something that you could even probably have picked up in such a short time anyway, um even if I was totally calm.
00:03:12
Speaker
oh yeah But I felt kind of the same way, but at the same time, I was just like, this is happening. This is real. We were talking. We were connecting. We talked about music. We talked about life. You asked me like the question you always wanted to. You know, you you asked me if I've had a good life.
00:03:33
Speaker
but If you were happy. I was able to say yes, you know. and I think probably my need for specificity probably said something like, there's always nuance in everything, but yes.
00:03:49
Speaker
you know, and, and just to be able to that was just like such peace and such a release there. And I, I said that I hoped that we would be able to keep talking and I think that you were a little bit like, well, of course, um like, duh.
00:04:08
Speaker
And, you know, we added each other on Facebook. I think I then drew drew your attention to the fact that my friend had reached out to you and if you hadn't seen his message. And you looked at it and you were like, Oh, um, and you know, put it together. That was what that was about. Yeah. Like, get like, I think it, it kind of hit me at that moment that, Oh my God, they had sent me a friend request and I ignored it. And like, yeah you know, but you had no reason to,
00:04:39
Speaker
No, I know who that was and what it was for. So it's it makes sense. I was not surprised. you know Do you remember um how much time had passed between him sending me the message and friend request and the time that we actually connected?
Building a Connection
00:04:55
Speaker
I want to say it had maybe been a week. Oh, I thought it was longer than that. No, it was it had only been because I didn't wait very long. I was not very patient. I um okay i think it really had only been a week. It had been like a Thursday or Friday.
00:05:08
Speaker
And then I waited through the weekend, didn't hear anything about, you know, you accepting the friend request or responding to the message. And I was like, all right, time for plan B. And that's when I called the bishop. That makes sense. Yeah.
00:05:21
Speaker
So yeah, after that, um we just talked on the phone all the time, didn't we? Like hours, hours and hours. I don't remember how frequently, but I would almost say at least every couple of nights, maybe once or twice a week. Yeah. Whenever we were able to, but like we still also, you know, did message every day, like not ah like all day, usually. Cause we both had work in school. Well, I had school, but you know, it was,
00:05:50
Speaker
pretty constant communication, at least via message, with like you know the occasional hours-long phone call thrown in there. Because there was just so much ground to cover.
00:06:07
Speaker
Yes. I mean, a lot of catching up. I remember, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I just remembered this one thing. Oh boy.
Emotional Letters from the Past
00:06:16
Speaker
When you got the letter that was sent with you, when you when I placed you with the agent in the car,
00:06:24
Speaker
I sent the letter with you and he sent it um to your adoptive parents. And if it wasn't in that way, or whatever, it was the first letter that I ever sent them or something like that. But it was to, I think it was to you, but you read it to me yeah over the phone. I was just like, holy shit. yeah just Did you remember what, like, were you remembering what you had written or did you remember?
00:06:51
Speaker
I think that it sounded familiar, but I probably didn't remember details and stuff like that. But that was just so hugely impactful to think about this baby who I gave up.
00:07:09
Speaker
that, you know, I hate saying that, but like that I had to place for adoption, like never knew for sure I would ever be reunited with her. It's like, here it is full circle and she's reading you the letter that I wrote to her at that time. And it was just really very emotional. And I loved it. I loved that you did that.
00:07:30
Speaker
Yeah, i I don't remember if i it was another snooping session where I had found those letters because there was that one as well as any that you had sent that my adoptive parents received and kept. You know, where you were writing to them, but they were all kept together in like the same box um along with, I think it was a blanket that you had knitted.
00:07:57
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. but was being size one Everything was all kept together. And I like, again, don't remember if it was that I was snooping and found it, or if ah if my mom had just brought it to me one time. And I can't even remember if it was before or after I had turned 18, but you know, it was, she had kept all that stuff. And so,
00:08:25
Speaker
I obviously, especially after I turned 18, just felt very comfortable laying claim to those items and keeping them rather than having her keep them in her closet and took, I think, well, yeah, obviously I took them with me um to college, ah not the blanket, but the um but letters came with me and I actually had Glued them into a particularly large journal that I had. um And I still have it's still, it's on my bookshelf in my bedroom right now. But, you know, it was, I was just like, I don't want any chance of these, like.
00:09:06
Speaker
falling out of any like any journal or book or you know getting lost in some box and think getting lost in the shuffle of I'm one of those people who struggles to like throw away letters and cards and things and you know I have too many of them and I just neglect to even look through them and I was afraid of just losing those particular letters And that's why I was like, all right, I'm literally going to physically glue them into this big ass journal that I've done. I'm not going to lose them. There's no risk of it. Fortunately, you know, they were all one sided, so I could do that. And even like the multi page ones, I like, you know, glued them like face to face.
00:09:50
Speaker
I'll need to show you them. i Every single time I forget to show you them
The Art of Handwriting
00:09:55
Speaker
whenever you're out here. Oh my gosh, that's funny. I need to remember to do that next time. to so be able because like it's you it was your i mean I think you made a comment about how your handwriting you like focused on in particular when writing to them.
00:10:11
Speaker
because your handwriting was extremely neat at least i always had that like thought you know we were i don't know it was impressive i was like man why can't my handwriting be like this no dude i think yours is way nicer than mine i i never thought mine looked that good no i'm serious i never thought mine looked that good at all i'll yeah that's what i'm saying like i'll need you to look at these letters and see what I'm talking about because like it's extremely neat handwriting. and so you know ah Maybe it was that you were you know trying to be particularly neat when writing to them.
00:10:48
Speaker
But, I mean, I've seen your handwriting now, it doesn't look too terribly different. Maybe a little, like, if you're writing particularly fast, then it's a little less neat, but... Is it all in cursive? Um, I don't... I think so, but it's like very... it's the kind of cursive that's still super legible.
00:11:07
Speaker
Yeah, because I tend to not write in cursive at all anymore. I do sometimes, but rarely, really. My handwriting turns into cursive too often, just not even on purpose. me anyway yeah so But I think we started to we started to plan you you visiting.
00:11:26
Speaker
yeah i don't remember exactly how was it that i asked you if you'd want me to or do you remember how that subject even came up i feel like because i feel like i remember like thinking to myself I really want to visit. I'm not sure how or when or like when to even bring it up um because I didn't want to just again even though things were you know we meshed super well and we were just like immediately falling into a stellar rapport. I still was just like oh is it awkward if like we've only been talking for like a week and I say like I want to come visit her.
00:12:04
Speaker
you know No, I do not remember when it came up, like how fast it came up. um And I don't really remember how it came up. like you know If you asked me if I would want to, I don't remember.
Planning the First Visit
00:12:16
Speaker
I don't remember that stuff. Yeah. But it was it was pretty soon, I think, after we first started to talk. Probably was because literally it was a month and a half later. That's true.
00:12:28
Speaker
yeah because it was yeah As we said, it was um November 13th that we first started talking. and then you know Me being in school, I had no option except for to wait until the end of the semester and I had a break. and all Schools in Boston often take a whole month off around the holidays because of the winter.
00:12:50
Speaker
Not like it makes much of a difference. when Winter extends into April sometimes, but you know it's a really common thing, so I had so much time off. Yeah. and with my I mean, my work is also a school schedule, so it only makes sense to do it. Not a whole month, but at least not a couple weeks. and Like a week and a half. Yeah, it's usually at least seven weekdays. Yeah, it depends on when. So so it's usually it's seven to 10 weekdays depending if like where the holiday falls. So yeah, it was like, that was obviously the the choice to go with. Yeah. And so it was going to be a little bit like Christmas in our household was always very family oriented and I didn't want to even suggest spending Christmas away.
00:13:42
Speaker
when I was coming home from college. And so I opted for a week long period of time over New Year's. So 2015 going into 2016.
00:13:54
Speaker
yep and I remember you know I bought the plane ticket, made the plans, ah even had plans to you know spend some time with my biological dad while I was there. He even also joined joined us to meet me at the airport or joined you. not you didn't meet up together because y'all didn't get there at the same time. you got Yeah, him and his wife got there before. They were there And I was there late, of course, because I am always late for everything. But you know honestly, there's a part of me that's like glad that there was a bit of a staggering there, just because it would have been way too much you know to
00:14:35
Speaker
greet both of you at the same time and just so much there was so much emotion already but to be able to give it like you know 10 15 minutes before you arrived or however long it was um yeah because yeah i flew in i think it was a pretty early flight and but it was not a long one it was like an hour and a half maybe two hours something like that and he was there waiting at the baggage claim and it was It was a good reunion.
Reuniting with Biological Father
00:15:04
Speaker
i yeah There's some complicated shit with him, and it's hard to reminisce on those moments now, but you know it was really emotional. It was really intense. I felt nothing but love in his arms. That's awesome.
00:15:25
Speaker
And that's coming from, and I'm gonna cry again, of that's coming from, you know, my my ah perspective at the time where I had lost my father at 14. And didn't think I would have one again, ah you know yeah and you know? Which makes the complications all the more painful, but it doesn't mean that I don't cherish those moments or that I don't cherish his existence.
00:15:57
Speaker
God. Okay. Yeah. And then, uh, well, and then you arrived. Yeah. I was just going to say, you might practically ran into the baggage claim area. Yeah. No, I got off the elevator. So, okay. Just to give a quick overview. I had just had my son the day after your birthday. Yeah. And then it was only like three, four months old.
00:16:24
Speaker
Yeah. By Christmas time. Yeah. And he was in his you know car seat in the stroller and and we got off the elevator and I was carrying a couple of bags. I don't know, probably his diaper bag and something else. I don't remember exactly, but as soon as I saw you guys, I dropped my bags where I was and ran. And and I just, I like did not even give a shit about what the head in my arms. I'm like getting rid of this. I need to go now. Yeah.
00:16:53
Speaker
And I thank you, and I love that we have a picture of our first hug. I love it so much. Yeah. If you're comfortable by the time that this episode is going up, I would like to maybe post that in our Instagram. Oh, yeah. Oh, definitely. Oh, my God. I love that. We wanted to spend some time talking about this first visit, and one of the things that I distinctly remember was wanting to get the exact number of days it had been since I was picked up by the adoption agency and the day that I flew back to find them and visit them. And I now don't remember the number of days, but I did look it up and post it online with a collaged photo of a photo of her holding me in the hospital during you know the day and a half period
Homecoming After 8,000 Days
00:17:51
Speaker
of time.
00:17:51
Speaker
that she got to keep me there on the day that I arrived back in the Detroit airport. and It was ah over 8,000. I don't remember this. Yeah. eight number if i it For some reason, I'm feeling inclined to say 8,523. I don't know.
00:18:12
Speaker
I don't have time to go and scroll and look it up, but we'll see. but it doesn't It doesn't matter exactly, but yeah you can post that photo that shows the number. Yeah, I would like to. um Well, the photo didn't show the number, it was just the post. but i'll Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you did. No, i it was um it was just the post. but i By the time if we post that photo, then I'm going to go back and find that post, find the number, and include that with the caption. But yeah, I'm really grateful to whoever had the wherewithal to take a photo of that hug. Yeah, I don't even remember. I don't know who took it. Yeah, there was there there was a hug. I think ah his wife took a photo of him hugging me too. I got one of one of each.
00:19:02
Speaker
But yeah. Excuse me. That was a really cool fucking day. It was. It was. It was one of the best and a very busy one, I remember. Because we went literally from the airport to a restaurant for lunch. A really cool restaurant where I remember having an amazing poutine dish.
00:19:24
Speaker
um Yeah, there were called disco fries. oh yeah That's that actually actually my husband's favorite restaurant. Yeah, I do remember that. And I think I went out with my dad and his wife that night for dinner. I don't remember exactly. And I'm certainly not going to be able to have a perfect recollection of the order of events from that whole trip. but right I do remember you know us but ahead of time trying to sort of plan out a funny like quasi-divorce shared child a schedule between spending time with you and spending time with him. yeah I do remember going to see The Hateful Eight yeah with him in theater.
00:20:10
Speaker
Yeah. Oh man. It was, that was a, what a movie for me to see you with my biological father in like the first week of knowing him. I will say this as well. I think it's kind of weird to go see a movie with somebody who you haven't seen or he never even met you before that. Anyways, he never came to the hospital and stuff, but like to be reunited with your biological child, why would you go sit in a movie where you can't sit and talk to each other? It doesn't make any sense to me.
00:20:40
Speaker
I think he felt pretty limited by what he could do but that awesome based on the complications going on. Anyway, we don't have to get into that. Yeah, I would say like we really didn't get any one-on-one time except for him driving me to the airport ah alone.
00:20:59
Speaker
um And so you know I think that was you know just his suggestion of like here's something we can do that's not going to cause problems. Um, so I think that's why because like and I don't mind I actually I enjoy movies I obviously we've already established that I love Tarantino And so, you know, I was like so down to go see the hateful eight. Of course There was the um, I don't know if you saw the hateful eight. Did you I did I don't really remember it well I've seen it a couple times since but like it's been a while but the um
00:21:33
Speaker
trucking naked through the snow, like given a blowjob scene. like was a run that And I was just like, I mean, not gone to struggle with much like in the way of you know, that kind of cruelty, especially, I don't know, there was it was not like needless cruelty, it was very justified cruelty in the context of the story, I think, as far I hope I'm remembering it correctly. But like, I was like leaning forward in my seat, like elbows on my knees and just sort of like, just, it it was intense. And I was like, maybe I was deep breathing, maybe I don't know, but he like, put his hand on my back and lean forward. He was like, Are you okay?
00:22:16
Speaker
from
00:22:19
Speaker
I was like, at least he bothered to ask you that. That's cool. He's more sensitive than I think you realize. Nah. Nah. But ah I do remember that. And ah yeah, it was just sort of like, oh, yeah, no, I'm good. I'm fine.
00:22:39
Speaker
good um But yeah, like going to see that was a good ah good time, one of the one of the good times with him. and yeah we i mean We didn't do a whole lot that wasn't that was very crazy.
Bonding Through Activities
00:22:55
Speaker
We just hung out together. You showed me like your favorite spots, especially like your favorite restaurants because there were a lot of really cool ones that were open or recently opened. We had a great time and then um I remember In particular New Year's Eve was a little chaotic at least like I don't know chaotic according to my standards Which is it's a low bar for me um yeah i remember it Being like 7 p.m. And we were Like I've managed to ah not me ah like I think I did it Was it me that had suggested like hey if you want a haircut like and you don't want to pay it ask some the money You should go to Paul Mitchell. I remember going to Paul Mitchell that evening
00:23:38
Speaker
I think it was earlier in the day than that, though. but I remember it being almost dark. Well, at that time of day, it's dark at five. At that time, I'm sorry, at that time of year. Yeah, yeah. It's dark in Detroit, you know, in Detroit. Okay, so maybe it was like around five. hundred But like yeah, I remember it being like late in the day anyway, not like midday. But I think that poor haircutter was like the first person we cornered with our like, we need to tell you our story right now.
00:24:09
Speaker
like and But she loved it. She was so into it. She thought it was the coolest fucking thing. um like But she like, she cut your hair. I remember I was like, Hey, I don't feel too great about the shape of my bangs. Can you cut them for me and like, you know, just sort of make them a little more like the way I want. And so she did and didn't charge us for it. um I got a weird haircut and I had my hair dyed black, but I don't remember if I dyed it myself. I don't remember what haircut you got that day, but I do remember that you dyed your hair black. It's okay. But after that, we had a plan. Our plan for the evening, for the New Year's evening, was to go to a goth nightclub.
00:24:56
Speaker
huh Smalls, right? Yeah, Smalls and Hamtramck. Hamtramck. What a name for a town. It's Polish. I know. information But yeah, it was a cool spot. i like It's the kind of spot that like I would see myself going to if I had more of a social battery um like to go to regularly. Because I was just like, it's cool. It's not too upscale. I don't feel like out of place here. I remember the woman who had just black electrical tape over her nipples and like and was topless. And silver chrome like knee-high platform boots.
00:25:35
Speaker
and a skirt. Dude, I don't remember that. It was so hot. I think she had fishnets too. Like, it was so hot. Yeah, I remember she was dancing her ass off. No, it was great.
00:25:46
Speaker
um i wanted to I wanted to bring up one of the times that we were hanging out at my house, just you and me in the front room on the couch. I think it was the first night. I know what you're talking about. I remember. okay Molly started like that.
00:26:05
Speaker
Wait, wait. No, no, no. Back up, back up. No, no, no. No, no, no. You need to back up into the context. You have to give context. Okay, I don't know the context. And the context was that your hands were cracked from the cold and I had lotion that I'd brought with me. Oh, I don't remember that. And so I was like, let me put this lotion on your hands. And so I was like rubbing the lotion into your nuttles and like giving you a little bit of a hand massage. Like that, it's literally like that is how that started.
00:26:33
Speaker
Okay. Yes. So then I remember Molly started petting my arm. Yeah, like and we were like in conversation and like, every like we we had been talking but like, sort of fell into a lull because it was late. It was like midnight. Oh, we were loopy. Yeah. yeah so and we had just Sort of like stopped talking but not like it was like just sort of natural because of how tired we were. But like I was still just sort of naturally like like rubbing her forearms like not even with lotion at this point and what did you say out of nowhere to break the silence not even it was honestly fully impulsive and no thought ahead of time but as i was stroking her forearms i just from the depth of my soul came the words stroking mother
00:27:30
Speaker
I just started laughing at you like, what the fuck? I would totally say as well. So I was like, Oh my God. Yes. You realize that your immediate response was stroking daughter and you were cutting me back.
00:27:53
Speaker
oh lord oh my god that was so silly that was a critical moment for me because nobody i felt there were very very few people in my lifetime had i come across who were even remotely on the same wavelength as me in terms of silliness or silliness things that were funny and yeah. Comments that like would make most people look at me sideways. Like you're a weirdo. Yeah, but I had this and I had over time like developed like a tension around like I need to make sure not to say anything fucking weird ever. Yeah, yeah. But like around you that like tension just sort of melted away.
00:28:41
Speaker
to the point that I was like, I feel like there's a very low risk factor in just blurting this out. There has to be a stroking daughter. All right, well, um what else I want to say this. What? what what i was in the same vein going to comment on your little outburst mine i reminded you of this recently and you had no recollection of it but it was it was the same trip it was that same trip and your husband had gotten Trader Joe's mini cupcakes oh my god
00:29:19
Speaker
Yeah, I don't remember this. I know I remember bringing it up. It happened because it made me laugh so hard I fell on the floor. Okay. Yeah, she reminded me of this just a couple of days ago and I was just like, what? So, but again, it was yet another tally for me of like, this lady understands me.
00:29:41
Speaker
and so she was I think nursing her son on the couch and the kitchen and the like front room were like not separated they're you know there's just a counter ajos yeah cover like an island of cupboards kitchen it's all it's all one room so that was like a clear line of sight clear audible I walk over to the kitchen I open the mini cupcakes and you know just made a completely unconscious comment about like loving those cupcakes so much and completely deadpan dry just no like emotion behind the tone she just says smear the frosting on your nipples do not ask me why i would say some shit like that don't ask me why i said stroking mother like there's no like reason behind it it's just weird being weird
00:30:36
Speaker
in a safe space yeah like dude i have always been weird and i have been able fortunately to find people in my life that i could be weird around and like never had a problem with it and so i uh i'm glad that you know you turned out the same way Because we have too much fun together. There's so much. There's so much that is similar, like so much that, you know, at least in our case was very clearly nature versus nurture, like nature over nurture.
Shared Interests and Identity
00:31:09
Speaker
Yes. For sure. Things that are inexplicable, except for like, the DNA is strong.
00:31:16
Speaker
Yeah, like we both like Kat Von D when we first, like one of our first conversations, we were like, do you like Kat Von D? Oh my God, yes! You know? And the show, I think. Yeah, and we were both into tattoos. I will say like there's so much controversy around her right now and it's for a good reason and we both sort of have like shifted away from being like 100% on that train with her. Yeah. But this is 2014, 2015, 2016.
00:31:44
Speaker
um And, you know, she, I don't know, we both really were into her and we had her books, I think, too. um You had gone to a book signing of hers, yeah yeah which I was jealous of. Yeah, like, there was just so much, like, interest-wise. Do you remember the evening that we went to the bar with your friends?
00:32:11
Speaker
because you wanted them to meet me. Yes, yes I had a group gathering of people who I had in my life that I knew would be very interested in meeting you. yeah So um yeah, that was a cool night. who I remember her name who was sitting next to me that made that particular comment. Do you remember who it was? The comment about what? I was describing like the way that we managed to get reconnected, like the whole story.
00:32:38
Speaker
you And she had to stop me in the middle of my monologue to express how incredible it was that my tone of voice and like the way I gesticulated in talking was identical to you, huh which like i have I was speechless about it. I don't remember for sure. It could have been Barb. um a Oh, yeah, I think it was Barb. She was a little on the shorter side with shorter hair. Yeah, she had the short hair. That was Barb.
00:33:07
Speaker
I mean, I don't remember if anybody else made any other comments that evening, but, you know, her comment really stood out to me as just sort of like, wow, it's incredible. Like the kinds of things that make us so alike that you'd never even realize is possible. Yeah. yeah You know, the funny, the one of the funny things I remember also about the night that you were stroking mother.
00:33:33
Speaker
I was like, oh my God, I have to see your hairline in the back yeah on your neck like because I have a very distinct one and I wanted to see if you had the same one. Yeah. And like a W shape or an M shape. Yes. Yes. And you did. And I took a picture of yours and you took a picture of mine and we were just like, oh my God. I don't think in those weird things. The wild thing is I don't think I ever even like knew that there was anything distinctive about my hairline in the back.
00:34:01
Speaker
No one had ever said anything about it to me, you know? Yeah. I had had a ah haircut when I was around 19-ish. Was it when you buzzed your hair? No. was it Did you buzz it or did you just go straight bald?
00:34:18
Speaker
Say that again. I did that at one point, yes. I did that when I was 19. But that wasn't back then? No. Okay. There was, back when I worked at Harmony House, which was a record store in the Detroit area, there was a CD album cover of Katie Lang and she was in a funny pose. And everybody said that I looked like her and they would like, they would like say, do the pose, do the pose. Anyway.
00:34:45
Speaker
I remember going and getting a haircut around that time and it looked similar to her hair was like It was like a guy's cut, but a little longer on top. But the back, I had gotten it buzzed and they shaved my hairline to look more specifically in that shape. Like they made it straight edged, like W type thing. So I remember them playing into that. Cause I think I saw a picture of a haircut that was like that. And I was like, I could totally do that. Cause I have that kind of hairline. And so- But how did you even know that you had that kind of hairline?
00:35:21
Speaker
probably because I pulled my hair up and I turned around with a mirror in the bathroom and like looked at the back of my head or something. I don't know. do that i had it that yeah I knew that had that hair haircut hairline for a while. But anyway, that was just one of those things that I think we were kind of checking each other's hands out and seeing if we had the similar... Look at how we're both sitting with our hands right now. Yeah, like literally like elbow on the table, fist cropping her heads up, like literally. And then I mean like, there was, I mean, I feel like we were also focused on like bone structure too. Cause we both have like the weird fingers that are like- They can bend backwards. like Yeah. At the time, at the, when I was growing up, they called it double jointed. It's apparently like hyper mobile is what they call it. I hate it.
00:36:07
Speaker
I hate it. Whenever I would play piano growing up, my fingers got locked in that position so often. Yeah. And I had to like shake them out before I could like... Yep. I know. my Like just putting my hands in that position right now, my middle fingers are doing that. Yeah. Like I literally physically can't flatten my fingers unless I like flatten them against the table. Yeah.
00:36:27
Speaker
Um, yeah, I hate it. I honestly hate it. Sorry. No, it's a hypermobility thing. Uh, I've learned, but, um, that's and another neuro update version issue. Anyway. Uh, yeah. how that's Oh my gosh. I remember looking at, um.
00:36:47
Speaker
I don't remember if it was, oh, I think it was photos that you had, because we we did look at photos while I was there. um You were showing me photos that he'd you had been sent from my parents, um where I was like, oh my God, looking at it, because like they couldn't show any of their like faces head on. But right i thought like there was one that had like the side of my dad's face.
00:37:08
Speaker
huh And like and obviously I could see like I could see the photo I could recognize the photo runs Like the days that they took photos because they kept some of the same like string of photos Whereas in the same outfits in the same position in the same spot. Yeah, they probably made duplicate because a lot of times Yeah, they probably do and you just a lot of people just did duplicate photos for right right like ones that they had you know pulled out of those like strings of photos and like sent to you and I recognized them because I also used to love growing up I would just love looking at our family photo albums so I was super familiar with everything all the photos that had been taken of me when I was a kid
00:37:53
Speaker
And so seeing that, seeing, like, being able to recognize, like, that is my dad's face. I see the bedpost in the background. That's my parents' bedpost that, like, is still in the house. Like, they still own it. But, like, it just, things like that, where it's just like, man, there is, like, no question. It's not like we ever, not like we ever had any doubt, you know? There were way too many things lining up, but it was just cool getting confirmation after confirmation of the reality of it.
00:38:20
Speaker
And I also remember you showing me pictures of, uh, you and my bio dad from high school. Yep. I really enjoy those photos. They're cute. They're cute as hell. Um, but I loved in particular, the one I think was his senior photo where there was like a very, you just, you know, it's a senior photo, it's a school photo and you get like a straight on like clear view of his face. And I loved looking at it because I could see myself in him.
00:38:51
Speaker
too. You know, there's like, everybody I think jumps to the thinking that we look so much exactly alike, probably because we're both female.
00:39:02
Speaker
and it's easier to compare to people of the same gender in terms of similarities. But looking at his face, like in particular his smile, because I had grown up feeling so weird about my smile and the way that like the shape of my mouth pulled. like it just I was just, not not to say that anybody made me feel that way,
00:39:26
Speaker
But I just, I was like, Oh, what is this? What is, why does my, you know, why do my lips look like that? Like, you know, just like, what the heck? But looking at his smile and seeing like, that's where that comes from. It's exactly, it's the same exact fucking smile. ah hu And it was like, man.
00:39:43
Speaker
What is it about growing up not knowing who you came from and why you look the way you do or behave the way you do or have the interests that you do?
Exploring Adoption and Identity
00:39:53
Speaker
What is it about not having that that makes a person so insecure? Because I think if I had known him growing up and seen him and known I got my dad's smile, I might not have even thought twice about it.
00:40:09
Speaker
here I don't know. I don't know for sure. it's the we We'll never know like there's you know. There's only one way that the past happened. yeah i mean I can imagine that feeling, you' know not knowing where you're where you come from, who you come from, how it would be really difficult to have a grasp on your identity, you know be that you don't look like the family you're growing up with or you know and i don't any hate for them or anything. Yeah. And that was the thing. like you know for On like the surface, I certainly did look like my adoptive family because they kind of set it up that way.
00:40:46
Speaker
Yeah, that is true. It went as far as dark hair. Blue eyes. Blue eyes, maybe. Pale complexion. They're not because they get very, very tan. I don't get tan. Right, neither do I. I'm very, very Irish Scottish. like I turn red and then I go back to white.
00:41:10
Speaker
Um, yeah, like my forearms, because they're in the sun all the time. Yeah. Um, they tend tend to tan, but not, I don't stay in the sun long enough for them to get dark. Yeah. The rest of me is still white. The hair and the eyes were like kind of the only thing that made me look like them. And obviously when you're a baby, you're a little amorphous. So like, you just don't totally look like a whole person, and obviously. Right. And so, but everybody who saw me when they were You know, when I was first brought home with them, they always would say, like, you look, like or would comment to me later in life, you know, you look so much like her. It was crazy. it looked You look so much like your mom.
00:41:52
Speaker
And I remember in the back of my head, being like, yeah, yeah. Well, that's the only person they knew. But they used to talk about it like it was so miracle, not like it was important. I don't know. But they were just like, oh, it just... Not like it was on purpose. It was meant to be. No, not that it happened on purpose.
00:42:14
Speaker
I know, because I don't think they knew that it happened on purpose. No. So the adoption agency had actually taken a photo that I had had of me and him, of of me and your dad, and like used it to compare to people that they had waiting for babies to adopt. like They picked their profiles out based on the appearance, the physical appearance yeah of looking similar to us. So then I was presented with three profiles to pick from. Without the photos, without any identifying information. Right. right yeah But the agency had done the matching up based on the appearances of yeah the people. So yeah they gave me their just basic outline profiles of who they like what kind of what kind of people they were, what kind of lives they lived and things like that, where what kind of area they lived in and what kind of jobs they had, et cetera. So I based my choice off of a lot of the information in that profile.
00:43:15
Speaker
yeah But it's funny to me that that people were like, oh, it's a miracle. yeah No, it was very intentional. That was one of the things that like was so interesting to learn about after a lifetime of being told that like the similarities of my appearance to my adoptive family was some indicator that like God intended for me to live with them or be with them or grow up with them.
00:43:43
Speaker
because I was told that like non-stop to the point that I like even as like a child who like or as a teenager even who like didn't not believe in the church but didn't like I was like not you know totally into it like I've said like being told that repeatedly it just made me feel like ah shut up you're being you sound stupid like
00:44:06
Speaker
that doesn't like It just never, I don't know, it never like ah landed well with me because I was just like, I don't know. I don't know if I believe that man. And then to find out, no, it was fully on purpose. believe It was intentional. Yeah. and You know, all the way down to like, you know, the way that you selected them based on obviously other things too, but like their types of jobs and like income ranges and well to do neighborhoods or neighborhood that they lived in. Whereas that was another thing that was like, oh, you're so blessed. You're so lucky. God meant for you to come to us because we can take care of you. We have all this money, blah, blah, blah. That sounds very flippant and dismissive when I say it that way. But you know, that was the attitude that was very pushed or that was the narrative that was pushed.
00:44:56
Speaker
Yeah. When I was growing up and it was just, you know, to find out like, oh no, this person who brought me into the world had this information, not the specifics, but the, you know, enough that enough information to make a very logical, rational decision to do this. So it's like, in the end, ah based upon these claims from my childhood, I think that we can rationally deduce that you are God.
00:45:23
Speaker
Me?
00:45:27
Speaker
Wow. What do I do with that? I don't even know what the fuck. Yeah, just to, I mean, I am sure that I could spend a whole episode talking about the ways in which it was difficult to grow up not understanding why I am the way I am, because I was so different from the people that I was being raised with. But in the end, that's part of what's been so healing about this experience of getting to reconnect, getting to spend so much time getting to know each other, yeah and being extremely conscious and intentional with it. Yeah.
00:46:13
Speaker
where it was just like, oh, like this is just my bio mom. like She's just another person that I don't really like focus on. it It's like, no, no, no. like You don't understand the intensity of the need for that connection until you've experienced the lack. boom And you know we have made... I feel like I'm lucky and glad to have been able to be fully Mentally conscious and present like rue it all to be like you are experiencing what you have Dreamed about your whole life now, so you better pay attention and remember
00:46:53
Speaker
and learn from this. And I feel glad to have done so and paid attention and made sure to remember the details so that we can tell this story and be able to really relive it. Every time we tell it, it makes me so grateful all over again.
00:47:16
Speaker
And you know we've had such incredible experiences ever since then. Yeah, and we're coming up on nine years. yeah And it's you know we both recognize how rare this is and how lucky we are to have this relationship together. um Because as you mentioned, you know near the beginning of this conversation, that you may have known a couple of people who were adopted that found their um biological parents and just did not have a good connection with them. i um I know one person who, I'm not going to name names or give any specifics, but I know one person who has
00:47:53
Speaker
who has known their biological parent and not felt connected to them. you know But it was a little different where they always knew them and not you know didn't like discover them later in life or anything. And then another who you know spent money on like a PI trying to find their biological mother only to find out that she died, I believe, of alcohol poisoning in 2006.
00:48:21
Speaker
ah um But you know that person did find their biological brother, half-brother, who remembered her. you know So it wasn't like the the search was fruitless entirely. But there was, ah honestly, in finding you and through all of that, I could not talk to this person about it because they were so sensitive.
00:48:47
Speaker
ah about it. And it drove a wedge that never quite... um Not that our friendship was like anything to try to salvage over that kind of a ah a rift, but yeah it made it so...
00:49:05
Speaker
we just couldn't see ITY about anything. I wasn't comfortable talking about you, but I couldn't talk about anything else because it was taking up so much of my like life and my heart. yeah and so We just sort of drifted And we no longer, I mean like other things happened. There was a lot with this person that was not great, but ah you know, we no longer speak. but But yeah, like those were two people, and I don't think I know anybody else who's even adopted, but those are two people who I know did not have positive experiences.
00:49:45
Speaker
Right. There was a lady that I knew for a little while who I found out had had a son that she placed for adoption and then they reconnected. And I think that they were they were sort of in a relationship of sorts for about a year. And then they kind of fell off and just didn't keep in touch with each other. That's one. And she and she was really kind of like,
00:50:10
Speaker
Don't expect this to like last. Don't expect her to always be around and want to be in your life you know and that kind of stuff. and I just knew based on our experience you know so far, and that was probably only a year or two into it maybe, or maybe less, I don't know, but you know based on our personalities, our relationship that we were starting to develop and stuff, I was just like, nah, nah. We're like friends for life for sure. I mean, yeah you know it's it's it's really strange to try to develop a relationship with a biological child that I was not able to raise as I was also a new mother and learning how to be a mother to my my baby that I had just had.
00:50:59
Speaker
at the same time as you came into my life. And so it was funny because I'd say to people, like I became a mother twice in the same year. yeah you know But it's like, i knew you know I mean, I've learned since our reuniting that you didn't want a mother that yeah if you had already been raised and da-da-da. And so that that's been like hard for me because I've always had an innate need or desire to help people all the time. And so I like try to always you know give advice and just do things to help people in any way that I can. And
00:51:37
Speaker
that you not wanting that has been one of the harder things for me to like adjust to in terms of how I behave around you. Because the way I behave with you, I behave like that with everybody. And I've never had anybody complain to me like, God, just stop giving advice all the time or whatever. I don't know, whatever. But anyways, it's just been interesting the way that we've our relationship has developed and how we can be completely honest with each other. I mean, it's sometimes it's been a challenge because we're afraid of hurting the other's feelings or other, you know, things like that. But eventually we find a way to talk about whatever it is and work through things together. um But like, one of the like the coolest things about our relationship is because you know, we both being very literally
00:52:25
Speaker
mother and daughter, but having challenging personal mother and daughter experiences ourselves separately, yeah um have been able to then consciously turn around and treat each other differently.
00:52:39
Speaker
yeah um and just be very, just like, it, there's a part of me that wants to call it like breaking generational curses, you know, breaking cycles, breaking the pattern of neglect or abuse or, you know, just general poor treatment and not to fall into those. And it's, like I said before, like, we don't have a mother-daughter dynamic we have a very different dynamic. And so that I think makes it easier to be able to let go of the, I have to fill this particular role with this person, um you know, and have it be like, I think that's what makes a generational ah pattern or trauma or curse or whatever you want to call it. So hard to break is because usually it there's no irregularity in the cycle. Every next generation is raised by the previous one.
00:53:37
Speaker
um And the treatment just rolls over constantly, but we didn't have that. We had two very separate experiences. You made the conscious decision not to let me be raised in the same environment, but I still had a challenging environment of my own. huh And we came back together.
00:53:56
Speaker
Well, it's funny that even though we had different experiences, we had some similar ones where we were both able to um be there for each other through some stuff. And like I think that was the thing I wanted to say earlier too, is this relationship, we we both needed it for maybe for slightly different reasons, but we both needed each other in our lives.
00:54:22
Speaker
and we've been there for each other through a lot of things already in nine years. And honestly, you know knowing you, having you in my life has um helped me be a better mother to my son and that I probably, I don't know, I probably would have been a completely different kind of mother in some ways if you hadn't come into my life, but I think that everything that you've taught me has helped me improve myself and my, you know, and not just as a mother role, I mean, improve myself in my my way of thinking and my way of being, um trying to be more intentional and more aware of like,
00:55:06
Speaker
certain thought patterns and beliefs and things that I've had and and you've helped me break those cycles within myself in my way of thinking and stuff. And that's awesome and it's priceless and I'm really grateful for it. I'm speechless.
00:55:24
Speaker
I think that um it's also because it's not not that I have not had my own challenges in those areas and I think that it's very much a I'm trying to learn to break my own thought patterns and you know limiting beliefs and talking to you about it just to be you know just being very vulnerable about like the things I was going through in therapy or the things that I you know was learning in whatever way that we sort of came upon the realization or like this almost not entirely unspoken but almost somewhat somewhat unspoken realization that we can grow together and like anything that I learned
00:56:10
Speaker
I feel like I then have the ability to turn around and help you learn and vice versa. And we not only have like the drive to do that, but like the or like we don't we not only have the willingness to do that, but the drive like also um to help push each other in ways that we can't seem to do ourselves or nobody else is willing to do in our lives.
00:56:38
Speaker
yeah Yeah, I think, you know, everyone in in my life are not merely as self-aware and, I don't know, fixated on, I don't say fixated, but like focused at all on self-improvement or any of those things. So that's been one challenge for me because I feel like as a human being, I'm growing and changing.
00:57:03
Speaker
and and trying to improve myself all the time, but I'm not getting the same kind of thing with my other relationships. And it kind of puts a strain on things sometimes with my other relationships in my life. There's a definite um disconnect when that happens, when you sort of grow at a rate that is disproportionate to the people around you. It's sort of a natural thing that happens, unfortunately, but yeah.
00:57:32
Speaker
I wanted to ask, before we wrap up here, what are your favorite couple memories, two or three memories, of the times that we have spent together since finding each other? And I guess it doesn't have to be in person, too, if you have memories of, like, phone calls or messages, because, you know, there's been so little time proportionately together since we live in different states. Yeah. and But I want to know. and
00:58:05
Speaker
you know It's kind of catching me off guard with this one a little, but um I definitely brought up the two that I thought were the funniest that was like stroking mother in the hairline situation. But but like from you know but after that trip,
00:58:22
Speaker
Yeah. i The very next time that we saw each other after that was when I flew out to boston to Boston to see you graduate. And that was one of the highlights of my life for sure, to be able to be a part of that. And I met your bio... I mean, your... her adopted mother and stepdad and sister. yeah um That was really cool.
Graduation and Family Connection
00:58:47
Speaker
And to feel like comfortable and like welcomed by them, you know yeah but definitely a big moment of pride for me to see you. And you met Granny. Oh, yes. And you met Granny. Oh, yeah. yeah but She's a cool lady. She's such a cool lady. um But yeah.
00:59:08
Speaker
Uh, what else? go I mean, I know we will certainly tell more stories in the future, so don't put too much pressure on yourself to pick the perfect one. Okay, how how about this one? Nothing embarrassing, I hope. I don't know. Tell it anyway. If it's too bad, I'll just cut it out and be like... yeah yeah so was it sensor You have to remind remind me which visit this was. Okay. Was it here or there? It was at my house. Okay.
00:59:38
Speaker
There was a time I was sitting in the kitchen. I don't remember how we even stumbled on this, but you were saying something like, I think women should go topless all the time. And so I just like took off my top and my bra and I was sitting there topless in the kitchen with you. And you were just like, sweet.
00:59:58
Speaker
Oh my God. I don't remember that. You don't remember that. I don't remember that, but I fully believe you. I fully believe you because I say you do think that women should go topless all the time. like I have an hour topless and I was like, whatever. And I think did John even like, was John, oh, you don't remember the situation. So you wouldn't know. I'm trying to remember if John was there and walked through and just was just like, whatever.
01:00:26
Speaker
or something. He didn't care. I just take so much in stride. It's crazy. Anyway, that was one of the funny things that had happened between us. I don't remember. Maybe that was like the summer of our first like birthday celebration. Yeah, his first birthday, in my 24th. Yes. So I think that That that was then I think that and that's what I was gonna say That's when I thought it was but I I just couldn't remember for sure You could have been in you know in there baking his cake that you made for him or something I don't know But you were standing in the kitchen with me and I was sitting in front of him feeding him like, you know spoon feeding him or whatever And then I got margarita drunk at my birthday Oh god
01:01:11
Speaker
Yeah, somebody came out with a sombrero and I didn't know what was happening. I was just like confused with nachos and a cake in front of me. I'm so glad we have pictures of that night. That was so fun. Yeah, that was a great touch.
01:01:27
Speaker
Um, and and now I'm trying to think about some of my favorite memories, because there are so many. There are so many. One that actually has, I've remembered recently and really just, it's like warmed my heart a lot, was 2020. And you came out, i was I went through so much, so fucking much in 2020, and you needed to come out here and be with me, despite a global pandemic.
01:01:53
Speaker
Well, do you remember that I had had a plane ticket was already purchased for March? Yeah. For my spring break. And then everything shut down. Yeah. Everything shut down. And then I was able to reschedule it for later on. And I was just like, okay. You came out for July 4th.
01:02:14
Speaker
my very next break would have been that like a long enough break would have been the 4th of July break, which is exactly two weeks long all the time. So I was like definitely coming. I didn't even care. And I just wore my mask like everybody else and you know did it.
01:02:30
Speaker
Yeah, and it was such a great trip because, I mean, we were limited in some ways, but like we went to the drive-in theater. On the 4th of July night. On the 4th of July, we watched Ghostbusters and Deadpool, which was great. We spent a lot of time hanging out in my bedroom with the air conditioning on blast, playing Mario Kart while both drunk and high.
01:02:54
Speaker
ah ah Drunk and high on weed tequila that I had gotten from a guy I hooked up with. um but he And we went to the top of Mount Wachoset. Oh, yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. One of the stops that we did in the car on the way up, and we were overlooking something where we pulled over. We were at like a scenic pull off. Yeah. And had that little bit of a psychic moment together. I don't know if you remember. I don't remember the details, but I do remember you getting really emotional.
01:03:33
Speaker
Oh, well, that wasn't it. That wasn't necessarily emotional. I just remember being excited about like, holy shit. I just had a psychic moment. It was like, um we were both walking to the car and you were sort of behind me. And i I thought to myself, this is probably the longest that she's ever seen my hair be. And we got in the car and you said, I think this is the longest I've ever seen your hair. And I just went, what?
01:04:01
Speaker
I just found that right before we got in the car. i think you know and we're trying I'm trying to figure out and learn about all the different Clares now, but like one word somebody used recently was um telepathic. and I started to think about that and I was like, okay, I don't know exactly what Claire that falls under, Claire cognizant maybe, because it's a thinking, like a knowing.
Psychic Connection Moment
01:04:26
Speaker
ah knowing yeah um But it's like, I literally think of things that happen right before they happen or as they're happening. Or I figure read your mind, literally. You might have read my mind, or I might have read your mind as you were thinking it before you said it. So I don't know. It doesn't matter. It could go both ways.
01:04:45
Speaker
by um Yeah, I do remember that instance of having like a psychic connection, ah which was really fun. But what I was thinking of, and what I was reminiscing about was, because I think that was on the way down the mountain, because on the way up the mountain, the way that we had gone, we had stopped at the scenic pullover, we were like standing on a stone wall and taking photos, and you got choked up, and you were crying a little.
01:05:16
Speaker
And I was like, are you okay? Like, is everything okay? And you were just like, I just can't believe I'm here with you. h And it was like, it like made me cry a little. I don't know if I remember that.
01:05:32
Speaker
i remember it I remember it very clearly. and i i even well The thing that sparked the memory was I was looking at old photos and found the photos ah from that day that I took. um Specifically, I took a photo of our Birkenstocks that we were both wearing and you know the views and then the selfie that we took together.
01:05:54
Speaker
on the mountain and we went to the top and it was beautiful because you really don't have mountains where you are. So it was pretty fun to be able to be like, let's go, let's go get high. Literally, but physically, geographically, topographically high.
01:06:12
Speaker
yeah um One of these days I got taken to Mount Washington. Wait, that was in Mount Washington? we that was That was Mount Wachusett. Oh, okay. um And Mount Washington's in like northern New Hampshire. Oh. um It's like a four hour drive north. um It's the tallest, tallest me mountain in um oh on the East Coast. If I'm wrong about that, I feel stupid. But it's either on the East Coast or in New England.
01:06:41
Speaker
Either the way, it's a really, really tall ass mountain and ah it's fun. it's a It's a fun, scary drive to drive to the top eight miles with hairpin turns and no guardrails. Oh goodness, that sounds like Tennessee. Oh yeah, that doesn't surprise me. But yeah, like I'll need to take you there sometime. But yeah, that's that's one of the memories that comes to mind. and then another memory I mean there's like like I keep saying because it's hard there's too many um okay I got two two more both occurring in 2022 actually uh so the first one was 2020 as well or 2022 2022 sorry thank coffee
01:07:24
Speaker
Because we saw each other twice during that year. The day when you came out here for your birthday in October, which is the best time to come to Massachusetts, and we went on your birthday to the Stirbridge Village Halloween event. That was so fun. Even though it was really, really physically taxing because there was just so much walking to do, but it was still really fucking cool. Yes, it was. I had a lot of fun that night.
01:07:51
Speaker
Yeah, we both looked like such badass bitches. Witch bitches. Oh, yeah. um We got dressed up. We didn't like do costumes, but we like got up got dressed up in our witchy goth finery and you know went to the- I had the best birthday day with you. the the Was it lunch or bru breakfast brunch? Something like that. we We went to lunch on your birthday.
01:08:19
Speaker
because we were going to be spending the evening at Sturbridge Village, so we i couldn't do dinner that day. But then the next day, ah we did Sunday brunch, both at Glen Farmer, both of those meals, which I think I have mentioned in the first episode is my favorite restaurant, ah especially favorite restaurant here in this area. But yeah, the That day, it was those like circus performers, basically, but like dark, demonic, vampiric circus performers. Oh, they were so cool. Yeah, there was like fire dancing um and like a trapeze artist. Yeah, I'm not remembering some other, but it's also a really cool spot, Sturbridge Villages. so Yeah. um Really cool. I like going back. I've come back a few times since since then. um
01:09:13
Speaker
But we also, the other, the last little, little tiny memory was um when I was there ah for my 30th birthday, which was also 2022. And I think it was the day before my birthday that I had resolved to make a beuf beauguignon. Oh, yes.
01:09:33
Speaker
Do you remember the comment you made when you tried it? Like an orgasm in my mouth. Yeah. Because it was literally that good. It made me laugh so hard.
01:09:45
Speaker
But it is, I really i love making beef burgundy for the non-French speakers out there. It's just the most incredible beef stew, and it's one of my favorite things to make and eat. The flavors are so complex and amazing. I love it.
Cooking as a Bonding Activity
01:10:03
Speaker
I love French cooking. Oh my God.
01:10:05
Speaker
but like But yeah, like that was fun. We don't do a whole lot of like cooking together or me cooking for you because we love to just go out to our favorite places, our favorite restaurants whenever we're together. And that's like one of the things I love meant because I would love to just like cook together or, you know, do that like cook for you. and But is it's hard when we just see each other so infrequently.
01:10:35
Speaker
ah because I and don't know, that's one of the ways I used to identify as a kitchen witch specifically and I guess I still do ah whenever I do cook because I don't cook super often anymore, um not permanently, just sort of, you know,
01:10:51
Speaker
fell out of the habit of it and you know it's as a kitchen which one of the very important things to me is to cook for people that I love as an expression of love and I think that's what makes it so orgasmic.
01:11:06
Speaker
um okay yeah Lots of good memories though. i yeah Maybe we should next time that we do get to visit, regardless of where, whether it's here or there, we should try to make a plan to cook rather than go out, just to be able to do it. Let's kitchen witch together.
01:11:25
Speaker
that you What's the name of the restaurant we like to go to when I'm out there? The Mexican? ah That's Acapulco's, but I don't live close to it anymore. Right. um Then we went to that other. An absurdly far distance to go, but like the other one is like, what's the fancy one?
01:11:48
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Remember the fancy one? Yeah. Um, Timo's call. Okay. Um, which I always feel awkward saying, cause I'm like, it's definitely like a blend of three different words that doesn't totally work. But it's, despite that, an incredible restaurant. It was insane. It was so good. The first time we went, wait, have we only gone one time?
01:12:10
Speaker
Yeah. we go they only but Okay. And I was gonna say like, we didn't go the last time you were here. But yeah, because I've been there many other times with my other friend who has also just suggested that we go again because my birthday is coming up. So looking forward to that. ah But yeah, Tema's call incredible restaurant as well in the Boston Metro West area. If you are there and need a good restaurant recommendation, let me give it to you now.
01:12:36
Speaker
um but There's one in Framingham, there's one in Dedham, and I think there's a handful of others maybe. But I've been those two, and ah they're great. We have been so distracted, in this episode at least toward the end of this episode, I guess that was inevitable. We're you know we're only human and also we're riddled with ADHD.
01:12:58
Speaker
um But this is this has been our story, and it is not over. Oh, no, it's not, for sure. And now that we're working on this project together, I look forward to like getting to be able to see each other and do this in person, and you know to be able to have more experiences together, and especially a lot more like you know the intentional kinds of experiences that we've talked about. we've talked you know We have mentioned before on previous episodes about wanting to be able to celebrate sobbets together or full moon together um you know to be able to cook together. you know we I would say we started with the last time you were here, which is actually something I do want to get into more in detail in a future episode. but like
01:13:48
Speaker
when we, you know, had joint shamanic Reiki session together was really, really incredible experience and the cacao that we were served. It was a wonderful experience. Like I really do. I know that I put that on the list, but like I feel so strongly about it. That is something that we should talk about because that was like such a short trip out here for you, but it was like so impactful.
01:14:16
Speaker
Yeah, it definitely was we we needed to do some very specific communicating and we I think we got it done I think we did we really did and I mean like we it was I mean again we'll certainly go into it in detail in a future episode, but we had such a short time to plan it and But I was like, we got to make the most of this. We got to figure out how we're going to be most effective. I don't want to get distracted. I was like, you know, she still has not met some of my friends out here because I was like, we cannot spend time doing that. We have to focus. We have to talk. We have to figure some stuff out. And we managed to do so using some really intentional, really powerful tools and techniques and methods. And it was really, really transforming. And so, yeah, I would love to talk about that. In a future episode, but I look forward to more of those types of visits too because you know to be social is great But I think we both have sought and do still seek deeper Interaction not just like not explicitly like with each other, but you know in general. That's what we both need and crave and
01:15:29
Speaker
And you know now that we've sort of established like there is a way that we give each other support in our growth and you know facilitate and accelerate each other's growth, you know to be able to lean into that in our in-person time together is going to be just absolutely, I don't know, I really look forward to seeing what kind of change we can affect in each other
Future Plans for Connection
01:15:54
Speaker
with that.
01:15:54
Speaker
Mm-hmm because I would like it's you know, we're we're leaning into the witchy shit We always we always have been that way or at least you know for years now but like we're now like man we got it, you know, it's all about attention we got to put purpose behind it and Yeah, I need to find you, you know more ways to incorporate it into my daily routine but I, one thing I would love to do with you next time we visit, next time I visit or wherever, you could do it here too, because I did it here myself. A sound therapy or sound, I don't know if you call it sound journey or whatever it is, but
01:16:36
Speaker
And they had singing bowls and all kinds of different chimes and all that stuff I wanted. Yeah, well, that's what my friend did when we did the Journey, the Shimano Great Key. She often facilitates sound journeys. So it'd be pretty easy to be able to set that up if you're, you know, next time you're coming in here, but that you found somewhere out there, someone else. Oh, yeah. The one place I told you about that is like they do yoga, but it's also they have
01:17:10
Speaker
massage and Reiki and I didn't get a massage with Reiki there, um but I did go there during some of my worst stressful moments last year um regarding that situation with my mother. and um And I had a sound therapy session that was really amazing.
01:17:29
Speaker
And like, I want to do that again. hu But to do that with you would be super cool. Yeah, agreed. Agreed. Yeah, there's a lot. I mean, I'm sure we could to like compile a laundry list of things that we want to tick off, like a bucket list almost.
01:17:47
Speaker
Yeah, especially just the just the simple at home things, the like full moon ritual together, you know, kitchen witching together ah but or a Sabbath ceremony and celebration together would be amazing too. Yes. Yeah.
01:18:08
Speaker
i And now that we have this podcast that we'll be able to share our experiences in doing those things, makes it almost a little easier to like be like, all right, let's let's definitely do it. like Let's pull the trigger. Let's not just like put it off. um Makes it easier to prioritize for sure. yeah But yeah, it's been so fun to share this story with you. It has been. Yeah, I'm so excited to be able to release these episodes because ah at this point with how long we've recorded, it will be two episodes.
01:18:44
Speaker
more than likely it will need to be um but yeah uh thank you for hanging in there bearing with us through the long journey uh we hope that you've had a good time and hope that you found this sharing to be important or impactful we would love to hear from you you know We want to hear from everybody. I'm especially curious if there's anybody out there who has had an adoption experience of their own, yeah and whether or not they've found their biological parent.
01:19:19
Speaker
before I want to hear, you know i want it because it's I think it's important too for adopted people to connect and be like, hey, like what's your experience been like growing up in a different environment than... I'd have to say that we would um definitely invite questions, I think. I would love to hear your questions. Yeah, I'd love to hear what people what kind of questions people would have for us. Yeah, so for sure. I'm sure there's stuff that like I haven't even considered because someone's ever asked.
01:19:48
Speaker
It'd be really cool to, I feel like it would be a really enriching experience to be able to answer some questions in that regard, but also, like, if anybody's just as curious about something, we want to, you know, answer your questions. Definitely. It'd be really cool to do that. But yeah, this has been a wonderful, wonderful day.
01:20:07
Speaker
a wonderful wonderful couple of days to be honest. We'll see if I want to try to be sneaky about the fact that we've had to record this over two days or not. We'll see, but regardless, we're glad that you're here. We're grateful for you.
01:20:23
Speaker
And grateful to have this platform platform to be able to talk with each other about stuff and share it with people. so um I almost forgot. If you do want to write to us or have questions, please send it to soulpodthepodcast.gmail dot.com. That is our email and address. um And you can find us on Instagram, soulpodthepodcast on Instagram.
01:20:48
Speaker
But we're grateful and we're gonna see you next week. Thank you for being here. Bye, people! Bye!