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Stories that Shape Us: What A Magical Girl Retires Teaches About Radical Self-Acceptance and Choosing Yourself
20 Plays9 days ago
In this Stories That Shape Us episode, I'm breaking down A Magical Girl Retires by Park Seolyeon, a book about depression, hope, and stepping into your power when you least expect it. The unnamed protagonist is 29, depressed, drowning in debt. As a 35-year-old American with three degrees, hard relate. She's saved from attempting suicide by a clairvoyant magical girl and discovers she might be the one who saves the world.
🚨 Major spoiler alert for A Magical Girl Retires and trigger warning for attempted suicide.
What this book teaches about hope and transformation:
- By the mere act of trying, there is hope—persistence shows something worth living for
- You dare to hope then boom disappointment—that quick switch to "yeah that makes sense"
- From suicidal self-doubt to saving the world, then choosing yourself by retiring
The story shows that for those of us struggling with depression and mental health challenges, we can't deny how much hope we still have. The mere fact that you keep moving forward shows there's still a kernel of self-love, love for your dog, friends, family, something beautiful enough to keep going. Even if it doesn't feel good.
Subscribe. Share. Remember that finding hope in unexpected places and choosing yourself, even after achieving something amazing, is radical self-acceptance.
Small steps, big healing. Keep growing! ✨
Join the conversation! What book unexpectedly taught you about hope? DM me on Instagram @YourCoachMari!
🎧 Related episode: Embracing the Dichotomy: How to Hold Space for All of Yourself
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Transcript
Introduction to Growing with Sol Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello beautiful souls and welcome to another installment of the Growing with Sol podcast where we explore the moments and stories that shape who we're becoming. I'm Marisol and this is where I love to have real conversations about growth, self-discovery, and learning to put yourself first.
00:00:16
Speaker
Whether we're diving into books that change our perspective or unpacking personal experiences that teach us something new, this podcast is for women who are done playing small and are ready to embrace their own journey.
00:00:30
Speaker
If you've struggled with putting in everybody else first or even can battle with self-doubt, then you're in the right place. This isn't about perfection. It's about the messy, beautiful process of growing into yourself.
00:00:42
Speaker
So come grow with me.
Introduction to Stories That Shape Us Series
00:00:44
Speaker
This is another installment of the Stories That Shape Us series where I talk about books that... have a profound story of transformation and healing. And I think that we can take valuable lessons away from.
00:01:04
Speaker
i am a huge proponent that we can learn as much, if not maybe more about the human condition, about life through fiction than we can from nonfiction. um Nonfiction is valuable. It has its place.
00:01:23
Speaker
I recently listened to a nonfiction book, so I get it At the same time, I'm a fiction girly. So I do think that fiction can teach us wonderful, amazing things about ourselves and about life in general.
00:01:39
Speaker
So in today's episode, I am going to be talking about a wonderful little book that I picked up randomly when I was at Vromans in Pasadena.
Discovering 'A Magical Girl'
00:01:49
Speaker
i i I saw it there and I was like, why is this book so tiny?
00:01:53
Speaker
Who are you? What do you have to share with me? and then I read the the back, the little you know description and I was like, oh, I'm hooked. I need this in my life. So we're going to talk about it and why it made an impact, at least on me.
00:02:09
Speaker
A little bit of a trigger warning. I'm not going to get too much into it in the episode, but I do mention it and it is how the book opens. So trigger warning for attempted suicide, both in the book and just talking about it a little bit on the podcast.
00:02:24
Speaker
So we're going to do a little bit of synopsis of the book. A Magical Girl by Park Sol Yoon follows an unnamed protagonist who is undeniably struggling through adulthood.
00:02:35
Speaker
Alone and in debt, we find our FMC choosing to simply end it all. She's stopped, however, by the clairvoyant magical girl, ah Roa, who essentially sweeps our FBC away on an adventure of self-discovery and empowerment, all while trying to save the world.
00:02:56
Speaker
That's my kind of story, okay? So when I read the description in the bookstore, I was like, I need this. And I'm to get into why a little bit more as well later in the episode.
00:03:08
Speaker
the same time as much as like I resonated with the description of the book it also took me a little bit by surprise I will admit when I picked up the book and even after I read the description I wasn't I didn't fully know what to expect um and that's part of the reason why i chose to buy it I was intrigued by the small size of it because I got like I think when I looked it up online, it's called the Nomad version. I got the little one, the little baby book. It was so cute.
00:03:35
Speaker
So i was intrigued by the size of it. Again, don't judge a book by its cover, but I basically did. um And then also the fact that the main character is 29. I feel like main characters, especially lately, and especially if you tend to read Romanticy like me, the main characters, the FMCs, tend to be very young. They tend to be like 19, 20 years old. And it's like...
00:03:56
Speaker
you deserve love too, baby girl. But like, I want to read a story that has an older female main character. So the fact that she was 29, I was like, sold.
00:04:08
Speaker
I think it's really interesting that we never really learn her name. I did a little bit of research and reading before writing the outline to this episode.
Relating to the Protagonist
00:04:16
Speaker
And on a couple of places, it said that we never get her first name in an attempt to, an attempt for the reader to further relate and resonate with her.
00:04:26
Speaker
The thing is, I'm going to tell you right now, i had no problem from the very beginning relating to her. I also find it, out um I don't know, maybe it's because I've been reading my entire life. I don't find it that difficult to like start to relate in some way, usually to characters in books. But i'mma tell you right now, hard relate to the overall vibe of this main character.
00:04:49
Speaker
Definitely. So with that being said, i was hooked from the first page. Listen, the main character, she is 29. She is depressed. She is drowning in debt.
00:05:01
Speaker
Baby girl, I'm a 35-year-old American with three degrees. How could I not relate to those things? Okay. On top of that, as somebody who has been depressed and who still struggles with a negative streams of thought, I really appreciated how we as the reader got to witness, got to experience along how the main character or got to experience the main character's thought process around different life events and just like everyday things. Like we got to witness her thought process and how she thinks about
00:05:42
Speaker
getting a job, how she's thinking about her debt, her overall living situation, like her apartment, how she feels about that and how she thinks about that. And then we get to see how she is processing and how she starts to think about potentially being the magical girl who could save the world.
00:06:04
Speaker
That's a big deal. now
00:06:08
Speaker
If you haven't read the book yet, girl, what are you doing here? Go get the book, read it, come back. Definitely. um But also,
00:06:18
Speaker
one of the... ah I don't know. Maybe I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself. But I do think there is something... like a little nugget of wisdom, a little bit of importance in the fact that magical girls tend to only be girls, like hence the name magical girl. They're the only, like girls are usually the only ones who like get the magic.
00:06:41
Speaker
And then on top of that, it always comes, it manifests in a moment of desperation, in a moment of feeling utterly and completely weak and helpless.
00:06:53
Speaker
And we witness the protagonist constantly feeling like this sense of like morose in everything and feeling maybe not fully helpless, maybe not fully weak, but definitely having that like negativity, having that like That like near hopelessness, having that like, meanten it's the thing it's not it's not cynicism, but it's almost like, I'm so close to giving up, but I can't.
00:07:35
Speaker
that That feeling, you know, it's that. And I do think that is pivotal, which I'm going to get into a little later.
00:07:46
Speaker
But with with the main character and how she's processing job, debt, being alone, the apartment, like all of that, there's this, again, constant sense of like a moroseness, like everything, everything for her is a struggle or a challenge to some degree.
00:08:03
Speaker
And the one person in her life who seemed to have truly loved her, truly seen her and appreciated her, had long since passed away. And that was her grandpa who was a watchmaker.
00:08:17
Speaker
And she really resonated with that. And she has a passion for like watches and everything. And like all of that, definitely. Like like the one person that we see her have a true connection with, it's all past tense because he's long since passed away. So there's also this loneliness to the main character as well.
00:08:38
Speaker
There's this strong sense within her of being an outsider
00:08:44
Speaker
In everything that she's doing, there's always this like awkwardness, this like I don't fully belong here. Because again, even even though she is a magical girl, she's not truly part of like the club yet of being a magical girl.
00:09:02
Speaker
So even in that realm as well, there's this constant sense of awkwardness and discomfort in like every social interaction and and simply being in in in whatever location she is with the other magical girls, there is this this awkwardness and discomfort there underneath it all.
00:09:23
Speaker
And even with all of that, she still persists. And I do think that when we juxtapose her feelings and her thoughts around everything that she's experiencing, we juxtapose that or we kind of like, you know, look at that and look at, you know, everything she's doing, like her thoughts, her feelings, juxtapose with her actions.
00:09:47
Speaker
By the mere act of her constantly trying, there is hope. And I think... That is one of the key things to really look at in this story.
Journey of Empowerment
00:10:00
Speaker
Because you can look at this main character and look at somebody who is depressed. Look at somebody who is perhaps negative, who is morose, who is constantly struggling, who is lonely and awkward and all of these things, but still have hope.
00:10:25
Speaker
like still continue on. Yes, she had help. She definitely had help because we enter the story by her being on a bridge, wanting to jump off.
00:10:40
Speaker
And she is saved by someone, by the clairvoyant magical girl. and then she moves on in having more hope. Which, yes, the clairvoyant magical girl in the act of saving her and being like, hey, you're also a magical girl. Here you go. Let's chat. Let's talk about these things.
00:10:59
Speaker
Gives her hope. And I do think that's part of the healing process as well for a lot of us who have struggled with the depression and other mental illnesses. Sometimes... Often, if not all the time, we need someone else. We need a community. We need each other. Frankly, I think we need community and we need each other, even if you don't struggle with any mental illnesses or any like mental health challenges. Like we all need each other.
00:11:24
Speaker
so the fact that at the very beginning of the book, we see her interact with a new person who gives her hope, who gives her potentially something to look forward to.
00:11:39
Speaker
I think is a beautiful depiction of part of the healing process in general. I do also, i i also resonate with how, even though the main character was like, I'm struggling with all these things. I'm going through all these hard times.
00:11:58
Speaker
Like, what am i even supposed to do? And then still trying, I also really appreciated how in the book, even after she's told that she is a magical girl, she's still like in disbelief.
00:12:13
Speaker
And she's like, no, there's no way that I can be the magical girl of time. Because not even is she supposed to be a magical girl. Aroa, the clairvoyant magical girl, tells her, not only are you magical girl, you are the magical girl of time that we're all looking for who's going to save the world.
00:12:30
Speaker
And we need you because time is running out. So we need the magical rule of time. so how are you going to tell me I'm going to go from feeling so low in life that I no longer want to be here to I'm going to save the world?
00:12:45
Speaker
Like, it's it's amazing. And then from there, we see that moment of the the disappointment and the like immediate acceptance as well that she's not the magical rule of time.
00:13:01
Speaker
Like it's, cause it's that like, it's that like you finally dare to hope, you finally dare to feel
00:13:10
Speaker
positive, have positive feelings about something, that you can be something meaningful, that you can have something fulfilling in your life after you feel so low and negative. And then boom, oh, actually that's not for you. And you're just like, you know what? Yeah, I'm a piece of shit. I don't deserve it.
00:13:26
Speaker
Like, not that she thought that, but like, it's that like, you know what? Yeah, you're right universe. That's not, that's not me. Like, cause there was that disappointment and then like, yeah, you know, that makes sense. Like, That feeling, that like quick switch up, like, oh my God, like i've I've been there. So seeing it on the page was just like,
00:13:46
Speaker
I feel you, okay? I feel you so much. But that's not just like the whole crux of the story. A huge part of the story is also her journey to empowerment. And she really begins to step into her power once all the magical girls are in danger. Like, talk about high stakes in order to achieve transformation.
00:14:12
Speaker
so she... falls into, awakens her powers while the magical girl of time turns heel, okay, and has all the other magical girls frozen in time.
00:14:26
Speaker
But not her. Not her because, one, she doesn't really see herself as a magical girl, and two, her powers hadn't awakened yet. So she wasn't like magical girl TM, you know?
00:14:40
Speaker
Not yet. She was like a little magical girl, baby magical girl. Okay, magical girl in training. But it wasn't until that moment that one, her powers awakened, and she quickly learned how to effectively use her powers to defeat the magical girl of time.
00:14:58
Speaker
And then after saving all of the magical girls,
00:15:04
Speaker
Like, I don't know, feel like I didn't, I feel like we we need to look at that moment a little bit more because we're talking about a person who has been riddled with self-doubt, riddled with low self-worth, okay?
00:15:23
Speaker
And hopelessness to then be in this moment where everything is depending on her
00:15:33
Speaker
and is able then to utilize her magic to save everyone. Like, let's sit with the weight of that.
00:15:46
Speaker
Like she truly steps into herself, like physically and and figuratively, emotionally steps into her power in that moment.
00:16:01
Speaker
to do the one thing that makes a difference for everyone on the planet. Because not only were all the magical rules in danger, but the world was.
00:16:13
Speaker
Because the magical rule of time, instead of trying to rewind to fix climate change, which climate change was the big bad, that was what was threatening the world,
00:16:25
Speaker
The Magic Girl Time was like, climate change is going to end humanity? Let's speed that up. Let's not fix it. Let's just speed that up. Let's get this over with already, okay?
00:16:35
Speaker
That's what the Magic Girl Time was trying to do, which, again, I also kind of understand. But she was defeated by our protagonist here in a moment of truly stepping into her power, which was phenomenal.
00:16:51
Speaker
So not only does she have to radically believe in herself in that moment to step into her power, to have the gall, the audacity to think that she could defeat the magical rule of time.
00:17:06
Speaker
She then, which you wouldn't have really expected. I mean, it's the title, you know, it's the title of the book. But after experiencing such powerful transformation emotionally,
00:17:21
Speaker
You wouldn't expect somebody who finally steps into the power like this to just be like, you know what? Yeah, I'm cool. I'm going to retire. She retires as a magical girl right there. But she does it because she recognizes that if her power goes unchecked, potentially it can lead to disastrous impacts.
00:17:42
Speaker
And the other magical girls kind of get it. So they don't like push her too hard to stay as a magical girl So, you know, they all kind of recognize that.
00:17:53
Speaker
But I do think that by the act of retiring, it's her recognizing that this life of fighting crime, saving humanity, being in high stakes situations all the time, like isn't for her because that's what the magical girls were doing. The magical girls are basically superheroes.
00:18:13
Speaker
And She had like the most high stakes situation happen for her day one. So she was like, you know what? This is what being a magical girl is going to entail from here on out. And that's not what I want to do.
00:18:28
Speaker
And she was able to be fully strong in her decision and fully radically accepting who she is to recognize that that type of life and that type of job and environment isn't for her and powerfully decides to retire as a magical girl.
00:18:45
Speaker
And I think that that is one of the wonderful things that we can take away from this book. Like in terms of what we can take away from it, one, i think the importance of being able to step into somebody else's shoes, being able to find something to relate to the people who are in the stories that we're reading.
Themes of Hope and Self-Love
00:19:07
Speaker
This was further facilitated in this particular book by not having a name for the FMC. So when you're in the thought process and everything, you're like, you're one with the female main character.
00:19:18
Speaker
but reading definitely allows us to step into those stories a little bit more, step into those lives, emotions, experiences a little bit more and gain perhaps a more life and lived perspective.
00:19:35
Speaker
I do also think that given how juxtaposed we we see her mental and emotional state in the beginning and her continuing to just like keep trucking on,
00:19:51
Speaker
shows that for a lot of us who struggle with depression, who struggle with some of these other mental health challenges, like we can't deny how much hope we still have.
00:20:06
Speaker
Like, like the mere fact that you persist shows that you that there's still something there to keep working towards, to keep living for.
00:20:22
Speaker
And even if it doesn't feel that way, even if it doesn't feel good to keep moving forward in life,
00:20:33
Speaker
There's still this nugget of hope, a little kernel of love, self-love, love for maybe friends, family, your dog. like There's still something there that is beautiful enough in life to keep moving forward.
00:20:55
Speaker
And I think that's what this this story really shows.
00:21:00
Speaker
And that really, it really resonated with me. And I couldn't quite in the beginning, like pinpoint what that was, you know? But I related to how she like processed and felt things so much, but she was still trucking on and trying. And it's like, I feel that way. Like, I think that just last episode, I was talking about how like, you kind of get frustrated with yourself sometimes and you don't reach your goals quickly enough, whatever that means, you know? That's so subjective, but you know, and how frustrating that can feel.
00:21:32
Speaker
But
00:21:35
Speaker
Even then, when things get really dark, this book shows that there are still things that we can find that keep moving us forward in life that are worth moving forward for.
Appreciating Representation in Literature
00:21:48
Speaker
And i I don't know, maybe maybe that's a i don't think that's a very millennial thing, but I do think that, you know, she's 29, struggling with debt, like talk about the millennial experience. um So yeah. Yeah.
00:22:01
Speaker
Overall, I have noticed that I've begun to seek out novels that have older protagonists in general. At first, when I started reading again, um because again, like last episode, if you if you didn't catch last episode, go check it out.
00:22:16
Speaker
But last episode, I talked about how there was a point in time in my adult life where my creativity was essentially murdered. and now is coming back to life like a phoenix rising in the ashes. um You know, there was a point in time where during where I stopped writing, I also stopped reading.
00:22:36
Speaker
And now as I've started to write again, I've started to read again. i found a lot of, again, I lead ah ah read a lot of romanticism. So a lot of the FMCs are young.
00:22:46
Speaker
so it kind of felt like maybe it was impossible to find adults or, I mean, they're adults. They're like 19, 20 years old. But it was it felt impossible to find a female main character who was going to be in her 30s or almost 30. But yeah.
00:23:00
Speaker
but as I begin to seek out these stories, is it a little bit more challenging trying to find them? Slightly. But I am surprised that more and more I am able to find these types of books.
00:23:14
Speaker
So part of it is, yeah, I kind of want to relate a little bit more to the main character by finding somebody who's a little bit older. but also I do think that the representation of
00:23:27
Speaker
older individuals, especially because i read romance, like are able to experience love and romance even past what society deems to be their prime.
00:23:38
Speaker
Granted, this book wasn't a romance. This book, um
00:23:44
Speaker
if you catch it has a little bit of romance in there. so it's, you know, there's little kernels of of love in there, but that's not the main point of the story.
00:23:57
Speaker
Ultimately, i am so happy i randomly picked up A Magical Girl Retires at Romans back in November. So if there are any books out there that maybe you guys recommend, put them in the comments. I love finding you new things to read. um if you know of any good nonfiction audiobooks, put those in the comments too.
00:24:22
Speaker
You know, it's sometimes it's it's nice to find something unexpected and realize that it's actually exactly what you needed to read in that moment in time.
00:24:35
Speaker
Thank you for tuning in today to the Grow With Soul podcast. If you stayed this far, I truly appreciate you. If this episode resonated with you, give it a like. Don't forget to subscribe. And don't forget to share it out with someone who would truly appreciate it Because when you do, it helps this community grow as well I am a certified life coach. So if you are looking for a little bit of accountability, a little bit of extra help on your journeys as you are growing and healing and transforming, definitely hit me up. You can schedule your very own discovery call with me through the link in the show notes.
00:25:06
Speaker
Until next time, keep growing.