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The New American Dream: How Definitions of Success Are Shifting in 2026
20 Plays20 days ago
Let's face it - the American Dream is bullshit now. Or maybe it always was, because it was never supposed to pertain to someone like me anyway. But here's the thing: even the people it WAS designed for can't achieve it anymore. My parents owned a home at 35. I'm celebrating not having roommates.
Here's what we're exploring about redefining success:
- How the American Dream shifted from consumerism (1895) to social mobility (1931) to complete fantasy (2026)
- The housing reality: $300k in 2012 → $500k in 2022 → $900k+ in California (studios are $2,500 somebody needs jail time)
- Why "making it" now means no roommates and washer/dryer in-unit (what was a stepping stone is now the goal)
- Gen Z refusing exploitation not work: the unpaid 7am meeting story and why boundaries aren't laziness
- New success metrics: community, mental health, work-life balance, experiences over material possessions
From understanding that productivity went up while wages stayed flat to recognizing that Gen Z watched millennials burn out in Girl Boss era for nothing, this episode gets real about systemic barriers. Growing Pains segment: I'm searching for housing in LA and it's breaking me.
Subscribe. Share. Remember that you're not failing - the system is broken.
Small steps, big healing. Keep growing! ✨
Join the conversation! What's your definition of success now? DM me on Instagram @YourCoachMari - I want to hear how this reality is affecting you!
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Transcript
Introduction to Growing with Sol Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
Hello beautiful souls and welcome back to another ins installment of the Growing with Sol podcast where we explore the moments and stories that shape who we're becoming. I'm Marisol and this is where I love to have real conversations about growth, self-discovery and learning to put yourself first.
00:00:16
Speaker
Whether we're diving into books that change our perspective or unpacking personal experiences that teach us something new, this podcast is for women who are done playing small and ready to embrace their own journey If you've struggled with putting everyone else first or battled self-doubt, you're in the right place.
Critiquing the American Dream
00:00:34
Speaker
This isn't about perfection. It's about the messy, beautiful process of growing into your child. So come grow with me.
00:00:43
Speaker
We are talking about the American dream in this episode. And let's face it, the American dream is a crock of shit at this point. Or maybe it always has been, because when you think about it, the American dream was never supposed to pertain to someone like me.
00:00:59
Speaker
It was never supposed to pertain to any person of color. But, you know, let's let's just let's just put a pin in that for a second, and put a pin in that. But essentially, when it comes to how we as people define success, which the American dream is essentially the pinnacle of success for the everyday person, in large part,
00:01:22
Speaker
Our definitions of success are shaped and molded by the cards we're dealt.
Historical Roots of the American Dream
00:01:29
Speaker
And again, let's face it, the cards that millennials and Gen Z have been dealt are absolutely horrible. They suck.
00:01:37
Speaker
So how are we supposed to achieve success and actually believe in that and like keep moving forward? Which, you know what?
00:01:50
Speaker
A lot of people... are not doing okay. And we can tell through our definitions of success and what making it now looks like. So if we look back at this notion of the American dream,
00:02:06
Speaker
We have our idea of what we think of when we hear that term or when we speak of that term. You know, we think no white picket fence, you know, house in the suburbs, lawn, nuclear family, and maybe you got a dog. Like, that's what we picture.
00:02:21
Speaker
And the thing about that terminology is that it can be traced back to about, like, 1895. And around that time, you the early nineteen hundreds it referred to Americans' penchant for consumer goods. Because of course it did. Of course it referred to American consumerism, even back then.
00:02:40
Speaker
You know? Americans, we we love a nice thing. We like having a thing in the United States, okay? But by 1931, it was re-envisioned to define this supposed ability that we have in the United States for social mobility if we worked hard enough. Again, the whole, like, bootstrap mentality is really tied to this, where...
00:03:02
Speaker
And I think this definition is definitely still an undercurrent of what we picture in terms of that like white picket fence, house in the suburbs, nuclear family, 2.5 kids, golden retriever. like That might be like the everyday American dream, but there's still this notion behind it of having class mobility, social mobility.
Is the American Dream Still Attainable?
00:03:25
Speaker
And the thing about it is that like, is isn't this still attainable? I think it has been in the past, definitely like during the boomer era. You know, boomers were definitely able to do this. Like, just look at if you're generation, I'm a millennial. So if you're like my generation, if you're an immigrant or like the child of immigrants, like your parents, like my parents definitely were able to do that.
00:03:49
Speaker
But in 2026, is the this attainable? Is this realistic? I'd say no. No, it's not. Not for the average person. And that's why our measures of success are shifting and are so different now.
Redefining Success for New Generations
00:04:03
Speaker
So let's look at the shift in perspective. Now, housing, because that's, well, again, the image in our minds with the American dream is a fucking house. So let's look at housing for a second. um You know, is it realistic?
00:04:20
Speaker
For some, again, context, I'm 35, gonna be 36 in a few months. My parents own a home by this time. Do I own a home?
00:04:31
Speaker
No. Do most millennials and anybody who's like Gen Z at this point own a home?
00:04:40
Speaker
Mochi is very opinionated about this because no, no we do not own homes. So what exactly is the goal? Like I have seen a lot of people online and again, with my own personal experience, like I can definitely relate that it is like like making it now is being able to afford your own place. Making it now is being able to not have to have roommates. Like that is the goal.
00:05:03
Speaker
Like our parents, were able to easily have their own places if they wanted to. where You know, maybe not like easily, but it was attainable to afford a home previously.
00:05:18
Speaker
Whereas now it's life goals to not have roommates. It's life goals to have your own like one bedroom, two bedroom if you're feeling rich, washer, dryer, in unit. What? Who can, who has that?
00:05:32
Speaker
That's luxury now. That's crazy. But that is now the definition of success, whether we realize it or not. Like weather whether we recognize that that is what we have come to aspire to, whereas before that was a stepping stone.
00:05:49
Speaker
Now, housing, as we all know, is crazy expensive. I feel like that's like I can go without even saying that, but justt let's be clear. It's crazy expensive. And In an article published by Letters in Science magazine from UC Davis, Alex Russell and Maria Sestito highlight this, and they highlight that the costs of property keeps new generations of Americans from owning homes.
00:06:15
Speaker
The average price of a home spiked from under $300,000 in over in more than $900,000. this is especially true in california where the median home price recently topped more than nine hundred thousand dollars I am in Los Angeles.
00:06:32
Speaker
I am born and raised in California. I've pretty much have only ever lived in California. So yes, I can relate to this so hard. And that $900,000 point for housing, like that, if you're looking at all California fine, I can see that as average, but like I'm in Los Angeles.
00:06:51
Speaker
I see sad little homes that in the city of ma la go for over a million and it's like, that's not even star home, that's a disgrace. That's a disgrace of a home.
00:07:03
Speaker
And that's a million dollars? So yeah, shit is crazy.
The Impact of Wage Stagnation on Success
00:07:08
Speaker
But when you add on on top of that, the fact that wages have also not increased with time, like not really, like productivity has increased significantly over the last like 30 plus years, but wages haven't increased. Like if you look at the charts, the freaking lines aren't going in the same direction here, okay? So they're not increasing at the same rate.
00:07:30
Speaker
And then when you also look in terms of success and finances, and We also, as a generation and also Gen Z, like there is a serious lack of benefits and a serious lack of retirement in association with that.
00:07:47
Speaker
Like time and again, i see people commenting online, people talking about finances and things like that and like savings and investing and investing for retirement. And it's just like, how?
00:07:59
Speaker
the common complaint is, i in terms of like what I tend to do, I spend a good portion of my time on and off like watching videos about finance and personal finance. And a lot of the comments under these videos is always like, well, how am I supposed to do this on the money that I make? like I can hardly even afford my bills, afford my rent, let alone have anything left over to save, to invest. So We, as a generation, and a including Gen Z with us, since they're also relatively new into the workforce and starting to deal with all this or have been dealing with all this, we are struggling, to put it lightly. And because of that, how we are defining success is no longer what previous generations have so defined as success.
Valuing Work-Life Balance and Mental Health
00:08:47
Speaker
And we are shifting our values around that as well, because instead of focusing on finances and focusing on maybe even like material things as as the fruits of our labor,
00:09:02
Speaker
We are now looking for other things to show success and redefining what a successful life looks like because, you know, we're getting less bang for our buck. So now we as two generations are looking at quality of the present moment.
00:09:19
Speaker
we're looking at work-life balance that has become a central aspect of success in the present day. We are looking for flexible work arrangements, prioritizing mental health. We are setting boundaries in our personal lives at work. Like one of the things I absolutely love is, mean, I hate it but I love it for Gen z where people definitely like, I see a lot of Gen X and like boom, we're talking about like, nobody wants to work.
00:09:46
Speaker
And then it's like, well, why are they saying that? Oh, because like Gen Z don't fuck around. Like Gen Z is out here being like, am I going to get paid for that extra time? Like, oh my God, do you guys remember? Actually, I don't remember that person was Gen Z, but it's a good example.
00:09:58
Speaker
There was maybe like a year or two ago, there was a person and who like, there was scheduled, ah forgive me if I get a part of the story wrong, but this person was scheduled to clock into work I think like 9 a.m. around that time.
00:10:13
Speaker
So they had like a workout class that they do in the morning before they go to work, like scheduled regularly. and But their boss called them at like 7 o'clock in the morning was like, i need you to come in for a meeting.
00:10:24
Speaker
And the person was like, is this going to be like... yeah am I clocking in for this? Am I going to be paid extra time for this? Like, like how is this going to work? Because I'm not supposed to start until nine. And then like the boss was like, no, no extra time. Just like coming to work for this meeting. Like basically you're not going to get paid for this extra time. And the person was like, and no, if I'm not going to be clocking in I'm not going to attend the meeting. i have a yoga class or whatever. And then like they went So they they had the normal morning, went to the yoga class, or whatever it was, and then like went into work at the time that they were scheduled to be in work. And it was this whole fiasco online.
00:11:00
Speaker
But the thing is, like, that's what it is. It's people who are younger who have seen millennials and other people like struggle and then give up so much of their lives because men millennials have that girl boss era, OK, where we just drove ourselves into the ground. So they've seen how that doesn't actually result in much for most people.
00:11:21
Speaker
So lot of GMT, they are setting boundaries like that. And then for other generations, older generations, it translates to they wanna work. And it's like, no baby, they don't wanna get exploited, okay? So there's that aspect to it that I do love and appreciate for people doing that and like starting to shift work culture in that way.
Personal Struggles with Housing Costs
00:11:41
Speaker
But it is indicative of people shifting how they view success and how they are defining what they want in life in the present moment.
00:11:55
Speaker
So i have I have a new segment in the podcast called Growing Pains. And this is where I talk about where I'm struggling or grappling with something. And again, just signifying that like I'm human too, even though you know I'm over here, I'm a certified life life coach, and I work with individuals on a myriad of different things, but also I'm working on things for myself as well.
00:12:16
Speaker
And like I mentioned earlier in the episode, I live in Los Angeles, born and raised in California. Housing is crazy expensive. This is something that I struggle with on the daily here in LA because I do look for housing. i look for You know, just different places, different areas.
00:12:37
Speaker
Rent is increasing every year, like all the time. like it is It is crazy out here. And whenever I look for housing, again, I'm aiming low, people, okay? I am one person and a mochi, my dong. And I look for studios.
00:12:55
Speaker
like I'm not looking for one bedroom. If i'm I'm looking at a building where like the studios and the wood bedrooms are like relatively the same price, and i'm like then I'll consider a one bedroom. But like I'm looking for a one bedroom in a decent area that has a balcony because Mochi needs sunlight and to sunbathe. Mochi, oh my God, he lives his best life. like i he He sunbathes like and it's just, I'm jealous.
00:13:17
Speaker
I want to be Mochi in my next life. Anyway. So that's that's it. That's all I want. A neighborhood where I feel safe walking my dog at night and a studio and a balcony. That's it.
00:13:28
Speaker
That's all I want. i'm not I'm not asking for much, okay? And it is crazy because I have seen studios, not even in the city of Los Angeles, okay? I'm in the greater LA area. I have seen studios in the greater LA area in Orange County, not even like the super fancy parts of Orange County.
00:13:44
Speaker
I have seen studios for $25 fucking hundred dollars. A pinche studio. How are you gonna tell me a studio is so fucking luxurious that it is $2,500?
00:13:58
Speaker
That's exploitation. Okay, that that is that is ridiculous. Somebody needs to go to jail. That's a little bit of an exaggeration, but maybe not. Anyway, so thanks that's what I'm struggling with because how am I supposed afford that as one person?
00:14:12
Speaker
That's crazy. That's absolutely crazy. I learned remember talking to my sister, but like I found a one-bedroom apartment relatively nearby where I currently live. And the one bedroom was going for 1925, something like that. around something like that.
00:14:31
Speaker
and I was talking to her about it and she was like, that's fucking crazy because the townhome that she had purchased 10 years ago in the San Diego area was like $19.50. A fucking townhome was the same price as this one bedroom apartment.
00:14:51
Speaker
No. Somebody has to go to jail. Somebody has to go to jail. The landlords. Anyway, um so that's my struggle. I'm right there with you for all of you who are struggling with housing costs.
New Goals: Quality of Life and Community
00:15:04
Speaker
So I touched on earlier what the new goals are and how we're redefining success for all of ourselves as millennials, as Gen maybe Gen Alpha when you start working. but Hopefully we are able to change things by then.
00:15:19
Speaker
But what are these new goals that we are setting for ourselves, these new pinnacles, if you will, of success? And honestly, that is, like I mentioned before, quality of life, but what does that entail?
00:15:33
Speaker
Community connection. meaningful relationships. Again, we're looking at mental health. I am a huge proponent that community and healthy relationships and connections are a significant part of mental health, if not about our physical health as well.
00:15:46
Speaker
So community connection, meaningful relationships, mental health. We're looking at personal fulfillment. We're looking at purpose-driven work because if we're gonna get paid anything, my heart better fucking be in it. You know what saying? And then on top of that, time freedom.
00:16:03
Speaker
And we're looking at experiences over material possessions. Again, like all the travel vlogs and stuff, like people, like that's the other thing as well. like a lot of people don't have a ton of money, but depending on how we prioritize or we spend our money, where a lot of us are still able to do certain things.
00:16:21
Speaker
So a lot of people prioritize maybe travel, even if it's like ah a local thing, a day trip, something, new experiences, new places, even if it isn't like international or out of state.
00:16:33
Speaker
So we are shifting success because success might be doing a day trip, say to San Diego, instead of I don't know, bringing you home.
00:16:45
Speaker
Crazy, crazy that we're like putting that on the same you know same level. But again, it's like I mentioned before, we're like, my definition and definition of success is only buying a house. It's like, I want a shoe bedroom with a washer and dryer unit and a balcony.
00:17:01
Speaker
God, I want to
Improving Financial Situations through Action
00:17:02
Speaker
cry. um Anyway, if you relate to this, if you stay this long, well let me know what your definitions of success are. Like hit me up, send me a DM. I want Instagram. I want TikTok. Send me a DM on what your definition of success is and how this economic state has it's essentially impacted you and like affected you. Definitely take some time to also, if you haven't really thought about it too much, no no problem. That's what we're here for. you Take some time to reflect on what all of this means for you. like what like What shift has has impacted you? What are you shifting in how you see things? And really take some time to think about your own definitions of success. Because sometimes you kind of just get stuck in life and just moving forward and kind of doing the same thing and we get stuck in our routine without really assessing what we're working towards.
00:17:52
Speaker
Or maybe we have defined success for ourselves without truly being cognizant or conscious of it. So it takes some time to really become one with your definition of success.
00:18:05
Speaker
And the other thing as well is that this economic situation, like like where you are terms your finances, yes, there is a lot that we can do for ourselves in terms of improving our financial situation. And again, I tell her that I listen to personal finance stuff all the time. I'm constantly thinking about how to improve my own financial situation for my present day and for my future.
00:18:27
Speaker
But it's not easy because one little thing that I've learned over the years of listening to all these personal finance things is that the only way to really improve your financial financial situation is by making more money. Like you might see all those YouTube videos being like, 10 tips to save more money, or like three things to do to like start investing now or whatever. like You just, how to pay off your student loans, make more money.
00:18:50
Speaker
That's it. Are there things you can do to help yourself? Yeah, but like the main thing, make more money. Anyway, anyway, with that situation, because we are looking at systemic things that are impacting our financial situation for us as a nation,
00:19:03
Speaker
You have to also fight for a better financial future.
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:19:06
Speaker
so we yes, this does get political. And i would suggest if that feels very overwhelming, just to start at your local level. Look at your local politics as well. Mochi agrees if you heard him bark right now. But ultimately, if you stayed this long, I truly appreciate you. If this resonated with you, if you connected with this episode, leave it a five-star review because it definitely helps get it out to the people who need to hear this as well.
00:19:33
Speaker
If you are wanting to make sure you are staying in touch with everything that I'm posting, make sure to follow along, subscribe and all that stuff. You can find me on social media as well. well And if you are looking for support, if you are making shifts in this world, if you need help figuring out how you even find or define success, hit me up. i Like i mentioned, I'm a certified life coach and I am taking on a new clients so you can schedule your very own discovery call with me through